I'll reply the same way I did offline: everybody here should remember that any time you are in a room with me, you are in a situation where you cannot get out of sex.
God only knows why the end of the sentence "If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex" isn't "hit someone and run like a thief," but her meaning is still pretty clear.
How terrifying to be the girl in question! Some much older woman you don't know comes up to you and offers top have a frank conversation about sex: cue running and screaming.
Apo, as much as you wish a hammer in your back pocket was a part of every conversation, the joke is perfectly sensicle with only LizardBreath's hammer involved.
Blowjobs seems to be a Hollywood compromise of long standing. Supposedly the day that Marilyn Monroe got a contract, she said "Well, that's the last blow job I'll have to give in this town."
According to Bill Clinton and some Baptists, blowjobs are chaste. For big-time sin, penetration is required. (I have no information on the opinion of Cardinal Sin of the Philippines, however.)
36 - Someone actually got pissed at me for that once. At an old job, where we still had paper paychecks, one of my co-workers came around on Friday to hand them out and I was in a weird mood and said something like "Are you the paycheck fairy here to give money to all the good little girls and boys?" and he was all "ARE YOU CALLING ME A FAIRY?!!?" and stormed off.
82: On second thought, SB, I'm not sure I do either. I will now attempt to develop an after-the-fact justification that is (a) manifestly ad hoc and (b) completely unfunny, as is my custom.
OMG! If an Unfogged commenter sexed Mutumbo - cripes, that would be so HUGE that I'm completely at a loss as to appropriate behavior. I'm not really comfortable with promising that I'd set my computer on fire, but it would have to be that level of offering of thanks.
Speaking of the meetup, I might not be able to make it, I'm extremely bummed to say. I have to have an emergency rehearsal with someone and tomorrow night is the only night we could do it.
I might make the tail end, if it's still going on after 9 or so. Do we think that's going to happen?
God, I hope we're not so lame that we're all packed up and gone by 9. The last one also started at 6 but a lot of people really didn't get there until 7-ish. When did things break up? I don't recall.
They broke up at like 10, right? The bar kicked us out at 10. Because last call in New York, as we all know, traditionally coincides with the time my great-grandparents like to watch Lawrence Welk.
It's only for fear of disappointing you that I refrain from telling my rather removed and distant story about him. But you can discover the identity of the model for Motumbo by plugging the words "bou/doir swords/man" into google.
At a minimum, you should caucus at the meetup and decide who will sex Mutumbo for the sake of Unfogged. All evidence is that he's straight, so it's time for one of you to take one for the team, BwOs and CwOs. (I'm not trying to push the committee's decision in any direction, but if Mutumbo lives in NYC - well, he has ties to DC, as well, and....)
An alternative to the plan in 111 would be to entice Mutombo to become a regular commenter. Then we could all collectively sex Mutombo. At the Mineshaft.
112: Apo, I was trying to think of an analogous case for a straight guy, and I can't. It's difficult because, assuming the appropriate gender for the assignation, it's all to easy to imagine a guy saying "yes" in these circumstances.
125: Not analogous. What's the story motivating you to sleep with her? Even if you didn't want to sex Mutombo, there's clearly a payoff in that you get to say, for the rest of your life, "I sexed Mutombo." And to any right minded person, that's just funny.
I just love that there's a theory theory of the structure of concepts. I also like this bit further down:
At present, the nature of conceptual structure remains unsettled. Perhaps part of the problem is that more attention needs to be given to the question of what explanatory work conceptual structure is supposed to do and the possibility that there are different types of structure associated with different explanatory functions.
I once asked a prominent philosopher what 'concept' generally meant and the response was something akin to 'Oh, hell, I don't know.'
'Theory-theory' denotes a confused a concept as 'concept': 'mental machinery...prediction thingy' is pretty close, and it would help if the literature were at all consistent.
