As I said in email, it would be wrong to solicit funny posts about fellow rehabees. So I'm not soliciting such funny posts. Because that would be wrong.
You have my sympathy. I would like whatever you were going to flush. Well, I guess not whatever.
My first two rehabs, which weren't entirely voluntary, forbade phone calls, letters, or visitors for three months. No sex, drugs, or violence, or even a hint, like flirting or excessive smiles or winks. Lots of KP and group. No "attitude" could be displayed to a superior outside of group, which included voice tones, sneers, raised eyebrows. You followed commands instaneously, without questions.
Group was primal. The object was to verbally hurt as badly as possible your "boss" who had been freely oppressing you all day. Most, male and female, ended up crying. Supposedly, you had no anger or pain remaining after group.
About half the people in my "house" were on shock probation. Sentenced to ten years in Texas maximums, they did six months, then surprise! Sent to rehab. Fuck it up, back to Brownsville. Half the guys had been raped.
Wow. That's got to be tricky with all of the different psychotropic drugs you've been on. Can't have been fun sorting those out with alcohol or whatever.
Hope it goes well. Let us know how you're doing when you get out.
I've been wondering but didn't want to intrude. Marking finals?
If the weird health issues FL had a couple of months ago have turned into anything scary, (A) the blog clearly has a curse on it, and (B) I quit. Or, on second thought, I suppose I don't. Quitting didn't do Ogged any good now, did it?
Seriously, send us word of what Robert Downey Jr.'s doing next. I love that guy. And make lots of good food--that'll make you popular with your roommates.
Hang tough. And here's wishing you a smart, caring health care provider *post* rehab to help you figure out the right balance of whatever you need to keep yourself healthy.
20:Always trying to bring a little sunshine and optimism.
The place was 2/3 male, 1/3 female. The vast majority in their early twenties. Nobody real hardcore, the hardcore didn't get this chance. Pills & pot, I suppose, tho it was never discussed. But it was Texas in the 70s, and that Justice system din't want no mollycoddling.
The women had it easier, in a way, they usually came straight from the courtroom. That, of course, was because they all had young children. Past and outside wasn't discussed, it was all existential and behaviorist or whatever. But the women had a confused, disoriented look that the guys didn't. The psychologist staff were mostly female, and got to play in group.
About 5% graduated. Average time: 3 years inside, 5 years outpatient. There were some couples formed, and happy endings. I never came close to graduation, in three attempts. But I remember people.
To hell with the sympathy, I'm going to straight to I hope you make this shit work and get better permanantly.
If anybody can, it'll be you. Because you have to be ultra-sharp and ultra-tough, because wow, man, if I was taking all the shit yer taking I'd fall over dead, and I have the constitution of a rhino.
So no foolin' around with trying to organize the other peeps into a revolutionary army or anything like that.
I've heard that if you chase a rhino in a jeep for five minutes, it falls over dead from adrenaline shock. Dunno if it's an urban (rural African?) legend, though; Snopes doesn't have an entry.
I want to raise the question of whether there is enough eponymousalaciousness here and in the bio etc. I only do that because, well some people are evil trolls.
I've heard that if you chase a rhino in a jeep for five minutes, it falls over dead from adrenaline shock. Dunno if it's an urban (rural African?) legend, though; Snopes doesn't have an entry.
I'm still feeling the sympathy, but: Normally when people say things here, even very private things, there's more discussion than this. People made, and then retracted, a bunch of jokes in the thread where ogged made his initial cancer announcment. So don't we want to normalize rehab into the unfogged discourse by making jokes about it?
whenever my grandmother checked into rehab, her doctor gave her a prescription to smoke cigarettes! he figured it would be too much if she had to kick that too. 3 packs a day, in the hospital! that is seriously badass. also, you guys can go on and make cock jokes now. ogged just emailed me, re the potential cursedness of the blog, that between him, me and FL losing his cock in the taxi door incident, he was starting to wonder the same thing.
gave her a prescription to smoke cigarettes
Did she have to go to a pharmacy to get it filled?
Re the Unfogged curse, surely the rehab thing was long a'comin. Can't blame Unfogged for that. (Ogged and Labs' late-lamented cock though, that's teh spooky.)
Bad moments in museum going: the Cloisters has a lovely stained glass window depicting the Circumcision of Christ. Sally: "Mom, what's the man with the knife doing to that baby?"
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenburg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the globe with a 100 foot clipper.
With the reprieve of Ogged's stomach and the apparent success of Labs's reattachment surgery you have to make this work, OK? Don't want to spoil the blog's winning streak.
Good luck.
Posted by David Weman | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:00 PM
You have my sympathy.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:01 PM
thanks! and just think, I'll have so much more free time for blogging.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:04 PM
As I said in email, it would be wrong to solicit funny posts about fellow rehabees. So I'm not soliciting such funny posts. Because that would be wrong.
Be well and happy.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:07 PM
Big sympathy, and heartfelt good wishes.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:10 PM
You have my sympathy. I would like whatever you were going to flush. Well, I guess not whatever.
