Re: Bare Minimum

1

Alfalfa sprouts are pretty gross. My mom grew 'em indoors when I was a kid and tried to sneak them into my sandwiches. Wait, what were you dong talking to my mom, Stanley? Also, it's weird that you would consider putting Cheddar before Provolone. I think it probably goes before Swiss, to be honest, with Provolone a distant fourth -- or maybe even fifth, after Pepper Jack or some shit.


Posted by: ari | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 8:53 PM
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I had Cheddar and Provolone as equally likely to be there.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 8:55 PM
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I like those little pickled banana peppers, the ones without much heat. I call them peppercini, but that usually confuses people.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 8:56 PM
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what were you dong talking to my mom, Stanley?

I won't answer this; I'm a gentleman, ari.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 8:57 PM
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3: you should try calling them "peperoncini", see if that goes any better.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 8:59 PM
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3: Banana peppers?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 8:59 PM
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The three must-have cheeses would be cheddar, Swiss, and American. (Almost) nobody actually likes alfalfa sprouts, and most people would probably view them as cheap filler.


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 8:59 PM
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I associate alfalfa sprouts with sandwich places on the west coast. This is probably a spurious correlation.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:00 PM
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I like sprouts on sandwiches, but I don't judge people who don't.

What the fuck kind of sandwich bar doesn't have liverwurst?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:02 PM
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What the fuck kind of sandwich bar doesn't have liverwurst?

Sifu's my dad and my grandfather? WHOA.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:03 PM
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I vote for olives.

My memory is that every sandwich I ever got here came loaded with sprouts whether I wanted them or not, but that might be an exaggeration. The extreme cases had such a huge pile of sprouts that I couldn't taste the other contents of the sandwich.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:04 PM
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In all seriousness, I don't think I understand what a sandwich station consists of. There's, like, metal trays of cold-cuts under a sneez-gard? Do you pick them out by hand?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:05 PM
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If you make a sandwich with liverwurst, sprouts, and hazelnuts you can pretend you're eating the Mississippi.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:06 PM
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Also: I want my sandwich on rye. And the lettuce had better not be iceberg.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:06 PM
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12: I believe he was thinking of the kind where an employee prepares the sandwich, because he compared it to a university sandwich station I'm familiar with that was of this type.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:07 PM
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14: The exercise is not about what you want, but rather what you can reasonably expect, given the circumstances.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:08 PM
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Where are these sandwich stations? Is this like a deli counter in a grocery store? What a world.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:09 PM
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17: Harris Teeter has just that. He was describing a workplace cafeteria that, like the university he and I attended, has such a station.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:11 PM
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18: well then, if it's like a deli counter in a grocery store, they need -- at a minimum -- Ham, turkey (smoked and roast), roast beef, salami, provolone, swiss, jack, red onions, tomato, lettuce, mustard, mayo, oil, vinegar and -- and this is absolutely key -- avocado, and bacon. Oh and probably russian dressing. And maybe cole slaw.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:14 PM
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12 et seq. (esp. 19): And then I posted about sandwich stations on Unfogged. FML.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:15 PM
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One of my workplaces has a cafeteria with sandwich station. In addition, there is a burger station, a fried chicken station, and an old-people station with a "meat and two sides" meal of the day. We're supposed to get a pizza station soon.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:15 PM
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And a variety of breads, obviously. White, wheat, rye, bulkie roll, maybe ciabatta if you're nasty. Any and all of them toasted.

And man, you know what? Fuck it, sandwich peppers. Moby is right.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:15 PM
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and an old-people station with a "meat and two sides" meal of the day.

"Soylent Green Incorporated... is people."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:16 PM
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21: Well, what does the sammy station feature, Moby? This is for science.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:17 PM
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19: Why would you need Russian dressing without corned beef and sauerkraut?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:17 PM
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And then I posted about sandwich stations on Unfogged

Psssh. Joy beyond the dreams of Dagwoodhood.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:18 PM
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24:

Meat: ham, pepperoni, salami, turkey, some horrible thing that I think is supposed to be like capicola, egg salad*, tuna salad*

Cheese: Swiss, Provolone, American. That's it.

