Re: What's for dinner tonight?

1

I would probably make fake risotto with sauteed vegetables and roasted tofu, although you might want to saute chicken instead.

Fake risotto pretty: finely slice a medium onion; saute with a little salt over low heat until it starts to carmelize. Stir in your rice and let it cook until translucent and toasted-smelling (I usually use arborio just because I like it, but I believe it works with just about any rice). Add a cup of vegetable broth; cook over low heat until absorbed; keep adding vegetable broth until rice is tender. This is a quick and sloppy version with little stirring, so the rice tends not to have the real risotto texture. But it tastes pretty good and you can add some grated parmesan.

Saute some asparagus and mushrooms and maybe make a thin, brothy pan sauce and bob's your uncle. So to speak. I mean, if he was you would probably have noticed.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:13 PM
horizontal rule
2

"risotto: pretty finely"

Although it is fairly pretty if you top it with greens and finely sliced roasted mushrooms.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:14 PM
horizontal rule
3

That sounds delicious! THREAD CLOSED!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:15 PM
horizontal rule
4

Although I realize now I was thinking that rice had gluten in it. I thought I basically had to eliminate all carbs. Rice makes the task not so tricky.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:16 PM
horizontal rule
5

I was just wondering this myself. There's no food in the house, and I'm about to go to a movie. My department party is tonight, so I could subsist on hors d'oeuvres and gin, but that's a recipe for having to apologize to a lot of people. Probably I should just come home, do grocery shopping, and wait for irate text messages from people who are grateful that my presence at department parties results in them not being the biggest assholes in the room.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:17 PM
horizontal rule
6

Frowner, are you me?


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:18 PM
horizontal rule
7

Fake risotto pretty: finely slice a medium onion; saute with a little salt over low heat until it starts to carmelize. Stir in your rice and let it cook until translucent and toasted-smelling

Translucent and toasted-smelling refers to the rice, right?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:20 PM
horizontal rule
8

Kale chips and KFC Double Downs for everybody!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:24 PM
horizontal rule
9

Or, you know, you can actually safely eat most meat raw, if you don't like to cook it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:25 PM
horizontal rule
10

6: If so, I'm going right out to throw things at the Tories. And then I'm going to buy some really expensive British-made shoes, and some of the good kind of Cadbury bars. I hope I am!


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:26 PM
horizontal rule
11

7: Yes, it does. My suggestion is to get more broth than you think you'll need and keep it over a very low flame on the back of the stove. You'll need the appropriate amount for cooking whatever quantity of rice you use, plus some.

Also, medium and medium-low heat for this whole process. Keep an eye on it, since you'll need to be adding broth at fairly short intervals.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:28 PM
horizontal rule
12

10. Sure, but it's just weird that I was just about to propose almost exactly the same solution to Heebie's dilemma.

I'm on side with throwing things at the Tories, but are expensive British made shoes any different from expensive American made ones? Also, are you sure about Cadburys? Unless you mean Green & Blacks, who are owned by Cadburys these days, but they keep the brands carefully separate...


Posted by: OFE | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:38 PM
horizontal rule
13

||

I never knew Ryan Gosling was awesome before, but here's his take on The Giving Tree:

That book is so f**ked up; that story's the worst. I mean, at the end the tree is a stump and the old guy just sitting on him; he's just used him to death, and you're supposed to want to be the tree? F**k you. You be the tree. I don't want to be the tree.

You be the tree! I don't want to be the tree! So great.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:50 PM
horizontal rule
14

Fuck you! You be the tree!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:50 PM
horizontal rule
15

I never encountered "The Giving Tree" until college, and thought it was an alarmist cautionary tale about motherhood, using allegory along the lines of "Who Moved My Cheese".


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:52 PM
horizontal rule
16

There is a restaurant here in NYC called Risotteria, and I always thought it was funny to have a whole restaurant devoted to risotto. Turns out it's specifically for gluten-free eaters, and besides risotto they have gluten-free breadsticks and pizza which are not terrible. I ended up feeling bad about finding the restaurant funny, like I'd been mocking disabled people or something.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:54 PM
horizontal rule
17

Feel free to find this restaurant's horrible name funny.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:56 PM
horizontal rule
18

12: Oh, I got a pair of slightly used fancy "country" brogues on Ebay--Trickers, as worn by His Highness the Prince of Wales--which are absolutely perfect in terms of stompiness and suitability for Minnesota weather and which can be purchased steeply discounted at the factory shop, apparently. I don't think we really have a country/hiking-through-the-gorse shoe tradition over here.

Long ago when I worked in Shanghai, a British friend of mine shared with me various Cadbury bars sent by her family. One of them was extruded into a bendy shape, I think. They were delicious, unless that's the nostalgia talking. They weren't classy chocolate by any means, but bear in mind that I'll be spending all my money on the shoes.

Also bear in mind that to many USians, British snacks are exotic and delicious even when they're objectively mediocre.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:58 PM
horizontal rule
19

16: I learned about Risotteria shortly after stumbling upon Rice to Riches, which, my God. (Warning: nausea-inducing Flash animation.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:58 PM
horizontal rule
20

Chili and cornbread in a cast iron pan* and a salad, too.

Risotto is pretty good in a pressure cooker.

* In my universe, it goes without saying that the only grain in cornbread is maize.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:58 PM
horizontal rule
21

13: Who's Ryan Gosling? I love him now.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:59 PM
horizontal rule
22

13-15: clearly, the tree is Jesus.

I've seen that book discussed recently somewhere or other as well, but I have no idea where.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 12:59 PM
horizontal rule
23

20: I brought my cast-iron-pan jalapeno-encrusted cornbread and a pot of beautiful beans in thick broth to July 4th last year and, after people got over the initial "what am i supposed to do with this?" they really loved it.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:00 PM
horizontal rule
24

18
Also bear in mind that to many USians, British snacks are exotic and delicious even when they're objectively mediocre.

Really? Don't count me among them. "Exotic" is the last thing I'd call Britain, especially the English part of Britain, no offense. Admittedly, most of what I know of Britain I learned from Douglas Adams, so this is ex recto, but still.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:04 PM
horizontal rule
25

16: Well jeez there are all these places in my neighborhood called Ferreteria. Whole restaurants devoted to serving ferrets.

Nevermind.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:05 PM
horizontal rule
26

Ok see it just did a thing with removing my html tags with the words "Emily Littella" in them but...I know...I know...take it to Standpipe's blog...


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:06 PM
horizontal rule
27

23 sounds really tasty. Lunchtime.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:07 PM
horizontal rule
28

Who's Ryan Gosling?

He was one of the last batch of Mouseketeers along with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, but has grown up to be an Oscar- and SAG Award-nominated actor.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:08 PM
horizontal rule
29

24: So you're just not one of the many, I suppose.

I grew up around various sorts of Anglophiles and, er, UK-philes, from the very serious English literature PhD types (from whence my large collection of British children's books) to science fiction types obsessed with Dr. Who to cozy midwesterners who got all those catalogues carrying collections of British TV shows to various punks of the Dr. Martens/we hate Thatcher sort or the depressive fans of Joy Division. Plus the many, many people obsessed with Ireland. Believe me, I have heard all anyone could possibly want to know about puddings and bullseyes and Blackpool rock and chips with vinegar and battered fish and fairy cakes and blackcurrent things.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:15 PM
horizontal rule
30

My planned meal for tomorrow is an asparagus - seafood risotto. Puree part of the asparagus with lemon juice, olive oil and reconstituted dried morels, make the risotto with a mix of white wine then seafood stock, chicken stock, and the morel juice, add the puree towards the end then add squid sauteed with garlic and steamed clams and steamed asparagus tips.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:17 PM
horizontal rule
31

Fuck you all! You be the tree!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:20 PM
horizontal rule
32

but I believe it works with just about any rice

Any short grain rice.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:23 PM
horizontal rule
33

32: Ricist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:24 PM
horizontal rule
34

30: That puree sounds very clever. And white wine! I need to get some more white wine and then not actually drink it.

