Re: Domesticity, and L'il Oaty

1

I only eat glass.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 6:51 PM
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Seriously though, Marshmallow Mateys? Are these a regional thing? Never have I heard of them.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 6:51 PM
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Same here.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 6:54 PM
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Do you shop in the big bag portion of the cereal aisle?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 6:56 PM
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They're comparable to Lucky Charms, their opponent in the cereal match-up fight.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 6:56 PM
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Serious question: you people really eat cereal? If I eat cereal in the morning (oatmeal included), in about 1.5 or 2 hours I'm hungrier than if I hadn't eaten anything. It's protein or nothing for me in the morning.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 6:57 PM
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6 may explain 2. I never eat cereal, and basically have never eaten the kind of cereals likely to contain marshmallows.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 6:59 PM
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Well, I don't eat it in the morning. That would be ridiculous.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:00 PM
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Marsmallow Matey mutinied; Cap'n Crunch capitulated.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:02 PM
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I only eat glass.

I suspect that you do things with glass other than eat it and that what you really meant was "I eat only glass".


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:03 PM
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Only Sifu eats glass.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:07 PM
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Boys don't make passes at glass that they're eating.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:08 PM
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I love cereal. I eat cereal.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:09 PM
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Malt-O-Meal! Some of my college roommates were obsessed with that stuff.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:10 PM
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And there was something exciting about malt-o-meal.com even back then. I think there was a contest or something? I remember them getting some sort of coupon or prize or something in the mail after filling out something on the website, and deciding to display it proudly on the refrigerator rather than redeem it.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:12 PM
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Steel-cut oats with cheese. Whole grains and protein!


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:13 PM
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Steel-cut oats with cheese.

Like my abs!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:15 PM
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Serious question: you people really eat cereal?

Yes, but only the hippie-crunchy stuff made by these people.

I miss granola.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:20 PM
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16 reminds me that I keep meaning to try Bittman's suggestion of steel-cut oats with soy sauce and scallions.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:21 PM
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15: something some something something. Way to write good, self.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:21 PM
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19: Oatmeal upma!


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:29 PM
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Steel-cut oats with cheese?!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:29 PM
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not to worry essaer, there's something charming about some lack of specificity or something.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:29 PM
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Do you use sharp cheddar?


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:30 PM
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Uh 24 to 16.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:31 PM
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10, 11: none besides me eat glass.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:32 PM
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Sifu meant that he does nothing else with or to glass.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:33 PM
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Josh, don't give up on the prospect of savory oats -- oatmeal upma!

This is just an excuse to say that I really admire the way you've addressed the diabetic blood sugar situation, by the way. Congratulations. More power to you. I know that's very hard. I'm nodding with a smile in your direction, because really, you've done a terrific thing.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:37 PM
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I've never heard of Malt-O-Meal or Marshmallow Mateys, but I do eat a lot of cereal. Various granolas from the bulk co-op. And oatmeal and grits. Because they are yellow grits, I can put cheese on them. Instead of the white grits, which have to have butter and pepper. Don't tell me they taste exactly the same, I know my procedures.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:40 PM
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28: Aw, thanks.

(And I haven't given up on the notion of savory oats. I just haven't gotten my shit together enough to actually make them.)


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:40 PM
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More power to you.

What Cass Sunstein's wife does really isn't relevant to blood sugar, parsimon.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:41 PM
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32

Because they are yellow grits

That's actually polenta.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:41 PM
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What makes them "actually" polenta?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:42 PM
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34

Polenta is yellow, grits are white.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:42 PM
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Oh I used to love golden puffs or whatever they're called. And Captain Crunch. I got a box of CAPT Crunch not long ago and ate it over the course of a couple of days... That was a mistake: between the lacerations to the roof of my mouth and the slowing of certain elimination processes, I was miserable.

You really can't go home again.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:43 PM
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It's all corn meal to me. I don't see regional dishes.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:44 PM
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I think the difference is that in the processing of grits the limeleaches the color from the corn.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:49 PM
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Non-sharp cheddar doesn't exist in my world. Cabot "Seriously Sharp" is the baseline.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:49 PM
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35 is hilarious. Sorry, TJ.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:49 PM
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Grits are basically mush, right?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:50 PM
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I cringe at the thought of the sugar-encrusted garbage I ate as a child. To think it's even called cereal. Ceres weeps.

Anyhow, steel-cut oats are awfully tasty, if a minor pain in the ass to make for a quick breakfast. They're especially good with a fried or poached egg on top.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 7:59 PM
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Marshmallow Mateys® provides more value for your dollar with twice the amount of Iron than Lucky Charms at less cost per pound!

