Re: More Tom Swifties than you could ever hope to see

1

My favorite so far:

"Ms. Blanchett is once again totally immune to anthrax!" Tom reciprocated.

Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 6:25 PM
horizontal rule
2

Wow. There are lots of excellent ones. I liked:


"My dad dresses like a girl" Tom said transparently.
"That tuna just saved our planet," said Tom superficially.
"I love late 70s glam rock," said Tom adamantly.


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 6:42 PM
horizontal rule
3

A lot of them are formed on similar lines as British crosswords, though, so they take longer than ideal to work out.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 6:45 PM
horizontal rule
4

I liked the one about golf and Hamlet.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 6:53 PM
horizontal rule
5

"2 bdrm furn w c/h," said Tom aptly.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 7:57 PM
horizontal rule
6

From the link from the link.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 7:58 PM
horizontal rule
7

Bradford Graham, R.I.P. (A lot of those were generated over at one of Brad's private internet haunts and reposted to MeFi based on whether they made us laugh and/or want to choke him.)


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 8:51 PM
horizontal rule
8

You're among friends, snarkout. You can say "Filepile".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 8:54 PM
horizontal rule
9

url 2 filepile logins


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 8:56 PM
horizontal rule
10

said Tom to the tune of the Caddy Shack theme.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-14-10 11:26 PM
horizontal rule
11

No More Masburbating to Charles Mackerras, Tom said in a manner suggesting both the passing of an important Janacek conductor and a failure to masturbate.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 8:18 AM
horizontal rule
12

I have a real life friend whose name actually is Tom Swift, giving me the rare opportunity to drop a name I needn't googleproof.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 8:54 AM
horizontal rule
13

"I'm left-handed," Tom said sinisterly.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 10:40 AM
horizontal rule
14

"I wish this honeydew would stop crying", Tom said melancholically.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 10:43 AM
horizontal rule
15

"I am also not left-handed", said the Dread Pirate Roberts as he dextrously regained the advantage.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 10:47 AM
horizontal rule
16

"That guy sure got some sun," Tom said tangentially.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 10:47 AM
horizontal rule
17

"I don't even have a TV", Tom said immediately.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:06 AM
horizontal rule
18

"You should like the dialogue and instructions I've supplied you with," Tom said proscriptively.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:10 AM
horizontal rule
19

I'm afraid that a prescription and a proscription are rather different things.

"I've got dancing feet!" Tom said pedantically.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:12 AM
horizontal rule
20

"According to Roman and Italian rhetoricians, the exordium should clearly lay out the purpose of the address to follow", Tom explained perspicuously.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:16 AM
horizontal rule
21

Shit, I got my racial slurs mixed up. Hopefully this redounds to my ultimate credit.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:18 AM
horizontal rule
22

I'm afraid that a prescription and a proscription are rather different things.

Yeah, I did a really good job of fucking that one up.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:18 AM
horizontal rule
23

"<insert perceptive value-adding Unfogged comment here>", Tom said wittily.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:21 AM
horizontal rule
24

"I think, LORD, that one boat really ought to suffice", Moses said anarchically.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:22 AM
horizontal rule
25

17 is great.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:23 AM
horizontal rule
26

Another problem with 18 is that "should", not "like", should be emphasized.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:24 AM
horizontal rule
27

"Fuck you clown", mimed Noah.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:24 AM
horizontal rule
28

26: "I don't even see Wisconsin", Stanley replied cheesily.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:29 AM
horizontal rule
29

"Adam Ant isn't glam rock, he's New Romantic," said Tom romantically.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:37 AM
horizontal rule
30

"Let's see you talk about Gaussian Copula functions with urine streaming down your face", said Tom piquantly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:49 AM
horizontal rule
31

"Excuse me, I passed gas," Tom said astutely.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:49 AM
horizontal rule
32

"Why, these socks don't stick together at all", said Tom ecstatically.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:51 AM
horizontal rule
33

The problem with Toms Swifty is the same as the problem with puns or British crossword clues &c.: They quickly become more wag than dog. "I helped that cat-eating alien Rob a bank," said Tom, alphabetically. Ekh.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:51 AM
horizontal rule
34

"It really tied the room together", said Tom, sounding drugged.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:53 AM
horizontal rule
35

"In the end, I gave my all for the co-creator of Saturday Night Live," said Tom, forlorn.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 11:58 AM
horizontal rule
36

