I've been doing it this way for years.
Also, if your fingers get messy from food but you don't have a napkin, the socks you're wearing work great.
1.2: That's what I do. Or the inside of my pants cuffs if I'm not wearing socks.
Or your armpits if you're not wearing any clothes.
if your fingers get messy from food
... the seat (or leg) of your pants works fine. No one will notice.
Cooking companion to JRoth: Why do you keep bending over to wipe your fingers on your socks?
JRoth: Uh ... I don't have a napkin?
Related: How far up your nose can you stick your finger before you should wash your hands? I've always figured as long as you didn't go on a deep mining expedition, you weren't reaching the germs.
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For anyone who was wondering, all the Peace Corps Volunteers in Samoa are safe and accounted for. This is good news not so much for them, although that, but as a sample of population -- they wouldn't have been less likely to get caught by the tsunami than anyone else. If all 35 volunteers are uninjured, it seems like there's an upper limit on how many casualties there are over all.
But I doubt there will be accurate data out of Samoa on casualties for a month or so.
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As I've advised my children about eleventy thousand times, "Use your cough pocket!", the cough pocket being that thing which SB describes.
the cough pocket being that thing which SB describes defiles
Also, what do you call the practice of holding one nostril closed and blowing out the other without a tissue or somesuch (apart from 'vulgar' and 'unsanitary')? 'Air hankie'? 'Farmer's blow'? Something else?
11: I don't know, but I can't recall that I've seen anybody who wasn't a farmer use the method.
I don't even have sneezes.
As I've advised my children about eleventy thousand times, "Use your cough pocket!"
I write and say "crook of the arm", but I think "elbowpit".
Chinese?
You're either racist or hungry.
Half an hour later, you're congested again.
That's how I test for racists. If I offer anyone a cookie and they don't take it, they are racist.
If I offer anyone a cookie and they don't take it, they are racist.
In bed.
11, 13 - The only people I've seen doing that are footballers. Use your shirt!
7
they wouldn't have been less likely to get caught by the tsunami than anyone else.
Any other able-bodied twentysomethings unencumbered by family or at risk of losing all their worldly possessions, that is.
22: In regular, non-soccer football, you have more substantial sleeves, so it is easier.
Racist
It's common in China, at least Shanghai and Beijing, like spitting. A Chinese friend living in the US explained that he found handkerchief use completely incredible (ie nasty) when he first encountered it here.
"Farmer's blow." I first saw it at the bus stop freshman year of HS, in NJ (no farmers). I've used it.
23: True -- I mostly meant that they weren't systematically farther from the beach than anyone else, or with a better early warning system. Since I posted that, though, I found out it wasn't true -- I found a PCV's blogpost on surviving the tsunami, and apparently the PC office in country felt the earthquake, and instantly phoned the PCVs to tell them to go inland. (Back in my day, PCVs didn't have phones. Whippersnappers.) So they were systematically advantaged over the locals in terms of having warning to escape.
11: I don't know, but I can't recall that I've seen anybody who wasn't a farmer use the method.
My brother does that -- particularly when biking. It seems practical when you're outside, but I've never been convinced enough to learn the technique myself.
28: Push one nostril closed with a finger. Shut mouth. Exhale as quickly as possible while wearing a shirt you don't much care for.
Farmer's blow
AKA "meth".
While I'm enjoying the thought of NickS deliberately going about learning the farmer's blow, I actually waiting to see how long it takes for Shearer to turn this thread into an argument about innate intelligence.
I can't bring myself to do it, either.
It's probably neater to swork the snot down to your throat and then spit. Better control.
You've got a shirt hanging there for a reason.
Exhale as quickly as possible
I wasn't actually looking for advice. But I'm sure that my problem is that I lack conviction on the exhale.
Ever go through the whole day walking about and doing your thing, talking to people and so on, to discover in the evening that your shirt has been misbuttoned akilter, off by one button all day long? Yep.
39: I've gotten through half of a day before realizing that my shirt was on backwards.
41: And it was a button-down Oxford.
37: While the worst exhale with passionate intensity.
Today, while riding in a bike pack as we all headed to class, a young man turned his head and spat. What's the problem with this, you ask? Why, the fact that I got the blow back, that's what the problem is. So unhygienic.
37: While the worst exhale with passionate intensity.
I almost made that joke myself, so I'm glad that you did.
11- snot rocket, of course, but also where I come from it's the "Yankee hankie."
I've heard a lot about this sneezing-into-the-elbow fad recently, but I'm dubious. I think Miss Manners is still carrying the torch for sneezing into a handkerchief, or if necessary a wad of Kleenex.
I think the upshot is that pretty much anything is not disgusting if you're just sneezing once or twice, whereas if you have a cold, or a spontaneous sneezing fit then your options are more limited. Sneezing into your hands would be awful, but sneezing into your elbow might soak your shirt in mucous. At least a handkerchief you can wring out.
What I do in most situations is I just sneeze into my hand and then if it's at all wet, I get self-conscious and try to surreptitiously wipe it on my pants or a napkin and try to remember not to shake anyone's hand for a while. In close quarters like a subway or elevator, I hold it in.
