Re: Want, How?

1

She's a narc, duh.

horizontal rule
2

Gone in 30 seconds is how she'd feel about you in bed.

horizontal rule
3

re 2

geez, what a stupid comment. my only excuse is that it's really late here in europe and I'm still avoiding work prep for tomorrow.

horizontal rule
4

She must be new to town, and looking for a new meth connection.

horizontal rule
5

4, meet 1.

horizontal rule
6

That's what the old folks are calling it these days.

horizontal rule
7

By you, that's euphemistic?

horizontal rule
8

Is she fuckable?

horizontal rule
9

If so, you might want to go for it, just for the "belt notch." (I assume you already have a notch for "lesbian.")

horizontal rule
10

A fine question. She's quite attractive, actually. Tall, slender, long (formerly) blonde hair, big blue eyes, delicate features. On the other hand, she's probably around my mom's age. I imagine that 20 or even, ahem, 30 years ago, she was fantastically hot.

I don't have such a belt, Adam. We can't all be divinity school lotharios.

horizontal rule
11

52/2 + 7 = 33

horizontal rule
12

I'm guessing we're closer to 58/2 + 7 = 36.

horizontal rule
13

I would have gone for 52, but man, 58? Tough call.

horizontal rule
14

So you have to wait (36 - Ogged's age) * 2 years. You're a patient man, right?

OK, I'm going to pg's place to suggest that her November fun trip should be to Daddyville.

horizontal rule
15

Adam, aren't you, like, 24? What's this going for 52 business?

horizontal rule
16

I can't speak for Adam, but I know I saw The Graduate.

horizontal rule
17

25, actually.

horizontal rule
18

You should go for it, ogged—she might be a wealthy widow.

horizontal rule
19

Err . . . I sought clarification from the Smasher offline, but I still don't understand what's supposed to justify the x/2 + 7 formula. Apparently, this is common knowledge, but I never heard it.

horizontal rule
20

"Because it's the formula!" wasn't answer enough, apparently.

horizontal rule
21

This has been discussed here many times. In the olden days, back when men were men and women were young girls, it was bandied about as a formula for determining the optimal age of your wife-to-be. Now, it's become the formula for determining the minimal acceptable age for the rogering of a younger by an older person, regardless of the genders involved (certain combinations of gender may render "roger" an inapposite word).

It is common knowledge, spread about popular culture like hippo shit. I attribute your ignorance to your hoity-toity NYC and Harvard education. I wager Phoebe Maltz is similarly unenlightened.

horizontal rule
22

cw--where do you live in Europe?

horizontal rule
23

Right, I understand what the formula purports to do. But what's the justification. Why not +6 or +9?

What's more, the conclusion that it would be appropriate for me to date a nineteen year-old seems mistaken. That's like a college freshgirl, no?

horizontal rule
24

I had heard (from the always dependable "them") that the formula was developed by Jewish matchmakers, in which case I would expect that Yglesias and Maltz would have both been enlightened.

horizontal rule
25

LizardBreath says it's from Little Women, and ain't none of us going to argue with her.

It's probably unseemly to mention this, Matt Y., but on my own blog I'm arguing that you got pwned by Al.

horizontal rule
26

Question: howcome we're always making fun of Yglesias for his Harvard education, but not Weiner or baa?

(Note to Matt Y: yes, this is an apparent defense that's actually a setup to let people slam you some more.)

horizontal rule
27

Because I put my education to good use? (Sorry, BG.)

horizontal rule
28

Right, I understand what the formula purports to do. But what's the justification. Why not +6 or +9?

