Re: Be it resolved: 'Sexyback' is the single of the year

1

I'm sorry, but no.

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Um, no.

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It's not bad, though. It would be much easier to hate Timberlake if the pop were worse. Not as good as Cry Me a River, which, from the perspective of the K-Fed era, seems as tragic as King Lear.

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The video. Not bad. Better than Pet Sounds, anyway.

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What is it with you, FL? First you defend "My Humps", now this? Remind me never to hire you as a DJ.

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Ogged, do you like "Wouldn't It Be Nice" by the beach boys, or are you soulless, in addition to being a communist pervert?

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"Wouldn't It Be Nice" ties in well to the teenage sex theme we've had lately.

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I just listened to "My Humps," which is catchy, in its way, but "lady lumps" is one of the most awful phrases imaginable.

Running dog baa, the first twenty seconds of "Wouldn't It Be Nice" are fine, then, homicide.

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I would have thought that "Wouldn't It Be Nice" would be redeemed in the eyes and ears of communist preverts by its inclusion in a Michael Moore film.

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Ok, now you've confused me. If you like the basic hook of "wouldn't it be nice," shouldn't you like the whole song? Admittedly, the slow sections are (much) weaker, but like most pop the main hook just is the song.

Here's a question: what is the person from whom or setting in which the phrase "lady lumps" would be sexy, as opposed to immediately inducing impotence?

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Baa, you clearly don't have children. It's not at all unusual for a child to do something that amuses for twenty seconds, and inspires thoughts of murderous rage after that. Plus, they come in with that wuss-boy harmony shit.

what is the person from whom or setting in which the phrase "lady lumps" would be sexy, as opposed to immediately inducing impotence?

I can't imagine.

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It's not at all unusual for a child to do something that amuses for twenty seconds, and inspires thoughts of murderous rage after that.

It's not unusual for adults to do this. In fact, I think you've just described cable news.

I find myself still struggling to place your musical tastes. How do you feel about the Go Gos -- We Got the Beat, e.g.?

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That's because I'm cagey!

Here's Belinda Carlisle singing Wouldn't It Be Nice. I only know the Go Gos's hits, but I like 'em.

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no. i thought promiscous girl already took this honor.

although, the jt dance moves are totally droolable.

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Ogged, you don't like Pet Sounds? Jesus. I guess you can only go so far with good taste if you're crippled by being Iranian. At least you don't drive a BMW.

Do you?

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It's a white mercedes with gold trim, I believe.

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Maybe it was during your bannage, B.

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baa knows too many Iranians.

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What's with the BMW hating? Out of my range currently, but BMW really knows how to build a car.

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What's with the BMW hating?

It's a lot of work educating the newbies.

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Driving BMWs is apparently stereotypically Iranian. There's a post on this somewhere.

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Ah. A problem that seems easily solved by assuming a Mexican name.

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And is the BMW stereotypically Iranian? I would have guessed same as baa. All the Middle Easterners I knew back in L.A. growing up seemed big on the Mercedes.

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My dad used to drive BMWs.

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I'm beginning to talk out of my ass a little bit here, but the older Iranians totally go for Mercedes, but I think the younger ones like Beemers.

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My grandfather had a Mercedes.

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And I thought I was out of touch. Oh, look, a thread arguing about Pet Sounds. Next up: is Paul dead?

Also, "Promiscuous Girl" kind of sucks. I heard NF talking about the song in an interview before I actually heard it, and she was all "it's because I'm musically promiscuous" and I thought, well, that's sort of an interesting idea, and then I heard the song and it was teh boring and teh phoned-in.

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Alert: don't read the linked post in 20 without reading the comment thread. It's brilliant.

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I don't think I'm Iranian.

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Also, "Promiscuous Girl" kind of sucks

Thank you! Although, what with the endorsement of 'My Humps' this may count as a Devil quotes scripture moment. The decline of Nellie Furtado is so depressing I don't even like to think about it.

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Next up: is Paul dead?

Hmm, it has been quite a while since I've gotten an epistle...

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Alert: don't read the linked post in 20 without reading the comment thread. It's brilliant.

I'm still laughing at the phrase

"if you're a big black guy, don't you have a duty not to act like a gorilla in the bush?"

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My friend Mike (not an Iranian nor indeed any sort of Mexican) drove an MG in high School. Now there was a car.

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As long as we're talking about great musical performances, keep your eye on the woman toward the right who collapses in agony, only to be completely ignored.

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Who's Nelly Furtado? How the hell am I so out of touch? I watch a lot of TV! I'm trying here. I think I'm going to start watching things other than the Golf Channel and HGTV.

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Like Nickelodeon?

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Are there a lot of titties on Nickelodeon?

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Kidding.

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Results 1 - 10 of about 32,600 for nickelodeon titties. (0.55 seconds)

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I only got 31,900 results! You got more titties!

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Are there a lot of titties on Nickelodeon?

I believe Nicktoons has a show called "The Angry Beavers".

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The miracle of Rhapsody allows me to say that Promiscuous sucks.

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Ogged, not only are you out of touch, you are more out of touch than Nick Hornby. Nellie Furtado's debut "Whoa Nellie" was a "Hey Ya"-like event which made people believe pop music might not suck always, for ever and ever, world on end. The two singles were "I'm Like a Bird" and (in my opinion the superior) "Turn Out the Light." I'd link the later, but the only videos on youtube are some feakish anime videos. What the hell is up with that, anyway? Who wakes up one day thinking "I have *got* to set clips of 'Star Blazers' to Eric B and Rakim?"

