Re: Daily annoyance

1

You are missing a whole word ("people?" "assholes?") and a "c" in "sanctimonious." Also the topic is wrong (should be "Space Elevator") and the font of ugly and the portions are too small.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 7:34 AM
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-of
+is

Dammit.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 7:34 AM
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I changed the portions for you.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 7:36 AM
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3: You are the greatest!


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 7:39 AM
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Also the linked thread is infuriating. FFS, people!


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 7:41 AM
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You know, she wouldn't have this problem if she had a PC.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 7:58 AM
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6: Right, PCs never touch Mac keyboards.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 8:19 AM
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People love to tell other people that they're raising their kids wrong. Much commenting invective, in this case in response to some admittedly crazy NYC entitlement (A $32 plate of spaghetti with butter at L'Atelier de Joel Robuchon is an excellent choice for your toddler!), here.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 8:22 AM
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8 was I.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 8:26 AM
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What these people don't understand is that computers make far better babysitters than TVs.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 8:41 AM
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she wouldn't have this problem if she had a PC.

She wouldn't have this problem with a desktop Mac because she could unplug the keyboard.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 8:43 AM
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font of ugly

Right next to the font of eternal youth. Don't get them mixed up!


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 8:47 AM
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Wow. Sanctimonious assholes.

I'd actually like a solution to the problem described in the link.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 8:55 AM
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I'd actually like a solution to the problem described in the link.

Maybe Gramercey Tavern instead? "Meatballs ($18), bacon-and-cheddar biscuits ($4), mushroom lasagna ($10 for half portion) and smoked kielbasa ($10 for half portion)."


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 8:59 AM
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I'd actually like a solution to the problem described in the link.

Chain the twins to the radiator.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:01 AM
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I'd actually like a solution to the problem described in the link.

Kill yourself. Obviously there could be no worse parent than you.


Posted by: Mac-Forums | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:03 AM
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14: Who likes only a half portion of smoked kielbasa?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:04 AM
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I'd actually like a solution to the problem described in the link.

Me too! The keyboard cleaner link seems like it could work okay.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:05 AM
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8: I kind of loved the insanity of that article. My dad worked at/for fancy restaurants when I was a kid, and I ate a lot of special orders of spaghetti with butter (and potatoes, if you've got 'em!) sitting at the bar.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:07 AM
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17: Maybe?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:07 AM
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The best thing about that link is the man telling stories of his awesome performative NO! saying. He cured the biting problem of his female friend's child! With his single, awesome, masculine NO! quite unlike those wimpy girly noes.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:11 AM
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20 is the first evidence I have found that while being logged on to Facebook I am also logged on to other sites against my will. Not a fan.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:12 AM
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I also like the people who ask if the parent would use the same logic with a hot stove. Huh? Would you? Would you find some sort of way to make the stove cold in order to appease your little tyrant? Monster. Monster-raiser.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:14 AM
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Several of those people seem unaware of the differences between children and dogs.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:16 AM
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[The waiter] was amused, not annoyed, by Meenakshi's game of dropping her plastic cutlery on the floor more than a dozen times so he could pick it up.

Oh my god! This writer needs such a slap.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:18 AM
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It's true. I am a monster.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:20 AM
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It's cool that you can hire a stove guard, but in that picture they've already got a plastic shield up so I'm not sure what they're paying that guard to do. Surely stirring the food (as that one appears to be doing) incurs additional charges.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:23 AM
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The most annoying parents are those who's kids are well-behaved, and they imagine it's their doing, rather than luck.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:23 AM
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This writer needs such a slapto be made to wait tables herself for a few days.

Well, actually, that and the slap.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:28 AM
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28: My second and third children disabused me of that delusion but hard.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:28 AM
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25: Yes! That was the worst part of the article, IMO. If parents want to spend that much on their kids, then have at it. But please don't disservice other patrons of the restaurant by making the waitstaff pick up after your kids. I mean, if it happens once, thank them, and make sure they don't have to do it again, unless you have the whole restaurant to yourself and they don't seem to mind. Which, I can't imagine.


Posted by: Molly | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:30 AM
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After seeing the quote in 25 I had to check out the article to see what the writer's name was. It looks like naming her child "Meenakshi" was ethnically appropriate rather than being an affectation, at least.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:34 AM
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was amused, not annoyed

Just like all those 20-year-old waitresses are amused, not annoyed, by 55-year-old men making off-color remarks to them for the entertainment of the rest of the table. Oh, they're just so delightfully randy!