This weekend I'm planning to make socca (which is like polenta except made with chickpea flour). I am excited to add to my extensive repertoire of mushy main dishes.

I also have a recipe for slow-cooked carmelized tomatoes which I plan to serve atop the socca.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:24 PM
horizontal rule
35

Fuck you all! You be the tree!

Fuck you all! You read the fucking archives!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:26 PM
horizontal rule
36

M/tch is clearly the tree.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:28 PM
horizontal rule
37

I'm stumped.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:29 PM
horizontal rule
38

Against my will, I have a soft spot for Ryan Gosling.


Posted by: Amber | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:48 PM
horizontal rule
39

Rice noodles. Trader Joes has good ones. Not great with tomatoes, but OK otherwise.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:51 PM
horizontal rule
40

37: Longer M/tch: "Come boy, sit on my stump."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:52 PM
horizontal rule
41

"Hey Girl, It's so cooolllldddd in the D! Let's cuddle under the covers."


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:54 PM
horizontal rule
42

I've actually never been to Trader Joe's. I hear good things, though.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:55 PM
horizontal rule
43

14, 31: Is this heebie's way of telling us that she's not going to be cooking dinner for us?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 1:56 PM
horizontal rule
44

That's a good Gosling quote and all, but man—The Notebook, guys. The fucking Notebook. Fuck that treacle. I'm still pissed.


Posted by: Otto von Bisquick | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:00 PM
horizontal rule
45

Otto von Bisquick saw The Notebook!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:02 PM
horizontal rule
46

Actually, I rather like The Giving Tree. I understood it to be a tragedy in the first place, though.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:09 PM
horizontal rule
47

There's a "sauce for the goose, sauce for Gosling" joke in there somewhere, but I can't be bothered.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:21 PM
horizontal rule
48

29 - Brighton Rock is good, but Brighton rock is terrible.

When we were in England in 2003, Rfts' distant-relation-by-marriage (who was about 11, IIRC) very seriously asked us how Americans could eat ice cream cones if we didn't have Flake.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:39 PM
horizontal rule
49

48: Ok, I'll play the ignorant (and ugly!) American.
What is Flake?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:51 PM
horizontal rule
50

It's a UK candy bar that's hard to describe -- like a fluffy, breakable stick of chocolate. They sell ice cream with Flakes stuck in them in the UK.

Here's a picture.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:54 PM
horizontal rule
51

OT, but despite its provenance, this stuff is both damn tasty and very spot on in terms of style. Maybe New Belgium is finally getting its act together.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:55 PM
horizontal rule
52

Crunchie bars are like no American candy bar I've seen. They are supergoods.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:57 PM
horizontal rule
53

Thanks, LB!

The picture looks like it could be beef jerky.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 2:57 PM
horizontal rule
54

51: I haven't tried that, but I found NB's Ranger to be a surprisingly good IPA.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:01 PM
horizontal rule
55

51: Heh. Looks like an interesting beer; I'll have to try it next time I'm in a place where I can get New Belgium beers.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:02 PM
horizontal rule
56

52: They are, indeed, teh awesome.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:05 PM
horizontal rule
57

I can personally attest to the awesomeness of the dishes AWB describes in 23. Those beans! So big! So tasty!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:10 PM
horizontal rule
58

54: I haven't been tempted to try Ranger both because I'm not a New Belgium fan generally, plus everybody and their cousin makes a good IPA and there are so many others out there I haven't tried.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:12 PM
horizontal rule
59

And if they don't make a good IPA, they make a good ESB.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:12 PM
horizontal rule
60

56: Crunchie bars give me a toothache just thinking about them. (And make the roof of my mouth hurt.) The Bagel Express on 2d Ave. -- for reasons known only to them -- sells Flakes and Crunchies and Kinder Eggs. They frequently throw Kinder Eggs into my bag unasked.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:13 PM
horizontal rule
61

Violet Crumbles, though manufactured by convicts, are also super yummy in a makes-the-roof-of-my-mouth-hurt kind of way.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:20 PM
horizontal rule
62

They frequently throw Kinder Eggs into my bag unasked.

Fertility ritual?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 3:40 PM
horizontal rule
63

62: OMG!!! No means no, Bagel Guys!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 4:00 PM
horizontal rule
64

everybody and their cousin makes a good IPA and there are so many others out there I haven't tried

Can you get Ninkasi down there? Both of their IPAs are terrific. You know what's also pretty great, despite the bullshitty label? The Jim Beam boutique rye.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 4:06 PM
horizontal rule
65

Haven't seen the Ninkasi down here, but will keep an eye out for it. I've been avoiding that rye due to the label, and didn't even know it was made by Jim Beam. I'll give it a try one of these days.

I don't know if you saw, in some thread a month or two ago, that I found a bottle of Clear Creek's fir tree eau de vie down here. Very nice stuff (super pricey though).


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 4:38 PM
horizontal rule
66

I'll have to try it next time I'm in a place where I can get New Belgium beers.

It's definitely not your average beer. Very sour and basically flat, NTTAWWT.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 4:40 PM
horizontal rule
67

65.2: I did see, isn't it great? It's fairly labor-intensive, which I assume accounts for much of the price.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 4:50 PM
horizontal rule
68

67: I don't begrudge the CC people the price at all, it's just that I have to severely ration myself. So delicious.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:13 PM
horizontal rule
69

Didn't Flake originate as the crap scraped off the Cadbury factory machines? Americans don't go for that/no can do. Reminds me too much of the time when we were really poor and my mom asked to have the scraps of meat and cheese from the slicer at the sandwich shop.

I have tried Flake, and was not impressed. It's a bit dry.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:26 PM
horizontal rule
70

can't go for that. I realized at some point today that it's a dumb day, which means I cannot go to my department party, but will instead sit at home drinking Bud in my underwear and reading trashy lesbian vampire novels from the 1890's.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:27 PM
horizontal rule
71

I did go to a decent Serbian movie this afternoon with my Serbian friend. Belgrade is basically north Brooklyn, was I think the argument it made.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:28 PM
horizontal rule
72

I loved the salami scraps my mom used to buy, I confess.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:29 PM
horizontal rule
73

Your mom too? Can we be pinkie sisters?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:31 PM
horizontal rule
74

My secretary says the gluten free pasta is pretty good. I'm not positive, but I think she also said quinoa is acceptable on a gluten free diet.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:31 PM
horizontal rule
75

Belgrade is basically north Brooklyn

They're building a huge new stadium complex for a shitty basketball team?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:32 PM
horizontal rule
76

That's not north Brooklyn. I'm thinking J train and above, except for the fancy parts of Williamsburg.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:34 PM
horizontal rule
77

Yeah, the end scraps at the deli are often a bargain as well. It's never occurred to me to ask for them, but some shops parcel them up and put them out for sale at a reduced price. I'll take the ends of a big thing -- loaf? -- of provolone, sure. Why not?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:35 PM
horizontal rule
78

Violet Crumbles are so, so good. You can get versions of that here if you go to a confectionary store that sells 'honeycomb'.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:37 PM
horizontal rule
79

76: Yeah, I was stretching geography for a crap joke.

</cross-posted at the appropriate Standpipean location>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:38 PM
horizontal rule
80

Your mom too? Can we be pinkie sisters?

You betcha. Also all the generic foods back when they were shelved in an aisle all their own and packaged like something out of Repo Man. PEANUTS. CORN FLAKES.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:50 PM
horizontal rule
81

My dad loved those, and is still wistful about them. He longs for a world with fewer consumer choices, and all perishable goods packed in one of a few standard containers.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:54 PM
horizontal rule
82

packaged like something out of Repo Man

I can't remember exactly when Ralph's stopped selling the generic Repo Man beer, but I feel like it was pretty recently. It definitely lasted through the 90s and well into the early 00s.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 5:59 PM
horizontal rule
83

You can still find some of the generically-named things around, though they're fewer and farther between: Crunchy Nuggets! (that's Grape-Nuts), and Woven Wheats (i.e. Triscuits).

