Renowned American Idol contestant Taylor Hicks fled from rumored robot Katharine McPhee as McPhee chased him down the street Sunset Boulevard in rage that she was denied the victory she felt she deserved.
That would have been the best moment in The DaVinci Code -- if one of the puzzles had been pig latin. I just read it the other weekend (stuck with nothing to read, a copy was lying around): my God it was dumb.
Cheapo soon relodging considering junking all old dubbed cassettes from 1990s, some maybe unreprocurable drum-n'-bass from DJ LPs. Transfer technology doubtful, expensive. Dust abounds. Space limited. Old memories, some painful. Please advise.
Jatumbo Mumkako has many many dubbed cassettes, many genres, many artists. Not classical. All classical on CD always. Some excellent scat singers, divine Betty Carter, on dubbed cassette, helas, an unfortunate accident cuts in half the divine Betty Carter recording. Excellent 1990s French drum-n'-bass and house! Lots of memories, but Mumkako unlikely buy with lots of cash again. Listen again yes! maybe, if can make work in focking machine (whirr, clikclik, griiind-stop). Quirky French-pop! Old local jambands, bad but maybe good in 2020! Good oldskool rap, KRS-1, Jazzmatazz, Company Flow, I can play none on old machine. Ninja Tunes compilations, excellent, this I can buy.
Boxes of LPs very heavy to move. Mumkako lifted LP boxes up six flights of stairs once. Was mad at LP owner. Digital music is very light. Dubbed cassettes not so heavy but shitty, take space, and laughable.
I just did the lamest, lamest thing. I played eye games with this kind of actually gorgeous guy on the subway today, and I wrote him a note with my name and phone number, and handed it to him on the way out the door, and he smiled and nodded, and I just got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize and answered it without thinking and then realized after I pressed the button that it was probably him and I got really scared. So I didn't say anything for like 6 seconds and just left the phone on my bed (music was playing in the background, so he'll know the problem wasn't that he couldn't hear me), and then I just hung it up and turned the phone off really quick. i'm having trouble coming up with a plausible explanation for this that blames the phone.
1) Claiming ineptitude with the phone. I do often fumble ridiculously with the phone, particularly when I'm trying to switch between calls, and I've more than once answered a call only to drop the phone or whatever. This only works if you call him back like NOW.
2) 'Fessing up to being scared. It has the advantage of being honest, which, you know, is the best policy. It has the disadvantage of making you seem like hardcore and adventurous. But how adventurous, by NYC standards, are you really? Think Craigslist, mind you...
3) Chalk it all up to experience and what you might do next time. There are lots of gorgeous guys in the subway, and there are lots of gorgeous guys in less impersonalized spaces, as well. Practice can at least make for less spastic.
I *already* used my charmingly inept routine in my note. I apologized for being too shy too keep eye contact. I am even lamely bad at eye games. I feel like hanging up and turning my phone off spills into no longer charming awkwardness territory.
I feel like hanging up and turning my phone off spills into no longer charming awkwardness territory.
That might depend on what he considers to be charming and awkward. You did it, so you've got to deal with whatever that might mean about you. Don't prejudge his reactions. I mean, seriously: he's still a random schmuck on the subway at this point. You might as well be honest with him because there is absolutely nothing to lose at this point.
I have never, ever dared even flirt with the guys I lusted after on the subway; you're doing FINE in the ballsy department. And I suspect that the guy who called you might not be behaving entirely within his norms, either.
So: text him with something like "OMG, suddenly v. shy, email me here."
I don't think so. I mean, if it were me it would have taken me a reasonable amount of deep breathing just to make the phone call, and when that goofy-ass stuff happened I would have at the very least needed some more deep breathing before trying again. Or I might have figured, "Damn, she's regretting it, I don't want to call again because that's pathetic." We do have this fact, that he did want to call you the first time. Would flaky behavior on the phone make him change his mind? Then the hell with him.
Well, I called him, using the dropped my phone story with a twist of ran out of batteries, and he answered, but it turns out his English is not so good. Feeling too tired to deal with a phone conversation with a non fluent English speaker, I told him it was a little late for me and I would call him back tomorrow. Now I have to figure out what I'll say tomorrow, but I don't feel like dealing with non-fluent English even for a fling. The trouble with subway eye games as mate selection...sigh.
Though now I'm wondering if he was just reflexively apologizing for his English. It didn't seem that bad. But eh, do I even want to fling with a non-native speaker? Not really.
Subway eye games are not a very good means of mate selection, agreed. Non-native speakers aren't necessarily unworthy of a fling or two, though.
[Drifts away.]
