Re: My Mother Last Night At Dinner: A Monologue

1

D'oh! Somewhere, ogged's heart is breaking.

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2

How hard did you laugh? Enough for your mom to actually ask if you needed heimlichy assistance?

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3

Oh. Similar stories from my Arkansas family: my grandfather and uncle had to get their asses beat (twice) by my cousin's boyfriend (now husband) before they would "let" him in the family. Why D wanted in at that point, I have no idea.

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4

My grandfather looking at my musical collection when I was about 19:

"Stevie Wonder? Michael Jackson? Prince? They're all niggers!"

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5

My (Canadian) grandfather on my year abroad in France when I was about 19: "Be careful! We've had a lot of trouble with our French over here."

We didn't talk to him much about the French guy I nearly married.

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6

Awesome, Becks. I was chuckling out loud.

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7

The upshot of the story about my grandfather and D is that D is a better grandson than I, since I still haven't fathered any children. Which makes me wonder, in Becks' scene, is mom's monologue a not-subtle digging for grandchildren? Or is that such an obvious answer as to be a silly question?

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8

2 - Yeah, I laughed. The Heimlich comment was because I was drinking iced tea at the time she said it and snorted it up my nose.

7 - Oh yeah. I totally read this comment as "I don't care who it is! Please just get married and give me some grandkids already!"

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9

I totally read this comment

This makes it sound even more like your mom reads blogs.

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10

Moms are so unabashed. Mine asked us last year (in a similar grandkids-oriented conversation): "Do you guys even have sex?"

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11

My sister-in-law informed my wife that kids were a great project--"You can make yourselves, with tools you have at home!"

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12

True story: After I'd been living in New York not quite a year (this was 23 yrs ago), I moved into a 3-BR apartment I shared with two women. Shortly before that, my father (now dead, for reasons unrelated to this anecdote) and mother call me to plan a weekend visit and I inform them of my new living arrangements. I can tell by the long silence on the other end that Dad clearly is displeased but also reluctant to say anything, inasmuch as I'm a self-supporting adult now. Finally, in what passed from him as an attempt at humor, he said, "Well, as long as they're both white ... "

Which, of course, led me to wonder, "Do I tell him now? Or do I just let him get up here and find out on his own?" ;-)

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13

I told my son that if he had kids before he was 30 I'd kill him. I feel that it's important to give your kids good reasons for what you tell them to do, rather than just expecting them to obey you unquestioningly, and not getting killed is a good reason.

He's 33 this month, and still no kids!

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14

Following 13

I wish you were my father. I fear my mom's perspective is skewed irreparably because I have several (!) 18yo cousins who have been getting knocked up by boys they meet at Wal*Mart. Arkansas now teems with toddlers of my relation, and each one of those babies reminds mom that K and I haven't put out yet.

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15

So your mom does not like black beemers in the family?

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16

I have to give my dad credit: for all he doesn't like the idea of the whole living together thing, he helped me move in with Mr. B. after college and never said a word. Credit to my mother-in-law, too; she said a word, but she didn't say it to me.

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17

We were commenting just the other day on the precise same topic. I'm off to see my mother tomorrow for a few days, as you can see, this involves interplanetary travel.

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18

Prejudice against bitches is one of the last frontiers of tolerance and acceptance. I believe that they rank right above transsexuals and atheists.

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