Don't ask my child to forgive you for standing idly by, while he was in trouble in his mother's womb,
for he will,
but He may not.
Fuck you Bruce.
Also:
"About 50% of pregnancies are unplanned. "If you drink, don't have sex. If you have sex, don't drink. "
Jesus fucking christ.
2: Then it goes on to say, "Most girls are 2 to 3 months pregnant before they find out and the baby may well have been to many parties before the pregnancy is confirmed."
So seriously, if you've ever had sex, or ever plan to have sex, don't drink any alcohol, ever.
Also:
Break a raw egg (without breaking the yolk) into a clear glass. Add a 1 ounce shot glass of alcohol. With a swizzle stick, gently stir some of the alcohol into the egg white. Watch the effects on the egg white. White streaks will form in the clear portion. Alcohol literally cooks the cells. "Here is your baby's brain on alcohol"
You can also cook fish in lime juice. What you do with that information is up to you.
You can cook ham in salt!
Don't brine your baby! If you ever plan to have sex, avoid potato chips.
The phrase "Don't brine your baby!" has me in stitches. Please let this be a PSA someday.
6: Smoke curing's still okay though, right?
But I have to ask, heebie. Are you pregnant again and just looking for our permission to get wasted?
If you have sex, don't drink.
Wait, there are people who have sex sober?
9: Well, sure, they're called Mormons.
11: Oh, I thought 10 was the answer to 9.
Smoke curing's still okay though, right?
Just wait until your baby's skin is tacky.
On the OP, there needs to be a term, analagous with regulatory capture, for good faith harm-reduction-oriented advocacy programs that get captured by maximalist prohibitionists because they have generally aligned goals. Cf. MADD, drug education, sex ed.
This is particularly interesting case, because it attracts both the anti-sex zealots and the temperance league types.
Hey, there's a lot of slander about the temperance movements. They were an important force for getting women the vote, and for pointing out the societal effects of alcoholism.
It is probably bad that the mpore btocked I get the more I want to defend temnperance.
With a swizzle stick, gently stir some of the alcohol into the egg white. Watch the effects on the egg white. White streaks will form in the clear portion. Alcohol literally cooks the cells.
No it doesn't, you idiot, because there aren't any cells in egg white.
About 50% of pregnancies are unplanned.
Good grief. Instinctively I find this difficult to believe and suspect it relies on a weird definition of "planned".
there needs to be a term, analogous with regulatory capture, for good faith harm-reduction-oriented advocacy programs that get captured by maximalist prohibitionists because they have generally aligned goals.
"Religion".
The alcohol/pregnancy hysteria drives me nuts. When Mrs. Dash was pregnant, our midwife told us, "Look, there's really no evidence that moderate drinking harms a fetus, so don't worry." Of course, she still didn't drink in public when visibly pregnant because of the dirty looks.
Dan Savage's book "The Kid" has a section on FAS panic.
14: Sexism. See also "Breast is best!" and "no soft cheeses!"
re: 21
Yeah, I did a double take recently when I saw a friend's heavily pregnant partner drink a big glass of red wine. Even though I know it's absolutely fine* it's so unusual to see pregnant women drinking these days precisely because of the hysteria.
* and the partner has a medical research/science background, so I'm absolutely confident if anyone had challenged her on it she'd have started citing papers.
You're so intolerant, apo. Did your mom drink while you were in the womb? Oh, wait, you're from North Carolina. I bet she smoked. That would explain everything.
I think it's more than just religion-- the temperance movement in the US, and indeed its descendants, the insane zoning laws that lead to drinking+driving are popular with religious people, but not limited to them. Joseph Gusfield wrote about this, I liked http://books.google.com/books?id=vKf6MkWMdaQC
a lot.
One thing that he doesn't dwell on much is the really heavy per-capita alcohol intake in the US at the turn of the (19th) century, though.
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:William_Hogarth_-_Gin_Lane.jpg I guess.
26: what I meant was that "well-intentioned and basically harmless or beneficial movement that gets captured by apparently aligned extremists who just want to run everyone's lives" is a pretty good description of a lot of religions.
I've described the anti-smoking movement as having moved from the realm of public health campaign to religious crusade. Even as a former smoker, I stand by that. I'd include parts of the breastfeeding and anti-circumcision crowds under that definition as well.
