Seems to be working fine now. I think somebody(bplbplbplbpl) is messing with you.
Unfogged smashes up things and creatures and then retreats back into its vast carelessness, or whatever it is that keeps it together, and lets other people clean up the mess it made.
And then it says "sorry".
I'm relieved. I'm at my parents' place, and using extremely slow GPRS to get net access, and several things weren't working, Unfogged comment threads among them. It's actually kind of nice that it's not something screwed up with my screwy setup.
4: have you checked your alliteration filtering? It seems wonky to me.
7: Don't you have a notoriously slow internet connection? Or am I mixing up my commenters?
7: the solidarity of the slow-internet-having transcends all boundaries.
Parsimon is like Beetlejuice, with one-third the effort!
My son's wireless was much worse than dialup. And some of my sites were having problems. And maybe my computer itself. Motherfuckers.
Yes, a slow internet connection.
Solidarity, indeed. It's like slow food, you know.
The only time I get fast food is when I suddenly notice that I'm absolutely starving and nearing hypoglycemia. A minute seems like an hour under those conditions, and no place can be fast enough.
The only time I get fast food is when I suddenly notice that I'm absolutely starving and nearing hypoglycemia. A minute seems like an hour under those conditions, and no place can be fast enough.
Sometimes you're so hungry you have to right back for seconds, though.
Whole fucking net sucks. All the rugrats are home from college and their M-3 dedicateds and e-massaging and textsexing and whatever filfy things on daddy's satellite and I hate holidays.
Sweet jesus, Bob has kids?
And they aren't loyal soldiers of the glorious proletarian revolution?
Somebody has a ppermissive parenting job to answer for.
Bob's cover story is presumably completely fake. The guy's a paranoid, you know.
17:No Bob doesn't have kids. Born with a cluster of inheritable genetic abnormalities and uncertain social affects Bob was cut before tragedies were even possible. I did not store my bad seeds.
This early impulse is a comfort in my dotage.
From the UPDATE: if you have any clue as to what might have caused that or what we can do about it, feel free to pipe up.
Not sure what good smokin' the chron is going to do, but you heard the woman: Get to it!
Not sure what good smokin' the chron is going to do
Doesn't sound like a cron problem to me either!
(I'll just see myself out.)
we couldn't even SSH into the box
Our cats couldn't even SSH into the box around this time last year, and they both croaked six months later. I hope that doesn't happen to the blog.
The tech support dudes say that there are all kinds of httpd processes or semaphores or something and they have to kill them and then restart apache. So if you have any clue as to what might have caused that or what we can do about it, feel free to pipe up.
It sounds like there's something that's causing httpd processes to hang and not exit cleanly; have you looked at the logs to see if there's any kind of weird looking requests that coincide with the flakiness?
Alternately, smoke the chron'.
In addition: puts on tech support hat, reads from script Did you change anything in your configuration before these problem started happening?
Also if there's nothing weird looking about the requests, there might still be a common theme; maybe there's something in some post that's causing teh blowup.
Or it could be the bourbon. Have you been feeding the site bourbon, Becks?
I'm pretty sure the culprit must be raw egg whites.
But saying "SSHHHHH" into the box might quiet things down.
I IS IN UR HOSTZ MESSIN UP UR HOLYDAZ.
I IS IN UR EGGSIES MESSIN UP UR HOLLINDAYZ.
I have no idea what is causing what, or how it might be fixed, but I have the utmost faith in the tech support dudes in Bangalore. It takes a village.
Cats presumably have lots of parasites.
Two of three active threads are now partially about bourbon. Somebody write something about bourbon in the thread about that stupid movie.
Follow the lead of your namesake and be the change you want to see in the blog, Jesus.
In my hometown, we have this winter festival where you're supposed to drink a noxious brew that goes by the name of "ice hog grog". Coffee mixed with rye whiskey, topped off with whipped cream. It is to shudder.
The log rolling contest is impressive, though.
Follow the lead of your namesake and get someone else to do it.
More Lebowski:
Nobody fucks with The Jesus!
I'm sorry your stepmother's a nympho, Maude, but what about my rug?
I'll suck your cock for $1000.
The beauty of the last line was it came at a time when the normal thing to say would have been "Goodbye, nice to meet you". Tara Reid is a limited talent, I agree, but boy! was she a perfect Bunny.
