horsepeepee writes:
This country very great cuontry. But we too soft on a peple who comit a crime. In mine father cuontry where come from long time go, policemans holding down a criminal and make caca on his chest. this very much stop a criminal from ever want to make other crime in a future. Even in mine home state of mississippis we need police to make caca on criminal thugs. please think through mine idea. Thank you.
Here's one to file under "Republicans having to wade through the fruits of their labor": Rand Paul on mountaintop removal mining:
"I don't think anyone's going to be missing a mountain or two."
Wow.
Let's change all Christmas songs to have happier endings.
As in the Three Kings don't warn Mary and Joseph about the coming slaughter of the innocents?
As Milbank says, it's hard to tell the difference between genuine Republican nutters and parody.
Well I suppose it sounded like a good idea at the meeting. It is not outside the realm of possibility that a good idea be presented in this forum, but I mean, really. Who is the staffer that gets to look for the needle in the haystack? Just like youtube has something like 10 years of video uploaded every minute, but who has time to watch?
Wow, 4 gets it right. Let's play "truth or parody?":
"Invade and destroy any country that doesn't agree to cancel our debt. Forcibly extract payment from countries who owe us money."
"We don't need national (socialist) health care! We already have national, free health PRAYER!"
"The moment the Republicans take back the House, the Obama Death Panels should be stripped from the Health Care bill, and Obama should be impeached."
English as our first langauage! Okay I am college graduate very accomplished women, I playe hard to earn my grades. Now I job searching for the last two years. I guess what?... do not speak spanish just english and I get trune down from the job. I am sick of this treamnet. I am half mexican and amercian, however I am a Republican since 1980. I attended a college and undergrad, now I am mother of one, and I will raise her one other way. Nonsence why should we have to learn a second language when we (USA) american have already have a language.
6: I'm thinking the middle one is a parody.
The other two I believe are the genuine stink.
Are these fantasies any worse than Tom Friedman's wanting a dictatorship like China's, just for a little while to get things done?
9: You would trune down this women one other way? Do you guess what?... hate Amarica?
"Protect the sanctity of life by 'taking care of' everybody who supports abortion. "
"Instead of morning announcements, all elenentary and high schools should be required to play Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh's radio broadcasts."
"Perhaps we could come up with some kind of final solution for immigration, whereby we could deport illegal immigrants and other undesirables to make living space for honest American citizens, granting them the assets of those who have broken our laws to enhance their lives and America."
10
Are these fantasies any worse than Tom Friedman's wanting a dictatorship like China's, just for a little while to get things done?
Maybe not. Friedman is indeed horrible. These are a lot funnier, though.
The challenge is finding out which are serious. I'm sure at least a few are, since the page was created by Republicans, but I know there are a lot of spoofers out there.
11: Shut up! I have already have a language!
I also ran across a number of:
"This comment was flagged by the community as offensive."
and
"This comment was flagged by the community as inappropriate."
Which means all those others... weren't flagged.
11: I don't hate it . . . ; I don't hate it . . . I don't hate it . . . ; I don't. I don't! I don't hate it! I don't hate it!
The challenge is finding out which are serious.
I pity the intern who gets assigned this task. Like taking a sip from a fire hose.
I love you, peep.
Those Introspective Patriot posts are epic. Here's me masturbating with a flag. Here's me masturbating about the Twin Towers. Here's me masturbating...
Whoa, did they just delete all the posts under "American Values"?
Damn, man. I'm trying to create an account, but I guess the server is swamped.
Ah:
Unavailable! A very high volume of Americans are speaking out right now. Please wait a moment and try again.
Great website, guys! Good job!
Why do they hate people who care about American Values?
Here's a man who cares about American Values:
"Fewer taxes, more mixed martial arts."
Are these fantasies any worse than Tom Friedman's wanting a dictatorship like China's, just for a little while to get things done?
As a means of effective governance, representative democracy isn't exactly covering itself in glory at the moment.