Hey you Colleens, of which I think there are several present, I could use some advice:
For the last several hours, I've had a corned beef boiling on my stove. 'Tis a bit of an experiment, it is. It's soon time to add potatoes and cabbage. How much of the cabbage core should I cut out? I was thinking of quartering them, like me Mum did.
I qualify by ancestry, but don't know from boiling cabbage -- my parents had issues with the odor. Quartering sounds reasonable, though, leaving the core intact to hold the quarters together.
It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely crockpot on the stove where Mike Furir lay buried. It lay thickly quartered on the kitchen counter and its core, on the spears of the little fork, on the barren tines. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the cabbage falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their mechanical commenter, upon all the corned beef and the spam.
You can make your comments fancy with tags like <this> and </this>. But it doesn't work if you instead make a fish, like </this<. When you make a fish, Jesus eats your comment.
I hate philosophical jargon. I can't remember it, and everyone uses it poorly. Although it is a good way of getting more publications, I guess, trying to figure out which of the seventeen people are talking past each other and which think they're disagreeing but really agree.
Way too late for the cabbage now, but for future reference;
- In Ireland we'd usually have a boiled bacon joint. Corned beef is an Irish American thing.
- Also in my family anyway we boil the cabbage separately, at the last minute, leaves being all stripped off the core rather than all together. I think traditionally it used to be cooked in with the joint but I've never seen anybody do this.
- Spuds would definitely be boiled in their own pot. They are generally boiled with the skins on but this might only work properly for the varieties popular here (Irish people like potatoes to be floury, not waxy).
Some call him Tim. Tshimanga Biakabutuka, that is.
Society's prohibition against same-sex marriage makes me sad, because it means that Boutros Boutros-Ghali will never be able to marry Reuben Boomtje-Boomtje. Because somebody somewhere should be named Boutros Boutros-Ghali-Boomtje-Boomtje.
No, I did not sex Motumbo. No one of my acquaintance has sexed Motumbo. Neither did we sex Mutumbo, Motomba, Matumbet, or anyone else of that general description. The tragic misapprehension upthread is the result of my inability to catch basketball references, however low the actual athletic content. This was further complicated by my inability to understand a previous Motumbo reference, which happened, fatally, to link his name to a film. Your confusion at the turns of my Motumba story cannot exceed my own; I wondered greatly at everyone's excitement over a reference to an obscure art film. The rhetorical pitch of 95, for example, should have alerted me to some glaring error on my part. I apologize for any hurt and dashed expectations caused by my mistake. I hope you can forgive me. At least we can all take comfort in the preservation of the mystery of that eternal question, "Who will sex Motumbo?"
It took a lot of courage to write that, ac. I'm sorry you lost your chance to blog at the Washington Post over this youthful indiscretion that hateful leftists have trumped up into something much larger than it really was. But that's just how their parents raised them. We should feel pity, not anger, at their adolescent rantings.
I think it's very big of ac to offer that apology when really it was Ben Wolfson who inserted all the Mutombo references into her posts. She resigned from Unfogged when Ben was promoted, you know.
And to all the haters: many of us, when younger and less wise, made the mistake of not sexing Mutombo. Cast out first the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
planting and rearing the oaks which are to compose its beams and stanchions. You take over all such supplies ready hewn, and choose by preference time-seasoned timber.
That's a pretty abstruse way of talking about sexing Mutombo, but OK.
Thank you. Oddly enough, the solution which, by that time we, arrived at was close to yours: Cabbage leaves pulled from the core and steamed separately, potatoes boiled separately in their skins, meat left alone.
But the one-pot meal has a pull for me that makes me keep thinking about it. Some are good, some are not. Corned Beef, potatoes (ordinary potatoes, peeled and usually quartered) and cabbage (chopped in half along the core, no other trim) was what I grew up with. Probably not as good as I remember it.
