Re: On History

1

The only problem with that joke is that you have to make one too many jokes in the middle of playing it out. Stack the cards up until the whole pile *whoof* fall down. Unfortunately, I think they lost it there around minute two. Cute concept though!

max
['Sadly, the Rutles already did it.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 11-26-09 6:29 PM
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Yeah, after the initial bit, the absurdity is what keeps it funny, not the conceit. But it's a great idea.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-26-09 6:42 PM
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the absurdity is what keeps it funny

I was like, hold on there, Professor, where's the futuristic costumery—ooh, cyborg. Yes.

Also, this is the first time I've ever heard of the Rutles. Currently listening/watching.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-26-09 6:46 PM
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what keeps it funny

Assumes facts not in evidence.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-26-09 10:19 PM
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Eh, it was better than that Klosterman crap.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-26-09 10:42 PM
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Keep in mind here, that with everyone else taking the day off, my entertainment options are very limited tonight.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-26-09 10:43 PM
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Done better (perhaps because the jokes are more spaced out) in Dancers at the End of Time series, I think.


Posted by: U. Awl | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 2:50 AM
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+the


Posted by: U. Awl | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 2:50 AM
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It's funny! It's just one joke, but it is a funny joke with good variations. Go dissect a frog.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 6:49 AM
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The Scottie Pippen thing was funniest to me.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 7:32 AM
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10: Me too. But what do I know? I liked the Klosterman crap.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 9:32 AM
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10, 11: Racists.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 1:41 PM
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It's funny more as a comment on history than as a joke about the Beatles. (Although as a joke about the Beatles, I like it better than Klosterman's.)


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 5:37 PM
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Though I have my wife's reaction to demonstrate that the joke loses approximately 98% of its comedic impact if you haven't the faintest idea who Scottie Pippen is.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 7:29 PM
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And it's even worse if you don't know the Beatles.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 7:30 PM
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15: They covered Monkees' songs, right? Or maybe just aped the Monkees' sound?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 7:33 PM
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It definitely does require a certain amount of background knowledge about the Beatles and some of the other stuff.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 7:42 PM
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Like how to play a YouTube video and get your computer's sound to work.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 7:44 PM
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AN APE IS NOT A MONKEE


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 7:46 PM
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Sifu's favorite instrument is a bonoboe.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 8:31 PM
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Fuck to bonoboe.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 8:34 PM
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"I'm a Believer" is an old hymn, first sung by the Monkees in a performance at The Cloister. (The Monkees were named ironically, to show their disdain for creationism.)


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 9:51 PM
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Anyone who sends an IM on OkCupid saying "greetings and salutations" deserves to be ignored, right? (This is why I never go on dates.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 9:54 PM
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username1: greetings and salutations
username2: farewells and valedictions


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 9:57 PM
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23: I wouldn't say anyone.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 9:58 PM
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23: It's kind of quirky and sort of self-deprecatingly over-formal. Maybe. I say not a dealbreaker.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 9:58 PM
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Most people, though, yes.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 9:59 PM
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Just write back even more formally and pretentiously. Something like this should do as an ending: "Dans l'attente de votre reponse, Madame, veuillez agreer l'expression de mes sentiments devoues" signed: Valmont.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:18 PM
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Anyone who sends an IM on OkCupid saying "greetings and salutations" deserves to be ignored, right?

HELL NO


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:30 PM
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23.last: Yes. "Standards" are of course the ultimate autocockblock strategy.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:30 PM
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Someone should compose a response to this ad on my behalf.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:31 PM
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"Greetings and salutations. My name is neb, and I hail from another planet. Given your apparent love of the Star Wars series, I presume my provenance will prove a most indispensable source of mirth and badinage in our forthcoming courtship.

"Additionally, you spelled some shit wrong, and I like duck fat.

"Tepid regards,
neb"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:42 PM
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"Standards" are of course the ultimate autocockblock strategy.