Toppings: lettuce, tomato, black olives, green peppers, banana peppers, jalapeno peppers, onions. Probably some other things, but no sprouts or avocado.

Dressing: oil and vinegar, mayo, and others that I don't know about.

Bread: Wheat rolls, white rolls, flour tortillas (plain, spinach, tomato).

*Don't bother to say it. I don't care.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:25 PM
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Now I'm hungry.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:25 PM
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Which is strange because the sandwiches are not very good.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:26 PM
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I'm just stoked that my new job has a coffee machine.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:26 PM
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New contest! What's the absolute most disgusting sandwich (made from ingredients at the sandwich bar -- no cheating and adding old-people meat or the grease from frying the chicken) you could have them make at the sandwich bar at Moby's office?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:27 PM
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30: I'm utterly shocked that my workplace doesn't. What kind of morons don't see the value in providing free coffee to people you expect to work hours and hours a day for a pittance?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:27 PM
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I'm thinking salami, swiss and green peppers on a tomato wrap.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:29 PM
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I'm thinking a white roll "wrapped" in black olives.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:31 PM
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31: I'm only at that office a couple of days a week. My other office is near regular sandwich places.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:31 PM
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Maybe mayo wrapped in egg salad.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:32 PM
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No bread. Egg salad in left hand. Tuna salad in right hand. Cover both with oil and jalapeños. Slam hands into your face.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:32 PM
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37 posted before reading 36. Great minds...


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:33 PM
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The place I usually eat lunch doesn't even have sandwiches, but it's closed for most of the summer, so I go to the building made famous as the exterior of the hospital on House, which has: turkey (smoked and roast), ham, roast beef, chicken breasts (of the inedible variety), provolone, swiss, cheddar, tomato, lettuce, red onions, mayo, mustard (yellow and spicy), oil and vinegar. Quite a few kinds of bread, but otherwise I think it's pretty much the minimal set of options. Fairly shitty, as is all the food there.

There are great sandwiches down the road at the modern incarnation of this place, but their "old-people station" serves the only food in town that is both good and reasonably priced, so most people skip the sandwiches.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:33 PM
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I am appalled that there are workplaces without coffee machines, and I don't even drink coffee. I've seen what happens to people who need it and don't get it, though. Disturbing stuff.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:35 PM
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I'm just stoked that my new job has a coffee machine.

My workplace has a professional-grade espresso machine. Plus three different kinds of coffee brewed throughout the day by the office manager. Plus a single-cup cone drip cafe a couple of blocks away.

Jesus Christ we're spoiled.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:37 PM
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What kind of morons don't see the value in providing free coffee to people you expect to work hours and hours a day for a pittance?

Be careful what you wish for. IME the coffee places like that end up supplying (when someone finally gets it through their head that it's worth doing) is worse than none at all.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:38 PM
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My experience has led me to believe that the best cheese selection to make in Canada is to select no cheese at all. It significantly improved all sandwiches at one of the campus sandwich places.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:42 PM
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I sometimes wish my office didn't have a coffee machine. The coffee it produces is truly awful, but because it's there and it's caffeinated and it's free and I'm as irrational as the next person, I find it difficult to justify going down to the street and buying decent coffee, which I would do without a second thought if we didn't have the machine.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:42 PM
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44: I have a single-cup French press to avoid the office dreck. I still end up going to buy often times, but theoretically the French press is an easy workaround if you're willing to bring coffee grinds from home.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:45 PM
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Grinds? Grounds.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:46 PM
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45: I had a co-worker who did that. I would have mocked her for it except that she did roller derby and could probably have mashed my face into the Mr. Coffee.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:47 PM
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Alfalfa sprouts are a health risk, you careless fucks. That's why a lot of sandwich places have removed them. Sifu, I owe you an email.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:52 PM
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What, is that the real FL?