If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex
Something seems a bit wrong about that.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:00 PM
I'll reply the same way I did offline: everybody here should remember that any time you are in a room with me, you are in a situation where you cannot get out of sex.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:01 PM
So long as we're reposting emails:
God only knows why the end of the sentence "If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex" isn't "hit someone and run like a thief," but her meaning is still pretty clear.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:04 PM
How terrifying to be the girl in question! Some much older woman you don't know comes up to you and offers top have a frank conversation about sex: cue running and screaming.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:04 PM
I don't want to overreact, but the idea of a "situation where you cannot get out of sex" has a name: rape.
Here we go; is Armsmasher back from St. Sophia's yet?
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:04 PM
Great, give away the secret life of our blog, guys.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:05 PM
Hey, let's rerun the entire email conversation:
LizardBreath sounds much more sensible than Sharon Stone, if you ask me. I'm bringing my hammer to Unfogged: Durham.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:05 PM
Kinda loses the sense of the joke without the intermediate link, Tia.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:08 PM
What about the construction "I'd like to give you a two-minute conversation"? Wouldn't a more appropriate noun there be "lecture"?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:08 PM
A little fairy
Didn't we decide on "priss"?
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:08 PM
"Two-minute conversation" is secret code for "blow job".
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:08 PM
Ok, I'll post my email too:
Apostropher, let's keep that drunken night of bliss just between us, ok?
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:10 PM
Kinda loses the sense of the joke without the intermediate link, Tia.
It does not. What link? Are you just trying to convince everyone that the blog has more of a secret life than it does?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:10 PM
A little fairy
Little, along which of his dimensions?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:10 PM
Little, along which of his dimensions?
His soul.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:11 PM
"Isn't it time for a Two Minute Conversation(tm) of your own?"
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:11 PM
Yeah, if you 'can't get out of sex' call upon the inner powers of the calabat and get the fuck out of sex.
Honestly, even though I'm sure apo will have a link that proves me wrong, no one has ever died of blueballs.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:11 PM
Hammers to the crotch prevent rape.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:11 PM
Here we go! Who wants to not get out of sex with Mutombo?
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:12 PM
This email conversation being printed out of its original order is a bit like watching Memento.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:12 PM
I got out of the wrong side of sex with Mutombo this morning.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:13 PM
Apo, as much as you wish a hammer in your back pocket was a part of every conversation, the joke is perfectly sensicle with only LizardBreath's hammer involved.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:13 PM
Great, give away the secret life of our blog, guys.
Don't worry, Labs, I've only mentioned our affair by implication.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:15 PM
19 -- Is that Regis' new quiz show?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:15 PM
Oops.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:15 PM
Tia is right!
So you guys, like, e-mail each other to decide what to post? It's not just unfiltered?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:16 PM
even though I'm sure apo will have a link that proves me wrong, no one has ever died of blueballs.
Of course I do.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:16 PM
Fuck! 27 has noise.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:16 PM
get the fuck out of sex
OxiClean helps.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:17 PM
26: Not usually. The linked article was emailed to all of us by a lurker, and chat ensued.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:19 PM
LOUD LOUD LOUD NOISE in the link on 27.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:19 PM
Our emails to one another are usually limited to exciting topics like a rise in comment spam and/or why the server is slow.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:19 PM
the joke is perfectly sensicle
A hammer to the sensicles helps deter unwanted sex.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:20 PM
Sensicle! Whimpsters have a pair.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:20 PM
Oh, and talking about Matt Weiner behind his back, of course. Not to make you paranoid or anything...
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:21 PM
30: So, the lesson learned is: email the bloggers a link, get called a little fairy?
Posted by Matthew Harvey | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:22 PM
Blowjobs seems to be a Hollywood compromise of long standing. Supposedly the day that Marilyn Monroe got a contract, she said "Well, that's the last blow job I'll have to give in this town."
According to Bill Clinton and some Baptists, blowjobs are chaste. For big-time sin, penetration is required. (I have no information on the opinion of Cardinal Sin of the Philippines, however.)
