Re: Holy Matrimony

1

So what is the deal with the convergence between the skinny, ill-groomed loser and super-stud archetypes. Kid Rock, like Kevin Federline, looks like he should be huffing glue in the Rite-Aid parking lot. These are the gys for whom "no shirt, no shoes, no service" was invented. How do they sit atop the alpha male heirarchy?

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I say seventeen months.

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1: With a big grin and a T-shirt that says, "Eat it, suckas!"

Of course, wait a few years, and they'll be bagging groceries like Kurt Warner. Without the brief comeback.

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I see no evidence that Kid Rock and Kevin Federline sit atop the alpha male hierarchy.

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I have to agree with noted ninny Teofilo on this one. There's no way that marrying Pam Anderson puts you atop the hierarchy; she's a cartoon character. Insofar as your woman gives you status, I'd figure that the most status-conferring women are like JFK Jr.'s wife: thin, stylish, blonde, urban, moneyed, maybe haughty (I bracket questions of whether she was addicted to cocaine).

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Then again, baa, I should consider that you're a big fan of professional wrestling, and so your peers are fourteen years old, and to them, Pam Anderson is the perfect woman. In that case, you should consider that for most fourteen year-olds, the perfect life is one of dissolution, sloth, and sticking it to the man, which K-Fed and Kid Rock seem to have perfected.

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well, obviously Clooney and WJC are higher on the alpha male hierarchy than K-fed and kid rock. The latter, actually, seems to be on top of the STD vector pyramid. But look, has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?

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8

Yeah, Pamela Anderson isn't really a status symbol. She is, however, a publicity magnet.

I actually feel sad about this wedding. Given her history with Tommy Lee, seeing those pics made me think, poor Pam. She *does* seem like a nice person, and yet she keeps marrying these assholes....

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has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock?

I take your point here. I can't think of one. I guess Axl Rose was pretty skanky, but not as skanky. I can't help but think that Sayyid Qutb addresses this somewhere.

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Clooney and WJC

I googled WJC and came up with World Jewish Congress, which I can only assume is the previously-theorized international body which elects the Head Jew, and clearly belongs in the Mel Gibson discussion you people never had (which broke my heart. The first human being outside of a Mickey Spillane novel to unironically use the expression "sugar tits" and he goes almost completely overlooked here).

has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock? Is not the skankyness of male stars increasing?

In order for this to be the case, the star value of Kid Rock would have to be currently increasing.

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I assumed William Jefferson Clinton.

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William Jefferson Clinton

Also, I contest jones' second sentence. Kid Rock could be played out while it could nonetheless be obejctively the case that overall male star skankiness is on the upswing

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For that to be true you would have to name some other skanky male stars.

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14

Following the link, I was surprised to learn that Kid Rock is still alive. I had always pictured him dead in a ditch somewhere, his lifeless hand still clutching a can of Miller Lite.

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Exactly; Kid Rock is not a trend.

Also: Clinton gets initialed now? Since when?

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Everyone on Jackass. Also, Vince Vaughn is sorta skanky.

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has there ever been as clearly skanky a male celeb as kid rock?

Gary Glitter?

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18

the perfect life is one of dissolution, sloth, and sticking it to the man, which K-Fed and Kid Rock seem to have perfected

"Sticking it to the man" s/b "sticking it to the Pam."

And isn't Ogged's summary of the perfect life a lot like Conan's?

"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women."

Well, they're not mutually exclusive, though certainly not precisely parallel.

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19

Is Jackass still on? And Vince Vaughn is nowhere near as skanky as Kid Rock.

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20

I spend most of my time in a dark, wood paneled room drinking bourbon. So I'm not so much up on the youth culture. But seriously, would people deny: male stars of 00s more skanky than male stars of the 80s? I admit to impoverished data here, but that is my impression. I would welcome a qunatitatively rigorous rebuttal.

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I believe the burden of proof lies on you here, baa.

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This is one of those discussions that makes me feel pretty good about being culturally clueless.

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23

baa's totally right about this. Vince Vaughn, that guy who's dating Petra Nemcova, and some other people I'll think of in like thirty seconds.

The K-Fed/Britney thing just makes me cry.

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look, I'm not trying to get this published in Cell. it's just a (strong) impression I have. Do you actually think this impression is wrong, or is it just "verdict not proven?"

