Re: One could perfectly fill a contact lens.

1

So wait, what's the problem with female ejaculation?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:05 PM
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Well, it would really gunk up your contact lens.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:06 PM
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Callous references to the IBTC could be considered slurs.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:08 PM
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Yeah, those boatbuilders do not take kindly to inappropriate references.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:09 PM
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So wait, what's the problem with female ejaculation?

Beats me. It's not fair. Saying an ejaculation is one of the easier ways to get time off from purgatory.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:11 PM
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To everyone's credit, this has really ceased around these parts.

If my dirndl phase helped, then you're welcome.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:21 PM
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I like the set of words "Australian Sex Party." It could be a political party devoted to issues like these, or it could be an event where people have Australian sex. It could be a participant in Australian sex.

I'm not sure what Australian sex is, or how it relates to French kissing or Brazilian waxing (or for that matter Australian rules football) but it sounds appealing. The Aussies are an athletic lot.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:21 PM
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"Australian sex party" sounds like the kind of thing we're not supposed to say, like "Indian giver" or "Chinese fire drill."


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:23 PM
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Craziness! I just saw this elsewhere on the web and thought "I should link to this in an Unfogged comment!", only to find that heebie discovered it at exactly the same time.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:24 PM
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I also saw this, somewhat earlier, and thought "huh, what the fuck is that about, Australia?" and then forgot about it! What are the odds?!?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:28 PM
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only to find that heebie discovered it at exactly the same time.

Or, rather, that esmessily did.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:29 PM
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The internet tells me that the Australian Sex Party's slogan is "where you come first!", which seems a little predictable.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:38 PM
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12: And yet better than the Soviet Sex Party: "first you wear cum!"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 9:43 PM
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Esmessily seems like a particularly good person to be linking to stories about female ejaculation.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 10:01 PM
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???


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 10:01 PM
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I think, Senator Bridgeplate, the contention is that female orgasms are especially messy, which is indeed weird.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 10:09 PM
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The contention that is. Female orgasms, yay!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 10:10 PM
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12=winnner


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 10:11 PM
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Argh! That came out wrong.

Female ejaculations are, however, messy. But wonderful.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 10:11 PM
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Argh! That came out wrong.

Snicker.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 10:16 PM
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12: That old chestnut?


Posted by: Australian Wheat Board | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 10:19 PM
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12: More sex-positive would be "Australians come together!"


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 11:08 PM
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Yeah, those damn men, being attracted to how women look.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-28-10 11:16 PM
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people who comment here have sighed dreamily over waiflike women with tiny breasts.

I sigh dreamily over waiflike and full-figured women equally. This is what marks me as a True Progressive.

Those women at the middle of the spectrum are outta luck, though.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 1:05 AM
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I sigh dreamily over waiflike and full-figured women equally

I tell my students this often. One boy will start talking about some hot model or actress, and someone else, not always a girl, will start up about how being attracted to thinness is tantamount to pedophilia or latent homosexuality, and that's when I like to step in and say that, if I've learned nothing else from seeing as many people nearly naked as possible in my life (you know, like going to the Baths), it's that everyone's really hot. Skinny people, fat people, muscly, weak, male, female. They're all potential lust-objects to me.

Then they shut up about body image shit. Thank god.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 1:15 AM
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AWB: On the one hand, I'm chuffed at what you describe about your students. On the other hand, everyone isn't really hot. Beauty standards are relatively arbitrary, for the most part, but people aren't going to get around them by pretending they don't exist. You can get around them by other means, mind you, like having charm, personality, talent and/or money.... and different values may intervene and reshape them (values like "dissing women with big asses is ridiculous" or "Botox-ing your face and pushing silicone into your tits is absurd and horrible," to take two possible examples), but eliminating them... not so much.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:07 AM
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Beauty standards are relatively arbitrary, for the most part, but people aren't going to get around them by pretending they don't exist.

Not "pretending they don't exist.". Acknowledging that they are not just arbitray but highly subjective and individualized. That is, there is not one, immutable and universal standard for beauty.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:25 AM
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Theory on thin models:
1. Couture isn't a big part of the market. Most clothes are sold ready-to-wear.
2. Once you've got a customer to take the garment off the rack, take it to the dressing room and try it on, they're much more likely to buy it. That's the big hurdle to get them over. It's like getting book buyers to take your book off the shelf, which is why cover art is so important. Anyway:
3. The trick, therefore, is to design clothing that looks great not so much when it's being worn as while it's still on a hanger.
4. The ideal model for this sort of clothing, therefore, is one who is roughly the same shape as a hanger.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:28 AM
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But there doesn't have to be. If I wanted to defend the Playboy standard of beauty, fer instance, I wouldn't need to say it was immutable and universal. Just that it was relevant... or, to take it further, more relevant than other standards.

"I'd like to have an argument, please."

"Well... Mr. Bakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Try Mr. Barnard, Room Twelve."


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:30 AM
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or, to take it further, more relevant than other standards.

Aye, there's the rub. Your position assumes that one standard (to be determined) is more relevant to the observer than others. I agree that some standard is commonly socially more relevant, but I don't see why every person in a given society must be assumed to accept that relevance subjectively.

It's also true as a matter of common observation that pretty much every imaginable body type has been regarded as hot at some time or place. AWB's claim is merely that she finds every imaginable body type hot in the here and now, and in context this is a fairly trivial claim that she isn't much affected by the social and commercial pressure to favour one over another.

Given that AWB, like a lot of people here, has about three brains, I don't see why you have a problem with this. Your mileage may vary, but this reflects your personal reaction to certain types of conditioning rather than some greater truth.

(Well, you asked for an argument...)


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 5:03 AM
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I don't even own a beauty standard.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:04 AM
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30: THAT'S NOT AN ARGUMENT!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:05 AM
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Also, 13 is great.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:07 AM
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32. Well it isn't a contradiction. Probably it's just waffle - I was trying to listen to my boss while I was typing it.


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:08 AM
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Of course there are consistent cross-cultural standards of beauty (at least, as far as they can tell), they just don't have anything to do with body type.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:14 AM
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And, you know, are subject to the same caveats as anything else that exists as a meaningful statistical relationship in lab data.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:15 AM
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Scrawny waifs are ever so uncharted territory for wistful misty wack-off sessions.

Mammaries,
Like the contacts in my eyes,
Wistful misty wack-off sessions
Of the waify girl.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:16 AM
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34: I was just playing along with the Monty Python "Argument Clinic" thing.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:24 AM
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The evidence for consistent cross-cultural standards of beauty is pretty pathetic, IMHO. See, we have this country called "America", which is engaged in worldwide export of some thing called "film".

I look forward to the study that discovers consistent cross-cultural standards for rapping.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:32 AM
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I look forward to the study that discovers consistent cross-cultural standards for rapping.

Oh shit! Me too!

Somebody get some electrodes on M/tch.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:35 AM
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I look forward to the study that discovers consistent cross-cultural standards for rapping

I am no expert on rap standards, and my data set is rather dated, but I will say that it appeared to me that the worldwide export of American rap failed to affect rap standards in 1990's Germany.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:46 AM
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I suppose the Germans were too busy listening to Hasselhauf.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 6:49 AM
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That reminds me: how's the Disappointment group project going? I've got the rap break all ready to go but haven't gotten off my ass enough to get down to heebieville to actually record it.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:04 AM
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... this is a fairly trivial claim that she isn't much affected by the social and commercial pressure to favour one over another.

Hardly "trivial," though it is fairly common.* It is to progressives something like what "as a retired Special Forces operator and successful entrepreneur, I support the war on terror and the repeal of the estate tax" was to the warblogs in 2003.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:09 AM
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how's the Disappointment group project going?

It's living up to its name.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:12 AM
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I was trying to listen to my boss while I was typing it.