Christ, is there a form of child mutilation that Apo's not in favor of? Think of the years of therapy they'll need from having a smoking father who cut off their foreskins.
Christ, is there a form of child mutilation that Apo's not in favor of?
I left their tails on, like a proper southerner.
its descendants, the insane zoning laws that lead to drinking+driving
I didn't know that zoning laws were a product of the blue-ribbon brigade. Insane they are, though. (Also because you can't walk to the shops.)
re: 28
People's attitudes to smoking are certainly often behaviourally very similar to religious taboo.
gswift, I infer, is neither Muslim nor Jewish.
32: this is true. I am averse to smoking and to the Catholic and Orthodox Churches for the same reason - they smell terrible.
gswift, I infer, is neither Muslim nor Jewish
Nope, but I'm joking around. I'm pretty sure that men talking about circumcision as a source of emotional distress and depression is a sign of society in decay or something.
Some of my buddies smoke cigars and/or pipes. Man do those smell good.
I remember being shown an informational video on FAS in high school. It was filled with the sort of hysteria one might expect: one drink can do it! etc. It also showed these children with massive cognitive deficits doing things like trying to put mittens on like a hat. (Poor Johnny knows this is something he needs to put on when it's cold outside; he just can't tell which thing it is.) At the film's conclusion the teacher had to intervene when the entire class proceeded to look around the room to identify likely sufferers (oh yes, the film had also included a checklist of physical traits by which to identify FAS children).
Old cigar smoke is pretty foul, though. And incense is bad at any time.
And incense is bad at any time.
I really like church incense.
Unpleasant hysteria, yes. But a real relief after the whole satanic ritual abuse scare we had to live through before. There really is no limit to the stupidity of people in groups.
I think the cigars that caught my attention were these.
http://www.cigarsinternational.com/prodDisp.asp?item=CS-TEB&cat=3
They smelled fantastic.
40: Don't forget the crack babies who barked like dogs and were barely recognizable as human.
re: 38
Yeah, even though I'm mostly an ex-smoker, I do find the smell of really stale tobacco quite unpleasant, and it's not nice to be eating in a very smoky environment. But a lot of people treat the possibility that a few molecules of second hand smoke might be in their vicinity as tantamount to physical assault.
But a real relief after the whole satanic ritual abuse scare we had to live through before.
1. I think here someone linked to the Wiki page, and I was stunned to find hundreds of people who had been baselessly accused in that panic. I knew it was a witch-hunt, but I had no idea how big.
2. But, wow, that sickening doctor who got arrested the other day? Holy shit.
FASD is weird and not totally at all fully understood, though I can understand why people raising kids with major disabilities do push for serious temperance regulations/expectations even though I don't think I'd do the same. To me, the oddest tidbit is that it's very rare for a woman's first child to be severely affected even if she drinks as much during all pregnancies. Everyone agrees that drinking while very pregnant is (almost certainly) less potentially problematic than drinking in early pregnancy, and yet that's where the social stigma really comes in.
I don't believe it's possible for someone who's never been exposed to alcohol in utero to have FAS, though diagnoses can be made when information about prenatal drinking isn't available (especially in international adoption situations). Despite all the bad press that "crack babies" got, I'd much prefer to parent a child who'd was tested positive for drugs at birth than one with diagnosed FASD. Kids in foster care often aren't diagnosed with FASD, though, even in situations where they very clearly have the characteristic facial features.
Personally, I stay pro-choice even for women with mental disabilities, even for women who choose to (or didn't think about or weren't able to stop themselves, whatever) drink or use drugs during pregnancy, etc. So far in considering parenting the children of people who fit those categories I've never had any trouble finding empathy for them, but maybe if I were dealing with the day-to-day behaviors and limitations of a child with FASD I'd lose that perspective. I don't want to make it sound like I'm better than anyone else.
Thre's an amusing contrast between books intended for future parents in general, and future parents who intend to adopt. Pre-adoption books stress various studies which find that drinking, smoking, and failing to play classical music to your belly during pregnancy are unlikely to make any difference at all to your child's life. Even pre-natal malnutrition, if not too extreme, is almost always irrelevant to the kid's future life. Books for those trying to get pregnant stress different studies which show how much you can improve your progeny's chances by taking simple steps like eating right, quitting smoking and drinking and getting special belly attachments for your Ipod make all the difference in the world.