40: Sounds fine to me, sort of a variation on Irish Coffee. What's all that shuddering about?
40, 43: Yeah, that sounds pretty good, actually.
If we're talking bourbon, I'll pipe in and say you fucking need to make this drink. It requires hunting down orange bitters from the internet (or, I think, Williams-Sonoma) but so so worth it (and don't try to use regular bitters, although some said you could muddle an orange peel if desperate).
BACK FORTY
4 teaspoons maple syrup
2 ounces bourbon
1 ounce lemon juice
3 to 5 dashes orange bitters
Lime wedge for garnish.
In a cocktail shaker, mix syrup with 2 teaspoons hot water. Add bourbon, lemon juice and bitters. Add ice and shake. Strain drink over ice in glass. Garnish.
42: Keanu Reeves was a pretty good Bill, or Ted. I don't know how he got all those other roles in otherwise good movies. I'm thinking sex entered into it.
That does sound like it has potential. The maple syrup + bourbon sounds cloying, but it's just possible that the lemon juice and bitters rescues it into deliciousness.
Becks! While you're here, we should tell you we're going to be using your kitchen for an eggnog-off. That's fine, right?
I IZ IN UR NOG GETTIN DRUNK.
I need to plan my Christmas menu.
I need to plan my Christmas menu.
I recommend lo mein and chop suey.
That would be a step up over traditional nasty ham. We're thinking non traditional beef. And non traditional risotto. And then we had to think of a vegetable.
And then we had to think of a vegetable.
Potato!
Are you in cahoots? We already have a starch.
That would be a step up over traditional nasty ham.
You're telling me.
Are you in cahoots?
We Irish have to stick together.
Are you in cahoots? We already have a starch.
Roast potato is a starch. Mashed potato is a side. Chips or croquettes are a vegetable.
And you're all in cahoots with my husband who thinks that we need potatoes.
52: Beef Confit, Pressed Risotto, and for a vegetable, Duck.
You know, there's more people of Irish descent in American than in Ireland because we ate our vegetables.
Also the English weren't trying as actively to starve us.
Not that they would have minded if we had starved, but it wasn't a high priority for them.
Plus, we ate our spinach so they'd know we'd fight to the finish.
Teo I'm trying to think how your ancestors could've been any more oppressed. You don't have any ancestors who were slaves, right?
65: Not since Israel was in Egypt land, no. At least as far as I know.
That would be a step up over traditional nasty ham. We're thinking non traditional beef.
Screw tradition. I typically get a top sirloin roast for Thanksgiving and Christmas. If I want variety, there's lamb.
He's just a good Native-African-American-Irish-Jewish boy.
I'm not a huge fan of eggnog. I did have some last weekend that was interesting for its inclusion of whipped egg whites but I think that took me over my eggnog quota for the year.
You know, there's more people of Irish descent in American than in Ireland because we ate our vegetables.
We sent ours to Australia.
Goose! Do a goose. Make sure and prick the skin (but not the meat) and scald it in salt water, and it 'll be the most delicious thing you've ever eaten.
Oh but you've never had eggnog like this, Becks. Mmmm bourbon-y!
I will find another plan, such that I can arrive at your house with eggnog pre-mixed, and therefore irresistible.
He's just a good Native-African-American-Irish-Jewish boy.
Really just Irish and Jewish, as far as oppressed goes. The other side of my family is pretty much all oppressors.
72: that's pretty mean to do without killing the bird first.
My sister made eggnog with eggwhites last year. They were like fine alcoholic clouds.
Roast potato is a starch. Mashed potato is a side. Chips or croquettes are a vegetable.
And raw potato, stolen from your mother while she's peeling the taters, and maybe with a bit of salt, is an after-school snack.
People, or vegetables?
The stupid ones. Never mind.
re:75:
I suspect teo's body does a Dr. Strangelove thing where one half tries to oppress a different quarter.
I really like potatoes. We've just had a lot lately.
I've never had goose. I've heard it's like duck, but more so.
80: Yeah, it's kind of weird having all these age-old enmities mixed up inside me.
Becks should read my recipe in the other thread and then -- only then -- decide if she wants strangers making a huge mess with raw eggs and whiskey in her kitchen.
Like any good Irish-Polish family, we are having vegetarian lasagna.
We also share oplatek, ordered weeks in advance from a church in Chicago.