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:53 PM
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I know most people here hate Subway, but I find it passable enough to have gone to a bunch of different locations (some really are awful), but they don't appear to offer oil and vinegar in Canada. Considering I usually get oil and vinegar as my only dressing when I go to Subway, this basically stopped me from going to Subway unless desperate.

In England (yes, I should be embarrassed to have gone to Subway in London), they offer corn as part of the default "everything." Amusingly, when I asked for everything except the corn, the people behind me in line started requesting no corn as well. The people in front all took the corn quietly.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:56 PM
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48: That's why I keep my sprouts next to my plutonium.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:56 PM
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49: we have this sprouts thing going.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:57 PM
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but they don't appear to offer oil and vinegar in Canada.

If they did have gravy, that would be just perfect.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 9:57 PM
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Perfect because I enjoy seeing Canadian stereotypes in action, not because I'd want to eat cold cuts and gravy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 10:01 PM
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Oh god, the Thai place where I get pad Thai for lunch includes some kind of really fat sprouts, which I always eat because the pad Thai is too spicy (I think they're fatter than alfalfa sprouts), and tonight I was kind of ill because of something in the mix. The sprouts look none too clean, and I should really abandon my devil-may-care attitude toward cheap food.


Posted by: Bave | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 10:02 PM
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Corn on a sandwich? To think I had this crazy notion that people in London were civilized.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 10:02 PM
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Subway tastes like plastic, although a different kind of plastic than Quizno's.


Posted by: Bave | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 10:04 PM
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There's a semi-secret Thai place near somewhere I used to work where their fried rice special (Tuesdays, I think) was pretty good but their standard menu offerings were pretty variable. I generally went only on Tuesdays.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 10:04 PM
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You know who made the world's worst sandwiches? Mao.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 10:42 PM
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59: Maonnaise made everyone ask, "Y?"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 10:48 PM
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Mao-zi.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 10:51 PM
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32:

I'm utterly shocked that my workplace doesn't. What kind of morons don't see the value in providing free coffee to people you expect to work hours and hours a day for a pittance?

IBM. Shit coffee too.

Which is why they always come and hold meetings at our offices.


Posted by: Martin Wisse | Link to this comment | 07-20-10 11:50 PM
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Anyway, minimum short of sandwich fillings that you may find in a Dutch canteen: ham, salami or cervelaat, boterhamworst (reconstituted pig or cow meat), young cheese, medium cheese, old cheese, light cheese, cheese with cumin, (all dead, wrapped in plastic), Beef American (raw meat), some sort of spreadable cheese in fifteen fucking flavours, little tubs of butter or margerine, no oil, no vinegar, little McDonalds type satches of mayo, ketchup and mustard, something weirdly meat like for the vegetarians, boiled eggs, various egg or chicken based salads (dunno which came fists) with if you're in luck some chicken satay salad, KROKETTEN! (but only on Friday).

Best sandwich you can get: osseworst with onion, basically semi-spreadable raw cow meat in slices; great if you want some privacy the rest of the afternoon...


Posted by: Martin Wisse | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 12:02 AM
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bulkie roll

Is this what normal people call a Kaiser roll or a hard roll?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 8:06 AM
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What's your new job, JM? Maybe you said on another thread (hey, that rhymes!), but I missed it.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 8:07 AM
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Most important is that they have edible mustard: not that French's style yellow shit, the absolute minimum acceptable is Gulden's and I'd prefer something better. Same with hot dog stands.


Posted by: Middle Aged Man | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 9:21 AM
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Corn is a vegetable in Europe. Something exotic to sprinkle into salad, frex.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 9:28 AM
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There's a deli/gas station here that's fond of putting corn into wraps. It seems odd, considering corn is rather fall-y out-y, but then it's also odd that there's a rather nice deli that sells gas.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 9:50 AM
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FL??!!!?!