The two most contradictory books my wife and I read in the pre-adoption phase of our lives had the same publisher and partially overlapping co-authors.
FWIW, our son was very likely exposed to alcohol in the womb and does not exhibit FAS. On the other hand, my mother smoked during pregnancy and I am asthmatic.
44: What was so sickening about this doctor?
47: molested over 100 children and videotaped himself, so no Satanic panic here!
I really like church incense.
Now you can get that freshly-absolved feeling at home.
It's so weird when you're forced to think "Thank god psychos like to videotape this shit".
I'd like to see a study and correlates one's exposure to alcohol in the womb with one's ability to hold one's liquor later in life. Does early exposure build a tolerance?
53: Maybe. My mother was actually told to go home, put her feet up, and drink gin when she started hemorrhaging while pregnant with me. (After a day or two, she called the doctor and said "Does it actually have to be gin? I really don't like it," and was told that whiskey was fine.) I had a spectacular alcohol tolerance as a skinny teen -- I could put away liquor all night and be the last one standing at four am stacking bodies on the couches and mopping up vomit (I'd be drunk, of course, but functional).
OTOH, now and since my late twenties, I've lost it -- on my third drink now I'm both goofy and sleepy.
"It's the scent of gothic cathedrals and Papal palaces, of tapestries imbued with centuries of incense. Of cold marble steps, holy relics and dark confessions."
Shit. Now I really want that.
54: Your special powers were stolen by your children.
Medical science was terribly advanced in the early seventies.
55: It's gorgeous -- especially on boys, but I wear it, too.
57: Nowadays you'd need a prescription for lab grade ethanol, costing $94 per one ounce dose (that's for the brand name Dammitol stuff; you can get generic for $52 per ounce).
58: Is your prediliction the converse of perving on Catholic school girls in uniform?
60: It smells like really old buildings! And high mass! Not like creepy football coaches!
It smells like really old buildings!
Like mildew?
55: It almost makes me want to take up wearing cologne. Almost.
It smells like really old buildings
*Really* old buildings smell with their porticoes.
63: I wear this, too. And that sometimes smells like MOLE. (But other times like peppery roses -- it's complicated.)
I think we need to write to Ask Axe Cop and inquire what Axe Cop would do to combat MOLE.
And by "we" I mean apostropher, of course.
67: Do you people tell you that you smell "interesting"?Or that they like your smell, but they wouldn't want to smell it everyday?
Also, while much incense really does honk, I do like the scent of sandalwood.
Or Axe Ask Cop as Obama might say.
"You smell great, oudemia, but there's no need to sprawl yourself all over my tablecloth in order for me to appreciate that scent."
It's been interesting to watch the changing social context in which some of my peers have gotten pregnant. Almost everyone hews to the "don't tell anyone before the [fourth? whatever] month" rule nowadays, but you generally get the informal notification when you see a woman at a party and she's not drinking even her one customary glass of wine.
We had to watch FAS videos in HS too, and even then I was telling my not-skeptical-enough classmates "it can't really be like that, or half of us would be suffering from FAS".
Furthermore, when the whole Scott County ritual sexual abuse case was unfolding, when I was in 4th grade or whatever, even then I was saying to people "look, do you really think that many people could have been involved for so long and nobody heard about it until now?"
I was an extremely skeptical youth.
It's safest not to tell anyone before the fourth trimester. Follow the Sarah Palin policy.
Natilo, I forget how old you are if I ever knew, but I assume you were like me at age 11 arguing against the first war in Iraq because it was so obviously about oil and propaganda (which is, in fact, the perfume I favor) and I couldn't see why all the other kids were fooled. I was also bitter about not being allowed to see the controversial Mapplethorpe exhibit when I was 10. Needless to say, I didn't have a lot of friends. But who needs friends when you have skepticism and principles?
74.1: Yeah, that makes not telling people annoying -- I did a certain amount of 'not actually lying' when people busted me not drinking with Sally and asked if I were pregnant. ("I have finals tomorrow, and want to be in good shape for them." True, but not complete.)
oil and propaganda (which is, in fact, the perfume I favor)
Then for you I would recommend this perhaps layered with this.
