Re: A little too earthy, perhaps.

1

I'm sure that if he'd shown a video of George Bush having sex with a pig, he'd have been given a raise! But when he simply displays, without necessarily endorsing, a central aspect of down-home American virtue, apparently that's too "controversial" or "politically incorrect" for these ivory-tower liberal administrators.

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2

"earthy"?

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3

Presumably the pig hadn't been washed.

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4

Fucking animal rightsers. Fucking age of consent laws. In pig years, the age of consent is two.

"Ironic, isn't it? I'm old enough to be made into bacon and ham, but if anyone ever tries to make me happy, suddenly I'm just an innocent little piglet who needs to be 'protected' from my own desires."

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5

I blame the pigtriarchy.

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6

[redacted]

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7

I have no idea how an academic could end up with a video of someone having a sexual encounter with a pig on their computer.

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8

(In other news, it's my fault that the server went out for about a half hour just now. I am teh suck.)

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9

Was it distracted by your sweater?

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10

This story is clearly another example of liberal bias in higher education. Conservatives have no problems having coition with the barnyard fauna. Money quote: When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.

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11

The nice thing about mules is you know they can't get pregnant.

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12

The nice thing about mules is you know they can't get pregnant.

Especially juicy, since the mule-fucker quoted (aptly named Neal Horsley) is also an anti-abortion/pro-life activist. Does abstinence-only education encourage sex with sterile hybrids?

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13

And all the pieces fall into place.

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14

These pieces?

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15

Those too.

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16

"(In other news, it's my fault that the server went out for about a half hour just now. I am teh suck.)"

You just did that as part of the plot against Steven den Beste.

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17

Gore Vidal on Brokeback Mountain:

"You can see how the two sheepherders might get tired of the sheep and begin to look to each other, as a kind of variation on a theme. "

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18

I'm gonna chime in with "jesus, this could happen to me" as well. Ok, I don't have pig-fucking videos on my computer. NO I DON'T. But just the other day I accidentally closed a browser window where I'd pre-loaded the web pages I wanted to show, and I had to pull down my history file to get them back up. I was sweating bullets, wondering "when was the last time I visited my blog? Checked Bitch's email?" Imagine if I'd been surfing porn sites in the office before class.

Not that I've ever done that. But, you know, just in theory.

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19

My friend who went to agricultural college tells me it's anatomically impossible for a human to enter a sow.

Unless, I suppose, the sow was genetically modified for the purpose.

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20

The elite snobs at the agricultural colleges would have you believe that.

You have to ask yourself whether they have something to hide.

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21

#19:

Did he give you any idea why? This seems implausible, but I confess I'm not that familiar with the comparitive anatomy.

Not that I'm claiming that this is too important a matter just to take on faith, but such a statement would have picqued my curiosity.

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22

There's always oral, but I think the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

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23

Male pigs have flexible, corkscrew shaped penises and enter the female using a rotary motion so that the tip of the penis actually locks into the sow's cervix. So I suspect the advice was on the suspicion that the sow vagina was similarly shaped. However, I don't believe that's the case and according to the experts, it's entirely possible as long as you're slow and lube up, since male pigs have very thin penises.

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24

Why are you assuming the pig was female?

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25

Dude, buttsex with a pig would be gay. The guy wasn't a pervert.

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26

#23

Man, that site is so knowing, it carries so much conviction, you almost believe it's not just very skillful bullshit. Think there's any way to find out? I mean, just using the internet, not trying to repeat the experiment.

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27

A professor of mine once said that in his southern hometown, all the guys who fucked animals were straight.

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28

Pigs are practically designed for frottage.

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29

The site didn't say anything about sensitivity to the sow's needs, or treating her as a real person rather than as a sex object. Just because they're fat doesn't mean that they have no feelings.

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30

I only have sex with animals I intend to eat. I don't view it as entertainment.

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31

The site isn't just about pigs: Zoophile

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32

Emerson, have you read "Sylvia, or the Goat" yet? You really need to, you know.

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33

Today's top news quote, sponsored by the good people at John Emerson Industries:

"One could certainly ascertain that if you're in a barn and in a secluded area with a lamb and you're behind her and your pants are down by your ankles, then an unnatural sex act is probably occurring," says Lisa Allen of the Maricopa County Sheriff's office.
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