Re: I Am Friendly, Hear Me Whine

1

at 6'0", 150 lb, you may have to give up on 'menacing', unless you're going for the we-suck-young-blood emaciated vampire look.

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Have you tried tying a towel around your head?

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Been listening to Radiohead recently, Matt?

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4

Well, first accept that it's at least possible that the kid took her eye off of the maternal affection ball for a moment, and, when her attention returned, she immediately moved to the leg of the most feminine person in line. Second, start wearing a leather hood, like the Gimp in Pulp Fiction.

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On the emaciated vampire point—these girls discovered what startling effects a simple change of clothes can effect. Lose the Banana Republic slacks and get a Bauhaus shirt.

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6

You're not reading my blog, Wolfson. I'm hurt.

Hail to the Thief is their best album--discuss.

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7

We're not friends anymore, Timmy.

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I am reading your blog, luser, and it's the fact that you've now used that phrase twice recently that makes me comment.

I'm not prepared to discuss that topic, so I'd like to present the following alternate topic: "Wolf at the Door" is the best song on Hail to the Thief.

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Unclosed tag in 5! Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

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Everything is links! Nooo!

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11

wear an eyepatch.

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12

I like the whole album, and each track for different reasons, but "Backdrifts" is my favorite at the moment.

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You thought, perhaps, when I mentioned singing "We Suck Young Blood" in the shower (on the blog) I was thinking of some other song by that title?

Or perhaps you were merely trying to start conversation in a friendly way, and were put off by my hostility. I don't know that I have a favorite. The other day I started with "Backdrifts" and put it on shuffle for two more tracks, which were WSYB and "Myxomatosis"--seemed like a nice little summary of the album. Maybe I go for "Backdrifts."

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14

Tell everyone about your concealed carry license.

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15

GMTA, Cala!

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16

Tatoo your knuckles. It might work.

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17

I kid because I love, ogged. (And I love because it sounds like you're a Size 2.)

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18

No, I thought you were thinking of that song. But it's only your persistent reference to it that made me think that you really had it on your mind, and had been listening to it recently. OK? Cheesus.

There's this guitar part for a short bit of "Wolf at the Door" that's practically buried in the mix and you have to pay attention to it but man, it makes the song. It makes the song the best.

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The Anton LaVey solution: 1) shave head; 2) grow goatee.

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20

Tatoo your knuckles. It might work.

Best yet! "HATE" and "LOVE". Chilllldrennnnnnn...

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21

I had the springsteen song in mind when writing that.

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22

Focus, people, focus! The topic was "Hail to the Thief"--which I actually only purchased in Austin at the end of May, which was why it has been in my head. The topic now is whether, with 17, SCMT has become the leading candidate to reset Ogged's Tivo. "I love because it sounds like you're a size 2," indeed.

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Actually, given the sweetitude of SCMT's 4, I should lay off. That was sweet.

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@ #15: Huh? Brain fuzzy. Blaming metaphysics.

B-wo -- where in 'Wolf At the Door'? (Cues it up on the iPod.)

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'great minds think alike'

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Although apparently great minds have trouble with acronyms.

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I like the whole album, and each track for different reasons, but "Backdrifts" is my favorite at the moment.

I am amazed to hear this. No offense, but I can't stand that song. It always strikes me as the most blase, cliched IDM that I could possibly imagine Thom Yorke shitting out in five or so minutes. It sounds effortless. In a bad way.

I do like HTTF, and think it has some very good songs (esp. the title track) but it's not very cohesive as an album. Seems like RH has entered a holding pattern after the reinvention of the preceding two albums.

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28

Scowl.

If you really, truly can not scowl, then wet yourself.

No one will come near you.

Oh, wait, you want mean.

Shave your head and grow a royale, and get a few eyebrow piercings.

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While head-shaving is good advice, I have the skinniest, pointiest head in the world. I would only be funny.

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*mentally replays WATD*

I think it might be there the ... second time Yorke sings "I'll keep the wolf from the door"? It's a very rapid picking sound. It's cool.

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Piercings count as drastic, I think.

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32

Hail to the Thief or OK Computer ? Tough call. OK Computer , just for "Let Down."

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33

Do like Cornfed Pig and artificially deepen your voice.

