Re: Here is a good idea

1

I expect you'll get some pushback on your dishwasher idea.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:22 AM
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I know. The mineshaft is such an contrary place. Who could buck such a sensible assertion? These bozos, that's who.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:25 AM
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One time I had a really great idea about a new type of left turn sign. My genius was totally unrecognized here.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:25 AM
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Loading like utensils together is bad bad bad. Spoons tend to, well, spoon, leaving dirty surfaces unexposed to the cleaning magic of the dishwasher. Forks can do something similar. Knives together is probably okay.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:27 AM
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See? SEE?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:30 AM
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The Chipotle story is very cute. Next time you should complain if they don't light candles.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:40 AM
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Mom did light the candles. It was full-on dinner.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:43 AM
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I solve the dishwasher issue by not having one. We can wash our silverware in whatever crazy order we want!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:49 AM
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Stanley is right: It's the random-packedness that allows the sudsy water to get in and clean the utensils. And is it really that much of a bother to sort them when you're unloading?


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:52 AM
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I put the silverware in the dishwasher as you suggest. I have not had the problem described in 4, perhaps because we have a mixture of shapes and sizes of silverware.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:55 AM
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perhaps because we have a mixture of shapes and sizes of silverware.

Us too.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:59 AM
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perhaps because we have a mixture of shapes and sizes of silverware

Your silverware is mismatched? That won't do at all.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:05 AM
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Your silverware is mismatched? That won't do at all.

Well, that's what you can you expect from the sort of person who does not own a stand mixer.


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:11 AM
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A moment or two of care to de-nest the spoons, etc., immediately prior to running the washer will take care of Stanley's objection. Also, placing the implements handle down increases exposure of the relevant surface areas to washing action, while simultaneously preventing the knives and forks from penetrating and breaking the plastic mesh bottom of the utensil caddy. These are not compelling reasons for Mrs. Chopper.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:22 AM
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It was full-on dinner.

That sounds awful.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:24 AM
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My hatred of washing utensils has driven me to a diet of hands-only food items. However, it's nigh impossible to close the dishwasher with my hands in there.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:25 AM
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One can't, but two can.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:26 AM
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Stanley's objection is purely theoretical. I have never observed any such problem. And our flatware is very much a matching set.


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:27 AM
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I wonder: is anybody ever perfectly happy with the arrangement of prongs in their dishwasher, such that all of the cups, glasses, bowls, and dishes have a perfect place where they fit just so, and wherein various combinations of cups, glasses, bowls and dishes can be accommodated? Loading the dishwasher drives me insane.


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:30 AM
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I believe Sir Kraab's father has very strong opinions on dishwasher loading.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:33 AM
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One can't, but two can.

Two can Sam?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:34 AM
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I have never observed any such problem

I certainly have with spoons. Forks are usually OK.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:34 AM
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I've been loading like silverware in the dishwasher like that for 20 years (smug, smug). I keep eating surfaces up, stems down. The only spoons that are in danger of spooning are the chinese soup spoons.

They go into the dishwasher one by one anyway, no use NOT grouping them. And when you're dry, you grab the whole set at once and then drop it in the drawer. Done.

Back in high school, my girlfriend saw what I was doing and MOCKED me, cackling at the top of her voice IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE! That, of course, was a giant turn off.


Posted by: JP Villanueva | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:34 AM
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I don't even have a dishwasher.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:43 AM
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My dishwasher has converted itself into a combination dishwasher/floorsoaker. Not good!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:45 AM
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Probably because it got its feelings hurt that you didn't trust it to blast through the spooning forks.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:49 AM
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Probably because it was so relieved at my right-thinking dishwasher-loading techniques that it relieved itself right then and there.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:51 AM
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You'd really better walk your dishwasher more often, Stanster.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:53 AM
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I've done this for years as well, and never had a problem of spoons spooning. And, traditionally, if the Chipotle makes it home, it gets eaten on plates. Haven't lit candles, that I recall.

But now we don't even have a Chipotle.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:55 AM
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Knives go in blade down. Good knives get hand washed, of course.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:56 AM
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You're sorting them either before or after the wash; I don't see why "before" would be better.


Posted by: DonBoy | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:02 AM
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Jeez, I've never seen people care so much about something so fucking trivial as utensil dishwasher placement. Clearly, you people are driven!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:19 AM
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4 gets it exactly right. Do they reheat the Chipotle complete with the lettuce and sour cream and cold salsa? Because ewww.


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:26 AM
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31: Because you load silverware one item at a time, sometimes over a period of days. You unload it all at once.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:26 AM
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33 -- Agreed: eww.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:29 AM
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Do they reheat the Chipotle complete with the lettuce and sour cream and cold salsa? Because ewww.

Yes. Yes they dewwww. Except they don't like sour cream so that doesn't become Hot and Sour cream.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:30 AM
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You unload all of your silverware at once? Ewww.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:59 AM
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37: Yeah, that's silly. One takes stuff out of the dishwasher as the need arises.

Meanwhile, there's a Have Gun - Will Travel marathon on Encore. Find out what a man is, y'all.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:02 AM
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4 gets it exactly right, and 34 is wrong. If, as Don Boy observed, the sortation has to be done at some point anyway, it is actually better, from an industrial engineering point of view (and that's really what we're talking about here), to do the sortation at the end rather than piecemeal.

Setting aside the spooning issue (which IMX is a nontrivial concern), there are several technical reasons why late sortation is a more efficient and more reliable technique.

1. The destination bins are unambiguous and and don't change from load to load. Stable process = higher quality.

2. The all-at-once sortation yields productivity benefits from moving up the "experience curve". Once you're in the swing of things, it goes faster. No time lost to reorientation "where do the forks go again?". Less retooling = higher line productivity.

3. The all at once sortation is executed by one individual. Fewer shift changes = less operator-induced variability.

4. Presortatation necessarily yields inefficient use of space, if you have comparatively few of one utensil in a particular load. You might have twelve spoons crammed into one space while a single salad fork takes up the same room in another slot. Overspecialization of assets = lower average utilization and uneven wear.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:10 AM
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40

You heard the consultant, heebie: you're fired.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:13 AM
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41

Also, the spooning issue Stanley mentions is equally true of drying as it is washing and rinsing. Presorted utensils have more residual moisture at the end of the cycle and require more hand-drying (the dreaded "rework" in industrial engineering terms).


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:15 AM
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The fourth reason in 39 is the only compelling one. The first two would be rendered toothless if one simply adopted a policy in which the same utensils were loaded into the same places in the dishwasher, and the third is immaterial with so few participants.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:16 AM
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The first two would be rendered toothless if one simply adopted a policy in which the same utensils were loaded into the same places in the dishwasher

Reliance on "policy" is a classic mistake in quality control. You have to engineer away the sources of process variability. The differently shaped recesses in the silverwear drawer that provide a visual cue ("spoons go here") are a good example of how to do it properly.

Stanley and I are building a Lexus plant, here. Heebie and Wolfson are building a Buick factory.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:25 AM
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44

Yay! I'm gonna be rich!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:27 AM
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45

The differently shaped recesses in the silverwear drawer that provide a visual cue ("spoons go here") are a good example of how to do it properly.

I've never seen such recesses in a silverwear drawer, but then, I've never seen a silverwear drawer.

Where I live now, there are just different jars for the different articles of silverware. It is easy to know where to put individual items because no jars are ever empty; there's always something in a given jar to which to match the item to be put away. This could be adapted to the dishwasher. Simply never remove the last item.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:29 AM
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in the silverwear drawer

How do you wear your spoons, Knecht?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:30 AM
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47

And I'd remind you that I never endorsed heebie's plan. I'm just saying that the case you made isn't as good as you think. It's important to be able to listen to criticism. As I said, I don't have a dishwasher. You can keep your factories and plants; I'll be sitting over here in my humble craftperson's workshop, really taking the arrivistes for a ride.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:31 AM
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How do you wear your spoons, Knecht?

On his nose, of course.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:31 AM
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49

46: Like this?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:32 AM
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In any case, isn't just as much a policy to put the item that looks as if it matches the recess into that recess? It might be one that comes more naturally to the worker, and it might require less in the way of training training, than a policy to put the forks in the second drawer, but we know enough now to be suspicious of the unthinking invocation of such categories.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:33 AM
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no jars are ever empty; there's always something in a given jar to which to match the item to be put away.

Arrgh! Excess idle inventory! The inexhorable tide of rational capitalism will come sweep away your quaint practices.

This could be adapted to the dishwasher. Simply never remove the last item.

Thus further aggravating the already pernicious "is it clean or dirty?" problem -- a major cause of catastrophic dishwasher-related quality failures.

No thanks.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:40 AM
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What do you mean? It would always be clean.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:41 AM
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Or rather, you should treat everything in the dishwasher as if it's dirty, unless you've just run it and are emptying it.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:43 AM
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54

This whole thing really just shows that dishwashers are a needless source of complexity in life and should be done away with.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:43 AM
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Our utensils are mismatched, but my first thought was that I try to space everything out evenly around the utensil holder and with Heebie's plan that would be impossible unless we use equal numbers of each utensil. Which is rare. I think in this house we go through forks three times faster than knives or spoons.