Twice the iron!


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:04 PM
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I eat Grape Nuts for breakfast. Other cereals aren't filling enough.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:05 PM
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44

Whatever happened to "li'l," as an abbreviation? Nowadays kids throw apostrophes around like candy.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:06 PM
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'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:08 PM
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Have you tried just having more, teo?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:08 PM
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47

'


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:09 PM
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My current mix of steel-cut oats, White Mountain yogurt, cranberries, almonds, and honey makes me feel like a champ every morning. It's all downhill after that, though.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:11 PM
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49

I'm having rice pudding for dinner.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:12 PM
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I do eat a lot of grits. I'm sorry to say that I'm pretty sure they have no redeeming nutritional value.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:12 PM
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Grape Nuts are like an expanding mass in your stomach; I find I should eat less of them than I think. They're right for an active lifestyle. Then it's alright. Tasty!

I cringe at the thought of the sugar-encrusted garbage I ate as a child.

Word.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:15 PM
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I didn't like cereal as a kid. Probably because of the reconstituted powdered milk. Also I'm just not a breakfast person in general.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:17 PM
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53

I don't even have a breakfast.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:18 PM
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I'm installing a printer for dinner. It's got USB vitamins, I think.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:21 PM
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I install printers like you for breakfast.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:22 PM
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You know what's good? A fruit breakfast. All fruit. Delightful. We're talking kiwis, melon, berries, citrus. Apple and pear. Mix and match. It leaves your mouth feeling clean and smiley, none of this residual carb sensation (in possible combination with dairy). That stuff just weighs you down.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:25 PM
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I feel like no one appreciates the candy coated peanut butter-flavored pieces and sugar bear-shaped crackers in the recipe in the post.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:27 PM
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Why must you all break me down, just to build me back up again?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:27 PM
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Why must you all break me down, just to build me back up again?

Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:30 PM
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How long does it take to make steel-cut oats? You can't use a microwave, right?


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:31 PM
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I had a date for dinner. It wasn't very good.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:32 PM
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61: Was he bacon-wrapped?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:33 PM
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Throw steel-cut oats in a crockpot with double the liquid the night before and the prep-time problem is solved. The clean-up problem is still a problem, though.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:33 PM
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You can use a microwave, but it's still not very quick.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:33 PM
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65

One date doesn't make much of a dinner. Even if it's bacon-wrapped.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:34 PM
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But now I've had my fill of pwnage.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:34 PM
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67

||
Is anyone else attending SODA in Austin?
|>


Posted by: breadthfirst | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:35 PM
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Mmmm.... Bacon wrapped dates....


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:35 PM
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69

They have a cereal called "Muffin Tops," which makes me sad.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:38 PM
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That Apple Zings recipe is crazy, but a bar about 5 minutes from my house happily sells balls of Stilton coated in crushed Apple Jacks and deep fried. Yes, they're kinda tasty.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:40 PM
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63: There was a whole thread about ways to prepare steel-cut oats in advance for oatmeal in some form or another throughout the week. There was good advice there. That food is a little heavy for me in the morning, so I didn't mark the thread.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:41 PM
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71: Shit. Now that you mention it, I think I posted 63 pretty much verbatim in that thread. I repeat myself a lot, don't I?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:44 PM
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73

Domesticity NYT style:

Cherl Petso, an editor of an online magazine who lives in Seattle, says trips to visit her parents in Idaho can be "tense at times," in part because she and her mother interpret each other's choices as judgmental.
If Ms. Petso prepares a vegan meal for the family, her parents prepare hot dogs to go alongside. Her parents serve on throwaway Styrofoam plates; she grabs a plate that can be cleaned and reused. Her mother, who says she prefers the way food tastes when it is served on Styrofoam, notes that washing dishes has its own environmental costs.

Fuck Galt, might as well just go Emerson.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:44 PM
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Have you tried just having more, teo?

I have, and it helps, but then I end up going through it really quickly, which gets to be problematic financially. Cereal's expensive.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:45 PM
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75

68 is either kinky or frightening. Possibly both.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:45 PM
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Cereal's expensive.