ISO is pretty hot, though. Unlike ANSI and NIST, which are total turn-offs.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:48 PM
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If you're down with RFCs you're down with me.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:51 PM
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Given your apparent love of the Star Wars series

I assumed she meant that she couldn't relate because the person had an opinion in the first place.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:53 PM
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35: I can see that reading. She could also mean she likes each series on its merits or something. Sloppy writing, neb. Is this what you really want?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:55 PM
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So, romance-ad-wise, I'm looking for


  1. No bullet points


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:57 PM
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If you're down with RFCs you're down with me.

Lately I've been determined to use the phrase "down with OPP" in a paper in relation to this.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:57 PM
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So what does "phenomenology" mean in physics, anyway?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 10:59 PM
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• we are not currently friends, but if I were your friend I would advise you that your practice as you describe it poses some problems.
• ah, and so is this why you're resorting to posting to craig's list?
• also self-aware.
• am a little bitch (this is in case you can not already tell). But, I've been assured by several close friends, am not a little bitch in the bad way. To those friends, I said, "this is important, please be honest," and the close friends smiled and said, "be assured, you are not a little bitch in the way that makes other people feel bad or angry. You're a little bitch in the way that you'll correct grammar in blog comments and not care what people think," and I said, "oh! Well of course! Wait that's being a little bitch?"
• you never know just how you sound through other people's ears.
• profit!
• someone once told *me* that the world of Star Trek is rich and robust, but the world of Star Wars is thin and uninspired. At which point, *I* could no longer relate to that person as a human being.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:02 PM
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So who is being stripped of humanity in the last bullet? The person whose speech about Star Trek/Wars is reported or the craigslist poster?


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:05 PM
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So what does "phenomenology" mean in physics, anyway?

There's kind of a complicated story here involving social networks and attitudes and varying degrees of condescension and/or pride in the way the term is used. But one short version is "theory that makes at least a half-hearted attempt to connect with experiment." Another version might be "not string theory." (These two definitions are not really synonymous.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:05 PM
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41: that's pretty much completely unambiguous, innit?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:05 PM
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Subject line: Supernatural in a good way.

(Important to change the subject line. Shows attention to detail. I was going to suggest "Supernatural where it counts", but we don't know the lady yet.)

Hello friend,

I am well tonight, thanks. It has been a tasty couple days and I'm looking forward to a good weekend. I'm especially gladdened by your posting, which reminds me that charming people live all around me in San Francisco. I believe I meet all of your qualifications, since I generally wish people well, and beyond that, you aren't asking for much. Perhaps you thought it would be too much to hope for a fantastic cook with a keen eye for grammar, but I am here to prove that such a man exists!

I would very much like to meet a cute and smart woman who dances in hallways. Perhaps we could get brunch this weekend or a burrito some evening next week?

Yr faithful servant,

neB nosfloW


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:07 PM
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There's always room for ambiguity. Sometimes.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:07 PM
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(Also, I approve of the new mouse-over.)


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:08 PM
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To follow up on my own Another version might be "not string theory.", be assured that the requisite "High Energy Physics - Noumenology" joke has been made.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:10 PM
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I'm stuck at "generally endeared to humanity": does this mean some event endeared one to humanity? That is, humanity finds one lovable, rather than the reverse?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:14 PM
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Damn, essear.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:21 PM
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You're welcome, neB. No problem.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:23 PM
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Hello friend, laydee,

I am well tonight, thanks. It has been a tasty couple days and I'm looking forward to a good weekend even tastier fresh blood. I'm especially gladdened by your posting, which reminds me that charming delicious people live all around me in San Francisco.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:24 PM
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Thanks megan!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:24 PM
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Kindness!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:25 PM
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Sure thing! I love to help!


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:26 PM
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I am here to prove that such a man exists!

Lemma 1: There exists a well-ordering on the set of men in which the ordering relation is keenness of one's eye for grammar.

Proof: ....


