Far worse than white shag was the olive-avocado color of the carpet in my parents' house. The carpet was flat and molded into raised patterns, and it covered the living room and dining room.
When they tore it up they discovered beautiful hardwood floors underneath. I hope under your carpet is pretty wood floors.
God, don't even get me started. Our house has a bunch of maroon carptet in the upstairs, and one of the smaller bedrooms upstairs is fucking turquoise. I'm hoping to have enough money saved by the end of the year to rip it all out and put slate and bamboo as far as the eye can see.
What percentage of fellatios are actually given while the fellater is on his/her knees, do you think? It seems a rather contrived, pornish pose, and one an otherwise willing fellater might object to.
We should totally compare notes on #11. Do you mean, on knees while fellatee is standing? B/c on knees while fellatee is standing, lying, or sitting, I'd estimate my percentage would be pretty high: 80-90%. It's just more comfortable.
one an otherwise willing fellater might object to.
I'll omit an aside about Mrs. Wolfson. This is so true, but the iconography of sodomy is fixed in the popular imagination. You go to the comment box with the allusions you've got.
Okay, standing I'd have to say a lot lower, maybe 5% max. But not because I particularly object. Actually, I don't really know why, come to think of it.
Someone else here has to share, people. Ogged, what percentage of blow jobs have you received while standing?
A blow job while standing I don't think I've ever received. It would feel squicky, I'm pretty sure. And my memory might be playing tricks, but I think once it was about to happen, given where the bodies where at the time, etc., and the young lady just said "no" and had me lay down. It only occurs to me now that I should have made a "my way or the hershey highway" remark.
Actually, I don't really know why, come to think of it.
While the fellatee is standing requires a lot more trust and understanding between the two people because when the guy is standing, he has a wider range of motion for thrusting than when sitting or lying down. The fellater is in much less control of making sure things stay withing acceptable limits with regard to gag reflex, etc.
if she does read it, it seems kind of tacky to make jokes about her
It's a little late for that, don't you think? And it was Wolfson who started the YOUR MOM tradition at Unfogged, so no way does he get off the hook with "Oh no, my mom reads this thing." Anyway, wait, let me take my dick out of her mouth...yup, Ben's mom says she's cool with it.
See, I disagree with 26. On my knees, I feel like I can way more easily move away. Plus, I guess I'm fucking lazy, and I hate having to bob my head up and down and up and down and up and down and blah blah. It's boring. At least the standing/kneeling (or sitting/kneeling) setup is a little more mutual. When the guy's lying down, I feel like I'm "servicing" him, and it kind of annoys me sometimes.
27: It's not that *he* should get off the hook. It's that joking about fucking someone who overhears you saying it, but isn't actually part of your friend network, is crappy.
Although I suppose fair enough, she isn't the intended blog audience and for all I know isn't reading. But still. Ick.
34: Exactly. Plus, fewer cricks in the neck (at least, if you're kneeling down at the foot of the bed, say). I mean, really: any position where your head and spine are in alignment is going to be more comfortable than one where they're at an angle somewhere between 45-90 degrees.
34: Exactly. Plus, fewer cricks in the neck (at least, if you're kneeling down at the foot of the bed, say). I mean, really: any position where your head and spine are in alignment is going to be more comfortable than one where they're at an angle somewhere between 45-90 degrees.
Although when the floor would be really hard on the knees or just super uncomfortable, I've known girls to do it from standing by just bending at the waist. Wood floors don't necessarily have this problem, though I'd imagine tile and stone would be a bitch. My high school dorm rooms just had the worst carpet ever.
35: I've never heard anyone say that kneeling was particularly comfortable before. I certainly can't kneel for more than one minute without starting to wobble a lot.
Also, the "tough shit" was unnecessary. You often seem to be assuming that people who frequently comment sympathetically on intensely feminist-friendly and intellectual blogs like this one and yours are secretly closed-minded male supermacists who need to have some sense knocked into them by what will probably be the first woman they've ever heard say a dirty word. Please stop assuming the worst.
I've found that kneeling down to return the favor a few times is a remarkable way of curing that discomfort.
I tried that once and it was ludicrously awkward for both of us, partially because of the 14-inch height difference.