He called you and replied to your apologetic reply call; so, he's already gorgeous, adventurous, and forgiving, to some degree. Seriously, though, I admire your boldness, but I reckon you had less than a 5% chance of meeting someone interesting on the subway. He's doing okay so far, I'd say.
I was too shy to *keep eye contact*, not to flirt. I do, in fact, suck at eye games. It was only a steely "get back on that horse" mentality that allowed me to play at all, and at the time of note-writing, I hadn't even allowed myself to look long enough even to be sure they were being played, though after I wrote it I was sure, because he was basically looking straight at me, probably because he'd seen me take pen to paper, and knew what I was up to. But suck at eye games, I do. I'm much better at note writing.
What is his native language? I'd say, if his English sounded good to you, Tia, then you could have a lovely time teaching him some more advanced "vocabulary words."
I don't know. He's black, first name Ishmael. I didn't recognize his accent. Anyone have a guess? Anyway, I don't think I feel like flinging anyway. I'd rather see people with relationship potential.
His skin was kind of medium toned, I might mention, and I think most of the West Africans I've met have been darker. Maybe he's from the Caribbean. Ishmael seems like a likely Caribbean name.
There was a guy in my high school who when sketching things while bored in class would occasionally look at someone very carefully as he drew in such a way as to make that someone think he was drawing them when in fact he was drawing something completely unrelated.
I know this guy's type. He sounds like fun, but sooner or later he'll grow grim about the mouth, knock your hat off, snuggle homosocially with his sailing buddy, find some unctuous sperm to rub his hands in, then at last become a disembodied omniscience. Don't bother.
I suddenly feel that I should v.ote for someone. If only I could figure out who.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:37 AM
Let your subconscious guide you, young w/d. It is often a source of great wisdom in times like these.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:40 AM
1 might have been funny if I was right that the period after the "v" was bolded. Alas, closer examination reveals otherwise.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:51 AM
And you call yourself a journal editor.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:53 AM
Slavoj Zizek argues that the most obscene possible form of pornography would depict a monkey having sex with a robot.
Posted by Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:57 AM
"don't know who initiated the meme of describing the battle that way"
Well, neither do I but I know it's a reference to the James Kochalka comic.
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:03 AM
And you call yourself a journal editor.
Everytime I introduce myself.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:44 AM
Slavoj Zizek argues that the most obscene possible form of pornography would depict a monkey having sex with a robot.
I thought this meant Zizek was a Kibologist, but it turns out I was actually thinking of deathmatches between inanimate objects.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 11:08 AM
The American Idol recaps here have been pretty entertaining.
Posted by Joe O | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 11:16 AM
So which one is the ape and which the lion?
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 11:19 AM
"AI" is "The Gong Show" for morons.
Posted by effjay annongay | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 2:18 PM
There's something funny about this post. I think it's an anagram!
Posted by Dan Brown | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 2:21 PM
Renowned American Idol contestant Taylor Hicks fled from rumored robot Katharine McPhee as McPhee chased him down the street Sunset Boulevard in rage that she was denied the victory she felt she deserved.
Posted by Dan Brown | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 2:25 PM
That would have been the best moment in The DaVinci Code -- if one of the puzzles had been pig latin. I just read it the other weekend (stuck with nothing to read, a copy was lying around): my God it was dumb.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 2:33 PM
Growing morose, as hoof hints.
Posted by Janey Offanangy | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 2:58 PM
Does it cost money to call in a vote for an American Idol contestant?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 3:02 PM
Ben, mime me taffy-like leaky cock.
Posted by Palpitate de Bedspring | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 3:14 PM
Oh go on, Tia! Swing from horses!
Posted by Fanny Najef-Yoga | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 3:16 PM
Mistress Najef-Yoga, a male horse or a female horse?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 3:35 PM
Man-horses? Fright wigs? Noooo!
Posted by Fanny Najef-Yoga | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 3:43 PM
No answerers for 16?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 3:49 PM
Freedom? Look! Call rides man-horse to morning's end.
Posted by Fane Yjoany Fang | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 3:58 PM
Idol phone calls are free btw!
Posted by Fane Yjoany Fang | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 7:06 PM
TVless cheapo require procurement aid.
Posted by Jatumbo Mumkako | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 7:13 PM
Does TVless cheapo Cingular have?
Posted by Fane Yjoany Fang | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 7:21 PM
TVless cheapo prefer fine Deutsche services. T is for Telekommmmm!
Posted by Jatumbo Mumkako | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 7:31 PM
Not worth it probaby is it. Hard through to get, abound Verizon error messages. With Cingular, text you can.
Other news in, discovered Eva Cassidy I have, indirectly American Idol through. Now SHE a singer is!