Because, just as every seventh year one must let one's field lie fallow, so too must add six years of maturation from half one's age before plowing one's inamorata. But wait! you say. You said "six years", not seven. Quite! This is because crafty people "sell" their fields for the seventh to a gentile. So really, you need seven years—if you're crafty.

horizontal rule
29

You internet peons mock me 'cuz your jealous of my awesome fame.

horizontal rule
30

Fuck. You're jealous. My achilles heel.

horizontal rule
31

haw haw

horizontal rule
32

And I thought you'd done it on purpose.

horizontal rule
33

re 21 how did an optimal age formula suddently morph into a minimum age one? And I still don't think 24/2+7=19 provides an intuitively correct answer.

horizontal rule
34

Think of it this way: Beginning grad students should stay away from freshmen. Junior faculty should stay away from undergrads. I think the numbers add up.

horizontal rule
35

Ogged, she's plainly uttering her love poem to you, one line at a time.

Your stroke is nice

I want your speed

etc.

I give you one more encounter before she asks you "To do the deed."

horizontal rule
36

What makes you think it happened suddenly? Anyway, one mechanism could be that knowledge of the formula was retained after it no longer became socially acceptable to have such young wives, leading it to be reinterpreted in a more acceptable way—and I'm not sure it would be completely unacceptable for you to date a 19-year-old. Remember, this is a bare-minimum condition here.

horizontal rule
37

how did an optimal age formula suddently morph into a minimum age one?

My guess is that we had this rule laying about, and acceptable age differences have become much smaller, so we used the rule we had.

horizontal rule
38

Also, it provides counterintuitive results for young people—eg, my ten-year-old can date 12-year-olds, but not 11-year-olds.

horizontal rule
39

Pwned, ogged.

horizontal rule
40

I also think the "optimum" idea is kind of self-defeating. Every other year do you have to dump your bride for the next year's model?

horizontal rule
41

It wouldn't be completely unacceptable, but one should expect to get a lot of shit for it. One of my coworkers married a girl at the low end of the 1/2 +7 continuum and every time his wife calls, his cubemate asks if she needed help with her algebra homework.

horizontal rule
42

I take issue with classifying "beaten to the post" as pwnage. I concede that I was beaten to the post.

horizontal rule
43

You should date people close your pwn age.

horizontal rule
44

every time his wife calls, his cubemate asks if she needed help with her algebra homework

Becks works with a nice bunch of folks.

horizontal rule
45

Indeed, the results are paradoxical. The youngest a 10 year-old can date is a 12, but a 12 needs to find someone who's at least 13.

horizontal rule
46

Yes, I love where I work.

horizontal rule
47

Actually, it could just be a way of enforcing a rule: no dating before you're 14.

horizontal rule
48

Standpipe is the real pwner here, but I fear that I have established the "beaten to the post" standard recently and before--occasionally with tragic consequences.

(Took me a while to get those links, I fear I will be pwned by my own petard....)

horizontal rule
49

I almost called it "Weiner's standard" when I took issue with it.

horizontal rule
50

No! No one cares! cf text.

horizontal rule
51

I'm yunger'n Adam, and while 52 is pushing it, I certainly couldn't rule out a woman in her 40s under the right conditions. I wouldn't say 52 was impossible, either, but the circumstances which would produce that are improbable.

horizontal rule
52

50 to 48, though I fear you're busted.

horizontal rule
53

This is a question worth teasing out. I initially told MY that his friends would mock him mercilessly if he dated someone who was 19, but I wouldn't have to sit him down or anything. But I'm not so sure. As MY rightly pointed out, this would be a college freshman he'd be bringing around. And we already mock him mercilessly, so that's not much of a disincentive.

horizontal rule
54

Dudes, 19 is a sophomore. Were you left back?

horizontal rule
55

Or did the Aggies redshirt you?

horizontal rule
56

I was held back, wanna fight about it?

horizontal rule
57

I was a junior at 19. A junior wouldn't be as creepy.

horizontal rule
58

54 to Armsmasher and Yggi, who are claiming that freshmen are 19.

horizontal rule
59

"I was held back" sounds like Shakespeare for "Someone grabbed my butt."

horizontal rule
60

It could also be a jr or sr, though. Or doctoral candidate. Don't be closed minded.