When Google has trouble finding the site, it suggests "America speak gout." I'll say.
Oh, you wanted effective governance? We thought you wanted personal liberty with minimal governance. Our bad.
That guy has a point about faster dolphins.
Looks like all the ideas have disappeared...
A very high volume of Americans are speaking out right now.
Kiloliters? Megaliters?
I can't believe they blanked it all. What a loss of creativity! Hopefully someone downloaded it for posterity.
Cubic feet, please, Bave. This is America.
It makes me glad that the Republican party is so willing to listen to its constituency in a public forum where we can all share our real ideas about the direction our country should go in. I'm starting to see the appeal of the "free market" political economy.
The site even lets you create your own tags (the best one of which is "not-that-im-gay-or-anything").
It's like the people that created the site had never seen the Internet before.
And since it is advertised as *not* being associated with the 2010 campaign and is being run out of congressional offices, it is all on the the taxpayer's dime.
Don't think this lets you off the hook, Dana Milbank!
I can't believe they blanked it all. What a loss of creativity! Hopefully someone downloaded it for posterity.
You can still get to the posts through the list of tags here.
I went to all the trouble of signing up, and now they've taken away everything I wanted to vote for. Why do you hate democracy, congressional Republicans?
:(
Some people seem to miss the sister valley to Yosemite that we flooded, but those people are DFHs, so who cares what they miss?
Heh. That ain't nuttin.
http://www.internationalrivers.org/en/china/three-gorges-dam
"Ice cream should only be vanilla. No more chocolate on the outside. Keep chocolate and vanilla ice cream separately. If the jews got one thing right is that you shouldn't eat shrimp and steak together."
43. Balderdash. There is nothing as American as "Surf and Turf". Take your Maoist inspired separation of foods elsewhere.
VOTE ON THIS IDEA!
Why the heck does dems really been when even as they go to as if we try to look for that detail when they spend us so we can't just vote on the term that the activist will turn over at the end of the session!?
So true, Iliketurtles. Why the heck indeed.
If the jews got one thing right is that[...]
I'd like to see a whole series of comments there that use this construction.
Or a new poem thread here based on it. Whichever.
I feel a new internet convention being added. It is sort of like a disturbance in the force, but not as gas painy.
If the jews got one thing right is that walls make fantastic neighbors.
If the Jews got one thing right it's that you don't need your whole dick.
I can't find the one I ran across a while ago that made the argument that the Bible clearly only allows Christians to marry, and now it's in the news that Jews want to get married too???!!!
I love the internet a LOT right now.
If the jews got one thing right is that you shouldn't pass your children through the fire to Moloch.
If the jews got one thing right is that bacon you're cooking?
It's like the people that created the site had never seen the Internet before.
I don't know, I see Emerson's fingerprints all over this.
BWAHAHAHA! You'll never catch me! I've become more powerful than you can even imagine!
Fucking sweet:
The 1st Amendment dictates that all Americans may practice their religion as they like, but, since the wearing of a hijab is a clear and present danger to national security, some compromise must be found. Therefore, from this day hence, the hijab should be banned. However, since I am mindful of the desire of Muslims to remain humble in the eyes of Allah, from this day forth, all Muslim women may, in place of a hijab, wear a Spiderman costume instead. This will remove the security threat and allow Muslim women to remain completely covered at all times.
It's pretty gutsy of the RNC to just admit they have absolutely no ideas and ask their voters to whip up a platform for them. I think that's kind of a first in politics, or American politics anyway.
But aren't the people on that site just echoing back to them the things they're reading from mouthpieces of the conservative movement that the RNC spearheads? Where are the new ideas supposed to come from? It's like watching a drunk ask people to pour his vomit back in his mouth in hopes of improving his lifestyle.
56: There are a few vague "reduce spending" comments, but most of the ones that seem to come from actual Republicans say things like "Ban all campaign donations" or "Refuse to pay Congress unless they show up to work at least 30 hours per week!" I.e., stuff a Republican congressperson would never support or vote for. I'm not seeing a lot of platform echoing going on.