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 12:31 PM
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Arugula, obvs.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 12:46 PM
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FL has reduced alameida to capital letters!


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 12:48 PM
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At a bare minimum, an alameida post should contain capital letters, punctuation, and rosy toes.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 12:51 PM
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It already contains mystery!


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 12:53 PM
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I am appalled that there are workplaces without coffee machines, and I don't even drink coffee.

When Ma Bell was in 'please for the love of God someone buy us' mode, they tried to show some cost-cutting camaraderie by canceling the daily catered lunches at HQ. That offended the haves, though, so they decided to vengefully further extend the team spirit by pulling all coffee makers out of all break rooms company-wide in a general ouroboros of 'if you suffer, we suffer, so you suffer' management thinking. What a crapfest that place was.

Bare minimum I would expect would be white and wheat breads, two cheeses (swiss & American), ham, turkey, roast beef, onions (no color preference), romaine (or better), tomato, yellow mustard, mayo. The sandwich station in the cafeteria nearest my office has significantly better than that, but that's what I would expect as the barest of bare minimum.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 1:34 PM
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cost-cutting camaraderie

At my most hand-wringy point during the financial collapse, StanleyCo was doing belt-tightening and decided to stop providing cups for the coffee. From an environmental perspective, I fully supported the move; I mean, everyone's got a cup she can bring in to work.

But if Management had gotten far enough down the cutting list that they reached the part that said "Cups", I didn't want to imagine what the fuck was coming next.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 1:43 PM
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But if Management had gotten far enough down the cutting list that they reached the the part that said "Cups", I didn't want to imagine what the fuck was coming next.

Whereas at several places I've worked, the rented potted plants were a pretty reliable leading indicator of a tough spell coming on.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 1:47 PM
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65.---I'm taking Bave's old job! Unfogged is so useful...


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 1:48 PM
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76: People rent potted plants? That's odd. Many plants are free and pots are readily, cheaply available.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 1:53 PM
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76. This too is my experience. Most places I've worked only provide cups for guests on the assumption that people prefer their own because they feel less uniform.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 1:55 PM
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78: People rent potted plants?

Yeah, at least the nice, big lobby and reception area-type stuff. Sometimes more. Often with as a service with watering, trimming and maintenance thrown in.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 2:01 PM
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I like alfalfa sprouts on sandwiches with toasted bread, but not otherwise.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 4:02 PM
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Often with as a service with watering, trimming and maintenance thrown in.

A guy I know is in this business. Boy howdy has he been hammered in this downturn.


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 4:06 PM
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74, 75: my (current and/or new) office has a coffee vending machine (a buck for a small, truly horrible cup of coffee -- excelsior!) and they have indeed stopped supplying cups to go along with it. You might say "damn, Sifu, watch out. That place sounds like it's on its last legs", and then I might tell you where it was, and then you would laugh and laugh.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 4:11 PM
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and then you would laugh and laugh

Drinks are notoriously overpriced at comedy clubs. What I can't figure out is why a comedy club would hire someone to build killer robots. Maybe to act as bouncers?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 4:17 PM
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FL?

Well, it's true about the sprout health risk, alas, since otherwise one would like to have sprouts (perhaps some other kind? are they less risky?) at one of these sandwich stations of which y'all speak.

I'm kind of sorry I missed this thread, food threads being among my favorites.

Ideal sandwich station options: wheat, rye, multigrain bread, various wraps, ciabatta or foccacia; smoked turkey, roast chicken; hummus; roasted red peppers, roasted eggplant; provolone, havarti, swiss, mozzarella (fresh and otherwise), feta; mustard (yellow and spicy brown), aioli, pesto; romaine lettuce, onions, black olives, tomatoes.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 6:15 PM
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Broccoli sprouts are delicious. I don't buy sprouts very often, but I like them.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 6:23 PM
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I associate coffee vending machines with Europe for some reason.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 6:26 PM
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86: Yeah, I was going to say broccoli sprouts. I think they're more robust and meaty, less likely to become wilty and slimy; it's been quite a while since I've had them.