I'm not sure whether there are still generic bagged versions of your basic cereals -- fruit loops and raisin bran and so on.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:11 PM
horizontal rule
84

That reminds me: at some point in the late 80s I started noticing people wearing t-shirts that said "Generic T-Shirt". Also postcards that simply said "Generic Postcard". So sad and wrong. REAL generic products just say "Creamed Corn" or "Beer", they don't include the word "generic". If you're too dim to figure out that a white card that says "Postcard" is a generic postcard, and thus need the word "Generic" inserted in there in order to get the joke, you need to be forceably placed in one of Standpipe's Reeducation Camps.

Don't even get me started on this establishment.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:12 PM
horizontal rule
85

83: Are you talking generics, or store brands? The generic products I think everyone else is discussing were in an all white box or can with black lettering. No fancy names or pictures or anything, just the bare basic information on the label. For example.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:15 PM
horizontal rule
86

There's a whole world of off brand stuff I had no idea existed. Not because of my delicate effeteness (I will win most prolier than thou contests) but because such things did not exist anywhere near where I grew up. But there is a supermarket (confidential to rfts -- next to udupi!) filled with (and nothing but) weird knock offs -- Durpeetos and Mountain Mist and Tamphax and Zounty paper towels. Nuts.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:16 PM
horizontal rule
87

Right, store brands are very much around. The marketing genius behind simply stamping "BEER" or "CORN FLAKES" onto a white box with a blue stripe on it belongs to a different time.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:17 PM
horizontal rule
88

|| I just wanted you all to know that I decided _Spirited Away_ was the appropriate 1st Communion gift for my god-child with the hated parents: a story of finding yourself when your parents have turned into swine. I also threw in the Avatar: Last Airbender set because I'm an awesome absentee godparent. And the cashier had the same name as my godchild, so clearly this is a sign that God's will has been done with these selections. |>


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:17 PM
horizontal rule
89

Woven Wheats (i.e. Triscuits)

In college, I went through a period of mild obsession with the names of generic versions of Triscuits™. There's Weave-Its at Harris Teeter (my standard joke: "Once I pick up the box, I just can't weave it alone!"), and Weavers at, I think, K-Roger.

Another fun generic names area is pop: Twice Up! for 7-up (Teeter again). Mountain Lion for Mountain Dew (Food Lion). Possible fave: Dr. Smooth for Dr. Pepper (Teeter)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:18 PM
horizontal rule
90

I'm not sure why you'd need even "T-Shirt" on a t-shirt. I mean. Yes. That is a t-shirt, clearly. Do you have some sort of problem?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:18 PM
horizontal rule
91

Tamphax? I totally want that in my vagina.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:18 PM
horizontal rule
92

I seem I'm sorta pwnedish.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:19 PM
horizontal rule
93

91 was me, making requests on behalf of my vagina.

88: Well done! That seems like a nice, appropriately subversive/kind gift.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:20 PM
horizontal rule
94

90: Well, if you're modeling the generic products we're talking of, it makes sense to model the label. Otherwise it could be a Fruit of the Loom plain white t-shirt.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:21 PM
horizontal rule
95

91: "Tamphax" did better in the focus groups than "Tamthrax" anyway.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:21 PM
horizontal rule
96

85: Sorry, I just saw this. Store brands. Very, very occasionally I see the white box with black lettering, or the plain plastic bag of corn flakes, but otherwise it's store brands. Understood.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:22 PM
horizontal rule
97

I agree that 88 is very praiseworthy.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:22 PM
horizontal rule
98

94: I just don't like it, this ironic clothing-wearing business.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:27 PM
horizontal rule
99

I have precisely zero memories of any of the generics you old folks are describing. I'm also on your lawn. Neener.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:27 PM
horizontal rule
100

Huh. It turns out that generic labeling was a trend specific to the late 70s-early 80s.

I'd just assumed that it had been around for a decades, but it was apparently just a style choice, in its own way part of the same late-70s/early 80s stripped down, utilitarian, apocolyptic chic aesthetic that spawned Repo Man itself.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:29 PM
horizontal rule
101

I'm open to the Mineshaft ghostwriting the card to go with the gift, of course!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:30 PM
horizontal rule
102

98: I only wear clothing ironically. If I were being sincere, I would be naked.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:31 PM
horizontal rule
103

I have precisely zero memories of any of the generics you old folks are describing.

Me neither, but I remember my parents talking about them.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:35 PM
horizontal rule
104

Relevant.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:43 PM
horizontal rule
105

trashy lesbian vampire novels from the 1890's.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:49 PM
horizontal rule
106

followup to 105: recommendations plz?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:49 PM
horizontal rule
107

generic bagged versions of your basic cereals

Sure they do. But they tend to lack the plainspoken elegance of Crispy Hexagons.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:51 PM
horizontal rule
108

I won't recommend the one I'm reading now. It's incredibly shitty. I'm reading it for Science. But I am considering starting a blog book club for former students and curious friends on 18th-19th-c gothic novels.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 6:52 PM
horizontal rule
109

I should say, all real gothic novels (that is, none of that high-falutin Emily Bronte/Henry James stuff) are shitty. Their shittiness is part of their charm. But there's a difference between the shittiness of, say, The Monk, which has a very high rate of OMFGs per page (with a dash of "no one should ever let 19-year-old boys write novels"), and my current read, The Blood of the Vampire, which, so far anyway, is brutally racist, classist, and homophobic for no apparent reason. I don't want to malign it yet because I'm not very far into it, and, to be fair, pretty much everything written in the 1890's was racist, classist, and homophobic, as are most gothic novels. The "fun" parts haven't happened yet; it's mostly musing about how beautiful "nice white babies" are.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:01 PM
horizontal rule
110

But there is a supermarket (confidential to rfts -- next to udupi!) filled with (and nothing but) weird knock offs -- Durpeetos and Mountain Mist and Tamphax and Zounty paper towels.

(a) ZOUNTY! The zest paper towels you can zuy!
(b) I really need more Udupi soon.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:02 PM
horizontal rule
111

To be fair, nice white babies are pretty nice.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:03 PM
horizontal rule
112

112: The character doing the musing is comparing them the disgusting n----- babies she grew up around, who smell so bad you throw up if you get too close to them.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:05 PM
horizontal rule
113

erg 111


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:05 PM
horizontal rule
114

I'd just assumed that it had been around for a decades, but it was apparently just a style choice, in its own way part of the same late-70s/early 80s stripped down, utilitarian, apocolyptic chic aesthetic that spawned Repo Man itself.

It's a little more nuanced than that. The packages were deliberately designed to be both ugly and obtrusive, so that only the most price-conscious consumers (in that era of rampant inflation) would buy them. Sometimes the term "ring-fencing" is used to describe this anti-marketing. The idea is that you want to discourage your customers who can afford to buy the higher priced product from choosing the lower priced product. The Saturday stopover rule in airline pricing is a classic example.

So what changed? Convergence of two trends: retail consolidation and contract manufacturing. Retailer consolidation (and the growth of big-box chains) meant that the grocery stores had more buying power and negotiating leverage. Contract manufacturing (where the branded consumer goods companies outsourced the production of their products to factories run by third parties) meant that there was a ton of manufacturing capacity for consumer goods that wasn't controlled by the big brands.

