13: I'm afraid RPS25 has logical flaws of its own. How does Bowl defeat Water by "containing" it? Doesn't Water want to be in one place so it won't just dribble away? Why is Sponge cleaning Gun a bad thing for the Gun? Makes no damn sense.
For which they can charge $150 per hour for paralegals to arrange in chronological order in tabbed black binders. And then copy. And then rearrange by topic. With cross-references.
This is what you get with lifetime appointments. It's like that 7th Circuit opinion (originally seen at Saiselgy's) in U.S. v. Murphy [pdf] that gives Ludacris a shout-out in a footnote on the second page:
The trial transcript quotes Ms. Hayden as saying Murphy called her a snitch bitch “hoe.” A “hoe,” of course, is a tool used for weeding and gardening. We think the court reporter, unfamiliar with rap music (perhaps thankfully so), misunderstood Hayden’s response. We have taken the liberty of changing “hoe” to “ho,” a staple of rap music vernacular as, for example, when Ludacris raps “You doin’ ho activities with ho tendencies.”
Wow. This tops the ruling from a case in D.C. a few years ago in which the judge (also federal, thus basically untouchable) concluded a ruling on a similar pretrial motion with, "and it is further hereby ordered that the parties lighten up."
Back in the veldt, the Weinertribe was wiped out when the neighboring tribe developed pointy metal weapons and ye, they said, Let us go for rock, for rocks are better in mayhem.
But the children of the SCISSORS did pwn, and snipped...
I think it's clearly going around the legal world, because I met a friend (at another firm) for drinks this evening and she was like "Dude, there was this case in Florida..." and I was like "wait! I know this one!"
No. fucking. way.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:30 PM
Go with the avalanche! The avalanche!
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:33 PM
This is an easy one. Throw rock; it beats everything.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:34 PM
I love it.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:35 PM
I wonder if either attorney is going to try and bring in a ringer?
Posted by JAC | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:35 PM
3: That's the avalanche, but paper beats rock.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:37 PM
Does one (1) game of Rock, Paper, Scissors mean one game = one round, or one game=up to three rounds, first to win two rounds takes it.
Also, if you've never played drinking Rock, Paper, Scissors you haven't lived.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:37 PM
2, 5: Damn! Pipped by Apostropher!
Posted by JAC | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:38 PM
6: Like hell! Rock squishes paper.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:38 PM
9: Yeah, whoever created this game must never have used a paperweight.
Posted by JAC | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:39 PM
Paper covers rock.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:44 PM
There is only one force that can defeat Rock, and it is Bigger Rock. But no, that is merely a legend... spoken of only in whispers.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:45 PM
Anyhow, the standard three-option game is for wusses.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:45 PM
Pen missile!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:45 PM
Yeah, but logicallly that's kind of stupid, as covering a rock with paper doesn't actually damage the rock in any way.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:46 PM
Covering Rock only makes Rock cozy and warm, strengthening Rock for the battle to come.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:47 PM
15 to 11, obviously.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:48 PM
16: Rocks are impervious to cold. Well, maybe really extreme cold, but in that case, a piece of paper won't help.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:50 PM
Pen missile!
Just in case there's some sad soul who didn't see it the first time around.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:50 PM
Mounds and mounds of paper sit on my desk, covering rock and making it completely unusable because you can't find it.
Packing tape! Rawr! Packing tape beats rock!
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:50 PM
This is a good example of what's known as the Bart S. fallacy:
Lisa's brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes `rock'.
Bart's brain: Good ol' `rock'. Nuthin' beats that!
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:51 PM
13: I'm afraid RPS25 has logical flaws of its own. How does Bowl defeat Water by "containing" it? Doesn't Water want to be in one place so it won't just dribble away? Why is Sponge cleaning Gun a bad thing for the Gun? Makes no damn sense.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:53 PM
NO! Water wants to run downhill.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:54 PM
Hard drive beats paper.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:55 PM
21: But nothing SHOULD beat that! It's the WORLD that's mad - the WORLD I say!