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The apparent continued success of Nickleback leads me to this world-historical statement: I agree with baa. Standards of attractiveness for male rock stars have plummeted.

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David Arquette is pretty skanky, as is the Butterscotch Stallion. Didn't Leonardo DiCaprio go through a skanky phase? Colin Farrell: skanky!

(Note: I'm not entirely sure what we mean by "skanky" here.)

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Yes! Vindication!

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Nickleback! Precisely! That guy wiould have trouble getting served at Chili's.

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The American girl is well acquainted with her body's seductive capacity. She knows it lies in the face, and in expressive eyes, and thirsty lips. She knows seductiveness lies in the round breasts, the full buttocks, and in the shapely thighs, sleek legs -- and she shows all this and does not hide it.

Qutb must have had it rough when he visited us. I wonder what he'd've thought of Pam.

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30

I'm sticking with "not proven" for now, but I haven't devoted much time to examining trends in male celebrity grooming and appearance.

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31

Does Ashton Kutcher count? God, he needs to be punched in the cock.

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32

Okay, seriously, is Colin Farrell skanky in the same way Kid Rock is?

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33

Ogged, you dick, the B-Stallion is not skanky.

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That guy who is dating Petra Nemcova

Holy smokes! Labs ain't kidding. This is clam-eats-lion level violation of the great chain of being.

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I don't understand -- what are we basing these doom and gloom predictions on? 'Cos the dude doesn't have a shirt? Isn't that a bit classist? My understanding was that they've been seeing each other for a while now, and this isn't one of those whirlwind marriage things.

And quite frankly, for the dudes that look like and listen to Kid Rock, doing Pamela Anderson DOES put you at the top of the male heirarchy. And Clooney and JFK Jr. are metrosexual weenies and their women are stuck up anorexics.

I'm not saying this is what I think -- but you've got to re-frame your value judgements for the appropriate audience. And I do know these people (here's a hint: Wedding Reception = Grilled hot dogs + Van Halen Karaoke in backyrard + Mullets).

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Labs, you ass-muncher, there may be many paths to the waterfall, but they're all dirty.

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>Isn't that a bit classist

Yes! And accurate.

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38

Gary Glitter?

Can one be skanky and glam at the same time? Gary Glitter is maybe what skank might have evolved into in some distant, fauxtopian future of skeevy robots and sketchy flying cars.

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39

Teo, you decide.

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40

cancer is no excuse for dropping pronouns, Ogged.

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41

Calling Gary Glitter "skanky" is a bit unfair to skank, is it not?

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42

We need a working definition of skanky, because Owen Wilson doesn't seem close at all.

One test, for me, is if I can imagine the subject looking elegant, or if being dressed formally merely makes him look like more of a tool.

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43

Are we seriously asking this question?

The 80s LA Hair Metal Scene? (Seriously, Nikki Six blows Kid Rock away)

The 90s grunge scene? (aka sweaty guys in flannel doing heroin and puking--Layne Staley, etc.)

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39: Okay, I'm coming round to baa's side here.

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45

Gary Glitter is maybe what skank might have evolved into in some distant, fauxtopian future of skeevy robots and sketchy flying cars.

No, the kiddy porn problem really brings him back down to earth.

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46

If you don't look like ass with stubble, you are not skanky.

If you do look like ass with stubble, you are skank.

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47

Still, I know it when I see it. Ladies and gentleman, Pete Doherty.

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46: I think the key is whether you try to cultivate that ass-looking stubble.

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49

39 is not convincing me. See FL's test in 42.

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50

dudes, James Blunt (really? that's his name??), the dude dating Petra Nemcova (whoever she is) is not skanky. hipster-indie-slacker certaintly. Get your categories right.

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51

Orlando Bloom, in Pirates, is close to skanky, however.

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52

Ok, I think we do really need a definition of skanky. Doherty doesn't strike me as skanky, and the grunge guys were grungy, not skanky. What, o muse, is skanky?

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53

No, the kiddy porn problem really brings him back down to earth.

It's easy to say he's skanky now that we know he was into kiddie porn. But we have to make these judgments based on the context in which they were presented. Does this count, in and of itself, or is there too much reflective gold fabric involved? That's how I was approaching the question.