Perhaps you should check out the helpfully-linked cereal matches. Price figures heavily in the determination of the winner.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:46 PM
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73: The thing that concerns me most about that article is that it appears to be in the Science section.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:47 PM
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67: I'm probably the most likely candidate, aside from lurkers, but I am not.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:47 PM
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balls of Stilton coated in crushed Apple Jacks and deep fried

This makes me want to cry and have a cardiac arrest at the same time.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:48 PM
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76: That's a good idea, but in my experience the price difference still isn't significant enough for most cereals to cancel out the lack of substance. Whenever I can find generic Grape Nuts, though, which Malt-O-Meal doesn't appear to make, I get them.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:50 PM
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Her mother, who says she prefers the way food tastes when it is served on Styrofoam

??


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:51 PM
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I like to have a substantial breakfast, but I don't like most breakfast foods, which is problematic.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:51 PM
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83

This makes me want to cry and have a cardiac arrest at the same time.

Cry, cry, masturbate, die.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:53 PM
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The article in 73 makes my head hurt. Trying to untangle the content of people's bickering is really rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:54 PM
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I like to have a substantial breakfast, but I don't like most breakfast foods, which is problematic.

It is?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:54 PM
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84: You're not supposed to untangle it. You're supposed to mock the attempt.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:58 PM
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OT: (I'd do the pause/play thing but don't know how, so I'm kickin' it old school.) Have you seen this, heebie?


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 8:59 PM
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It is?

Well, yeah. Reduces the available options.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:00 PM
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89

I was searching for information about Cool Blue and Li'l Oaty and found this interesting page of questions and humorous answers by BYU students. Hooray!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:00 PM
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87: Maybe that will be the spot that finally converts me!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:02 PM
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Well, yeah. Reduces the available options.

Are you eating in a cafeteria?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:03 PM
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Cool Blue and Li'l Oaty

According to the bag, it really is L'il Oaty. Technically.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:03 PM
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93

I just made some baby food that was so yummy that I bet you could serve it to regular old adults.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:04 PM
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94

90: If you promise to find room in your heart for Christ, Tim Tebow will take you to the purity ball.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:05 PM
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88: All the permissible lunch and dinner options may be eaten in the morning, too. Pizza and curry are reputed to be favorites.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:06 PM
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heebie asks obvious questions, teo: if you want to have chicken salad for breakfast, you probably can. You can probably have anything you like, within reason.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:06 PM
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I don't eat cereal. I prefer cereal criticism.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:07 PM
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The link in 89 is a weird mix of standard college-advice-column stuff and concerns highly specific to Mormonism.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:07 PM
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You can probably have anything you like, within reason.

Sure, when I'm eating at home (which I usually am, of course). The trouble mostly comes when I'm traveling or otherwise forced to eat breakfast out. Many restaurants only serve "breakfast food" at breakfast time.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:08 PM
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100

For example:

It may be the opinion of that Seventy that ward prayer isn't kosher, but as far as an official directive sent down through the ranks I'm quite confident there hasn't been one because if there had, it wouldn't exist.

Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:12 PM
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99: Yeah. It's hard to find fresh fruit on the menu when you're forced to eat out for breakfast, as well. It's all eggs and bread and pork. I mostly find ways around it, bring or acquire my own food.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:13 PM
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From 89:

Q Dear 100 Hour Board,
I once tried to imagine a world with no hypothetical situations but I couldn't do it. Can you? What's it like?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:13 PM
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|| So if you have a blah date and aren't really interested in dating in general anyway and then the date emails to tell you he had a great time, is there a tactful way to respond? |>


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:13 PM
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104

Who are these "Seventy" who determine whether things are kosher? I didn't know Mormons were involved in that decision at all.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:13 PM
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105

Hooray!

False advertising.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:14 PM
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94: There's pole-dancing on the cross at purity balls?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:15 PM
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107

103: "Thanks! It is fun to hang out with me."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:16 PM
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108
Q Dear 100 Hour Board,
In the movie "Bruce Almighty" Bruce goes to a company party after getting the anchor news position. In that scene it shows Bruce walking around with a flask or container of liquid and talking to people. Is the liquid in the flask water, and so when he pours it into his glass it turns to wine or is it just wine in the flask? - he who shall not be named
A Dear anonymous coward,
Yeah, if I had watched a movie as obviously blasphemous as "Bruce Almighty", I'd be afraid to say my name, too. And as for the whole wine flask thing, think about it - it's wine. (Although I'm sure it supposedly water, which then supposedly turns to wine) - Rufus

Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:17 PM
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if you want to have chicken salad for breakfast, you probably can

It's almost as though you don't remember old what's-his-name.

and then the date emails to tell you he had a great time, is there a tactful way to respond?

"Oh, that's great. I'm glad someone did."