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:22 PM
If you really need to get the fuck out of Intercourse, AL, you can just take highway 17.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:23 PM
You guys just have no idea how much resonance the Mutombo references carry for me. No idea.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:23 PM
36 - Someone actually got pissed at me for that once. At an old job, where we still had paper paychecks, one of my co-workers came around on Friday to hand them out and I was in a weird mood and said something like "Are you the paycheck fairy here to give money to all the good little girls and boys?" and he was all "ARE YOU CALLING ME A FAIRY?!!?" and stormed off.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:24 PM
But, Tia, our affair is conducted entirely within blog comments.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:24 PM
email the bloggers a link, get called a little fairy?
I thought that made it clear who emailed it.
39: Do tell, ac.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:25 PM
Who wants to resonate ac the references to Mutombo?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:26 PM
"ARE YOU CALLING ME A FAIRY?!!?" and stormed off.
The fairy doth protest too much, methinks.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:26 PM
Man, if one of our commenters sexed Mutombo, that would be so, so awesome.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:27 PM
If you really need to get the fuck out of Intercourse, AL, you can just take highway 17.
Just be aware you'll be leaving someone with no way out of here.
(Though maybe he could manage to walk to Lancaster.)
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:28 PM
We'd need a bigger word than "awesome" to contain what it would be.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:28 PM
Right, Labs, our affair is entirely conducted within blog comments.
IN MY PANTS!!1!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:29 PM
After the apocalypse we will all walk to Lancaster.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:31 PM
49: "lots of old-fashioned farming implements around"
ac's heading straight for the hoes.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:33 PM
Not me, Matt.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:33 PM
And I'll be screwed.
It is rife with temptation over there.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:33 PM
We'd need a bigger word than "awesome" to contain what it would be.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:34 PM
There's also an Intercourse, PA and a Paradise, PA, all in the same general area.
('Remember, the time from Blue Ball to Intercourse may be delayed by a quaint Amish buggy.)
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:34 PM
Not me, Matt.
It's a paradox
Like timeless clocks
Or egg-laying cocks
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:35 PM
Does my awesome look like crap to everyone else?
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:36 PM
We'll never get to Intercourse when all the laydeez just sail to here.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:36 PM
56: There are a couple of extra line breaks in it. On the other hand, your crap probably looks awesome.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:37 PM
Let us just say that Motumbo lives and breathes, and last I heard, had a loft in TriBeCa.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:38 PM
Your awesome is awesome enough, SB. I ♥ it.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:38 PM
The best part about that Dildo Island link is that the artifacts are knives and spears.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:38 PM
Don't hold out on us, ac.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:39 PM
Mr. Bridgeplate: <pre> tags can, if used judiciously, be your friend.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:39 PM
OK, now I'm just completely confused by what ac is saying.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:39 PM
Sadly, Tia, I have to get back to work before this conversation reaches its natural destination.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:40 PM
Oh never mind. Guess I auto-pwned myself or something.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:40 PM
Mr. Bridgeplate
Assumes facts not in evidence, non?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:41 PM
Listen to ogged, ac.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:42 PM
Jeez, lighten up okay? I mean I said I was pwned didn't I? Can't get a break around here...
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:43 PM
Big surprise. Labs getting ahead of himself. We haven't even been here yet.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:43 PM
You can't auto-pwn anyone else.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:43 PM
If we hear the story, will we have to wash our brains afterwards?
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:44 PM
I have to get back to work before this conversation reaches its natural destination.
The Coxsackie Reservoir?
On the other hand, your crap probably looks awesome.
I'm
spflattered, apo.Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:44 PM
71 posted without seeing 69. To be consistent, I will just have to pick on TMK relentlessly for the rest of the day.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:45 PM
We haven't even been here yet.
Start here and work your way up.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:45 PM
I'll bring the brandy, Tia.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:47 PM
I ♥ it.