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54

>hipster-indie-slacker certainly

Distinction without a difference. All those emo punks are embarrasing to Western manhood no matter how you slice it.

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55

Wasn't Michael Jackson *the* pop king of the 80s?

And really, is anyone more skanky?

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56

The urban dictionary says "looking cheap, dirty and nasty." That seems accurate, but insufficiently precise.

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57

MJ is a world historical freak, and transcends skankiness by being king of the smurfs.

I think of skanky as being absolutely unlike Cary Grant. And, oddly enough, even more unlike Bogart.

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58

You can't be skanky if you're an actual pedophile. That's like calling a murderous psycopath "angry": it's true, but it dilutes the term, and quite frankly I feel "skanky" is such a word that we should all develop very similar mental pictures upon hearing it.

I personally apply the term skanky to any guy I could reasonably imagine contracted an STD from a girl whose belly was flopping out of her tube top. That is to say, a dude of questionable hygiene who oozes a perpetual indiscriminate horniness.

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59

baa, hipsters don't know what emo is. Indie kids make fun of emo kids (and hipsters). Emo kids are too busy crying to notice.

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60

And really, is anyone more skanky?

Michael Jackson isn't skanky. Michael Jackson looks like he's had any potential skankiness polished and buffed away until only The Martian remains.

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55: Or Prince. Meets the criteria for looks, but is genuinely important.

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62

Carl's definition is awesome.

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63

That's like calling a murderous psycopath "angry": it's true, but it dilutes the term

Murderous psychopathy dilutes the meaning of "angry"? This makes no sense.

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64

cheap, dirty and nasty is a great start. I'd add aggressive. Probably has an STD. Probably thinks he looks best in a wife-beater, with some tats and a small gold chain.

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65

Prince is not skanky; he's a fop.

I think that all y'all are meaning here with the term "skanky" is "(white) trash." For which there is already a perfectly good, albeit offensive, term. There is nothing skankier than paying parents to let you fuck their children.

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66

Carl nails it. Also, as midriff-baring tube tops have been increasing in frequency over the past several years, I take this as implicit proof of my supposition.

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67

I personally apply the term skanky to any guy I could reasonably imagine contracted an STD from a girl whose belly was flopping out of her tube top.

I reiterate my insistence that the LA hair metal scene was the epitome of skank, then.

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68

"perpetual indiscriminate horniness" is indeed awesome. I think this, with some of the former, constitutes a fine definition.

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69

I agree with Carl. Which means that someone like Charlie Sheen easily qualifies, despite not appearing in public with much stubble at all.

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70

"Perpetual indiscriminate horniness" describes anyone between the ages of 14 and 24. Come on.

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71

Also, as midriff-baring tube tops have been increasing in frequency over the past several years

Wait, I thought this fad kinda died? A little midriff has become the norm, but not tube tops. Thankfully.

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72

bitchphd is a skank!!

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73

70: Hey!

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74

I've had my skanky moments, yes I have.

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75

A generational translation then, is the fiance Connie Booth brings home (Michael Palin) to meet her father, (Graham Chapman). Seems to meet every criterion.

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70: I thought it pretty much defined the human condition, except that over time most of us get better at controlling it.

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73: That's okay, Teo, everyone is a little skanky.

I submit that there is something kinda gross about a bunch of people with graduate degrees in philosophy joking about white trash stereotypes.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go grab the last beer and drink it while I sit here in a white tank and white undies, my uncombed hair in a ponytail on top of my head, sweating.

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78

how did we let comment 69 go to waste in a thread about skankiness?

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79

Ah! But I submit that Charlie Sheen is subject to the following counterfactual:

If X were to grow stubble, X would indeed be a skank.

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80

I dunno, Michael, the way you wag that sweet, womanly cand of yours around at all the fellas, you might beat B out.

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81

What say we?

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82

I submit that there is something kinda gross about a bunch of people with graduate degrees in philosophy joking about white trash stereotypes.

For the love of little apples. Drink your beer and leave me to my frizzy-haired speculations. This assumes that the set of people with graduate degrees in philosophy and the set of skanks does not intersect and indeed! that is clearly not the case, though I will not name names.

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83

What say we?

Not skanky!