48
At least a handkerchief you can wring out.
That implies far more copious flow than I'm used to.
Well, you can at least carry several handkerchiefs and swap them out. You've only got one shirt.
re: 44
Spitting in public provokes a visceral near-instant reaction in me. It's like someone's poked the lizard-brain 'kill/rend/main' circuit.
A couple of times some teenage male has spat in my vicinity [it's fairly standard anti-social asshole behaviour] and it takes a massive exercise of will not to go totally postal.
I can't think of any other thing that provokes such an instant reaction. That young man in your cycling pack would have learned a whole new set of swearwords if he'd spat anywhere near me.
50: I nearly always wear two shirts.
47: omg bozo masks!!! I think you'd better give us some fruit or someone's liable to drop a house on your head.
A couple of times some teenage male has spat in my vicinity [it's fairly standard anti-social asshole behaviour]
We have a city code forbidding it. It's a good reason to give an asshole a ticket and run him for warrants.
Sanctimoniously lecturing about the dangers of spreading TB by public spitting would probably round out the ticket-giving experience nicely.
Bring back signs that say 'Expectorate in the Cuspidor'.
Sanctimoniously lecturing about the dangers of spreading TB by public spitting would probably round out the ticket-giving experience nicely.
Unfortunately, "rational man" in law enforcement works about at well as it does in economics.
re: 54
It's probably against some law here, too. It could certainly get you an 'asbo'.*
I've told a story here before, some teenage arse spat on the back of my mate F's jacket while we were at the cinema.** This was in retalation for F telling him to pipe down. F just quietly stood up, turned round, and punched him flush in the face. It was a beautifully cinematic moment.
* anti-social behaviour order
** we were only in our late teens ourselves, at the time.
57: Oh, I was mostly just thinking of a way to make the ticket-receiving process more annoying for the spitter.
I learned to sneeze into my elbowpit in situations where I was wearing chemical-soaked gloves. I've seldom snotrocketed though. Usually only when mowing my old arid lawn that wouldn't take the hint and die already.
I was mostly just thinking of a way to make the ticket-receiving process more annoying for the spitter.
expectoration never, intubation now
54: Er, you are supposed to be one of the good cops, right?
Speaking of arrests, the students are having a protest about the G-20 arrests. Unfortunately, they picked a time and location that could dick with my commute.
I was mostly just thinking of a way to make the ticket-receiving process more annoying for the spitter.
What's actually pretty effective for a lot of the biggest asshole types is taking their picture. Hell, we don't even do anything with the pic, but there seems to be a strong correlation between, "chronic anti social asshole" and "bug fuck paranoid about getting their picture taken".
Er, you are supposed to be one of the good cops, right?
Heh. We have certain "problem spots" downtown in my beat that are habitual hangouts for assholes. Aggressive panhandling, spitting, open container, fights, etc. The type of people who would spit on someone in a movie theatre, go into one of the businesses and knock shit over when they get told the bathrooms are customer only, habitual shoplifters, etc. Been kind of a pet project for a couple of us lately. Foot patrol along with a fair amount of aggressive order maintenance is pretty effective.
64: You should put one of those little signs with numbers on it (like they put next to blood drops on CSI) next to every bit of spittle and photograph the scene.
64: Thinking of effective ways to tease street-spitters is probably a terrible idea, but I bet dabbing at the spit with a cotton ball, and putting it in an envelope as you mutter "DNA testing" to yourself would really irritate people. But that would be wrong.
In college I was sitting in a lecture hall waiting for class to start when someone in the row behind me sneezed so hard I felt it on the back of my neck (air only, fortunately). A few days later I had a bad cold.
When I shipped some stuff from DC in May the guy processing the shipment sneezed directly into his hands and then handed me the receipt. At least I didn't get sick until after I'd finished moving.
Now I feel sort of guilty. I used to spit all the time, for sound tobacco-related reasons. Though I always tried to use the storm drain or something where nobody was likely to step/sit.
What would be really wrong would be doing similar things to litterers, toward whom I feel the same fury ttaM describes toward spitters.
I need to come up with a stock line for the litterers that shies away from, "Hey! What did you just do?! Did I just see you do that???"
Speaking of public confrontation over witnessed wrongs, a while back I saw a college-aged kid writing in wet cement on the sidewalk of our local main drag. I looked over and said "Hey" and the guy and his friends took-off running. That's when I realized that I look old. Also, that I'd never find out who Darrin loves.
What would be really wrong would be doing similar things to litterers, toward whom I feel the same fury ttaM describes toward spitters
OMG, I was hiking in Big Sur recently and came upon a group of twenty-something hipsters who were standing around smoking. I watched in horror as they threw their butts on the ground, in a protected wildlife parkland that is prone to devastation by wildfire. To cap it off, they were British. I was like, why don't you go home and ruin your own fucking country, you pukemaking hideous monsters, but there were a lot of them and only one of me. I wept with rage. I should have shot them.