The net result was that retailers learned they could sell storebrand products at higher margins than branded products. So they started making storebrand products more attractive, and also higher quality. WalMart took it a step further and pioneered the practice of telling the big branded CPG manufacturers that if they wanted their product to be carried at WalMart, they had better be prepared to deliver an identical storebrand equivalent at a much lower price. Which is how you end up with Sams brand this or that that is literally identical to the more expensive branded product next to it on the shelf.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:06 PM
horizontal rule
115

BOO.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:06 PM
horizontal rule
116

115 in response to 113, obviously.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:07 PM
horizontal rule
117

Some of the Costco brand stuff is really excellent.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:08 PM
horizontal rule
118

Snark has put "Paint It Black" on the stereo and now I want a cigarette very much.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:08 PM
horizontal rule
119

115: She also reminisces about how fun it was to be a child on her father's plantation because he'd let her whip the n----- children and she loved to see them writhe. I know she's going to turn out to be an evil vampire, but high society seems to think she's a charming, lovely young woman with strange eating habits. (She eats like a pig.)


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:11 PM
horizontal rule
120

the plainspoken elegance of Crispy Hexagons.

I love that! I love these plainly descriptive names! Crunchy nuggets!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:12 PM
horizontal rule
121

114 -- Huh. Very interesting. Question for KR (and the rest): Do you buy store brands? I generally try to but always have a residual feeling of getting something crappy or unreliable. I am fully conscious that this is what the marketers have trained me to think, yet have the feeling anyway.

In line with 117, I guess I make an exception and buy Kirkland branded stuff at Costco.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:12 PM
horizontal rule
122

Question for KR (and the rest): Do you buy store brands?

Absolutely! If there's a particular product where I know from experience that the branded product is superior in a meaningful way, I buy it (I've yet to find a peanut butter I like as much as Jif, for example). But otherwise, there's no reason not to buy the storebrand. As I said, often they are literally off the same production line. Whole Foods "365" line is a bit of a different story, but also generally excellent quality. Also, I buy only storebrand OTC medications.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:17 PM
horizontal rule
123

Do you buy store brands?

I may be an outlier, but yeah, frequently. Though I actually don't buy a lot of the relevant things in the first place. Canned tomatoes, canned kidney beans, very occasionally cereal (Crunchy Nuggets!) or crackers (Woven Wheats). Every once in a while it's clear that the store brand is inferior to the brand name, but I'm not dedicated enough to the cereal or crackers to pony up nearly twice the price, most of the time.

Pasta and most beans, and rice and other grains, and pretty much everything else I get in bulk from the health food store (it's cheaper and a more pleasing shopping experience).


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:21 PM
horizontal rule
124

I am going to make guacamole right now I think. But I don't have any tortillas! Sigh.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:22 PM
horizontal rule
125

Lady Lee peanut butter was the best. I think it was a store brand, except I also think maybe they sold it at a bunch of different places? It came in a yellow plastic tub with a ring you pull off the lid, like with milk.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:23 PM
horizontal rule
126


Another exception is the products where I usually buy a superpremium brand, and the storebrands often do not try to compete at this price point. Ice cream, for example: you can buy a storebrand just as good as Brighams for less money, but there's no generic version of Ben & Jerry's, so I pay full price.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:23 PM
horizontal rule
127

109: I really liked The Monk, while in all ways recognizing it is shitty.

110: UDUPI!!! JUST CALL MY NAME AND I WILL BE THERE!!!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:24 PM
horizontal rule
128

I will win most prolier than thou contests

How many bullfrogs did you spear last night?


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:26 PM
horizontal rule
129

Or jalapenos! Jesus Christ.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:26 PM
horizontal rule
130

128: NJ prole! No bullfrogs!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:28 PM
horizontal rule
131

My thinking is if you get too picky about what you consumer, you become this guy and nobody outside of journalism will ever listen to you.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:29 PM
horizontal rule
132

Or too picky about using "consumer" instead of "consumer."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:29 PM
horizontal rule
133

I ate avocados for dinner tonight -- i just put them on toasted French bread and dusted them with salt and pepper and drizzled them with olive oil. It was very yummy.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:30 PM
horizontal rule
134

Sorry, I don't know the conversion factors for big hair ----> dead bullfrogs.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:30 PM
horizontal rule
135

134: No big hair either! Just poor!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:30 PM
horizontal rule
136

Another thing: the branded CPG manufacturers tend to do a lot of product innovation with packaging, and this tends to filter down slowly to the contract manufacturers (for example, when the Minnetonka Corporation created Softsoap 30 years ago, they bought out the entire manufacturing output of a particular type of pump valve for a year in order to keep any competitors from imitating their product). Sometimes the convenience of the packaging is enough to entice me to buy the more expensive branded product. Grated cheese in a resealable bag, for instance.

Eventually all this stuff filters down into the storebrand segment as well, at which point the geniuses at P&G and Palmolive have to think up something new to justify their salaries.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:33 PM
horizontal rule
137

I ate avocados for dinner tonight -- i just put them on toasted French bread and dusted them with salt and pepper and drizzled them with olive oil.

I'm afraid you lose all future prolier than thou contests by technical default.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:36 PM
horizontal rule
138

133: That sounds good. I had buttered popcorn and cake.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:42 PM
horizontal rule
139

I had the leftover half of the pita-falafel thing I had for lunch.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:45 PM
horizontal rule
140

138/139: Is Btock around, perchance?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 7:49 PM
horizontal rule
141

137: Oh, for sure. I only ever mentioned it to prevent my sounding clueless for never before realizing the existence of entire supermarkets stocked only with with weird sound-alike products. (I wish I could remember the name for the fake Dr Pepper because it was super win.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:03 PM
horizontal rule
142

I tend to buy either store brand or super premium e.g. generic Cheerios but imported San Marzano tomatoes. Overall though, not much of my grocery consumption is branded in any way, unless AOC type stuff counts (cheeses, cold cuts).


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:04 PM
horizontal rule
143

There are bullfrogs in NJ.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:18 PM
horizontal rule
144

That map is incomplete.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:20 PM
horizontal rule
145

142 is REALLY not in the running for the prolier-than-thou award.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:21 PM
horizontal rule
146

Think of it as multi cultural prole shopping. A bit of Italian, a bit of French, etc.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:26 PM
horizontal rule
147

143: Sure! And there is a picture of youthful oudemia-with-Dorothy-Hamill-haircut holding one in her wee hands! But nobody kills or eats them.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:31 PM
horizontal rule
148

Why not?

(OK, I confess that I don't intend to cook the two that I did in last night for noise control, but that's because my wife and son aren't proper proles.)


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:37 PM
horizontal rule
149

141: Dr. Pooper?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:48 PM
horizontal rule
150

Mr. Pibb was one fake Dr. Pepper.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:50 PM
horizontal rule
151

So who's going to the meet-up tomorrow? Will we recognize each other? It might be foggy.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:53 PM
horizontal rule
152

133. Dash of cumin or achiote is excellent. Goes well with beer.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:58 PM
horizontal rule
153

Bring fog lamps.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 8:58 PM
horizontal rule
154

I found some supermarkets that had all kinds of weird brand names for familiar stuff. Turned out I was in Canada.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 9:14 PM
horizontal rule
155

30 Rock has not been great lately, but Wesley the British guy's insistence on slightly different names and versions of things is pretty good. "Don't you see? We're like Russ and Rebecca from Chums!"


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 9:46 PM
horizontal rule
156

151: Belle Lettre and I will be there. If only there were some traditional meetup signal...


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 9:52 PM
horizontal rule
157

So who's going to the meet-up tomorrow? Will we recognize each other? It might be foggy.

I'm pretty likely to go, but it isn't definite.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 10:26 PM
horizontal rule
158

I'm not saying anything about Mutombo. He's been retired a long time now.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 10:29 PM
horizontal rule
159

Grated cheese in a resealable bag

Are you kidding me? How hard is it to grate your own cheese as you need it? Even really good cheese does not handle sitting around after grating very well, and they're not using good cheese in those bags.

Also, it's not clear to me that the suggested fake risotto requires materially less work than the traditional and delicious asparagus risotto I made this evening, so why not just do it right?

