Re: Baby names

1

Nothing at all. And don't worry, Notre Dame will rebuild and be back on top.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:03 PM
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2

*wince*


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:03 PM
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3

What's wrong with this page?

Do you want the complete list? It may take a while.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:10 PM
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4

Rhetorical questions are bourgeois.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:11 PM
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5

Someone's consulting with neb on baby names?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:13 PM
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6

Toby is exclusively a pet name?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:17 PM
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7

Wait. In #1, I saw 'Knute', not 'Kunte'.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:18 PM
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8

I saw dead people.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:20 PM
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9

Toby Keith ruined both "Toby" and "Keith". That's what's wrong. What a jerk.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:23 PM
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10
African-Americans who watched the miniseries Roots will also remember it as Kunte Kinte's slave name.
Non-African-Americans have blocked the memory because of discomfort with the whole idea of slave names. Or, alternatively, they don't remember because they don't give a shit.
Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:24 PM
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11

White-Americans who have seen the films of Pat O'Brien will also remember "Kunte" as legendary coack Kunte Rockne.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 1:32 PM
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12

Oprah married Wmffre.


Posted by: jim | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 3:26 PM
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13

9: Martin Amis ruined "Keith."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 3:38 PM
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14

Toby is exclusively a pet name?

It's true! My sister has a guinea pig named Toby.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 6:04 PM
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15

I (white) thought of kunta (tobey) kinte, because the scottish guy was the most interesting person in the story?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 6:16 PM
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16

Toby is a total pet name. I once hired a kid named Toby and had a really hard time separating my warm fuzzies about him as a candidate from the ones about my cat.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 8:29 PM
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17

Toby is a tram engine. If you want to make a do-it-yourself costume for a four year-old boy, I once saw someone who did a beautiful job with cardboard and paint.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 8:31 PM
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18

I have only ever known humans named Toby.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-10-10 8:32 PM
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19

Toby is not short for Tobias, it's English for Tobias.

Also, Wmffre is not a name but printer's pie.

Also, calling a helpless child Tobee ought not to be encouraged; it ought to be punishable by death.


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 01-11-10 1:42 AM
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20

What's wrong with this page?

I was going to guess something about its heteronormativity, but when I saw 10 I realized the page said that no non-African-Americans had seen Roots and/or would remember nothing about it. I like that problem better than mine. FWIW, I've only read a synopsis of Roots and probably wouldn't even remember that much about it if not for the fact that LeVar Burton was in it.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 01-11-10 6:57 AM
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21

My 8th grade American History teacher, who was sweet and pretty and liberal and earnest, cried when she showed us the whipping scene. Oh, Mrs. Yoast!


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-10 9:03 AM
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22

My god, she must be in her 50s. I'm reeling.

Of course, if I'm really objective about the situation, I'm in my late 30s.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-10 9:06 AM
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23

Toby is indeed a pet name. My grandmother kept twin pet turtles for us kids at her house, for her twelve grandchildren, named Toby and Moby. Both names are still names for pets, not for humans (for me, anyway).


Posted by: honigessig | Link to this comment | 01-11-10 10:30 PM
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24

I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female turtle, named Tor and Tuga, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-11-10 10:34 PM
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25

Whether or not making prescoolers vegetarian/vegan is cruel, it's not really a "baby name" question. It could be, if "preschoolers follow a vegetarian or vegan diet" was the proposed name. It's not capitalized, though, so that seems an unlikely explanation.


Posted by: Jimmy Pongo | Link to this comment | 01-11-10 10:54 PM
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26

You could call them Tory and Tuga, and then call them Torytuga for the collective.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 4:03 AM
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I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female flatbread, named Tor and Tilla, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 11:41 AM
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I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female bullfighter, named Tor and Eador, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 11:42 AM
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I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female lawyer, named Tor and Treform, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 11:47 AM
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30

I have long harbored a dream of keeping a female and male oaf, named Tor and Johnson, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 11:48 AM
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31

I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female funnel cloud, named Tor and Nado, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 11:48 AM
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32

My 8th grade American History teacher, who was sweet and pretty and liberal and earnest, cried when she showed us the whipping scene. Oh, Mrs. Yoast!

Heh. When I had to cover wind and ocean currents in an environmental science survey course, I choked up when I got to the Horse Latitudes, where sailors jettisoned horses and slavers jettisoned chained slaves to try to make it through the calmed winds. (Wikipedia says that might not be true. But I did get visibly teary as I taught. I am liberal and earnest.)


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 11:49 AM
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33

32: Actually what they jettisoned were couches. And it wasn't to lighten the ship's load, it was just for fun.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 11:55 AM
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I have long harbored a dream of keeping a sluggish land turtle and an apathetic small cetacean, named Tor and Por, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 11:59 AM
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35

Rock ON!