Although come to think of it I can't think of why spacing out utensils would matter. If they're so tightly packed that stuff doesn't get clean, then sure, that's a problem, but that seems unlikely.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:47 AM
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Also, my mother presorts the silverwear, and a near infallible heuristic in matters of housekeeping is to do the opposite of what my mother does.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:51 AM
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To the post: Heebie is wrong, as has been adequately explained.

Vaguely on-topic: can anything edible be done with an egg, a paper plate, and a microwave?

Off-topic: why was the comment I posted last night (on an older thread) deleted?


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:55 AM
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The drawer that I use for cutlery is too small for any cutlery drawer insert thing I've ever seen. So once I've taken out sharp knives, peeler, wooden spoons etc, I just pick up the whole basket and dump it satisfyingly noisily into the drawer. Ha!

I do however have 4 laundry baskets, so everyone has to sort their dirty clothes out before putting them in the basket and then whatever's full goes in the machine.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 11:57 AM
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59

Knecht, you are incredibly attractive right now.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:00 PM
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60

Knecht. Please. "Silverware".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:03 PM
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Knecht was referring to his mother's jewelry, nosflow.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:05 PM
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"silverwear"


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:06 PM
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63

I don't have a dishwasher. I am a Volvo neocraftsmanship shop. We may be slower, but we can handle anything from a teaspoon to a heavily soiled oven roasting tin with minimal retooling.

(More practically, it's my experience that the spoon thing can be a problem, but the bigger quality problem is pooling of wash water in glasses post-wash and associated lack of shiny. I theorise that this is due to poor orientation caused by an excessive concentration on maximising the size of each load.)


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:07 PM
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60: oh, blimey. I do know how to spell, I sware I do!

59: I'm pretty sure you could kick my ass, too.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:08 PM
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Tell me more about sortation! Or maybe queuing!


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:18 PM
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57

Off-topic: why was the comment I posted last night (on an older thread) deleted?

I can still see it. Or did you make more than one?


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:21 PM
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is anybody ever perfectly happy with the arrangement of prongs in their dishwasher

AB loved the upper rack in our recently-deceased DW, and is still unhappy with our objectively-better new one. I think the lower rack is about a wash, albeit with a much-loved (by me) extra basket in the front right corner for tall utensils, safely out of reach of the spinning arms.

I have, in fact, been victimized by nested spoons. And I pity Chopper for his utensilly irrational wife.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:23 PM
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68

Tell me more about sortation! Or maybe queuing!

A veritable cornucopia.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:25 PM
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66: weird--now I see it to. And I saw it last night. But it wasn't there this morning.

Whatever--all's well that ends well.

Now someone tell me how to go about eating this egg.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:34 PM
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70

I meant "too", of course.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:35 PM
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I have a lightly-used attachment thing that goes in the upper rack and has a bottom that collects quite a lot of water. Except that it was cleverly designed with a notch for drainage. Except that I don't use it often enough to remember to orient it right (which KR would rightly point out means it's not actually that clever).

I noticed the other day that our new dishwasher has upward-facing thumb-indents for an adjustable rack. Cleverly - and attractively - it's molded (not merely notched) to allow for drainage. Kudos, Kitchenaid industrial designers.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:37 PM
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Now someone tell me how to go about eating this egg.

As with moldy bread, I think the idea is to freeze it for a while and then eat it raw.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:39 PM
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69.last - it would probably cook just fine on the plate. Especially if cold from the fridge, it should set up nicely and not spread too far before it cooks. Break it onto the plate inside the microwave.

No idea on timing.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:40 PM
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39: there are several technical reasons why late sortation is a more efficient and more reliable technique.

5. You might die while the dishwasher is running.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:48 PM
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75

Don't you have a cup? Or anything but a paper plate?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:49 PM
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Take the egg and the microwave to a neighbor's and tell them that you will give them the microwave if they boil the egg for you. If they balk offer the paper plate as a bonus.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 12:51 PM
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Remember when I used to be right about everything? Then you guys got broken.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 1:00 PM
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78

The spoon nesting problem is solved with one of these.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 1:03 PM
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Remember when I used to be right about everything? Then you guys got broken.

Ignore these people, HG, you are right about the silverware thing.

With all respect to KR, the efficiency analysis focuses on the wrong step. The best time to sort is when all of the silverware is in the sink waiting to be put in the dishwasher. Reach down, grab all of the spoons, rinse them and put them all in one compartment of the dishwasher. Repeat for knives and forks. When the dishwasher is done, grab the clean and dry collections of spoons, knives and forks and put them away. Easy as pie (well, easier, actually).


Posted by: Idealist | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 1:56 PM
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I have clear memories of being mocked by one boyfriend for not sorting the silverware, and then mocked by the next boyfriend for sorting it. Neither could fathom what the hell I was thinking, doing everything so so wrong. This has led me to believe that there is no pleasing people.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:43 PM
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One of those gentlemen also had a real problem with the way I press elevator buttons. I forget what his objections were, but he came to the conclusion that I am barely more than animal in my capacity for reason.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:44 PM
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Tell me more about sortation! Or maybe queuing!

One of my first -- possibly my very first -- unfogged comments concerned queueing theory. Can't find it in the archives, though.

A key concept in queueing is "first come, first served"...laydeez.


Posted by: knecht ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:46 PM
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a real problem with the way I press elevator buttons

Maybe it squicked him out to hear you ask other people, "Going down?" with an eyebrow raised and a coy expression your face.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:48 PM
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81: One of those gentlemen also had a real problem with the way I press elevator buttons

And then you ran around the lobby grabbing people and saying, "I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a woman!"


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:49 PM
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Bave has also noticed my complete inability to organize money in my wallet for hasty, graceful payment. This I can trace to my mother, who spends more time thumbing through her wallet at counters than anyone who has ever lived. There but for the grace of God go I.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:50 PM
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People organize money in their wallets? I just shove all the bills in there willy-nilly. And let's say you have all the ones and the fives and the tens in separate sections; wouldn't you still have to thumb through to find the fives if that's what you needed? I suppose having all the ones together would help if you needed, say, three ones. Still, doesn't seem like it would save that much time unless you had separate pouches for each denomination that were marked with tabs.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:54 PM
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Engineer grandfather, famously in our family, came up with a rota for use of the single toilet during my parents' wedding. I.e. everyone got 15 minutes every morning.

Not so long ago this came up in conversation. I pointed out that it would work as well, or better, to assign the slots at random and let the users swap them - the point was the queueing, or rather, the rate limiting to prevent a queue forming.

I hope I didn't kill him....


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:55 PM
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Re: Dishwashers. I am not good at maximizing the number of dishes in each load. I know that this is good for one's water (included in rent) and electric bills as well as the environment, but the amount of time and stress it would take to completely maximize it is not worth it.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:57 PM
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I don't know if the organization or the fine motor skills are the problem, but I am sort of slow at paying. I can draw and paint, and, if I put my mind to it, I can do very pretty handwriting, but so can my mother and she can't handle bills gracefully at all. Is it a math problem? We're both also reasonably good at math. It's like you get all those things together and it's a perfect storm of slowness and stupidity.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:57 PM
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One of those gentlemen also had a real problem with the way I press elevator buttons. I forget what his objections were, but he came to the conclusion that I am barely more than animal in my capacity for reason.

Do you lean your hand against the button, risking pushing adjacent buttons in your sloppy slovenlity, instead of using one elegant finger?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 2:59 PM
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Work someplace where you handle large amounts of cash, and you will become very swift at paying with cash. Cash in my wallet is generally organized by denomination, all facing the same direction, as you are taught to organize your drawer. Drives me insane when I see cashiers with messy drawers - and those who don't hand you the coins and bills separately, to allow you the ability to put them away swiftly.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:05 PM
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The slow part of paying is picking out coins. Bills are grouped by denomination in my wallet. Coins are loose in my pocket. I'm not sure there's any good way to optimize that problem.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:07 PM
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... and then I found five dollars.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:14 PM
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92: You could wear one of these at all times.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:14 PM
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82 - I have heard my engineer sister mutter darkly, "single queue, multi-port, people!"


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:15 PM
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96

Previously in data structures.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:40 PM
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A key concept in queueing is "first come, first served"...laydeez.

Spoken like a serial monogamist. LIFO organization makes for both concurrent and lasting relationships.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:42 PM
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Remember when I used to be right about everything?

Perhaps it is like a detachable penis? Did you accidentally transfer the power of infallibility to HP? HP is my Higher Power.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:46 PM
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organize money in my wallet

Wallet?! I just stuff the bills in my pockets. Or, when necessary, in a waist band.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:50 PM
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100

I just have everything charged to my account.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:51 PM
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101

Don't you have a cup? Or anything but a paper plate?

In fact I do have a plastic cup! Will that help me?

I also have a plastic spoon and a paper towel, but I didn't think those were relevant to the problem. Perhaps I was mistaken.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:57 PM
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Geez, Brock. You must be really hungry by now.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 3:59 PM
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There is something to be said for asilon's approach in 58 of simply not sorting the silverware at all. Since it takes almost no effort to find the utensils you want in an unsorted drawer, the effort spent optimizing or engineering the process to make it faster/easier may take more time and energy than you end up saving.