Sprouts are really easy to grow yourself -- that is, they pretty much grow themselves, and just require a large, open-mouthed jar, some cheesecloth, and a bit of attention to rinsing them regularly. They kind of just grow in water/moisture. It's been a while since I've done this. Sprouting things like lentils is pretty cool as well. Cooking with sprouted things is super-nutritious and eating them makes you feel strong!

Ahem. I should look into this again.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 6:41 PM
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I sincerely love you, parsi, but sprouts taste like manky pubes. Phbleath.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 7:25 PM
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You've just never had broccoli sprouts, Robust. Or do you hate broccoli as well?!

I observe that you mentioned upthread the desirability of roast beef. I'm tolerant there -- for a second I was afraid you were a fan of corned beef.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 7:38 PM
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At my most hand-wringy point during the financial collapse, StanleyCo was doing belt-tightening and decided to stop providing cups for the coffee.

I had a roommate in the spring of 2008 who worked as a cook (specialty: pastries) in the dining area of the Merrill Lynch building. His employer was the dining services contractor, not Merill Lynch itself, but I wonder what happened when Merill Lynch ceased to exist.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 8:14 PM
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when Merrill Lynch ceased to exist.

It didn't cease to exist; it was acquired by Bank of America.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 8:23 PM
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I know that. But looking things up to see whether there were a bunch of layoffs, I see that the bailout apparently was very good for them. So I guess they still have a dining room.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 07-21-10 8:33 PM
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You've just never had broccoli sprouts, Robust. Or do you hate broccoli as well?!

Broccoli is pretty not-okay, largely due to texture, but I'm trying to get over that. It is one of the many foods to which Rah has re-introduced me over the years.

I observe that you mentioned upthread the desirability of roast beef. I'm tolerant there -- for a second I was afraid you were a fan of corned beef.

Corned beef hash on the other hand? Dee-lish.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 6:11 AM
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Corned beef rules. Corned beef hash rules. Sprouts are good. Broccoli's good. Look at all the omni in my voracious!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 6:42 AM
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95 is mostly correct, if you mean "some sprouts are good." Eating excessive sprouts makes me feel like an ungulate, which I am not.

Though in checking to make sure that ungulate means what I think it means I find that aardvarks are ungulates, and I wouldn't mind being an aardvark. I'm a big fan of snuffly mammals.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:01 AM
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Sprouts are yummy. Especially mustard sprouts. But there just aren't many foods that I don't like.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:12 AM
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97: Mmm. Radish sprouts, too. Spicy sprouts of all kinds + broccoli sprouts!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:13 AM
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But there just aren't many foods that I don't like.

Yeah, me neither. I don't love beef tongue. Or, um, those regular supermarket mushrooms you put in salad. And when you accidentally get a piece of gill when you're eating a whole fish, that's kind of gross. Oh, and chicken feet, while perfectly edible, are kind of not really worth it.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:16 AM
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I just realized I had a pretty yummy thing with beef tongue not that long ago. Beef tongue on its own, I guess. Oh, and Vegemite is disgusting.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:18 AM
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Beef tongue is nature's liverwurst. Of course, you might not like liverwurst either.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:31 AM
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I rate most sprouts where I rate iceberg lettuce - not interesting enough to like or dislike. Brussels sprouts of course are the veg. the angels eat in heaven, when they're not eating broccoli (purple sprouting, not Calabrese, which is a poor substitute).


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:36 AM
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Apparently you lot call what we call sprouting broccoli calabrese, and what we call calabrese, broccoli. Thus are new languages formed. The best type I've ever eaten was something I only ever came across in Naples (Italy) which was like our broccoli/your calabrese, only leafier, and was fantastic.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:42 AM
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Of course, you might not like liverwurst either.