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:00 PM
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36

There was a fire in a building down the block from us the other day, and Buck saw firemen throw a flaming couch out of the building. I thought of you when he told me.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:02 PM
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37

I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female lemon balm, named Tor and Onjil, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:09 PM
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38

I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female turret, named Tor and Reta, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:10 PM
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39

(It's totes cheating that I've opened my Oxford Spanish Dictionary, right?)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:11 PM
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40

I have long harbored a dream of having twins who would grow up to be military interrogators, named Tor and Ture, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: John Yoo | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:16 PM
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I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female completely, named Tot and Es, respectively. Because, hey, totes adorable, right?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:19 PM
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42

I have realized my dream of having one sheet of paper, split into two pieces, named Tor and N, respectively. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:20 PM
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43

42: Showoff.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:23 PM
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44

I have long harbored a dream of keeping a male and female stiff neck, named Tor and Tícolis, respectively. Because, hey, ow, right?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:23 PM
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45

I have long harbored a dream of splitting up the word Torpedo into two pieces, named Tor and Pedo, respectively. Because, hey, splitty, right?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 12:27 PM
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46

I have long harbored a dream of creating two pseudonymous bloggers named Unf and Ogged. Because, hey, adorable, right?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:10 PM
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47

Someday, Bob will return, and lead us all to the promised land. There will be bahn mi for all.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:15 PM
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48

Speaking of names, Canada's second oldest magazine is changing its name:

When The Beaver started publication, the name evoked only Canada's thriving fur industry. Ninety years later, the fur trade has diminished and the magazine's name has become slang for female genitals. Readers complained that Internet filters were blocking emails and newsletters from The Beaver, Reid said. The society also had concerns about attracting readers.

"Market research showed us that younger Canadians and women were very very unlikely to ever buy a magazine called The Beaver no matter what it's about," said Reid, adding he has mixed feelings about the name change. "For whatever reasons, they are turned off by the name."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:32 PM
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49

Just as with "Santorum", it is clearly now our solemn duty to make "Canada's History" into some kind of sexual euphemism.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:35 PM
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50

I'm not googling for it for obvious reasons, but I once ate at a roadside restaurant called Betty Beaver's Truck Stop that did not appear to be a brothel.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:36 PM
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51

for obvious reasons

I.e., that's Apo's job.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:38 PM
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52

50: What did you eat there?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:39 PM
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53

The company has since been swallowed by some other company, but it did once exist.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:41 PM
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54

I recommend the fur burger.


Posted by: Betty | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:41 PM
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55

Didn't Beaver College also recently consider changing it's name?

It's silly, if you ask me. Slang changes. You can't expect your institution's name to be free from sexual euphemism for all time, unless you plan to regularly change its name. People are smart enough to realize this Beaver isn't named after that beaver.

I assume everyone is familiar with Big Bone Lick State Park? Now that's a name that's rich with euphemism.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:48 PM
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56

I assume everyone is familiar with Big Bone Lick State Park?

Only metaphorically.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:49 PM
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57

Also.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:51 PM
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58

Didn't Beaver College also recently consider changing it's name?

It did change it, to Arcadia University, in 2001.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:52 PM
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59

Further to 57: the chief rival of Oregon State University's Beavers are the U of O's Ducks. Ducks have the largest penises relative to body size in the animal kingdom. Coïncidence?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:54 PM
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60

My Dad's second wife specifically chose her obstetrician because the ob/gyn was named Dr. Beaver.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 1:58 PM
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61

My pediatrician when I was a kid was Dr. Kidd.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:06 PM
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62

I once ate at this place. The pie was pretty good.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:11 PM
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63

62: Hair pie?


Posted by: Betty | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:13 PM
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64

I forget what kind I ordered.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:14 PM
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65

I'm thinking you'd remember pretty good Hair Pie.


Posted by: Betty | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:17 PM
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66

55: Ideal meetup location! I'm just sayin'.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:17 PM
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67

It did change it, to Arcadia University, in 2001.

Huh. So it did. I'd have sworn that was more like 2007.



Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:20 PM
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Actually a Big Bone Lick/Creation Museum twofer would probably be even better. Those and Florence Y'all and you've done Boone County, KayWhy.

Or so I gather. I haven't gone to the Creation Museum myself, in part because one of the lead artists involved in the creation (ha, I crack myself up and that was even inadvertent!) of the tableaux there was my dearest friend in high school and I can't really bear the thought of seeing that stuff and thinking of all her beauty and promise.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:20 PM
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65: Hm, you have a point there.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:22 PM
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You can't expect your institution's name to be free from sexual euphemism for all time

Even so, I still think it was a good decision by the former Newcastle Polytechnic to reject the proposed name of Central University of Newcastle upon Tyne. (They actually printed the headed paper before they realised.)