Posted by: wink ;) | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:00 PM
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Are you starving, Brock? Do you need us to order you food over the web?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:01 PM
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101: Put egg in cup. Use spoon to scramble egg. Microwave for about a minute. Voila, something resembling the egg in an Egg McMuffin.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:01 PM
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Geez, Brock. You must be really hungry by now

Actually, in the meantime I went out to a bar and had a burger (and a few drinks). But I'd still like to eat this egg before it goes bad, on Monday. 105 sounds like a good method--I think that's the plan for breakfast tomorrow.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:05 PM
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You have internet access but not a pot and a stove?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:07 PM
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I have a stove. But no pots or pans.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:08 PM
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A stove! Why didn't you say.

Soak fresh egg(s) in lukewarm water for a few minutes and heat your oven to 105°C/220°F. Lay the eggs directly on the grate and bake for 5 hours. That's exactly 300 minutes.
Remove the eggs from the oven and leave them for 5 minutes in a cold water bowl.
Remove the shell. The egg white has turned brown.
The egg whites shrink a little during the long baking, making your eggs are conveniently flat on the bottom. You can easily stand them upright on a dish.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:18 PM
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Monday, huh?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:20 PM
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I just have everything charged to my account.

The Kobe method.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:26 PM
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Does the egg go bad precisely at midnight? Or, like, Monday morning, 9 AM?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:37 PM
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I keep imagining a bad experimental short film in which our hero, Brock, sits at a hotel breakfast table across from an egg on a paper plate, staring at it until the clock strikes midnight on Monday, at which instant he says, "You win this time, egg," and places it gently in the garbage.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:40 PM
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109: I assume you are trying to make it seem like walking to the store and buying a pan is the easy way.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:48 PM
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I have given up. I'll ask.

So, Brock. Where are you that you have a stove but no pots or pans, and only one egg that's poised to go bad?

For extra credit, estimate the difference between the value of the egg and your hourly income. Or, possibly, figure out how long it would take you to earn enough money to buy an egg if you were paid the federal minimum wage.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:51 PM
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115: I long ago concluded that Brock lives in a world similar to, but operating on slightly different principles than, the world the rest of us live in.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:52 PM
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A more intriguing question is why Brock has an egg in his hotel room. I now imagine him packing for the trip, casting about for something foodlike to bring along, something ... ah! an egg! I shall bring an egg! It fits neatly right here in the corner of my briefcase!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:54 PM
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1. paint face on paper plate
2. glue plate to face
3. chuck egg at cop


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:55 PM
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Semi-pwned by LB.

It's possible that Brock is in the final stages of moving, the dishes are packed and gone, and what's left in the house is an egg. And the electricity will be turned off on Monday.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:57 PM
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116: I'm not sure that I'm prepared to concede 'similar to'.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 4:58 PM
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I assumed his tapeworm had escaped and eaten everything else. Including his wife and children. And now has him trapped in the gutted kitchen. (I'm imagining something like Tremors.) Really sorry to hear that, Brock.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:01 PM
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Since somebody who isn't me brought-up Tremors, I'll mention something that hit me on my most recent viewing of the movie. The male lead's name is "Valentine." This is his first name, so it seems especially odd.

Valentine and Earl spend the whole movie being chased by something they can only sense indirectly most of the time. Only rarely can it be directly experienced and when directly experienced it is often deadly. I'm starting to wonder if the whole movie isn't a dissertation on the difficulty of love in the modern era. Especially since watching Reba McEntire shooting a giant worm is an obvious turn-on.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:10 PM
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I ate a food for the first time today: the Jerusalem artichoke (which is neither an artichoke nor from Jerusalem), sliced raw. They are very tasty.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:13 PM
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123: yeah those are great. Sauteed in butter is also an excellent preparation choice.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:15 PM
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Sauteed in butter is also an excellent preparation choice.

If you have a pan. Don't taunt Brock.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:16 PM
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I'm still trying to figure out how AWB can be pressing elevator buttons in a way that's so problematic that it should call for comment.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:16 PM
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John Goodyer, 1621, on Jerusalem artichokes:

which way soever they be dressed and eaten, they stir and cause a filthy loathsome stinking wind within the body, thereby causing the belly to be pained and tormented, and are a meat more fit for swine than men.

They are extremely tasty, but my own experience mirrors Goodyer's. The loathsome stinking wind was so bad I wished myself dead for several hours.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:17 PM
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126: I cannot know. The gentleman in question was an elevator operator, so I suppose he would know, but he could not explain to me what I was doing wrong or how to rectify it, only that I was a fool. I am not the type to press buttons multiple times or anything that I think of as weird and senseless behavior.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:19 PM
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128: Okay. It's just, um, it's kind of like taking issue with the way someone flips a light switch.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:24 PM
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Raw sunchokes are fart factories.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:25 PM
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129: I've gotten shit about that, too.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:25 PM
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Except that I don't use it often enough to remember to orient it right (which KR would rightly point out means it's not actually that clever).

My sister had an early nineties mazda with some weird electrical problem. It necessitated changing-out of the alternator a couple of times per year. Sadly it was possible to put the belt-guard on two ways--one of which required a great deal of additional knuckle-skinning.

All it would have taken, you bastards, was one additional peg and one additional hole and I'd have so many fewer scarred fingers.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:36 PM
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thinkbabynames says:
The boy's name Valentine -- also used as girl's name -- is pronounced VAL-en-tyne. It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "strong, healthy". Variant of Valentinus, the name of more than 50 saints and three Roman emperors. Despite the popular Valentine's day, Saint Valentine himself has nothing to do with romantic love. Valentine has 9 variant forms: Val, Valen, Valentijn, Valentin, Valentinian, Valentino, Valentinus, Valentyn and Vallen. Valentine is a somewhat common first name for men (#1041 out of 1220) and an even more common last name for both men and women (#751 out of 88799). (1990 US Census)


Posted by: tierce de lollardie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:37 PM
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This is somewhat on topic, so I'll not use the pause/play symbols.

Upon my semi-annual super thorough cleaning of the kitchen today, I have discovered that my kitchen is essentially a cesspool of disgustingness (redundant? I care not). Have you ever looked under your stove? I wish I could go back to a state of blissful ignorance, where I was unaware of the grossness that my casual-everything-looks-clean-on-the-surface normal cleaning style leaves behind. Uck.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:39 PM
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Also: Now I want to watch Tremors and see Reba M shooting giant worms. It is never not on TV except tonight.


Posted by: tierce de lollardie | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:42 PM
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People clean under their stoves?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:45 PM
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Parsimon gets it right. We're in the process of moving, and I'm alone in furnitureless apartment for a few weeks. My family, furniture and other worldly possessions are 957 miles away. To survive I have only a sleeping bag, a suitcase full of clothes, some basic toiletries, a laptop (with wifi!), and a snow shovel. And a microwave, and an egg that expires on Monday.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:45 PM
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137: That was the basic theory I had come up with, but I couldn't figure out the microwave part. I guess it makes sense if you're loading that up for the final haul.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:50 PM
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Do you have a bowl? You could poach it.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:54 PM
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What are you planning on eating after you finish off the egg?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:56 PM
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For a few weeks? I think they should have left you more food. Not only do you have to use the egg, but you have to make it last.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:56 PM
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and an egg that expires on Monday.

An egg that expires on Monday is safe to eat for several days after that, if you've been refrigerating it. Usually. The expiration date is more of a 'best flavor' kind of thing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:59 PM
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Brock, I have to suggest that if you're there for another couple of weeks, you should get some more food, and possibly an actual plate, a bowl, and maybe a couple of other things (a can opener)? Otherwise I guess you can get away with a plastic spoon for utensils. I'd want a knife myself.

You can't camp without a plate/bowl and spork, silly!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 5:59 PM
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It's possible I'll eventually have to go to the grocery store. Or eat out. But I don't want the egg to go to waste...


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:00 PM
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You can't camp without a plate/bowl and spork, silly!

You can if there's a nearby bar serving burgers and drinks, and you've got access to capital.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:01 PM
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144.last; Hide it in an out-of-the-way place for the next residents to find. Like Easter come early!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:02 PM
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Dammit! I should have taken the egg to the bar and asked them to fry it on the grill and throw it on my burger. Stupid, stupid, stupid.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:02 PM
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What are you planning on eating after you finish off the egg?

The neighbors, if it comes to that.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:09 PM
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145: For a few weeks!? Boring. A person wants a piece of toast and peanut butter, or a banana, every now and then. They do not have these things at the bar.

Of course you don't need a plate/bowl and spork for those either. Still. I stand by my claim.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:10 PM
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A stove without pans means you can still make Jiffy Pop, assuming somebody still manufactures Jiffy Pop.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:12 PM
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Yeah, I was thinking popcorn too (microwave, even). Also cereal, instant oatmeal, various raw things (fruit), canned things like soup and chili in the microwave, or I suppose the newfangled tv dinners in the oven.