So, so great.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:14 AM
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Put your rejection of normative beauty standards to the test!

Better you than me! It's like Omegle, but videochat!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:14 AM
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44: I have no idea what I was going to append to that asterisk.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:17 AM
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* boobs


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:18 AM
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Did Unfogged really go through a waif phase? I always thought that the consensus* was Biel-like athletic chicks with average (in size, not nec. hottness) breasts.

The one time I fooled around with a truly waif-like woman (she actually had a suite of medical issues that kept her very thin), it was kind of creepy - neither subcutaneous fat nor muscle, just skin and ribs.

* by which I mean "what Ogged posted"


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:21 AM
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48: proof that Flip is not my sock puppet.

I've learned that, if I don't write the asterisk comment as I type the asterisk, it gets lost to the mists of my mind.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:22 AM
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50: Ogged generally did not post waifs, it's true. The specific thing that I had in mind was KR's irritatingly repetitive nostalgia about the glorious 90s when skinny girls wore thin t-shirts without bras underneath. (I didn't want to call KR out by name on the front page.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:27 AM
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50: Exocutaneous fat would be far creepier.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:28 AM
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C'mon, 47. Somebody click on it. You'll love it. Report back!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:29 AM
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I've learned that, if I don't write the asterisk comment as I type the asterisk, it gets lost to the wistful mistsy wack-off sessions of my mind.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:29 AM
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The one time I fooled around with a truly waif-like woman (she actually had a suite of medical issues that kept her very thin), it was kind of creepy - neither subcutaneous fat nor muscle, just skin and ribs.

To be humorless, this is problematic, too. That's just her body. One's body is not creepy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:29 AM
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56: Seconding your humorlessness.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:30 AM
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I think every six months or so I get completely fed up with the commercial reduction of women to their looks and I take my anger out on Unfogged.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:31 AM
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Kiiiiinda creepy.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:31 AM
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More creepy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:37 AM
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58: What about not-for-profit reduction of women?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:38 AM
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One's body is not creepy.

The fuck? Creepiness is every bit as subjective as attractiveness. So no, one's body may not be objectively creepy, but there's nothing off about JRoth personally finding something creepy. (Especially since, in this context, I'm pretty sure "creepy" basically just meant "unattractive".)


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:39 AM
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Humorless feminists, dispensing disapproving glares here, there and everywhere? The devil you say!


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:40 AM
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62: You could blame JRoth for not doing his best lust after a greater portion of the human race.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:41 AM
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So no, one's body may not be objectively creepy, but there's nothing off about JRoth personally finding something creepy.

Yeah, but these get conflated all the time. Enough to make any self-respecting feminist extremely weary.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:45 AM
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My body is being rather creepy right now, in a roiling sort of way.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:46 AM
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Oh no! It's like that scene in Alien!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:48 AM
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(Not helpful!)


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:48 AM
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in a roiling sort of way.

I've been eating beans and rice for lunch lately. I know the feeling.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:48 AM
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A mucousy green arm is going to punch out of RFTS any moment now. And then when it fully emerges it will break into "Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime gal!"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:49 AM
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Moby's havin' a beanie baby!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:49 AM
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(Not helpful!)

A message from me, to me, to clarify there.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:49 AM
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70 totally pwned, dagnabbit.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:49 AM
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And then when it fully emerges it will break into "Hello my baby! Hello my honey! Hello my ragtime gal!"

I love this cartoon.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:49 AM
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71: Yes, but hopefully one with a better LDL count.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:50 AM
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70: Aw, but maybe it will be a really cute baby owl and a different vaudeville song. That would be awesome.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:51 AM
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The picture in 59 is really, really creeping me out. I think I'd better visit one of those all-cute-kittens websites now.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:56 AM
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50: Exocutaneous fat would be far creepier.

Messier, certainly. But handy for swimming the Channel (goose grease). Also for preserving odours (Perfume: The Story Of A Murderer).


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:01 AM
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Now I want a baby singing owl.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:03 AM
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or small hooters.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:07 AM
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Sorry.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:08 AM
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No, that was funny. You can't win.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:09 AM
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I will say that it appeared to me that the worldwide export of American rap failed to affect rap standards in 1990's Germany.

Ah, but the influence of American rap on Hungarian rap of the 1990s is clear.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:10 AM
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Since there is a whole corporation whose name is based on that joke, I thought it was a bit too unoriginal.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:11 AM
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Kiiiiinda creepy.
More creepy.

Totally hott. (nsfw)


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:19 AM
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I was just humming some "Disappointment" additions this morning on my way to work. I won't have time to record anything for another week or so, but then I'll do my bit, I swear.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:24 AM
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That's just her body. One's body is not creepy.

"Just skin and ribs" isn't creepy? Sounds like someone hasn't seen The Machinist.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3877345280/tt0361862

http://img.listal.com/image/402676/600full-the-machinist-photo.jpg


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:31 AM
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Man, I love both the frog and the owl cartoons. Plus, it's so much nicer having "I love to singa . . ." stuck in my head than "The Way We Were" (although I do like Gladys Knight's version, which then brings to mind Wu Tang Clan, and so the thread comes full circle).


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:35 AM
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Not until you listen to 83, M|tch.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:36 AM
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I think I get what AWB is saying in 25, but it also seems dead wrong to me. Let me try it this way: people confuse "beautiful" with "sexually attractive.". I'm totes on board with the notion that people, in general, and men in particular, are in fact attracted to a wide range of body types, more so than most would admit. I think most people over 20 or so would admit this, if pressed.

Conversely, beauty has only a loose relationship to sexual attractiveness. For weird reasons, I've spent a fair amount of time with people who are professional fashion models, some at the high end, and I really don't think that they are intensely more sexually attractive than other folks. If anything, there's a kind of excessive beauty that kills sexuality, which I think most very pretty people will confess to, of you ask them.

But it's just crazy to leap from there and say that beauty doesn't exist. Sure, culturally conditioned blah blah, but there always have been and always will be folks who are simply prettier than others. It's like any other kind of human perfection, and can be a good thing -- people like to look at pretty people and have them around. How you deal with an unequal distribution of beauty is a feminist and political question, but pretending that unequal distribution doesn't exist and matter is just crazy


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:48 AM
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On second thought, what the hell am I doing?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:51 AM
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I'm skipping a lot of the thread to sound off right away before class.

A few theorems about beauty:

1. Everyone is beautiful in there own way, BUT for the same reason everyone is hideous in their own way.

2. With mental effort, an open mind, and the right immediate context, you can perceive the beauty or ugliness in anyone.

3. Seeing the ugly in people is a real downer.

4. Your responses to a persons physical appearance are always conditioned by what you know about their personality and lives, just as your response to a work of art is conditioned by what you know about the artist and her context. Aesthetic responses don't happen to abstract blobs of color, even round full ones.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:52 AM
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For weird reasons, I've spent a fair amount of time with people who are professional fashion models, some at the high end,

Let's speculate!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:54 AM
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Actually, the creepiest part was when things went from "finally requiting a (somewhat mutual) crush she'd had on me in HS 4 years earlier" to "wait, you've basically never gotten past 1st base with a boy and now we're here naked in a motel room a few miles from your Catholic college campus?" I was really not prepared for that kind of high stakes situation.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:56 AM
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93: he's... a lawyer! In... hm. In... Hollywood! Who has a client who... hm. Who... works with models!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:57 AM
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95: How is that weird?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:58 AM
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94: How is that weird?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:00 AM
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Halford sells black market Dexatrim.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:01 AM
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No, actually, even just hugging super-skinny people sometimes freaks me out a little bit. It's like they don't completely exist or something. Creepy!


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:01 AM
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Everyone is beautiful in there own way

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, BABY.