This comment is perhaps lacking in proliness.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 10:52 PM
horizontal rule
160

It's usually burned off by 2PM, no? Anyway, I'll be there, in the back patio if possible, and try to work up a sign.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 05-14-10 11:14 PM
horizontal rule
161

I feel like I didn't get enough credit for this. (scroll up slightly for context.)


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 1:30 AM
horizontal rule
162

I worked at a Kroger when I was in high school, back when their generic brand was aggressively generic. Cost Cutter Beer was 99 cents a six-pack, and why you'd steal that instead of expensive beer is mysterious. Yet steal it we did.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 1:51 AM
horizontal rule
163

(I wish I could remember the name for the fake Dr Pepper because it was super win.)

Dr Thunder? Dr Bold? Dr K? Dr Chek? Dr Topper? Mr. Pig?


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:54 AM
horizontal rule
164

Dr. Perky


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 7:12 AM
horizontal rule
165

OK, the next time I go to Udupi! (omnomnomom), I will take pictures in the not-quite-right store. There's also a bar next door that invariably has a cop car out front and a woman sitting on the curb holding her head in her hands. But Udupi!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 7:32 AM
horizontal rule
166

a bar next door that invariably has a cop car out front and a woman sitting on the curb holding her head in her hands

It's New York. Everybody needs a gimmick.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 7:45 AM
horizontal rule
167

166: No, no! Decaying lower-middle-class suburb of Cleveland.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 7:48 AM
horizontal rule
168

122: Whole Foods 365 milk is just Garelick farms, and it's slightly more expensive. I used to buy it when I had a discount, but otherwise I prefer to support a regional dairy.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 8:05 AM
horizontal rule
169

159: Fake risotto follow-up question: in what way? The point of the fake risotto is that you don't have to watch it as closely and aren't expecting a classic risotto result. Of course, even working from a proper recipe I can never seem to achieve the creamy/sauce-like thing that one is supposed to get. The main point of fake risotto is that you get the tastiness of slow-cooked arborio rice with less effort and less sense of failure if it's not perfect. But by all means, stir constantly and get it right if you want.


Posted by: Frowner | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 8:25 AM
horizontal rule
170

re: 159 and 169

I've seen some chefs claim that the constant stirring for risottos is over-stated, i.e. that after the first couple of ladlefuls of stock, and five+ minutes of stirring, you can just dump in a load of stock at once and leave it to cook and the end result will be largely indistinguishable from the more labour intensive version. I've eaten at the restaurant of one chef [now turned TV presenter] I've seen making that claim on telly, and had his risotto, and it tasted pretty bloody good to me.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 8:43 AM
horizontal rule
171

Presumably, Big Spoon is to blame for the apparent myth regarding the stirring of risotto.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 8:48 AM
horizontal rule
172

Well, I'm a stirrer, but this article in the Guardian about risotto making is sort of interesting.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 8:50 AM
horizontal rule
173

171: The spoon in question.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 8:52 AM
horizontal rule
174

THERE IS NO SPOON.


Posted by: OPINIONATED SPOON BOY | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:07 AM
horizontal rule
175

SOUNDGARDEN WAS UNDERRATED.


Posted by: OPINIONATED SPOONMAN | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:21 AM
horizontal rule
176

GA GA GA GA GA


Posted by: OPINIONATED SPOON | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:25 AM
horizontal rule
177

re: 172

Yeah, I read that article in the paper version when first published. I switched to keeping the stock in a hot pan beside the risotto as a result, and that's definitely a good idea. I use a hybrid method.

I add the first half or so of the stock a little bit at a time, stirring until each ladle is absorbed as per tradition, and then once the starch has started breaking down a bit I put most of the rest of the stock in and let it simmer with occasional stirring.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:27 AM
horizontal rule
178

I switched to keeping the stock in a hot pan beside the risotto as a result

Which is DE RIGUEUR!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:51 AM
horizontal rule
179

178: I used to just keep it at a simmer, which was also wrong, apparently.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:53 AM
horizontal rule
180

Actually I doubt it makes much of a difference whether it's simmering or at a rolling boil.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:55 AM
horizontal rule
181

Maybe I will make risotto for dinner tonight.

I keep realizing there are all these foods I haven't made in years because they're in the "this is what boyfriends eat" category. I made hash browns this morning for myself, something I usually don't bother with. Risotto is another boyfriend food.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:57 AM
horizontal rule
182

Someone who writes that "after half an hour of stirring, and only a pan of crunchy rice to show for it, I have been known to lose my temper with the stuff" should not be writing about risotto, or food, or anything else. How is it possible to be so thoroughly flummoxed by risotto?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:12 AM
horizontal rule
183

182: That's kind of what I thought was interesting about it. And half the comments on the story are, "What's the problem? You throw some rice in a pot and boil it! It doesn't need any poncey stirring!"

180: I found my risotti were more successful by upping the heat all around. I had all of it too low, I think.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:16 AM
horizontal rule
184

Actually, the first few times I made risotto it went pretty wrong, and took a very long time to produce rice that was still too chalky at the centre. I'm fairly sure I over-fried the rice at the start, and then no amount of simmering would make it absorb stock.

re: 178

Believe it or not, quel horreur, I used to just make the stock up and keep it in a jug by the cooker.

I might as well just submit to swipple assimilation now.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:20 AM
horizontal rule
185

84: and thus need the word "Generic" inserted in there in order to get the joke, you need to be forceably placed in one of Standpipe's Reeducation Camps.

Generic response.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:31 AM
horizontal rule
186

I found my risotti were more successful by upping the heat all around. I had all of it too low, I think.

Whereas I have to remind myself not to turn the heat up too high on the rice-containing pot.

dinner tonight: fresh pasta with tomatoes, peas, green garlic. Dinner sometime later this week: motherfuckin' beef heart, and pea greens.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:43 AM
horizontal rule
187

I'm making some kind of chicken stew, with leeks and kale. I may decide to blend the veg and liquid into a smooth sauce, or I might just leave it with a more soup like consistency.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:47 AM
horizontal rule
188

ttaM is a wild man!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:47 AM
horizontal rule
189

I killed the chicken with a fire-hardened stick, naturally. And the serving bowls are made from the skulls of my enemies.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:50 AM
horizontal rule
190

Sharpen a stick at both ends, ttaM.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:51 AM
horizontal rule
191

Dinner tonight . . . Empress Taytu, I think. Nommmm.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:58 AM
horizontal rule
192

191: Oh hell I want Empress Taytu so bad right now. There's a new Ethiopian place in the Slope, Ghenet, that's really excellent, but Empress Taytu is the best.

In order to get over my risotto-for-one problem, I am having a girlfriend over for dinner. I think... a salad, crusty bread, leek risotto, and something for dessert. But what? Clafoutis and ice cream? I feel like I've made that too often recently and it will make the kitchen hot.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 12:03 PM
horizontal rule
193

My stick is sharpened at both ends,
A work of dreadful might;
And ah, my foes, and oh, my friends,
It's deadly in a fight.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 12:07 PM
horizontal rule
194

But what?

Strawberries!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 12:07 PM
horizontal rule
195

193 is excellent.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 12:08 PM
horizontal rule
196

Pots de creme? Creme caramel is nice.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 12:20 PM
horizontal rule
197

And the serving bowls are made from the skulls of my enemies.

Oddly enough, I just today learned about this guy for the very first time.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 1:52 PM
horizontal rule
198

OK! Who put their fingers in the jell-o?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 2:03 PM
horizontal rule
199

110: rfts and oud, let us know when you go to udupi, we could meet you there, now that we have a real babysitter.


