Re: Sham sham sham

1

The problem with using a pillow sham for sleeping is you can't turn them over, denying you the cool, and possibly dry, side (depending on your drooling habits).


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 08-29-10 9:06 PM
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Why can't you turn them over?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-29-10 9:09 PM
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I thought the problem with pillow shams for sleeping is that they aren't made of fabrics that are (a) well suited for having your oily head and drooling mouth on them for nights at a time, (b) necessarily machine washable.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-29-10 10:50 PM
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"thought the problem... was," that should be, I suppose.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-29-10 10:51 PM
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pillows are such a fucking scourge.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 08-29-10 11:13 PM
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possibly dry, side (depending on your drooling habits).

The bottom side is only possibly dry? Holy smokes, Egpplant, exactly how much do you drool?


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 12:03 AM
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I bought some pillow shams for our regular pillows because they were colorful and paisley

If I had pillows that were colorful and paisley, I'd probably just get new pillowcases, but I suppose covering them up with neutral shams would work.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 12:29 AM
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One foggy night in San Francisco last month, the bottom side of the pillow was both damp and cold. It was kind of disturbing.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 12:57 AM
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9

I knew the apocalypse was near when ms bill and I spent 15 minutes discussing (and purchasing) pillow shams.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 5:05 AM
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These shams seem to be made of cotton.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 5:34 AM
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2: Don't shams have a slit down the center of one side, or am I thinking of some other fabricky covering?
6: All I'm going to say is that trick only works once a night.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 6:34 AM
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What the world really needs is a pillow case dispenser that rolls them out like the paper coverings in doctor's examination rooms.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 6:53 AM
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I had a dream about pillows last night. Glenn Beck and pillows.

What the fuck, right?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 6:53 AM
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I guess some shams do have the seam down the middle, and ruffles around the edges. Ours are side-seamed, though, and ruffle-free. They're just gigantic.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 6:55 AM
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Did you wake up to find your marshmallows plotting your destruction with Woodrow Wilson?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 6:55 AM
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side-seamed, though, and ruffle-free
Are you sure these aren't just pillow cases?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:01 AM
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Maybe that's why they were at the outlet mall. They're nonfunctional as shams, but perfectly useful as giant pillow cases.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:03 AM
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I had a dream about pillows last night. Glenn Beck and pillows.

Those aren't Glenn Beck and pillows.


Posted by: Gonerill | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:23 AM
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19

How 'bout those Bears?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:24 AM
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When I was young I heard an announcer on Monday Night Football say that Brett Favre was "as cool as the other side of the pillow." Stuck with me.


Posted by: bill | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:29 AM
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21

For some reason, I feel like saying "ShamWOW".


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:36 AM
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I can't believe Heebie won't even acknowledge and discuss the deep privilege that allows her to use these shams.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:38 AM
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Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:40 AM
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By "shams" I mean that we're hiring a housekeeper to cradle our heads while we sleep.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:41 AM
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OT: My subconscious grows more and more middle-aged. This guy was fooling around obnoxiously on a little bike on the bike path this morning -- going very slowly all the way over on the left of the lane, then speeding up and swerving around, jumping curbs, jumping back onto the path, and at one point he came up fast on my right on a narrow part of the path and startled me and I yelled at him. Very pretty young man -- big tall guy, deep tan, broad-shouldered muscular but narrow-hipped, flashing white grin against the deep tan, you know the look. And my subconscious, reaching around for epithets with which to address a really devastatingly attractive young man being an asshole, came up with "Kid".

I didn't quite yell "Treat me with respect, I'm old enough to be your mother," but it felt a little like that.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:51 AM
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25: You need to remind him that he isn't going to be young and good looking forever, so he better learn some fucking manners.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:55 AM
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By "shams" I mean that we're hiring a housekeeper to cradle our heads while we sleep.

That's not very Oi!, heebie.