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:22 PM
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I love the urbandictionary entry on hair pie: "Refers to the unshaven 80's style version of a females pubic area."

That was just a passing 80s fad? Who'd have guessed...


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:23 PM
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72

Maybe it was deepfried onion blossom pie.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:23 PM
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Market research showed us that younger Canadians and women were very very unlikely to ever buy a magazine called The Beaver no matter what it's about

It might have been for similar reasons that Australian Women's Weekly did not modify its name when it converted to a monthly publication schedule.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:23 PM
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74

In the 80's, pubic hair had bangs in the front, teased in the back. Don't you remember?


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:24 PM
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75

Nowadays it's just called a "non-Brazilian".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:25 PM
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76

I had an asymmetrical bob, myself.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:25 PM
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Thorn, we have to go the Creation Museum! Maybe we can do the Big Bone Lick thing if we have time, but the Creation Museum is a must--I've never been.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:26 PM
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70: All Comp Lit classes at the U of MN were abbreviated "CLit" until just a few years ago.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:27 PM
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Big Bone Lick is as good as any big park for kids in the summer -- mastodons a bonus you can't find in NYC, apparently!! -- but sure, I'm up for a Creation Museum trip in the company of others who can help me survive it.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:28 PM
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80

Which is almost enough of a segue. I skipped a haircut (on my head, thankyou) and I suspect that the shaggy, grown-out version I have now would feather spectacularly well. I'm trying to think of an occasion for wearing fullblown Farah Fawcett-like feathering. And also thinking that I don't own a round brush or a hairdryer, so it might all be a hopeless dream.

There are surprisingly few videos on YouTube for how to feather one's hair. The ones that are posted are all women of color (black, Asian, middle-eastern (to my eye)). Not sure what is going on there.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:29 PM
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78: The HR bureacrats at my former German employer used to habitually abbreviate the titles "analyst" and "associate" as "anal." and "ass.".


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:30 PM
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I'm trying to think of an occasion for wearing fullblown Farah Fawcett-like feathering.

Karaoke maybe?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:31 PM
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80: I've been skipping a haircut on my head for some time now. I'm kinda halfway between a "Karl Marx" and a "General Jaruzelski" at this point.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:32 PM
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84

I had an asymmetrical bob, myself.

Bobbing for deep-fried onion blossoms never did become a popular pastime.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:32 PM
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85

81: My brother-in-law has not always been wildly impressed by the HR bureaucrats at his German employer.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:32 PM
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86

My singing could never live up to the expectations my hair would create. But that's the right kind of thinking.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:33 PM
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87

80, 82: Fighting crime?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:33 PM
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88

I've been skipping haircuts for over a year, and I believe I now have achieved heavy metal hair.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:33 PM
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84: Certainly the sort of thing that might leave you asymmetrical.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:34 PM
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90

Seems to me that a lot of criminals would surrender to a chick in a singlet and hugely feathered hair.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:36 PM
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91

They'll never over-water in this town again!


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:37 PM
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92

Megan doesn't even own a bra.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:39 PM
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93

You could use a Giant Wrench of Truth as your weapon. Or maybe nunchucks made from sprinkler pipe or something.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:41 PM
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Megan needs to find two similarly-feathered friends to fight crime with her. Maybe one a specialist in building codes and the other in solid waste services?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 2:49 PM
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Giant Wrench of Truth strapped to my thigh, perhaps? Surely the Building Codes specialist carries the Clipboard of Compliance.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 3:01 PM
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96

Or a measuring tape of probity?


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 3:14 PM
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97

The Giant Wrench of Truth broke the blog.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 5:51 PM
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98

Yeah, it'll do that.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 5:54 PM
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99

Fortunately, I have deployed the Great Beanbag Chair of Work Avoidance, so we should be back on track.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 5:56 PM
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100

I think, Prince, that everyone kind of wanted Megan's comment on the Nothing Happening thread to be the last word of the blog.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 5:57 PM
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101

Doesn't seem like small talk about Van Nuys should be Unfogged's last words.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 6:00 PM
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102

That comment does give one pause; yet I only did it for two and a half years, and it didn't always seem reasonable.

Meanwhile. Meanwhile, oh, lots of things.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 6:11 PM
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103

I dunno-talking about swimming would be sort of full circle.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 6:12 PM
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104

talking about swimming while wearing one flipper would be sort of full circle.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 6:13 PM
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105

Though maybe talking Jessica Biel or Rachel Wacholder swimming in preparation for invading Iraq while wearing north face gear and breakfasting on chicken salad would be a bit too on the nose.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 6:14 PM
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105: It's as if you've never even watched The Wire.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 6:27 PM
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104: Ha! Unfogged: In need of a second flipper.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-12-10 6:34 PM
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