I love liverwurst. I find it almost wholly unlike tongue, however.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:43 AM
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I really like putting potato chips on a sandwich.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:45 AM
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103: We really don't call any form of broccoli "calabrese" here -- and I am an expert, I tell you. Here you really only see the term on seed packets.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:50 AM
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107

It saddens me that 96 is unsigned. I hereby christen its author Snuffly Mammal Fan.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:55 AM
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108

OK, in Britain calabrese is the thick stemmed thing with a head like a failed green cauliflower; broccoli by default is the thin stemmed sprouting varieties, with separate purple or green flowers.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:56 AM
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109

Today I'm a snuffly mammal, and I'm not fond of it.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:56 AM
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110

108: Our thin ones are usually called broccoletti or broccolini. (If you care to learn the nature of my expertise -- which is a joke, actually -- you can mail to the gee mail!)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:59 AM
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111

I'm quite easy about sandwich fillings as long as they don't have f'cking cucumber in them.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 7:59 AM
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112

107: Oops. 'Twas I.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:01 AM
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113

Why does the name "broccoli rabe" involve the word "broccoli", anyway?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:03 AM
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114

110. When I get home.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:03 AM
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115

111. Agreed, although I'm not that fussy (see above re sprouts and iceberg). Dr Johnson had the right idea about cucumbers.

Isn't "broccoli rabe" a cross?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:05 AM
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116

I recommend.

They send out mouthwatering e-mail with the day's menu about 1100, just as you start to think about lunch.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:09 AM
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117

105: Potato chips on a sandwich are tasty, but I can only assume that sort of behavior will lead you to be punished by God.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:10 AM
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118

IIRC, I mentioned the cucumber thing at the meetup the other week, to general mystification, but I might have bee expressing it in a drunkenly confused way.

And yes, Johnson had it right.

The perfumed flavour of cucumbe is one that I really don't like, except when it comes in the form of raita.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:11 AM
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119

I really like putting potato chips Cap'n Crunch and Pixie Stix on a sandwich


Posted by: Allison Reynolds | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 9:50 AM
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120

I'm late again in following this thread, but: what is wrong with cucumber [she inquires sweetly]?

I've been on a cucumber kick lately -- cool and refreshing! crunchy! good during grotesquely hot weather! though maybe not especially nutritious -- and I'm encountering a surprising number of people afflicted by teh cucumber-hatred.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 11:22 AM
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121

I've been on a cucumber kick lately

Me too! And the kids eat them, which is a bonus. I can see not caring for the ones in the grocery store, which are flavorless, and certain subspecies (is that the correct taxonomy?) are much better than others.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 11:46 AM
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122

Who could hate cucumbers? They're the vegetable equivalent of watermelon. (Not nearly as yummy, but that is true to the nature of vegetables vs. fruits).


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 11:51 AM
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123

Do pickles count? Because otherwise I'm not a fan of cucumbers.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 11:55 AM
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124

||

Hey, do you guys remember the limerick barista? She told me today she voted for McCain in 2008, because of the "taxes". When pressed on the tax issue—specifically, whether she makes in excess of $250,000 a year—she explained that no, she does not, but her dad does. Adding: "Two hundred fifty thousand dollars just doesn't go as far as people think."

And then I poked out my eyes with the rusty nails that I had found alongside the five dollars.

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 11:55 AM
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125

The barrista who votes for McCain
From taxes would like to abstain.
Well, really her dad
Was whose money she had
A not unfamiliar refrain.


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 12:00 PM
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122: I do! I think there's a peculiar flavor in cucumbers that not everyone can taste. I can and I don't like it.

I do like pickles though.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 12:05 PM
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127

Who could hate cucumbers? They're the vegetable equivalent of watermelon.

I despise both cucumbers and watermelons (but I love dill pickles). I subscribe to peep's theory of You People Just Can't Taste That Stank.

Also, that barrista is a moron and TLL is hilarious.