My first two rehabs, which weren't entirely voluntary, forbade phone calls, letters, or visitors for three months. No sex, drugs, or violence, or even a hint, like flirting or excessive smiles or winks. Lots of KP and group. No "attitude" could be displayed to a superior outside of group, which included voice tones, sneers, raised eyebrows. You followed commands instaneously, without questions.
Group was primal. The object was to verbally hurt as badly as possible your "boss" who had been freely oppressing you all day. Most, male and female, ended up crying. Supposedly, you had no anger or pain remaining after group.
About half the people in my "house" were on shock probation. Sentenced to ten years in Texas maximums, they did six months, then surprise! Sent to rehab. Fuck it up, back to Brownsville. Half the guys had been raped.
Posted by bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:18 PM
Best of luck and good wishes.
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:26 PM
Sympathy.
Posted by teofilo | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:28 PM
Best of luck, alameida.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:32 PM
Wow. That's got to be tricky with all of the different psychotropic drugs you've been on. Can't have been fun sorting those out with alcohol or whatever.
Hope it goes well. Let us know how you're doing when you get out.
Posted by Bostoniangirl Bostoniangir | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:39 PM
Good luck. Hope rehab provides some good stories to tell us.
Posted by Protagoras | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:45 PM
Good luck, and hope you emerge ox-eyed and rosy-fingered.
Posted by dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:47 PM
I am not so scrupulous as LizardBreath. I want stories. And you get sympathy.
So tell the truth, Alameida, are you a love addict?
Posted by Tia | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:49 PM
This comment constitues a manifestation of sympathy.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 6:56 PM
Jesus, this blog. Does anyone know if Unf is still alive?
Good luck, B.
Posted by Mike | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:04 PM
I'll have to address my love addiction later.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:10 PM
Good luck. Be well and be blessed.
Where is FL?
Posted by md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:14 PM
I've been wondering but didn't want to intrude. Marking finals?
If the weird health issues FL had a couple of months ago have turned into anything scary, (A) the blog clearly has a curse on it, and (B) I quit. Or, on second thought, I suppose I don't. Quitting didn't do Ogged any good now, did it?
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:18 PM
Quitting didn't do Ogged any good now, did it?
We can't really know, since access to the other worlds in the possibluum is denied to us.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:21 PM
Half the guys had been raped.
It isn't a party unless McManus shows up.
Seriously, send us word of what Robert Downey Jr.'s doing next. I love that guy. And make lots of good food--that'll make you popular with your roommates.
Be well, my dear.
Posted by Paul | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:22 PM
Good luck, Alameida. And congrats on doing what needs to be done.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:22 PM
Yes, good luck.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:29 PM
Best wishes, and sympathy.
Posted by eb | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:29 PM
All the best, Alam. May your spirits stay elevated. My Rx is copious amounts of chocolate and ice cream.
While you are away, we will remember you with cries of Osama! Osama! Osama!
Posted by Michael | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:30 PM
Operation Cleveland is a go!
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:33 PM
I'm realizing that my vision of rehab comes from the Sandra Bullock movie.
Posted by ac | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:37 PM
Hang tough. And here's wishing you a smart, caring health care provider *post* rehab to help you figure out the right balance of whatever you need to keep yourself healthy.
Posted by Witt | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:42 PM
20:Always trying to bring a little sunshine and optimism.
The place was 2/3 male, 1/3 female. The vast majority in their early twenties. Nobody real hardcore, the hardcore didn't get this chance. Pills & pot, I suppose, tho it was never discussed. But it was Texas in the 70s, and that Justice system din't want no mollycoddling.
The women had it easier, in a way, they usually came straight from the courtroom. That, of course, was because they all had young children. Past and outside wasn't discussed, it was all existential and behaviorist or whatever. But the women had a confused, disoriented look that the guys didn't. The psychologist staff were mostly female, and got to play in group.
About 5% graduated. Average time: 3 years inside, 5 years outpatient. There were some couples formed, and happy endings. I never came close to graduation, in three attempts. But I remember people.
This ain't no party, this ain't no disco...
Posted by bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:46 PM
You have my best wishes. Be strong.
Posted by benton | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 7:59 PM
Best of luck, alameida! I hardly knew ye (though I could start reading through the archives)
Posted by JAC | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 8:04 PM
Best wishes and good luck, Alameida. I hope the funny posts will come of their own accord, unsolicited.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 8:17 PM
best wishes, alameida. good for you for doing it.
Posted by mcmc | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 8:23 PM
Good luck to you.
Here or there, if I may ask?
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 8:32 PM
Best wishes.
Posted by rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 8:45 PM
Mysterious good luck, Alameida.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 8:48 PM
I want sympathy.
To hell with the sympathy, I'm going to straight to I hope you make this shit work and get better permanantly.
If anybody can, it'll be you. Because you have to be ultra-sharp and ultra-tough, because wow, man, if I was taking all the shit yer taking I'd fall over dead, and I have the constitution of a rhino.
So no foolin' around with trying to organize the other peeps into a revolutionary army or anything like that.
ash
['Good luck.']
Posted by ash | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 8:55 PM
I'll be thinking of you and you have my sympathy too.