1. I think that wall-to-wall carpet might be a generational thing. My mom can't understand at all why I hate carpet so much, even when I try to explain to her the utter soul-sucking power of a rental house's dingy carpet. Everyone I know who's my age absolutely refuses to move into a house or apartment with carpet, unless they're financially desperate. I'd rather live with a shitty scratched up splintery hardwood floor than a carpet.
2. Despite the "servicing" symbolism (though when it's two guys, the down-on-your-knees thing isn't as politically charged), I'd rather kneel on a hardwood floor to give a blowjob than do it to a guy who's lying on his back -- it makes my neck tired and sore, working from that angle. And when he's standing up, he can move and thrust and I don't have to do all the work.
I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't actually read this blog, and that, having done her best to get me to know and respect the use of the English subjunctive, and as a former English teacher, she'd be quite pleased to learn that I'm the grammar scourge of the internets.
reaching for my copy of "Politics and the English Language", I find myself wanting to strike out against the introduction of a polysyllabic Latinism of dubious provenance and stand up for the simple demotic Anglo-Saxon "cocksucker". Although I must admit that I am at a loss for a specific citation to the works of Orwell; the index in my edition of the Collected Essays is worse than useless.
ahhh see this is why I never became a High Court Judge, never had the Latin for it. There isn't a simple Anglo-Saxon word for "one who is the recipient of oral sex", perhaps because the practice was unknown in the British Isles before the arrival of your mum.
Suppose Daleks, rather than "exterminate . . . exterminate . . . exterminate", had gone "irrumate . . . irrumate . . . irrumate." Would they have been more or less terrifying to small children back in the '70s?
the Daleks never seemed anything other than hilariously campy.
But would they have seemed more terrifying had they demanded constantly and with robotic intensity that they be sexually serviced?
Perhaps the writers missed a trick there.
I so wish Tom Baker and Louise Jameson had done low-budget pr0n flicks on the side, with Daleks in supporting roles. My world would be marginally closer to complete.
Landlords put carpet on nice hardwood floors to protect the valuable floors. Perhaps homeowners do too.
I've been researching internet porn recently. My purpose is to investigate their Mapplethorpian use of light and shadow, of course, and I strictly bracket out my own erotic response as irrelevant to my study, but watching women give guys blowjobs is definitely not my thing.
43: thank you, John, for returning this thread to its orginal topic.
When I was tearing the stuff out, I kept wondering what these people were thinking. Did it really look good at the time? It's hard to imagine, but so many things about that style mystify me.
Guys: Wood floors should not, properly, be left bare. This does not mean wall-to-wall carpeting is acceptable. Area rugs are the way to go -- you get the beauty of the wood floors around the edges of the room where there is not a lot of walking going on, you save on heating, you get the nice æsthetic experience of lovely area rugs.
Suppose Daleks, rather than "exterminate . . . exterminate . . . exterminate", had gone "irrumate . . . irrumate . . . irrumate." Would they have been more or less terrifying to small children back in the '70s?
One of the not-so-bright things the owners of my current rental did was to put wall-to-wall carpets in exactly two rooms in the house - the bathroom and the kitchen. Everything else is exposed wood. I think they decided that the floor needed some renovation, and happened to have a big roll of office-floor carpet around.....
If you've ever lived in a flat below someone with wooden floors it could drive you to murder. Very very quickly.
Yeah, this is the sort of thing that makes me so happy my building has 6 inches of concrete between floors. Throw on a floating wood floor and a suspended ceiling, and there's a completely blissful lack of noise from above and below.
You can still hear the next door people, though (thankfully they're quiet fellators).
Also, I'll agree with the area rug business, especially for areas under furniture. If you can get a good flat rug for under the dining room table and living room it stops the chairs from scratching up a beautiful floor.
Hardwood floors don't work too well if you have a series of kids going through the first year or two of standing up and walking. Lots of falling down on their giant heads.
My eighteen-month-old had the good fortune of learning to walk in my house that has brick floors. He spent most of the time looking like he'd just come out on the losing end of a prizefight. So far, no sign of brain damage.