Posted by: Robust McManlyPants | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 12:27 PM
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128

Give it to Mikey McManlyPants. He won't eat anything.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 12:42 PM
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129

This is the first I've heard of the strange taste some people perceive in cucumbers. It would explain a lot, since I haven't otherwise understood the hostility.

Stanley, this is a non-starter, but maybe you could explain to the barrista that the $250,000 tax thing is a marginal tax increase. You know, only a higher tax rate on anything above $250,000. Perhaps she will go home muttering to herself about going Galt, though.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 12:53 PM
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130

re: 129

It's a sort of perfumey taste; it's not necessarily completely unpleasant. It can work for me in a raita where it's counterbalanced by other flavours, and also small amounts in certain salads is fine. But when it's in sandwiches I find the perfumey flavour really quite nasty, and I'd never eat it as crudité.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:01 PM
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131

"Two hundred fifty thousand dollars just doesn't go as far as people think."

I love this kind of logic. Median household income is ~50K. I think the vast majority of people--even the ones who are abysmally bad at math--understand that 5x that amount goes 5x as far.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:04 PM
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132

"Crudite" would make a good name for a race of aliens in a bad Sci Fi movie from the 60s.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:05 PM
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130: Yes, I probably dislike it a bit more than ttaM, but this is pretty much how I feel about cucumbers as well.

I do pick up a similar flavor from watermelons, but I can still enjoy watermelons if they are sweet enough.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:08 PM
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134

You might say "damn, Sifu, watch out. That place sounds like it's on its last legs", and then I might tell you where it was, and then you would laugh and laugh.

You work for the Heritage Foundation, don't you.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:08 PM
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135

5x that amount goes 5x as far

Sure, but her (dad's) expenses are five times as much, also. You think maids are free?


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:10 PM
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136

131: But she's right. The poor girl has to work, apparently.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:10 PM
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137

The barrista just isn't very bright, yet anyway. She's in her twenties, maybe early twenties? Her dad tells her in rough outline that things are tight, or tighter than they once were, and, well. I'm not sure there's any way to tell someone that her dad is in the wrong.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:11 PM
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138

"Crudite" would make a good name for a race of aliens in a bad Sci Fi movie from the 60s.

I always pronounce "crudite" to rhyme with "Luddite" and laugh and laugh. My wife is not amused.


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:12 PM
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139

I love this kind of logic. Median household income is ~50K. I think the vast majority of people--even the ones who are abysmally bad at math--understand that 5x that amount goes 5x as far.

It's probably because of the UMC perception of things as necessities that are, at best, niceties. Yesterday I had to listen to an older faculty member trying to shame a young one over buying a modest house in a relatively moderately priced place because the guy's future children will suffer due to the mediocre schools. In the handful of neighborhoods in the entire state that the older guy deems acceptable for raising children, it's probably true that $250k/yr is marginally getting by.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:13 PM
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140

I'm not sure there's any way to tell someone that her dad is in the wrong.

It sounds like this: "your dad is wrong!"


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:14 PM
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137: I'm not sure there's any way to tell someone that her dad is in the wrong.

How about, "I'm sure your stepmother has some issues and you can be upset with her for taking Mel away from your mom, but if you listen to these tapes you will see that he didn't flirt with racism and misogyny so much as take them to a cheap hotel and have a threesome with them."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:15 PM
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142

It's the underlying assumption that really gets me: that no one is rich enough that they should have to pay taxes unless they're left with enough after-tax income to satisfy every possible want.


Posted by: Not Prince Hamlet | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:17 PM
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143

You think maids are free?

If only he was leasing an apartment in Texas!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:18 PM
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144

You think maids are free?

The real expense these days is luggage handlers.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:19 PM
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145

The barrista just isn't very bright, yet anyway.

Stanley, here is your chance to play Henry Higgins! Why, after a year of dating this wretch, through your constant pedagogery you could pass her off as Rachel Maddow at the Modern Language Association Ball!