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:17 PM
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103: You say, "Yes, it was nice, but to be honest, I'm caught up in and distracted by a lot of other things, and am not really focused enough to pursue anything."

Add a line about a rain check, but only if you mean it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:19 PM
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109: I assume the link went to ogged and his chicken salad in pita. I remember. It was eaten pre-swimming.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:21 PM
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103: I never figured that out, either. Bave reports that he's really good about responding to OKC messages and blah dates with a clear, firm, "thank you for your interest, but I'm going to keep looking" message. I couldn't do it, fully expecting a very nasty fuck-you response. But if you figure out how to do it in response to a blah date, let me know. I think giving a reason would be mean, but just saying, "I had a nice time, thanks!" with no "let's make plans soon" is mean by being vague. Other than those options, my attempts at gracefully bowing out have failed. I don't know what I want? I'm crazy? I'm seeing other people? All of these are apparently irresistible. (Of course, "I'd love to see you again soon. I'm up for something next weekend if you are" is repellent.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:23 PM
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113

It was eaten pre-swimming.

It was eaten for breakfast.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:24 PM
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114

It was eaten at the dawn of time.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:27 PM
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115

Whatever you say.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:27 PM
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116

Isn't the gentlest way to let down a "blah" date to pretend not to speak english?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:27 PM
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117

Just in case anyone wants steel-cut oats advice, you can also make it the night before, sans slow-cooker (and I find with little clean up - you don't get a crust forming or anything like that). Toast a cup of oats in a small amount of fat. Pour in approximately 4 cups of water (this will vary depending on environmental factors - start with 4 and adjust down or up as you see fit the next time). Bring to a boil. Turn off heat, cover, let sit over night. In the morning, heat up and do whatever additions may please you. Refrigerate any left-overs and reheat to your heart's content the next morning, and the morning after that. (I am quite positive I have written about this before but I'm too lazy to look for it.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:28 PM
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118

111: It went there, and it still does!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:28 PM
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119

116: I tried that, but then he said: "Dann sprichst Du bestimmt Deutsch."


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:28 PM
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120

Whatever you say.

Especially when he's right.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:28 PM
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Ogged was a charming guy, though, no? thanks to Jesus for linking to that thread, which I think is going to have some good breakfasty suggestions.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:29 PM
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122

rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic

heebie is going to be mad at me for saying this -- and rightly so! -- but I would love to say goodbye to this phrase. Didn't the Lusitania have deck chairs? What about the shuttle Challenger?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:29 PM
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123

You could always move and change your phone number.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:30 PM
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124

Especially when he's right.

Which, incidentally, is readily discernible from the linked post.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:30 PM
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125

I rather liked Colbert's "rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg" thing.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:31 PM
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119: Then you say: "Ich kann Glas essen; es tut mir nicht weh."


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:31 PM
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127

Neither the Lusitania nor the Challenger examples carry the connotation of being in denial of the inevitable.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:32 PM
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127: they both look pretty inevitable from here.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:34 PM
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129

Now we say "rearranging the levees in New Orleans".


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:36 PM
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122: It's a perfect storm of a phrase.


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:36 PM
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Which, I mean, fine: it's doing lawn care in Pompeii. Topographically mapping Mt. St. Helens. Repainting the bathrooms at Penn Station. Building a high-rise in Miami. Just something (anything) less clichéd.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:36 PM
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132

I'm glad I didn't go to the New Orleans joke I was thinking of, because 129 is better than it would have been.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:37 PM
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133

You really want to throw the Titanic under a bus, don't you?


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:38 PM
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134

It is what it is, is what we're saying here.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:40 PM
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135

Well hey let's not throw the Titanic out with the bathwater.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:40 PM
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136

103, 112: So what if you have a date that wasn't really blah, but it wasn't really boffo either? And then you exchange a few electronic communications, during which the other party expresses definite and specific interest in getting together again, and then you never hear from that person again? I mean, it's not too difficult to read between the lines there, in terms of there being several possible scenarios, some of which reflect poorly on you, some on the other party, and some just meh. But where is that supposed to stack up on the Great Continuum of Date Misadventures?