Posted by: OPINIONATED RAY STEVENS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:02 AM
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96, 97: That's a little weird, if the exact duplication wasn't intentional.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:02 AM
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i am with JRoth and Brock.

JRoth can be creeped out, just as a woman might be creeped out by a hairless man or a very hairy man.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:02 AM
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It's like they don't completely exist might snap in half or something.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:03 AM
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Halford's cornered the market on champagne and blow. What's your address again, Rob?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:03 AM
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102: You're just saying that because it's good for business.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:04 AM
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I meant to specify that I was against Heebie and oudemia.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:04 AM
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Moby:

Hot people and nasty people contribute to my business.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:05 AM
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28 is smart. It also suggests a corrective: hangers that look like real women.

My assumption was that extreme skinniness in fashion models was simply a product of the general trend towards making anything desirable hard to attain so that people can make money by promising to make attaining the ideal a bit easier. IOW the general trend towards promoting unhappiness with the status quo in order to sell happiness.

Also the Aussies are batshit crazy on the topic of the OP. Sadly not significantly crazier than the 'Muricans, though.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:10 AM
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Mostly nonprofessional, and weird only in the sense that I am not at all attractive or fashionable. My good friend in high school (female) became a model, and then an old family friend became a male model. And my ex had a close friend who was a male model. Recently, though, I have had a few models/fashion types as clients.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:10 AM
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107: Not that those groups are mutually exclusive or anything.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:10 AM
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I was recently discussing cheating on tv and said "Be discrete, or, better yet, don't cheat."


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:10 AM
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107: I suppose drunk and impulsive people also.

Sort of related: Just the other day I heard a defense lawyer complaining that the recession has cut his business because the pool from which he draws most of his clients does not have enough money to cross the line from "stupid" to "misdemeanor."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:12 AM
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Will is really Jesse Jackson.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:12 AM
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114

JRoth can be creeped out, just as a woman might be creeped out by a hairless man or a very hairy man.

All we're doing is being rankled because very often people act as though someone's body is inherently creepy or disgusting. A body is not inherently creepy.

JRoth can find any old thing he wants creepy, and he's further elaborated that it was worse because of the context.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:13 AM
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(and... discreet)


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:13 AM
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97 was intentional

103: No, it's not that I'm worried that I'll break them, more that there's a visceral moment of "Oh shit, where'd the rest of you go?!"


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:14 AM
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A body is not inherently creepy.

Not even the one in 85?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:14 AM
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But a skinny kid completely exists and is huggable?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:15 AM
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people confuse "beautiful" with "sexually attractive."

I'll totally buy this. 90% of the men I've ever been attracted to, I would not describe as "beautiful" (or handsome, whatever). Men I've known whom I would describe as handsome/beautiful/whatever are rarely sexually attractive to me. I frequently find myself attracted to weird-looking guys, all the while fully aware that I find them weird-looking.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:16 AM
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I was recently discussing cheating on tv and said "Be discrete, or, better yet, don't cheat."

Where "be discreet" means "cheating is OK, but cheating on TV is a bad plan."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:16 AM
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112: And to think I worry about not having enough money to cross the line from "bored" to "bored and drunk".


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:17 AM
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118: Well, it's not like I'm doing double-blind studies of huggability. If I'm giving a little kid or a baby a hug, I'm well-aware that they are not a fully-grown adult.

There was a baby at the bar the other night! So cute. I got to hold her for awhile. More people should bring their babies out to the bar. I wonder what the booth behind us thought -- it was 7 young women and 3 young men, out for birthday drinks, all of whom would be right at home on "Stop Makin' That Duckface!"


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:20 AM
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And to think I worry about not having enough money to cross the line from "bored" to "bored and drunk".

Believe you me, plenty of misdemeanors to be found as a result of bored and drunk.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:22 AM
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112.2 intrigues me. Ostensibly, Moby is talking about a criminal defense lawyer, not civil. I wonder, though, if the explanation doesn't carry some weight on the civil side, too -- clients have gotten less negligent because they are more conscious of the long-term costs of not using reasonable care? Maybe plaintiff's lawyers are less willing to sink costs on marginal cases? There has to be some way to correct this unfortunate state of things.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:23 AM
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124: I just figured that "the pool from which he draws most of his clients" was people who can no longer afford to commit misdemeanor drug possession.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:25 AM
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123: No, I know. Remember, I manage an operation that includes a bar/restaurant. So I get to go to the Bar Cop meetings. Interesting stuff.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:27 AM
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125: We need more misdemeanors and negligence to stimulate the economy!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:27 AM
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I just figured that "the pool from which he draws most of his clients" was people who can no longer afford to commit misdemeanor drug possession.

Or maybe can't go out to drink? Stay home and drink! More domestics, less DUI's. At least you'll keep your driver's license.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:28 AM
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125: Mostly alcohol, usually in combination with the internal combustion engine or the guy on the next bar stool. Drinking at home really cuts down many social problems.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:29 AM
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On a more serious note, just learned that sexual assaults were up 45% in downtown Mpls. last year. Apparently they are almost all "date rape" situations in parking lots or cars after people have been out drinking. I am going to bring it up at the next Bar Cop meeting and ask the assembled bar managers whether it might not make sense to do something about that.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:33 AM
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127: We need a Marshall Plan for stupid!


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:35 AM
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131: A What Plan? Who's Marshall???


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:37 AM
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Maybe they could do a tie-in with the new season of 24. They could sell cases with Jack Bauer's photo and the caption "Watch 24, Drink 24."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:38 AM
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131: I say we dump a couple billion buck of ARRA money on Apo and see what he can come up with.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:39 AM
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I could spend a couple billion stupidly.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:41 AM
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But can you help others achieve their stupidity potential?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:43 AM
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"Four hundred million 5-buck scratch-off tickets, please."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:43 AM
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Also, for the record:

Titties! Hooray!


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:45 AM
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137: Scratch-off tickets don't have the kind of multiplier effect you'd get from the combination of booze, fireworks, ammo, and motorcycles.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:51 AM
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Downers and cigarettes could also work in a more quiet way to boost employment in medicine, fire fighting and construction.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:53 AM
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But I'm practically guaranteed to win!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:55 AM
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Meth and flamethrowers. This is not time for half measures.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:56 AM
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If you had a few billion what you should do is set up your own lottery and print your own scratch tickets, then buy them all. That way you make the proceeds from the lottery and you also are guaranteed to win when you buy so many tickets. Profit!


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:02 AM
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No, use the flamethrower to MAKE meth.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:09 AM
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A body is not inherently creepy.

Counter-examples:

- Marlon Brando in The Island of Doctor Moreau.

- Bill Clinton's jogging shorts in 1992.

- My fingernails during the summer, when I have to cut them twice a week and am like "What the hell, fingernails?"


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:10 AM
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145.last: It is more probable that you are some sort of genetic mutant with temperature sensitive fingernails, but it is possible that you are just using your hands more in the summer. Nails grow quicker the more you stress them.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:13 AM
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...it is possible that you are just using your hands more in the summer.

I am certain that I do not know what you are implying, sir.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:15 AM
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I believe, although I haven't checked, that nails are UV sensitive. If your feet are bare all the time, your toenails grow like crazy.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:19 AM
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Dead people's fingernails and toenails continue to grow, but that does not make them creepy. Bodies are never creepy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:21 AM
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Wait, seriously? I can make my fingernails grow by doing things with my hands in the sunlight?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:23 AM
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What if they're lying on the floor and moving forward by means of a rhythmic inching movement? Creepy?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:23 AM
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Dead people's fingernails and toenails continue to grow

Actually, they don't.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:26 AM
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151: Literalist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:26 AM
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150: Googling isn't providing any support for this, and I can't remember where I 'learned' it. But I swear my toenails grew at about 4x normal speed while I was in the PC -- I lost a toenail in January, and it was all grown out a month or two later.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:26 AM
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The rhythmic inching might be creepy, but the body itself is beautiful.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:26 AM
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What if my hands are lying on the floor and inching their way towards daylight, Addams Family-style?*

* A friend sent me a book of Charles Addams cartoons from the New Yorker. They are really great. I wish the Addams characters would rise up, invade the pages of the current magazine and murder displace Roz Chast, David Denby, Adam Gopnik, Ben Greenman, Sasha Frere-Jones, John Seabrook, I could go on....