Posted by Fane Yjoany Fang | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 7:35 PM
Cheapo soon relodging considering junking all old dubbed cassettes from 1990s, some maybe unreprocurable drum-n'-bass from DJ LPs. Transfer technology doubtful, expensive. Dust abounds. Space limited. Old memories, some painful. Please advise.
Posted by Jatumbo Mumkako | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 7:58 PM
title artist genre what ares?
Posted by Pay Dontay | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:03 PM
Fane Yjoany Fang her old cassettes has! Snap, growl!
Posted by Fane Yjoany Fang | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:03 PM
Mistress Najef-Yoga 20 boxes of LPs has stored in office.
Posted by Fanny Najef-Yoga | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:10 PM
Jatumbo Mumkako has many many dubbed cassettes, many genres, many artists. Not classical. All classical on CD always. Some excellent scat singers, divine Betty Carter, on dubbed cassette, helas, an unfortunate accident cuts in half the divine Betty Carter recording. Excellent 1990s French drum-n'-bass and house! Lots of memories, but Mumkako unlikely buy with lots of cash again. Listen again yes! maybe, if can make work in focking machine (whirr, clikclik, griiind-stop). Quirky French-pop! Old local jambands, bad but maybe good in 2020! Good oldskool rap, KRS-1, Jazzmatazz, Company Flow, I can play none on old machine. Ninja Tunes compilations, excellent, this I can buy.
Boxes of LPs very heavy to move. Mumkako lifted LP boxes up six flights of stairs once. Was mad at LP owner. Digital music is very light. Dubbed cassettes not so heavy but shitty, take space, and laughable.
Posted by Jatumbo Mumkako | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:26 PM
I just did the lamest, lamest thing. I played eye games with this kind of actually gorgeous guy on the subway today, and I wrote him a note with my name and phone number, and handed it to him on the way out the door, and he smiled and nodded, and I just got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize and answered it without thinking and then realized after I pressed the button that it was probably him and I got really scared. So I didn't say anything for like 6 seconds and just left the phone on my bed (music was playing in the background, so he'll know the problem wasn't that he couldn't hear me), and then I just hung it up and turned the phone off really quick. i'm having trouble coming up with a plausible explanation for this that blames the phone.
Posted by Fane Yjoany Fang | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:37 PM
You could tell the truth -- "I panicked when I realized you'd actually called, but I'd like a do-over." But then you could lose some serious hand.
(Disappearance of old comments means disappearance of anathema on references to Seinfeld! Mwahaha! N.B.: Sadly, No.)
No really, why not just take the straightforward approach? "I didn't have my game face on."
Posted by Fanny Najef-Yoga | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:41 PM
I'm voting for one of three options.
1) Claiming ineptitude with the phone. I do often fumble ridiculously with the phone, particularly when I'm trying to switch between calls, and I've more than once answered a call only to drop the phone or whatever. This only works if you call him back like NOW.
2) 'Fessing up to being scared. It has the advantage of being honest, which, you know, is the best policy. It has the disadvantage of making you seem like hardcore and adventurous. But how adventurous, by NYC standards, are you really? Think Craigslist, mind you...
3) Chalk it all up to experience and what you might do next time. There are lots of gorgeous guys in the subway, and there are lots of gorgeous guys in less impersonalized spaces, as well. Practice can at least make for less spastic.
Posted by Jatumbo Mumkako | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:45 PM
I *already* used my charmingly inept routine in my note. I apologized for being too shy too keep eye contact. I am even lamely bad at eye games. I feel like hanging up and turning my phone off spills into no longer charming awkwardness territory.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:46 PM
I think if you call back right away it can still be charmingly inept. He probably won't be less annoyed if you call him back than if you don't.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:48 PM
I turned my phone back on and I have no message. Does that change things?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:51 PM
2) Is my favorite of these, for Mumkakian reasons. The oldest guy you know® thinks it would be sexy.
Posted by Pay Dontay | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:52 PM
I feel like hanging up and turning my phone off spills into no longer charming awkwardness territory.
That might depend on what he considers to be charming and awkward. You did it, so you've got to deal with whatever that might mean about you. Don't prejudge his reactions. I mean, seriously: he's still a random schmuck on the subway at this point. You might as well be honest with him because there is absolutely nothing to lose at this point.
I have never, ever dared even flirt with the guys I lusted after on the subway; you're doing FINE in the ballsy department. And I suspect that the guy who called you might not be behaving entirely within his norms, either.
So: text him with something like "OMG, suddenly v. shy, email me here."
