I now have a theory that the reason some people get annoyed with you for being nice, or attempting to sound studly, is that it disturbs the cult of Ogged. Gotta maintain that consistent persona, a la Chuck.
Look guys, if you're going to form a cult around Him (a step I believe to be long overdue), you've really gotta start hyphenating the vowels in His name.
There is no evolution.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:32 AM
Norris gets a lot of screen time in The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:33 AM
Tuesday?
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:35 AM
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:38 AM
I now have a theory that the reason some people get annoyed with you for being nice, or attempting to sound studly, is that it disturbs the cult of Ogged. Gotta maintain that consistent persona, a la Chuck.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:44 AM
He may be Chuck Norris, but he ain't no Paul Daniels, that's for sure!
Posted by Simstim | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:46 AM
My favorite: Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:46 AM
Ah.
3 was me, of course, since my history keeps clearing every time I log onto my computer these days.
"Clear History" is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:47 AM
Some have speculated that tornadoes are caused by Chuck Norris farting. They are wrong. Chuck Norris knows his own strength, and controls himself.
Okay, so that was kind of lame, but I thought it would be a fun thing to use the thread for, so I wanted to start us off.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:48 AM
I think it would be more fun to do it for the cult of Ogged, based on comment 5--the cult of the non-nice, non-studly, Ogged.
LHF first:
Ogged's sperm cures cancer. Too bad he never scores.
Posted by Ttam R. | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:51 AM
But what's my persona, if not oddly unpredictable, ac?
Tia, I thought about trying my own, but I can't compete with "too bad he has never cried."
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:52 AM
Your persona (amended).
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 9:57 AM
I am now filled with shame for the mean spirit of comment 10. Instead, let us have a thread about Chuck Norris farting.
Posted by Ttam R. | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 10:02 AM
Ogged's sperm cures cancer.
Ogged's true identity revealed!
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 10:03 AM
14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 10:11 AM
Sure, Chuck's tough. But he's no Robert Tessier. He won't kick your ass and clean your floors, now will he?
Posted by Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 10:32 AM
Look guys, if you're going to form a cult around Him (a step I believe to be long overdue), you've really gotta start hyphenating the vowels in His name.
Posted by Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 10:33 AM
This is way old news, ogged.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 10:43 AM
The one Cala highlights is clearly the best.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 10:47 AM
That article doesn't mention the top thirty Vin Diesel facts or Mr. T facts.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 10:56 AM
Holy shit, the Vin Diesel facts are hilarious.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:05 AM
In our own ways, we are all that child thrown into the sun.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:12 AM
By Vin Diesel.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:12 AM
Whoops! Mr. T facts.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:19 AM
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:20 AM
Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:23 AM
That seems more in character than Vin Diesel dividing by zero.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:30 AM
Here's some more from IntraWebNet, with pictures of Norris and T. I'm not sure what to make of the site's homepage.
Posted by JDC | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:31 AM
I'm not sure what to make of the site's homepage.
For starters, they spell "IntarWeb" wrong.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:33 AM
I told Pandora I liked Sufjan Stevens, and a mere six songs later it served up this song from this album.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:34 AM
this song
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 11:35 AM
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 1:40 PM
Bruce Lee isn't dead. Just hiding from Chuck Norris.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 5-06 1:43 PM
Chuck Norris responds.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-10-06 11:06 AM
as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?"
He sounds unsure of the odds.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 01-10-06 12:06 PM