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Ben, I'm going for non-verbal strategies; if I have to talk, I've already failed.

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What is this "Radiohead" of which you speak? I've heard of them, but haven't heard them. Also "Coldplay," which I keep hearing about, but have never heard. Are these things you humans hear on the radio, or from friends, or what? Howcome I don't know about any of these bands?

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36

I just discovered Po' Girl, who are good.

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37

tom: No offense taken -- what I like about the song is really just the contrast with the fluttery sorts of rhythms (keyboardy vibraphony thingy) with the main melody; unsettling vs. kind of lamenting.

Of course, if you don't like "Let Down", this means war. ;-)

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38

Maybe it's because I know jack about IDM, but I disagree about HTTF and cohesion. One thing I like about it is that there aren't any tracks I don't like. On OK Computer, "Let Down" does exactly what it says--there's another couple of songs in the second half that are weak. Kid A is way cohesive but some of the tracks wouldn't stand up on their own. And Amnesiac isn't even supposed to hang together.

guess what you call holding pattern, I call a synthesis of the experimentation with song form.

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39

Woops. 15 is retracted.

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40

Okay, okay, we're making progress.

Tats? Temporary, if need be. Something like "God is Death" on your arm. Then hide your eyes with sunglasses, and scowl.

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41

Now, now, Matt. Don't give up your claims to greatness that easily.

But you're right about the second half being weak. I think song for song, though HTTT has as many weak songs; it's just that they're better spaced out than on OC.

Kid A is great to listen to as a whole, but each track oddly doesn't stand up on its own.

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42

Hmm... so we have Tatooed knuckles, eyebrow piercing, goatee and a shaved head and an eye patch. All that is now missing is gold front teeth,followed perhaps by a Schmiss (duelling scar), and appropriately baggy trousers.

There's a career waiting as a style consultant... I can see it now.

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38 -- disagree, disagree. I enjoy Let Down, and the placement of such.

I am an old fogey with regard to radiohead, and contend that the perfection of popular music was acheived in OK Computer.

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Of course, if you don't like "Let Down", this means war. ;-)

No problem there. Backdrifts might be at the bottom of my all-time favorite RH songs, but Let Down is certainly at the top.

Matt seems to disagree. I'd like to argue, but I just don't know how to proceed. Well, how to proceed without cursing, at any rate.

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I have the skinniest, pointiest head in the world

Probably not.

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We could put him in the comfy chair and poke him with the soft cushions.

More for our own amusement, of course. One cannot argue matters of taste except to say, "But 'Let Down' pwnz!!!11!!'"

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47

Just the knowledge that you have become a basso profundo will lend you a new air of menace, ogged.

Also: coldplay: teh suck.

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48

Probably not.

Closer than you think.

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49

If you truly want "mean" and not simply "hot but dangerous" I think you need ratty jeans, wifebeater tank top, fake scar from the corner of your mouth up your cheek, short spike hair, sunglasses, and a "God is Death" tattoo.

Whew. Yeah. That is as far as I can take it.

I doubt many sprogs will be hugging your leg.

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50

#36

Speaking of Vancouver bands have you listened to the Clumsy Lovers? I'm a fan of the Barnburner album and they have a song based on the Kierkegaard's "Stages on life's way" that is very good.

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51

While head-shaving is good advice, I have the skinniest, pointiest head in the world. I would only be funny.

I note that clowns can be both funny and very, very scary. Especially to kids.

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52

Tatoo a teardrop on your cheeck, preferably using a sharpened spring torn from a prison bed, with charcoal as the base for your ink. And a spiderweb on your left elbow.

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53

Also, Viagra and a couple socks placed over the relevant portion of your anatomy--people tend too shy from the obviously priapic.

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to

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Don't whatever you do, Tatoo your Czech though.

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56

* looks round for Wolfson*

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57

Get you one of these t-shirts and a Shi'ite Pride trucker's cap and loudly ask store clerks where they keep their box cutters. I guarantee you mommy won't let her kid anywhere near your leg.

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58

I love the shirt.

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59

"Just do it."

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60

Not the soft cushions!!!

41: I'm not retracting my claim to greatness, just to alikehood. (After all, for GMTA to be false, we have to exhibit two great minds that do not think alike.)