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But this Nelly Furtado of yours is attractive. Are any Canadian women not cute?

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Listening to Turn Off The Light now...

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Candaians are also the cause of cuteness in others.

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Whereas before I just wanted to piss you all off, now I say apologetically, I just don't like pop music.

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Seriously, you don't like "Turn off the Light"?!

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I don't really know who Nelly Furtado is either. Not that that's any comfort to you, I'm sure, Ogged.

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Seriously, you don't like "Turn off the Light"?!

I'm sorry, but I don't. At all.

Did you see the bottom comment in the NP clip you linked? That's like all internet comments rolled into one.

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nelly furtado mk.1 sucked. the video for promiscuous girl has justin timberlake making funny faces, too.

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"The Angry Beavers"

Some sort of feminist cartoon?

---

Unrelated: it is a saturday night, and it is my birthday, and I have nothing to do but sit here and drink beer and unfog. I think I have officially become old and lame.

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53

That's true. And it's so close to the very wise comment: "If there's anything this world needs more of, it's cute indie rock girls doing double dutch."

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54

Brock, welcome to parenthood.

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'Promiscuous Girl' is better than anything on "Whoa Nellie". There, I said it.

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56

Brock, that's appalling.

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#54 is depressingly right.

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Give him a break, he's sleep-deprived.

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Happy birthday, Brock.

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Okay, on the basis of one Nelly Furtado You Tube single, I'm going to say that she sounds like the female version of the whiny/nasal-sounding indie rock guy. Which admittedly, Canadians seem to do kinda well, but, eh.

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Now I'm trying to figure out what ogged listens to when "rocking out" in his bitchin' Camero. "Positively 4th Street" on repeat?

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62

Happy birthday, Brock. Don't strangle your kid.

Ok baa, the miracle of modern technology allows me to share some of what I like.

This. (Hope that link works.)

This.

And This.

I like all three of those a lot.

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Soundgarden? Are you fucking kidding me?

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Yeah, Happy Birthday, Brock.

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I like "Turn Out The Light" a lot. "I'm Like A Bird" and "Promiscuous Girl" are less impressive but still not bad.

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(And Happy Birthday, Brock!)

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Soundgarden? Are you fucking kidding me?

Come on, Becks.

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68

Maybe I am forgetting "Turn out the Light" - I sort of remember liking that a lot. But "Like a Bird" just plain blows.

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Happy birthday to Brock, of course. And shouldn't that warrant harder stuff than beer?

Thanks for the links, ogged. Soundgarden isn't really to my taste. Liking the others, although I wouldn't exactly place them in the "rock out" category. There's a class of song that when it comes on, I turn the radio up and start speeding. You know?

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B,

What are you doing here? Go away. Sleep or work on your paper!

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71

There's a class of song that when it comes on, I turn the radio up and start speeding. You know?

Yeah, for me that's the Soundgarden, Guns N' Roses, (sshhh Journey) class of song.

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Harder-stuff-than-beer risks seriously ineffective 3am caring-for-the-baby.

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Guns N' Roses? Journey?

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Ogged, seriously, Soundgarden?

Thumbs up to GNR, though. Also, it's okay to give Journey some love out in the open.

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Heh, thanks BG. I'm here b/c PK and I had a nap in the early evening, ate dinner at 11, and now I'm waiting for him to wind down so I can put him to bed and work on the revisions (which aren't all that hard, actually) with him asleep. Sadly, I find that when I'm the sole parent I just cannot gather the concentration to actually write--PK's presence is just too distracting, even if he is entertaining himself pretty well.

Actually I think today made me realize that I'm a neurotic freak. The house on the market thing totally brings up all my class-based domestic hangups, and the having things besides being a mama to do while PK is around stresses me out way more than it should, and it's hard to have a little stress cry with a kid around, lest you freak him out. Thank god PK really is a sweet kid or I'd be institutionalized by the end of the week.

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76

Teofilo is banned.

What's on the baa rock-out playlist?

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72: Plus, harder stuff than beer just sounds overwhelming when you're that tired.

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Journey is awesome, and anyone who says different is a damn fool. baa knows. Go listen, young Teofilo.

What the fuck is wrong with Soundgarden, people?

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Journey is embarrassing, Ogged.

GNR is good, though. One of the few bands that transcends that genre.

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I've heard more than enough Journey, thanks. It's hard to avoid.

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I once spent several hours in a Kansas City bus station being talked at by Steve Perry's #1 fan.

She showed me pictures, and everything.

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82

Journey is embarrassing, Ogged.

For some reason, everyone but me, Labs, and baa believes this to be true. In fact, Journey rocks, and not in an ironic, nostalgic way either (although they also rock that way).

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You're a foreigner, Labs is gay, and baa is... just baa.

And achingly melodramatic falsetto singing with heavy guitars and square-ass drumming is pretty much the definition of embarrassing, isn't it?

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But "Like a Bird" just plain blows.

Thank you.

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85

Wow: I did not know that Journey had such close ties to Carlos Santana and Larry Graham.

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77- true. Also, as long as we're discussing things that are "called for" by a birthday, "harder stuff than beer" isn't even that high on the list of things that I'm missing right now. A location other than my apartment, friends, and something fun to do are all way ahead of that. I'm perfectly happy with just beer.

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87

And why the hating on Journey and Soundgarden? I like Audioslave better, but really.

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88

And achingly melodramatic falsetto singing with heavy guitars and square-ass drumming is pretty much the definition of embarrassing, isn't it?