Thank you, Becks. I ♥♥♥ your decorum.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:47 PM
Say, where is Austro, anyhow?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:47 PM
Okay, but after going through all that, I get to be here.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:48 PM
If someone were to mess with the stylesheet so that linebreaks in <pre> tags weren't so wide, that would be awesome.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:51 PM
That's fine; there won't be a problem.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:51 PM
Even though both "bone" and "gap" sound intrinsically naughty, I don't get it.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:53 PM
How great is it that there's a town called "Nether Wallop"? I didn't want to slip that into conversation-- it seemed presumptuous.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:55 PM
82: On second thought, SB, I'm not sure I do either. I will now attempt to develop an after-the-fact justification that is (a) manifestly ad hoc and (b) completely unfunny, as is my custom.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:57 PM
We should just go ahead and get this over with.
I totally want to live on Mt. Buggery.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:58 PM
80 -- I'm pretty sure the same thing could be said of <blockquote> tags, too.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 12:58 PM
That's fine; there won't be a problem
That's good, because it would be tragic if something of such legendary grandeur had to wind up here.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:02 PM
I'll put those all on my rainy-day list.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:02 PM
Funny, apo, I thought you did.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:04 PM
That's good, because it would be tragic if something of such legendary grandeur had to wind up here.
That reminds me, don't fuck with Procrustes.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:04 PM
More than just metaphorically, Labs.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:07 PM
90 is basically a "Bobbitt" joke, but with extra mythology—which, while adding pretense, adds nothing to the intrinsic lack of funny.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:10 PM
Tricksy Bobbitts! They wants to steal the precious!
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:11 PM
I wonder if she gives the same "two-minute conversation" to 14-y/o boys.
Posted by ogmb | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:19 PM
OMG! If an Unfogged commenter sexed Mutumbo - cripes, that would be so HUGE that I'm completely at a loss as to appropriate behavior. I'm not really comfortable with promising that I'd set my computer on fire, but it would have to be that level of offering of thanks.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:27 PM
I know. It would be a very, very special day.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:33 PM
SomeCallMeTim Has a Comment
I have learned the secrets of the many abbreviations written on the Internet. OMG: "oh my ++Jeebus++".
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:35 PM
How can I elaborate in this kind of atmosphere?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:36 PM
You shouldn't. You should email me, and I can lord it over everyone that I know and they don't.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:37 PM
I promise to be quiet and serious.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:37 PM
In great detail?
Or you could save it for tomorrow night at the meet up. I swear I wouldn't post about it.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:37 PM
About Mutumbo or burning computers?
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:37 PM
97 -- I thought it was "Oh Miss Gladstone".
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:39 PM
Speaking of the meetup, I might not be able to make it, I'm extremely bummed to say. I have to have an emergency rehearsal with someone and tomorrow night is the only night we could do it.
I might make the tail end, if it's still going on after 9 or so. Do we think that's going to happen?
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:40 PM
God, I hope we're not so lame that we're all packed up and gone by 9. The last one also started at 6 but a lot of people really didn't get there until 7-ish. When did things break up? I don't recall.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:43 PM
They broke up at like 10, right? The bar kicked us out at 10. Because last call in New York, as we all know, traditionally coincides with the time my great-grandparents like to watch Lawrence Welk.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:46 PM
Tia, you're such a tease.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:46 PM
It's only for fear of disappointing you that I refrain from telling my rather removed and distant story about him. But you can discover the identity of the model for Motumbo by plugging the words "bou/doir swords/man" into google.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:48 PM
105: Too early. We didn't change bars even once.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:52 PM
109: Word.
Posted by Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:56 PM
At a minimum, you should caucus at the meetup and decide who will sex Mutumbo for the sake of Unfogged. All evidence is that he's straight, so it's time for one of you to take one for the team, BwOs and CwOs. (I'm not trying to push the committee's decision in any direction, but if Mutumbo lives in NYC - well, he has ties to DC, as well, and....)
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 1:59 PM
take one for the team, BwOs and CwOs
Don't be such a priss, Tim. We'll play "Ask".
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:03 PM
"bou/doir swords/man"
"Why are you smiling?"
"Because I know something you do not know."