Similarly, I got put on limited activity and thus had to drop out of soccer very early on, and everyone wanted to know why, when the pregnancy was actually looking like it might fall apart.
78: I've heard really good things about Tar. In reality, I'm too cheap to wear nice scents. Today I have on this.
Thorn is also wearing the outfit in that link, so she can't be that cheap.
76: I'm as old as my tongue, and a little bit older than my teeth.
But seriously, I need to do some research, because I'm pretty sure the 20th anniversary of my first demonstration (attended, not organized) is coming in October or maybe September. I'm going to throw a big party to celebrate. I was a sophomore in HS then. (And being anti-war at my HS was not enough to really mark me out. Going to school with the scions of SW Mpls ex-hippy liberalism, anti-war was pretty much the hegemonic view. I don't think there was any significant pro-war feeling, certainly not from the staff and faculty, maybe a few hardhat types in the student body.)
I did a bunch of fake drinking where I would take tiny sips and get Snark to drink half my glass when no one was looking.
74: I was an extremely skeptical youth.
Me too. Then I got to see the John Walsh, Satanic Abuse, Crack Baby, FAS, and Second/Third Hand Smoke syndromes all kick in. Did I miss any?
I'm thinking humans need a certain amount of kiddie anxiety and if they don't get it they manufacture it. All this insanity is the fault of the Salk and Sabin polio immunizations.
humans need a certain amount of kiddie anxiety
God, the endless contraptions they sell to "childproof" your house just amaze me. Latch your toilet seats or they'll fall in and drown! Pad everything with a corner!
Why not just put your kid in a big plastic bubble and be done with it?
Why not just put your kid in a big plastic bubble and be done with it?
And subject them to Trace Hydrocarbonised Oxygen Syndrome aka Sick Bubble Syndrome? Never!
But who needs friends when you have skepticism and principles?
New mouseover!
85: The fun part is my friends' twins are not quite two and have more or less destroyed every last childproofing device in that house.
God, the endless contraptions they sell to "childproof" your house just amaze me.
I don't know what you're talking about, Apo.
89: The awesome thing about twins (or kids of similar age raised together) is that they start cooperating in complicated ways at a really early age. I've seen preverbal twins do things as complicated as help each other up onto the dining table by having one of them serve as a step and then pulling the other twin up - first onto a chair, then onto the table. The destructive potential is enormously greater than that of a single child.
I tried to childproof my house, but the little vermin kept getting in anyhow.
||
A student has turned in an assignment where she asks the question "Do you believe in Evil?" Now I am stuck singing the question to the tune of "Do you believe in magic?"
"Do you believe in evil
In a young girl's heart?"
|>
re: 93
I think 2000 years of Biblical tradition, and the Exorcist has taught us that if we are going to find it anywhere, we're going to find it there ...
"Then I saw her heart
Now I'm a believer"
93, 94: Junior high school is also a source of supporting evidence.
97: Then serve it with low hanging fruit.
It seems to be a Hollywood cliche that little girls are much creepier than boys of the same age. Wednesday Addams, The Exorcist, Poltergeist etc.
re: 99
I can only speak from direct experience. Hollywood is amazingly accurate!
High school protesting of the Gulf War followed by a decade of being told I was stupid for opposing such an easy war, followed by a disastrous second Gulf war, has left me feeling a weird combination of vindicated, pissed off, and of the opinion that protesting war really doesn't make a damn bit of difference in this day and age.
I'll see your Webster and raise you one Punky Brewster.
99: Was there a creepy girl in Poltergeist?
There were those creepy twins in The Shining.
105: Geez, no need to go nuclear, apo.
Relevant and terrifying. The religious right really hates women.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/25152449@N06/2459021328/
106: yes, she used to stay up late at night watching the TV after the station had gone off the air and talking to the things behind the screen. "They're coming!" Remember?
Damian, yes, but how many others?
112: I never considered her creepy, but perhaps I'm just made of sterner stuff than you.
112: she made friends with the invisible furniture-stacking ghosts that lived in the TV and you don't think she's creepy? Truly, you are a m/n of ir/n.
113: I thought her friendmaking skills were sweet and touching.
Damian, yes, but how many others?
"The Good Son", "Godsend", "Children of the Corn", "Village of the Damned", "It's a Good Life"
109: " Penalties range up to life in prison."