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:27 AM
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Anyway, so Bave is working on Disappointment now? Was McArbie or somebody up after that? Siobhán may be able to lay a down a sizzling Suzuki violin track.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:27 AM
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I kind of like Roz Chast.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:28 AM
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I kind of like Roz Chast.

As you should!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:28 AM
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158: Me too!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:30 AM
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Counter-examples:

How quickly we forget.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:31 AM
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As do I.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:31 AM
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Call me when Roz Chast does a cartoon as brilliant as "Death ray, fiddlesticks! Why, it doesn't even slow them up!"


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:31 AM
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the body itself is beautiful a wonderland!


Posted by: John Mayer | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:31 AM
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160: For years Roz Chast had the last page of The Sciences, the amazing and sadly defunct magazine of the New York Academy of Science, all to herself. It was awesome.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:31 AM
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Ok, this is pretty fantastic.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:33 AM
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156: My parents have a couple of Charles Addams books as coffee table fare. They're really great.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:42 AM
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54: C'mon, 47. Somebody click on it. You'll love it. Report back!

I did. I got a video of a guy masturbating, which was creepy. Then I got a video of some teenage girl giggling awkwardly at the camera, which was creepy in a different way. Unsettled, I then closed the window.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:46 AM
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154: Did your time in the PC involve more walking/standing than other phases of your life? Because I think my 'stress = growing nails' might cover this case also.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:50 AM
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displace Roz Chast

Flippanter is banned.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:51 AM
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I note that no one is defending Denby or Seabrook.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:52 AM
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I got a video of a guy masturbating, which was creepy.

We already established upthread that one's body is not creepy, Otto.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:52 AM
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Not so's you'd notice, really -- I've got a mostly pedestrian lifestyle at home, and did in the PC as well. But it did involve flip-flops rather than shoes, so if constant friction from socks doesn't count as stress but bumping into things without cushioning does (which could be -- they're different, certainly), that could be it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:53 AM
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This somewhat undermines Addams' street cred:

Charles Samuel Addams or "Chill" as his friends called him

Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:54 AM
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I have no recollection of who Seabrook is.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:56 AM
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172: No, no--it was more the experience of having a man stroking his turgid member pop up on my screen that was creepy. I made sure to yell "Your body is not creepy, good sir!" before clicking away.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:57 AM
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176: Please draw no inferences from the speed with which I close this window! You are beautiful, in everything you do!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:58 AM
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Hold up, oud. "Your body is beautiful" in no way commits one to "you are beautiful in everything you do".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:59 AM
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I note that no one is defending Denby or Seabrook.

We haven't taken leave of our senses.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:00 AM
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173: You and Flippanter may be right. Wikipedia gives this cite for the claim that nails grow faster in the summer: Hunter, J. A. A., Savin, J., & Dahl, M. V. (2002). Clinical dermatology. Malden, Mass: Blackwell Science. p. 173. I'm not about to walk six blocks up-hill in the bitter cold to check.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:01 AM
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||
Anti Vaccination activist found to have acted unethically. I am togolosh's complete lack of surprise.
|>


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:02 AM
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Please draw no inferences from the speed with which I close this window!

I am an NBA point guard. If I were a drummer, it would have been slower.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:03 AM
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Somewhat related to this topic, a co-worker's weight loss affirmations is "Husky boys don't get laid."


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:04 AM
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||

My cat, who will eat nearly anything,* is currently enjoying saltines.

*Hummous is a particular favorite.

|>


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:04 AM
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That doesn't sound very affirming, will.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:05 AM
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183: If he does drop pounds and still doesn't get laid, he'll have no choice but to assume he's unloveable. To avoid this, keep HoHos on your desk for whenever he comes into your office.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:07 AM
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Maybe Flippanter meant to write "displace nearly every New Yorker cartoonist, the most obvious exception being Roz Chast".

She's still funny after all these years.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:09 AM
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If he does drop pounds and still doesn't get laid, he'll have no choice but to assume he's unloveable.

I'll just be over in the corner, punching myself in the face.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:09 AM
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There's some kid/young adultish novel in which the protagonist hates having to buy clothes in the "husky" department. Can't remember the book, though.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:09 AM
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188: No, not you. Just Will's coworker.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:12 AM
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184: A while back one of my cats got into a box leaving me to clean up a dozen soggy, saltless crackers an some milky white vomit.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:12 AM
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188: Chicks dig guys with bruises.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:15 AM
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178: If people can quote John Frickin' Mayer, then I can quote Xtina Aguilera, thank you!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:16 AM
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The recording project lives? I guess I had better start practicing.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:16 AM
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184: One of my stepmother's cats likes to chew the plastic sleeves in which saltines are packaged.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:18 AM
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There's some kid/young adultish novel in which the protagonist hates having to buy clothes in the "husky" department.

Sounds like something from a Daniel Manus Pinkwater book.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:18 AM
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When I was a kid, the only version of Mother Goose's Tales in the house was the one illustrated by Addams. (I of course had no idea this wasn't the standard presentation.) Old man clothéd all in leather: distinctly creepy.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:19 AM
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189, 196: Or John Bellairs? Definitely rings a bell, and I'm pretty sure I haven't read Pinkwater.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:20 AM
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The Cat Ate My Gymsuit?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:22 AM
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198: In The House With a Clock in Its Walls there is a forlorn passage about Louis Barnavelt's sussurating corduroy pants.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:23 AM
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I used to hate corduroy pants. My school forbid jeans and apparently khakis were invented until 1991 or so.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:26 AM
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200: I loved that book.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:28 AM
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apparently khakis were invented until 1991 or so.

Since which time there's been a real dearth of creativity in the casual trousers department.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:29 AM
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202: Who didn't? I've wondered what Bellairs' novels for adults are like.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:29 AM
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s/b khakis were not invented. The point is that I wore corduroy because I didn't have much choice.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:29 AM
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The Cat Ate My Gymsuit?

The protagonist is a boy, but it's in that vein.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:29 AM
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There are Bellairs novels for adults? Holy shit. I'm off to Powell's.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:31 AM
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In Pinkwater's Alan Mendelsohn, The Boy from Mars, Leonard Neeble wears clothes purchased in the "Boys' Portly" section of the department store.

I have no idea how I remember this stuff in such detail, considering that I abandoned YA for trash like the novels of Eric van Lustbader when I was about 11.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:32 AM
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nosflow:
it should be affirming for you, you skinny thing.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:33 AM
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There are Bellairs novels for adults? Holy shit. I'm off to Powell's.

This.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:33 AM
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clothéd

Really?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:33 AM
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There are Bellairs novels for adults?

I recall some being listed opposite the title pages in the Louis Barnavelt books. The Face in the Frost?


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:35 AM
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211: In that volume, yes.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:35 AM
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As far as I can tell, the books to look for are St. Fidgeta and Other Parodies, The Pedant and the Shuffly, and The Face in the Frost.

Also, I'm in awe of Flippanter's memory.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:43 AM
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In Pinkwater's Alan Mendelsohn, The Boy from Mars, Leonard Neeble wears clothes purchased in the "Boys' Portly" section of the department store.

Wow, that is impressive recall.

According to Amazon the exact line is "I am actually not fat but portly. That's what it says on the label when I get clothes in the department store: boy's portly."

