Re: Asking For It

1

A seductive smile.

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2

Earlobes.

But not somebody else's, that would be just a little creepy.

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3

Tapenade, and a suitable substrate.

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4

Elves.

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5

Mitch Mills is on to something. Make wax molds of your earlobes, and fill them with ganache. Dust with cocoa.

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6

Whatever (in reference to the soon to be deleted comment above).

As far as parties, which would you find least miserable? Hilton because of the guaranteed blog post? Or Aqua, for the obvious corollary benefits.

I think you need a maximin strategy on appetizer. Would you rather have overshot if it turns out to be casual (everyone brought beer and doritos), or would you rather have undershot if it's a bunch of swimmers turned gourmet.

Homemade humous is a good straddle. Grilled polenta with various little toppings (mushrooms, grilled red peppers..) is my gourmet standby.

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7

Something to nibble on... tempted to make obscene suggestions, but instead I'll just say: stop by Trader Joes and grab a couple of packages of their heated appetizers. The mushroom thingies are really good.

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8

Point one: Juliette Lewis is hilarious

Point two: Nicky is cuter than Paris. Who knew?

Point three: overshooting (as cw notes) is a fricking disaster. this is why i hate parties. Can you bring a bottle of wine?

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9

Speaking of which, whatever happened to Juliette Lewis' career? Somehow she seemed destined for bigger things than playing eyecandy in Starsky & Hutch.

As for the party, take sake. The beer and doritos crowd will appreciate alcohol that tastes pleasantly of paint thinner; the grilled polenta and oxtail pate food snobs will think you're a man of the world.

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10

I reccomend going to an "ethnic" grocery store of some kind (vietnamese, african, whatever) and buying their snack foods. you can't go wrong, because, on the one hand--they're just chips. but then again, on the gourmet tip, they're mini pappadums! or plantain chips! or taro chips mixed with chili and dried fish!! plus, the packaging is often cool. if you live by a jamaican place, patties are nice and they usually do a vegetarian type. or to do homemade, how about roasting some potato wedges with salt, rosemary and olive oil, and then mixing up some old-skool knorr onion soup mix dip. that shit is good.

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11

I realize that the effect is due in no small part to makeup, but: what the hell is up with the Hilton sisters' cheekbones? In the photo with Rick Hilton (himself not free from the affliction, so it can't all be illusory), both of them look like someone's inflated their sinus cavity.

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12

both of them look like someone's inflated their sinus cavity.

That's Hot.

Home-baked chocolate chip cookies. Gets 'em every time.

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13

Another thread to be sure I save. I think the clincher is that this is a "glogg" party (some hot Swedish alcoholic drink, I think--like mulled wine), so I'll bet cookies will be much appreciated. I'm going to give those a shot.

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14

glogg, as I've had it, is heated red wine and brandy with spices. The wine reduced a bit, so it's failry thick.

What about bringing Swedish meatballs? ok ok. bad idea.

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15

I bet this is a Santa Lucia party, isn't it? Those Swedes, always trying to push their crazy-ass holidays on foreigners.

It didn't click until you mentioned the glogg. I used to have an office mate of proud Swedish ancestry, and every year around this time she'd bring in glogg and gingerbread to work. Glogg is okay, especially if you've just come in from the freezing cold, but I wouldn't want to drink it very often. It does go well with cookies.

Santa Lucia, like most saints of old provenance, has a weird backstory. Along those lines, instead of taking cookies shaped like your ears, as per b-wo's suggestion, I think you should take cookies shaped like eyes.

Oh, and apparently, this is how you should dress:

Boys carry a candle and wear a kind of white pyjama. They wear hats that are pointy with golden stars on them.

And learn that song, you'll really impress them.

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Boys carry a candle and wear a kind of white pyjama. They wear hats that are pointy with golden stars on them.

Man, that's even better than glitter jeans.

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