Hecklerspray's list is 6-4 boys, but the girl entries (as with all of these lists) include The Shining twins and the skipping girls from Nightmare on Elm Street, so adjust your counts as you see fit.
UGO has it 6-5 girls, and Blockbuster is 7 girls, 4 boys, and 2 mixed, but gets bonus points for correctly identifying the Olsen Twins as the #1 creepy little kids in film.
The little boy in The Sixth Sense isn't creepy, he's gloomy. He's like the little boy in The Ring.
||
I'm overhearing (despite my best efforts to tune them out) two strangers who've started talking and are bonding over vibrations and shifting the physical world with said vibrations and "belief filters" and an "overall mission to create enlightened planetary civilizations."
Plz maik thm stop.
|>
|| Here, folks are watching the Bitterroot horse case, in which the defendants have invoked the dumb Southerner defense. |>
122: I first read that as "bonding over vibrators" which I think would be a much more interesting conversation to listen to.
The phrase "Don't brine your baby!" has me in stitches.
Me too.
Please let this be a PSA someday.
Starring Hal Linden, preferably. (Anyone else remember those "FYI" bits he did?)
122: Further eavesdropping and googling reveals that she is prostelytizing on behalf of a Scientology-inispired crackpot named Harry Palmer and his Avatar self-development system. The man she's talking with appears to be the perfect recruit.
She scouted around the coffeeshop looking for a seat -- I wonder if spotted something that marked him as a potential recruit or it's just a coincidence. If there were such a thing as a coincidence, I mean.
126: Ugh. One more reason to be glad you're no longer married to UNG.
His vibes called her in, SK. That's why the seat across from him was empty in the first place.
I don't know, I kinda miss the entertainment aspect of her various antics.
Starring Hal Linden, preferably. (Anyone else remember those "FYI" bits he did?)
Oh, wow, yes. I particularly remember them running in between General Hospital and Edge of Night.
You know, it's funny, given that I work at DFH Central, that I don't overhear more vibration conversations. There are a significant number of horoscope-watchers here, but there are also people who make fun of horoscopes, and people who go to pagan rituals, and people who hate religion. Much more heterogenous than conventional wisdom would lead you to expect.
Don't be silly, Natilo. Everybody knows that vibes don't exist.
Percussion instruments in general are an elaborate fraud.
134: A ruse devised to convince people that anything could possibly happen right down to their toes!
Who knows what the point of the ploy might be.
Throwaway lines need a point now? Goodness gracious.
135: Here's the part I don't get: "The orca had been involved in two previous deaths, including one at the water park in 1999."
WTF? How do they manage to get insurance? This incident has "gigantic wrongful death settlement" written all over it.
137: What? Who was talking about a throwaway line? I was thinking about drumming circles.
Meanwhile, I'd forgotten about the health care summit.
138 -- Yes. Also, the Orca's name sounds surprisingly close to "To Kill 'Em," so there's that.
138: Never underestimate the power of Big Orca.
"The orca had been involved in two previous deaths, including one at the water park in 1999."
Big whoop. I could take him down with one turntable tied behind my back.
139: Were you supposed to attend?
Otherwise, you might as well forget about it again.
140: First there's story about a pole dancing association lead by a Pole named Ms. Flatchestowski, and now there's a death-by-orca story featuring an orca name of "To Kill 'Em"? Somebody's f&*king with us.
143: I think that was just a throwaway line.
Never underestimate the power of Big Orca.
WE ARE NOT IMPRESSED
Big Okra's power has really gone to seed.
Probably due to the slimy tactics they employ.
YOU'LL ROUX THE DAY YOU CROSSED US, M/LLS.
Anyhow, Big Okra will eventually just get swallowed by Big Oprah.
Big Okra is run like a cult. If you talk to one of them it's like you're talking to a pod person.
Big Oprah's influence is covered up by Big Burka.
152: Not to mention drowned out by Big Opera.
156: I'll need a falsifiable premise if we are to proceed.
157: I love it when you call me Big Poppa.
There are no direct google hits for "I love it when you call me Karl Popper", but the first thing that shows up is something from the Valve.
First hit for me is "Karl Popper, metabolic advantage and the C57BL/6 mouse" at proteinpower.com.