Pinkwater is great.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:43 AM
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196 - I don't think so. Although, you know, Winston Bongo looks like a penguin.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:43 AM
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193: I didn't recognize it. But anyway, it wasn't your quoting, but the content of the quotation, to which I objected.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:43 AM
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it should be affirming for you, you skinny thing.

On the contrary, it seems I have to conclude I'm unlovable.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:46 AM
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To go back to Roz Chast, this has pride of place on my fridge.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:46 AM
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To clarify 25: I'm not a saint; I have preferences. But it is something I feel I can say to my students in order to get out of a long discussion about whether back on the veldt women with giant boobs or ones who look like boys or children produced more erections and why. The "natural history" of sexual appeal makes me want to gouge my eyes out. But it's also not a lie; there are a lot of interesting shapes in the world. Even if I'm not sexually attracted to all of them, I can see it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:49 AM
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||

Is this the thread for cat-based updates? The roommated and I began the Great Cat Pee Clean-Up the other night, based on advice from the Mineshaft. It turns out it's less a pee problem than it is an other-output-from-the-cat's-business-end problem.

Grrrrrrrrrrrross.

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:52 AM
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roommated


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:52 AM
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I'm having incredibly frustrating internet issues that make me gone for hours at a time. So, reaching back:

But a skinny kid completely exists and is huggable?

Actually, Iris is rail thin (wiry, tho - quite strong. she can ride on my shoulders, flop back until her head is dangling down, then sit herself back upright; all I do is hold onto her ankles), and hugging her is a bit weird. Now that she's approaching adult height (closing in on 4'), it's incongruous to wrap your arms all the way around (with her arms raised, I can wrap one arm all the way around her chest and touch my own shoulder).

We also have one adult friend who's super-thin (hard to believe it's healthy, frankly), and hugging her is a bit weird, too. Part of it is that I'm a full-on hugger - within the bounds of propriety, if I'm hugging you, I'm wrapping you up and squeezing. Doing that with someone the circumference of a volleyball is just so different.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:52 AM
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Where did I read a paragraph about people who are so beautiful they make your sexual desires seem crude and out of place with respect to them?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:52 AM
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On the contrary, it seems I have to conclude I'm unlovable.

You of all people should know that a statement does not logically imply its inverse (only it's contrapositive).


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:53 AM
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uggh: "it's" s/b "its"


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:54 AM
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It was a reference to 186. But yes, it's true that the truth (assuming this is true, which it isn't) of husky boys don't get laid doesn't imply all skinny boys (if they are not unlovable) do get laid.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:55 AM
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221: Grrrrrrrrrrrross

I'm sure. But, easier to scoop?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:56 AM
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Nails grow quicker the more you stress them.

Wow, really?

Also, Moby, was it your building that was on fire yesterday? If so, do you have a better alibi than, "but I was too busy commenting to light anything ablaze"?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:56 AM
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227: Sorry for 186. I'm just husky and that makes me grumpy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:57 AM
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I rarely find Harry Bliss funny, but I've carried this one around with me for ten years now.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:58 AM
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But yes, it's true that the truth (assuming this is true, which it isn't)

new mouseover?

I no longer feel bad about my "its" / "it's" typo.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:58 AM
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229.1: I couldn't find anything to support that nails grow more rapidly when stressed. So, I'm backing-off than one.

229.2: Not my building. I'm not sure which one it was with the fire as I always get those biomed towers confused.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:59 AM
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Hey, if we're turning Disappointment into a lame vehicle for parents to show off their children, Kai started singing along today. He can't really speak yet*, but AB was singing, to his bear, "We love you Siggi/Oh yes we do..." and he'd sort of mumble along and then harmonize on the "do" and "blue" bits. Cutest fucking thing in world history.

* although he did say "Google" the other day


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:00 PM
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224: I think this is pretty common in men.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:01 PM
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roommated s/b roommatéd


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:02 PM
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It was here.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:04 PM
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Skinny people, fat people, muscly, weak, male, female. They're all potential lust-objects to me.

Have I mentioned how swell it would be to see the world through AWB's eyes?


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:09 PM
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238: It would be awkward to have to wear a long coat at all times.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:16 PM
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roommated

I.e., what Stanley heard the other night.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:16 PM
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233
those biomed towers

Ah, of course, short for "biomedical". I read it as "having a biome" and couldn't figure out for a minute what kind of building that could describe. Maybe it should have been written "those biomèd towers".


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:23 PM
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Those bioméd tówers, where the kíne cúddled!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:26 PM
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241: Pronounced "coop".


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:26 PM
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nosflow is much more loveable in person.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:28 PM
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Y'all have seen the new Rolling Stone interview with John Mayer, right? He apparently finds his own body a wonderland.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:34 PM
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Alan Mendelsohn, The Boy from Mars

This is the one where the kid hates going to the swimming pool and spends a lot of time underwater holding his breath so people can't see him? When I was middle-school age I was quite skinny and really self-conscious about my body, and I totally identified with the "portly" kid's hatred of showing himself in a swimming suit.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 12:49 PM
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30: Sorry, OFE. You showed up and brung the argument, and I let my end down. In my defense, I did have to get to work this morning.

Let me make it up to you:

I don't see why every person in a given society must be assumed to accept that relevance subjectively.

You don't have to claim a thing about "every person in a given society." Just the majority of them, most of the time.

It's also true as a matter of common observation that pretty much every imaginable body type has been regarded as hot at some time or place.

But not all of them, at a single time or place. And it isn't going to happen. Moreover, there are other factors in beauty that aren't nearly so variable. It would be challenging to track down a society that valued warts or lazy eyes as markers of beauty, for example, or that didn't find beauty in symmetry of facial features.

Mind you, I think the striving to appreciate more body types is a good thing, in that that impulse has broadened in a real way the range of what the man (mostly the man) in the street will recognize as "hot." But that's not the same thing as eliminating a beauty standard.

56: One's body is not creepy.

Of course it is. To a person who finds slimy things creepy, for example, a body that involves large amounts of slime will be inherently creepy. To a person who finds counting their partner's ribs with their fingers creepy, a body shaped by long stretches of anorexia will be creepy. Them's the breaks.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 1:38 PM
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To a person who finds counting their partner's ribs with their fingers creepy

Dann versteh ich den Marmor erst recht: ich denk und vergleiche,
Sehe mit fühlendem Aug, fühle mit sehender Hand.
Raubt die Liebste denn gleich mir einige Stunden des Tages,
Gibt sie Stunden der Nacht mir zur Entschädigung hin.
Wird doch nicht immer geküßt, es wird vernünftig gesprochen,
Überfällt sie der Schlaf, lieg ich und denke mir viel.
Oftmals hab ich auch schon in ihren Armen gedichtet
Und des Hexameters Maß leise mit fingernder Hand
Ihr auf den Rücken gezählt. Sie atmet in lieblichem Schlummer,
Und es durchglühet ihr Hauch mir bis ins Tiefste die Brust.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 1:41 PM
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Of course it is. To a person who finds slimy things creepy, for example, a body that involves large amounts of slime will be inherently creepy. To a person who finds counting their partner's ribs with their fingers creepy, a body shaped by long stretches of anorexia will be creepy. Them's the breaks.

Oh please. Read past 56.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 1:43 PM
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Or you'll miss the cat poop report.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 1:46 PM
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249: I done read the whole thread and everything. My remark is still applicable, witty and effervescent.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:01 PM
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I'll grant you effervescence.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:06 PM
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203: Since which time there's been a real dearth of creativity in the casual trousers department.


I beg your pardon!