horizontal rule
61

"It" in 60 refers to "17"

horizontal rule
62

or 19, even.

horizontal rule
63

I turned 19 spring semester of my freshman year, was never held back, never went to A&M, and don't have to live in Lubbock.

horizontal rule
64

Ouch.

horizontal rule
65

Late start?

horizontal rule
66

58: and 56 refers to 54. punk.

horizontal rule
67

If you do date someone "too young," it has to be someone smokin' hot, so that people will think you're shallow but not necessarily immature.

horizontal rule
68

BTW, mission accomplished. Yglesias gets a fruit basket!

horizontal rule
69

"Too young"? you can get married in my home state at 12! It doesn't matter if she's younger as long as you make an honest woman out of her!

horizontal rule
70

Note that the "can go to bars" barrier is in fact significant.

horizontal rule
71

Ogged makes a good point in 67. Dating someone young but not hott makes people think you just have control issues or can't handle someone your age. Young + foreign makes people question even more (as in my coworker's case).

horizontal rule
72

Well, if you want to be sending Yglesias a fruit basket, or have anything you want to say to him, or debts to settle, you best hurry.

horizontal rule
73

I had a really creepy experience where the age of the guy interested in me was greater than X/2 plus 7.

It was the spring of my Freshman year in college, and I was taking a 4th semester Greek class on the Iliad. There were a couple of grad students in the class who were taking it for personal enrichment. One was a doctoral student in Chinese. The other was in the Government department and justified the class, because he wanted to use Thucydides in his dissertation. He must have been about 30.

I had shopped a Virgil class at which the professor had handed out Tennyson's poem "To Virgil, Written at the Request of the Manuans for the Nineteenth Centenary of Virgil's Death". In chit-chat before class I mentioned that I had the poem, and the guy asked me if he could look at it. I said, "sure." He then asked if he could borrow it and promised to return it. I said not to worry about returning it. (Even then I could have gotten it off the internet pretty easily.)

So a couple of days later he hands it back to me, and I put it in my folder. Back in my dorm room, I realize that he's attached a piece of paper to the poem. On it he has composed several lines in Homeric Greek. At the end, it says "Would you like to come over to my house for dinner at VI on Saturday evening?" (It was written with Roman numerals.)

It's creepy as hell, period, but I was especially bothered, because I was barely 18, and he was so much older. One of my roommates was taking a Government class, and it turned out that he was a TF for the course. He wasn't her TF, but she did attend one of his review sessions. I never mentioned it to him, and I refused to sit next to him in class for a while. It probably wasn't the most mature reaction on my part, but he did put me in an akward position, and the age difference made it especially uncomfortable.

horizontal rule
74

Regarding 67: One imagines your swimming friend saying the same thing.

horizontal rule
75

Michael: I'll meet you in DC in a week. I'm the one who looks like this.

horizontal rule
76

I'm sure you're correct, Bridgeplate.

horizontal rule
77

72: Meh, all debts get forgiven Wednesday night anyhow.

horizontal rule
78

Weren't these rules developed with reference to a rather different sense of the term "date" than the one the kids are using today? Where to date someone is to spend time, just with them, in a well-lit place, engaged in some activity with the expectation that, if you like each other, you'll do just that thing again and again and take it from there, the idea of someone Matt's age dating a college freshman doesn't seem so bad. Where it means to sleep with someone, then spend all your time with her, it looks rather different.

On either understanding, however, it would be wrong for Matt himself – as opposed to someone simply his age – to date a 19-year-old. Matt is a huge celebrity, probably the most important young pundit out there since Jonathan Chait burst onto the scene in the mid-90s. Chicks dig that kind of thing and it would not be right for him to take advantage of it.

horizontal rule
79

BG, I'm going to insist that all further comments from you begin with "Dear diary...."

horizontal rule
80

And Tia's must start with "I never thought it could happen to me..."

horizontal rule
81

Nah, no late start. I don't really feel that I was much older than the mean in my class, either.

horizontal rule
82

I inadvertently asserted your hottness, didn't I. Own-pwned!

horizontal rule
83

Chicks dig that kind of thing and it would not be right for him to take advantage of it.