I had an ex g/friend who lived in an attic apartment with hardwood floors. Her downstairs neighbour used to constantly complain about the noise even though we weren't noisy nor were we clumpy walkers. I always thought she was batty until I experienced the same thing a few years later. It sounds like you are living beneath a heard of elephants. Other sounds, music and speech, for example, also carry much more.
3 kids and hardwood floors! I'd have moved too.
re: 88
When I was little we lived in a caravan -- impoverished hippy parents -- and I learned to walk very early but didn't learn to crawl as there was something to grab on to everywhere. When we moved to a house we had hardwood floors -- painted with hippy paintings -- and apparently that's when I learned to crawl. Clunking wasn't a problem there, either.
We have a cable channel in North America, HGTV, that is about design and home decorating. It's shown the BBC series Trading Up, although not at the moment. Looking inside UK homes, admittedly those chosen to benefit most from quicky sprucing-up, the obvious oddity is how often they have the most appalling carpets imaginable — worse then anything you ever see over here. I don't know why that is.
91: I too saw a lot of horrible carpets in the UK, although firsthand, not via the telly.
When an American friend and I were looking for an apartment in London, in one of the places the owner had just put in carpet in the kitchen and was bragging about it like it was a major selling point.
Fortunately we found this crazy architect who needed two roomates and who owned a rustic but lovely tall thin semi-detached in East Dulwich with hardwood floors on every landing. His bedroom was on the ground floor and mine was above his but he never complained about any noise.
Far worse than white shag was the olive-avocado color of the carpet in my parents' house. The carpet was flat and molded into raised patterns, and it covered the living room and dining room.
When they tore it up they discovered beautiful hardwood floors underneath. I hope under your carpet is pretty wood floors.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 9:53 PM
I hope under your carpet no longer, and have to find a new place to hide.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 9:59 PM
Ooh, we had the same carpet in my folks' house when I was a kid! So lovely.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:01 PM
God, don't even get me started. Our house has a bunch of maroon carptet in the upstairs, and one of the smaller bedrooms upstairs is fucking turquoise. I'm hoping to have enough money saved by the end of the year to rip it all out and put slate and bamboo as far as the eye can see.
Posted by gswift | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:04 PM
Do y'all like to go barefoot at home? Carpet is better for that, I think. But still....
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:11 PM
Don't fuck with me, Ogged, or I'll off you too.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:12 PM
I've already been stapled, Bob Villa, you can't scare me. Anyway, I wasn't disagreeing.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:14 PM
Labs, you may want to consider, for your guests' sakes, that carpet is easier on the knees.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:16 PM
When I bought a pair of kneepads at Home Depot I was surprised that no one seemed that amused by my fellatio jokes. imagine.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:18 PM
Re. barefoot and hard woods, I've totally decided that when we move, we are buying a Roomba.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:20 PM
What percentage of fellatios are actually given while the fellater is on his/her knees, do you think? It seems a rather contrived, pornish pose, and one an otherwise willing fellater might object to.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:21 PM
I really hope 9 is true, and that you made fellatio jokes at Home Depot.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:21 PM
Given Labs's height, it's not clear that the kneepads are for future fellaters.
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:23 PM
We should totally compare notes on #11. Do you mean, on knees while fellatee is standing? B/c on knees while fellatee is standing, lying, or sitting, I'd estimate my percentage would be pretty high: 80-90%. It's just more comfortable.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:25 PM
Yeah, I mean while the fellatee is standing.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:27 PM
one an otherwise willing fellater might object to.
I'll omit an aside about Mrs. Wolfson. This is so true, but the iconography of sodomy is fixed in the popular imagination. You go to the comment box with the allusions you've got.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:27 PM
Okay, standing I'd have to say a lot lower, maybe 5% max. But not because I particularly object. Actually, I don't really know why, come to think of it.
Someone else here has to share, people. Ogged, what percentage of blow jobs have you received while standing?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:30 PM
16: You do realize that Mrs. W. found out about this blog, right?
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:32 PM
It really depends on the venue.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:32 PM
18 - Does she actually read it or is she kind enough to know of its existance but not acknowledge it or read it?