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:07 PM
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Take thy beak from out my heart.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:08 PM
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The passage in 248 is guaranteed to get R/b/rt R/ch/rds all misty-eyed.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:12 PM
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It was in his class that I first encountered it!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:15 PM
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Same here.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:20 PM
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Applebee's Or, A Vision In A Lifestyle Segment

In Washington, Barack Obam'
A bioméd pleasure dome, decree'd
Potomac, stinky river ran,
Past offices measureless to man
Down to a rising sea.
So sev'nty miles of swampy ground,
With malls and condos girdl'd round,
And there were bistros bright with swipple friends,
Where blossomed many an onion, hot and fried,
And here were many fads and trends,
Enfolded in a menu gross and wide.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:21 PM
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As far as I can tell, the books to look for are St. Fidgeta and Other Parodies, The Pedant and the Shuffly, and The Face in the Frost.

All of them are fun (Face in the Frost has been a favorite of mine for 30+ years), and all were republished last year in this volume, along with part of an unfinished sequel to Face in the Frost.


Posted by: potchkeh | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:22 PM
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I guess what I object to is not that anyone is not attracted to this or that type of body, but the urge to judge other people's attractions. This extends to homophobia, of course, in that homophobes feel somehow personally implicated or sexually assaulted by merely seeing or being made aware of gay sex, from which they must personally distance themselves as vocally (or violently) as possible. Every time I've taught a text in which someone expresses homosexual lust, there's always at least one student in the room who has to audibly say "Ugh!" whenever it comes up. No one ever said you have gay feelings, dude. We're not talking about you.

But it also happens in discussions of sexual attractions to body types, whether they're standard or non-standard. The vehemence with which people feel the need to disavow sexual attraction for a certain type or person seems outsized to me. How is it personally offensive to you if someone is attracted to someone you're not attracted to? Again, I'm no saint in this regard, and have certainly had nasty thoughts of my own about other people's attractions that have nothing to do with me. But I don't think it's a good habit of mind.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:29 PM
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258: Very impressive!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:35 PM
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260: Agreed!

Also I think it's odd that in this thread creepy and lust-provoking seem to be contradictory. That can't be right.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:37 PM
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I can see where it's meaningful if someone you are having sex with or would (realistically) like to have sex with is pointedly attracted to someone who doesn't look like you at all. But if it's just some random people on the street or in a book or on TV, I would try not to worry about it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:38 PM
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I worked as a nurses' aide in a long-term-care home for a couple summers. People who have been paralyzed or bedbound for years tend to be either very thin or very fat. The thin ones, I could pick up to turn them gently and change the linens and give them something else to look at; and much as I liked some of them, and little as there was any sexual desire at all, it was creepy: bone and skin and nothing else.

Then I'd go home and hug my family and have a moment's illusion of how they would feel, old and sick and thin.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 2:51 PM
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There is an important difference between standards (of beauty) and consensus (about beauty).
...
I was just thinking the other night about the paucity of discourse about human physical beauty. It is much more complicated than simple symmetry. There may be a hundred shoulder types, that in combination with each neck and chest, are visually pleasing. But not enough discussion about why these combinations are pleasing.
...
I have also wondered what it is exactly about say, Audrey Hepburn, that is absolutly not boylike or childlike. How do I know instantly? Do I really? Is there something culturally determined, in Audrey or the viewer?
...
I decided I want to look at more gayporn, Playboy equivalents. Young men posing seductively.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:06 PM
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Also I think it's odd that in this thread creepy and lust-provoking seem to be contradictory. That can't be right.

You find Uncle Fester attractive?

/heroically ties the thread together


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:07 PM
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260: I guess what I object to is not that anyone is not attracted to this or that type of body, but the urge to judge other people's attractions.

I'm on board with this.

The thing is, body types and attractions thereunto are often taken to be synecdoches for a whole lifestyle or worldview. Take common cliches about feminine body types and the persons who love them: someone who's attracted to skinny waifs has been brainwashed by the fashion industry or is a borderline pedo; the Barbie doll physique is an endorsement of porn, silicone and the hot, snotty tears of shame of many an adolescent girl who couldn't attain the ideal; if you "like big butts and you cannot lie," you're implicated in the pervasive misogyny of hip-hop culture; if you like fat women, you're a condescending more-liberal-than-thou bastard; and so on and so forth. And, well, all those assumptions about people with those tastes may well be frequently validated -- which is what makes the whole business so fraught -- but it certainly gets tiresome nevertheless.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:11 PM
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I decided I want to look at more gayporn

It's good to have goals.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:11 PM
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Take common cliches about feminine body types and the persons who love them....

I like Grace Kelly.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:15 PM
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265: Young men posing seductively.

You, my friend, need some Mandom.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:17 PM
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269: So that's where you stand on monarchism and hereditary privilege! I knew it!


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:18 PM
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269. But you haven't masturbated to her since 1982. What a trouper!


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:20 PM
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271: Kelly for brickwork! And ... for love.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:20 PM
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271: No, I think it means that Flippanter wishes that every woman would have a cerebral hemorrhage and die in a car crash. That's sort of misogyny defined right there, innit?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:22 PM
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The thing is, body types and attractions thereunto are often taken to be synecdoches for a whole lifestyle or worldview.

As the OP link says, if you've ever lusted for a woman with A cup breasts, you're a pedophile. And if you've ever been excited by the idea or reality of female ejaculation you're just an all around perv who should be in prison just on principle.

Come to think of it, does this apply to both genders? Would someone who was attracted to me up through my late twenties when I could have served as a model in anatomy class a pedophile? (Time to report all exes and those who just hit on me to the NYPD?) What about women or gay men who have ever found male ejaculation a turn on?


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:23 PM
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268:Links?

Last week or so I probably read 10,000 words on Las Meninas. I compared 2-5 of the 15 Picasso homages to the original.

But if asked why or how Scarlett Johansson is beautiful I would be at a loss, either with cultural inhibition or for lack of adequate tools.

Physical beauty is the work of poetry, not science? We should not objectify people and their components as we do paintings or literature? Do people have something transcendant and eternal that makes them off-limits to objective analysis?

Certainly not their minds and behavior, we objectify those constantly. Only their bodies, we leave to doctors or leave alone?

Is it only I that lacks words to compare Audrey's nose to Scarlett's?


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:24 PM
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90% of the men I've ever been attracted to, I would not describe as "beautiful" (or handsome, whatever). Men I've known whom I would describe as handsome/beautiful/whatever are rarely sexually attractive to me. I frequently find myself attracted to weird-looking guys, all the while fully aware that I find them weird-looking.

Do you secretly think you're weird-looking? (Note: this has nothing to do with whether you actually are). If so, you may feel more comfortable with other people who you think are weird-looking, and it is sometimes easier to feel attracted when you are comfortable.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:25 PM
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274: Now I feel sad and also stupid for not saying "Isadora Duncan".


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:26 PM
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276: But if asked why or how Scarlett Johansson is beautiful I would be at a loss, either with cultural inhibition or for lack of adequate tools.

Breasts, Bob. It's the breasts.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:27 PM
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Speaking of body image and gender, I had the misfortune to catch some of Sorority Boys (Wallace Wolodarsky, 2002) yesterday at the dentist's office. Nothing like having a pleasant young hygienist stick her fingers in your mouth while you're watching three Z-list comedians dressed in drag beating each other with foot-long pastel double-headed dildos. No sirree, nothing like it in the whole world. Shudder.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:27 PM
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267: Yeah, and I think personality type ends up being a lot more important in sexual attraction than body things, but they can be related in ways that are hard to trace. I don't mean that as some kind of utopian crazytalk. Looks say different things to different people about a person's personality, self-care regimen, relationship with money, attitude, sexuality, etc. One of the interesting things about people-watching at the Baths is that, since you don't know how those people dress, wear their hair or makeup, etc., and all you can see is the body, they tend to come across as more attractive because many of the usual social-weed-out factors we might associate with "looks" are missing.

I'd be willing to bet that a large amount of most people's attraction to a "type" is the association of a particular personality with that type, rather than entirely hormonal responses to a physical shape.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:27 PM
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It is of course clear to anyone with any taste that Grace Kelly was the second most beautiful white woman of the 20th century. (Going to bed now.)