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84

81. virgins can't be skanks. (i'm assuming, based upon his look. is he famous? )

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85

And is Kid Rock skankier than David Lee Roth? How about Gene Simmons?

The above are not rhetorical questions.

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86

Surely there are skanky people of color? I was watching some Bollywood channel yesterday and some of those guys were def skanky.

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This assumes that the set of people with graduate degrees in philosophy and the set of skanks does not intersect

Indeed this was my point in my self-description. Plus, don't forget that some of the unfoggedariat have pictures of me naked.

Although my degree isn't in philosophy, it's in Chaucer.

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80. I'm just glad someone likes my ass.

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89

84: Lead singer for The Pogues.

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90

If he were to cultivate stubble, he would be a skank.

(Note, if you were to speculate that I have counterfactuals on the brain, you would be correct!)

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85: And what about Paul Stanley?

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86. poor black guys are skanky.

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93

Surely there are skanky people of color?

R. Kelly.

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89. -1 music nerd points for Michael.

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95

Ooh, B! One of my friends here is a Chaucer scholar. He wrote a paper about feminine desire in medieval literature (conclusion: medieval authors never talked to any actual women.)

I am trying to kill my brain with wine. It isn't working. These goddamn brain cells are surprisingly resistant.

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96

R. Kelly.

Hell yeah.

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97

Oh, Shane McGowan is the essence of skank. He must have enough money to have something rational done about his teeth, and yet he chooses not to.

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98

Shane McGowan hasn't been sober since he first had the money to do anything about his teeth.

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97: Yeah, I'm thinking our national health care ought to include some dental coverage.

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100

actually, if baa wants to despair about increasing skankiness in this world, he might go to xpeeps.com. it's totally not work safe.

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101

R. Kelly is skankiness to the Nth power. Apostropher is the hero.

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102

>if baa wants to despai

Dude, I am all about optimism re: the American experiment. Nonetheless, one should not be blind to the signs of decay inn the culture. Space in my unibomber shack is held for three lucky winners.

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98: Wouldn't you think he'd have sought out dentistry in a moment of drunken impulse sometime?

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104

Is he British? I believe Matt McG has previously explained the disdain Brits feel for us and our tooth-fixin' ways.

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105

For the anaestesia, if nothing else.

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106

Irish. My father once walked into my room as I was listening to "Fairytale of New York" just as it got to the 'You scumbag you maggot you cheap lousy faggot," bit, and asked "So is this the Satanic music I hear about?"

I said "Not really," and he wandered away.

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104: Technically MacGowan is British, I think, but I wouldn't want to tell him that.

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108

No no no no no. R Kelly is not skank. He's peed on teenage girls. That is past skank and moving into Gary Glitter territory. Come on people, a little focus.

I agree w. B somewhat -- teenagers are perpetually indiscriminately horny -- but you have to (1) be of questionable (and I mean questionable) hygiene and (2) "ooze" your indiscriminate horniness. I also think the skank threshold should be lowered with age, to give some amnesty to desperate teenage boys w/ unfortunate pubescent moustaches.

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109

Should not the threshold be raised for younger men, so that they do not meet it?

(brain: still kicking.)

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110

OK then, I submit to you: Tom Sizemore.

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111

The heat index says that we're at 85 degrees and 89% humidity and that the heat index is fucking 107. *And* I don't have a/c, so it's even hotter in this fucking house than it is outside.

I submit that in heat like this, everyone is skanky.

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112

This helps:

He also had a voice part in the video game Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

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113

Cala: I think we're saying the same thing: Lowered with Age = Raised for Youth. No?

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14: his lifeless hand still clutching a can of Miller Lite.

Kotsko, you fucking commie, have you ever been in the same state when a football game was on TV? Coors.

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111: Indeed. My roommate and I have been showering twice a day because it is just unbearable otherwise. On the plus side, I'm getting work done because my office is sort of air conditioned.

Lowered with Age = Raised for Youth. No?

Carl, I was making a bitchass nitpick, so don't worry about it. Anyone who isn't me probably doesn't have a problem with it and I know what you meant. Cf., little bitch, reasons Cala is.

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clam-eats-lion level violation

Keep this up, baa, and I'm going to boil your rabbit.

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117

McGowan is not skanky because hitting on random women at random times isn't his thing. He's a bust-out drunk.