"I Bob, she Carol", Bob said heatedly.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:02 PM
horizontal rule
37

Smearcase, your most recent post made me laugh. I was going to comment, but Blogger comments makes you sign out of your email to be pseudonymous and I hate that.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:02 PM
horizontal rule
38

"It's puff-puff-puff, pass," Tom said dubiously.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:04 PM
horizontal rule
39

Thanks, Bärchen--I sheepishly (um, there is no Tom Swifty going on here) retracted my comment bleg, but I'm glad to hear it.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:07 PM
horizontal rule
40

As it it's such a burden to sign out of email.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:08 PM
horizontal rule
41

"Boop-boop de boop, these so-called jokes are poop", Mister Smearcase scatted.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:09 PM
horizontal rule
42

40: "As it it's such a burden to log out of email", said nosflow, resignedily.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:11 PM
horizontal rule
43

"My strength has been increasing steadily with the increasing number of people using free software", said rms with renewed vigor.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:13 PM
horizontal rule
44

As it it's

"I'll just control-V this text," JP Stormcrow said, looking pasty.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:17 PM
horizontal rule
45

"I have to pay to be disgusted?" Tom asked, feverishly.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:21 PM
horizontal rule
46

"I just love those Four Tenors," Tom said, menacingly.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:23 PM
horizontal rule
47

"If we hide the wassail cups nobody'll ever know what we were up to", Tom said masculinely.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:24 PM
horizontal rule
48

"Jesus, I hope tonight's seder goes well", Thomas said, prejudicedly.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:24 PM
horizontal rule
49

I get my inspiration from the making of honeycombs.


Posted by: said foolishmortal bemusedly | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:25 PM
horizontal rule
50

I keep coming up with, uh, backwards ones? They are not very good:

"Abundance," Tom said, as the bread did the watusi.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:26 PM
horizontal rule
51

"Excuse me, I passed gas," Tom said astutely.

This one doesn't cross the Atlantic very well.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:27 PM
horizontal rule
52

51: Surely you're familiar with the ancient ode to beans, the musical fruit?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:28 PM
horizontal rule
53

"Not even an extra-large bouquet was able to win back her affections", Tom said morosely.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:31 PM
horizontal rule
54

"I'm so tired of serving in Iraq", Tom said, fatigued.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:33 PM
horizontal rule
55

"I believe these people are from Dagestan," Tom averred.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:34 PM
horizontal rule
56

"My people have a rich and noble history, and I'm a very fast swimmer", ogged said alluringly.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:35 PM
horizontal rule
57

52: Over there, it's called "passing petrol"; hence the confusion.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:36 PM
horizontal rule
58

Surely you're familiar with the ancient ode to beans, the musical fruit?

Of course, but a) in Britain the verb in the rhyme is "fart", not "toot", and b), in British English the vowel sound in "astute" (yoo) is not the same as the vowel sound in "toot" (oo).


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:36 PM
horizontal rule
59

I like my explanation better, GY.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:37 PM
horizontal rule
60

Also: "the more you eat / the more you fart" doesn't rhyme.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:38 PM
horizontal rule
61

I believe that works when one notes that beans are good for your heart.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:41 PM
horizontal rule
62

61: LB corrected.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:43 PM
horizontal rule
63

58: AHA! But your very rebuttal proves that you understood the original Tom Swiftie, as well as the supposedly US-specific cultural reference.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 12:58 PM
horizontal rule
64

"It appears we've got more than just one deck of playing cards here," Tom said tenaciously.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:06 PM
horizontal rule
65

"These blow dirty dishwater", Tom said succinctly.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:11 PM
horizontal rule
66

Those both suck donkey balls.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:12 PM
horizontal rule
67

"I wonder who's married to Tony Parker," Tom said languorously.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:16 PM
horizontal rule
68

"The number of grammatical mistakes in these essays is simply mind-boggling", Tom said incredulously.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:18 PM
horizontal rule
69

But your very rebuttal proves that you understood the original Tom Swiftie, as well as the supposedly US-specific cultural reference.

Well, yes, but then again I am American.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:33 PM
horizontal rule
70

Oh, then I was confused.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:36 PM
horizontal rule
71

"I'm yellow," Tom said xanthously.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:37 PM
horizontal rule
72

69 comes as a shock.

Now that that's resolved, I see the newest entry on Marty Peretz's blog is called "Barack Obama vs. Mort Klein. Who the Hell is Mort Klein?"