Here, have a seat and I'll explain the concept of working for tips to you.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:34 AM
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21: There is no way I'm going to read that thread, but saying "no" properly is a real thing.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:34 AM
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21: He cured the biting problem of his female friend's child!

I think that the sex of the parent is part of the issue for the bossy nerds. Maybe I'm assuming too much, but the questioner's name seems female to me. Anyway, strangers give my wife unsolicited child-minding advice fairly frequently. One guy yelled at her because our son was playing loudly in a park and this disturbed his studying. Because apparently they put a fucking carousel in the park so the undergrads could study outside. Strangers do do that stuff with me even though I'm far more lax about letting him roam around in public.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:37 AM
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The link in 20 made my day. Thank you, apo.


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:37 AM
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but saying "no" properly is a real thing.

But completely blowhard and unnecessary to bring up when responding to a request for software.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:40 AM
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WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT? SOFTWARE OR CHILDREN? WE INVETERATE COMMENTERS ON APPLE COMPUTER WEBSITES WOULD GLADLY GIVE UP ALL OUR SOFTWARE IF ONLY ONE CHILD COULD BE PARENTED BETTER BY ITS IDIOT PARENT.


Posted by: OPINIONATED MAC FORUM | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:41 AM
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37: No doubt. Responding to my brother's kids, on the other hand....


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:46 AM
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The Facebook interface at the link in 20 has me terrified of the near future when I will click one of apo's links and instantly all my Facebook friends will get an email saying "[essear] likes midget butt-grabbing photos linked by apostropher!"


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:53 AM
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40: Much faster than calling each friend separately to let them know about the midget butt-grabbing interest you have.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 9:57 AM
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I'd actually like a solution to the problem described in the link.

Are you willing to act as if your children are cats?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:00 AM
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The OP at the link is a fucking saint as far as I can tell. I would have blown up very early. She (?) just calmly repeats her question for software like 3 times: "OK. That's parenting advice. But is there software? I'd like to know. Thanks. Yes, it's a process. But in the meantime, software?"


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:05 AM
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She really did handle that well, didn't she?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:14 AM
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45

Blame their mother.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:16 AM
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Ooops, 45 to 30.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:16 AM
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28: Oh, no, really. Rory's awesomeness is all totally my doing.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:18 AM
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44: She showed the same tolerance which is causing her to do such a poor job of raising her child.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:19 AM
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You mean, she should have told them "NO!" in the right tone of voice.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:20 AM
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Creepy out of context: "My kids, one 8 months and the other 3.5 both know that Daddy's laptop is a "NO zone".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:23 AM
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Chain the twins to the radiator each other. They'll take care of each other like the Gingham Dog and the Calico Cat in no time.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:24 AM
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52

Just Say NO To Daddy's Laptop.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:24 AM
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Even pretty creepy in context, if true (which I doubt it is). Anything that successfully teaches an eight month old not to touch something within reach is almost certainly a tactic that I would think of as too harsh.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:25 AM
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That'll learn you little brats.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:28 AM
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53: You don't want Daddy to have to get out Tom Swift's Electric Rifle again, do you sweetie?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:30 AM
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If you comment on Mac forums, do you inherit Steve Jobs' social skills?


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:32 AM
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56: you mean his legendary charisma when giving presentations, or something else?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:35 AM
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53: More likely the 8-month old is kind of short and not terribly mobile, so it's fairly easy to keep a laptop out of reach.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:36 AM
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53: More likely the 8-month old is kind of short and not terribly mobile, so it's fairly easy to keep a laptop out of reach.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:36 AM
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Yeah, I was counting that as 'not true' that the eight-month-old knows it's a no zone.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:37 AM
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I wasn't thinking specifically, just his general reputation for being the biggest pile of shit on two legs.