Posted by Michelle | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 9:31 PM
Wow, that's a big deal. I really hope it works out.
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 9:34 PM
>We can't really know, since access to the other worlds in the possibluum is denied to us.
Sez you, Ben Wolfson.
Sympathy, Alameida.
Posted by Brad DeLong | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 9:38 PM
Good luck with everything, A.
For the record, FL is alive and well.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 9:56 PM
Best of luck, A.
Posted by Doug | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 10:08 PM
how mysterious. best of luck Miz Alameida.
Posted by mike d | Link to this comment | 06-11-06 10:34 PM
good luck
Posted by joe o | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 1:15 AM
I have the constitution of a rhino
I've heard that if you chase a rhino in a jeep for five minutes, it falls over dead from adrenaline shock. Dunno if it's an urban (rural African?) legend, though; Snopes doesn't have an entry.
Posted by NBarnes | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 4:39 AM
Good luck, and also sympathy.
Posted by mrh | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 6:36 AM
Wishing you the best, Alameida.
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 7:01 AM
Eek. Sorry to hear it, A.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 7:22 AM
Wow. I wish you the very best. Courage!
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 7:45 AM
the temptation to say something irresponsible is becoming almost palpable.
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 8:23 AM
So succumb.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 8:24 AM
Rehab is for quitters.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 8:29 AM
Best of wishes and luck, alameida. Let us know how you're doing, even if there aren't any good stories attached thereto.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 8:36 AM
You know, like FL did in 40.
Thanks FL, glad to hear it!
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 8:38 AM
I want to raise the question of whether there is enough eponymousalaciousness here and in the bio etc. I only do that because, well some people are evil trolls.
Posted by benton | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 8:39 AM
I've heard that if you chase a rhino in a jeep for five minutes, it falls over dead from adrenaline shock. Dunno if it's an urban (rural African?) legend, though; Snopes doesn't have an entry.
In Africa, the rhino chases you.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 8:42 AM
Thanks for commenting, benton. This was about to turn into another one of those damned M/tch threads.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 8:44 AM
Hey, good luck!
Posted by moira | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 9:09 AM
I'm still feeling the sympathy, but: Normally when people say things here, even very private things, there's more discussion than this. People made, and then retracted, a bunch of jokes in the thread where ogged made his initial cancer announcment. So don't we want to normalize rehab into the unfogged discourse by making jokes about it?
I don't know any good rehab jokes.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 9:44 AM
whenever my grandmother checked into rehab, her doctor gave her a prescription to smoke cigarettes! he figured it would be too much if she had to kick that too. 3 packs a day, in the hospital! that is seriously badass. also, you guys can go on and make cock jokes now. ogged just emailed me, re the potential cursedness of the blog, that between him, me and FL losing his cock in the taxi door incident, he was starting to wonder the same thing.
Posted by alameida | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 9:54 AM
FL losing his cock in the taxi door incident
The precious!
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 10:04 AM
Sympathy plus epsilon, for luck.
Posted by Halfway Done | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 10:04 AM
How is that Afghani smack, Alameida? I hear the stuff on the front is pretty sweet.
Posted by Paul | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 10:09 AM
gave her a prescription to smoke cigarettes
Did she have to go to a pharmacy to get it filled?
Re the Unfogged curse, surely the rehab thing was long a'comin. Can't blame Unfogged for that. (Ogged and Labs' late-lamented cock though, that's teh spooky.)
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 10:27 AM
Ogged and Labs' late-lamented cock though
Didn't know they shared one, didja?
Hah!
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 10:29 AM
A picture.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 10:30 AM
The Flash?! That suggests that it's FL and ash who share a cock.
Posted by Anthony | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 10:33 AM
it's FL and ash who share a cock.
Mine, specifically.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 12:29 PM
Say it ain't so, 'Po!
Posted by The Modesto Kid | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 12:34 PM
Well, just the once.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 12:36 PM
it's FL and ash who share a cock.
Mine, specifically.
Did you use the "one cuts it, the other gets first choice" rule?
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 1:18 PM
Bad moments in museum going: the Cloisters has a lovely stained glass window depicting the Circumcision of Christ. Sally: "Mom, what's the man with the knife doing to that baby?"
Luckilly Newt didn't notice.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 1:21 PM
Wait, if I go into rehab I can smoke again without guilt? I'm going to have to develop an addiction, quick.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 1:31 PM
I'm going to have to develop an addiction, quick.
Try love.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 1:34 PM
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenburg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of the blood. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the globe with a 100 foot clipper.
Posted by history expert | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 1:35 PM
I can smoke again without guilt?
You don't have to smoke, you know.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 1:42 PM
Sending sympathy your way.
Take good care and get better soon.
Posted by Mary Catherine Moran | Link to this comment | 06-12-06 9:59 PM
59: whenever my grandmother checked into rehab
I'd just like to point out that this is one hell of a way to start a sentence.
Hope the rehab goes well, O Mysterious One.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 06-13-06 1:48 PM
With the reprieve of Ogged's stomach and the apparent success of Labs's reattachment surgery you have to make this work, OK? Don't want to spoil the blog's winning streak.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06-13-06 2:18 PM