Re: Times to gush

1

A long-lost section of the Pillow Book? Seems a little fragmentary.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:20 AM
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2

Also gush over people's new tattoos.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:21 AM
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3

I'm just being helpful.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:22 AM
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4

Oh my god, what an awesome blog post, heebie!


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:22 AM
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5

3. When you're a highly pressurized deposit of fossil fuels beneath miles of rock and seawater and someone sticks a long metal tube into you.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:23 AM
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6

Heebie, I am sure little Wizard Cocksucker will have a *lovely* time on the playground with such an *original* name.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:23 AM
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7

Oral sex?


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:23 AM
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8

7 crossed with 6, oddly.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:24 AM
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9

I assume this means Hawaiian Punch's sibling will be named Ecto-Cooler.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:24 AM
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10

When complimenting people on their wedding.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:27 AM
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11

5 really takes me back to my college days.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:28 AM
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12

I decided the Haircut Rule in maybe middle school, and have stuck to it firmly ever since. The Baby Name Rule was a logical corollary when it arose in the last ten years, or so.

If someone's making themselves vulnerable and your true opinion doesn't matter, gush.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:29 AM
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13

Although if it's a girl, Blowjob Cheesecake would be *adorable.*


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:30 AM
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14

Now. And now. And now. And now. And so forth.


Posted by: Gushers™ | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:30 AM
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15

Well, Blowjob Cheesecake would certainly be a gusher.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:31 AM
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16

15: Plus, you and Jammies could introduce yourselves as The Blowjob Cheesecake Factory.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:33 AM
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17

So, are you naming the baby Bob, or Page?

oh, my.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:50 AM
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18

You all think you're so rich, don't you.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 10:53 AM
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19

I should mention that I passed the link to "Pregnant Women Are Smug" along to a friend who loved it, and said that it made their Monday.

Thank you.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:01 AM
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20

You all think you're so rich

I find cheesecake too rich sometimes. The jury is out on blowjob cheesecake.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:37 AM
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21

When your 89 year-old mother gets what's left of her hair cut and styled in honor of a visit. I did suggest a bright blue Mohawk for next time but also managed gush.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 11:48 AM
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22

Also, when someone sends you a picture of their baby. Especially when said baby is uglier than a shaved cat.


Posted by: tonks | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 2:34 PM
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23

22: I have some kind of really transparent resistance to gushing over baby photos so I live in fear of being shown them. I never think little Cheesecake looks just like daddy. Daddy, it always seems to me, looks like a much older person, is taller and better dressed without that WTF?! expression permanently upon his face. I can just never see it. It's probably a great thing to learn to fake in the interest of not being an asshole. For now I kind of open my eyes really wide, nod quickly to convey enthusiasm, and go "oh, uh huh! Yeah, wow!"


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 3:05 PM
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24

Developing a reaction to baby clothes helps. While the actual baby usually looks like Winston Churchill, cooing over the tiny frogs on his shoes works as well as commenting on the baby itself.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 3:22 PM
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25

While the actual baby usually looks like Winston Churchill

People always say this, but I think most newborns look more like Dwight Eisenhower.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 3:24 PM
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26

WC Fields is another common option.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 3:30 PM
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27

Non smoking Winston Churchill gets my vote.


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 3:41 PM
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28

24-26: Racists!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 3:42 PM
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29

People always say this, but I think most newborns look more like Dwight Eisenhower

It's not widely know that this is how Stephen Ambrose got all those interviews with Ike.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 3:43 PM
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30

||
Don't know enough to have an opinion on the overall impact of the Skilling decision and honest services fraud but at least Don Siegelman's case will get a re-look.
|>


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 3:49 PM
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31

23 made me laugh.

W/r/t baby photos, I only gush if they're actually cute, but I think then that's it's sort of unexpected from me. I don't hate babies!


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 4:01 PM
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32

I think most newborns look more like Dwight Eisenhower....

The Flip-Pater saw Ike in person at pre-November 1963 distances but has never said this of an infant. His default comparison is Swee'Pea.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 4:32 PM
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33

pre-November 1963 distances

From a designated free speech zone?


Posted by: Tassled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 4:37 PM
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34

23: "Aw! S/he is so sweet" is my code for "Goddamn, that poor baby is unfortunately ugly." My husband's cousin has a baby that looks like a potato with a tuft of hair. I call him sweet all the time.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 4:49 PM
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35

23: Daddy, it always seems to me, looks like a much older person, is taller and better dressed without that WTF?! expression permanently upon his face.

Based on the last two criteria, it is clear you never seen a new father.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:37 PM
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36

It's funny that people go on about how ugly babies are, given the EP story where babies look as cute as possible (big eyes, tiny noses, etc, etc) in order that the parents not just toss them in the bin as too much effort.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:42 PM
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37

Older babies are EP-style cute. Newborns are squidgy blobs of protoplasm.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:43 PM
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38

The cuteness of newborns inheres in their carry-them-in-your-forearm tinyness, I think.

Then again, I'm quite drunk so I may not be a reliable witness on this point at this moment.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:46 PM
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39

I usually don't think of babies as being that cute, but then I read rfts's blog.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:54 PM
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40

39: Yeah, that's some hard-core big-eyed baby crack. Decorated with adorable squids!

38: True -- that cradle-the-head-in-your-palm with the baby lying on your forearm hold is awfully endearing.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:56 PM
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41

Then again, I'm quite drunk so I may not be a reliable witness on this point at this moment.

We'll be the judges of that. Tell us more! Do you have anything nearby to eat?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 5:58 PM
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42

Do you have anything nearby to eat?

Right now pretty much everything is looking edible, which I take as a bad sign.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:00 PM
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43

39: That is an exceptionally cute baby.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:01 PM
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44

42: that's where you're wrong!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:01 PM
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45

Bave wins the thread in 11.

Has Heebie announced a name? Did we have an Unfogged naming contest?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:03 PM
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46

This was truly not intended to be a post about me.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:19 PM
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47

Did we have an Unfogged naming contest?
Do you have a better idea than 6 and 13?


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:20 PM
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48

I bet you think this post is about you.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:21 PM
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49

Well, now I do. But it was actually spawned from the baby shower over the weekend. Even more actually, it had been sitting on my scratch pad for a few days, and we looked like we needed a new post.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:22 PM
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50

Pacing. I gush over proper pacing. Yeah.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 6:25 PM
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51

yea, oudemia wins the naming contest.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 06-29-10 7:04 PM
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