Re: I've got a secret

1

There's this cool new animation where they say "All your base are belong to us! HAHA!


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 3:49 PM
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Give Labs a break, he's dying.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 3:50 PM
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Sorry Labs. Have you seen the Jib Jab video?


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 3:55 PM
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I love reading post secret, but I don't know how I feel about all the profit that guy's deriving from other people's labor. I mean, he deserves some profit, because he is doing work to compile and present them, and it was his idea, but I feel like maybe a hefty chunk of the proceeds should go to a suicide prevention hotline.


Posted by: Tia | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:01 PM
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Damn! And I usually read unfogged, too.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:02 PM
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It was BPhD who wrote that, years ago, right?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:02 PM
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No, it was w-lfs-n.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:04 PM
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ll the profit that guy's deriving from other people's labor

What profit? (I find the site really, really depressing. (Like this site.))


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:07 PM
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6: I wish, mais non.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:07 PM
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10

Book sales, &c.


Posted by: Tia | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:09 PM
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I don't know how I feel about all the profit that guy's deriving from other people's labor

But the alternative is standing in line for a single type of state-produced creepy postcard.


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:26 PM
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Have you seen that Guiness ad?

[This thread is like Unfogged, condensed.]


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:29 PM
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13

Dude, Rachel Wacholder.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:31 PM
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14

[redacted]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:32 PM
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15

Re-posting is the new posting.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:37 PM
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At the Mineshaft.

Titties.

Nutsack.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:39 PM
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17

Old comments are the new comments.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:39 PM
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18

Also.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:40 PM
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19

Everybody is fat. But not as fat as the Beach Boys.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:44 PM
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20

I'm a virgin, but only because I have better taste than you.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:45 PM
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21

This has become a fascist country, but Republicans are right about everything.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:49 PM
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Torture is horrible, except when it accords with my middle-eastern sensibility.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:50 PM
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-Hiatus-


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:54 PM
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I hate you all.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:55 PM
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How long did we decide it would take to read the complete archives? 3 weeks? No need now!


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 4:57 PM
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26

This thread is the punchline we've all been building up to for so long.

When it ends, we die.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:00 PM
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27

and it all boils down to . . .


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:03 PM
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Please date my surrealism. Also, poo.


Posted by: o-text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:04 PM
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. . . [ominous sounds] . . .


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:04 PM
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30

you've ruined it, o-text.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:05 PM
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my surrealism doesn't want a date. In fact, my surrealism finds your asking it for a date offensive, and now feels only disdain for you. Because it does not love itself.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:07 PM
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There is something ominous about ogged being funny. Shades of "dogs and cats, living together in sin," I think.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:07 PM
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the final punchline cannot be avoided . . .


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:08 PM
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. . . [even more ominous sounds] . . .


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:09 PM
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35

Being a Christian has made me very angry. Angry enough to crush Holbo's skull.


Posted by: o-kotsko | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:10 PM
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36

Cock!

At The Mineshaft!

Where We All Have Gay Sex!

With Each Other!

And Strangers Too!

With Cocks!


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:10 PM
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37

Bestiality was totally outré when I was young. These people confuse me.


Posted by: o-emerson | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:12 PM
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38

That's 3,264 points for Labs, 2,322 points for Unf, and 22 points for ogged. I think I'm ahead of ogged. Dear god, am I ahead of ogged?


Posted by: o-timbot | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:13 PM
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39

By the time they realize that my seven premises are shite, they'll be talking about something else. Verdict: suckaz!


Posted by: o-baa | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:16 PM
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40

People! Do not impersonate other commenters. What do I have to do to control you? Why am I not in charge of my own blog? I submit (to mockery) because I have secret fantasies of (mockery) domination that I cannot confront. Why are you all at your computer on a Friday night? Be gone, all of you.


Posted by: o-ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:19 PM
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41

That really should be t-ogged.


Posted by: w-w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:20 PM
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42

whoops, left out the URL. And some quotation marks.


Posted by: w-w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:21 PM
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43

Look guys, I can't just come out and say it: women don't want cock, they want pussy.


Posted by: o-weiner | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:26 PM
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44

Boy, am I auto-pwned, I somehow had missed the point on this thread where ogged started off condensing himself, and thus I made fun of him in nearly the exact way he had already made fun of himself. Teh pwned. I admit it.