71: We're both so old I can't be positive that you've told that story here before, but I think you have. s' okay. It's a good story.
I've recently strongly considered making a sign to carry around in my truck that I can hold up at appropriate moments: "STOP TEXTING. YOU'RE DRIVING, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SHITHEAD ARE YOU?"
I doubt it would do any good, as they usually aren't that into noticing the world around them that they're driving through. Maybe a device that would automatically text that message to their cellphone, or an external speaker that would blast that message loudly at the touch of a button.
Of course with the latter it would be hard not to implement a second button that triggered a "HOW ABOUT USING YOUR GODDAMN TURN SIGNAL, FUCKFACE?" message.
Also, that I'd never find out who Darrin loves.
You should have filled that part in yourself. Something uplifting, like "helping others" or "geometry".
73: I probably have. It (being taken as 'authority' by random strangers) was a very startling experience for me.
Maybe he just didn't want you to find out that he loved...you.
Or maybe Darrin's a nihilist and intentionally left that part blank.
77, 78: Much more likely that the kids were actually Darrin's friends and it was going to read "Darrin loves dog cock" or something.
I share ttaM's feelings towards spitters. My all time favorite has to be people who dump their ashtray out the window of their car while stopped at traffic lights. A friend witnessed someone run up to a vehicle that had just done this and furiously begin throwing butts back in through the window as the occupant tried to roll it up. I know that if I ever tried to do this the driver would be Mike Tyson or someone similarly large and belligerent, and I'd only cotton the fact as I watched the first butt bounce off his face.
Or maybe he just simply loves, intransitively.
80: Oh, god, I love that. I've seen the ashtray-dumping routine as well, and have trouble not showing my fangs curling my lip as I sit quietly in the car behind the offender's.
Around here in Baltimore, a white woman taking aggressive issue with a litterer is like to backfire pretty badly, however.
... a group of twenty-something hipsters... they were British... there were a lot of them and only one of me.
Where have you gone, Lone Wolf McQuade?
72 - Not saying it's ok to chuck your butts on the floor, but the British bit wasn't just capping it off, it was probably why they didn't think anything of what they were doing. Everyone throws their butts on the floor here as far as I can tell, and the whole forest fire thing is not something we have to worry about.
(I was greatly amused by a bin in Cornmarket (Oxford) recently - a cylindrical thing next to a bench, marked "Butts" or "Ash". Unfortunately it had no bottom, so underneath it was a small, tidy pile of fag ends.)
Serious about the city code, gswift? A couple of times I've had to spit in the corner to get my throat cleared, and I couldn't wait to get to a rest room.
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Was it LB that wanted a simply link to Emerson's posts at Open Left?
From a comment at CT
Sorry if pwnd, or if she et al knows already
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I don't know, but I can't recall that I've seen anybody who wasn't a farmer use the method.
British footballers do it all the time. While being watched by millions of people on TV around the world.
As for coughing techniques, what about the "turn your head to the side while a man in a white coat attentively fondles your testicles" method? Is that now deprecated too?
Us smokers might be less inclined to litter if they provided ashtrays on the damn garbage cans. They do in some European cities. Doesn't apply to Big Sur - carry out most trash, bury the rest.
carry out most trash, bury the rest
That sounds like the tag-line for a Tarantino-directed remake of Roadhouse.
I know of an ingenius way to get kids to do the elbow cough: My child came home from school saying that they learned to cough and sneeze into their elbow with Germy Wormie, and I was totally taken aback. I always covered with my hands. But I went to the website and now I get it, hands touch, elbows don't!! Kids can touch 300 surfaces in 1/2 hour and they hate to wash their hands. This is a simple thing that can make a huge difference.
Go unfiltered. Handroll, slows down the rate of smoking, plus the tobacco is not adulterated with saltpeter. You control humidity and thus the slowness and coolness of your smokes. Looks juvenile, but so?
Serious about the city code, gswift?
Text of the code.
Expectoration and spitting in public places.
It is unlawful for any person to expectorate or spit, or throw cigar stumps, cigarette stumps or quids of tobacco on the floor of any street railway car or other public conveyance, or public building, or upon any paved sidewalk or paved crosswalk within the city.
Do we need to keep an eye on BG?(I'm now picturing her as an aggressive panhandler with Juggalo tats) You got warrants?
This is one of our chronic problem guys downtown. But not lately. Snagged him jaywalking back in June and took him on some fresh warrants.
http://www.slco.org/JailRoster/JailRosterServlet?getSingleCase=getSingleCase&prisoner_id=285165
And here's what the sheet on a chronic drunk looks like.
http://www.slco.org/JailRoster/JailRosterServlet?getSingleCase=getSingleCase&prisoner_id=202337
Keep in mind that those warrants and charges are just things being dealt with in the here and now. Not even remotely a full history.
Old and busted: Obama is a Muslim.
New hotness: Obama is a Jew.
Inpeach!
96: I heard that he was a Rastafarian and will legalize as soon as he can set-up the vote so that exactly 420 members of Congress vote yes.