Posted by: Molly | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 3:27 PM
horizontal rule
200

Oh crap I am dumb. Went to three different stores to procure stuff for risotto dinner, forgot the rice.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 3:47 PM
horizontal rule
201

Are freshwater fish seasonal?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 3:50 PM
horizontal rule
202

There is a fishing season in most places, but I don't think it's like strawberries or anything.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 3:55 PM
horizontal rule
203

Yeah, trout rhubarb pie is awful.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 4:01 PM
horizontal rule
204

I was just thinking that fish should be seasonal. I mean, they behave quite differently during the spawning season. Is that the only time salmon aren't good to eat? Does it affect the edibility? What about walleye? Cod?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 4:02 PM
horizontal rule
205

204: Plus, if you catch them after they breed, that's better for sustaining population size.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 4:03 PM
horizontal rule
206

At least these vanilla and chocolate pots de creme are going to be good.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 4:06 PM
horizontal rule
207

204, 205: There certainly are commercial fishing seasons, that are quite specific and complicated (here are Alaska's). I assume with some species there are follow-the-seasons strategies to get them from different geographies at different times.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 4:23 PM
horizontal rule
208

Or everyone just repackages Nile Perch.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 4:24 PM
horizontal rule
209

And in non-tropical places, they mostly spend the winter getting thinner and thinner, right?

I really don't know anything about this.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 4:30 PM
horizontal rule
210

Are you kidding me? How hard is it to grate your own cheese as you need it?

I cook a lot from scratch, but getting over this kind of attitude has made me so, so much happier. Am I going to buy pre-grated parmesan? No, of course not. But having a bag of shredded cheddar or jack or whatever in the freezer to throw in, say, eggs can make all the difference if I'm cooking for myself on a regular day, not a carefully-prepared-brunch-for-friends day.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:02 PM
horizontal rule
211

204: I'm not a fishologist, but I'm fairly certain cod aren't freshwater fish.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:08 PM
horizontal rule
212

In the freezer? You can freeze cheese? I did not know that. This household goes through cheese so fast, though, that it wouldn't have occurred to me.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:09 PM
horizontal rule
213

Walleye was the first freshwater fish I thought of and cod was the first saltwater fish.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:09 PM
horizontal rule
214

I think it's a mental thing rather than so much of a time saver. It's not necessarily that it takes very long to do things like cut a piece of cheese off a block, but if it feels stressful to count it among the 10 different things you have to do to get an omelet on the table in the morning, by all means, buy a bag of shredded.

I find that, the more stressful my day is going to be, the more I need some kind of elaborate breakfast plan to get myself to wake up. On days when I have nothing to do, toast and hummus is sufficient. Before a long teaching day, I'll make an asparagus omelet with toast and goat cheese, coffee with milk and a glass of orange juice... Otherwise, it's not worth getting out of bed.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:12 PM
horizontal rule
215

Half an hour before dinner isn't too soon to dress the salad, right?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:16 PM
horizontal rule
216

Nevermind. I am vowing to be less anal about having everything done before guests arrive. It's charming when someone arrives and there's still a little cooking going on. As it is, I'm making her text me from the bridge so I can start the risotto.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:30 PM
horizontal rule
217

It's charming when someone arrives and there's still a little cooking going on.

Definitely. I wouldn't dress the salad until the very last minute, myself. But it depends on the salad.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 5:40 PM
horizontal rule
218

Potato salad should always be dressed in advance of the arrival of guests. Caesar salad, not so much.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 6:01 PM
horizontal rule
219

Light leafy green salads, not so much. Heavy, toothsome leafy green salads (kale salad), go right ahead.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 6:24 PM
horizontal rule
220

If it's going to be a super fun dinner party, no one should be dressed.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 6:34 PM
horizontal rule
221

If I'd known it was going to be that kind of dinner party...


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 6:35 PM
horizontal rule
222

199: Of course!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 6:46 PM
horizontal rule
223

It's charming when someone arrives and there's still a little cooking going on.

Rewrite this just a little and it could come out of Keene's translation of the Tsurezuregusa.

It is charming when, arriving in someone's home as a guest to dinner, one sees that the cooking is not yet quite finished.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 8:50 PM
horizontal rule
224

Somewhat disappointing dinner. The risotto was good but not great. I don't know about you folks, but I virtually never end up making an elaborate meal that is actually bad - I pay too much attention on those. But sort of meh happens on a regular basis with new dishes. You have this idea of how the flavours are going to play together and they don't comply. ALso the wine sucks. Beate Knebel Winninger Bruckstuk Spaetlese Feinherb 2005 is to be avoided. Or maybe it just needs several more years to come together. Mosels are supposed to be good either immediately or after laying down for a long time. In any case, all the characteristics that make a Mosel Riesling great, but all in a jagged clash of acidity, fruit, gasoline and sweet. Plus, and I should have noticed this, 13% is too high an alcohol level for a Mosel.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:15 PM
horizontal rule
225

Dinner was good. Slightly too much dressing on the salad, but it was good dressing, and the risotto was excellent. The vanilla bean pots de cremes were fabulous, but the chocolate ones sort of separated in an ugly way. I think the temperatures were wrong or the chocolate was wrong.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:30 PM
horizontal rule
226

Then my friend and I went to a party where we didn't really like or know anyone there, except a guy came in whom I really only know from FB, and I felt compelled to jump up and give him a hug because I love his FB posts so much.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:38 PM
horizontal rule
227

Then you found an arm, a leg, five dollars, and a wife.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:39 PM
horizontal rule
228

I thought I lost an earring, but then I came home and found that I never put the left one in! See, I know how to tell a story.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:40 PM
horizontal rule
229

You'll never complete the hokey pokey if you keep forgetting these things, AWB.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 9:45 PM
horizontal rule
230

It's not necessarily that it takes very long to do things like cut a piece of cheese off a block

With me, it's often more that I don't want to make any more dishes. No dishwasher here.

We hosted a bourbon tasting tonight. The cherry sorbet I made was spectacular, but the indian pudding that was to go with it was a disaster-- it somehow just didn't come together. It tasted quite good, but the texture was not something I would serve to guests.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:43 PM
horizontal rule
231

Ah, see, I am bad and just keep a butcher block out all the time and give it a very halfhearted rinse between washings.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:46 PM
horizontal rule
232

Oh and, indian pudding like native american pudding or south asian? I've made the former and thought the same thing, but I've never made Asian Indian pudding.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:47 PM
horizontal rule
233

Pasta update: the pasta was good.

Cherry sorbet sounds good. I asked the almond guy at the farmer's market whether he'd have sour cherries this year; he said yes, late june or a bit later, ask the week before and if they were going to be there the next week to get there at 8am (when the market opens). Last year as I was scooping up a few pounds into a bag some lady came along and bought the entirety that remained. There oughtta be a law.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:48 PM
horizontal rule
234

I bet one could make cherry sorbet the way nosflow and I have made strawberry sorbet from that FXcuisine recipe, in which one just food-mills fruit, adds a bit of sugar, maybe lemon juice (I forget), and bob's your uncle.

When I was just a kid, my favorite recipe, which I used every time I was in a play and got a dozen roses from my family, was rose sorbet. Oh hell, rose sorbet. I should make that again sometime. During my MA program, we had a lilac tree outside our apartment and I'd make lilac sorbet from the blossoms. It was good, but not crazy-good like rose sorbet.

I am watching Les Yeux sans visage right now and obviously it's not too gripping.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:54 PM
horizontal rule
235

I do the same thing with our butcher block, but it's more the grater. Cleaning those things is annoying, especially the microplane-- I feel like I have to wash it right away if I am to have any hope of getting the stuff off it.

Indian pudding as in Native American. New England anyway. I've made it before with this recipe (for my last bourbon tasting, actually) and it was fine. Dunno what happened this time.

For sorbet I always use frozen cherries.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:56 PM
horizontal rule
236

Yeah, 1kg fruit, 100 g sugar, juice of one lemon. I have done it with strawberries and with a strawberry/raspberry mixture, but I think you wouldn't get very much liquid that way from cherries.