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:03 PM
So now Weiner is my matchmaker and SCMT is my pimp. Great.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:05 PM
An alternative to the plan in 111 would be to entice Mutombo to become a regular commenter. Then we could all collectively sex Mutombo. At the Mineshaft.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:06 PM
Dear Mutombo,
I represent the estate of the late Iranian blogger Ogged. I am writing to you with an exciting carnal opportunity...
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:06 PM
The Independent (UK) seems to love the phrase more than anyone else in the whole wide world.
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:10 PM
Even if no one here has sexed him, we sure have permuted his vowels.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:13 PM
Has it nearly destroyed him?
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:15 PM
You're thinking of Motownbo.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:17 PM
Oh, you said vowels.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:21 PM
Tia, you're such a tease.
I hope the half hour you've now waited for me to get out of the bathroom has made you think better of statements like that.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:25 PM
112: Apo, I was trying to think of an analogous case for a straight guy, and I can't. It's difficult because, assuming the appropriate gender for the assignation, it's all to easy to imagine a guy saying "yes" in these circumstances.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:25 PM
Not ogged.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:32 PM
"an analogous case for a straight guy"
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:36 PM
I ♥ 120. My hat is off to you, Standpipe.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:36 PM
Thanks, MAE. I can't say how pleased I am at how much mileage we've gotten out of that.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:44 PM
I've got a story! About a person you may have heard of! And sex! But I won't tell it!
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:46 PM
125: Not analogous. What's the story motivating you to sleep with her? Even if you didn't want to sex Mutombo, there's clearly a payoff in that you get to say, for the rest of your life, "I sexed Mutombo." And to any right minded person, that's just funny.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:47 PM
SCMT is my pimp
SCMT is become Ogged!
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:47 PM
But you can google "infundibu/liform j/owls" to get a sense of it.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:48 PM
oh no, standpipe, you've said too much.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:50 PM
Weird. That never used to return any hits. The internet is catching up to me!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:51 PM
the person in question, [REDACTED], [REDACTED] me with a [REDACTED]; then I redacted him/her with a [REDACTED] [REDACTED].
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:51 PM
and a pony.
the pony's name was Michelle Malkin. We never spoke again.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:54 PM
130 was me.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 2:54 PM
In reply, Tia, I punish you by spending forty minutes thinking about why concepts can't be prototypes. Victory is mine, or would be if anyone cared.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:04 PM
No one knows what a concept is. 'Concept' is philosophy-talk for 'thingy.'
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:08 PM
So Labs is thinking about why his thingy can't be a prototype?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:10 PM
Hey, it's bphd's accidental goatse link. (I think. Not clicking, I'm at work. Both links in this post are innocuous links to the Unfoggedosphere.)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:24 PM
Oh, come on. You did that on purpose.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:31 PM
*ahem* second link
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:31 PM
I just love that there's a theory theory of the structure of concepts. I also like this bit further down:
In other words, what Cala said.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:36 PM
From boudoir swordsman to inverted sword swallower.
May I suggest a new thread or a way to get rid of Mike Furir?
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:38 PM
I like that the theory theory's HTML anchor is a British dance band.
But really, aren't concepts just thingies -- IN THE MIND?
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:40 PM
I remember a letter of John Jay Chapman's to William James making this very point, that he can't say what a concept is.
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:43 PM
But really, aren't concepts just thingies -- IN THE MIND?
I'll make you fear bunnies, Weiner, I swear.
Posted by B.F. Skinner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:47 PM
144: For every Mike Furir comment you have seen, there have been at least 500 caught by the spam filter.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:49 PM
I once asked a prominent philosopher what 'concept' generally meant and the response was something akin to 'Oh, hell, I don't know.'
'Theory-theory' denotes a confused a concept as 'concept': 'mental machinery...prediction thingy' is pretty close, and it would help if the literature were at all consistent.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:52 PM
Has anybody's math eye seen a pattern to the numbers? not that mine has, but I'm always aware that there might be one.