Pity there's no toaster oven, or a pan, though. For toast, toasted sandwiches, and so on. Plus the bowl, which I mentioned, and which is kind of necessary for cereal or oatmeal.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:26 PM
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A person wants a piece of toast and peanut butter, or a banana, every now and then. They do not have these things at the bar.

I bet they have them at the store.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:29 PM
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It's also really helpful to be able to boil water, for coffee/tea. You can in theory do that in the microwave, but not in a plastic cup.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:29 PM
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152: Yes, but the theory was that Brock could get away simply with eating out for these weeks. He's going to have to go to the store.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:33 PM
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Loading the dishwasher drives me insane.

I have a similar problem, in that my wife's loading of the dishwasher drives me insane.

If I were Brock, I would take the egg to someplace where I could order ramen or some such noodle-soupy thing and stir it in.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:48 PM
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154: I'll admit I'm a wee bit skeptical, this being the Brock Landers we all know and love, but it sounds he's got things more or less under control and can competently make it to the store if need be.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:50 PM
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I still call him Btorck in my head.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:51 PM
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this being the Brock Landers we all know and love, I assumed he actually wouldn't mind eating all his meals out and/or surviving without going to the store.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:52 PM
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this being the Brock Landers we all know and love, who the fuck even knows? Just so long as he reports it here.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:54 PM
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I just enjoy camping and haven't done it for a while, so I'm enjoying the thought experiment. That is: no bowl? Huh. No way to boil water? Huh. Hm.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:56 PM
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The Brock Landers we all know and love.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 6:58 PM
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no bowl?

Everyone knows you can hollow out an apple or a potato if you have some foil. Even a pop can will do in a pinch.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:06 PM
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The real tragedy is that the rest of Brock's family is sitting in a fully furnished kitchen 957 miles away, wondering where their egg is.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:09 PM
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You know, I've seen clips of the Coneheads here and there, and to me it seems just painfully unfunny. Change the context, though...


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:10 PM
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162: True! Clearly Brock should boil water, in the microwave, in a potato he's hollowed out with his plastic spoon, and in which he can thus cook his egg. I suggest putting the potato on the paper plate first.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:11 PM
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161: I give up trying to find the Brock bathroom fist-pump "Yes!" gesture story. But it's there. Somewhere in the archives. For the output side of this tale.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:14 PM
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LIFO organization makes for both concurrent and lasting relationships.

FCFS and FIFO are related, but not identical concepts. You can in fact have concurrent relationships under FCFS, if you stipulate multiple service points and variable processing times. IYKWIMAITYD.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:15 PM
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166: I also looked. I think it's lost in the hoohole and the binghole.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:16 PM
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166, 168: I won't try the search myself afresh, but did you try "mirror"? The fistpump was done in front of a mirror, I thought.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:21 PM
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FCFS and FIFO are related, but not identical concepts. You can in fact have concurrent relationships under FCFS,

Well, so could you while still thinking of things as FIFO, it just depends on what you take "out" and "served" to be. Just because the request queue is FIFO, that doesn't mean that there can't be concurrency in handling the request once they're popped from the queue. Indeed, if you want to have "variable processing times", "first served" can only refer to the beginning of the processing, as it would with a request queue, because otherwise the possibility that a later request would be handled to completion while an earlier one is still active would violate the constraint.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:27 PM
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170: I'm only going to continue this discussion if it's still making Megan hot. And I suspect it isn't.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:30 PM
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Talking about handling to completion makes you uncomfortable, doesn't it?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:33 PM
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If you have a ruprechtion that lasts for more than six hours, consult with your physician about which treatment's best for you.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:36 PM
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Not finding the fist pump, but in looking for it stumbled upon this classic that can serve in its stead: I ate it all. Anyway, that was a bad idea. And now to this day I've got sort of an aversion to cottage cheese, even the fresh stuff. (Actually, it didn't have a terribly bad effect on me. But I fed quite a bit to my toddler, too, and it made him pretty sick.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:41 PM
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Well, now I'm thinking about finding a place to watch the Kings game. But if you were going to make fun of pre-sorters again, I'd be interested.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:43 PM
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Our new apartment has an equally new dishwasher, and the silverware compartment has a one-utensil-per-slot design. The manual states that you should avoid placing identical utensils adjacent to each other to prevent nesting, and that knives should be loaded blade down, while all other utensils should be handle down. I have now taken to loading every other slot in a checkerboard pattern, because even unlike utensils can prevent each other from getting clean if they are too close together.

Also, our bowls have to be two spaces apart in the upper rack or they nest too much and won't get clean.

Its greatest flaw, though, is that the detergent dispenser is placed in the door in such a way that the upper rack prevents its cover from popping open completely. This means that the detergent in the compartment is never hit with a direct stream of water, and tends to clump up and harden within the dispenser itself. You can almost work around this problem if you leave the nearest corner of the bottom rack empty, but for capacity reasons this is problematic.

I do not recommend this dishwasher at all. It's a GE Profile. Avoid.


Posted by: fedward | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:45 PM
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Brock, are you in a climate where you'd actually need the snow shovel?


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:47 PM
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But if you were going to make fun of pre-sorters again, I'd be interested.

You underestimate one advantage of pre-sorting. While late-sorting is more efficient, pre-sorting means that there are fewer people who can potentially annoy me with their behavior in the queue.

Additionally, pre-sorting means that more people can be at end of a queue rather than being in the middle of one, minimizing, on average, the number of people who will intrude upon one's personal space.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:50 PM
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Only one person can be at the end of a queue, Nick.

What are you talking about sorting, anyway? Not silverware?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:52 PM
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If there were a dishwasher in my house, some everyday household tensions might be relieved. My housemate might become more aware of the extreme number of spoons and plates he dirties daily, for example, since it would become a new requirement that one put one's dirty dishes in the dishwasher immediately. Then he might notice how ridiculous it is that he stirs his coffee with a new spoon for each and every cup of coffee he has in the morning.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:52 PM
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179: I got Nick's mix CD today and it was sorted nicely.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:53 PM
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If you can make such requirements and have them obeyed, why not require that he use the same spoon for each cup?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:54 PM
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if you were going to make fun of pre-sorters again, I'd be interested

Instead of that, let me see if I can cleave the commentariat along a different fault line.

Pre-rinsing dishes before they go in the dishwasher: yes or no?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:57 PM
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BF's mother has very fixed ideas on this. Even though the newer dishwashers and detergents are supposed to work okay without a super-thorough rinsing, some plumber type told her that not doing so would wear out the machine faster.

Also, her husband is fanatical about properly loading the dishwasher.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 7:59 PM
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182: The dishwasher is a fantasy. Were such a radical change to occur, an opportunity for proposing new rules would present itself. As it stands, any sort of request regarding changes in kitchen behavior is viewed as the most horrible of criticisms, no matter how mildly it's actually been made. I'm not sure why.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:02 PM
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183: NO NO NO. Or rather, unless there is some exceptionally amazing caked-on horror, no. I have a friend who (along with his family) essentially completely hand-washes dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. This enrages me.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:03 PM
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174: I remembered that also. I was there before I expanded my pseud.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:06 PM
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The "is it clean or dirty" quandary is particularly acute in the Ruprecht household because Fleur (like her mother) insists on not only rinsing the dishes, but actually swabbing them with a sponge or scouring pad before they go into the dishwasher.

I tease her that she treats the dishwasher like the Festrunk brothers' vacuum cleaner.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:10 PM
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Pre-rinsing dishes before they go in the dishwasher: yes or no?

Yes, because I've never had a dishwasher that worked without doing so, although I'm told they exist. My sister claims that you can put a pizza in a box in a modern dishwasher, run it, and find it pristine and empty. I am skeptical.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:12 PM
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Brock, are you in a climate where you'd actually need the snow shovel?

Boston. It's relatively snowy. And I have a car to dig out, and a sidewalk that it's my responsibility to clear. Which would all be relatively difficult if I only had my plastic spoon.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:16 PM
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We've got a modern dishwasher, but I wouldn't try a pizza box. And since one of us happens to care about the quality of water, we've switched to the phosphate-free stuff. It seems to clean about as well, except that it leaves a whitish film on plastic.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:16 PM
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I confess I'm a swab the dishes lightly with a sponge before putting in the dishwasher type. Back when I had a dishwasher, that is. Surely significant blobs of gunk should be rinsed off before the dishes go in.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:16 PM
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Oh, so your family moved ahead of you. I thought that perhaps it was the other way around. Yes, it's quite snowy now.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:21 PM
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And to clarify some confusion from upthread: I never imagined that I'd survive three weeks on a solitary egg. I was just interested in eating the egg rather than throwing it out, since it's a perfectly good egg (through Monday), but not so interested as to invest in a new skillet or pan for that purpose. So I was wondering if there was a way to eat the thing with the instruments at my disposal. 105 sounds like it may well work--I'll certainly give it a try in the morning.

I actually have several onions too, but I can't imagine I'm likely to make good use of those. (Unfortunately.)


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:22 PM
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Only lived three places with dishwashers. None have worked sufficiently well to clean off any dish older than a day past eating (washed about every two days).