Posted by Becks | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:33 PM
A blow job while standing I don't think I've ever received. It would feel squicky, I'm pretty sure. And my memory might be playing tricks, but I think once it was about to happen, given where the bodies where at the time, etc., and the young lady just said "no" and had me lay down. It only occurs to me now that I should have made a "my way or the hershey highway" remark.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:35 PM
Mrs. Wolfson comments under the name DominEditrix.
Posted by Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:35 PM
20: I don't know, but if she does read it, it seems kind of tacky to make jokes about her. We should mock Ben's girlfriend or something instead.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:35 PM
If you're Mrs. W, are you proud or worried that your son is the grammar scourge of the Internets?
Posted by SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:35 PM
It would feel squicky
Nope.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:38 PM
Actually, I don't really know why, come to think of it.
While the fellatee is standing requires a lot more trust and understanding between the two people because when the guy is standing, he has a wider range of motion for thrusting than when sitting or lying down. The fellater is in much less control of making sure things stay withing acceptable limits with regard to gag reflex, etc.
Posted by Skceb | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:41 PM
if she does read it, it seems kind of tacky to make jokes about her
It's a little late for that, don't you think? And it was Wolfson who started the YOUR MOM tradition at Unfogged, so no way does he get off the hook with "Oh no, my mom reads this thing." Anyway, wait, let me take my dick out of her mouth...yup, Ben's mom says she's cool with it.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:42 PM
See, I disagree with 26. On my knees, I feel like I can way more easily move away. Plus, I guess I'm fucking lazy, and I hate having to bob my head up and down and up and down and up and down and blah blah. It's boring. At least the standing/kneeling (or sitting/kneeling) setup is a little more mutual. When the guy's lying down, I feel like I'm "servicing" him, and it kind of annoys me sometimes.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:44 PM
26, you are such an engineer.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:45 PM
when the guy is standing, he has a wider range of motion for thrusting than when sitting or lying down.
Thank god we have porn to teach us that what women really enjoy, among other things, is a good skull fucking.
Posted by gswift | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:46 PM
When the guy's lying down, I feel like I'm "servicing" him, and it kind of annoys me sometimes.
When the girl's kneeling, I feel like she's "servicing" me, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:50 PM
we are buying a Roomba.
Don't stop there.
Also, only eight comments before this thread turned to sex. Impressive.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:53 PM
27: It's not that *he* should get off the hook. It's that joking about fucking someone who overhears you saying it, but isn't actually part of your friend network, is crappy.
Although I suppose fair enough, she isn't the intended blog audience and for all I know isn't reading. But still. Ick.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:53 PM
When the girl's kneeling, I feel like she's "servicing" me, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
I've found that kneeling down to return the favor a few times is a remarkable way of curing that discomfort.
Posted by JAC | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:54 PM
31: Well, tough shit. If I'm giving the blow job, my comfort is more important.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:54 PM
34: Exactly. Plus, fewer cricks in the neck (at least, if you're kneeling down at the foot of the bed, say). I mean, really: any position where your head and spine are in alignment is going to be more comfortable than one where they're at an angle somewhere between 45-90 degrees.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:56 PM
The obvious compromise here is leaning back in your armchair while watching tv.
Posted by gswift | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 10:57 PM
34: Exactly. Plus, fewer cricks in the neck (at least, if you're kneeling down at the foot of the bed, say). I mean, really: any position where your head and spine are in alignment is going to be more comfortable than one where they're at an angle somewhere between 45-90 degrees.
Although when the floor would be really hard on the knees or just super uncomfortable, I've known girls to do it from standing by just bending at the waist. Wood floors don't necessarily have this problem, though I'd imagine tile and stone would be a bitch. My high school dorm rooms just had the worst carpet ever.
Posted by JAC | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 11:03 PM
What's the matter with you people? I was just wondering what portion of blowjobs were given in the iconic way. The answer seems to be: not many.
Posted by ogged | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 11:03 PM
Bending at the waist? Fuck that. That *would* feel freakishly submissive.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 11:04 PM
35: I've never heard anyone say that kneeling was particularly comfortable before. I certainly can't kneel for more than one minute without starting to wobble a lot.