Roses and nectarines go together well.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:56 PM
horizontal rule
237

234: That's exactly how I made it, but with a blender instead of a food mill. Pureed most of the cherries with with just enough milk to get them to fully blend up, plus some sugar and yes, lemon juice. Then I roughly chopped the last of the cherries, and tossed everything into the ice cream maker.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 10:58 PM
horizontal rule
238

I did it with the strawberry/raspberry mixture because I was afraid the fruit wasn't quite flavorful enough, even with the whites removed. That was incredible. I think I'd want to guarantee my strawberries caused weeping on their own before doing pure strawberry.

What recipe were you using for Indian pudding, Blume? Mine was just cornmeal and molasses and stuff, and it was a little yech. When I had it at a friend's house, it was excellent, and there couldn't be enough to go around.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:00 PM
horizontal rule
239

I really wish this movie were better. :-(


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:01 PM
horizontal rule
240

The advantage of a food mill (or post-blender straining) with strawberries & raspberries is that you can remove the seeds. I guess it would also work that way with the skins of cherries? But they would be significantly less bothersome.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:01 PM
horizontal rule
241

I really wish I didn't have roommates, or at least roommates who are always home when I'm home. Go out with your friends, social people!


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:03 PM
horizontal rule
242

I am in love with my food mill. I use it for everything. It doesn't mess with starches and glutens, only removes unpalatables, etc. My mom food-milled everything I ate before I had teeth, so maybe it's texture-memory or something, but it's so lovely.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:04 PM
horizontal rule
243

I used the one that was in the NYT a few years ago. It was published the week before I had my last bourbon tasting and I made it on a whim, not even ever having had it before, and it was such a good match with the cherry sorbet and the bourbon. Milk, molasses and sugar cooked together, then cornmeal whisked in bit by bit, then cinnamon and ground ginger and salt and butter. All of that baked at 300 for three hours. Last time it got thick, like a dense flan, but this time all the cornmeal settled to the bottom and and the rest of it separated a bit.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:05 PM
horizontal rule
244

241: I went out with my friend, but we went to a party where there was a man I was almost lovers with once and it was awkward.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:05 PM
horizontal rule
245

Yeah, the cherry skins aren't a problem.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:06 PM
horizontal rule
246

That sounds delicious.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:06 PM
horizontal rule
247

only removes unpalatables

Would that it worked on more than just food.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:09 PM
horizontal rule
248

I bet it could handle soylent green just fine.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:10 PM
horizontal rule
249

Wow, this facial surgery is really wildly inaccurate.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:16 PM
horizontal rule
250

Apropos cherries, I'm pondering a cherry wine, specifically a port-style cherry wine made like so: crush and vinify a mess of cherries, distill the wine, soak more fresh cherries in it. Crush and vinify another mess of cherries, and add the distillate to arrest the fermentation so you end up with about the same sugar and alcohol content as port. Doesn't that sound glorious? Problem is, it's a 14-hour round trip to get the cherries, and I'd need to make two trips. Hmm.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:21 PM
horizontal rule
251

No problem, just borrow the cherries from the clear creek guy. Aren't you pals or something? Surely he'd do you a solid.

But MAYBE you don't want to admit to him your home distilling plans.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:25 PM
horizontal rule
252

Sounds like slivovitz.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:26 PM
horizontal rule
253

Doesn't sound a thing like slivovitz, which is made with plums and wouldn't involve adding distillate to fermenting fruit.

Not a thing!

Besides, good slivovitz is glorious.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:27 PM
horizontal rule
254

/testy


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:29 PM
horizontal rule
255

The only slivovitz I've had is cherry slivovitz, which is maybe a Serbian thing. But it's great except for the part where you think you can do anything at all. Also, I know nothing about the production of liquor, so I don't know what I'm talking about.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:30 PM
horizontal rule
256

Surgery is only accurate as-applied.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:31 PM
horizontal rule
257

More like brandy maybe? Seems like it would be very strong, either way, and I want some.... Jesus.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:32 PM
horizontal rule
258

Eastern Europe is home to many fruit brandies.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:33 PM
horizontal rule
259

It's only really worth my while if I get cherries from my wife's cousins' orchards up in northern WA. The pretty ones they sell to Whole Foods and such places, but the processor fruit I could get for cheap. Plus, I'd want to get a lot. But it would be so super-delicious, I really should try to make it happen.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:34 PM
horizontal rule
260

Slivovitz is a brandy, and what Jesus is describing is making a cherry brandy, then adding it to cherry wine to make a fortified cherry wine.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:35 PM
horizontal rule
261

Rent a truck so you only have to make one trip.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:36 PM
horizontal rule
262

If you already have a truck, just rent a bigger one.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:36 PM
horizontal rule
263

According to my Serbian friend, slivovitz is notorious for having made a lot of people blind, but that's only because making alcohol during the Bad Old Days there is similar to alcohol-making among our hill people. I've had my share of Appalachian moonshine as well as dodgy slivovitz, so obviously I'm not too worried. Serbian Friend also sez there was a time when opium was the best babysitter. Lots of kids her parents' age don't remember much about childhood.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:38 PM
horizontal rule
264

Seriously, Jesus, get a bigass truck and I'll buy some of your dodgy cherry whatever. Sounds amazing.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:39 PM
horizontal rule
265

This reminds me that LB has a friend who makes peach moonshine. I wish I had some.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:40 PM
horizontal rule
266

I endorse 264. I will also buy some of your other dodgy things, if they exist.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:41 PM
horizontal rule
267

God, the only reason I am watching this movie is, IIRC, because the dance instructor from Suspiria is in it. Why does it suck so much?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:41 PM
horizontal rule
268

260 is correct. The problem with 261 is that it's a two-stage process; I'd need to have the original kirsch ready for the second batch. Alternatively, I could make the kirsch this year and do the rest next year, but life's too short, man!

I would be using a truck anyway. That's another downside; I hate highway driving with a big load stuff. When we get grapes, it's usually about 1500 pounds at a time, and I tend to drive white-knuckled with that kind of weight.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:41 PM
horizontal rule
269

Others in the wine cabal are interested. We'll see.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:42 PM
horizontal rule
270

When my Serbian Friend's friends from Serbia were in town, they shared a bunch of amazing stories about how they either adore or despise mushrooms because, during the bad times, mushrooms were the only free food. You just had to forage a lot. Whether you enjoyed foraging or not seemed to play a big role in the relationship to mushrooms.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:43 PM
horizontal rule
271

I hate highway driving with a big load stuff.

Then you probably should not watch Thieves' Highway.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:49 PM
horizontal rule
272

OMG, all that fruit! What a sad movie.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:52 PM
horizontal rule
273

You can get really, really sick of wild mushrooms in a good year. On the other hand marinated mushrooms are wonderful, so if you don't want to eat them fresh you can jar them. Cherry slivovitz sounds strange, and I do mean sounds - the name comes from the word for plum. I've got some good stuff made from wild plums, but at 140 proof I almost never have any. It's too good to mix, too strong to drink straight up.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:58 PM
horizontal rule
274

Couldn't you just water it down? Or would that count as mixing?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-15-10 11:59 PM
horizontal rule
275

We had it straight. It tastes marvelous. As she warned us, the problem is that it tastes marvelous, but is pretty much the alcoholic equivalent of crack.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:16 AM
horizontal rule
276

It's not as good mixed with water. I've had it for a couple years now, and I feel bad not drinking it since it's some rare stuff my relatives got me for Christmas one year, but as good as it tastes, it burns your throat and gives your stomach a nasty jolt going down.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:21 AM
horizontal rule
277

I had some strawberry brandy that was really exceptional.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:21 AM
horizontal rule
278

By brandy do you mean eau de vie or something made cognac/calvados style?


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:24 AM
horizontal rule
279

eau de vie.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:24 AM
horizontal rule
280

278 raises another question: whether to put the kirsch on oak. Better brandy makes better port(-style fortified wine), but the end product would likely sit in a barrel for a while anyway. The possibilities!