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:28 PM
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Is it only I that lacks words to compare Audrey's nose to Scarlett's?

The word is "superior."


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:28 PM
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Beauty is weird. When I expressed surprise recently that the children of a beautiful couple were a little weird looking, my friend said "Oh, yeah, didn't you know that always happens?" It's almost as if there's an optimum value, and both too much and too little look weird.

Then again, replacing beauty with intelligence is also a possible (overly simplistic) explanation for autism, especially the high rates of functioning autistic people in Silicon Valley.


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:29 PM
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Then again, replacing beauty with intelligence is also a possible (overly simplistic) explanation for autism,

I'm too beautiful to know what you mean.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:32 PM
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re: 282

Au contraire!


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:35 PM
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282: Racist.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:37 PM
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The most beautiful white woman of the twentieth century being Rossy de Palma, of course.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:52 PM
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As DS says, anyone who is now or ever has been attracted to person of a different race is a racist. If not why, are you a racist or something?


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:55 PM
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As DS says, anyone who is now or ever has been attracted to [a] person of a different race is a racist.

Fixed.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:58 PM
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Then again, replacing beauty with intelligence is also a possible (overly simplistic) explanation for autism, especially the high rates of functioning autistic people in Silicon Valley.

I'm too unintelligent to know what you mean.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 3:59 PM
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I'm too unintelligent to know that you're beautiful.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:02 PM
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When I expressed surprise recently that the children of a beautiful couple were a little weird looking, my friend said "Oh, yeah, didn't you know that always happens?" It's almost as if there's an optimum value, and both too much and too little look weird.

"Are you the product of a schluppy sheriff, or the king and queen of the prom?"


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:06 PM
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Bei mir, bis du dumm.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:13 PM
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279:Audrey had them, too dude.

One of the reasons I did not join in Palin-bashing is my sense that that anything is on the table, spelling, grammar, syntax ignorance, logic, all expression, life experience, basic core identifying feelings and affects to the most enthusiastic criticism and condemnation...but never ever Palin's thunderthighs.

This is a new mystification of the female body, making it again off-limits to public discourse. When "dumb as a duck" draws the laughter of your female friends but "she has a well-turned ankle" is considered a barbarism beyond the pale of all other social cruelties you know you are in a Neo-Victorianism approaching the purdah.

Since the politics and economics is also Neo-Victorian, I am not really surprised.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:17 PM
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279:Audrey had them, too dude.

Most women do, bob.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:18 PM
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296: But pay attention to the comma, neb! I think he's saying something like "Audrey had them, [but hers were] too dude." I can only guess at the intended meaning. Perhaps he thinks Audrey Hepburn appeared to have man-breasts.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:22 PM
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This was the dead time. As the grim gloaming January light faded into darkness, the lawyers and professors and professional malcontents turned away from their screens. Some began the long commute back to their well-appointed kitchens, where stand-mixers stood sentinel against the rapacious gains of frozen convenience food laden with high-fructose corn syrup. Others, already at home, finally acquiesced to the sarcastic barbs of spouses and the grating whines of minor children. Their screens continued to illuminate their offices and bedrooms for a moment, before they too succumbed, ordered into randomness by the imperative of a screen saver program.
This was dinner time, and Unfogged was quiet, the joyous banter of breasts and erections now forgotten as the exigencies of domesticity ground cruelly on.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:31 PM
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298 is a moving meditation on love, loss and the nature of modernity, written in a voice as stark and uncompromising as the Canadian Shield.


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:34 PM
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297:See! See!

No limit to the mocking of my appearance, no bounds to the cruel dissaection of my personal expression or awkward and clumsy attempts at communication.

As long as what is criticized is not my physical appearance. essear would never make the joke about my ears needing to be monitored by air traffic control.
Never.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:42 PM
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298 and 299 were both awesome. Who wrote them and forged Natilo and DS's names?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:43 PM
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It's because essear is himself the exactly kind of grotesque freak that you normally have to go to the Mutter Museum to see.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:46 PM
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Apparently I'm abusing people today.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:47 PM
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It's all good, as long as you abuse yourself, too.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:49 PM
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301: THAT'S RIGHT, I WROTE AND POSTED THOSE LITERARY MASTERPIECES! AND I WOULD'VE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!


Posted by: OPINIONATED VILLAIN FROM A SCOOBY-DOO CARTOON | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:51 PM
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in a voice as stark and uncompromising as the Canadian Shield

Will steal this.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:53 PM
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S'pose I'll have to go downstairs and get myself a pint.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 4:56 PM
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298: Reminds me of this site which I saw on linked on 11d.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 5:11 PM
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295: "she has a well-turned ankle" is considered a barbarism beyond the pale of all other social cruelties you know you are in a Neo-Victorianism approaching the purdah.

C'mon now. It's not that one mayn't remark on a woman's appearance; it's that remarks about a woman's appearance are considered to be obvious sorts of things one might say about her, when the same is not true of remarks about a man's appearance.

Should there come a day on which I can say casually of a man, "He has a well-turned ankle," or "Really nice thighs on him," or "The guy has a fantastic mouth, you have to admit," and no one bats an eye but instead pauses, considers, offers an opinion on said ankles, thighs or lips ... then okay, it won't bug me when similar remarks are made about women.

Harrumph.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 5:50 PM
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Also, when women's believing that their bodies are being looked at by men doesn't literally cause them to talk less, something not true for male lookees or female lookers. (ACtual experimental paper which I am too lazy to cite.)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:12 PM
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310: That's interesting. To the extent that I follow.

I admit it would be kind of interesting to see that study.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:28 PM
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280 and 298 are strong work, Natilo. Praise you.

Should there come a day on which I can say casually of a man, "He has a well-turned ankle," or "Really nice thighs on him"...and no one bats an eye

A woman once took me to task for wearing shorts more than she considered appropriate, because, she said, my having great legs didn't mean I should reveal them all the time. Other people heard her say this, but no one batted an eye. Anecdatum.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:47 PM
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312: your own mother doesn't count.


Posted by: Turgid jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:54 PM
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Jesus has hott thighs, everybody! Cool.

(Really -- I'm a legs woman.)

I've known men to be irritable about other men with great attributes of one sort of another who actually make them visible. Basically, everybody has an inferiority complex/low self-esteem/is self-conscious.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 7:57 PM
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314.last: that's about right.


Posted by: Turgid jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:01 PM
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||So, listening to my friend argue with her soon-to-be-ex-husband's friend about the mandatory state child support percentages. Oy. Hon, you don't need to defend yourself to this guy. I should probably RTFA to refresh my memory of how much this divorce stuff sucks. |>


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:36 PM
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I'm not likely to catch up on the thread, but let me express solidarity wit Pars on the glory of nice legs on a man. Mmm, a nicely cut calf. Oh.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:40 PM
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Mmm, a nicely cut calf.

Veal!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:42 PM
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Osso Bucco to be exact.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:46 PM
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317: Well, yes, but it's thighs.

I was lying a bit in 309 above: I'm actually not very comfortable with talking about men and their bodies in a salacious manner, because I know the detrimental effects such talk has on women, and I don't really want to dish it out in return.

Just confessin'.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:51 PM
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Oh, Pars, but God. A nicely cut calf... I don't date. But come summer and shorts and nicelt cut calves? Well.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:56 PM
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Yeah. Btocking. In solidarity with the soon-to-be-divorced friend. I haven"t Btocked in a long time...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:58 PM
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Jesus is married, as you know.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 8:59 PM
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Hey, go easy, parsimon.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:00 PM
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324: ?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:01 PM
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Um... Wasn't taliking about Jesus. Though I'm sure his calves are fabulous.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:02 PM
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Though I'm sure his calves are fabulous.

