Re: You'd Think A Nation Founded As A Penal Colony Would Be More Understanding

1

It's probably not actually all that likely you'd do gaol time. It happens all the time. The people behind you in line may have had the urge to kill though. At Sydney at least, regular traveller lore is that it's faster to buy a chocolate bar and declare it than it is to go through the nothing to declare section.

However, there are no guarentees. I once flew into Sydney from Bangkok and wanted to declare some random wooden trinkets and a packet of chocolate bikkies and got stuck behind a woman bringing in a couple of big bags of unidentified dried herbs. She didn't speak English and was also mostly blind and couldn't read the "Australia does not want your random big bags of unidentifed herbs" info sheets they had helpful translated into about 18 languages. So they ran around asking if anyone spoke Chinese while half the passengers gave them dirty looks and pointed out that they were Thai and the other half muttered "which Chinese language do you mean, exactly?" until the next shift came on, which had a customs officer who spoke the same language as the woman with the herbs and I finally got my stuff checked. And didn't turn violent. But I wanted to.

We even have a show about it that I'm meant to be watching for my computing PhD (don't even ask). Border Security. I've seen exactly one episode in which a kindly mother tries to bring some duck meat and chicken feet into New Zealand for her daughter. That didn't go so well either. Mothers everywhere are worried that the antipodes can't feed their children well.

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2

Hilary Swank was fined two hundred dollars for trying to import a half-eaten apple (or something along those lines) into New Zealand. She appealed - presumably invoking the movie-star-exemption clause - but lost. I have a feeling Becks might be lucky she's in Australia.

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3

29: Beagles are indeed the most adorable of dogs, but they're actually kind of stubborn and can be sort of obnoxious in person.

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They do indeed use totally cute beagles to sniff your bag. Also, I was not the person who was going to be thrown in the slammer -- it was my mom, who was the unfortunate soul who signed the customs declaration form. I sailed through, which was almost worse as they took mom and Teammate away and wouldn't let us see them. I would have much rather dealt with customs myself than know my mom was off getting interrogated.

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5

I was not the person who was going to be thrown in the slammer -- it was my mom, who was the unfortunate soul who signed the customs declaration form.

Luckily, Tim had a replacement lined up.

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6

But would you rather be arrested than let her find out about your penis pump?

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7

"Nine times out of ten, it's an ordinary electric razor. But every once in a while..."

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8

Nine times out of ten it's an ordinary electric razor that can play Mornington Crescent and weighs less than a pack of cigarettes.

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9

From that link in #38

Amin may not want his mother to know he has a penis pump, but he said he doesn't consider it an unusual device to own.

"It's normal," he said. "Half of America they use it."

Uh, half?

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