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:30 AM
horizontal rule
281

Jesus, make this.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:36 AM
horizontal rule
282

This reminds me of a spectacularly divine aged-on-oak pear eau de vie I had once!

Really, wouldn't letting the brandy age even just a year resolve the two-trips problem nicely?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:39 AM
horizontal rule
283

We do want it sometime.

At the risk of turning into bob mcmanus, [spoilers!!] Eyes Without a Face is the boring story of a woman whose father made her unpretty and now murders people trying to correct this error. It's not even remotely as interesting as you think it might be, at least until the dogs eat the father limb from limb.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:45 AM
horizontal rule
284

I love this label.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:48 AM
horizontal rule
285

My pal Matt did a fine job with those labels. That one's my favorite.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:51 AM
horizontal rule
286

at least until the dogs eat the father limb from limb.

A very McManusian touch.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 1:09 AM
horizontal rule
287

286: All it would take to make that a very Emersonian touch would be to substitute hogs for dogs.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 6:33 AM
horizontal rule
288

Or generally Unfoggedian: substitute blogs for dogs.


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 6:46 AM
horizontal rule
289

To make it Kiplingesque, substitute wogs for dogs.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 7:05 AM
horizontal rule
290

To make it Douglas Cheek-esque, substitute C.H.U.D.s for dogs.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 7:14 AM
horizontal rule
291

And for the Passover version, simply substitute frogs. (Likewise, in London or San Francisco, one could have the father eaten by carnivorous fogs.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 7:47 AM
horizontal rule
292

To make it dated, childlike, and inexplicable, substitute POGS©!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 8:14 AM
horizontal rule
293

Jesus, make this.

And then give some to me. Meeeee!

This is one of my very favorite eaux de vie. But I also enjoy most everything made by these people. Even the very odd things.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 10:35 AM
horizontal rule
294

270: they shared a bunch of amazing stories about how they either adore or despise mushrooms because, during the bad times, mushrooms were the only free food. You just had to forage a lot.

My wife's father is on the despise side (for onions as well) for the same reason. He spent a tough year or so in a small town in the Massif Central of France (following Vienna->Paris) as a teenager before getting over to New York via Lisbon.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 11:21 AM
horizontal rule
295

To make it steampunk, substitute cogs for dogs.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 11:44 AM
horizontal rule
296

295: Oooh, I've been playing Cogs obsessively on my iPhone. If you like that kind of thing (sliding puzzle pieces around) it's a good one.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 12:03 PM
horizontal rule
297

To make it quaint, substitute clogs for cogs.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 1:04 PM
horizontal rule
298

To make it affectionate, subsitute snogs.


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 1:12 PM
horizontal rule
299

And for the Passover version, simply substitute frogs.

Or, if you're the patient type, pollywogs.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 1:15 PM
horizontal rule
300

KOG(E)!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 1:15 PM
horizontal rule
301

To make it creepy, substitute sprogs.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 1:21 PM
horizontal rule
302

To make it mythological, substitute Gog and Magog.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 1:40 PM
horizontal rule
303

For a nautical flavor, substitute quahogs.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 1:57 PM
horizontal rule
304

Or if you're a racist/Enid Blyton, golliwogs.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 2:00 PM
horizontal rule
305

If you're a pirate, or more likely, an evangelical cartoonist, substitute Grog.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 2:03 PM
horizontal rule
306

Or if you're an unfrozen cave man, substitute Trog


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 2:06 PM
horizontal rule
307

Returning to an earlier subject: at the supermarket just now, I saw this strange development in risotto-based foods.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 2:15 PM
horizontal rule
308

New York style? Don't they think we have better things to do with our risotto than convey dip to our gobs with it?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 2:18 PM
horizontal rule
309

Apparently not.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 2:33 PM
horizontal rule
310

...at least until the Ogged eats the Farber limb from limb.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:02 PM
horizontal rule
311

In other food-related news, I just tossed some asparagus in olive oil, salt, and peppers, and then threw it directly on the grill. Fucking. Delicious.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:05 PM
horizontal rule
312

Now the front of my car looks stupid and the asparagus is covered in dead bugs.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:11 PM
horizontal rule
313

It's a VW Asparabus.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:15 PM
horizontal rule
314

You tossed it in peppers? Like, bell peppers?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:24 PM
horizontal rule
315

Peppers? I can't type. Make that singular.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:25 PM
horizontal rule
316

Poblanooooooooooooos?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:25 PM
horizontal rule
317

Actually it was habaneros*, and now my pee smells like asparagus on fire.

*why do people (no one here, I'm sure) say "habañero"? Don't do that, people who do that.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:27 PM
horizontal rule
318

*why do people (no one here, I'm sure) say "habañero"? Don't do that, people who do that.

To go with "jalapeño".

What about the "h", is that supposed to be silent?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:29 PM
horizontal rule
319

Most of the letters are silent. You just pronounce it "baño".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:39 PM
horizontal rule
320

Huh. Second sentence at wikipedia: "It is sometimes spelled habañero—the diacritical mark being added as a hyperforeignism"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:44 PM
horizontal rule
321

I was just about to link to the Wikipedia article. Great minds.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:46 PM
horizontal rule
322

The article on hyperforeignisms is great. I've been mispronouncing jejune. If I pronounce it the correct way, will anyone understand me?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:51 PM
horizontal rule
323

Also, margarine. In that case, I think it's just how it's pronounced, even though it's stupid to do so. Lingerie, too. We say dumb things, but we don't know how to stop.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:55 PM
horizontal rule
324

Couldn't it be due to cross contamination with "Habañera"? As in Carmen? As in Gilligan's Island and "I ask to be or not to be. This is the question that I put to me."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 3:57 PM
horizontal rule
325

Octopodes! A friend of mine got obsessed with octopodes, and made sure we all knew the correct plural.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 4:08 PM
horizontal rule
326

The article on hyperforeignisms is great.

The other day I heard someone pronounce "prix fixe" as "pree fixay".


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 4:17 PM
horizontal rule
327

326: Ugh. I'm not sure if that's more or less grating than "pree fee," which I have heard from a waiter's lips.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 4:23 PM
horizontal rule
328

Octopodes and clitorides are the bane of the undereducated pedant.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 4:24 PM
horizontal rule
329

Fowler's Modern English Usage states that "the only acceptable plural in English is octopuses," and that octopi is misconceived and octopodes pedantic.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 4:25 PM
horizontal rule
330

But then we have Fowler: The term, then, is obviously a relative one: my pedantry is your scholarship, his reasonable accuracy, her irreducible minimum of education and someone else's ignorance.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 4:28 PM
horizontal rule
331

clitorides

Tell me more.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:19 PM
horizontal rule
332

331: Tell me more.

Small erectile female organs located within the anterior junction of the labia minora that develop from the same embryonic mass of tissue as the penis and are responsive to sexual stimulation. If I remember correctly each woman only has one, but neb's clearly the expert.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:28 PM
horizontal rule
333

30 of them.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:28 PM
horizontal rule
334

Couldn't it be due to cross contamination with "Habañera"? As in Carmen?

But that doesn't have a tilde either, because both come from "Havana". (Go ahead, refer me to Standpipe's blog.)


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:30 PM
horizontal rule
335

333: That explains a few things.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:32 PM
horizontal rule
336

It does. Like, if there were 30 of them, and only one worked, that would explain so much.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:34 PM
horizontal rule
337

331 A group of minor Greek deities.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:39 PM
horizontal rule
338

Or a picturesque mountain range. "Should any press inquire after me, tell them I'm off hiking in the Clitorides!"


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:47 PM
horizontal rule
339

338: Now why didn't I think of that?


Posted by: Mark Sanford | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:49 PM
horizontal rule
340

339: You never had before, so why would you start all of a sudden?


Posted by: Jenny Sanford | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 5:54 PM
horizontal rule
341

331, 337: Was the meteor shower good for you too?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 05-16-10 6:08 PM
horizontal rule