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:27 PM
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Highly recommend going to brunch as a CL date, btw. It is very low pressure, but not as non-committal as coffee. Going out to brunch itself is yummy, so even if the company is uninspiring, you can be glad that you went out to breakfast.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:30 PM
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We went to brunch here a few weeks back. Delicious. The perfect spot for ignoring how badly the date part of the brunch date is going.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 11-27-09 11:33 PM
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I haven't read the thread, but I got a funny jolt when I clicked the link in ari's 57 -- I spent a good part of my mornings there for several years, when I was with my ex-boyfriend, whose favorite breakfast place that was. It's the perfect spot for ignoring how badly the date part of the brunch date relationship entire is going. Eggs and pancakes are usually things I prefer when I make them myself, but as I recall (and this was like ten years ago now) they were very good there, the gingerbread pancakes especially, and also the french toast.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 12:24 AM
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My Berkeley breakfast restaurant breakfast memories consist almost exclusively of Fat Apples (usually to go) or UC Cafe. But I rarely eat breakfast, restaurant or not.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 12:38 AM
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breakfast


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 12:39 AM
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Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 2:05 AM
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57: That's one of my favoritest places. I don't believe it's possible to have a bad brunch date there.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 9:10 AM
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the world of Star Trek is rich and robust, but the world of Star Wars is thin and uninspired.

This is true if you are talking about richness in plot, character, ideas about human nature, and moral sophistication. I suppose it is not true if you are talking about the number of weird aliens or cool space ships.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 9:24 AM
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Anyone who sends an IM on OkCupid saying "greetings and salutations" deserves to be ignored, right? (This is why I never go on dates.)

Could indicate they're a fan of Charlotte's Web or Heathers. Or both. Neither of which is a particularly bad thing. Or Stanley's reading in 26 seems like a strong possibility. Were you just reading it as being pretentious or something?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 9:29 AM
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So this friend of mine went on a couple of dates with a moderately interesting guy. The last one was a trip to the beach with him, and her son (11 y.o.) came along so she could check out his interactions with the kid to get a better feel for the guy. Her date decided to try winning her son over by giving him a PSP he had lying around the house. Turns out it was all loaded up with Teh pr0n. Fail, dude.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 10:13 AM
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Is getting a PSP loaded with porn the new finding a Playboy in the ditch beside the ball field?


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 10:21 AM
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66: Is finding a Playboy in the ditch by the ball field a thermonuclear autocockblock? I've never encountered this before.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 10:35 AM
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Oh, I get it. It's a plausible deniability thing. It just fell off a truck, I'm holding it for a friend, these are not the droids you're looking for.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 10:45 AM
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67, 68, No no. In the old days in the United States the classic way an 11 year old boy would get his first exposure to porn was to accidentally find a Playboy someplace out of the way, like a dumpster or a ditch. The cliche was literally true for me. Sometimes you find your dad's collection in the garage.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 10:50 AM
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re: 66 - 69

The Scud Mountain Boys even wrote a [good] song about it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kfCQg-coGc


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 11:32 AM
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69: Sad how the internet has destroyed these rites of passage. No first exposure to nekkid boobies in National Geographic, either.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 11:39 AM
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I found my dad's porn and his pot at the same time, although I wasn't 100% sure it was pot. In my memory it wasn't at all clumpy -- maybe entirely shake.

Eventually he just gave me the magazines to get me to stop looking in his stuff.


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 12:10 PM
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I knew a woman in HS whose dad was vehemently anti-drug. One day she noticed that someone had clearly tampered with her pot stash, and taken a little. She had no siblings, but her mom seemed unusually relaxed. From then on, she always bought a little extra. Mother and daughter never spoke of their secret, even in private, until years later when mom got divorced.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 12:22 PM
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71: Before I got to Nat Geo, there were the New York Times and other mainstream sources for the Maidenform "Dreaming" ads.

http://www.vintageadsandstuff.com/adsmaidenform.html


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 12:54 PM
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Nothing wrong with "Three's Company" and a little bit of imagination.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 1:33 PM
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I dunno, seems like it could to lead to a lifelong fixation on wacky misunderstandings.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 2:42 PM
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I dreamed a million boys masturbated to me in my Maidenform bra.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 2:46 PM
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76: I was 30 before I stopped feeling the need to make my landlord think I was gay.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 3:35 PM
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Hopefully no one will ever give and bequeath anything to essear in a last will and testament.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 4:07 PM
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I, being of sound mind and lifted-and-separated body, do hereby...