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:37 AM
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53 - my son seemed to understand "hot" at 6 months and would never touch my tea/the oven/whatever, but that really surprised me. And he still tends to be over-cautious so maybe I scarred him mentally by saying hot.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:41 AM
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Obviously he didn't know what hot meant, but if I said hot, he wouldn't touch the thing. Never worked with the girls.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:42 AM
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He's lost a lot of weight since his ailment, so he's probably only second place at best.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:44 AM
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The comparison to stoves made me suddenly wonder about its relevance. In how many houses is that an issue? It was in the house where I grew up (rural Vermont, heated almost entirely with wood and cooked with it about a quarter or so of the time), but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a problem for a kid in any place I've lived since then. A radiator or similar heating unit is hot, but not so much that a kid could get a dangerous burn from a casual touch. The top of a kitchen stove is about three feet off the ground. By the time a kid can open the oven or reach the top of the stove, I think they already know that overly hot things are uncomfortable and can understand being told that the stovetop is dangerous, right? (Actually, according to this CDC chart, kids reach 36 inches a couple years younger than I would have guessed. Still, though, even a three-year-old isn't a toddler.)

So am I greatly overestimating the knowledge of small children, or is the "kids burning themselves by accident" fear just a relic of earlier generations with different technology and laxer safety standards? And if it is just a relic, then what does that say about people who fall back on that analogy for parenting advice? My ex recto guess is either that they are so old that their kids grew up in earlier conditions, or that they have never had kids or even spend significant amounts of time around them.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:45 AM
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I think my nephew's first word was "hot." He'd toddle over to the stove, point, and say, enthusiastically, "'ot! 'ot!" And then nod, knowingly.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:48 AM
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65: It's not that nuts. Lots of kids are surprisingly good climbers, even fairly young -- getting up on a countertop next to the stove isn't implausible. We, personally, didn't do much childproofing, and the kids made it through without scars, but they plausibly might have gotten to stovetop level quite young if left unattended.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:49 AM
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63: I can't exactly judge him for touching hot girls.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:49 AM
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61: I hadn't heard that, but as regards his social skills specifically I think you've gone for the wrong angle of attack.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:50 AM
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65: So am I greatly overestimating the knowledge of small children, or is the "kids burning themselves by accident" fear just a relic of earlier generations with different technology and laxer safety standards?

Holy shit. No it isn't a relic of earlier generations. A three year old is a toddler. Knowing something is hot and being able to keep that idea in mind at all times are two very different things and it takes the latter to be safe around a stove. And a two year old can get their hands on a stove top (hand can go above heads) or open most ovens.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:51 AM
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If you acclimate a kid by burning them a little bit with a cigarette each day eventually a hot stove won't bother them a bit.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:54 AM
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70
Holy shit. No it isn't a relic of earlier generations.

Fair enough. Like I said, I don't know what I'm talking about. Still seems weird though.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:54 AM
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65/67: our oldest burned himself fairly badly (no scarring, thanks mostly to some prescription burn cream, I think, but a big blistery burn that took months to heal) at around 2, by pushing a kitchen chair over to the stove and climbing up.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:54 AM
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You had chairs in the house with a two-year-old? I am just shocked.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:55 AM
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73: Same with ours, except that it only took a couple of weeks to heal. That fucking blister still gives me nightmares.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:56 AM
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74: We were stupid. I said it was our first child--we didn't know better. We got rid of them all after that.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:56 AM
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Weeks, months: what's the difference? I don't actually remember how long it took to heal. Longer than several days, that's for sure.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:57 AM
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74: We were stupid. I said it was our first child--we didn't know better. We got rid of them all after that.

THANK GOD YOU GOT RID OF YOUR CHILDREN, YOU AREN'T FIT TO RAISE THEM.


Posted by: OPINIONATED MAC FORUM | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:58 AM
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And the cream really did work wonders.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:58 AM
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The first one's pretty much the mulligan kid anyway. Which is hard luck for the ones whose parents decide they don't like golf and stop there, but them's the breaks, and if you don't like it there's a hot stove right over here.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:59 AM
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Was the cream that silver-based stuff? I spilled a pot of boiling coffee grounds over my knees when I was a teenager, and that cream was the shit. No scars, which surprised the heck out of the doctor.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:02 AM
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My only serious childhood injury that I know of - there were probably more at some point, but this is the only one that I remember any of and probably the only one that I have a scar from - was getting my hand stuck in a conveyor belt at an airport. The scar on the back of my hand is still visible, but only when I get a suntan or sunburn. I keep on expecting some summer to come and the scar to be gone entirely, but it hasn't happened yet. I actually think it's sort of cool to have a scar that comes and goes with the seasons and my daily activity. (Disclaimer: obviously, I'm not recommending anything of the sort.)