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:54 PM
I don't think so. I mean, if it were me it would have taken me a reasonable amount of deep breathing just to make the phone call, and when that goofy-ass stuff happened I would have at the very least needed some more deep breathing before trying again. Or I might have figured, "Damn, she's regretting it, I don't want to call again because that's pathetic." We do have this fact, that he did want to call you the first time. Would flaky behavior on the phone make him change his mind? Then the hell with him.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:55 PM
Disappearance of old comments means disappearance of anathema on references to Seinfeld!
They'll be back, and it won't take long.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:56 PM
Well, I called him, using the dropped my phone story with a twist of ran out of batteries, and he answered, but it turns out his English is not so good. Feeling too tired to deal with a phone conversation with a non fluent English speaker, I told him it was a little late for me and I would call him back tomorrow. Now I have to figure out what I'll say tomorrow, but I don't feel like dealing with non-fluent English even for a fling. The trouble with subway eye games as mate selection...sigh.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:56 PM
"I don't think so" responding to "Does that change things?" But I like Jack's text idea. Assuming he's textable.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:57 PM
Never mind.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 8:58 PM
Thanks for all the advice though!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:00 PM
Though now I'm wondering if he was just reflexively apologizing for his English. It didn't seem that bad. But eh, do I even want to fling with a non-native speaker? Not really.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:05 PM
Tia, that was a ballsy move in the first place, and I hereby crowd you Queen of the Random Flirt. Very well-played. At least the note part.
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:08 PM
Yes, props.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:11 PM
Me too. Good things should happen to someone who finds herself doing such things.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:14 PM
Nitpicking: isn't a note, with your number, to a total stranger saying that you're too shy to flirt evidence to the contrary?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:19 PM
In flirting it is often necessary to perform speech acts whose perlocution undermines their explicit content.
Posted by Fanny Najef-Yoga | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:21 PM
Subway eye games are not a very good means of mate selection, agreed. Non-native speakers aren't necessarily unworthy of a fling or two, though.
[Drifts away.]
He called you and replied to your apologetic reply call; so, he's already gorgeous, adventurous, and forgiving, to some degree. Seriously, though, I admire your boldness, but I reckon you had less than a 5% chance of meeting someone interesting on the subway. He's doing okay so far, I'd say.
And the stakes remain very very low.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:28 PM
Flirt or flirt not. There is no lie.
Posted by yoda | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:29 PM
I was too shy to *keep eye contact*, not to flirt. I do, in fact, suck at eye games. It was only a steely "get back on that horse" mentality that allowed me to play at all, and at the time of note-writing, I hadn't even allowed myself to look long enough even to be sure they were being played, though after I wrote it I was sure, because he was basically looking straight at me, probably because he'd seen me take pen to paper, and knew what I was up to. But suck at eye games, I do. I'm much better at note writing.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:29 PM
What is his native language? I'd say, if his English sounded good to you, Tia, then you could have a lovely time teaching him some more advanced "vocabulary words."
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:31 PM
I don't know. He's black, first name Ishmael. I didn't recognize his accent. Anyone have a guess? Anyway, I don't think I feel like flinging anyway. I'd rather see people with relationship potential.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:34 PM
(and relationship potential=flawless speaker of English)
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:34 PM
Jonathan Franzen took notes on me on the train once. I was all, "Fucker, this shit's under copyright."
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:35 PM
I put $5 on Ghanaian.
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:37 PM
His skin was kind of medium toned, I might mention, and I think most of the West Africans I've met have been darker. Maybe he's from the Caribbean. Ishmael seems like a likely Caribbean name.
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:40 PM
Brazilian? Cuban? Aren't the possibilities for conversation interesting enough that you'd find out?
Or was this whole note thing a self-dare, at the emotional expense of a heartbroken recent immigrant?
Posted by A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:44 PM
There was a guy in my high school who when sketching things while bored in class would occasionally look at someone very carefully as he drew in such a way as to make that someone think he was drawing them when in fact he was drawing something completely unrelated.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:50 PM
His name is Ishmael? That's so hot.
It may go nowhere. In fact, I'm guessing it will go nowhere. But I vote you give him an email-based tryout with maybe a coffee-date final round
Posted by Jatumbo Mumkako | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 9:56 PM
Did your note say "call me, Ishmael"?
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 10:19 PM
Ben is definitely the hero.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 10:24 PM
I know this guy's type. He sounds like fun, but sooner or later he'll grow grim about the mouth, knock your hat off, snuggle homosocially with his sailing buddy, find some unctuous sperm to rub his hands in, then at last become a disembodied omniscience. Don't bother.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 10:31 PM
Or "call me back, Ishamael"?
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 05-23-06 10:41 PM
Besides, I saw him first.
Posted by Queequeg | Link to this comment | 05-24-06 2:44 PM
So, um, did Taylor win?
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-24-06 5:12 PM
He won! Good triumphed!
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 05-24-06 8:11 PM