So...I signed up with a profile and started submitting ideas, and then I noticed that somehow the site had switched me to someone else's username and avatar. I can't switch back! So now some poor random dude from East Greenbush NY will, if he ever checks the site again, find an odd bunch of comments attributed to him.
Anyhoo, the site's pretty buggy.
57. That's the conundrum for the RNC, isn't it. There is real power and passion in the Tea Partiers, but what the saner one's want would directly cut the power of Congress to the point of being no fun to be a Congressman anymore, so who do they think will vote for it?
I dunno, DS, this one doesn't seem to spring from conservative movement mouthpieces: "The GOP needs to do the following things in order to regain the support of the American people, as well as to help our great Country. 1. Help to strengthen our social safety net. No one should be hungry in America. 2. Invest more heavily in protection and restoration of the environment of our Nation. 3. Make sure that public schools from kindergarten through 12th grade are strong and free from political bias, such as the shameful display recently seen in TX. 4. Make college affordable to all would would like to go. 5. Improve workplace safety laws, make it safe to do a good day's work. 5. Increase the minimum wage."
And it's got 11 votes!
This one is pretty good:
Stop teaching Arabic numerals. It's un-American. We need real American numbers.
I have a feeling that this is what a lot of talk radio would sound like if they didn't screen the calls to exclude liberals et al. The Republicans in congress are so stupid that they don't recognize talk radio as theater and no doubt had no clue that this website would wind up as enormous joke.
I'm kind of sad that it's all joke comments now. The earlier ones were funnier because possibly real.
What, did Comcast send its employees over to comment or something?
"End the idea of Net Neutrality. American's do not need the government censoring our websites for us. Leave the internet alone. "
Fix the plumbing in my apartment so I can shower after my run in a couple of hours. And don't use brown people to do it this time. They make the water turn yellow and give me gas when I drink it straight from the tap like a water hoseMy. Chippy in there.
Don't you just hate it when you get ready for bed, and just when you begin to settle in under the nice comfy sheets and fluff your pillow you realize-- you kinda have to go to the bathroom?m, yes, yes oh, yes
A very high volume of Americans are speaking out right now.
Please wait a moment and try again.
So does John Boehner ever go on the Sunday talking head shows? I would really, really like to see someone question him closely about how this initiative went.
Eh, the script is right there already, though: the site was infiltrated, infiltrated, I tell you! The coastal elites are so snotty they wouldn't leave room for the real Americans to speak! It was a set-up!
the site was infiltrated, infiltrated, I tell you! The coastal elites are so snotty they wouldn't leave room for the real Americans to speak! It was a set-up!
But...that is in fact true. Except for "Americans" which should be "Republicans".
Anyhoo, the site's pretty buggy.
Thank God that the Rent-a-Boy website works better than this one.
I'm pretty sure this one's not parody:
"Here are my ideas for solving the illegal alien problem. Since our jails are filled with illegal aliens I propose we subcontract a prison in Guatamala. We then could make it mandatory that all illegal aliens go directly there. We'd save million in prison costs and the citizens of Guatamala would gain a source of income that would directly put money into their economy, thus providing job and helping to prevent illegal immigration. "
They do mostly seem to be jokes now, but this one is at least upfront about it:
My neighbor made a Republican website that can't withstand more than two people posting at once, despite having "NASA technology". Please arrest him, or at the very least, ridicule his stupid website.
I just created an account and submitted some ideas to "Job Creation".
I'd love to read your awesome job-creating ideas, Goneril, but the VERY HIGH VOLUME of Americans speaking out right now won't let me.
And now I'm getting a runtime error. They iz doin it rong.
71: Is this you? "We should invent and patent more colors. Like fuchsia, but not that because it's already been invented."
If the Jews got one thing right is that when writing lines of poetry
Oh wait that was the octometricality thread. Oh well. I was never gonna get out of that rhyme alive anyway.
(Grow a tree.)