I think Anselm's argument proves that God has the most fabulous of all possible calves.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:08 PM
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325: 324 to 323. I'll leave it to others to comment on my calves. (But really, my cows...)


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:12 PM
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328: Uh, I didn't mean anything inappropriate. Just smiling in your general direction about the legs, in the shorts, which was a lovely confession on your part. Peace, then.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:16 PM
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And I was being inappropriate, hence the confusion. Anyway, my shorts are knee-length, so my thighs are mostly a secret. Don't tell anyone.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:28 PM
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look, i hate to be all public with my hate, and mostly agree with AWB at 260, but most of the time when i shake someone's hand (which happens a lot at work), i shudder inside. humans a wow ugly compared to, say, dogs.

I just assumed at least lots, if not most, other people also hold in disgust, because of politeness. like asking follow-up questions during eye-stab boring small-talk.


Where did I read a paragraph about people who are so beautiful they make your sexual desires seem crude and out of place with respect to them?
isn't this just pre-first girlfriend?


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:28 PM
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most of the time when i shake someone's hand (which happens a lot at work), i shudder inside.

Why don't you kick them in the groin instead? I'm sure they'd understand.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:34 PM
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Practically everything leaves me totally cold.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:36 PM
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330 Mmmm. Knee length shorts still reveal nicely cut calves. Rrowr. My friend is upstairs and in a bad way. Another reminder not to drink with friends as if they can drink like you...


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 9:39 PM
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The specific thing that I had in mind was KR's irritatingly repetitive nostalgia about the glorious 90s when skinny girls wore thin t-shirts without bras underneath

I'm feeling unfairly maligned here. First of all, I was nostalgic for women wearing sheer blouses with no bras. Very different!

Secondly, while my recollection of the practice pertains mostly to thin, small-breasted women (I lived in France in those days, where women are mostly thin and small-breasted by American standards), I never meant to restrict the invitation to waifs. In *my* utopia, the wearing of sheer blouses with no bra will be open to women of *all* breast sizes: small, big, and every shape and size in between!

Breasts of the world, separate! You have nothing to lose but your chafing elastic!


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 10:06 PM
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There is nothing I could do to achieve a small-breasted aesthetic, despite having small small breasts and being totally Btock-style. But some of us have little option but to clothe ourselves in whatever is possible because, goddamn we are old and fucking shut up about whatever it is you think tits do for you.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:19 PM
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I should also add that my therapist asked me how I feel about people I've slept with and I said, "Just slept with? I hope they get a nice cup of coffee" and she said, "That must be easier" (disainfully) and I said "Oh, easier? Yes, so much easier."


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:24 PM
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333:
So tell me why should it be true
That I get a kick out of you


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:27 PM
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fucking shut up about whatever it is you think tits do for you.

Tits have done a lot for me. When I was wee, I (apparently) sucked on one to gain nourishment. Tits gave me life!


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:29 PM
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338: Coo, ducks, I didn't know you cared!


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:36 PM
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339: Just one? Is that some kind of Candide reference?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:37 PM
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I hereby announce (no kiddin') my intention to play the singing Anna in some production of Die Sieben Todunsünden before I die.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:38 PM
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Would that I could make literary references instead of the mistakes of a sloppy writer—one who is not even sloppy drunk, I'll add.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:38 PM
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To be fair, you probably were not sucking on more than one simultaneously.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:40 PM
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Someone wanna call my mom and ask her?


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:41 PM
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Oh, Otto, I am sloppy drunk and utterly incapable of literary reference.


Posted by: Di | Link to this comment | 01-29-10 11:59 PM
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Have you seen the moon tonight, Di? Go look at it.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 12:08 AM
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Stay in and drink gin instead.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 12:24 AM
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Why does my iTunes insist that my CD of the Sieben Todesuenden belongs in the category of 'Alternative Punk'?


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 12:33 AM
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What's more punk than deadly sins?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 12:35 AM
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Any place you could think of, you can be.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 12:39 AM
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The moon is indeed bright and full of promise.


Posted by: di kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 1:30 AM
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It causes lunacy, you know.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 2:30 AM
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Should there come a day on which I can say casually of a man, "He has a well-turned ankle," or "Really nice thighs on him"...and no one bats an eye

That day came and went. In the early 19th century men were complemented on their calves and padded their stockings if their legs were a bit skinny.

I was reading a (not very good) biography of George Brummell, and apparently the point of the skin tight pantaloons that were fashionable in the Regency was that the men went commando and their pants were cut to highlight their junk. Things you don't learn by reading Georgette Heyer.

This was apparently the origin of the thing about "dressing to the right (or left)". Taylors had to cut the things slightly asymmetrically because they were so tight.


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 3:06 AM
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353: You know what causes lunacy? Two bottles of decent champagne plue two bottles of cheap wine divided by two middle-aged women. Also, causes nest day headaches. Ow.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 4:29 AM
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Practically everything leaves me totally cold.

Dude, you live in Minnesota.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 6:02 AM
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355: That sounds likely to cause unpleasant feelings.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 7:22 AM
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Was it cold for you too?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 7:29 AM
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Nest day? Is that the aftermath of hen night?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 7:40 AM
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357 to 356.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 7:47 AM
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Ah the snow is pretty. Hope it is significant in duration and accumulation.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 7:47 AM
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And I know it means nothing to most of you snow-jaded people, but we have six inches on the ground right now, for the first time in many years. So pretty! And the kids are just thrilled.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 7:48 AM
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Did the big storm in December reach you all, apo? It was the first snow I've had since 2000, so I really enjoyed it. I could definitely deal with another big pile.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 7:51 AM
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Only an afternoon flurry, and it was all gone by the next morning.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 7:57 AM
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I got six inches on the ground. Ain't snowy, though.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 8:00 AM
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365: It is so important to use conditioner. Crotch dandruff is so Irvine Welsh.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 8:08 AM
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Things you don't learn by reading Georgette Heyer.

One thing you do learn by reading Georgette Heyer is that a man of a certain size might wear a girdle to keep everything in place.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 9:39 AM
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I'm delighted that we've gotten about five inches of snow. I'm not delighted that it's showing no sign of letting up all day long. We already had one 20" snowfall this winter, and boy is Virginia poorly equipped to deal with it.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 10:19 AM
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I just got back from driving from Arlington to Silver Spring and back, via DC. They are not treating the roads very well. Not much snow yet, but it is packed down into ice in most places. 1st and 2nd gear all the way.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 10:57 AM
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We're not getting snow until tomorrow. I think it's coming straight from the Pacific, rather than up from the desert, which would be a good change.

This business of people who don't want it getting all the snow, and the people who really do want/need it not getting hardly any, is way out of hand.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 11:08 AM
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Radar says I was wrong about that. Shit.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-30-10 11:15 AM
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parsimon: this is where I found the male-gaze-silences assertion:

http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2010/01/how_sexual_objectification_silences_women_-_the_male_glance.php


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 01-31-10 9:18 PM
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parsimon, 310:

This is the reference to the study on gaze:

http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2010/01/how_sexual_objectification_silences_women_-_the_male_glance.php


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 02- 1-10 12:16 AM
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Interesting read, clew. Thanks.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02- 1-10 7:09 AM
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I wouldnt mind being a piece of meat, but you'd have to appreciate fatty meat.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 02- 1-10 7:43 AM
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oh, and we have snow!! Lots and lots of snow!


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 02- 1-10 7:44 AM
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368: Would you say that the snow has frightened old Virginny till she trembled through and through?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 02- 1-10 7:55 AM
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you'd have to appreciate fatty meat

What Will meant to say was, "I'm perfectly marbled, laydeez."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 1-10 7:57 AM
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375: The linked article said you'd say that.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02- 1-10 7:59 AM
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