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:27 PM
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146

"I sold lattes. I didn't sell myself. Now you've made a lady of me I'm not fit to sell anything else. Back to you, Keith."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:30 PM
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You guys are being mean! She's just really young and naive! Her dad probably hasn't told her a thing about the actual finances! It all happens by magic as far as she knows.

And have you seen Rachel Maddow's high school yearbook photo?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:39 PM
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148

Her dad probably hasn't told her a thing about the actual finances!

Apparently he had told her "the stocks are down now, so we have less money", which didn't exactly go a long way towards garnering my sympathy. Also, she said weirdly contradicting things like, "I mean, I know John McCain would have been a horrible, horrible president."


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:46 PM
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149

"I mean, I know John McCain would have been a horrible, horrible president."

She's begging you, Stanley. Don't be a putz. I'm sure McManus would be happy to be Col Pickering.


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:49 PM
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Modern Language Association Ball

Man, I wish. The medievalists have a ball at theirs, but we don't. Sometimes the 18c conference involves singing and acting up, but no dancing.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:53 PM
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151

"the stocks are down now, so we have less money"

That is clearly her attempt to let you know that she's now poor enough to date you.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:54 PM
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152

"I mean, I know John McCain would have been a horrible, horrible president."

Oh good grief. I hope at the very least you said, "Well, maybe it's not good to vote for him."


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:54 PM
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Also, she said weirdly contradicting things like, "I mean, I know John McCain would have been a horrible, horrible president."

Let me run this through my Young Translator Program...beep-boop...boop...Ah, here we go:

"I repeat things other people say and I don't really have the means or inclination to evaluate them."

Hope that clears things up!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:55 PM
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weirdly contradicting things like, "I mean, I know John McCain would have been a horrible, horrible president."

I knew someone in 2000 who was sort of the reverse: die-hard conservative who said he "had" to vote for Gore, even though he thought Gore would be a horrible, horrible president, because Bush was "for tort reform" and his dad (a lawyer, also conservative) told him tort reform would be very bad for lawyers. I thought the whole thing was incredibly sad, but I didn't argue with him about it.


Posted by: Brock Landers | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:56 PM
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155

I refuse to believe that the Calabrese is overrated.

Who could hate cucumbers? They're the vegetable equivalent of watermelon.

Cucumbers are fruits in the same family as watermelon, which helps to explain why they taste like watermelon rind.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:57 PM
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156

Single issue voters aren't always about abortion, Brock.


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 1:59 PM
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But, if the barista is spending this much time talking to you, she's either interested in you or the coffee house is about to close for lack of business. Baristas never say anything to me about anything but my order.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 2:02 PM
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157: Clearly, she should have been using her copious free time at work to read up on tax policy, yet Stanley encouraged her to write limericks. Stanley is an enabler.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 2:06 PM
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159

Sure, blame it on the limerick-loving latte-lapping liberals.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 2:20 PM
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160

There's no need to spew slurs like "latte lapper." This isn't junior high, essear.


Posted by: Clurr | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 2:59 PM
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161

You must be new here.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 3:02 PM
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162

Or Clurr has known you since junior high.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 3:08 PM
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163

My uncle in the Yukon hates cucumbers with a passion, but cucumbers grow really, really well in his little greenhouse. So every summer, he grows immense cucumbers which he gives away to his neighbors.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 3:14 PM
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163: Before the Mat-Su Valley area of Alaska became known for growing Palins, it was famous for its huge produce. For instance (possibly in the wrong thread).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:00 PM
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165

Christ, that thing looks like an alien life form.

I posted some Palin crap from Alaska on the Unfogged Flickr group.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 8:03 PM
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166

FL!


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 9:59 PM
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167

So every summer, he grows immense cucumbers which he gives away to his neighbors.

Dirty!


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 07-22-10 10:39 PM
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168

Dirty!

Like that Bastard.


Posted by: GZA | Link to this comment | 07-23-10 6:51 AM
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