75.last: In casting about for a rhyme came across apretty great word variant:
alcoholometry - The process of estimating the percentage of pure or absolute alcohol in a spirituous liquid. Sometimes contracted to alcoömetry.
"I have watched saddly as what use to be a proud and intelligent GOP (although not perfect) cannibalised itself into a state of shear ignorance. W.Buckly, R.Regan and A.Lincoln are rolling over in thier graves"
||
Off to the wilds of Staten Island for court. I'll probably be eaten by lions.
|>
There's some Republican here who wants to add an amendment to some bill that would allow the police to seize the cars of people they suspect to be illegal immigrants. He's from the South Shore, if anyone knows anyone living in that area.
This is happening here too. All candidates for the Labour leadership who have a serious chance of winning getting on the final ballot, are competing for the racist anti-immigration vote. This is after the BNP was wiped out in local government less than a month ago. I'm actually rather scared.
Off to the wilds of Staten Island for court.
I went to Staten Island for the first time just a few weeks ago. Staten Island: NYC's red state borough.
No lions actually on the ferry. From the water SI looks surprisingly civilized. Will report if attacked by wildlife en route to courthouse.
Come on, LB. Lots of people live on Staten Island. No more than a few can be eaten by wildlife every day.
No more than a few can be eaten by wildlife every day.
You goddamn liberals and your quotas.
The process of estimating the percentage of pure or absolute alcohol in a spirituous liquid. Sometimes contracted to alcoömetry.
Also known as "drinking shots". "Yep. That's 40% alright."
This may be a fluky courtroom, but SI attys are young. NY county, Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx, the modal litigator at a randomly chosen motion calendar call is a fiftysomething man. I'm sitting in a courtroom full of thirtysomethings -- opposing counsel on my case is older than me, but I don't think anyone else is.
People are fascinated by my anthropological comments on SI, right?
Everybody's waiting for the lions.
Had you really never been to Staten Island before?
I'm waiting for the lions
Briefcase of court briefs in my hand
Up Staten Island, long ferry ride
Feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive
I'm waiting for the lions
Hey, lawyer lady, what you doin' downtown?
Hey, lawyer lady, you chasin' our wildlife around?
Oh pardon me sir, it's the furthest from my mind
I'm just lookin' for some dear, dear friends of mine
I'm waiting for the lions
I'd ridden the ferry, certainly. I honestly can't remember if I'd ever left the ferry terminal. Seems as if I should have, sometime, but I can't recall it.
89: Sure.
93: I can't decide whether my happiness that you chose Velvet Underground outweighs my disappointment that you didn't choose Loverboy.
Staten Island is the most suburban borough in New York City[citation needed]
Wikipedia is offended on Staten Island's behalf.
94: This is my exact situation. I've ridden the ferry -- oh! and I've driven across going from NJ to JFK airport.
I'll probably be eaten by lions.
Hello Unfogged, Hello my fans,
Here I am on Staten Island
Court is very entertaining
And I think we'll have fun when we start arraigning.
Hey, lawyer lady, what you doin' downtown?
Staten Island, the real downtown.
I went to Staten Island and found a lion in the courtroom
Rushed out into the lobby screaming Lion! Lion!
Two locals pulled their heavily gelled hair and banged the window shut
I hurried home and stayed two days
Got on line to the Mineshaft
who'd banned me for posting an extensive analogy involving shrimp
'It's happened' I panted 'There's a Lion in my courtroom'
'In Wisconsin dot com' they replied and logged off
99: downtown's just a direction, Stormcrow.
YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM FUCKIN' KIDS LAWYERS FROM STATEN THEY SMASHIN' EVERYTHING IN ANY SHAPE FORM OR FASHION.
101: downtown's just a direction, Stormcrow.
Precisely. The direction in which Staten Island lies starting from civilization.
ABA AIN'T NOTHIN' TA FUCK WIT.
Hey I'm Walking Here is doing a walk across Staten Island pretty soon. This saturday!