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118

106: When my mom walked in when I was listening to the Pogues,* she said, "Is this that Pogues band?" I said, "Yes, how did you know." She said, "It sounds just like [name of Irish bar she grew up across the street from in Inwood]."

*Not a euphemism.

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119

Why America rules: I have fucking air conditioning. And in a few minutes, I'll turn on the window unit which will condition the already-conditioned air in my bedroom until it is a cool 72 degrees.

Then I will invite all my bitches over, and we will make the sheets wet listening to Keith Sweat.

Actually that last part is false.

This assumes that the set of people with graduate degrees in philosophy and the set of skanks does not intersect and indeed! that is clearly not the case, though I will not name names.

Cala, dude, name names. Or drop hints.

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*Not a euphemism.

Yes it is.

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121

Matt Weiner is a Coors man? Sweet mother of God.

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122

Yeah, well, Labs, we already know that what with your window treatments and your new sofas and your air conditioning and your gray ponytail, you're well past the point of no return.

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123

Skanky phislophers? Maybe Bransom.

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124

Skanky: Simon friggin' Blackburn, people. Let's just be honest about this.

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125

Let's just say his lays are blind-reviewed.

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126

Both my nose AND how I'm living is large, Bitch.

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127

Cripes. R-Kelly is not a skank. "Skank" implies unwashed hair. So Prince might be skanky, and any of the Jackson boys might be skanky, but R-Kelly is not.

The obvious skank indicator is, of course, Adam Morrisson's entry into the NBA. If he makes an All-Star game, we're back in the 70's (the apogee of skankiness).

Owen Wilson is, maybe, the anti-skank. How could anyone make that mistake.

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128

Do me, baby.

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129

128 to 126, as should be obvious.

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130

Seriously, Weiner, it'd be Coors Light, if it was a Coor's product. But really? Old Milwaukee Light or Busch Light.

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131

I don't know where that apostrophe came from.

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132

Good god, Matt, there is no excuse for drinking Coors. Yuengling, bro, if you need something cheap to chase away the game.

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133

Also, FL would probably find that women would take him up on the air conditioning offer. 100 freakin' degrees. This may not be global warming, but someone's got to be answering the complaints on the damn weather, and this sucks.

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Skanky is getting busy in a burger king bathroom.

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135

Let's just say his lays are blind-reviewed.

This, genius.

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136


'cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rear.

Wow. I'd forgot.

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When I think "skank" as it applies to men, my mind conjures up the image of a man I once saw wearing a T-shirt that read "I snatch kisses and kiss snatches."

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138

I'm shocked that there are no comments at all in this thread that address rap music. Movie stars and rockers aside, rappers today are over 300% skankier than they were 15 years ago.

Today:
Paul Wall
David Banner
Lil Wayne
Juelz Santana
Fat Joe

Back then:
Kool Moe Dee
Big Daddy Kane
Chubb Rock

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139

People, people. Weiner is one of our own. I'm sure that he was just correcting Kotsko on his setting of the scene; surely Matt doesn't drink Coors.

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140

Ogged, you might be right, but if you're not, we're road-tripping with intent to brutalize.

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141

What's wrong with Coors? (I prefer Bud Light, myself.)

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141 YOU FUCKING RACIST.

When I was younger everyone had to boycott Coors because the Coors family supported the Klan or something. This is why I became a republican.

You know, the burger king bathroom test seems more and more plausible...

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143

Dude, if I'm wrong, Weiner is going to have to have a long talk with the gay community of Labs and Ogged.*

*This is a euphemism.

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144

What's wrong with Coors?

Here.

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145

Further reseaarch indicates that at least at one time Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Kid Rock, so the Old Milwaukee Light/ Busch Light portion of my comment above is withdrawn.

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146

at least at one time Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Kid Rock

Source?

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147

I don't know where that apostrophe came from.

Aha!

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148

Source?

Here.

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149

Oh, that. I thought it was a taste issue, not a race issue. As I said, I prefer Bud Light.

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146: Fuck.

Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Coors Light.

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151

I'd endorse me. I'd endorse myself.

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152

Jesus, Tim. Does the $5-blowjob-at-the-bus-station gig kill all your taste buds along with your self respect?