And is it a bad idea to try to open up communications again at a much later date or is that just weird?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:40 PM
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Trying to revamp cliches is just spitting into the Titanic.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:43 PM
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138

You may as well just hang yourself, Natty.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:44 PM
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126: Looks like the "I can eat glass" page disappeared with the fall of Geocities. That's unfortunate; it was pretty cool.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:44 PM
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I think maybe I wasn't a good judge of things when dating, because I had several first dates of the "OMG let's walk around all night talking and laughing" type that I thought were sure-things for a second go-round, but got no response to my invitation to do so. In cases I've abandoned, it's usually been because, clearly, we had a 45-minute lunch in which the guy peppered me with questions, said nothing about himself, tried to kiss me, and was rebuffed. What do they expect?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:44 PM
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To tie into the "find new cliches" subthread: Redesigning your Geocities page.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:46 PM
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136: I advocate honesty.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:46 PM
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I advocate lying. Always, about everything.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:49 PM
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139: The archived page is here. White text on white background, though. At least in my browser; I had to override the page's colors.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:49 PM
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And is it a bad idea to try to open up communications again at a much later date or is that just weird?

I experienced that situation several times, and while maybe things were struck up again for a little while after contact was re-established, nothing ever went anywhere. In my experience, it seems that you really do have to hit it off from the start.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:51 PM
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I advocate honesty.

What does that even mean, parsi? Are you suggesting that one email the other person and say, 'you know, you weren't that thrilling, but I don't have any other prospects, so maybe we could give it another try'?


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:54 PM
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138: That sounds like the voice of sad experience.

Poor neb, it must be so hard.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:54 PM
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My serious (really!) suggestion would be to find out what he liked best about the date.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 9:57 PM
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I don't eat cereal. I prefer cereal criticism.

I eat cereal, but only one kind. I'm a cereal monogamist.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:00 PM
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146: It was in response to the last line of 136, which read: And is it a bad idea to try to open up communications again at a much later date or is that just weird?

The thought that one might be honest meant that if you really feel that there might have been something there, and this person might be able to hear you, go ahead and say something along those lines. Be elegant about it.

If you don't really feel there might have been something there -- if you think it's a case of just not having any other prospects -- then obviously don't pursue it. You'd be proceeding in bad faith.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:02 PM
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When I was in Germany I sought out breakfast cereals from the former east. There's just something thrilling about the old Republic cereals.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:02 PM
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from the former east

What direction is it now?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:03 PM
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151: In Soviet Russia, breakfast oats steel you!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:04 PM
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154

All around us!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:04 PM
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148: Yeah, (good guess on the pronoun, btw!) in this specific instance, there was a lot of stuff that was good, not much that was exciting, and a few things that were not very good. So it balanced out to be a good date on the whole, from my perspective, but it's certainly the case that the other fellow could've weighted various aspects much differently, and come away from it with a much more jaundiced perspective on the possibility of future encounters. But then why act all "that was fun, we should do it again soon" not just at the moment of departure, but subsequently over email when it would be easy to just say "thanks but no thanks"? Is that just standard "letting someone down easy"? Probably, huh?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:04 PM
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But 136 is being about not really knowing. If you knew which of your alternatives it was, it wouldn't be a question. There are several possible scenarios, some of which reflect poorly on you, some on the other party.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:05 PM
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(good guess on the pronoun, btw!)

Why is that a guess?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:05 PM
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155 to 150.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:06 PM
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157, I was responding both to DiK and Minn. Thus the use of "he" was actually sexist generalization, not astute emotional awareness.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:08 PM
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Why is that a guess?

Natilo is ambidextrous?


Posted by: Criminally Bulgur | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:09 PM
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159: Oh, okay, now I feel less special.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:14 PM
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156: Yes -- I guess I'm just suggesting that if you really can't tell, but remain interested enough to continue to think about it, then reaching out, which does mean putting yourself on the line, is a worthwhile option. Maybe it's one that too few of us take. I mean, sure, sometimes you just know something's dead in the water and should be dropped. If you're not sure, though, as long as you can manage to say, "Hi. I've been wondering about you" without losing your shit if you get no response, then why not? You might lose face, but there's entirely too much worrying about that.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:15 PM
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And just to clarify, I'm hardly heartbroken. It's just that I don't have a big dataset to work from (heh), and so I'm always concerned that I'm missing really obvious social cues that anyone else would pick up instantly.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:16 PM
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breakfast cereals from the former east

Cheeriost was one of the major brandt names.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:20 PM
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And, in any case, I should probably go to sleep, since I have plenty of work to do tomorrow.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:22 PM
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I hadn't seen 155 before. Whether "that was fun, we should do it again" means "no thanks" --- well, good grief. It probably doesn't. Maybe the guy just has/had stuff going on. I'd say get in touch with him, casually. "Wondering how you are" kind of thing. No? Maybe he really does have stuff going on of which you're unaware, in which case it would be good to give him space to say so.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:26 PM
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My go-to cereal. It keeps me full for hours and hours.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:39 PM
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And 164 made me titter, fa.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-17-10 10:46 PM
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Marshmallow Mateys® provides more value for your dollar with twice the amount of Iron than Lucky Charms at less cost per pound!