Look, this is what the man wants you to think. Stop trying to be cool and just be cool.

Their videos are slightly harder to defend.

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I'd also like to know what's on baa's rockout list.

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90

Deny Journey. Deny Christ. Whatever, haters.

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91

The friends/fun combo we managed by having everyone over to our place to watch Buffy when PK was a baby. Thank god for Buffy, or I'd have had no social life whatsoever.

Going outside will be doable as soon as you can pop him in the Bjorn. Once that happens, get your ass moving, because you've got about three years before he stops being cute, fairly easily entertained, and easy to pick up and remove if he has a meltdown.

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Hey, I came out in favor of Journey in 74. I'm feeling awfully invisible. On my birthday, even.

(Although, the fact that Journey was one of the first three bands you mentioned is pretty freaky. I actually like them, but I'd be naming bands I liked for a pretty long time before their name came up.

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close parens

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Journey is a crazy choice, but GNR is the quintisential rock-out band. They're some sick, bad fucks, but the music turns itself up.

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I don't rock out much, Brock, so it's slim pickings in that category.

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I'm okay with not being a guitar rock kind of person, Ogged.

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I'm not sure I've listened to Sexyback all the way through, but when I heard the first couple of minutes on the radio I was just baffled. Promiscous is more bearable (also possibly more bareable), and I might even have higher praise for it than that.

If a friend of mine said "hey, you should watch this video" and it turned out to be clips of somewhat familiar anime (I think I've seen an episode of Starblazers) set to an Eric B and Rakim track, I'd be pleasantly surprised.

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Hmm. I think I'd rather be alone watching baseball (like right now) than having friends over to watch buffy on my birthday.

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I'm telling you, pick a show you like and make it a weekly date. We even took turns being responsible for dinner. It was all bondy and shit.

Plus it gets the kid used to having lots of different people around, which seemed to prevent that annoying stranger anxiety crap they supposedly develop at some point.

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It's brilliant because it baffles, w/d.

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B, how old is PK? Some things you've said make me think 10 or 12, other things make me think 4 or 5.

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He's 5; he'll be six in a couple months.

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Also, he can pretty consistently beat me at chess.

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Also, you're talking about weekly gatherings and generalized social life, while I'm talking about mother-fucking birthdays. Buffy is probably tolerable at one, but wholly out of place at the other. The same things goes for Bon Jovi, although the occassions are reversed.

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Are you good at chess?

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>Stop trying to be cool and just be cool.

That's the stone cold truth. (at least w.r.t. Journey)

Commonalities of songs on the rockout list:

Almost always:
1. fast tempo
2. a solid hook

Often:
1. stereotypical 'hits'
2. objectively, a little bit trashy

One example

another

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No, I'm not good at chess at all. But he's five, and he taught me how to castle.

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108

Journey's much better if you're stoned. Brock, you're watching the Sox/Mariners game?

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107- well, if you don't even know all the moves you shouldn't be that hard to beat...

108- yes, and it just got ugly. Damn bullpen.

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110

I was just about to ask you the same thing Brock. Damn it, Timlin is a shell of himself.

(also, 106 was me)

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111

Sorry B, I'm being rude and difficult for no reason. Your kid is obviously a incredible genius.

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112

After he beats you at chess he can fix my grammar.

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I'm not hard to beat, but still.

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114

One example

Whoa, who did that video for "Deceptacon"? I didn't think the Scissor Sisters were around yet when that song was made.

Also:

You're a foreigner, Labs is gay, and baa is... just baa.

Speaking of Foreigner...

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I find it hard to believe you don't like Keillor, B.

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>rude and difficult for no reason

Losing two straight to the Mariners is not "no reason." I'm seeking puppies to kick.

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Quit condescending to her, Tim.

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118

I'm not saying he's an incredible genius, I'm just saying I've been losing at chess all evening.

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We're just teasing, B.

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Great, some chess playing nerd kid is going to seduce my daughter. That's just fantastic.

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82 gets it exactly right.

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Oh hey, the Mariners are winning? Yay Seattle.

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Since it's your birthday, I'll note that the Yankees lost tonight, so the only things the Red Sox can lose is the opportunity to pick a game up. If it wasn't your birthday, I'd rub the failure to capitalize on said opportunity in your face.

If you're looking for something to watch, Slapshot's on same pay channel (I'm crashing at my folks for a couple of days and honestly don't know what channels they get).

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Rock out music (I think hip-hop is categorically ineligible for this):

GNR
Billy Idol
Poison
Bon Jovi
Van Halen

I could keep going but you get the idea...

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109, 110: The agony. And the Mariners' closer is named J.J. Putz, which just seems to add insult to injury. Who would they bring out in extra innings -- Bob Schmendrick? Dan Schlemiel?

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126

Also, since this was ostensibly about great singles from this year, I have to nominate "In The Morning", but I have a frightening love of synth-pop for someone under 30. Also, I am completely ignorant of what's being played on TV or the Radio.

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He also loves Star Wars and Star Trek, baa.

Your daughter has my sympathy.

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People, the only way that Journey doesn't suck is in a kitschy, ironic way. I'll grant passes for anybody who was in junior high school in the 80s, because maybe you felt your first titty while it was on the radio. Fair enough, they at least have that.

The Beach Boys, though? 24/7 suck for 40 years running. The production and instrumentation on Pet Sounds is interesting enough to fool people into thinking that the underlying songs don't suck. But they do.

I can't believe I have to explain this to adults.