Now that I think of it, though, my people have been oppressed almost as much as teo's, only less famously. I demand reparations, and quick.
Teo, I never would have suspected your Mayo origins. We might be related.
Teo, I never would have suspected your Mayo origins.
I'm full of surprises.
We might be related.
Maybe, but I doubt it. Mayo's a big place.
I demand reparations, and quick.
No one gives it to you. You have to take it.
You have to take it.
By any means necessary.
82: You should definitely participate in Bloomsday.
My parents and sisters are going to my grandmother's house, where she will cook a lasagna, which none of my sisters like*, and provide cold cuts** for sandwiches.
*They've all decided they can't stand ricotta cheese
** NASTY HAM
Anyone in an at least moderately-sized city should be able to find orange bitters without using the internet, especially if Angostura's plan to have their orange bitters sold wherever their aromatic bitters is sold is working.
You should definitely participate in Bloomsday.
I should probably read the book first. But yeah, I guess I would be uniquely suited for it.
like duck, but more so
I've lost patience with duck. Sure you taste good, Mr. Duck, but 2/3 fat to 1/3 meat is a bit much. If you expect me to go out of my way to kill and eat you, or have my subordinates do it for me, you'll have to cut your BMI a bit. Would it kill you to fly around a bit?
Ben! Mai Tai and I need your help on this eggnog-off thing.
I should probably read the book first.
This would disqualify most participants.
Also, sifu was probably joking, but you could totally confit beef, and it would probably be excellent.
This would disqualify most participants.
This is a bad thing?
94: Who the hell doesn't like lasagne? Barbarians. They must be from Mayo.
Our family usually eats duck for Xmas. The goose we tried a couple of years ago didn't turn out, no fault of the goose. There's nothing better than duck, any day of the year.
The reason there are so many more Irish-Americans than Irish is that the American Irish keep marrying out and are mostly mixed, whereas the Irish themselves always marry more or less distant cousins.
Along with a bunch of other misinformation, that also explains "There are more Native Americas in the US today than in Columbus' time".
I was taught that raw potatoes are toxic, even peeled, but now I think that my sainted mother was lying to me.
Sifu! I'd love to help! I've never prepared or consumed egg nog, though, so I don't know how much help I can offer, aside from judging between nogs.
But the fat is the essence of the waterfowl. It is their blessing, and they compel us to fry potatoes in it.
This would disqualify most participants.
Having read it, I'm unlikely to ever find Bloomsday interesting.
I was taught that raw potatoes are toxic
As any Irish person will tell you, potato is in fact the only non-toxic raw vegetable.
Green-skinned potatoes are toxic. Uncooked peeled potatoes are merely indigestible.
99: Um, what?
I'm happy to have benben drink the results like any other stiff at the party, but seriously, KEEP HIM THE FUCK OUT THE KITCHEN!! His job is elsewhere.
105: mostly we need help convcincing the flophausen to let us me use their kitchen.
We're all on the same page here, brother dogfucker.
potato is in fact the only non-toxic raw vegetable.
For real. The potato is the only near-perfect vegetable food source. It's only when there aren't enough potatoes to go around that things turn very ugly indeed.
117: which explains the dark ages.
I wish you would be nicer to me, m/tch.
121: notably sunnier than in Europe, neatly proving my point.
According to 1491, the key thing about potatoes in addition to their high nutritional value is that, coming from the Andes, they grow very well in cold, harsh conditions such as northern Europe.
120: I'm so sorry, ben. I want to be nicer to you.
But you just haven't earned it yet.
The potato is the only near-perfect vegetable food source.
As Flann OBrien so eloquently explained, but you have to be able to read Irish Gaelic to get the full effect.
My sainted mother had no prejudice against potatoes. She was just trying to stop us from snitching the potatoes she was peeling.
The turnip is another wrongly neglected and despised vegetable.
I can make an eggnog for the shindig (I just can't drink it). I live nearby. BUT, I don't have a cellar. The flophouse does. Will there be anyone there this week to take delivery?
Doesn't Ackerman live in the flophouse cellar?
IIRC, under most conditions potatoes produce more carbohydrate per acre than anything else. They played a major role in supporting an enormous increase in Chinese population around 1700 AD, partly because as a backup during rice famines. Chinese still tend to think of potatoes as a starvation rice substitute.
Youse all just hate the Irish, and probably the Canadians too.