Also, the "tough shit" was unnecessary. You often seem to be assuming that people who frequently comment sympathetically on intensely feminist-friendly and intellectual blogs like this one and yours are secretly closed-minded male supermacists who need to have some sense knocked into them by what will probably be the first woman they've ever heard say a dirty word. Please stop assuming the worst.
I've found that kneeling down to return the favor a few times is a remarkable way of curing that discomfort.
I tried that once and it was ludicrously awkward for both of us, partially because of the 14-inch height difference.
Posted by Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 11:07 PM
I seem to assume what? I assume that people can take a joke, is what I assume.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 6-06 11:11 PM
1. I think that wall-to-wall carpet might be a generational thing. My mom can't understand at all why I hate carpet so much, even when I try to explain to her the utter soul-sucking power of a rental house's dingy carpet. Everyone I know who's my age absolutely refuses to move into a house or apartment with carpet, unless they're financially desperate. I'd rather live with a shitty scratched up splintery hardwood floor than a carpet.
2. Despite the "servicing" symbolism (though when it's two guys, the down-on-your-knees thing isn't as politically charged), I'd rather kneel on a hardwood floor to give a blowjob than do it to a guy who's lying on his back -- it makes my neck tired and sore, working from that angle. And when he's standing up, he can move and thrust and I don't have to do all the work.
Posted by John T | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 12:38 AM
41:
I certainly can't kneel for more than one minute without starting to wobble a lot.
As a recovering Catholic girl, I know some people who can beat that feebleness right out of you.
Just say the word.
Posted by Emily | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 1:16 AM
Just for the record: the fellating agent is a "fellator," not a "fellater."
Posted by bza | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 1:44 AM
I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't actually read this blog, and that, having done her best to get me to know and respect the use of the English subjunctive, and as a former English teacher, she'd be quite pleased to learn that I'm the grammar scourge of the internets.
Posted by ben wolfson | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 2:23 AM
Everybody seems very taken with "fellatee" -- a more apposite choice would be "irrumator".
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:02 AM
Everybody seems very taken with "fellatee"
Well, they'd have to be, really, wouldn't they?
Posted by Felix | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:09 AM
Dunno. I'd think "irrumator" would be a bit more pejorative than people are thinking here - a *lot* more, if my recollection of Catullus is right.
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:24 AM
reaching for my copy of "Politics and the English Language", I find myself wanting to strike out against the introduction of a polysyllabic Latinism of dubious provenance and stand up for the simple demotic Anglo-Saxon "cocksucker". Although I must admit that I am at a loss for a specific citation to the works of Orwell; the index in my edition of the Collected Essays is worse than useless.
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:31 AM
In my simple demotic cocksucker!=fellatee. Rather the reverse.
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:40 AM
ahhh see this is why I never became a High Court Judge, never had the Latin for it. There isn't a simple Anglo-Saxon word for "one who is the recipient of oral sex", perhaps because the practice was unknown in the British Isles before the arrival of your mum.
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:41 AM
Nah, Noel Coward had an anecdote from before WW1. Odd that there isn't a word for something so mundane though.
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:47 AM
perhaps we could try to make "headless man" catch on, as a tribute to the dear departed Duchess of Argyll?
Posted by dsquared | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:49 AM
Worth a try. Want to explain this one to our transatlantic friends?
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:53 AM
Valentine's Day card ideas -- running thru my head --
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:53 AM
insert line breaks in the second verse -- damned HTML!
I want Joe D. to score it.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:54 AM
55: Never fear, I looked it up. Note the "characteristic pearl necklace."
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:54 AM
"signature... pearl necklace," rather.
Posted by Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:55 AM
Definitely a carpet job, too
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:03 AM
Suppose Daleks, rather than "exterminate . . . exterminate . . . exterminate", had gone "irrumate . . . irrumate . . . irrumate." Would they have been more or less terrifying to small children back in the '70s?
I don't think that's an easy question to answer.
Posted by Felix | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:05 AM
more or less terrifying to small children
Perhaps I did not watch Dr. Who early enough -- the Daleks never seemed anything other than hilariously campy.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:12 AM
the Daleks never seemed anything other than hilariously campy.