"This is the first time in 46 years that we've ever had an incident like this with a trainer," he said. Although Tillikum is large and has to be handled carefully, "to mark him as a killer is unfair."
Dude, it's a killer whale. One that has been involved in the deaths of the three people, but more importantly, a killer whale.
161: We prefer the term "differently-lethal", racist.
It's unfair to label me a snapper.
164: How 'bout if we label you "Tor"? Or maybe "Tuga"?
Just don't label me late for dinner.
My enthusiasm for Axe Cop has waned somewhat on reading the illustrator's whinging apology for his previous Jesus-with-a-machine-gun comic. Mostly because the basic thrust of it was "I'm a Christian, and as all Christians know, making fun of Jesus is REALLY REALLY BAD". All Fake Christians, maybe.
Apology!? But Jesus of the Gun was great.
It's linked to on the Axe Cop FAQ page at the bottom. Machine-Gun Toting Christ, why have we forsaken you?
I'm still kind of marvelling at the poem I quoted in 1. "My child will forgive you, but God may not."
I kinda want to write the guy to let him know that apparently his god is a total dick and maybe he should be shopping around for a better one.
And that's the difference between God and my child.
172: A reverse on that Lyle Lovett (?) song that says something like Jesus may forgive you, but I won't. Does anybody know what song I'm talking about? Because I don't.
on preview -- is 174 referring to that song?
171: I'm not seeing an Axe Cop FAQ page. Link?
175:Who keeps on trusting you
When you been cheating
Spending your nights on the town
Who keeps on saying
That he still wants you
When you're through runnin' around
Who keeps on lovin' you
When you been lyin'
Sayin' things that ain't what they seem
Well God does
But I don't
God will
But I won't
And that's the difference
Between God and me
177: Thanks M/tch! Funny how when a Christian says "God" as a Jew I assume they said "Jesus".
Also nothing about forgiving in the song either.
Alternate explanation -- I'm old and senile.
So who says he'll forgive you
And says that he'll miss you
And dream of your sweet memory
God does
But I don't
God will
But I won't
And that's the difference
Between God and me
Also nothing about forgiving in the song either.
Second verse:
So who says he'll forgive you
And says that he'll miss you
And dream of your sweet memory
God does
But I don't
God will
But I won't
And that's the difference
Between God and me
God never gets pwnd. And that's the difference between God and me.
What a great song! I will learn it immediately!
182: I kind of figured it was already your anthem. It should at least become your go-to Unfogged Karaoke song.
Had I only known about it... I can't listen to it until I get home, but the lyrics are great.
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=6285523&blogId=476404166
Too lazy to htmlify it.
161: It's not just the orcas, it's trees too now.
http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/25/person-killed-by-falling-tree-in-central-park/
186: Oooh, I bet the terrorists planted it!
Oh god I'm so hungry. I feel like Brock must feel when he's eying a moldy loaf of bread, or massaging his tapeworm, or something.
135: Here's the part I don't get: "The orca had been involved in two previous deaths, including one at the water park in 1999."
Next we'll hear it "accidentally" killed its brother 20 years ago.
||
Rant.
If health care reform doesn't go through, I will be very, very pissed off. I cannot continue to pay amounts nearing the amount of my fucking housing costs, with no sign of the cost stabilizing. A 40% increase this past year is no joke; Anthem customers in California are not, I'm sure, feeling wan and dismissive about their projected increases, either.
The fact that the other-employed (as contrasted with the self-employed) do not bear the full cost of their health insurance has begun to bug me to no end. How much do you other-employed people pay monthly for health insurance premiums? One suspects that you have no idea what your health insurance actually costs (though one is not sure). To what extent would public outcry change if the other-employed were to pay the full cost of their health insurance plans?
The pressure is toward abandoning self-employment as unsupportable for health insurance reasons. That really pisses me off.
/rant
|>
I first read that as "bonding over vibrators" which I think would be a much more interesting conversation to listen to.
Downtown train during rush hour this evening, sitting next to a fiftyish working class looking blonde. I briefly glance up and my eye catches Polish text, I read a bit and it's a hardcore sex scene. Look back down to my Times. A few minutes later I hear her giggling and pointing out the text to her neighbour. The other woman laughs and says, 'god I could use some nice head today' (using the Polish slang term for the female equivalent of getting a blow job), the first one agrees. Amazing how much more people are willing to say when they assume nobody can understand them. I played with the idea of pulling out a Polish language book from my backpack, but figured that would be a bit mean.
||
Ski-jumping with nothing but close-ups on the jumpers.