But never mind. I'm practicing up for DCUnfogged, despite your irrational hatred of the potato. Well, my name is O'Hanlon, and I'm just gone sixteen...
Yeah, and the image that calls to mind. Ackerman as Harry Potter.
127: Well, if you call that living.
Hatred of the Irish or the Canadians is but a venial sin, given their crimes against humanity.
128: Yes. In addition to their suitability to the climate, potatoes were about the only crop that could feed a family from the generally very small sized landholdings in Ireland.
M/tch, please, tell me what I have to do to earn your kindness. I beg you.
134: This book details things quite nicely, young ben.
132: We Canadians have a lot to answer for.
My home is in Monaghan, where I was weaned...
137: M/lls is emulating the blank stele of the Empress Wu. His power is boundless.
Our cats couldn't even SSH into the box
When your cat likes to SSH outside the box, that's alliteration.
And no amount of filtering will solve it.
Anyone in an at least moderately-sized city should be able to find orange bitters without using the internet, especially if Angostura's plan to have their orange bitters sold wherever their aromatic bitters is sold is working.
Not even close to true in Pennsylvania.
You know, the originators of the potato are horrible at actually preparing them. They leave chopped potatoes out in sub zero temperatures, and then serve them weeks later as a delicacy.
And, for the record, the raw potato is mildly toxic.
Potatoes are good. I wish I could find the one I lost.
And, for the record, the raw potato is mildly toxic.
Technically, I suppose. But if you're avoiding obvious sun exposed parts like green skin, you'd be hard pressed to actually ingest enough solanine to poison yourself.
145: The problem with netspeak abbreviations is that they lack nuance. I didn't LOL, when I read 145, but I did COL - Chuckle Out Loud.
Ack - I meant 146 in 148.
Ben, I went to at least 8 liquor stores in DC and NYC and none of them carried orange bitters. Williams-Sonoma had blood orange bitters but I had read they were "meh". I'm sure I could have tracked some down in one of my cities with more diligance but decided to suck it up and just order them online.
I'll lay dollars to doughnuts that LeNell's in Red Hook has them (very first hit for "red hook liquor store"). Plus I already told you you can get Regan's at Pegu Club. Anyway, the trick here isn't to go to one store after another, but to call the manufacturer and ask them if they know of any stores that sell their products (particularly this one). (You could email, of course, but that would be using the internet.)
'Swhat I did with Fee's back when they were the only game in town and it worked swell.
Just checked LeNell's website and they have Fee Bros, Regan's, Hermes, and The Bitter Truth orange bitters. (Also Collins, but those are supposedly extra nasty.)
151: That's Mr. Collins, if you're extra nasty.
You can visit the page for the staff at LeNell's to see what a real hipster looks like, and dispel the urge to level baseless accusations at me.
what a real hipster looks like
A black woman with seven grandchildren?
154: I also see a female hipster, a douche, and some sort of Danny Kaye character.
What the hell were you doing in Red Hook, Ben?
My son is assembling a hipster outfit for me, which I may wear at UnfoggeDCon II. I have him on a $30 budget. There are certain problems with this plan.
Surely it's possible to assemble a sufficiently shoddy and unflattering hipster ensemble for under $30.
I don't have an explanation for the semaphore problem, but I have experienced it on a couple of servers and now run this Perl script in a cron job every few hours to work around it by restarting Apache when the number of semaphores builds up:
#!/usr/bin/perl -w
use strict;
$> == 0 or die "Should be run as root\n";
my $SEM_LIMIT = 50;
my @apache_sems = map { /(\d+)\s+apache/ ? ($1) : () } `ipcs -s`;
exit unless @apache_sems > $SEM_LIMIT;
system('/etc/init.d/httpd stop');
system("ipcrm sem $_") for @apache_sems;
system('/etc/init.d/httpd start');
Not ideal, but better to have the server down for a few seconds than several hours.
113-That recipe does look quite delicious. My kitchen's about two blocks from the flophouse. At your disposal, if you need it.
But the fat is the essence of the waterfowl. It is their blessing, and they compel us to fry potatoes in it.
Parsnips. That's tonight's dinner!
I've never been in Red Hook, but if I ever were in Red Hook, it would be to go to LeNell's to make time with the female hipster pick up some rye or the like.