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:04 AM
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81: I think it was silver sulfadiazine, but the lack of a scar was more likely due to, or dependent upon, being young.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:08 AM
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When I was about four, I picked up a hot gas poker. The cream helped a lot, but I'm not sure what was in it. (I understood that things which were glowing red were too hot to handle, so I conscientiously waited till it stopped glowing before I picked it up.)


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:08 AM
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BETTER DROWNED THAN DUFFERS IF NOT DUFFERS WONT DROWN


Posted by: OPINIONATED COMMANDER WALKER, RN | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:09 AM
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81: yes, I believe so.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:10 AM
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84: hot gas poker

What is that?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:11 AM
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87. Something like this, except ours was connected to the mains gas supply and we used it to light the coal fires around the house (this was about 1955).


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:14 AM
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83: Under the watchful eye (right) of my 15yo brother, I burned the bejeezus out of my legs when I was about 1. I don't have any scars and don't remember anything about it, except the story that my parents came home to my brother sitting next to me with his Boy Scout manual applying compresses.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:15 AM
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73, 75 and 81: Our youngest got blistered pretty good when he knocked over a low table with a teapot on it while rampaging around my brother-in-law's apartment. And then we in turn got blistered by my b-i-l because we just sat there and waited our turn in the emergency room (St. Vincent's as I recall) rather than doing I'm-not-sure-exactly-what, but something more proactive (he had given us some doctor's names to throw around I think). "That's not how it works in New York!" was his refrain.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:15 AM
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Speaking of questionable parenting choices. Double you tee eff.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:20 AM
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88: Thanks. I've never been around a coal fire.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:22 AM
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Which, now that I think of it, seems strange for somebody in Pittsburgh.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:22 AM
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93: We're post-industrial!

Drive up to Centralia (Ned's original neck of the woods).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:25 AM
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Maybe it's time for curiosity and stupidity to have a meet-up in a backyard grill.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:30 AM
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Maybe it's time for curiosity and stupidity to have a meet-up in a backyard grill.

That's exactly how I managed to burn off an eyebrow trying to light a cigarette once in college.



Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:34 AM
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Maybe it's time for curiosity and stupidity to have a meet-up in a backyard grill.

That's how I cut my finger on a razor in jr. high. I thought, "That doesn't look sharp."


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:45 AM
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I'm not even sure where to buy coal. Is it at Home Depot? I suppose I could run down to Braddock and swipe some from the coke works.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:53 AM
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95: That's how I put my finger into a fan at an age I am too embarrassed to figure out precisely. (Somehow I became convinced if I jammed it in there quickly enough and hard enough I might be able stop it via my finger hitting the fan blade rather than the other way around.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 11:54 AM
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I know it's moved on, but I need to enthusiastically endorse 28.

Not that our kids aren't perfect angels at least some of the time.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 12:30 PM
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BR says that I need to stop my daughter from leaping up onto me, wrapping her arms and legs around me, and screaming "MONKEY!"


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 12:44 PM
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102: Tell BR she has only herself to blame for the example she sets.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 12:47 PM
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28, 101: Eh, it's not really an either-or. Different kids are easier or harder to deal with, and some kids are going to act out more regardless of what their parents do, but parenthood is like pretty much every other human endeavor in that some people are better at it than others. Which does not, of course, make it OK to offer unsolicited advice to other parents.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 1:14 PM
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but parenthood is like pretty much every other human endeavor in that some people are better at it than others.

And most people think they are above average.

And the better at it you are, the less likely you are to think you are very good at it.

So, as in most human endeavors, the unsolicited advice mostly comes from incompetents and fools.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 3:00 PM
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104.last: If only solicited advice had a consistently better record.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 3:03 PM
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91: Eat that, Sparkle Motion.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 3:06 PM
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104.last, 105: which is also why psychologists' kids are famously well-adjusted.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 3:09 PM
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91: Somebody didn't realize that Little Miss Sunshine wasn't a documentary.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 3:15 PM
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106: Sometimes, I doubt your commitment to the patriarchy.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 4:19 PM
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well, most people tend to 'offer advice' where it seems like the advice would be easiest to work. parenting just tends to be inscrutable to those who mainly deal with large people


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 6:33 PM
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I wonder if PawSense would work on toddlers.


Posted by: Noumenon | Link to this comment | 05-12-10 10:55 PM
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