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 4:13 PM
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I dreamed I inherited millions in my Maidenform bra.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 4:23 PM
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OT: I don't wish to interrupt. But when someone "pokes" you on FB, do you get some kind of message that you've been poked? I would assume so. I just can't figure out why Facebook keeps suggesting that I poke this one friend in particular, or help her find her friends, or various other things regarding her, this one particular friend, over the course of a couple of weeks now.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 4:52 PM
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when someone "pokes" you on FB, do you get some kind of message that you've been poked?

Yes.

That thing where Facebook suggests you poke particular people (or send them messages, or write on their wall, or whatever) is pretty new, and they may not have the algorithm behind it fully worked out yet.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 4:56 PM
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Because she hasn't been active recently, and they want you to bother her.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 4:58 PM
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But I am not active recently either! Does this mean that FB is telling people to poke me? Good lord.

But actually I may have figured it out: both I and this friend have recently been tagged in high school photos by another friend. I'm FB friends with the other friend, and the friend they want me to bother isn't.

So, nice algorithm after all, guys, but I'm not going to bother my friend just because there are pictures of her, in costume, including one as a rockette of some sort in a high school play, on FB now. Am I. Am I?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 5:09 PM
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Am I. Am I?

Only you know the answer to that question, parisomon.

Well, you and the all-knowing facebook algorithm.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 5:26 PM
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Oh, I sent her a note after all. We used to be best friends, after all.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 5:30 PM
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Facebook wins again!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 5:39 PM
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Sad, isn't it. Actually the friend who posted the photos wins, or at least is just damned persistent.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 5:46 PM
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79 to?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 6:01 PM
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23 and thirty less seven.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 6:02 PM
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91: Your aiding and abetting essear amidst his trials and tribulations is touching, but you really should cease and desist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 6:35 PM
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I see and realize that I was being dense and thick-skulled.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 8:52 PM
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93: For all intents and purposes, yes.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-28-09 10:19 PM
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69: Just a note here that I was first exposed to Playboy as a 6-y.o. when my neighbor located his dad's stash in a closet (slick hiding place, Mr. Castro). But then we moved, and I was long deprived. I still recall spotting a Hustler in a trash can on a golf course when I was ~11, but I was with my dad and couldn't figure out a solution. This obviously plays an outsize role in my memories.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-29-09 11:28 AM
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I was six when another kid in my class told the rest of us boys the basics of sex (nobody brought any photographic information). What is funny is that this guy was reduced to tears when, two years later, we told him that Santa didn't really bring presents to everybody's house. We weren't even trying to do anything but compare notes on where to look for presents our parents had hidden. It never occurred to us that anyone our age didn't know.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-29-09 4:14 PM
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96: Somebody got a little cocky because he understood the subtext of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" young.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 11-29-09 8:08 PM
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My main exposure was written porn. Genevan department store book sections had english language Victorian porn plus a whole bunch of modern cookie cutter French porn books. On a couple occasions I found myself furtively reading the stuff next to one of my (female) classmates. Neither of us acknowledged each others presence, nor did we ever speak of it. Less cute was the scuzzy guy who wanted to show me his porn collection and kept following me around after I refused.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 11-29-09 8:26 PM
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Years ago, SNL did a commercial for something like "The Assimilated Jew's Christmas Album." My favorite was "I saw Momma Kissing Judah Maccabee."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 11-29-09 8:39 PM
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Scottie!


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 11-30-09 8:46 AM
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100: Well played.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 11-30-09 8:48 AM
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