(OT) Anyone know any good rib places in DC? We are looking for a place for moday night I know its Xmas eve but its my birthday and I get to choose, soooo
I is questionable whether a hipster outfit is appropriate for short, chunky guys. A tight-fitting shirt with no gut seems to be the norm.
Real hipsters show their guts, John.
Teo, Adjunct, this is the one, true Mayo. Where is the one to which you all are referring?
Emerson, you'd be astonished at what short stocky guys are wearing in Brooklyn. You'd think they would look at stovepipe jeans and say, nah, not for me, but you would be wrong.
166: I don't know about Teo, but I was referring to Mayo, Quebec, which doesn't have a fancy website and which probably doesn't offer float plane services, either.
157:
My son is assembling a hipster outfit for me
Confession: I don't know what a hipster outfit is. (Sorry, Emerson.)
Further, to Ben's strikeout in 162, I can't imagine what a female hipster would be.
Seedy, tacky thrift-store clothes from the 50s, but nothing grungish or hippyish.
Hm. That shouldn't be difficult, then.
If the link in 153 is anything to go by, a little horse-faced.
My sister seems to fit the bill, what exactly are the criteria for being a hipster?
the link in 153
Shit, you people actually read the comments here?
(Damon ... why do I think I know that guy?)
a little horse-faced
That wasn't very nice, was it?
163: Marvin's on 14th Street has earned a lot of praise for its ribs. (I haven't tried them.)
(Damon ... why do I think I know that guy?)
Maybe you've got a much closer reason, but he does seem to be someone we've all known. Can't say a particularly positive impression.
My daughter has read and posted here on occasion.
Can't say a particularly positive impression.
Why not? WHY NOT? I ask. Damon makes me laugh. A fine sense of humor, that one.
You really aren't allowed to be a hipster unless you're very, very, skinny. In fact, I sometimes suspect that the hipster outfit is more than half just the skinniness. I know a guy who does nothing to create the aura of hipster other than to be rail thin and wear a tight-fitting suit every day, but everyone assumes he must be extraordinarily cool. One of my other friends dressed perfectly hip for many years, but was never taken seriously as a scenester until she dropped six dress sizes. I never really tried.
I never really tried.
Why not? WHY NOT? I ask.
Anyway, hipster is like Iggie! Where's that picture of Iggie looking all, um, lean. ?
Damon's photo and self-description makes my mind scream "douche!".
180: Iggie is small and wiry and muscular. The hipster look is rail thin. More like a male Twiggy.
AWB's judgement meshes with mine. Jackmormon's comment is pretty ambiguous. She didn't say that the pudgy hipster wannabes actually succeed in pulling it off successfully.
makes my mind scream "douche!"
Does not compute. I do not know from this term "douche." I might go for "dork" due to Damon's remark about his "ol' lady," but then I tend to have issues with women who use the term "hubby," whereupon I'm told I must be more tolerant of linguistic habits.
179 is true, I think. Although that saying, I do know a couple of hipster-ish women who are short and round.
But for guys, hipster == skinny.
182 is right. The hipster look is not one of energy. More like someone who does a lot of cocaine while watching TV, and then maybe eats a vegan muffin before bed.
Yeah, ditto on 182 and 186.
Visible muscle definition is pretty much the anti-hipster.
185a: I'm aware of this type, and don't know where to peg them. I know a few overweight hipster girls who play it up with huge 80's-style men's eyeglasses and stuff, a la Leslie Hall, but it takes a lot of aesthetic commitment. If I, for example, wanted to be a hip girl, I'd have to gain or lose 30 pounds.
Yes, I get it. Anemic. Leaves the question how one dresses like a hipster, such that being anemically thin isn't quite enough for inclusion in the set, but hey, it was a question of mild import, now wasn't it?
re: 188
Yeah, big angular glasses tend to be part of the look.
189: Honestly, I think it's as simple as buying extremely tight-fitting clothes of any kind for a very thin body. I'm sure there's some kind of science to the choice of style, but I've seen all kinds.
I'm trending toward not even making the attempt. I will probably dress in my own unique style, which is a subset of my sister's unique style (I don't wear everything she buys me.)
Yeah, the most recent episode of the Mighty Boosh featured a plot line where Vince Noir has a potential gig with some up and coming hipster band, but only if he can drop three jean sizes to get into the hipster drainpipe jeans.
Y'all could switch mediums and blog & comment via the US mail...
I do not know from this term "douche."
This may help.