My guess is that Mort Klein is an elderly Jewish man who is right about many things that Obama is wrong about, but I could be wrong.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:38 PM
horizontal rule
73

"The congressman from Upper Michigan is retiring," said Tom stupendously.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:39 PM
horizontal rule
74


"The judge may have ruled against me this time, but I intend to file suit again on different grounds!" Tom retorted.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:45 PM
horizontal rule
75

"I can't be gay! Look at my wife and children", said the GOP Congressman properly.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:48 PM
horizontal rule
76

My guess is that Mort Klein is an elderly Jewish man who is right about many things that Obama is wrong about, but I could be wrong.

I checked, Ned. You're right!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 1:58 PM
horizontal rule
77

74: Tom retorted.

ahem


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 2:11 PM
horizontal rule
78

"These crutches are annoying," Tom said allegedly.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 2:26 PM
horizontal rule
79

"It smells of calcium carbonate," Tom said tumescently.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 2:30 PM
horizontal rule
80

"Why is this crossword full of obscure words?" Tom said in a stentorian tone.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 2:34 PM
horizontal rule
81

"I can't be gay! Look at my wife and children", said the GOP Congressman properly.

"She's left me and taken the kids! I've got to find another woman," said the GOP Congressman rebarbatively.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 2:42 PM
horizontal rule
82

|| No more masturbating to the oil spill in the Gulf. |>


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 2:52 PM
horizontal rule
83

Brock saltily gushed.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 3:02 PM
horizontal rule
84

said the actress to the bishop


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 3:04 PM
horizontal rule
85

(irreverently)


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 3:04 PM
horizontal rule
86

70,72: I'm American! I'm British! I'm American and I'm British! My father and mother... understand? Or is it too tough for you?


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 3:06 PM
horizontal rule
87

86: Maybe you can draw a picture?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 3:13 PM
horizontal rule
88

86: Ohh, I got it - GY is Mexican.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 3:30 PM
horizontal rule
89

I'm American! I'm British! I'm American and I'm British!

Pick one!


Posted by: OPINIONATED DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 3:39 PM
horizontal rule
90

"Pick one!" said the opinionated Declaration of Independence, subjectively publicly.


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 4:10 PM
horizontal rule
91

"Oh, I've got everything you need to start a garden right here…laydeez," Tom said seedily.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 4:41 PM
horizontal rule
92

"Give me a fellatio right here in the bar," Tom said publicly.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 4:58 PM
horizontal rule
93

In aid of restoring the balance against Yank cultural imperialism:

"You're a right James", Tom said bluntly.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 5:38 PM
horizontal rule
94

"I just love having my own yard!" burbled Tom.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 6:28 PM
horizontal rule
95

"After eating pancakes, I always clean my plate with a Kleenex," Tom said surreptitiously.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 7:29 PM
horizontal rule
96

"Stanley clearly has discovered a new boredom-relief activity for that barista," I said icily.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 7:45 PM
horizontal rule
97

"I'd like my fellatio before the hot tub thankyouverymuch," Tom said mellifluously.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 7:50 PM
horizontal rule
98

[in the seething voice of Satan]


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 7:51 PM
horizontal rule
99

"How's about I bury you deep inside my rose garden?" Tom said stout-heartedly.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 7:53 PM
horizontal rule
100

Kobe!


Posted by: Tom | Link to this comment | 07-15-10 8:43 PM
horizontal rule
101

"That brand of tampons is, shall we say, not of the highest quality," she said obliquely.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 2:38 AM
horizontal rule
102

"Please let me tell you about the Loki figure in Norse mythology!" Tom said imploringly.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 3:25 AM
horizontal rule
103

"Amputate my penis!" Tom demanded.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 3:33 AM
horizontal rule
104

"I suppose someone else will have to learn to play this flute contraption now," Tom deadpanned.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 3:36 AM
horizontal rule
105

"For the thousandth time, I will not pay that invoice," said Tom unremittingly.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 3:49 AM
horizontal rule
106

"I will get another anti-Roe justice on the Supreme Court if I have to commit murder to do it!" said Tom ruthlessly


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 3:53 AM
horizontal rule
107

I'm American! I'm British! I'm American and I'm British!

Surely:

"I'm American!"
*slap*
"I'm British!"
*slap*
"I'm American!"
*slap*
"I'm British!"
*slap*
"I'm American and I'm British!"

[Forget it, Jake. It's Diego Garcia.]


