Re: Something I did not know.

1

Sexist. But undeniably hilarious.

horizontal rule
2

From here "malkin" is said to be the origin of "merkin"

horizontal rule
3

And "merkin" is also undeniably hilarious. It's a two-fer.

horizontal rule
4

I manage to avoid MM completely, except in her presence in blogs reacting to her. Where do people keep encountering her and her opinions? If weren't for blogs, I wouldn't know she existed.

horizontal rule
5

If you watch FoxNews for any length of time, you'll see her.

horizontal rule
6

Unrelated, but who the hell falls for this scam?

horizontal rule
7

Wait, that guy wasn't a real doctor?!?

horizontal rule
8

They call me Dr. Love, B.

horizontal rule
9

Wait, that guy is you?!?

horizontal rule
10

On the advice of my lawyers, I decline to answer that question.

horizontal rule
11

But you're about due for a follow-up check, you know. Wouldn't want to miss any of your lumps, your lumps, your lumps*.

*This part included especially for Matt Weiner.

horizontal rule
12

Actually, I'm due for a pap smear.

Is there any less sexy phrase than "pap smear"? I ask you.

horizontal rule
13

One person didn't fall for it.

horizontal rule
14

I haven't looked it up, but wouldn't it mean 'cat' as in 'Greymalkin'? Or as a cat name, is the cat being called a slattern?

horizontal rule
15

"trans-urethral resectioning"

horizontal rule
16

Well, "cat" means "bitchy woman." So maybe malkin / graymalkin have the "woman" thing as background.

horizontal rule
17

No, "trans-urethral resectioning" just sounds clinical. Whereas "pap smear" has the flat a, the double p, and the lovely sound of "smear" in it. Yukko.

horizontal rule
18

A graymalkin is a merkin sold at the retirement home.

horizontal rule
19

Do they have cornrow merkins yet?

horizontal rule
20

"trans-urethral resectioning" just sounds clinical

Scat queen?

horizontal rule
21

Delurking here, the OED says Malkin as a name came first, then to evolve into "slattern" etc. It was originally a diminuitive of "Maud," or maybe "Mary," and came to be used for "a lower-class, untidy, or sluttish woman."

"Graymalkin" or "grimalkin" probably derived from giving some cats that name.

It also lists the phrase "malkin-mad" meaning mad as a hare (because Scots used the word to mean hare). Perhaps this could be converted into a new synonym for "Malkinesque"?

horizontal rule
22

Not sure. I think the sibilant s, the hard t, and the long e sound make "scat queen" kind of fun and playful, no? Like one of my favorite onomatopoeic phrases, "rat's ass."

horizontal rule
23

And yet "pap smear" and "scat queen" scan the same as each other. Read them together: pap smear scat queen. Pap queen scat smear. Pap scream scat queer. Scat stream spat smear. Scat dream pap's queer. You could go on like that for a long time.

horizontal rule
24

And: how come I never see the third 'o' dropped from onomatopoeic? Most other English words with an oe diphthong, it gets shortened to 'e'. So I would expect to see onomatopeic -- is this usage standard and I just don't read enough English composition textbooks?

horizontal rule
25

third s/b fourth.

horizontal rule
26

O, we love our poesy so.

horizontal rule
27

re: slut, slattern etc. I'm fascinated by the close linking of untidy with immoral in all the traditional meanings. Actually Becks used the term that way(untidy, negligent and incompetent housekeeping) just a couple of days ago, it persists, although I think the culture is in the process of decoupling these concepts. Am I wrong? I don't remember the concepts being linked when I was growing up, but I was a boy, what did I know?

horizontal rule
28

Hey Weiner, this post is totally for you.

horizontal rule
29

I had the same experience with Anita Brookner's Bay of Angels I think it was. Anyway, what the commenter said about reading them in The New Yorker. Runaway isn't top-form, so I am unwilling to declare unequivocally that drunkenbee sucks.