I think you have it precisely backwards.

Regarding your speculations on the word "date"—the various attentions paid to the youngest Miss Snopes (whose name I can't recall) are informative here.

horizontal rule
84

You don't like anecdotes that are actually relevant to the topic under discussion?

horizontal rule
85

84 to 79, though I probably shouldn't admit it.

horizontal rule
86

75: And (when I'm angry.)

horizontal rule
87

Man, I just can't comment tonight.

horizontal rule
88

Drunk?

horizontal rule
89

Alas, no.

horizontal rule
90

Send your mom over, though, and we'll a-go carousing.

horizontal rule
91

The Hulk's wearing a pretty goofy grin in that picture, meseems.

horizontal rule
92

(I hope 89 doesn't tarnish my reputation!)

horizontal rule
93

Bostonian Girl is the only reason I still come to this site.

horizontal rule
94

11 comments were added in the time it took me to catch up, then craft my own unique contribution.

horizontal rule
95

Thanks Adam. ogged's comment made me feel very unloved.

horizontal rule
96

Send your mom over, though, and we'll a-go carousing.

Carousing all the evening and the drinking of the wine

The dancing and the wenching and the ladies in line

But we'll be lying idle in the morning of the day

Carousing, carousing, carousing away

And I love to see you angry; then I know you are alive

And you're already rowdy when the flash girls arrive

And we'll be lying idle in the morning of the day

Carousing, carousing, carousing away

And open the bottle and let the wine breathe

Open the bottle and let the wine breathe

Open the bottle and let the wine breathe

And I feel the sickness a-run in my veins

Holy pulse quicken oh easer of pains [?]

Knower of knowledge and namer of names

Worker and shirker and player of games

Oh holy pulse quicken oh how can this be

That that which unveileth does also deceive

So open the bottle and let the wine breathe

Open the bottle and let the wine breathe

horizontal rule
97

84 was also intended as defense. After all, you're not the one who runs an entire website devoted to tales of his getting hit on by older persons of the opposite sex.

horizontal rule
98

Whoops, did I just Wolfson? Off to read about financial statement restatements.

horizontal rule
99

A google search of the first two lines of ben's poem turns up only a forum entry from the dutch site of Rolling Stone magazine.

horizontal rule
100

It was meant as a light-hearted jibe, people, jeez.

horizontal rule
101

It's not a poem. It's a song, called "Carousing". It appears on Alasdair Roberts' Farewell Sorrow, which makes me think it's a Child(e?) ballad or something similar, but it is unknown to google.

horizontal rule
102

It's not a poem. It's a song,

Songs aren't poems?

horizontal rule
103

Re 97. Yeah I got that 84 was intended as a defense, but then I read 85, and I didn't want to damage your reputation too much. So, I didn't mention it. But thanks to Kotsko and Weiner both!

horizontal rule
104

No, songs aren't poems, though poems might be set to music, resulting in a song.

horizontal rule
105

i tend to think music lyrics to be very poemesque.

horizontal rule
106

Actually, in this case what I said above was incoherent. You win.

Don't let this go to your head, though.

horizontal rule
107

there is the issue of the refrain, though. Some poems have refrains, but in a different way, it seems. (As for songs that repeat the same line over and over, they are either an abomination, or it is done for poetic effect.)

horizontal rule
108

Don't let this go to your head, though.

My ego remains as small as a dust mite.

horizontal rule
109

If you're going to enverb (is that the right word to make up?) the name Wolfson, wouldn't it mean TBALB, or to be hypercorrecting, or possibly to know some interestingly obscure references (I try to avoid saying nice things, but I can't always) not to interrupt flirting?

horizontal rule
110

WMYBSALB, w/d?

horizontal rule
111

Let's not pretend that Wolfson only practices one distinctive manuever.

horizontal rule
112

Indeed, the results are paradoxical. The youngest a 10 year-old can date is a 12, but a 12 needs to find someone who's at least 13.