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:55 PM
World beats rock.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:57 PM
LizardBreath, having litigated against someone from your firm, I have to ask: were you all counsel in this case?
Posted by Idealist | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:58 PM
In my version of RPS, you're allowed to play entropy, but you'll have to wait a couple of eons before you win.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 3:58 PM
26: Really Big Rock beats World.
Posted by strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:01 PM
Water and rock, though, beat hard drive.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:02 PM
27: I don't actually know -- it got emailed around the firm, but that doesn't mean it was us. Could have been.
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:04 PM
If you cover rock, you negate it.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:09 PM
Since it's attorneys competing, I'm pretty sure they're both going to keep choosing paper.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:13 PM
Since it's attorneys competing, I'm pretty sure they're both going to keep choosing paper.
Wind not being one of the available choices.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:16 PM
Paper. More paper. Bankers' boxes of paper!
Posted by LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:16 PM
Did anyone else play "Paper, Rock, Scissors, with torture" growing up, or was that just me?
Posted by Jckmormon | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:18 PM
^ a
Definitely rings a bell, J-Mo.
Posted by Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:38 PM
Paper. More paper. Bankers' boxes of paper!
For which they can charge $150 per hour for paralegals to arrange in chronological order in tabbed black binders. And then copy. And then rearrange by topic. With cross-references.
Posted by Idealist | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 4:43 PM
I'm amused that Sponge seems to beat Nuke. Did any one else see the episode of That 70s Show where they played Foot, Cockroach, Nuclear Bomb?
Posted by mrh | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 5:29 PM
19: Wow. Thank you apostropher - I was that sad soul. I just laughed so hard I had to change my underwear.
Posted by Dr. Oops | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 5:55 PM
I had to change my underwear.
You'll find this happens a lot at the Mineshaft.
Me, I stopped wearing underwear around here ages ago.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 6:22 PM
M/tch is Porky Piggin' it.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 6:28 PM
Who said anything about wearing a shirt?
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 6:56 PM
Th-tha, th-tha, th-that'll be enough of that!
Saddam seems an ideal comic villain; anybody remember his appearance in The Dude's drug dream in The Big Lebowski?
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 7:26 PM
This is what you get with lifetime appointments. It's like that 7th Circuit opinion (originally seen at Saiselgy's) in U.S. v. Murphy [pdf] that gives Ludacris a shout-out in a footnote on the second page:
Being a judge would be fun.
Posted by Matt F | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 8:10 PM
45: It's widely assumed (by me) that the footnote was written by a clerk and the judge didn't care to take it out.
Posted by washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 9:59 PM
46: Exactly how wide are you?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 7-06 10:01 PM
Wow. This tops the ruling from a case in D.C. a few years ago in which the judge (also federal, thus basically untouchable) concluded a ruling on a similar pretrial motion with, "and it is further hereby ordered that the parties lighten up."
Posted by Lex | Link to this comment | 06- 8-06 10:44 AM
Do Guardian journalists read Unfogged?
(Apologies if this has already been picked up on a later thread; I haven't had time to read them all.)
Posted by Andrew John | Link to this comment | 06- 8-06 9:16 PM
"When people take rock, paper, scissors into their own hands, mayhem can occur."
You should probably go for rock then, as it leaves you in best position for the ensuing mayhem.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 8-06 9:19 PM
Back in the veldt, the Weinertribe was wiped out when the neighboring tribe developed pointy metal weapons and ye, they said, Let us go for rock, for rocks are better in mayhem.
But the children of the SCISSORS did pwn, and snipped...
never mind.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 06- 8-06 9:32 PM
I think it's clearly going around the legal world, because I met a friend (at another firm) for drinks this evening and she was like "Dude, there was this case in Florida..." and I was like "wait! I know this one!"
But I didn't get any email about it.
Posted by silvana | Link to this comment | 06- 8-06 9:42 PM
I think it's pretty well known that I'm Jewish, Cala.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 06- 8-06 9:47 PM
You don't look Druish.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 06- 8-06 10:14 PM
Don't go for rocks. Rocks is the new sucks.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 06- 8-06 10:23 PM