I remember we used to be able to actually see them fly, how far above the ground, and how much distance they covered.
Fuck television. Fuck the present age. This is psychotic.
|>
People should not take my outburst at 190 as a reason to become quiet, if they are doing so. I needed to do it, but the joint should carry on.
191: Unfogged lexicographic challenge of the day: Why was terez not immediately able to think of a female-specific equivalent phrase in English?
(Hypothesis: The answer will not be specific to him.)
The pressure is toward abandoning self-employment
Or getting married. Seriously, I'm just stunned at the number of people that I know -- personally or by Internet -- for whom that was a (not the, but a) significant factor in deciding to tie the knot. Particularly with regard to timing and circumstances, not so much one's intended. Although I have my doubts in a couple of cases.
eHealthyimmigrationharmony.com, for those who need health insurance and the Canadians and Europeans who love them need green cards.
Further to 194, I'd like to know the most direct, unidiomatic translation of the expression the woman used.
192: You should have watched the women's hockey, Bob. Not so much with the closeups there.
(Canadian women's hockey team: yay!).
197: What if he tells you and it's so gross you can never do it again?
Women can/do say "get head" in English.
What if he tells me and it's gross enough to make me start?
Or you won't be able to stop laughing, or the very thought of performing oral sex makes all your limbs wiggle independently?
I'm not sure I want to know.
200 yes, but I don't know of a noun that is the female equivalent of 'blow job'. Witt? The Polish term is 'minetka', not sure of its original meaning, but in French 'minette' means kitty, and so 'minetka' could just be a diminutive of that. The current most popular Polish word for blow job is 'lody' i.e. ice cream. I've heard that some of the more sedate dating sites have banned mentions of ice cream from the favorite foods sections of the ads. While we're on the topic of multilingual head, has anyone else ever thought that the French use of chop/whittle as the verb that goes with blow job is a bit off-putting?
so a man gets an ice cream and a woman gets a kitten?
That's awful cute.
173
When God gives you lemons, get a new God.
198:Not into hockey, but did catch the bobsleigh last night, and following curling obsessively.
Yay Canada indeed!
I've mentioned it before, no doubt, but the Chilean slang for to dry jump is blujeanear (that is, roughly, "to blue jean").
Felicitous typo!
Alternate explanation: Chilean sex is very interesting and innovative. It always involves foam and a Frank Gehry building.
As academics, many of us are well practiced at humping through jupes.
just another reason i am rather shocked that people actually birth unplanned pregnancies. like people actually believe that shit about trusting in fate.
208: That's what got this guy in trouble.
191: Didn't nattarGcM have almost the same story with Czech substituted for Polish? That sort of thing must happen all the time.
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Is it weird that I get resentful when the NYT uses headlines like "Blizzard Hammers Northeast" and Boston hasn't seen the first flake of snow?
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Is it weird that I read the story about the man killed by a falling tree limb in Central Park and was immediately concerned about the tree?
(It was an American Elm, one of the few remaining stands of that species after an exotic beetle infestation that wiped out many of the older specimens in the NE. The story is that the Central Park staff mounted a 24-hour watch on this little American Elm enclave. It just seems so heroic! Still, I feel like a sociopath for thinking of the trees rather than the poor pedestrian.)
That sort of thing must happen all the time.
And in much more widely spoken languages. An acquaintance once spent lunch listening to two women in the restaurant discussing the size of his ears in French. On the way out he stopped at their table and said "Mais je les meurs.", giving them a good waggle. And walked out.
214: You want the New York Times to start using "*****SPOILER ALERT******" for their weather stories?
215. After the man was killed, did the tree make a sound?
re: 213
Yes, I heard a girl on the phone on a bus one night, engaged in sexual talk (in Czech). I could only understand snippets, but my wife could understand the lot.
I quite often understand little bits of Slavic languages when I hear them spoken out and about, but it's only little chunks swimming up out of a sea of incomprehension.