"""
This Saturday (5/29) I'll be leading a walk through beautiful Staten Island. Yes, I said beautiful. Pristine beaches, overgrown forests, hillside mansions, a mountain vista and a slice at Joe and Pat's. Okay, there'll also be an abandoned highway, but we'll just be walking on that because it's cool. Expect this to take a whole (awesome) day--18 miles in total. We'll be ending at a beach so if you're up for swimming bring a suit. There'll be a place to change.
Meet at 8:45am under the first "S" in the big Staten Island ferry sign outside the Manhattan Staten Island Ferry Terminal. We'll be going rain or shine. Don't be late or you'll miss the boat!
Ned
Full route description: St. George, Silver Lake Park, Grymes Hill, Wagner College, Clove Lakes Park, Todt Hill, Staten Island's "greenbelt" trails, Moses' Mountain, Lighthouse Hill, Historic Richmond, St. Andrew's Church, Great Kills national park and beach. There'll be convenient chances to duck out at miles 6.5 and 14. (This is a combination of the first halves of HIWH walks #13 and #30.)
"""
107: Todt Hill, highest point on the eastern seacoast south of Maine.
107: It's pretty irresponsible of Ned not to mention, not even cryptically, the danger of being eaten by lions.
Todt Hill, highest point on the eastern seacoast south of Maine.[citation needed]
||
Attention Pittsburghers! This dude is a friend and generally awesome guy. You should go see his show if you are into artsy-type things.
|>
110: This is disputed by the Twin Lights of Atlantic Highlands, NJ (about which the very same thing is said, "highest point south of Maine"). Kraab and I said the Highlands win.
114:
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (December 2008)
Geez. Maybe the world really is ending in 2012.
"A second, much larger volcano in Iceland is showing signs that it may be about to erupt, scientists have warned."
"The threat of an above-average 2010 Atlantic hurricane season has increased over the last month and it now promises to be 'very active,' a leading forecaster said Wednesday. The warning comes as the season also sees an unusual factor added to the mix: the Gulf oil disaster."
Spending the next couple years in a barbiturate haze is starting to look appealing.
Team Monmouth Co.! Duh!
Also, a friend from college's family had one of these bungalows. The link doesn't give all the info, but basically what happened was Robert Moses eminent domained them back in the 50s, but when nothing was done with the land the families all quietly moved back. Sometime afterwards, the city (state?), unwilling to give or sell back the land, but not intending to do anything with it, gave the families leases for their bungalows (but the land stayed public, I think). And so it went for about 50 years until last summer when the city (state?) told the family that it would not be renewing the leases. Much grumbling ensued since no one is sure that there is any money to actually do anything with the land in the short term.
112: On the one hand, sounds interesting. On the other hand, it costs 12 bucks and would require driving a couple of miles.
114, 115: How could we possibly ever resolve this?
Todt Hill 410 ft., Mount Mitchill 266 ft.
And citing Cadillac Mountain is also wrong as Mt. Megunticook (1385 ft) in the Camden Hills of Maine (and south of Acadia) shows.
This is a very strange sentence to read: "NJ bordered Morocco," until you see that it is completed with "245 million years ago."
123/26, etc: The dispute is actually about "coastal elevation." Mount Mitchill is a cliff, basically, while Todt Hill is more or less mid-island. So the Mount Mitchill stats are comparing sea cliff to sea cliff (I think).
The Monmouth County parks people get it right: At 266 feet, this overlook in Atlantic Highlands sits on the highest natural elevation on the Atlantic seaboard (excluding islands).
127: Mitchill is a lot closer to the water.
It's time to come clean, Stormcrow: this was all a plot to get you to type Megunticook.
Megunticook! Megunticook! Heeeeeey Megunticook!
Boy does Maine have the best names ever.
129: I thought that is what I was saying?
131: I meant that to express agreement with you, sorry.
130: Apparently: mecadacut or megunticook: Penobscot: "/amehkáyihtekok/ 'at a stream below a height (or mountain)'
132: No apologies! I was genuinely confused! Sometimes I find I have said the opposite of what I meant.