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:54 PM
150.--I was almost curious enough to click on one of his links. Almost.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:56 PM
148 - How did you post that, Apo. I set up any comment with Furir in it to be junked.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:58 PM
Apparently the same way I just posted 152. Damn plugins!
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 3:58 PM
150 - You'd need to see the several thousand that didn't make it through to tell whether any pattern existed.
151 - That's the most annoying thing; the links don't even go anywhere. It's just a parked godaddy.com page.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 4:00 PM
Hey you Colleens, of which I think there are several present, I could use some advice:
For the last several hours, I've had a corned beef boiling on my stove. 'Tis a bit of an experiment, it is. It's soon time to add potatoes and cabbage. How much of the cabbage core should I cut out? I was thinking of quartering them, like me Mum did.
Posted by John Tingley | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 4:04 PM
I qualify by ancestry, but don't know from boiling cabbage -- my parents had issues with the odor. Quartering sounds reasonable, though, leaving the core intact to hold the quarters together.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 4:07 PM
152 - From what I can tell, SpamLookUp doesn't really work consistently.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 4:21 PM
It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely crockpot on the stove where Mike Furir lay buried. It lay thickly quartered on the kitchen counter and its core, on the spears of the little fork, on the barren tines. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the cabbage falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their mechanical commenter, upon all the corned beef and the spam.
Posted by text | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 4:25 PM
I'll never question the authority of the text again.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 4:40 PM
I'd forgotten the name of the boy she saw by the gate, and how his number was different every time she looked.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 4:59 PM
and it would help if the literature were at all consistent.
Ahahaha..ha....ha.....eh....*sigh*.
Next up, we'll discuss seventeen unrelated uses of the word "externalism."
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 8:53 PM
Try not to coin any new uses of "externalism" on your way to the parking lot.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 8:58 PM
"Seventeen" doesn't prompt that joke.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 9:08 PM
I was thinking of a different Mutombo altogether. Never mind.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 9:12 PM
"Seventeen" doesn't prompt that joke.
It's not my fault that Labs didn't set it up right.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 9:22 PM
Apparently I failed to understand all the layers to a comment that is now gone. I thought it was just a reference to a movie.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 9:31 PM
You can make your comments fancy with tags like <this> and </this>. But it doesn't work if you instead make a fish, like </this<. When you make a fish, Jesus eats your comment.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 9:31 PM
Thirty-seven?! (In a row!) Labs, you whore.
I hate philosophical jargon. I can't remember it, and everyone uses it poorly. Although it is a good way of getting more publications, I guess, trying to figure out which of the seventeen people are talking past each other and which think they're disagreeing but really agree.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 9:40 PM
I was thinking of a different Mutombo altogether. Never mind.
Cover-up! We citizen-journalists will connect the dots, never mind the "official" "denials."
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 9:59 PM
There is no Mutombo but Mutombo.
And his full name is Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacque Wamutombo.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 10:02 PM
I thought it was just a reference to a movie.
Defying all odds, that's even more disappointing than the yogurt story, ac.
I should have known Mutombo couldn't be in TriBeCa. He's playing in Houston.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-06 10:13 PM
Way too late for the cabbage now, but for future reference;
- In Ireland we'd usually have a boiled bacon joint. Corned beef is an Irish American thing.
- Also in my family anyway we boil the cabbage separately, at the last minute, leaves being all stripped off the core rather than all together. I think traditionally it used to be cooked in with the joint but I've never seen anybody do this.
- Spuds would definitely be boiled in their own pot. They are generally boiled with the skins on but this might only work properly for the varieties popular here (Irish people like potatoes to be floury, not waxy).
Posted by emr | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 3:51 AM
Everything that people say about Dikembe Motumbo is really true of Shimange Biakabatuka.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:06 AM
His true names is Tshimanga, supposedly. Some call him Tim.
Tim Biakabatuka
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:12 AM
Shimange Biakabatuka
Some call him Tim. Tshimanga Biakabutuka, that is.