Yeah, metal sleestaks.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:16 AM
the Daleks never seemed anything other than hilariously campy.
But would they have seemed more terrifying had they demanded constantly and with robotic intensity that they be sexually serviced?
Perhaps the writers missed a trick there.
Posted by Felix | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:17 AM
I so wish Tom Baker and Louise Jameson had done low-budget pr0n flicks on the side, with Daleks in supporting roles. My world would be marginally closer to complete.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:23 AM
Landlords put carpet on nice hardwood floors to protect the valuable floors. Perhaps homeowners do too.
I've been researching internet porn recently. My purpose is to investigate their Mapplethorpian use of light and shadow, of course, and I strictly bracket out my own erotic response as irrelevant to my study, but watching women give guys blowjobs is definitely not my thing.
Posted by John Emerson | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:36 AM
I don't remember finding the Daleks scary and I'm prime 70s Dr Who age. I was 9 when Baker stopped being the Doctor.
I did find some of the other monsters scary though, iirc.
Posted by nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:37 AM
Like most people around here, I prefer wood floors, but don't carpets reduce heating costs?
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:51 AM
43: thank you, John, for returning this thread to its orginal topic.
When I was tearing the stuff out, I kept wondering what these people were thinking. Did it really look good at the time? It's hard to imagine, but so many things about that style mystify me.
Posted by FL | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:54 AM
JM: Short answer, yes. Longer answer, you can insulate your wood floor adequately if you are/know a competent builder, but carpet may be cheaper.
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:57 AM
Guys: Wood floors should not, properly, be left bare. This does not mean wall-to-wall carpeting is acceptable. Area rugs are the way to go -- you get the beauty of the wood floors around the edges of the room where there is not a lot of walking going on, you save on heating, you get the nice æsthetic experience of lovely area rugs.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:00 AM
If you live above someone else, carpets are pretty much a must.
If you've ever lived in a flat below someone with wooden floors it could drive you to murder. Very very quickly.
Posted by nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:00 AM
(Also they are good for bare feet and knees.)
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:01 AM
(And for downstairs neighbors' ears.)
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:02 AM
I will walk barefoot on wood floors, but not on carpet. Ick.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:05 AM
71 Gets it exactly right. Decent Persian rugs can be had on eBay surprisingly cheap over here. Is this not the case in the States?
Also, if you're on the ground floor, you probably still need to think about underfloor insulation.
Posted by OneFatEnglishman | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:10 AM
Suppose Daleks, rather than "exterminate . . . exterminate . . . exterminate", had gone "irrumate . . . irrumate . . . irrumate." Would they have been more or less terrifying to small children back in the '70s?
At least one '70s-era Dr. Who companion seemed to think that's what they said. (NSFW)
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:13 AM
If you've ever lived in a flat below someone with wooden floors it could drive you to murder.
For about the last eight years; I've learned to deal--and also to walk rather quietly on my rickety floors.
Posted by Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:21 AM
One of the not-so-bright things the owners of my current rental did was to put wall-to-wall carpets in exactly two rooms in the house - the bathroom and the kitchen. Everything else is exposed wood. I think they decided that the floor needed some renovation, and happened to have a big roll of office-floor carpet around.....
Posted by Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:33 AM
Not being a fellator myself, I'm assuming area rugs would be acceptable for a person who wants both bare floors and blowjobs.
BTW, I admire you all for not making a pun on "shag carpet." Very classy, that restraint -- it's one of the reasons I visit Unfogged.
Posted by jmcq | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 8:57 AM
If you've ever lived in a flat below someone with wooden floors it could drive you to murder. Very very quickly.
Yeah, this is the sort of thing that makes me so happy my building has 6 inches of concrete between floors. Throw on a floating wood floor and a suspended ceiling, and there's a completely blissful lack of noise from above and below.
You can still hear the next door people, though (thankfully they're quiet fellators).
Also, I'll agree with the area rug business, especially for areas under furniture. If you can get a good flat rug for under the dining room table and living room it stops the chairs from scratching up a beautiful floor.