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129

Journey's much better if you're stoned.

I'm trying to think of a band name that could replace "Journey" here to make this statement untrue. I'm blanking.

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129: The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

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124 was me.

When does football season start?

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Apostropher, it's a mystery how you can be so wrong about Journey and so right about the Beach Boys. And that bit about how you were feeling titties in junior high? Gratuitous and mean.

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I've never listened to the Mormon Tabernacle Quior while stoned, but I'm willing to bet 129 is false.

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Wait... quior? And 129 was me and was true, I meant 130 is wrong. I need to go to bed, obviously.

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The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Dude, I had to review a Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert last year at the Rose Garden (where the Blazers play -- that's right, an MTC arena gig). That would have been much, much better stoned.

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night

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Apostropher, I'm afraid that you're wrong about the Beach Boys, but only because of one song.

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I remain unconvinced, JAC.

As an aside, all through that video, I kept thinking, "Wait a minute, I don't think that drummer is really playing." Then he started playing air tambourine at the end.

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that's right, an MTC arena gig

Is there a funnier phrase in the English language?

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140

I have a photo of my 5 year old daughter and 3 year old son playing chess together, and it wasn't a setup. Wait til you can play board games other than snakes and ladders with 'em, or boring old chess. We especially like Carcasonne and the Catan expansions. They love games of all sorts, but no matter how I try to promote or prohibit or temper their video game time Nintendo has a special place in their lives.

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As an aside, all through that video, I kept thinking, "Wait a minute, I don't think that drummer is really playing." Then he started playing air tambourine at the end.

I hadn't even realized that, but you're totally right. He even seems to be moving the drumsticks off-beat through most of the middle of the song. And I still can't figure out what part Brian Wilson's bass is actually supposed to play in the song. Nevertheless, Brian's anal-retentive studio hijinks produced pop perfection in this one case.

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'beach boys- don't worry baby' is the best song.

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81: That was you I was talking to, B?

"Oh Sherry" makes me wet.

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144

I quite liked Nelly Furtado's song "I'm Like A Bird". It was brilliant because it was true; she is, like, a bird. I wish that Canadian birds wouldn't put "like" in the middle of sentences for no reason though.

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1. stop hating on journey. I love journey.
2. what the fuck are you beach boys haters on about? no, seriously. if the hairs on your arm don't prickle up, if you aren't filled with overwhelming melancholy when you listen to "surf's up", then you are...probably a shiite or something, man. it always makes me want to move to santa monica and kill myself some sunny, sunny day. it's no fair thinking about kokomo or something, that's a whole different thang.
3. nelly furtado: hott, but musically eh.
4. justin timberlake: strangely compelling. I want to hate him, but somehow it doesn't happen. sometimes I worry he's secretly a pop genius or something, but the feeling usually passes and I never go out and buy any songs, so.
5. happy birthday dear brooo-ooock/happy birthday to you!!

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I don't usually follow the singles chart much so I often don't have a sense of which single came out when.

However, Sexyback is merely OK. Timberlake has released better stuff in the past. I like what he and his producers are trying to do on the song, I just don't think it works particularly well. That Pussycat Dolls (yeah, I know...) song with Snoop Dogg works better for me as an example of an R & B based pop song with interesting production.

Good single this year*:

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
The Zutons - Why Won't You Give Me Your Love
Dirty Pretty Things - Bang Bang You're Dead
The Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor not as good as their Fake Tales of San Francisco though.

The Lady Sovereign versus the Ordinary Boys mix of 9 to 5 is a nice slice of two-tone ska-pop. Her original is better though. And neither are as good as her Blah Blah which rocks mightily and is totally worth checking out. If you click on any of the links, that's the one.


* i.e. singles that have gotten into the UK charts and which I am i) aware of and ii) don't seem to suck.

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147

83 makes me wonder if -gg-d digs Foreigner? (Or what about Asia?)

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148

pwned by 114.

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149

You don't even have to read this comment to know what it's going to say. I feel obligated, nonetheless.

I saw Journey once. In the auditorium at some junior college on the Peninsula. Back when Gregg Rolie was leader and singer (think Santana's Black Magic Woman -- that's him). It was almost OK, but then in some blazing guitar moment, Neal Schon made that high-note-agony-guitar-face, I knew this could never be mine. It wasn't too long after that that they hired a singer who's voice was the equivalent of that face, only aimed at the ladies.

Why go? The bass player went to my high school; before my time, but he was a classmate of my girlfriend's sister. Everyone I knew had their first record . . . Checking the spelling of Rolie's name, I see that he's a native of Seattle. Not my favorite city this morning.

So, the Sox have to win in Seattle tonight, and then they have to go south and take 3 from Players Wearing Green. Not exactly a dream situation to be in.

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150

a "Hey Ya"-like event which made people believe

Here's some dude playing "Hey Ya" on an acoustic guitar. I kind of like it.

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151

This is way too late in the thread to matter, but I'll support ogged's Beach Boys hatred. Their hooks are likable enough, but their vocals make them sound like a girlier version of a barbershop quartet. And all the "wooo-ooo-ooos"? In modern, civilized times, this is appreciated only for its camp value, people.

Journey, however, is indefensible. I can't help you there.

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152

strasmangelo jones gets it exactly right.

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153

I don't see why Soundgarden gets so much hate. Granted I know very little of their music, but it's not so bad .. is it?

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150: Thanks for pointing me to this.

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153: no, it's not. soundgarden is a perfectly respectable sabbath-lovin' band, but they get lots of undeserved reflected hate off of the grunge vocal stylings they somewhat pioneered.