Posted by: T-Tia | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 5:30 PM
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45

Dammit.


Posted by: t-timbot | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 6:00 PM
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46

No, it was w-lfs-n.

What am I alleged to have written now?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 7:14 PM
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47

The postcard in the post.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 7:15 PM
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48

ah.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 7:20 PM
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49

You're all sexist.

I love shoes and who wants to see my tits?


Posted by: o-bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:00 PM
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50

It's official: this blog is over.

Change the name to "Post-Unfogged."

(Did the "Post Secret" people intend to play on the meaning of "post" as "after"?)


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:16 PM
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Unfogged: Evolution.


Posted by: ac | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:19 PM
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52

Not to be all Walter Benjamin about it, but the Post Secret exhibit here in DC featured some really weak poster-sized reproductions. Furthermore, all the postcards were hung on clotheslines, which led the crowd to walk the room as if on a conveyor belt. Amateurs.


Posted by: o-smasher | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:26 PM
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53

Weak, o-imposters, weak.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:32 PM
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54

My girlfriend is really cool, can I play with you guys?


Posted by: o-smasher | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:32 PM
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55

Me me me me interrogate me! Cock! Tits! Me!!!

Ok, now you're oppressing me.


Posted by: o-bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:34 PM
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Yeah, sue me, I forgot to take off my url. I suck.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:38 PM
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57

I'm really hurt that that grad student moved to Sweden.


Posted by: w-ogged's schlong | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:41 PM
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Even though bphd totally pwned me by imitating me imitating her, I had to redo the comment myself, because I will not be pwned. It's my damn blog, after all.

[No impersonations allowed.]


Posted by: o-bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 8:57 PM
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59

Hey b, that was you! You know the rules!


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:02 PM
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60

That rule has become somewhat more flexible today.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:02 PM
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Not really. Even the o-imposters used their own URLs, which people have done in the past to indicate impersonating-in-fun. But b used my URL too.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:04 PM
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62

You don't stand a chance in hell, Ogged.


Posted by: o–susan and catherine | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:07 PM
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63

O, all right. I thought the content would make it o-bvious.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:08 PM
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O, that's mighty convenient, Armsmasher. I haven't detected any such subtext.

I forgive you b. And you know what that's worth.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:12 PM
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You guys are all banned.

I'm totally kidding! Lighten up.

Seriously, though, I'm not afraid to ban you. Especially you, Miss Congeniality. Haha! I'm joking! Chill.

You know what would be great? If you all called me Mistah Kurtz.

Ha! Pwned again, suckaz. Stay on topic. I might just ban every one of you.

I kid! What do you think this is, some kind of dictatorship?

None of you will ever understand swimming. It's sad, really.

Please don't hate me, guys.


Posted by: d-ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:12 PM
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Even the o-imposters used their own URLs, which people have done in the past to indicate impersonating-in-fun.

Everytime I've impersonated a fictional character/historical figure/dead author I've signed with a URL related to the person, not my own. I don't think I've ever impersonated another commenter.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:16 PM
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Anonymity will be swiftly and severely punished.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:21 PM
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o–susan and catherine

This would mean that ogged was impersonating susan and catherine, so why would his email be smashin@rms.com? Unless that was supposed to be Kriston impersonating ogged impersonating susan and catherine.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:49 PM
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69

The en dash should give it away.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 9:59 PM
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So, it was you, impersonating ogged impersonating susan and catherine telling ogged he didn't stand a chance? Why would ogged, impersonating s&c, say that?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:10 PM
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71

I find your impersonation of ogged lacking, is what I'm saying.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:11 PM
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72

Ben, stop being such a little bitch.


Posted by: b-Fontana Labs | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:22 PM
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73

It seems several people mistakenly took the "o-" to be a style, rather than an appellation. This doesn't excuse them, or mean that I'm not going to steal away their girlfriends.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:23 PM
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74

Feel free to try to steal my girlfriend, Ogged.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:34 PM
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75

The weirdest one is clearly #52: 'Smasher pretending to be himself. Must be one of those self-referential art things.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:35 PM
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76

Feel free to try to steal my girlfriend, Ogged.

That would be like suing you for $500,000, yes?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:36 PM
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77

I ams o fucking lost. Is this due ot my drunken state or will I understand this in the morning?