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:00 AM
horizontal rule
108

"The sender of that email offer claims to be a relative of a deposed dictator, but the numerous errors lead me to believe he is a fraud," Tom concluded.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:04 AM
horizontal rule
109

"We can unload the cargo at either of those harbours, and yet we cannot," said Tom paradoxically.

"Well, the same guy's just come into the restaurant and stuffed himself again," said Tom refulgently.

"I reckon things will be a lot easier here now we've got lots of criminals working on two-week contracts," said Tom contemplatively.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:05 AM
horizontal rule
110

"These Italians look cheerful. Obviously Mussolini has been removed from power," Tom deduced.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:06 AM
horizontal rule
111

"You can't find your keys? Maybe you left them underneath the manuscript of your dissertation," Tom hypothesised.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:08 AM
horizontal rule
112

"I have acted very morally, in my view, by donating all those marquees to disaster relief," said Tom sententiously.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:11 AM
horizontal rule
113

"You should have arranged the World's Fair six months ago!" Tom expostulated.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:15 AM
horizontal rule
114

"I hear someone kicked Wong's butt," was Tom's assertation.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:24 AM
horizontal rule
115

"We could top off this regicide with an act of symbolic cannibalism. But then again, how might that look to the international media?" Tom vacillated.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:42 AM
horizontal rule
116

"The menu at the French restaurant said 'jambon', but they served me an inferior cut of meat taken from the foreleg of the animal," Tom said, appalled.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:47 AM
horizontal rule
117

"If current population trends continue, one of the incumbent Congressmen from Massachusetts will lose his seat after the next decennial redistricting," Tom extrapolated.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 4:55 AM
horizontal rule
118

"Perhaps, Dr. Rice, you would better recall your failures as National Security Advisor if I wer to email you a copy of the Presidential Daily Briefing headlined 'Bin Laden Determined to Attack the U.S.'", Tom said condescendingly.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 5:00 AM
horizontal rule
119

I don't get 115, sorry...


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 5:00 AM
horizontal rule
120

109: it was supposed to be a play on the word "vassal". Not my best work, I'll admit.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 5:09 AM
horizontal rule
121

"I've recently become involved with a certain organization based in Southern California," Tom said cryptically.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 5:40 AM
horizontal rule
122

"This DC-3 will never fly again. It's a dead loss," Tom explained.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 6:22 AM
horizontal rule
123

"The number of awkward pauses in his answer revealed his confusion", Tom countered.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 6:46 AM
horizontal rule
124

"I spit on your demagoguery about the Al Qaeda threat!" Tom said terrifyingly.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 7:51 AM
horizontal rule
125

"I hate Ireland so much I'm reintroducing snakes to its ecosystem," Tom spat.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 7:55 AM
horizontal rule
126

107: That was the reference I was going for, yes.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 8:29 AM
horizontal rule
127

It's weird. I think these are funny, and normally I don't have too much trouble with wordplay, but I absolutely can't generate any. There's something about them that makes me completely blocked, said Liz plaintively.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 8:39 AM
horizontal rule
128

I work backwards from the verb or adverb.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 8:45 AM
horizontal rule
129

I have the same issue as LB (except I'm not normally so good at wordplay, so perhaps it doesn't surprise me as much). I'd tried 128, which is a good way for me to easily come up with unfunny ones ("Let's go fishing," Tom said alluringly), but not any good ones.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 8:51 AM
horizontal rule
130

129.last: They're supposed to be good?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 8:56 AM
horizontal rule
131

"There were two presidents named Roosevelt? Far out!" Tom hooted.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 8:56 AM
horizontal rule
132

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die," Tom said fulsomely.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 9:01 AM
horizontal rule
133

"These flowers are out-of-control," Tom said lackadaisically.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 9:10 AM
horizontal rule
134

"Bugger!" Tom lambasted.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 9:15 AM
horizontal rule
135

"Thanks for the phone number, but your handwriting is terrible," Tom said negligibly.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 9:20 AM
horizontal rule
136

"I haven't been this baked since Harold and Kumar", John choked.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 9:22 AM
horizontal rule
137

135: Mr. Blandings FTW!


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 9:29 AM
horizontal rule
138

There's something about them that makes me completely blocked, said Liz plaintively.