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153

at least at one time Kid Rock had an endorsement deal with Kid Rock

On Valentine's Day, in between sobs.

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154

Y'all should cut it out right now, because I'm not going to believe that anyone drinks any kind of Coors or Bud or whatever else has been mentioned in this thread.

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153:

All by myself {sniffle}
Don't wanna be, {whimper}
All by myself {oh, god}

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156

I'd endorse myself.

Ditto that.

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157

Jonathan Davis. Greasy hair, sings for Korn, married a porn star, and named their kid Pirate. That's gotta peg pretty high on the skankometer.

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158

Pirate? That's kinda sweet. At least it's a word, rather than some strung-together syllables.

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159

Breaking News: Ogged's lucrative endorsement deal with Ogged has been terminated due to self-loathing. How will he feed his family??

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152: I don't really like beer. If I go to a bar, I know they'll have it, and it's fine. It's probably not the first one I'd go for in the grocery store, but I rarely buy beer for home consumption.

154: Didn't you tell us that you don't drink at all?

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161

I don't drink very much anymore, but back in my youth, I was a beer snob and even (embarrassing fact alert) had a beer bottle collection.

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162

don't drink at all?

Get a little Natural Ice in him and he won't shut up about the Jews.

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163

In any case, Bud Light? For the love of all that's holy man, ask the nice people at the bar what's good on tap and have that.

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164

beer bottle collection

I feel so betrayed. Goodnight, and thank you.

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165

I was a beer snob

I find that hard to believe.

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166

165: Me.

163: I used to be that guy. I always suspected that those guys came off as if they were trying to put some kind of man-crush move on the bartender. So I don't do that anymore.

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167

Nobody has to be embarrassed about anything they did in high school. Except teofilo's ex-girlfriend.

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168

Timbot, you can't let gay panic keep you from having a decent glass of beer.

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166: "What do you have that's good?"

"Lean over the bar and I'll show you."

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170

In 1999 Stanley starred in a Toronto production of Phantom of the Opera, in which he played the role of The Phantom.

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171

For future reference, Tim, Bass is always a safe call.

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172

Shyness is nice, but shyness can stop you from drinking all the beers in life that you'd like to.

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173

171: I prefer Sierra Nevada, but Bass if fine, too. Generally speaking, I like the mixed drinks.

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167: She was no longer in high school at the time.

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175

pamala anderson-canadian
neko case- not canadian

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176

What's your point, Joe?

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174: She should be ashamed of not losing it with you.

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178

Didn't Jon Davis also go all Jesus later on? That's a big tickmark on the skankometer, too. You have all the sleazy fun you want, then get Jesus to apply whiteout to all your sins.

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179

Get a little Natural Ice in him and he won't shut up about the Jews.

No, no, 'tis Natty Light that all the freshman adore.

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180

Woops, that's Brian Welch.

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181

I prefer Sierra Nevada, but Bass if fine, too.

Sierra Nevada isn't a beer, it's a brewery. It makes many fine beers.

Is no one but me a beer snob? I'm surprised.

My favorite type of beer is in winter the Baltic/imperial porter and in summer the fruit-flavored ale.

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182

Didn't Jon Davis also go all Jesus later on? That's a big tickmark on the skankometer, too.

I don't think so, he just married the porn star in 2004.

No one who played bagpipes in the high school band can be called a skank. A poser, maybe.

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183

179: See, Cala, I told you you'd like college.

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184

Sierra Nevada beers are bitter and nasty.

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185

Sierra Nevada beers are bitter and nasty.

I think by "Sierra Nevada beers" you mean "pale ales". The most popular Sierra Nevada beer is the pale ale, so that's probably the one you had.

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186

Sierra Nevada beers are bitter and nasty.

B, why disturb our pilsner-style comity with this nonsense? Is it what I said about the squirrels?

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187

I wonder if you can make beer out of squirrels.

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188

It's queer. It's Squeer™.

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189

177: Don't worry, she is.

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190

(Not that it does me much good.)

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191

Nice hoppy finish.

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192

191 to 169.

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193

I'm with b on the pale ales. Too hoppy, most of them. Bass is good though.

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194

I'm also delighted that apo remembered that story about my ex-girlfriend.

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195

I like hoppy beers, but not the Sierra Nevada, which is bitter and nasty.