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156

Hey speaking of pop music if any of you like Robyn Hitchcock and want to listen to him talking with the DJ on KCRW and playing piano and singing for 45 fucking minutes check out this link. It is awesome.

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157

Wow. 150 is amazing.

I can't believe I missed a Red Sox thread.

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158

alameida, as usual is the voice of wisdom. Sit at her feet, people! (I'll even admit Nelly Furtado isn't all that, musically. The entire reality of the Nelly Furtado of "Whoa Nelly," however, almost defines all that.)

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159

And all the "wooo-ooo-ooos"? In modern, civilized times, this is appreciated only for its camp value, people.

Disagree entirely. I think I could happily listen to a song that was made up wholly of non-verbal sounds. But, as I've admitted before, I know nothing about music. And that people can cover songs in ways that make the music sound so different from the original, as in the #150 link, is thrilling. Even if the result, in this case, isn't.

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I could happily listen to a song that was made up wholly of non-verbal sounds

Isn't this known as instrumental music?

cover songs in ways that make the music sound so different from the original

Killdozer!

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161

One of my favorite covers in recent memory is still Tori Amos doing Smells Like Teen Spirit.

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162

I'm shocked to find all these people (besides ogged, Labs, and baa) defending Journey. I guess this is my "Nobody I know voted for Nixon" moment. Except I thought I knew you.

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163

I'm with you, Herr Weiner. Wtf is it with the soft-rock stylings people?

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164

Don't you know you're gonna
Shock the Weiner (hey hey)
Shock the Weiner.

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165

He knows whereof he speaks.

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166

Scientists report that a full 3/4" of ogged's erect length is composed solely of gender hang-ups.

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167

And all the "wooo-ooo-ooos"? In modern, civilized times, this is appreciated only for its camp value, people.

I'm with SCMT. You are just plain wrong, wrong on this point. The "wooo-ooo-ooo" is a versatile and vital member of the "wordless chorus and/or crescendo" family.

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168

Linking issues onna second link, JAC.

But that too. I would also cite "Get a Job," "Why Do Fools Fall in Love?" hell, there's a whole genre here. (Though for some reason when I think of a "woo" song it's "woo.... You cannot reach me now. woo... No matter how you try. Goodbye cruel world, it's over, walk on by. Suck it Labs!)

The Beach Boys are a case where nostalgic/tacky trappings may cause an instinctive reaction -- or a reaction against our initial instincts (a healthy aesthetic meta-instinct, as our initial instincts are easily manipulated) -- against what is in fact brilliant music. The nostalgic/tacky trappings of Journey are the ice crust over the deepest crevasses of suck.

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167: Those aren't "woo-ooo-ooos" the Futureheads are using. And they are, in fact, being employed in part for their camp value.

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The woo-haters should think about the genre of doo-wop; and hang their heads in shame.

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168 gets it exactly right.

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And the people hating on the 'woooo-oooos' are soulless automata.

There are entire genres of music damn near built around the ecstatic harmony 'woooo-ooooo'. The entire recorded output of black american vocal music from about 1955 to about 1965, for a start.* On something like the Soul Stirrers (with Sam Cooke) 'Touch the Hem of His Garment' the song is *made* by the melismatic 'wooo-ooooaahs'. Amazon sample clip: http://tinyurl.com/zwmfk

* and only a fool would dispute that that music -- black american vocal music of the late 50s and 60s -- is pretty much the greatest body of songs evar...

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Please don't compare the woo-woos of Sam Cooke to the woo-woos of a bunch of half-crazy wuss-boy crackers from California. Thank you.

I'm gonna get you Standpipe, and not in a good way.

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Doo-wop is great. The Beach Boys are what happens when you take doo-wop and turn the honky factor up to 11.

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I am pwned.

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Fret not, apostropher, your comment is better.

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Out of the possible reasons not to like the Beach Boys, you pick "too girly", as if harmony and high-register singing were kryptonite to testicles. I'm just telling it like it is.

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as if harmony and high-register singing were kryptonite to testicles

But this is, sadly, almost always the case. I guess the facts hate your liberal p.c. agenda.

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179

Weren't you just saying the other day that Blue was a great album? Thought experiment: suppose Joni Mitchell had a cock. Wither Blue?

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But the heavy guitar thing can compensate for Ogged's vulnerable testicles, apparently. B/c don't tell me Journey isn't all about the high-register singing.

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Thought experiment: suppose Joni Mitchell had a cock. Wither Blue?

Now that would put us in Antony (and the Johnsons) territory, and Antony is totally awesome. Here's an mp3 of Antony singing a duet (he sings the "beautiful boys" parts). I confess I love this song. There's more stuff on YouTube.

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182

Whoa, the Artic Monkeys songs McG links in 146 are really good.

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183

'Touch the Hem of His Garment'

Love this song. But it's his voice, not just the "woah-whoa"'s that make the song.

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184

It is true the Blue is pretty honky. And the Beach Boys were quite musically adventurous. Ogged's reflexive hypermasculinity with regard to high vocals is just a defensive reaction to his being a castrato.

And that people can cover songs in ways that make the music sound so different from the original, as in the #150 link, is thrilling

If you would like a list of a lot of such covers, I would be happy to provide one.

re 150, I had forgotten how cool-looking the keyboard-playing Andre is.

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Oh, and just for the record, GNR's cover of "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" puts them firmly in the "sucks for all time" category. How ogged can like that tortured-cat caterwauling and dislike the Beach Boys is beyond me.