"Couldn't we squabble about something more interesting?", Tom said plaintively.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 6:39 PM
horizontal rule
139

"The State Department is not a hotbed of Communism!" Tom hissed.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 07-16-10 7:56 PM
horizontal rule
140

"The death drive is only a mask of the Symbolic order", Tom said laconically.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 8:42 AM
horizontal rule
141

"This enchanted water has given us all amazing powers!", Tom observed superfluously.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 8:47 AM
horizontal rule
142

Three very good ones in a row.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 8:53 AM
horizontal rule
143

"And I wouldn't care if you're ugly / 'Cause here in the dark I couldn't see", Scott Walker sang, delighted.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 8:57 AM
horizontal rule
144

"The toilets are a mess," Tom lugubriously observed. "I'm not putting out cheese with dinner anymore."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:13 AM
horizontal rule
145

142 was a statement, not a request. Which is just as well, considering.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:15 AM
horizontal rule
146

"I put up a brave face, but it is true that I hurt in every part of my body", Tom allowed.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:15 AM
horizontal rule
147

"Moby is banned!" Tom wailed.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:22 AM
horizontal rule
148

"A boat fit for Noah himself!" exclaimed Tom, anarchically.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:31 AM
horizontal rule
149

"It's the gospel truth!" Tom wrote, prognostically.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:34 AM
horizontal rule
150

"Let's just try this battery one more time," Tom said, revoltingly.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:36 AM
horizontal rule
151

"That's just your opinion, you nit," said Tom, sedulously.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
152

"We should challenge the taboo against incest," Tom insisted.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:39 AM
horizontal rule
153

"Lionel, oh Lionel," called Tom, trillingly.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:41 AM
horizontal rule
154


"I've just found the profile of my old high school girlfriend on Facebook!" Tom said excitedly.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 9:50 AM
horizontal rule
155

"Just between you and me, Heraklion is kind of a pit," Tom said discreetly.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 10:02 AM
horizontal rule
156

24,27 -> 148


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 10:10 AM
horizontal rule
157

"I feel like an ass that I didn't invite you to the party, but there were so many relatives on the guest list, and the venue had a strict maximum occupancy," Tom said bashfully.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 10:10 AM
horizontal rule
158

"You know, a lot of people think that flying the the MQ-1 is like playing a video game. But it's really quite different...'What's an MQ-1?' That's the technical designation for the UAV that I operate. 'What's a UAV?' UAV stands for 'unmanned aerial vehicle', of course. The press commonly calls the MQ-1 the 'Predator', but in reality 'Predator' designates the entire system, not just the airborne platform. Anyway, people think that just because the MQ-1 is flown remotely, that it's no different from playing on an XBox or PlayStation. But nothing could be further from the truth..." Tom droned.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 10:27 AM
horizontal rule
159

156: Well, i figured that had to be an oldie.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 10:40 AM
horizontal rule
160

"Always 'puff, puff, puff', eh Mr. Watt?" asked Tom, steamily.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 10:45 AM
horizontal rule
161

"Yes, Sister Maria, that is quite a prominent rock outcropping," Tom said, denunciatorily.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 10:50 AM
horizontal rule
162

"I say, there's a bit of a pong in here after 6 hours of PE classes, what?" Tom said, gymnastically.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 10:53 AM
horizontal rule
163

"I don't think I can lighten my pack any more after this", Tom announced.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 6:05 PM
horizontal rule
164

"Mightn't you have left it in that sheaf of papers?" Tom inquired.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 6:06 PM
horizontal rule
165

"I wonder why no one's ever written an ode on the salmon", Tom said oafishly.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-17-10 6:11 PM
horizontal rule
166

"Well, I think I'm going to get sterillized, but then again, maybe I shouldn't, no, I probably should; ultimately, it's up to you," Tom vacillated, deferentially.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-18-10 9:28 AM
horizontal rule
167

"Following this fiscal austerity scheme has finally let me start saving money, but all the fun has gone out of my life", Tom said miserably.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-26-10 9:07 PM
horizontal rule
168

"That throw was a piece of shit! He wasn't out! He touched the bag no problem you incompetent goddamn Candlestick umps!" cursed Tom, miserably.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-26-10 9:14 PM
horizontal rule
169

"Your rooster stew was delicious", Tom said coquettishly.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-26-10 9:19 PM
horizontal rule
170

"Some Sox are in first place," Ozzie said; mighty White of him.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-26-10 9:22 PM
horizontal rule
171

"The corn really is as high as an elephant's eye!", Tom said, amazed.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 07-26-10 9:25 PM
horizontal rule