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:37 PM
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78

In the morning, I will be a genius, and you'll feel a little sorry for Smasher.

Love the drunk typing.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:39 PM
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79

No, Becks is the geniuse and in the morning I wil feel sorry for myself!


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:48 PM
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80

fuck


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:48 PM
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81

Apostropher is the genius!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:51 PM
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82

#76: Sort of. But let's not talk about me. It gets so old.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:54 PM
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83

Becks' next comment:

hnjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 10:57 PM
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84

Best pair of comments ever; Becks is the hero!


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 11:14 PM
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85

I promised a vomit story here, but it was too long so I decided to post it instead.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 11:16 PM
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86

oh yeah, 85 is OT.


Posted by: td-ogged | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 11:18 PM
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87

oh, and I'm a total traffic-whore.


Posted by: tweedledopey | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 11:20 PM
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88

I didn't believe Ogged was in fact responsible for o-everyone. Don't worry, I'll ban myself on my way out.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 11:47 PM
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89

It's an established convention.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-20-06 11:57 PM
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90

this thread was a lot of fun. it's too bad that we all have to die now.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:03 AM
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Re: 73

From yesterday's Popbitch, some unreconstructed retro-pwnage:

"Michael Caine and Terence Stamp shared a flat in the 60s. This led to innuendoes that they were In The Gays, particularly from one group of male acquaintances. Caine and Stamp finally got annoyed by all the jokes, so Stamp disappeared for a couple of weeks. When he returned Caine asked him where he had been. "You know those blokes that said we were queers?" "replied Stamp. "Well, I've fucked all their girlfriends".


Posted by: Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:04 AM
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92

"and by that I mean, Michael Caine and I had what is known as anal intercourse. With each other."


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:08 AM
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93

92 to 90, surprisingly. I don't know why I put it in quotes, or actually what I'm trying to say here at all.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:10 AM
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94

and now unfogged hears the distant cry of savory oblivion.

It sounds like tender beef.

And sleep.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:13 AM
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95

no, unfogged! you can only taste oblivion but once!


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:14 AM
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96

but I am spent. my self-references have turned upon themselves. I've used up all my life-force in a last-gasp thread. and the oblivion will taste very good.


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:16 AM
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97

do not swim to the oblivion! you've taken too many breaths, and you fall out of breath so quickly! We'll think of something new to write.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:18 AM
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98

I've already performed my kick-turn. The swede is gone. There is nothing to detain me from chewing on oblivion.


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:19 AM
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99

It sounds like tender beef.

These beefs are tender. And the exuberance?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:23 AM
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100

My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me a song. Would you like to hear it?


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:23 AM
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101

Yeah, unfogged. Yeah, I'd like to hear it.


Posted by: w-text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:24 AM
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102

Early one mornin' the sun was shinin',

I was layin' in bed

Wond'rin' if she'd changed at all

If her hair was still red.

Her folks they said our lives together

Sure was gonna be rough

They never did like Mama's homemade dress

Papa's bankbook wasn't big enough.

And I was standin' on the side of the road

Rain fallin' on my shoes

Heading out for the East Coast

Lord knows I've paid some dues gettin' through,

Tangled up in blue.


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:24 AM
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103

I don't think you wrote that, unfogged.


Posted by: t-ben t-w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:27 AM
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104

no, I didn't. I've got nothing new to say any more. My commenters too have all become mere iterations of themselves. Like Ernest Byner, when he played for the Redskins.


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:32 AM
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105

Ernest Byner had some of his greatest seasons with the Redskins.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:32 AM
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106

Did he?


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:33 AM
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107

no, not really.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:34 AM
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108

after that fumble he was a mere shell of a man.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:34 AM
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109

goodbye world!


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:35 AM
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110

My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me a song.

Notice that I don't claim to have written it. T-ben t-w-lfs-n, WMYBSALB?


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:36 AM
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111

he did it! unfogged is dead. world, you've no more fragrant foods left in you, nor buzzing alcoholic treats.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:36 AM
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112

Long live unfogged!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:37 AM
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113

good god, man! even I can't bring myself to engage in little-bitchery on such an un-wizard-cocksucking day.


Posted by: t-ben t-w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:40 AM
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114

wait.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:41 AM
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115

something's happening in the water!