I'm a little surprised nobody's nuked me for ignoring The Bends yet. Everybody else seems to wuv it. I've heard it once in its entirety, later in bits, and have always disliked it for I think the same reasons I don't like "Let Down": teh whiny.

And, since we're at war, let it be this kind (yes ben, I'm recycling my links).

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61

The Bends is good stuff, yes. Not really any more whiny than their later albums, just less pretentious. If you don't like teh whiny, teh Thom Yorke maybe isn't your thing.

Perfect amount of pretention: Ok Computer. Perfect amount of everything: Ok Computer.

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I've been thinking of starting a "proudly pretentious" movement. It's part of my mission statement.

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63

Foomp!

Good word. Very friendly. Foomp, foomp, foomp.

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Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe people you are loved and feared. Like "Uncle Joe" Stalin.

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*minus the "people"

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Maybe you're right. I should think of all the kids that don't come running.

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Cartoon onomatopoeia is the highest form of non-verbal utterance. Foomp is a tasty 'poeia, but is any more sublime than the gagoing of bugging-out eyeballs?

Hey, ogged, if you indulged in a prophylactic gagoing, the young 'uns mightn't foomp so readily.

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Hey, I can be like the apostropher: time to work on the thyroid (link kinda gross).

Maybe "Foomp!" is like "Yahoo!" always with the exclamation.

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Yeesh. Why don't we just incorporate by reference the whole of rotten.com and be done with it.

Anyway, we're agreed on the exclamations.

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Apostropher is banned!

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71

That was easy.

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72

Or you could continue the frathaus theme ...

IMX, toddlers aren't afraid of odd-looking people. Except maybe clowns. Goths, punks, IRS agents - they're all the same to a toddler seeking a leg to clutch. The trick is to scare the parents.

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That shirt would be hilarious if it were all transliterated into the ancient greek alphabet.

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is banned!

Necessobangs everywhere!

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Uh, sorry for getting so much neologism on the blog. I'm having a problem with premature vernaculation.

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Cripes! I can't believe I didn't see it before. The best plans make use of the available material. What 6' hipster who weighs only 150 lbs is anyone afraid of? Drug Fiend Guy. Ogged, just constantly lick and smack your lips while in public; if still too appealing, occasionally roll up your sleeve and tap your inner arm at the elbow joint as if looking for an uncollapsed vein.

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Ooh! A music discussion! (Gradual delurking continuing....)

HTTF = Hail to the Feet? Oh, the things I don't want to know about Thom Yorke.

I agree with #60: The Bends is a pretty solid rock album, and Thom Yorke is whiny no matter what. I like most of the Radiohead albums, and OK Computer is probably the high point, but don't sell The Bends short. The pre-pretentious phase was good (modulo much of Pablo Honey), though maybe with "HTTF" they move into some new posttentious territory.

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Err. 60, 61, close enough.

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79

And if you're really lucky, you can become scary enough that this little girl doesn't come cling to your leg...

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80

As with any sort of stain caused by a bodily fluid, it's best to clean the stain as soon as possible, preferably while it is still wet. However, if you can't get to the stain until first thing in the morning, you should still have a chance at salvaging your undies. Try mixing one-half teaspoon of dishwashing soap or fine-fabric detergent into one cup (8 oz.) of warm water. Apply a small amount, blotting until the stain is removed. Since your stain is dry this might take a while, but it should at least get most of the yellow tinge off of your boxers. Rinse your underwear with cold water once you are satisfied with how they look. If the stain persists, try mixing one part white vinegar and two parts water, applying a small amount and blotting — but do this only once. Finally, put your underwear through a cycle in the washer and dryer. Of course, you can avoid this hassle just by masturbating with some tissues or a towel nearby. That way you can mop up your semen right away, without having to get up from your bed, preserving your underwear in the process.

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I really should have adapted it to the blog, but I haven't had dinner yet.

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Is anyone else uncertain as to why ogged just posted that?

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I don't know. He was just talking about how little kids were attracted to him.

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84

Perhaps he absent-mindedly transcribed some conversation he was having?

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Standpipe understands.

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I'm sure I don't.