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:27 PM
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194.last: You could use the snow shovel to cut them up.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:28 PM
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Can't you get a cheap frying pan at the supermarket? Then you could have an omelet or scrambled eggs, and buy a potato and make fried potato and onions.

On another note, winter squash in a cream sauce (for pasta): yea or nay?


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:29 PM
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166: : I give up trying to find the Brock bathroom fist-pump "Yes!" gesture story. But it's there. Somewhere in the archives.

Bing FTW.

Like, whenever I walk into the bathroom at work intending to shit, I'll check to confirm that my choice stall is open, and if it is I'll always turn to the mirror and give myself an exaggerated fist-pump. (Usually with a bit of a knee-kick as well.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:29 PM
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Then bring the cut up onions to the bar and ask them to grill them up and throw them on your burger.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:29 PM
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Or just bring the intact onions and ask them to cut them up.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:34 PM
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winter squash in a cream sauce (for pasta): yea or nay?

Only if it's a fairly thin cream sauce. The squash, assuming it's mashed rather than cubed, will starch up and thicken the sauce big time, so on pasta you're looking at a very heavy starchy gloppy thing.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:37 PM
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How well would it work if it's thinly cubed?


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:39 PM
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Can't you get a cheap frying pan at the supermarket?

I'm sure I could, but not one I'd want to keep long-term, and even a cheap frying pan seems a high price to pay to eat one lone egg. (And more generally: I hate to buy something like that just to use for a few weeks. It seems wasteful (not so much in dollars but in an environment sense).)

194: the snow shovel has a plastic edge, not metal, so I don't actually think that would work well. But it's a thought.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:40 PM
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198: I keep forgetting there are search engines not named google.

Bing turned up my long-ago queueing theory comment on the first try.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:41 PM
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202: I guess you could do it. I wouldn't myself because I don't favor starch on starch. Also depends on what kind of cream sauce -- is this just a white sauce, a bechamel, that you want to flavor, in this case with squash?

I'd really at least cut it with some other textures. Chopped onions? I'm not sure why you want to do this.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:44 PM
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On the dishwasher issue: I not only rinse, but I usually wash the dishes with soap before putting them in the dishwasher. This is irrational, I'll grant. It probably comes from having too many dishwashers in the past that were, in fact, the dishwashing equivalent of the Festrunk brothers' vacuum cleaner. But still: I don't really trust the machines, and if I wash them myself first then at least I'll know they're clean. (And if you're wondering why I don't just put them away, instead of in the dishwasher: I have no idea. Habit, maybe. Also, that would involve drying them, which I don't really care to do.)


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:46 PM
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I have some squash I want to use up, and the idea came into my head. I guess I can always slice and bake it, with some olive oil, onions, and ginger.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:49 PM
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207: Up to you. If it were me, I'd keep the squash and the pasta-with-cream-sauce as separate endeavors. The squash cream sauce wouldn't be horrid, probably, but at the very least you wouldn't want to use the whole squash in it anyway.

Depending on what kind of squash it is, you can make creamy squash soup (separate from the pasta)!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:59 PM
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I'm not sure why you want to do this.
In addition to 207.1, I'm relatively new to cooking and like to experiment.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 8:59 PM
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Depending on what kind of squash it is
I think I'm going to go with the slice-and-roast plan, but I was wondering if you could tell the variety from a description: cylindrical, yellow with orange stripes, flesh roughly the same color as butternut squash.

(separate from the pasta)!
Why must you dash my dreams of squash noodle soup?


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:05 PM
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I only run the dishwasher once every three days on average, since I don't go through that many living alone. Leaving dishes out in the sink or in the dishwasher for three days with bits of food stuck to them seems unsanitary to me. So I too end up cleaning most everything with a brush and soap, and then later running it through the dishwasher. Sometimes I worry this is wasteful.


Posted by: m/ke | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:08 PM
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Only one person can be at the end of a queue, Nick.

I was thinking that both the first and last people in a queue are at an end. But, you are still correct to object, because the number of people who are at the front of the queue (being processed) will be the same in either scenario.

179: I got Nick's mix CD today and it was sorted nicely.

Yay! It was a bit of a pain to sequence, actually.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:14 PM
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NO NO NO.

Seconded. "You're a dishwasher," I think to my dishwasher, "so how about you wash the fucking dishes?" I'm sure this has nothing to do with my mother's requirement that the dishes be completely clean before going into the dishwasher we had when I was growing up.

Moby, you could make ravioli or some similar stuffed-pasta deal with a squash filling, you know.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:16 PM
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210: cylindrical, yellow with orange stripes, flesh roughly the same color as butternut squash.

I'm drawing a blank. Not acorn, not butternut, not, um, spaghetti squash. I may be a squash dilettante.

Please don't make squash noodle soup.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:20 PM
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I listened to (NickS's? It came from here right?) "Classic Psych" mix CD for the first time today and was amazed. Especially the I just never knew that sort of thing was out there at that time. Espicially the Bohemian Vendetta, Tea Company, Chrysalis and Bit 'A Sweet songs. Can you make or recommend several other compilations like that?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:21 PM
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Oh wait, that wasn't Moby, it was TOP. But Moby could still do as I suggested. In fact, all of you could.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:23 PM
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you could make ravioli
I'd definitely like to do that some time, but I'm not feeling that ambitious right now.

Please don't make squash noodle soup.
Never fear, I only said that in response to your, ahem, slightly unnecessary admonition in your 208.last .


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:26 PM
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217. last: Hey, you're the one who wants to put creamed squash on pasta.

But no, I'm kidding anyway: the prospect of squash noodle soup just made me laugh.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:42 PM
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216: I'm not a big squash fan. I may do onion soup tomorrow. Or roast a couple of chickens.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:45 PM
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I listened to (NickS's? It came from here right?) "Classic Psych" mix CD

It wasn't me (and I don't have much of that style of music), but I think there was something like that posted here, which looked very well done.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:48 PM
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Your squash sounds like delicata to me, though the colors might be a little off, The Other Paul. You can do a comparison of popular varieties of squash here.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:56 PM
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Also, the idea of squash noodle soup is intriguing to me. Like an inside out squash ravioli. Possibly disgusting, though.

I have seen recipes for pasta that involve roasted cubes of squash, minus the cream sauce (and generally greens and something crunchy - fried bread crumbs, nuts, bacon).


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 9:58 PM
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Upon further inspection and searching, I believe every single song in the mix is from one of the albums posted on this blog, though I can't find the mix itself anywhere.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:02 PM
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no to prewashing


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:02 PM
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Delicata! The name wasn't coming along with the mental picture Other Paul provided, and somehow I thought the flesh wasn't very creamy -- more stringy -- when I've had it, but I haven't had a lot of it.

Nice site, Parenthetical.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 2-10 10:03 PM
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Finishing off the hot and sour soup Bave just brought me, I believe I have just ingested some chicken. Keep the ambulances ready. If not, I shall give up vegetarianism.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:01 AM
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That is, I am not whining about it, but quite proud of myself that I was able to do so. If it was fake chicken, I would be disappointed in my resolve to chew and swallow. 15 years and all I get is a sensitivity to fake chicken? Fuck that!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:03 AM
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In review, I'm fairly sure that was real chicken, but it definitely was disgusting, which is a feeling I don't get from fake chicken, and I don't want more of it. And yet, if I have a "resolution" for 2010, it's to stop being such a shitty vegetarian houseguest and I think I shall manage it. We'll see.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:11 AM
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Nevermind.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:21 AM
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The Other Paul, ignore parsimon. You can make a great pasta sauce using squash and cream. Roast the squash, scoop out flesh, broth to thin it a bit, blender, cream, blender, add some salt and paprika and prosciutto and basil, yum.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:22 AM
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Confidential to nosflow: Jones has a reason for staying with Partridge, though it's stupid. Stay with it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:26 AM
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Confidential to AWB, now that they're in London he's proving slightly more valuable, I guess, though Jones' reason for sticking with him is still unclear to me. It would probably be unwise for me to stay up tonight to finish (ca. 150 pages left), wouldn't it?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:33 AM
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Never unwise. The end, unlike that of most 18th-c novels, is great.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:36 AM
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Haven't you got long past Jones deciding that Partridge is his father? He believes that.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:38 AM
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But then what would I do tomorrow? Though the torment torment me, I will wait.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:38 AM
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I am glad it torments you, and that it is the same copy of the same book that is tormenting you. How awesome is Tom the London Whore though? I love that man.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:40 AM
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I do not recall that being laid out explicitly.

I am very often most horribly given to jumping, I confess.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:42 AM
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Tom the London Whore is miraculous. He must have been the most attractive man ever to bestride England. Are we to understand that he won an offer of marriage from Ms Hunt on the basis of no interactions deemed worthy of being recorded, after only a few weeks of boarding-house interaction?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:44 AM
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She has bad breath, but he attends upon her. But his life hangs in the balance! I forget who it was who said (maybe Coleridge? who is a douche) that the three great plots are Oedipus Rex, The Alchemist, and Tom Jones.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:46 AM
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Lady Bellaston, silly.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:49 AM
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In that he is a whore to Bellaston, of course.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:53 AM
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"To survive I have only a sleeping bag, a suitcase full of clothes, some basic toiletries, a laptop (with wifi!), and a snow shovel. And a microwave, and an egg that expires on Monday."