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It's not really the woo-ahhs, is it? They're fun to sing along with.* Isn't it the blatant way the Beach Boys ripped off Chuck Berry, and then acted like they didn't?

*Go ahead and say with a straight face that you can sing along with the woo -- ooos on Fun, Fun, Fun without collapsing into laughter. Anyone?

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This place is such a decadent enclave of the Left. I have friends who think my taste in music is totally wussified, and give me suspicious, not very ironic "you're not going to try to blow me now?" looks when I play them some of the music I like.

Anyway, there's an unchanging amount of reflexive hypermasculinity in the world; if there were more of it in whitey's music, there might be less in his foreign policy. Are the Beach Boys responsible for the invasion of Iraq? No. Vietman? Most probably.

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The cover linked in 150 is fantastic.

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Though the original is also pretty awesome.

Full o' opinions!

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It's a cornucopińata.

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Ogged, I hate to tell you, but the fact that you have friends who are terrified about their fragile masculinity doesn't make Standpipe wrong.

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GNR's cover of "Knockin' On Heaven's Door" puts them firmly in the "sucks for all time" category.

I can't imagine hearing "Welcome to the Jungle" and not feeling an adrenaline rush. You can hate GNR only if you hate the whole category.

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the fact that you have friends who are terrified about their fragile masculinity doesn't make Standpipe wrong.

I am literally wrong, though, as gender hang-ups don't actually, physically agglomerate in the penis.

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I didn't mean it as evidence that SB is wrong, B; I'm just always amused by being the poster boy for "reflexive hypermasculinity" here and for "wuss boy" among my other friends.

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195

The cover linked in 150 is fantastic.

I would expect a Journey fan to appreciate the melismas on 'now' -- and 'involved' -- and oh my god, the next one. Urgh. 159 is right.

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You're not really reflexively hypermasculine at all; but I'm all over the Ogged has gender hangups thing.

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I'm just always amused by being the poster boy for "reflexive hypermasculinity" here

Sure, I see that.

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184: If you would like a list of a lot of such covers, I would be happy to provide one.

He's coming on to you, Tim.

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199

Has anyone here ever attributed to ogged masculinity of any degree?

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83: And what about Toto? We need to know what ogged thinks of Toto!

Apostropher is right about the Beach Boys -- Pet Sounds is really overrated (with the exception of "Wouldn't it be Nice"). The songs just aren't good, though the lyrics to "Hang on to Your Ego" are hilarious.

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That wouldn't be on the list, actually, Weiner, because it doesn't radically change the original.

Now, if Jennifer Charles covered "Ask", then, if I wanted to come on to Tim, I would include it.

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The songs just aren't good

It's a good thing you've got looks, da.

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199: This is an interesting point. I once attributed sexism to him, which surely imputes him of hypermasculinity, and he banned me for it. Gender anxiety? Or definitive proof of anti-masculine bias?

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That is definitely an incorrect use of "imputes", and surely the nonhypermasculine can be sexist?

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Imputes, implicates, implies. WTFever. Y'all know what I mean.

(This defensive postscript brought to you via Mr. Wolfson's nagging.)

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Wouldn't it be great if we had access to, or a vocabulary for, the deep reactions we have to music, and so could say just what it is that makes us like or not like a song? Pretty much every "if you like...you'll also like..." musical exercise I've been party to has been a failure. Maybe other people do have access to this. I certainly don't.

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I'm on record, Ben, as saying that everyone is probably a little bit sexist, so yes. The nonhypermasculine can be sexist twerps just like everyone else. Even you.

But that's totally irrelevant to the giving Ogged shit thing. Don't step on my dress, man.

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Urgh.

I meant qua cover, Coors boy.

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209

I have sometimes been able to make successful music recommendations.

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210

Another favorite cover: Madeline Peyroux doing Dylan's "You're Gonna Make me Lonesome When You Go."

There's some other band that's covered it, and damned if I can remember their name, but it's an even better cover. Just heartbreaking.

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And this:

Doo-wop is great. The Beach Boys are what happens when you take doo-wop and turn the honky factor up to 11.

is totally true, and shows why we should all defer to the apostropher on questions of music.

Now I'm off to buy a copy of whatever Kiss album has "Lick it Up."

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212

We need to know what ogged thinks of Toto!

For me, Toto is that junior high nostalgia music. I wouldn't call it good, but it makes me smile.

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213

As incredible covers-qua-covers go, isn't this the paradigm example?

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Case in point: the hypermasculine do not just sit there quietly and take it when people are hurling insults their way. They fire back insults of their own. Unwavering confrontation and escalation are the names of the game.

ergo, I think ogged's are right: wuss boy.

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ogged's *friends*

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I thnk of "My Way" as the paradigm example, SB. (Was the name change ever explained?)

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The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti

The great thing is, it sounds even worse when they sing it.

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213 is right; when Dylan plays that song now, he plays Hendrix's version.

Susanna and the Magical Orchestra's cover of "Jolene" is really fantastic.

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No, ogged is just normal. Given the collection of freaks that colelct on the Internet (here, I'm thinking of me), he's going to seem odd by virtue of his normality.

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214: By those standards, I'm hypermasculine. I don't think that definition works.

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"Collection of freaks that colelct"?

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I stand by both the misspelling and the inelegant phrasing, Wolfson. That's what a MAN does.

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210: It's Ben Watt. Sadly, his cover of it isn't on YouTube, but I recommend seeking it out.

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I meant qua cover, Coors boy.