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:41 AM
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116

There's a very tall man, with a long beard, and white, flowing garments. He's somehow attached himself to the still-body of unfogged.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:43 AM
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117

he's kicking his legs! and the head is moving rhythmically! Up and down! It's like he's putting air into unfogged! Yes! He's blowing unfogged full of air!


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:45 AM
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118

I live!


Posted by: unfogged | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:46 AM
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119

Yes, it's me. I blew unfogged with my superkoranic powers.


Posted by: t-Gayatollah | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:48 AM
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120

I'm likely to regret all this tomorrow.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 12:50 AM
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121

Hopefully.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 1:00 AM
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122

well 99 was still an invalid act of little-bitchery. There's nothing wrong with comparing a single thing to a multitude of things.

As in: Ben w-lfs-n, when he speaks, is like a thousand voiceless carrion birds, with horrible squawks, except that they haven't got any.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 1:15 AM
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123

I didn't really mean it though. to sleep, text.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 1:18 AM
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124

99 was a quotation from a Penny Arcade strip, motivated solely by the phrase "tender beef".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 1:20 AM
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125

What could possibly be wrong with being an iteration of oneself?


Posted by: not an impersonation | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 1:30 AM
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126

dammit, pwned.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 1:32 AM
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127

by 124.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 1:33 AM
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128

80 Gets It Exactly Right.


Posted by: Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 5:51 AM
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129

It is my considered opinion that Becks should comment drunk much more often than she does.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 8:32 AM
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130

I'm so confused.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 10:11 AM
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131

Hello B, are you there? None of your messaging clients seem to be online so I thought I'd try you here. It's almost two in the afternoon. Are you awake?


Posted by: Mr. B | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 1:15 PM
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132

I woke up at 4 pm, all right?

Apostropher, do you mind if I have a crush on Text now, too?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 2:57 PM
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133

This would be the innate capriciousness you warned of, eh?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 3:33 PM
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134

hooray!


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 3:34 PM
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135

Yeah, I'm free with my affections, I'm afraid. And clever men get to me.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 3:44 PM
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136

But, see? I have a sense of honor and loyalty. At least I asked.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 3:45 PM
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137

Well, as long as you blog-come home to me at night, I guess it's okay.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 3:49 PM
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138

Yay! Spreading the gospel of open marriage far and wide.

Text, what are you doing tomorrow around lunch hour?


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 3:53 PM
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139

Text, what are you doing tomorrow around lunch hour

Blog nooner!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 4:06 PM
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140

Yeah, baby, I was thinking you and I could have an early night of it.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 4:13 PM
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141

happy.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 4:20 PM
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142

wtf?


Posted by: Mr. B | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 5:32 PM
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143

And clever men get to me.

I think this sentence is missing a word.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 5:53 PM
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144

It is not.

Hey, Mr. B., not my fault you started hanging out at the frathouse. If you're going to enter blogland, you have to accept the consequences.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 6:12 PM
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Re confessing secrets: Some radio station had/has some program where people call in and confess their secrets. Around a year ago, some rocket scientist called up and bragged that he and his friends had committed an armed robbery of a store six months or so ago, and hadn't been caught. They traced his call, and the robbery didn't remain unsolved for long.


Posted by: Frederick | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 6:55 PM
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Frederick- a commendable effort to try and drag this thread back towards something marginally related to the orginal post. And by commendable I of course mean gay.

For the record, this thread confused the shit out of me, even though I think I understood the majority of the inside-references. For a while I tried to follow along, but soon it became too much work and I just let the comments flow past my eyes in wave after wave of meaningless absurdity. It felt somewhat cleansing, something like a good marijuana high but without the mental haziness afterward.

But I don't know whether reading it made me a better person.

Is unfogged really dying?


Posted by: Urple | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 8:17 PM
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Yes, Urple, it is.

Netcraft confirms it.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 01-21-06 8:19 PM
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OK so this would almost count as "dream blogging" if I could write a post on it but I cannot. But in the shades of half-awake this morning I composed an Unfogged comments thread -- I can remember very little of it, besides that the main body of the thread was a dialogue between Adam Kotsko and Matthew Weiner on the question of whether it should be deemed reprehensible to...


Posted by: Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01-22-06 5:56 AM
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"I grow ol'... I grow ol'.

I shall scribble WTF? and LOL!"


Posted by: Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 01-22-06 8:11 AM
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