Don't some laptops get hot enough to fry an egg?

I put forks and knives business end-down so I won't stab myself removing, them, and spoons handle-down because they seem to take up less room in the basket that way.

I let the dog lick anything that seems to need pre-washing.


Posted by: Shamhat | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:18 AM
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I'm not sure why, but the themes of this thread, culminating in the Tom Jones reference, made me realize that I've actually come to love you people (or at your online shades). What a group.

My greatest hope for 2010 is that McManus will replace Robert Osborne as a host on TCM.

So, happy late new year to all, and to all a good night.


Posted by: robert halford | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:34 AM
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Thread (X)XXLIII, Comments 231-241: A Blog Exchange Which We Hope Will Be Very Attentively Perused by Young People of Both Sexes


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 6:46 AM
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Aw, I'm sorry to have ruined the flow. I'm just slow.


Posted by: Shamhat | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:04 AM
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Fleur's hoity-toity French cousins let the dog lick the dishes before the dishes go in the dish washer. They do it secretly, and with shame. When we observed the dog licking the dishes, the hostess unconvincingly feigned outrage and scolded the dog. Poor dog. You could tell he was thinking, "Why did she scold me? I'm *allowed* to lick the plates!"


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:31 AM
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It's a GE Profile. Avoid.

I had one of these in my last apartment! I would load the weird utensil basket in exactly the way you describe. I didn't realize that I had such a particular method for it until I noticed myself getting tense one day when Sifu did it differently.

An annoying dishwasher indeed. But we've got no dishwasher now, and I miss it. Doing the dishes by hand is annoying, but more than that, I'd like to be able to reclaim the counter space taken up by our drying rack. It's a wooden one that folds up, but we're never far enough ahead in the dirtying and washing and drying cycle to be able to put it away.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:06 AM
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Where is Brock moving? Loudon, TN?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:33 AM
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There are people who *put away* their drying racks?

Seriously, Blume, I really doubt anyone manages to do that.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:59 AM
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We've done it, I think, twice!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:02 AM
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After this long a period of marriage?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:10 AM
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In that he is a whore to Bellaston, of course.

I know that, but those same charms, which operated on her, must surely have been operative on the other as well, oder? And if it were merely Bellaston he would hardly merit the title "London Whore".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:11 AM
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The thread has moved on, but: the egg has now been eaten. The method described in 105 worked well enough, although I don't think it's anything I'd ever recommend to anyone who had a frying pan at his or her disposal.

The plastic cup was an unfortunate casualty. Not microwave-safe, apparently.

Also, I discovered that additional food had been hidden in the freezer. I hadn't thought to check there. So I've got a reasonable supply of microwave-ready meals. Which is nice.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:20 AM
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A little late, but for the record: we have now had 2 modern dishwashers (Kenmore Elite and Kitchenaid Whatever), and neither one required the slightest bit of pre-rinsing. It is true that, if we have especially crusty dishes that don't fill it up, we'll run the 10 minute quick-rinse to ease things for the next go-round. But dishes less than 24 hours old, with absolutely anything encrusted, get perfectly clean without pre-rinsing.

I say the following only because I know that Fleur will never read it: Fleur and her family are insane on this topic.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:22 AM
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Also, I discovered that additional food had been hidden in the freezer. I hadn't thought to check there. So I've got a reasonable supply of microwave-ready meals. Which is nice.

Are you ill and alone?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:23 AM
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Surely significant blobs of gunk should be rinsed off before the dishes go in.

Nope. In fact, the dishwasher has a built-in dispose-all grinder for large chunks of food.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:25 AM
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253: so if I'm following, you put the egg in the plastic cup, you put the cup in the microwave, the cup melted in the microwave, you took out the egg-plastic mixture, and then you ate it?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:26 AM
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251: your intentional misreading of my comment nonwithstanding, Blume and I are having vigorous intercourse as I type this comment.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:26 AM
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Could Brock start a blog called "What I Eat"?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:27 AM
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I still want to know when (and why) he's moving to Loudon.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:28 AM
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255: it's fucking snowy outside, and I don't have any boots, so I'm venturing out as little as possible, at least for now.

257: I admit I was worried about that. But I don't think the cup actually melted into liquid. It just became brown and squatty and deformed. The egg inside seemed okay.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:30 AM
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it's fucking snowy outside, and I don't have any boots,

Because you ate them?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:32 AM
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My god, Brock.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:45 AM
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Brock's willingness to eat all kinds of poison is a neverending source of delight!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:50 AM
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Monday came one day too late.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:51 AM
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248: You are somewhat close (if I recall correctly)--both in town/city name and geographical location. Or tell it to Standpipe?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:51 AM
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230: Roast the squash, scoop out flesh, broth to thin it a bit, blender, cream, blender, add some salt and paprika and prosciutto and basil, yum.

That sounds lovely!

In all honesty, since I don't care much for pasta, I was cavalier about the object of Other Paul's desire. Apologies, Other Paul.

I'm only writing all this in order to turn my attention from Brock's state of affairs.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:52 AM
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Monday came one day too late.

You're manic today and yesterday was your fun day?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:54 AM
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I tell the tale that I heard told.
Mr Landers, he died old.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:54 AM
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248: You are somewhat close (if I recall correctly)--both in town/city name and geographical location.

Where "somewhat close in geographical location" means off by ~250 miles.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:56 AM
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So I've got a reasonable supply of microwave-ready meals. Which is nice.

Please provide details.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:57 AM
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271: He means that he has a whole cupboard of plasticware.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:58 AM
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270: In terms of Unfogged geography it's close (5 Kentuck miles = 1 Manhattan long block).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:00 AM
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Also, I discovered that additional food had been hidden in the freezer. I hadn't thought to check there. So I've got a reasonable supply of microwave-ready meals. Which is nice.

Moldy bread?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:00 AM
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Though I suspect I'm missing the point of the Loudon joke as well.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:00 AM
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I just want to reiterate that my delight in Brock's approach to food safety is real, lest he stop telling us about it!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:01 AM
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266: yeah, I'd assumed that was a message for Standpipe. 262 as well.

(If you're genuinely curious, Sifu, it's not a secret.)

263/264: really, I think the egg was fine. I didn't taste any molten plastic.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:01 AM
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Gah. This is a classic "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario. If I'd thrown out the egg in the melty cup, you'd all be taunting me for being cowardly and wasteful.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:05 AM
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Brock, you hereby have my permission to order in as much Chinese food and pizza as you need.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:07 AM
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Cuz' only the molten stuff is bad for you.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:07 AM
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I am not sure that the best course of action can always be deduced by asking "what would the Mineshaft make fun of?"


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:09 AM
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If I'd thrown out the egg in the melty cup, you'd all be taunting me for being cowardly and wasteful.

I would be. But I'd be doing it to goad you into eating ever more outrageous inedibles.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:10 AM
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So, Brock, what's for lunch?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:13 AM
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271: really? I'm not standing in front of the freezer right now, but there was a pack of veggie burgers (although I ate those this morning), a few frozen burritos, some sort of bean thing, some frozen breast milk and maybe some other baby food. I'd have to go look again to give you a better inventory than that. But I'm not sure I understand why you want to know.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:14 AM
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284:Isn't breast milk one of those things that would have been better taken with the children than left with you?


Posted by: CXrypic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:15 AM
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I bet you could turn the breast milk and baby food into a nice cream sauce.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:16 AM
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It seems cruel not to leave you a pot to heat that breast milk in.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:18 AM
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287: And the plastic cup already used up!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:19 AM
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If we're lucky, there's more where that one came from.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:21 AM
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I do, in fact, have more plastic cups. But I'm not planning to drink the breast milk. I think it's all past its expiration date anyway.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:23 AM
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I think we need even more details in order to turn Brock's two weeks alone into a text-based adventure game.

"In your inventory you have BURRITOS, A BEAN THING, and BREAST MILK. In front of you is the MICROWAVE. To the south is a DOOR. What do you do?"

> Use BEAN THING.

"You do not know how to use that item."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:26 AM
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But I'm not planning to drink the breast milk.

Cowardly and wasteful!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:27 AM
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"There is a MOUSE in the corner"

> Throw BREAST MILK at MOUSE

"You have a DEAD MOUSE"


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:35 AM
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It just became brown and squatty and deformed.

Maybe it had turned into gorgonzola.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:38 AM
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I really don't know where Brock is moving. I just picked a town approximately 957 miles from where he is now.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:41 AM
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Okay, figured it out. Why are you moving there?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:43 AM
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295: Where Brock is moving.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:44 AM
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> Use BEAN THING.

"You do not know how to use that item."

This made me laugh.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:47 AM
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Sifu, if you've got a circle drawn on a map with a radius of 957 and centered on Boston, look for a town on your circle about 250 units NW of Loudon.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:49 AM
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I totally read the archives.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:49 AM
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Is a bean thing like a turnip thingie?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:51 AM
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Hm--299 may have come a bit late. Some day I'll learn to preview.

Why are you moving there?

