Re: Officially pwned!

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Eric Alterman:

"But I'm about to write something you'd have to see to believe. At 9:15 a.m. yesterday, a packed auditorium gave Bobcat Goldthwait a massive ovation for a beautiful, sensitive, funny, thoughtful and provoking movie about a girl, her dog and oral sex. "

No comment.

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I dunno about the Lion/Lamb business. It's one thing to say that Christ was the Lion because he had the strength to sacrifice himself and was vindicated in the end. That's one kind of strength. It's another kind of strength that the lion of the jungle uses to kick ass all over the place. I took it that what Gopnik was objecting to was the absence of meekness and self-denial, which is pretty central to Christ's message.

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By the way, Adam Gopnik = Smeagol.

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Link for 1. I've heard this proclaimed "The Year of the Queer" in movies after the recent Golden Globe awards, at which six awards went to gay or transgendered-themed movies: four for "Brokeback Mountain" and acting awards for both "Transamerica" and "Capote." But somehow I wouldn't have imagined that there would be a critically acclaimed movie about bestiality anytime soon. I know there are a lot of "a boy and his dog" type movies, but not like this . . . .

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OMG, Brokeback Mountain is FINALLY playing here in East Egypt. I'll be going to see it this weekend.

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And here's the plot summary for the canine sex movie. It sounds like they don't actually show the act, which makes it less edgy than a Japanese game show. Silly Americans.

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7

Contrary to Jeremy Osner's prediction (which I had expected to be accurate), the love scenes in "Brokeback Mountain" didn't make my skin crawl. I must be getting more enlightened or something.

Heath Ledger's character really treated his wife like dirt. Not a likeable guy, IMO.

Incidentally, at Dubya's appearance before a hand-picked audience (of course) in Kansas the other day, someone actually asked him if he'd seen "Brokeback Mountain." He hadn't, of course.

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8

It seems like it might be fun, but then you get pinworms and it's no fun at all.

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Ogged, enough with your "different kinds of strength." What matters is how much Jesus can bench.

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[redacted]

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fl, there is no weight jesus cannot bench. jesus is omnipotent. unless jesus can create a weight that jesus cannot bench......ow! I hurt my brain!

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text and I pwned you way back then and only now you notice that other people pwn you too?

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13

Jesus's omnipotence does not extend to power over logical contradictions.

The answer to how much Jesus can bench, therefore, is 'more than Weiner.'

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My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about Jesus. This guy is cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Jesus can kill anyone he wants! Jesus cuts off heads ALL the time and doesn't even think twice about it. This guy is so crazy and awesome that he flips out ALL the time. I heard that Jesus was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon Jesus killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw Jesus totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Divinity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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jesus vs. logical contradiction = jesus in terrifying beatdown!

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Re the "Stay" plot: in that "how much sexual experience is too much?" thread, no one brought up whether they'd dump someone who revealed his/her prior experience(s) with bestiality.

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there is no weight jesus cannot bench. jesus is omnipotent. unless jesus can create a weight that jesus cannot bench......ow! I hurt my brain!

If you want to pwn God (and I assume Jesus, too), just get yourself some chariots of iron. (See answer to question 12.)

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Concerning "Stay":Does anyone know whether the oral sex is dog-on-girl or girl-on-dog? Or eben mutual? It's an important distinction, and I won't be able to sleep until I know.

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In the Infancy gospel of Thomas, a child disperses water that Jesus has collected, so Jesus makes the child's body wither into a corpse, and another child is killed by Jesus when he accidentally bumps into him. When Joseph and Mary's neighbours complain, they are miraculously struck blind by Jesus.

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In the canonical gospels, the only smiting Jesus does is of a fig tree -- for not blooming, when it's not even in season.

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18: Tragically, a Google search did not reveal the sucker and suckee.

19-20: This Jesus guy sounds like he takes no shit from anyone or anything.

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You know that Jesus is a bad motha-

Anyway, I can't help but feel that Vox misreads Gopnik. What does Gopnik say? Jesus as Lamb is central to the Gospel story. How does Vox rebut? Revelations says.... Big F-ing deal. Set aside all issues of Bible-as-historical-text, the bottom line is that L, W, & W and Gopnik are both referencing those first 4 books about Jesus' life - in which he is much, much more lamb than lion. In fact, it's lion-esque nonsense like smiting punks left and right that kept Thomas and others out of the Canon.

Unless you try to claim that Gopnik doesn't mean what he says, I think Vox's rebuttal is void, and he needs to try again.

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