I'm not sure I understand this. There are covers that are just fantanstic , as in 213. There are (surely) covers that are fantastic because of the audacity of the recasting of the song, even if the aural experience is kind of incongruous—maybe the Dickies' cover of "Sounds of Silence," though "fantastic" would be a bit much. There are covers that are kind of both, like the Siouxsie and the Banshees song on Nearly God, and the Ramones' "Let's Dance."

And the Coors thing is a slander of Huey Lewis proportions. All I was saying was that anyone who has been within a mile of a TV showing an NFL game -- unlike all you Commie wusses -- knows that Kid Rock endorses Coors.

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According to this article, 213/218 is correct.

Also, re: 220, 214 wasn't in any way a definition. It's a necessary characteristic, but far from a sufficient one. Of, course, strip away the tits and curvy hips and give you a great big cock and you very well might be hypermasculine for all I know. (A female can be masculine, but only a male can be comically hypermasculine, right?)

Anyway, I was only joking, so all this discussion is probably unwarranted.

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Strip away the tits? What? My very essence? I think not.

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Susannah and the Magical Orchestra - Jolene.

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Now that I think of it I played that track on my show (with a different spelling for the band name, oh well) a while back. In fact that was my last show of the year! I bet none of you losers was listening, though.

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209: so who should I listen to if I really like pj harvey?

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I don't know anything about PJ Harvey, sorry, but don't people say Laurie Anderson in this circumstance? Or am I thinking of someone or two someones else?

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whatever Kiss album has "Lick it Up."

That would be Lick It Up.

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don't people say Laurie Anderson in this circumstance?

No. Or, they shouldn't.

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229: Heartless Bastards.

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225: that article places Soft Cell's cover of "Tainted Love" at 6, which is absurd (but not as absurd as the entire production in the first place), given the awesome rockabilly cover by the Hormonauts of the same song.

And really, all the great cover versions! I mean, shit. The idea that they can be ordered is ridiculous. Top X lists are stupid.

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Thank you, apo. They're not mean enough, but they're good.

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Yeah, I almost mentioned that, apart from the #1 selection, the list was total crap, both in fact and in theory.

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The idea that they can be ordered is ridiculous. Top X lists are stupid.

Most people have heard that complaint before, Wolfson. Cliched complaints are stupid.

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I was disburdening myself, not informing you, Tim.

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Is there a difference between "disburdening" and "unburdening" that you're being careful to observe. (Serious question.)

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See for yourself.

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Another iconic cover is The Clash's, of "Police and Thieves". I can't even remember who it's by originally -- T.Rex? Also: The Beatles' Chuck Berry covers.

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234 -- my college band, Bastard Squad, covered "Tainted Love". I did not know until just now that it was not Soft Cell's song.

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The answer seems to be "no". I tend to go for "disburden" when I want a figurative meaning, plus I think it sounds better. Actually I wasn't sure "unburden" was even a word until I looked it up just now. "Disburden" to me has more of a connotation of getting rid of the burden, sort of casting it out and removing it (as in creating a spatial remove), while "unburden" sounds more mechanical, and more like the burden is just gone or something.

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229: silversun pickups

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241: Junior Murvin, I believe.

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Those aren't "woo-ooo-ooos" the Futureheads are using. And they are, in fact, being employed in part for their camp value.

I hang my head in shame, as they are closer to a "Ah-oh-oh". Still, I think The Futureheads are earnest fans of the wordless chorus, with little camp or irony intended.

I meant to link to this and this as examples of modern wooo-ooo-ooo's in the original post as well, but I couldn't find a better version of that latter song online. I admit that I may be conflating the "woo-ooo-ooo" with the "whoa-oh-oh", "wah-ooo-ooo", "wah-oh-oh" and all other sounds that could conceivably be written as just a w and long or short o sounds. I just want to say that Doo-Wop was certainly not the end of good wordless singing (though Beach Boys are still mediocre in my mind).

Of course, I'm 2 hours late with this.

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"Junior Murvin" s/b "Junior Murvin, who sings in a very sweet falsetto."

When I think of "unburden" I visualize someone heaving their burden off their shoulders. When I think of "disburden," I visualize them handing their burden to someone else. I don't know if there's any basis for any of this.

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Hey I heard a great pop song on Glen Jones' Radio Programme this afternoon: Cherry Hill Park by Billy Joe Royal.

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Speaking of doo wop and post-doo wop and woo-ooo music.

I've been listening to a lot of the Impressions, recently and amazed at how great it is. Vocal harmony groups rock. Curtis Mayfield wrote genius pop songs before he went solo.

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a. Joan Osborne's version of War is worth a listen. 'Absolutely nuthin' indeed.

b. I'm finding that I can't hold still enough to fill out timesheets with Jerry and Merle doing 'How Sweet It Is (to be Loved by You).' YMOMV.

c. I'm sure there must be bad covers of Hank Williams songs by non-country artists, but I'm not sure I can remember hearing one.

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A quarter of a thousand!

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A quarter of a baker's-thousand, maybe.

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So covers that are fantastic because of the incongruity even though they kind of sound like crap would include that surf-punk band that covered the "Masterpiece Theatre" theme, and this.

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And in Seattle, it's 1-0 Mariners. RS have two on, no outs. Think Lopez can hit into a triple play?

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Brock -- or a baker's quarter of a thousand.

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Just remembered: I have a record with La Bamba sung by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Por ti serai indeed.

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Charley, Lopez could hit into a triple play with two outs.