Well, why not? It's a nice town. We were looking at N/a/s/h/v/i/l/l/e for a while, but there weren't many jobs there, in the current job market.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:54 AM
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Yes, but Boston is snowy and full of grumpy people.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:57 AM
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Yes, Brock, I should have noted that I don't find the method in 105 to be very tasty. But for some reason my sister would only eat microwaved eggs when she was a toddler, so I became well acquainted with the process. None of that gross good tasting egg - only the nuked stuff for her!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:30 AM
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230: Thanks, but I think I'll do slice-and-roast this time around.

The prospect of squash noodle soup just made me laugh.
I thought it was pretty funny too. It just seems like a hilariously bad idea.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:32 AM
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267: Don't worry about it. It was just an idle thought, and I think it would've ended up being kind of bland.


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:39 AM
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Spurn me, will you?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:43 AM
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It's ok, nosflow, I'm in the same boat. I've been on tenterhooks, waiting to find out if the squash is indeed a delicata!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:48 AM
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I do indeed spurn you, at least this time around.

It is indeed a delicata. Thanks!


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:52 AM
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Chunks of butternut squash are roasting in my oven right this very minute. RIGHT THIS MINUTE!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:53 AM
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What are you going to do with them once they're roasted?


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:58 AM
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My kitchen is full of oxtail.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 12:04 PM
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And your hovercraft is full of eels?


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 12:06 PM
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I'll probably have some in a gratin and some with a white bean stew.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 12:16 PM
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That'll barely put a dent in the number in the hovercraft.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 12:18 PM
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I have not read this thread and I'm sure a billion people (est.) have said this, but I feel absolutely compelled to say no! Spoons spoon. Forks do too, sometimes. A partial solution, besides the obvious one (and which is more successful with forks), is to get all your flatware from Goodwill so pieces are of varying size, shape, and curvature. Also, cheap!

Anyhoo, the reason I actually came to Unfogged at the moment was to complain that Word has no symbol for 1/3. WTF?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 12:35 PM
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314: But what about the noodle soup?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 12:42 PM
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I had some thoroughly delicious butternet squash soup recently that had ginger in it. When I get the recipe from my sister, I'll put it online if anybody's interested.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:16 PM
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Butternut, even.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:17 PM
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Mmmm, the butternet.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:20 PM
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I used to make a butternet soup with ginger and jalapeno. Very pleasant.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:23 PM
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I am against the jalapeño in all its forms. Just for me, though. Because ow, my tongue!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:25 PM
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I am even now typing up a delicious French lentil recipe that both uses French lentils and comes from an actual French restaurant. In France.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:27 PM
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I am excited about both of these recipes, Sir Kraab. Particularly because I have a butternut sitting in my kitchen that I'm just not that into at the moment and need some inspiration to cook.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:29 PM
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If you like roast potatoes you could slice the squash and roast them together, along with some onions (and olive oil, rosemary etc).


Posted by: the Other Paul | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:36 PM
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Yeah, I think I am maxed out on roasted squash right now, which is the problem!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:49 PM
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291 wins the thread. I've been chuckling away at this thread whilst reading bits out to C, and he is totally unimpressed. I hope I can annoy him for Brock survival stories for a long time.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:50 PM
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324: Upon investigation, I find that what I believe is the correct (Martha Stewart) soup recipe to be already online. Haven't heard back from my sister to verify.

I find Martha Stewart's recipe-writing style quite annoying, but she does have some good ones.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:52 PM
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-that


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:54 PM
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Is it the kind of French lentil soup that's pureed and served with a dollop of creme fraiche? Or, could that be any French lentil soup? I would like the recipe too.

Also, I'd like to suggest that it's unreasonable to assume that human milk is gross or tastes bad. Honestly, why wouldn't it be delicious? Plus, it comes in attractive packaging.


Posted by: Shamhat | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 1:54 PM
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I am against the jalapeño in all its forms.

I am filled with pity.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:01 PM
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330.1: It is not, in fact, soup, though it does include crème fraîche. It's just lentils mixed up with some other stuff. The original recipe calls for cervalas (brain sausage); I use cremini mushrooms. My dad had it in France and liked it so much he got the recipe from the restaurant.

I actually don't know when I'll get the whole recipe up because I have to check on a bunch of things that aren't written down and I'm an actual-follow-the-recipe kind of cook, but for those of you who don't share that disability, the ingredients are:

About 2 c. cremini mushrooms (or 500 grams of brain sausage)
1 c. green lentils (200 grams)
¾ c. + 1 T. dry white wine (200 ML)
2 T. white wine vinegar
¾ c. + 1 T. crème fraîche (200 ML)
1 T. butter (15 grams)
2 shallots
1 clove garlic
salt and pepper

On the mushrooms, I recommend sauting until quite brown to give some nice contrast to the other flavors.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:03 PM
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+ly, dammit


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:04 PM
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Honestly, why wouldn't it be delicious?

Because baby tastes aren't much like grown-up tastes!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:11 PM
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"!," I say. "!."


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:12 PM
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Because baby tastes aren't much like grown-up tastes!

But we like other mammal milk, all of which is intended for babies.

Although, if 330.2 was aimed in my general direction, it's been sitting in the freezer for over a year, and would need to be thawed in the microwave. I ca't imagine any milk being delicious under those circumstances.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:15 PM
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we like other mammal milk

Speak for yourself.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:18 PM
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Hey, Brock, you'll be in my state, even though one rule of pseudonyms is that I'm not supposed to talk about my state. You'll be in a decent town. My littlest bro is in engineering school there.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:36 PM
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You'll be in a decent town.

Nice enough to have food? That you can buy? On the weekends?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:38 PM
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MEEEEETUP!


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:40 PM
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Regulators?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:45 PM
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Heebie, I wouldn't go THAT far, but I gather he could buy at least another egg. Maybe.

And I'd totally meet up! Here I've been saying for forever that there'd never be one near me. 1.5 hours isn't far.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:45 PM
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Though much as I enjoy blue cheese, maybe I'm NOT up to dining with Brock.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:46 PM
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Honestly, why wouldn't it be delicious?

Fresh, it tastes like watered down, slightly sweet milk.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:46 PM
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Don't believe 340. It's a trick.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:46 PM
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Sifu, there's just been unfortunate timing with the meetups you've suggested in the past. I'm in town through the 15th--pick a time and place and I'll be there.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:57 PM
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"!," I say. "!."

Rather, you say "!".

I am shocked at this revelation that you do not like milk.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 2:58 PM
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346: Just make sure first that the place has raw eggs, paper plates, and a microwave. Brock has standards, you know.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:14 PM
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345 to 344.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:36 PM
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Word has no symbol for 1/3.

Try this: ⅓


Posted by: Gareth Rees | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:36 PM
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I like all manner of dairy products, but milk alone as a beverage is vile.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:37 PM
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Nonsense. I drink 2 gallons a week, on a good week. Mmmmm lactose.


Posted by: Cecily | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:42 PM
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I'm not generally a milk-drinker (although I don't find it vile), but when I was training hard for a meet, I craved large glasses of milk. It was interesting to have my body change my tastes like that.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:44 PM
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I was instructed to drink a glass of milk per dinner for the bulk of my childhood, with the idea being that such a practice would help me build strong bones. Never did like that slightly viscous, milky liquid, but I swallowed it nightly like the good boy that I was. Now I can't remember when I last drank a glass of milk straight. Has it really been years?

But hey, I've never broken a bone, so that's something.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:46 PM
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But hey, I've never broken a bone, so that's something.

Neither have I!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 3:55 PM
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I've broken both arms, both big toes and a thumb. I really am clumsy underneath all the training for physical coordination.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 4:08 PM
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I'm amazingly clumsy but between a sturdy Midwestern frame, a healthy appetite for calcium-loaded food products, and deep respect for my amazing clumsiness (thus keeping me from doing things like skiing), I've never broken a bone either. (There's some dispute about whether or not my finger was broken after shutting it in a garage door when I was child, but I never went to the doctor for it so I think it doesn't count.) My father, also amazingly clumsy, lacks the third trait, which led to him having to crawl his way down a mountain (I exaggerate for effect, I think he only had to make his way alone for a 1/4 mile, but still!) after falling and fracturing his pelvis. I resolve to manage my clumsiness!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 4:18 PM
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This thread is reminding me that, as a child, I really wanted to have broken a bone. Like, I wanted the bragging rights. In fact, I used to boast that I had broken my nose, even though I hadn't really; it just got clobbered something good one time by one of those metal playground swings—the kind that's like a cage and has handles and you sit inside and pump the handles to make it go. (What are those called? I can't find a photo at all.)

Anyway, that was an odd thing to have wanted.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 4:45 PM
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I shared the want, Stanley! That's why there was always disagreement about my finger - I wanted to claim I had broken it, but my mother insisted that I had not. (I say, it's still crooked, that must mean something.)

I also wanted glasses. I faked not being able to see properly, and then it turned out when I went for my eye exam I really couldn't see, after all. I don't know what I was thinking. Glasses in second grade are not cool.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:04 PM
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355: RFTS is just taunting the Milk Council.