On the other hand, Two-Hearted? Fabulous floral hoppy beer.

Right now, however, I'm having a Pilsner Urquell, b/c it's the last beer in the house.

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196

Maybe I'm not with b. I've never had Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

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197

What about Shiner Bock? Shiner Bock is nice beer.

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198

Never had Shiner Bock either. What's it like?

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199

199!

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200

200!

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201

184: "Sierra Nevada beers are" s/b "I am"

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202

You don't know the half of it, baby.

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203

197-8:
From the FAQ of the Shiner Bock webpage, a virtual smorgasborg of skank:

Q:I always see Shiner Bock in bottles, but I love crunching beer cans against my head. Do you make Shiner Bock in cans?

A:Yes, Shiner Bock is available in cans (and always has been)-we just sell a LOT more in bottles. You can always check with your local distributor to ask which specific stores carry Shiner Bock in cans.

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204

95% of beer in Berlin is wheat beer.

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205

Also, the skank discussion is polluted by conceptual inclarity.

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206

22 gets it exactly right.

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207

204-
And 87% of all statistics are bullshit. Googling "bullshit wheat beer statistics" results in
this
. How can one resist a title like Tucker and the Sociopathic Hooker Go to Court? Sounds like a film that Bizzaro Capra would have made. Not to mention that the sad story itself can be easily shoe-horned into this discussion on holy matrimony. A few NSFW links on that page, be forewarned. They don't call marriage an institution for nothing. (Yes an oldie, but goodie.)

OT I have a tiny piece of the Wall that I bought for 5 american dollars.

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208

oops.
i meant this.

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209

damn. third time's a charm?
workyoubitch.

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210

121, 130, 132: What is wrong with you people? I don't drink Coors. I am not a Nazi, a fratboy, or a skank. But Kid Rock drinks Coors, as evidenced by that incredibly stupid series of Coors commercials he was in that showed during every single football game during the 2004 season, I think it was. (Slogan: "Cool. Rock. Easy" or something like that.) I'm calling Homeland Security on all your asses because you are clearly Chinese spies. Jesus H.

ogged in 139, keep the faith, brother.

OK, now I see 145 etc., but you guys are already on your way to Guantanamo. Sorry.

And, Mr. 126, it's "Both how I'm living and my nose is large."

Also, despite the apparent evidence, Kissing Cigarettes is not me.

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211

Is the apparent evidence because I fucked up the link? (Coughtwicecough) Being the new kid on the block sucks. I don't know the password to anyone's tree house in this pretty how town.

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212

Is the apparent evidence because I fucked up the link?

Yes.

And, as the new kid on the block, please accept this fruit basket! (Too lazy to find the link just now, search the site for "fruit basket" using Yahoo!, Google doesn't work.)

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213

Oops. Tee hee.

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214

Not a valid fruit basket. No fruit basket has been received by K.C. His Unfogged status is still "alien".

I'm not on the Awards Committee, I'm on the Judicial Committee, so I cannot correct this error.

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215

And while you're at it, KC, help yourself to this complimentary bucket of chum.

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216

OK, official fruit basket for K.C.

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217

Never would've found it without the bucket of chum.

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218

Shouldn't he get a Sunshine Band, too?

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219

Yahoo yielded pictures of actual fruit baskets. And some japanimation stills. Clicking through archived links yielded a big dog about to give himself a shark tea bag. Which goes quite nicely, with say, a bucket of chum. You should also all be on notice that there is a company out there called Glory Hole Chum Buckets.

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220

Fruit basket.

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221

shark tea bag

Be not deceived. That is the one true fruit basket.

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222

218- I had a Sunshine Band, but they hit the Road, and I stayed to mind the farm. Also, ever since I was tea-bagged by Jabberjaw, I've been a she. I would however love to meet the straight man who is comfortable handling himself [sic] as Kissing Cigarettes.

220- Thank you kindly for the basket! It will go well with my case.

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223

I might sulk now, I never got a fruit basket.

I suppose I didn't bring any baked goods though, better rectify that. My father is in fact The Last Danish Pastry, I think I'll offer him

Also, Pete Doherty is probably the epitome of British skank. James Blunt isn't - too posh, and he definitely has clean underwear on every day. Shane MacGowan - I'd say he was too drunk for the requisite horniness. I've been getting Kid Rock confused with Ad-Rock too.