Society's prohibition against same-sex marriage makes me sad, because it means that Boutros Boutros-Ghali will never be able to marry Reuben Boomtje-Boomtje. Because somebody somewhere should be named Boutros Boutros-Ghali-Boomtje-Boomtje.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:13 AM
Weiner-pwned!
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:13 AM
I'm Sorry I Did Not Sex Motumbo
(a prepared statement, by ac)
No, I did not sex Motumbo. No one of my acquaintance has sexed Motumbo. Neither did we sex Mutumbo, Motomba, Matumbet, or anyone else of that general description. The tragic misapprehension upthread is the result of my inability to catch basketball references, however low the actual athletic content. This was further complicated by my inability to understand a previous Motumbo reference, which happened, fatally, to link his name to a film. Your confusion at the turns of my Motumba story cannot exceed my own; I wondered greatly at everyone's excitement over a reference to an obscure art film. The rhetorical pitch of 95, for example, should have alerted me to some glaring error on my part. I apologize for any hurt and dashed expectations caused by my mistake. I hope you can forgive me. At least we can all take comfort in the preservation of the mystery of that eternal question, "Who will sex Motumbo?"
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:15 AM
It took a lot of courage to write that, ac. I'm sorry you lost your chance to blog at the Washington Post over this youthful indiscretion that hateful leftists have trumped up into something much larger than it really was. But that's just how their parents raised them. We should feel pity, not anger, at their adolescent rantings.
Also, Boumtje.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:20 AM
I take enormous solace in the fact that you spent this week bashing me, instead of Motumbo.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:24 AM
Thank you, apo. I am humbled by and grateful for your support.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:24 AM
Link in 179 is NSFW.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:25 AM
Depending of course on where you work.
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:26 AM
Motumbo link NSFW.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:26 AM
I think it's very big of ac to offer that apology when really it was Ben Wolfson who inserted all the Mutombo references into her posts. She resigned from Unfogged when Ben was promoted, you know.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:28 AM
And to all the haters: many of us, when younger and less wise, made the mistake of not sexing Mutombo. Cast out first the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:31 AM
Apparently, it's all good, now.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:33 AM
planting and rearing the oaks which are to compose its beams and stanchions. You take over all such supplies ready hewn, and choose by preference time-seasoned timber.
That's a pretty abstruse way of talking about sexing Mutombo, but OK.
(187!)
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 7:42 AM
The yogurt story wasn't so bad in the end, was it?
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 8:27 AM
The yogurt saga is one of this blog's triumphs.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 9:15 AM
Indeed. Although I like to think of the possible world in which it was presented as a Two-Minute Mystery:
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 10:44 AM
A man is covered with copious amounts of white goo. His girlfriend is mortified. What happened?
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 10:47 AM
#172:
Thank you. Oddly enough, the solution which, by that time we, arrived at was close to yours: Cabbage leaves pulled from the core and steamed separately, potatoes boiled separately in their skins, meat left alone.
But the one-pot meal has a pull for me that makes me keep thinking about it. Some are good, some are not. Corned Beef, potatoes (ordinary potatoes, peeled and usually quartered) and cabbage (chopped in half along the core, no other trim) was what I grew up with. Probably not as good as I remember it.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 11:26 AM
192: My brother has some nice recipes for pot roast on his blog, Better than the Rest(aurant)
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 11:28 AM
like specifically
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 11:30 AM
191: He was making marshmallows!
Posted by Matthew Harvey | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 11:50 AM
172: What, praytell, is a bacon joint?
Other than god's greatest gift to apostropher, of course.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 3:58 PM
It's really, really hard to light.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-29-06 4:45 PM
196: Bacon joints.
Posted by emr | Link to this comment | 03-30-06 4:47 AM
P.S. I especially like the "primal loin of bacon".
Posted by emr | Link to this comment | 03-30-06 4:48 AM
Odama metrius morzero
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 03-31-06 12:54 AM
That crazy Google.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-31-06 7:31 AM