This time of year - surrounded by Xmas cookies an red velvet cake and other indulgences - I drink tons of milk. If I'm going to a donut shop, I bring my own milk in a jar (better and cheaper and more enjoyable from glass). I adore good milk.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:05 PM
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I got cured of the glamor of broken bones after watching what happened to a classmate's face as another classmate came flying down the fire pole onto his shinbone. Do Not Want.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:09 PM
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Milk is gross. Eugh.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:13 PM
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This use of "butternut" to mean "butternut squash" is as off-base as the oft-lambasted use of "kiwi" to mean "kiwifruit". Which is to say, not really a problem. But "butternut" really means a sort of nut, guys!


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:15 PM
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What if somebody hit you in the face with a butternut squash right as you were laughing after taking a big drink of milk so that your nose broke -- and the squash disintegrated -- right as milk was shooting out your nostrils? This thread in a nutshell, right there.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:23 PM
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A butternutshell, even.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:24 PM
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Nutshell squash, that is.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:24 PM
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That dark brown chambered pith is hot.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:25 PM
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Squashes don't have shells. That would have to be a nutrind.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:30 PM
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I am fond of a Juglandaceae.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 5:31 PM
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Shorter tonight's Andy Rooney: I'm still really old and still inexplicably employed.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 6:01 PM
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Oh, man, the Brock v. Egg battle had me weeping. I now want to lock Brock in a room with a selection of organic but probably inedible things, randomly selected items from a hardware store including something flammable, and an internet connection, just to see what he'd eat.

(Don't worry. I'll restrain myself.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 6:46 PM
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So does no one know what kind of swings I'm talking about in 358? It's driving me mildly nutty.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 6:53 PM
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Drinking milk straight is gross because then I feel like I have milk breath, which feels gross.

Growing up, we drank powdered milk because my mom doesn't like milk, so she figured "Why waste money on something that tastes gross?" It turns out I like the real deal Holyfield much better in, say, cereal.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 6:53 PM
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370: Sometime back in the 80's, after NASA had announced that they would send a civilian up in the space shuttle, but before Reagan announced it would be a teacher (y'all will recall how well that worked out), Doonesbury did a series in which it was posited that Andy Rooney had been chosen as the first civilian to be put into orbit.

I'm too lazy to go looking for a link, but as I recall, one of the strips had a weightless Andy Rooney broadcasting from space, "Don't you just hate liquid meat?"


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 6:58 PM
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Growing up we had a man drive a truck to our house and put milk in a wooden box outside our back door.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:00 PM
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I've never treated milk as a beverage, because I grew up in a mostly-kosher house. It just seems weird to me to put milk in a glass and, like, drink it. Milk goes in cereal.

Of course, now that I have two toddlers, we're getting two gallons of whole milk delivered each week (which still isn't enough to keep those insatiable gullets satisfied) and it's so weird to watch them suck it down while pawing real (savory!) food into their mouths.

Milk is weird.

Also, today I made butternut squash gnocchi, which were delicious.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:09 PM
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Thank you for joining us for this week's episode, Brock Landers and the Egg of Doom. Don't forget to be with us again next week, same time, same station, for the next exciting installment, The Egg Strikes Back.

Have Education, Will Discourse
wire Unfogged Cyberspace


Posted by: Michael H Schneider | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:12 PM
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I grew up with milk at every meal. It doesn't bother me at all to drink it (well, skim milk is completely gross and anything below 2% is palatable but weird), but I almost never do any more, except at the bottom of bowls of cereal. The kids drink it all the time. Roberta drinks it in the middle of the night.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:23 PM
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I use milk instead of ramekins.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:25 PM
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Apo and I are from parallel worlds apparently. I will modify thus:

I grew up with milk at every meal. It doesn't bother me at all to drink it (well, skim milk is completely gross ideal and what I grew up on, and anything below 2% above 1% is totally unpalatable but and weird).

2% tastes like cream to me. I hate cream in my coffee. Give me watery milk, please. Thanks.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:29 PM
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Give me watery milk, please. Thanks.

Get Eekbeat pregnant.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:35 PM
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rfts may be more successful than me now, but I'm drinking milk, so, you know, watch it.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:38 PM
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381: Yeah, no.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:41 PM
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Ok, let me get her pregnant, then.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:41 PM
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I fear the lack of a period might kill you, nosflow. We can't.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:45 PM
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rfts may be more successful than me now, but I'm drinking milk, so, you know, watch it.

Not to make the same joke twice, but you're about to lose the milk race against rfts in a major way.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:48 PM
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If Stanley got nosflow pregnant that seems like it would solve things nicely.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:49 PM
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I hate cream in my coffee. Give me watery milk, please. Thanks.

It's like, how much more wrong could you be? And the answer is none. None more wrong.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:52 PM
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388: I have other subjective preferences that might push me into even wronger territory.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:54 PM
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I hate cream in my coffee. Give me watery milk, please.

Huh. I buy the gigantic cartons of Half and Half for coffee. We've never had one go bad.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:56 PM
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389: Go on...

(Personally, I can't stand drinking milk straight. I was lactose-intolerant growing up, so I never developed the taste. For the longest time I even thought milk in cereal was disgusting; I'd grown up eating it with Coffee Rich.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:58 PM
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How do you feel about sugar in your bowl, Stanley?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 7:58 PM
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How do you feel about sugar in your bowl, Stanley?

I used to love it; yum sugary milk sauce. As a hypoglycemic, nowadays it's a no-no.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:11 PM
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Stanley in 385 for the win!


Posted by: honigessig | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:12 PM
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What about eggs mixed with plastic?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:12 PM
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Ok, AB's stepmother is an annoyance under the best of circumstances, but I vent now to you good people because I hear the dishwasher running and I know goddamned well that it's no more than 2/3 full and we haven't even eaten dessert yet (holy shit, she just came downstairs with a dirty mug - gee, do you think you could have squeezed that onto the upper rack with its 10 glasses?). This is insane-making.

Why must our fathers take up with such inadequate women? (don't answer that)


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:19 PM
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I hate milk. I didn't even eat cereal for many years because I hated milk so much. Then I discovered that I could just use soy milk instead.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:21 PM
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So does no one know what kind of swings I'm talking about in 358?

We had something similar to what you describe in our backyard when I was little. I'm not sure it was exactly the same, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:22 PM
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Growing up we had a man drive a truck to our house and put milk in a wooden box outside our back door.

When my dad was little his parents bought a cow.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:23 PM
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Borjomi is really intensely gross.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:27 PM
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400: Why?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:32 PM
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Ok, I'm going to vent more, now OT: AB's father is named Wolfgang. He's German, and speaks with a thick accent. It's very obvious how to pronounce it. After 15 years (many spent in Holland and Germany) this woman still calls him wolf-gang like someone who's never heard it pronounced.

What is wrong with you!?!?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:33 PM
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401: It tastes exactly like semen, which, sure, fine, semen, but do you want to drink a liter of it? Slightly bubbly and cold? I bet you don't.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:35 PM
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Huh. That wasn't among the possible reasons I had imagined.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:37 PM
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More like salted spaghetti water or more like egg drop soup?

I hear the dishwasher running and I know goddamned well that it's no more than 2/3 full and we haven't even eaten dessert yet (holy shit, she just came downstairs with a dirty mug - gee, do you think you could have squeezed that onto the upper rack with its 10 glasses?). This is insane-making.

OH MY GOD SHE MIGHT HAVE TO RINSE IT OUT IN THE SINK!!!!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 8:39 PM
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405: No, she'll use like fucking 5 squirts of dishsoap to wash it out. I baked fish tonight on a sheet lined with parchment paper. So there's some grease and maybe a bit of sauce (not baked-on) around the edges. I hear PUMP-PUMP-PUMP-PUMP-PUMP because god knows grease won't come off a baking sheet without an ounce or two of dishsoap. Gah!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:06 PM
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PUMP-PUMP-PUMP-PUMP-PUMP

That wasn't dish soap.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:07 PM
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More like salted spaghetti water.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:22 PM
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PUMP-PUMP-PUMP-PUMP-PUMP


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:49 PM
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And that is where Borjomi comes from, kids.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:51 PM
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I dispute this claim. It just tasted like a typical undrinkably salty Eastern Bloc mineral water to me. And its protein content was negligible.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:53 PM
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358, 370: I know there are versions for older kids, but I think what you are talking about operates on the same principles as these two variants of "horsey" swings. The Flickr pool they are in might have the others and is kind of great just on its own merits.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 9:54 PM
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412: In fact I think we called them "pumper swings"--getting a facebook reference, but no pics (but may just be referring to regular swing that you "pumped" with your legs).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:01 PM
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Pumper swing.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:04 PM
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More of a pumpee swing, really.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:07 PM
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I think also called "push-pull" swings. Found some patents some references, but no good pics.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:09 PM
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Another variant. I recall swinging on something like these.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 10:40 PM
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418

This is the type I was talking about. Ours didn't have the horseheads, though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:23 PM
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291 induced in me the most sublime combination snicker-chortle.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01- 3-10 11:47 PM
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417: Those! That's what I meant! We used to climb up the front of them to get to the top of the swingset, which is how I ended up busting my nose on one. Ah, childhood.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 4-10 5:39 AM
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