Twice the iron!

I love the idea that anyone eats Lucky Charms for their nutritional content. I love them, but I know I'm basically eating dessert for breakfast.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 4:12 AM
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nosflow's link in 47 reminded me that, despite the gaping holes left by Fontana Labs (IYKWIM) redacting the many comments he felt might have seemed undignified by a hiring committee, he nonetheless left up a post titled "Help me; I'm choking on a dick".


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 7:28 AM
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I eat Grape Nuts dry. Just love the crunchiness.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 7:28 AM
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159: Wait, 148 was directed at me, too? It seems kind of mean, given that I am not even a little interested, to ask what he liked about the date. Are you just thinking that maybe if I found that out it might change my mind? (It wouldn't, but I suppose that's not a crazy approach in general.)


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 7:30 AM
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Di's theme song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap-OO0xqTe4


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 7:41 AM
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To clarify AWB's discussion of my date-turning-down practice: My upbringing gave me a by-no-means-universal but hardly unique drive to please other people at the expense of my own feelings. So I have a hard time turning down anyone if they want a second date, even if the first date was less than meh. But I've come to see that, obviously, this is counterproductive behavior that's really bad for both parties -- I have to go on another date with someone I don't want to date, and he thinks things are going somewhere when they really aren't.

The easy way out of this is to refrain from responding to emails -- just disappear. This spares me the momentary discomfort of saying no to someone. But it's quite shitty, because it leaves the other guy confused or miffed, like Natilo in 136, or suicidal, like nosflow. So my policy is to be explicit about turning down further interaction. This is NOT a policy of complete honesty, just of courtesy. In fact, I think it's best to include some flattering white lies about the other party in the no-more-dates communication if necessary, while still being definite about no more dates. I owe him a certain amount of the truth, not the whole truth.

I thought this was fairly standard practice among adults who date, but I understand that it's hard for many of us to be clear about "no," and easier to simply disappear, not return emails or phone calls, etc. It's certainly happened to me enough, and I've done it to other guys in the past.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 9:44 AM
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174 was me.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 9:45 AM
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It seems kind of mean, given that I am not even a little interested, to ask what he liked about the date.

Agreed. Also, it's usually not a good idea to ask someone what they like about you unless you're pretty sure the answer isn't insulting or insane.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 9:47 AM
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So I have a hard time turning down anyone if they want a second date

I so used to do this. Then, suddenly, I find myself in a boring relationship with someone who has been subtly fighting with me since the first date. I think, "Oh, maybe I met him on an off day and I'll be open-minded." But when he asks for a second, he's saying, "This is what I like to do. I like to have boring conversations and nitpick at your answers before not having sex."

I also have a new theory about interpersonal interactions. Situations and people that make me deeply anxious are things and people I don't actually enjoy. I used to confuse anxiety for being excited or slightly nervous, but they are different.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 10:05 AM
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My upbringing gave me a by-no-means-universal but hardly unique drive to please other people at the expense of my own feelings.

This is really the heart of it, and something worthy of getting-over. After the first date, months ago, I just told him it wasn't a good time for me to pursue something (which was and is true), nothing personal. So he persisted. "Is now a good time? How about now?" Which, okay, sweet and flattering and "Oh, maybe I met him on an off day and I'll be open-minded."

And apparently I have some curse upon me that, despite my utter undesirability to anyone I might genuinely want to be with, I am apparently irresistible to gentlemen who do not appeal to me in the least. And then I know myself how much it sucks to be unappealing to someone awesome and feel horribly guilty telling someone that they are unappealing to me.

But I did and it's fine and "I think you're a great guy, just not for me" seems to work alright.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 10:43 AM
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I think it makes most sense to stick to being mostly honest:

"I just didnt feel it. I am not interested in going out with you again."


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 2:20 PM
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OT: I'd never understood what the big deal with Apple was until today. Just set-up a wireless network with an iPod Touch and I love it. Unfortunately, the Touch isn't mine, so my comments will be mostly spelled correctly until I get one.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 6:38 PM
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I bought Rory a Touch for Christmas and Oh Dear God I love that thing. I've really missed it this weekend since she's been with her dad.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-18-10 6:44 PM
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