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Okay, yeah, I do. You really should have adapted it, though.

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I know, now I feel lazy and bad, but I was hungry.

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Premature vernaculation?

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You were, were you?

Whenever I'm masturbating I really want to eat my semen, but when I finally ejaculate, I get grossed out by the idea. What can I do to make myself eat it?
This is quite common. The loss of desire to eat your semen once you ejaculate goes along with the post-ejaculation loss of interest in sex in general. I don't think there's anything you can do to "make" yourself eat it. You could, of course, save your semen from the previous ejaculation and warm it in the microwave! (Whatever you do, though, don't keep it in the refrigerator in a container marked "non-dairy creamer"!)

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getting so much neologism on the blog

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Nice, SB. A topic we like:

Now, I've never been asked to do this, but let's be honest: even men and women who really love performing oral sex need to be in the moment, hormones flowing, to really enjoy it. No one wants essence de genitals as a side with lunch, right? So you've just gotten off, you're enjoying your afterglow...and someone tries to feed you the stuff...of course it's going to be gross.
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I remember that post! "Essence de genitals" brings it all back. Good grief, it only got 10 comments.

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Simpler times, ya know?

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95

Remember when ogged had a job thing, and Bob did most of the posting? That like, happened.

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I think one of my first comments here was to volunteer to tell a story involving a blowjob & yogurt. But someone talked me out of it.

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Bob! I remember him!

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ac, let's hear it. (God, you love being asked to tell stories.)

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SB, how long have you been reading?? Why did you keep quiet, and what motivated you to comment?

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I was going to say it's probably a good thing.

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I remember that! That's when Fontana was brought aboard, nicht wahr?

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102

Gosh ... *sniff* ... the memories...

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That's right, Ben.

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104

Fontana introduces himself as a "guest blogger".

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And then goes nuts.

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106

I've been at least an occasional reader for I can't remember how long. It's hard to judge with accuracy now, because, since achieving "regularity", I've absorbed many references to beloved historical Unfoggiana that might otherwise serve as landmarks.

In the beginning, I didn't even bother to read the comments. I was new to blogs, and my experience with the comments on other blogs – at that point probably just Yglesias and one or two others – was, shall we say, sub-premium. Oh, if I had only known.

But eventually I figured it out. Reading comments, la la la. Time passed. Then one day, w/d started commenting. And then it occurred to me that when I start noticing the appearance of new commenters as such, it's time to either shoot myself, or prepare to delurk. I prepared, I delurked. Tada!

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107

30: Have we nailed down a minutes-seconds kind of thang?

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108

I was going to do that last night at home, but I forgot. Maybe it's on my mp3 player.

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Nope!

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e-mail me when you find out, I guess.

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I can't help but suspect you'll be disappointed.

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re: 106-

I had no idea I was so influential.

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113

Also re: 106-

I don't think Matt Y's posts have changed at all with the blog move, but for some reason his commenting community has changed completely.

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114

That's true, isn't it? That happened to someone else recently, but I can't remember who. By the way, anyone know how to get the comments at Yglesias's site to show up in the order they were left, rather than in ranked order?

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115

The order change of the comments on Yglesias's site makes it impossible for commenters to reply to other commenters.

Plus, yesterday I had a comment shifted to the very end. I still think democrats need to rally behind single payer health care and I don't care who knows it.

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I hate TPMCafe. The content is mostly interesting, but I find the interface completely defeating.

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Agreed on the interface. Terrible.

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118

It's mainly the comments, right? The rest of the site doesn't seem so bad, considering what they're trying to do.

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119

I haven't worked out a list of complaints -- it's more of a visceral reaction at this point -- but I hate it generally. The discussion section is particularly awful, but I don't like the blogs either. (Format, of course, not content).

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mainly the comments

Yes, mainly, but the front page is so busy that it's distracting to try to read it.

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I just found out why LB wasn't commenting so much a few weeks ago. 15 hours, huh?

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122

Aside from the fact that no one's ever tried to pick me up by offering me Greek food, pretty much.

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It would be a stretch to describe Inwood as "a fashionable area of Manhattan", methinks.

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LB, wanna come upstairs and see my pita?

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If you've got a PITA, you should go to a proctologist, not a lawyer.