In any event, my brother's house is on one of the cliffs facing the harbor, and it is pretty cool to see lower Manhattan laid out gaudily before you from his living room. It was much more dramatic when, uh, there were these other big buildings there.
134: I'm jealous of your brother!
After high school, my brother shared an apartment in the Highlands with a couple of friends. They were (they claim) so broke that they ate pasta with margarine -- couldn't even afford the butter.
Also, can we talk about how much Gov. Christie sucks? Because he, like, totally sucks.
135: Well, he just bought an uglier house in a worse location, for reasons known only to him. (It's in R-m-s-n, but ugly and tiny, and who the heck wants to live there unless you're sending kids to the school or something.)
The Highlands used to be kind of sketchy, but now there is a nifty catamaran that takes you to Manhattan in 35 minutes, and so it's become a desirable place for people to move. Housing costs are going up-up-up and rental units are disappearing and this is becoming a *thing.*
Wasn't Clerks filmed in the Highlands? I think Kevin Smith went to Henry Hudson or whatever that high school is called.
R-m-s-n
The schools in Ryumonsoon are fabulous.
136: A devil man. Seriously -- deeply fucking awful. Even folks who were inclined to vote for him aren't taking kindly to the deliberate destruction of one of the very, very best public school systems in the country.
138: It's Rumson! I can't even place hyphens correctly!
In his incarnation as the utterly unsympathetic and seemingly empty-skulled prosecutor in this TAL episode, Chris Christie was hated by me years before all you people.
All the animals come out on Staten Island -- lions, echidnas, giraffes, pangolins, snail darters, pit bulls, marmosets, sick, venal -- someday a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the streets.
Speaking of high stuff, I recently walked up this lovely thing for the umpteenth time. High! (But not coastal.)
Has no one yet noted that Boehner is just the man to cock the mole that afflicts us?
Boy does Maine have the best names ever.
I'll see your Megunticook and raise you a Manunka Chunk.
Walla Walla, Wallula, Tulalip, Puyallup, Wahkiakum, Klickitat, Kittitas, and many many more.
Damariscotta! Waldoboro! Katahdin! Vinal Haven! Agamenticus! Skowhegan! Toothacker! Androscoggin!
Fuck it, the Australians will be along shortly anyway.
Fair enough, but there are some more great ones here.
And of course not so far from Bostonland there is Lake Chaubunagungamaug--full name Lake Chargoggonmnmnoaoananoorognonmanoerg. Also known as Webster Lake.
My favourite is Muiceanach-idir-dhá-sháile otherwise Muckanaghederdauhaulia (press the play button at the link to hear pronunciation).
And who can forget Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Miinaanbaashkiminisijiganbitooyinsijiganibukwayszhiigan, dammit!
And at the other extreme, Aiea.
147 sounds like a litany of magic words from the New England edition of Harry Potter.
152, in Sc/tland, would be pronounced Vootchanakh-idir-ha-shale-yeh. Exactly as it's spelt, in fact. Irish Gaelic is weird.
Algonquian languages are indeed good sources for long, funny-sounding placenames. (As are Celtic languages.)
Speaking of Algonquin languages, I watched "Black Robe" on TCM as per the recommendation of several people here. It started at 2:30 AM so you can imagine how intriguing I thought the movie sounded, from the discussion of it here. Verdict: haunting and great.
humuhumunukunukuapuaa
Not a place name, but awesome nonetheless.
Lake Chaubunagungamaug--full name Lake Chargoggonmnmnoaoananoorognonmanoerg
Fuller name Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggauggagogogchaubunagungamaugg.
159: I'll see your humuhumunukunukuapua'a and raise you a lauwiliwilinukunukuʻoiʻoi.
159, 161: Both of which can be seen here. If you could go there. Which you can't.
Are we going to the hukilau?
Moody's Diner in Waldoboro, ME is awesome.