217: no! I want it to snow! We got nothin' but rain. That other giant storm? We got nothin'. It's snowed like 2.5 inches all month.
216: I don't understand what "meur" means in that context. But anyways, he should have said "vous devriez voir la taille de mon pénis."
I am so (*&#$&*(^@!! pissed off about this blizzard. I have a pro se plaintiff who's been refusing to comply with discovery for two years now. She ignored the judge's last order to answer my interrogatories, and her deposition is scheduled for today by court order. I was hoping she was going to flake out -- that'd probably be the last straw that would get her case dismissed for failure to meet discovery obligations. Now I'm sure she's going to flake out, but the judge will forgive her because of the snow.
Hopefully she'll flake out without calling to cancel, and the judge will screw her over for that.
See? And me, I would love a little snow! We'll take it!*
* Offer not be valid if at some point in the future I decide I'm sick of it snowing.
Sorry that should be "Offer ain't be valid"
224: Wrong! "Aint" only takes an apostrophe if it's possessive.
226: Ain't none of your business, heebie.
226: A perfumed young woman in Louisville, KY.
Aren't we supposed to get some sort of hype before I wake up to find a good foot of snow covering my windows? We've had two huge media snowstorms that amounted to nada and a whatever minor thing, now we get the real thing but no SNOMFG build up.
Yesterday I drove home at 6 PM and the roads were almost completely empty, as was the grocery store. Snow was falling but not sticking, as it had been all day. I thought there must have been some dire warning on the TV or radio or something telling people that if they ventured outdoors they would die.
230: You didn't get the Stage 4 French Toast alert?
We've had two huge media snowstorms that amounted to nada and a whatever minor thing, now we get the real thing but no SNOMFG build up.
I'm guessing "whatever minor thing" was when I had over a foot of snow and was trapped at home for two consecutive days. What a difference forty miles makes!
no! I want it to snow!
What is wrong with you? We had a fantastic wind storm, and today I don't have to shovel. This is perfect.
Further to 222: Well, she's twenty minutes late, and hasn't called. At an hour I have the court reporter make a record, and write to the judge about it.
Goddamn snow. Why did it have to hit today?
We got snow, but it didn't fall fast other than one very brief period, and given all the hype, not that much accumulation. Just a run of the mill moderate winter snowfall.
The Daily News website had this headline last night: Snow-covered branch snaps, kills man in Central Park
In NYC, even the trees feel edgy.
There are 8 million branches in the snow-covered city.
"Neighbors said that prior to the incident the branch was quiet and generally kept to itself."
Further to 235 (yes, I know everyone's fascinated): In a surprise twist, I phoned the witness at about 10:50, asking if she was planning to show up. She told me that she was unaware of the deposition, because she hadn't had time to check her mail since January sometime.
Pro se plaintiffs. Gotta love them.
I've got your sociopath right here.
241: Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when a snow-covered branch snaps off a tree and falls on you and kills you.
240: So you suggested a nice walk in the park?
243: Actually, I'm delighted. She's disobeyed enough court orders that I think this may be the one that gets her case dismissed for failure to comply with discovery obligations.
I think the link in 241 should actually point here. Christ what an asshole.
You'd think that if you went a month without having enough time to check your mail, you'd consider hiring a lawyer to do some work for you.
What is wrong with you? We had a fantastic wind storm, and today I don't have to shovel. This is perfect.
A woman after my own heart.
From the link in 245:
Unsurprisingly, Bunning couldn't care less about any of it: "I have missed the Kentucky-South Carolina game that started at 9:00 and it's the only redeeming chance we had to beat South Carolina since they're the only team that has beat Kentucky this year," he said on the Senate floor.
This is such a very Kentuckian thing to say.
So apparently they can shut Bunning down if they just get a quorum, but everyone is in their home districts.
Would it improve government if they let Senators vote with their Blackberries?
He's such an ass, and from my hometown. I'm hoping they can manage not to replace him with someone worse, since that hardly seems possible, but it is Kentucky.
43: I am sort of one of them. I start to hack around cigarette smoke. In a very smoky house, I had to open the windows to avoid coughing.
Or getting married.
I'm not married, but I moved in with my boyfriend and went on his company's plan. Even paying taxes on the benefit, it's cheaper and more generous than the one I get.
And hey, he's a Canadian who would like a green card some day!