Alice Munro has, however, written a few stories that would go great in a mystery anthology that wasn't too purist about form: "Fits" especially (which I found utterly gripping), "Something I've Been Meaning To Tell You," "The Love of a Good Woman."

Aggie.

horizontal rule
30

A lot of my colleagues used the slow transformation of "huswife" into "hussy" as a teaching exercise.

horizontal rule
31

No, "trans-urethral resectioning" just sounds clinical. Whereas "pap smear" has the flat a, the double p, and the lovely sound of "smear" in it. Yukko.

You could instead get a pap schmeer, in which they spread a dollop of cream cheese across your rack.

horizontal rule
32

I invented the word "schmear" as applied to bagel spreads.

horizontal rule
33

Schweet.

horizontal rule
34

Call the Lab Supply place; we're out of Petri bagels.

horizontal rule
35

To Becks and her issue I leave nothing, for reasons I deem sufficient.

horizontal rule
36

But she used a c.

horizontal rule
37

C, schmee.

horizontal rule
38

But she used a c

Maybe, but ac told me it was all worth it.

horizontal rule
39

Hey, remember "schwing"?

Ah, junior high.

horizontal rule
40

Hey, remember "schwing"? Ah, junior high.

There are drugs that would allow you to achieve erections again, you know.

horizontal rule
41

Schwing low, schweet schwariot.

horizontal rule
42

40 -- you'd know all about that, I guess.

horizontal rule
43

42 - Of course. I work in the pharma industry.

horizontal rule
44

Where's that blacklist?

horizontal rule
45

Sorry, I don't know from Schwing. Context suggests a relation to my coinage, U&OEs. Am I right?

horizontal rule
46

Pharma pharma bo barma
banana fana fo farma
fe fy mo marma
Pharma!

horizontal rule
47

Hello, nice site

horizontal rule
48

By what criteria would schwing evaluate a site as nice?

horizontal rule
49

Schwing!

horizontal rule
50

Is anyone else mildly creeped out by the new Cialis commercial, where the nice elderly couple is about to dash upstairs for some beautiful pharmaceutically-enabled love-making, but are interrupted by the doorbell? And it's their children and grandchildren? And so they have to go hug their family and play in the yard, and the whole time, I'm shouting at the TV, "Does no one notice grandpa's erection?!"

horizontal rule
51

Is anyone else mildly creeped out by the new [redacted name of erectile dysfunction drug] commercial, where the nice elderly couple is about to dash upstairs for some beautiful pharmaceutically-enabled love-making, but are interrupted by the doorbell? And it's their children and grandchildren? And so they have to go hug their family and play in the yard, and the whole time, I'm shouting at the TV, "Does no one notice grandpa's erection?!"

horizontal rule
52

hello,
diet-schwing-epoxy

horizontal rule
53

I don't think I've seen that one; you might try the slash delimiters style of disguising, at least from mechanical searches, what drug you're talking about. I've never seen humor in ads for such products before. The Cialis adds have a pleasant way of making lovemaking between older people attractive, but not funny.

horizontal rule
54

I don't think I've seen that one; you might try the slash delimiters style of disguising, at least from mechanical searches, what drug you're talking about. I've never seen humor in ads for such products before. The Ci/ali/s adds have a pleasant way of making lovemaking between older people attractive, but not funny.

horizontal rule
55

ac told me it was all worth it

As long as it didn't involve a pap smear, it's ok.

horizontal rule
56

53 - This installment of Dating Advice from ac was brought to you by Eli Lilly, the market leader in schwing enhancement medications.

horizontal rule
57

52: Oh absolutely, the rest of the ad is lovely, and the nice couple goes for drives to scenic lighthouses, and they relax side by side in matching copper bathtubs and watch the sun go down, and he reaches over and gently takes her hand, and thanks to the C-drug you mention above, he'll be ready, whenever, and that's all just peachy.

But... the grandchildren! Weird.

horizontal rule
58

55: Oh, right! I remember the ad now, the implication being that the drugs that just immediately spring the schwing have drawbacks.