Well, that's the beauty of it. Stops kids from dating before they're 14, when they're old enough.

Or something.

horizontal rule
113

I already proposed that—in comment 47, no less!

horizontal rule
114

Another distinctive maneuver: the garyfarb.

horizontal rule
115

"Would you like to come over to my house for dinner at VI on Saturday evening?" (It was written with Roman numerals.)

So were you creeped out because he was in his 30s or because he behaved like someone in his 50s?

horizontal rule
116

ogmb--Actually, he may not have said 6 PM. It might have been that he wrote out his telephone numbers in Roman numerals. But basically, the answer is both.

horizontal rule
117

I already proposed that—in comment 47, no less!

Dammit! I honestly think I started skimming at 46.

horizontal rule
118

Hmm. When I met my wife we exactly matched the age/2 + 7 rule....

She was 21 and I was 28. Which didn't seem a massive age gap at the time given our respective levels of maturity ... :-)

And re: Yglesias comments above, a 19 year old dating someone in their early/mid 20s doesn't seem that odd. (With the usual "it depends on the person" caveats.)

When I was 17 and 18 my then girlfriends were 23 and 24 respectively...

horizontal rule
119

Contrary to 78, dating an 18-year-old for sex would seem highly plausible, whereas dating an 18-year-old for conversation would not. (With a few long-dead exceptions such as Hannah Arendt and Lou Salome.)

Any news on the XXXX Heidegger-Arendt photos, btw?

horizontal rule
120

cw--where do you live in Europe?

Hmm, I actually got down to work and missed this. I live and work in the US. I'm over here for a short teaching stint for one of my U's programs.

horizontal rule
121

I always thought the age/2 +7 rule was to yield a range where the age wasn't weird or creepy, not an optimum.

So for me, 26, the range is from 20 to 38.

horizontal rule
122
I always thought the age/2 +7 rule was to yield a range where the age wasn't weird or creepy, not an optimum.

I think the idea was to yield an optimum in the mid-nineteenth century which by current standards is weird and creepy. One neat feature of the formula is that, under the original assumption that the man is the older partner, the appropriately aged partner for a menopausal woman is approximately dead.

horizontal rule
123

No, LB, the new rule is gender-neutral. One of the beneficial effects of the rule is to protect men my age from sexually predatory 104-year-old women.

horizontal rule
124

I never thought it would happen to me. When I was in college, it seemed weird and creepy when I heard about people my age dating thirty year olds. But then Mr. Manley, the 70-year-old philosophy professor came into my life. His jowls were a little bit floppy, but I can assure you they were the only thing about him that was...

Seriously folks, this all seems like absurdity to me. You can observe a particular relationship with a big age difference and weird dynamics and say to yourself, "something there doesn't seem quite right" (although even then, at least in circles I've been exposed to, people have a tendency to overestimate their standing to evaluate what's going on in a relationship, which is of course mostly conducted in private, or just to find fault quickly because it makes them feel superior; unless you're close to one or both parties the only thing you can really say with authority is whether you enjoy spending time with the couple and why). But this rulemaking?

And BG, as with Ogged and the student who condescended to the UPS guy (or didn't), obviously you interacted with the guy and I didn't, but I don't see what in that story marks him as creepy. That he asked you out in writing so you didn't have to reject him to his face was kind of considerate; it respected your space and your possible shyness (he may have also been protecting himself, of course). Is he creepy just because he was older? But sometime in the history of the universe some 30-year-old has probably had a successful relationship (dating and/or sex) with an 18-year-old, and maybe he thought you were both pretty and well-spoken in class. Since he couldn't know ahead of time whether you'd be the type to say, "30, ew," was there no way he was allowed to express his interest, ever?

Dear Diary,

As regards my own relationship (I am four years younger than