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Obviously it's por ti se re. Apologies for any confusion.

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244: dogfight, I think yes. thanks.

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Things that are unconditionally great:

"Wouldn't It Be Nice," Pet Sounds
"God Only Knows," Pet Sounds (seriously, does anyone really want to try and debate this one?)
"Welcome To The Jungle," Appetite
"You Still Believe In Me," Pet Sounds
"Sloop John B," Pet Sounds
"I'm Waiting For The Day," Pet Sounds
All the percussion, Pet Sounds
"Mr. Brownstone," Appetite
"Sweet Child O.M.," Appetite

Things that are good:

Journey
GnR Lies

Things that are good in spite of the fact that they're known to be Justin Timberlake:

Justin Timberlake

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People who are haters:

All you bitches

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Does "Sloop John B" ever really get the love it truly deserves?

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Just from us, silvana.

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Sloop John B is great. I'm not sure its greatness justifies the omission of "I know there's an answer" and "Caroline, no!" (so amazing) from the 'unconditionally great' list, but it is great.

As far as Journey goes, I remain a proud member of Hating Bitches International.

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God, I can't believe I missed a whole half-thread of Beach Boys hating and was not here to defend them. I hate you people (not you guys, Joe and Weiner).

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Hey!

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Oh yeah, bitch, you are off the hook, too.

I am listening to God Only Knows right fucking now just to spite apostropher.

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All I have to say is:

They come on like they're peaceful
But inside they're so uptight
They trip through the day
And waste all their thoughts at night

So there.

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Sloop John B

A distant relation, and the namesake of Sloop John Stevens, didn't you know.

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270

"Sloop John B" is also a cover, so it gets double points.

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271

God Only Knows," Pet Sounds (seriously, does anyone really want to try and debate this one?)

It's a pretty good song, but that odd little instrumental passage that comes in for no reason and interrupts the song, if only briefly, is pretty annoying. Chalk it up to Brian Wilson being teh crazy.

The Beach Boys did a lot of crap, but have a number of good songs. Someone already mentioned "Don't Worry Baby", which I'd rather listen to than a lot of Pet Sounds (though for great wuss music, it's hard to beat "Caroline, No.") "Kiss Me Baby" is also pretty amazing, and the woo-woo vocals are what make it.

The Impressions ruled. I'd take "We're a Winner" and "I'm So Proud" just for starters. It also occurs to me, not for the first time, that part of what made Marvin Gaye great was the fact that, as an old doo-wopper (got his start with the Moonglows, if I remember correctly), he knew what to do with the woo-woo. Listen to the studio verson of "Distant Lover", for instance; it's pure doo-wop, the arc of the song carried by the lush backing vocals (and what a payoff at the end on the lead--great stuff.)

Guns 'n' Roses, Journey, all that crap--why anyone who grew up with that music doesn't feel relief at escaping it is beyond me. Wordless vocals, on the other hand, are the best kind.

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I agree with both points of JL's final paragraph in 271, and also that the instrumental bit in "God Only Knows" is a bit annoying.

On the same radio programme yesterday with "Cherry Hill Park", I heard "Teenage Beatnik" by Louis Nye, which was great -- I had never heard of Mr. Nye until then, but by odd coincidence I saw his face on the Emmy Awards last night during a retrospective; asked my sweetheart who he was and she said he was Steve Allen's sidekick.

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Theory: the kind of people who think Journey sucks are the kind of people who think Meat Loaf sucks.

No judgment; just a theory.

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274

Your theory applies to me.

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(Except: Meatloaf's performance in Rocky Horror Picture Show. This is awesome and bears no relationship to the rest of his œuvre.)

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273:

I am counter-evidence for your theory. I enjoy Meat Loaf, mostly unironically, but can't stand Journey. Perhaps it's relevant that I first heard Meat Loaf in my childhood or early teens, and first really noticed Journey in my late twenties.

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I first noticed Journey coming out of the speakers in Rodney Dangerfield's golf bag.

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Meatloaf is fabulous at what he does. Journey, not so much. Except inasmuch as what they do is produce embarrassingly cringeworthy music.

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I read the Sleepover thread while listening to this.

Loaf makes a lot of excellent points.

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Joe, I hope you escaped unmolested from Rodney Dangerfield's golf bag.

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I'm with the Clownę on Journey and Meatloaf, including the Rocky Horror exemption.

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281 -- Glad to hear it, JL -- Let us stride boldly forward, to a day when lovers of Journey and Meatloaf will be shown no quarter! Also, Lionel Ritchie.

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Oh no, Clownę. Lionel will not be dismissed so slightly, nor will he be lumped with the loaf. No sir, I say!

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284

No quarter, tcfkamrh!

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285

I don't want to be too nickname police or anything, tcfkamrh, but if you go back to just plain mrh I will totally release you from your contract.

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Oh, what a feeling to imagine Lionel Ritchie beaten to the rhythm of the night.

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285: What about me?

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I am listening to God Only Knows right fucking now just to spite apostropher.

We call that "cutting off your nose to spite your face" 'round these parts, honky.

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Sorry, Matt. Until I come up with (or someone else comes up with) a better name, "mrh" I shall be.

All you Lionel-haters are crazy.

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Until I come up with (or someone else comes up with) a better name

I keep on tellin' ya, "Mr. H" -- but do you act on it? Nooooo....

All you Lionel-haters are crazy

"on crack" is the preferred usage.

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Releasing you from your contract was supposed to be a good thing. Now you can wipe that "puppet" off your cheek.

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