Posted by JAC | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 9:12 AM
Unlike jmcq, I am disappointed that noone, not even wolfson, has made the obvious "Labs' carpet so shaggy, it ain't that shaggy" joke.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 9:15 AM
Hardwood floors don't work too well if you have a series of kids going through the first year or two of standing up and walking. Lots of falling down on their giant heads.
Posted by Anonymous | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 10:32 AM
My eighteen-month-old had the good fortune of learning to walk in my house that has brick floors. He spent most of the time looking like he'd just come out on the losing end of a prizefight. So far, no sign of brain damage.
Posted by apostropher | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 10:56 AM
Hardwood floors are also great for shattering the illusion of cool and dignity that cats try to maintain at all times.
They also heighten dogs' natural genius for physical comedy.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 12:23 PM
Tiled or linoleum hallways are good for that too.
Posted by Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 12:24 PM
1: Far worse than white shag was the olive-avocado color of the carpet in my parents' house.
Not necessarily so bad, so long as it matches the drapes.
Posted by My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 12:33 PM
PK learned to walk on hardwood without carpets. The clunks never seemed to bother him.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 12:57 PM
>If you've ever lived in a flat below someone with wooden floors it could drive you to murder.
I used to live in a hard-wood-floored one bedroom apartment with 3 kids and we drove the downstairs neighbor to move.
Posted by joe o | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 4:43 PM
I had an ex g/friend who lived in an attic apartment with hardwood floors. Her downstairs neighbour used to constantly complain about the noise even though we weren't noisy nor were we clumpy walkers. I always thought she was batty until I experienced the same thing a few years later. It sounds like you are living beneath a heard of elephants. Other sounds, music and speech, for example, also carry much more.
3 kids and hardwood floors! I'd have moved too.
re: 88
When I was little we lived in a caravan -- impoverished hippy parents -- and I learned to walk very early but didn't learn to crawl as there was something to grab on to everywhere. When we moved to a house we had hardwood floors -- painted with hippy paintings -- and apparently that's when I learned to crawl. Clunking wasn't a problem there, either.
Posted by nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 4:52 PM
Matt:
We have a cable channel in North America, HGTV, that is about design and home decorating. It's shown the BBC series Trading Up, although not at the moment. Looking inside UK homes, admittedly those chosen to benefit most from quicky sprucing-up, the obvious oddity is how often they have the most appalling carpets imaginable — worse then anything you ever see over here. I don't know why that is.
Posted by I don't pay | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 4:58 PM
PK learned to walk on hardwood without carpets. The clunks never seemed to bother him.
You'll be singing a different tune when he turns 18 and registers as a Republican.
Posted by gswift | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 5:11 PM
Yeah, well, if he does that I'll just refuse to send him to college.
Posted by bitchphd | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 5:34 PM
Ah, now I know where my neck problems originate.
I think perhaps I should reconsider the wall to wall carpet...brick floors are indeed a bitch.
Posted by Roberta | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 5:44 PM
Yeah, well, if he does that I'll just refuse to send him to college.
Which he'll then fund by his tell-all book.
My boyfriend is anti-carpet (hush you) because he thinks it's bad for babies. Area rugs can be taken to cleaners.
Posted by Cala | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:16 PM
91: I too saw a lot of horrible carpets in the UK, although firsthand, not via the telly.
When an American friend and I were looking for an apartment in London, in one of the places the owner had just put in carpet in the kitchen and was bragging about it like it was a major selling point.
Fortunately we found this crazy architect who needed two roomates and who owned a rustic but lovely tall thin semi-detached in East Dulwich with hardwood floors on every landing. His bedroom was on the ground floor and mine was above his but he never complained about any noise.
Posted by M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:19 PM
They also heighten dogs' natural genius for physical comedy.
Lord yes. I wish I had video'd our dog skidding wildly around corners and down hallways.
Posted by slolernr | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:28 PM
Carpet is bad for people with allergies, too. It traps mold, pet dander, dust and other nasty stuff. You can never completely clean it.
If I ever had my own house I would have a house with no carpet. It would be a happy existence without the constant sneezing.
Posted by winna | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 6:35 PM
Then all the dust would be from...human skin!
Posted by Chopper | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:23 PM
1 Hundred
Posted by Rob Thomas | Link to this comment | 08- 7-06 7:35 PM