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224

I've been getting Kid Rock confused with Ad-Rock too.

Sorry you didn't receive your fruit basket. Will you accept a banning in its place?

BANNED! BANNED! ASILON IS SO BANNED!

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225

JHC. Talk about attack of the killer tomatoes.

And Ad-Rock is so, so, so hot. And a competitive Scrabble player too. He can clear my rack any day of the week.

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226

You're right about Doherty, though, that blood-drawing/shooting up the passed-out girl is so skanky. Unless it's too far over the line into sleazy/just plain evil. Also MacGowan; Emerson got that right in 117.

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227

I went to high school with his cousin (or possibly the cousin of a different Beastie Boy, but I think it was Horowitz.)

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228

I bow to Emerson's superior knowledge (or advantageous time zone). Thanks for the banning, I'm touched.

I always liked MCA best when I was a Beastie Boys fan. (And even if I didn't, KC sounds quite scary, I'm not fighting her/him/it for the King Ad-Rock.)

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229

Kissing, I too thought of you as male. I think it was the Tucker Max link.

(Hey, unclosed link tags have really weird effects on preview.)

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230

I would however love to meet the straight man who is comfortable handling himself [sic] as Kissing Cigarettes.

Labs?

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231

KC must be banned, because her handle makes me want to smoke.

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232

228- It's all bravado. I was born with two X's, I'll die that way.
Though I do tend to romanticize the whole Platonian/Origin of Love/Hedwig thing a bit to the extreme. I don't mind being thought of as scary, or as he/she/it, as long as I'm never ordinary. Then again, how ordinary is it to wish one wasn't so?

LizardBreath, I don't know you, but I love you. Because you named yourself LizardBreath.

And MW, thanks for the heads up about the preview appearance of links.

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233

But BPHD I beg your humblest pardon. Don't ban me for my addiction. Anyway, it was Your Blog brought me here. Forgive a clumsy KC. I'll change my handle to Fucking Ecstasy if you like?

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234

231 - "." s/b " pole."

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235

Aw, shucks.

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236

I actually assumed KC was a woman.

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237

Has my Unfogged status been officially upgraded from Alien to Woman? I thought I'd have to post on here for at least a week before that would happen! MW? What say you?

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238

Dude, you can be an insider around here for years without chosing a gender -- while occasional lewdness is semi-required, a fixed gender perspective from which to perpetrate it is not.

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239

AWWWWW-- My last post resulted in a happy fun page picture of a witty bitty kitty kat. Getting my Woman on now, ain't I? Or at least my Little Girl. Grrrl. Whatever.

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240

You're not fooling anybody, KC.

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241

Ha, ha. Got you. I'm only forty FOUR. Sucka.

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242

you people have it wrong regarding skanky beers. The worst is Steel Reserve. It has a slighly higher alcohol content (6%), is as cheap as they come, and I'd actually rather drink Natural Light.

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243

Back to baa's theory about the skanky inheriting the earth (or at least inheriting the legendary blondes of the Hollywood), I give you:

Cisco Adler
flanked by Daryll Hannah and Mischa Barton, the latter of whom he appears to be dating,

and Richie Sambora, who has bedded both Heather Locklear and Denise Richards (pictured). I don't think Sambora has always been so skanky, but his look is definitely growing closer to "ungroomed redneck" than "hott rocker."

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244

Skanky is blue-collar decadence. It's definitely a classist term. You can't be skanky unless you're trailer trash.

Skankiness in male sex symbols is on the march because more white trash folks have hit the big time. This is good for the nation; it democratizes our sinful ways. Paris Hilton is interesting -- she's both decadent (upper class) and skanky (lower class).

The Cary Grant sex symbol ideal is an upper-class emblem of grace; nothing democratic about him. And how sexy is he? I can't possibly believe Cary Grant had a dick.

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245

Ugh, my links/pics didn't work.

Cisco Adler

Richie Sambora

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246

You can't be skanky unless you're trailer trash.

I disagree.

Brandon Davis exudes skank, despite being born into wealth. It's an ungroomed thing. Or an "I would wear a trucker hat and still think I look good" thing.

And I could totally imagine Cary Grant's having a dick. I understand he had bad breath as well.

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