But... the grandchildren!

"Hooray! Grandpa's ready for horseshoes!"

horizontal rule
59

I guess it's the same ad I have seen, but I never picked up on that before. Guess I never knew that the effect was as direct, as U&OE as this discussion implies. I was under the impression that the selling point was that it was not like that, merely shall we say, enabling.
We're all a bit young to have experienced this; what says big Pharma?

horizontal rule
60

That's the point of the ad: that their drug enables schwinging when you want it, not just uncontrollably for the next couple of hours, like their unnamed competitor drug.

horizontal rule
61

The only person I've talked to who's admitted to using Viagra was this one guy a roommate met on Nerve.com who worked as a pharmacologist and sampled every drug that the company made. He was very very thin, so the Viagra made all the blood rush out of his head into his penis and he lost consciousness immediately. When he came to, IIRC, he had a gigantic erection and a blinding headache.

I could see how a more, um, sensitive? formulation could be marketable.

horizontal rule
62

V What
I drug
A would
G you be
R talking
A about, Apostropher?

horizontal rule
63

Surprised 59 got through; has the term become generic?

horizontal rule
64

spring the schwing

Not schpring?

horizontal rule
65

This installment of Dating Advice from ac

I also suggest staying away from coffee enemas. At least on the first date.

horizontal rule
66

27: PK has a book of supposedly traditional Chinese rhymes, one of which is:

The tidy woman sweeps the floor,
She sweeps the dust all out the door,
Her little home is always neat,
And filled with happiness, and sweet.

The lazy woman something something, which ends with she has pigs in her house.

Ironically, though, in the accompanying illustration, both women are smiling.

horizontal rule
67

Yeah, but the woman with the pigs has nothing against her morals, does she? I think my guess is that lazy girls were presumed to be tempted by a life of sin because of their loathing of housekeeping, analagous to the boy, like Galbraith said the farmers in Ontario said during WWI, who was "tired of doing chores." The behavior threatens the social order.

horizontal rule
68

Well, in the poem her household is disorderly and unhappy. I don't think it's implied that she's a slut, though.

Come to think of it, maybe that's why the old guy in Oklahoma doesn't want any pig-worshippers.

horizontal rule
69

Good housekeeping is an essential part of civil defense preparedness. Wouldn't you rather live in The House in the Middle?

horizontal rule
70

He was very very thin, so the Viagra made all the blood rush out of his head into his penis and he lost consciousness immediately. When he came to, IIRC, he had a gigantic erection and a blinding headache.

That sounds bizarre. Surely the guy must have had an erection before without losing consciousness? And I don't think Viagra produces an erection by itself, either -- my understanding is that the person taking it only gets an erection if he's sexually aroused by something.

horizontal rule
71

AMG only gives Merkin 2 1/2 lousy stars, but it is a much better piece of soft psych than that.

horizontal rule
72

Well, the way I was raised slovenliness and immorality were inextricably bound. But promiscuity and immorality wasn't.

horizontal rule
73

Surely the guy must have had an erection before without losing consciousness?

Not everybody possesses your superhuman powers, Frederick.

horizontal rule
74

I remember hearing a story of the oversized(tm) passing out, and needing reduction surgery to correct this, but I've never seen this written up. The vi/ag/ra story seems implausible, unless the guy wasn't otherwise having erections.

horizontal rule
75

Maybe he was exaggerating. It was his second or third date with my roommate and the story came up during dinnertime "So what do you do?" kind of chitchat. The way he told it and I remember it, though, he was just sorta sitting around at work, took the pill, and passed right out. But maybe there was some wanking involved.

horizontal rule
76

But wanking shouldn't matter, unless I'm wrong that these drugs merely enable erections, not make them bigger/draw more blood. I suppose he might have been boarderline due to the thinness you mentioned, so that if there really is a difference in engorgement it could happen. I defer to the experts.

horizontal rule