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:55 AM
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26: I was attempting to formulate "You're not going to be so pretty if you knock your front teeth out doing that kind of thing," but didn't get the sentence formed in time to yell it at him.

To his credit, he did swerve by me a couple of minutes later and apologize. I still don't think he figured out that I was yelling at him because he was doing something genuinely dangerous (that is, the path is narrow, and there are a lot of people moving at very different speeds on it. It's workable because people are moving predictably, and the more unpredictable elements like joggers and rollerbladers are pretty slow so you can pass them quickly. Having a bicyclist messing around at speeds from 2-20 mph and going back and forth across the path is really disturbing.) But the apology was nice.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:01 AM
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"ShamWOW" baffles me. First of all, other than in a pejorative sense, how is the product a "sham" at all? Do people call household cleaning cloths shams? (that seems weird). Also, why would you use "sham" as the name of your sleazy late night TV-pitched product? (I mean, the name literally is "fake thing . . . WOW."). Yet they've sold millions, purportedly.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:03 AM
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Sham=chamois. Those soft leather cloths you polish your car with.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:03 AM
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29: Chamois cloths, famously absorbent and frequently seen in the hands of Olympic divers as they wait for their scores to come up.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:04 AM
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Do people call household cleaning cloths shams? (that seems weird).

I think they use the word "shammy" somewhere in America though I've never heard it.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:09 AM
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Ok, obviously I've heard it because I didn't know it was spelled "chamois". But I don't think I've heard it in person.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:12 AM
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I suppose I've heard "Shammy your car" before, but I've never called those drying cloths "chamois," just drying cloths. I guess others do. Still, there is the fact that the product name also means "fake."


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:13 AM
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Chamois are a specific thing, though -- not just rags, but literally soft absorbent leather. I think the idea is to convey that microfiber cloths behave like chamois rather than like cloth.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:15 AM
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Wiktionary's pronunciation guide to chamois (RP) is a fun read.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:21 AM
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37

This post is a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.

Also, thanks to those of you who've talked up Gaudy Night.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:22 AM
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28: Maybe he's used to women saying "Wow, that was a really boneheaded move. To make up for it, you are going to have to fuck me in the bushes over there." After a while, he just swerves in front of people as a way of getting laid.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:24 AM
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37: It's the best one! (Murder Must Advertise is 2d.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:27 AM
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Isn't it great? I have a soft spot for Have His Carcass, with Harriet sulking and being unreasonable, but it's probably not as good as Murder Must Advertise.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:39 AM
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40: Oh, I love that one, too. It has puzzle solving! And oily dagos! (I believe that is even the term used.)


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:41 AM
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And unexpected acrostics!


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:43 AM
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Why I like the ShamWOW phenomenon (apart from the fact that it's fun to say "ShamWOW") is that it gives me hope that if I can just hit on the right catch-phrase and delivery, I can make a million dollars doing very little.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 9:18 AM
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44

42: And the Playfair Square! Can't beat that.


Posted by: Gabardine Bathyscaphe | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 9:44 AM
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45

"Gaudy Night" was my first Wimsey book and I found it confusing and incredibly slow. I am glad Smearcase's experience is more enjoyable.

I also left it expecting Wimsey's nephew to be a recurring sort of sidekick character and as far as I can tell he never says anthing or does anything in any other book (although they refer to him now and then).


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 9:51 AM
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46

There are a couple of short stories where he shows up as a child, but I think his only adult appearance is in GN.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 9:57 AM
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Are we supposed to sing the title of this one to "Chain of Fools" or is there something even better? I thought at first it was a buffalo buffalo etc. sentence, but now it's got musical accompaniment for me.

I have a bright bright paisley sham and duvet set from my prior apartment (and, most embarrassingly, a matching jacket; Isaac Mizrahi for Target was all about reusing prints) and I put it in the laundry the other day, only to find a message from my partner asking about "this three-piece red thing in the washing machine," which made me paranoid I'd accidentally dyed something. It's too cheerful for our bedroom, but it'll be fine for visitors who have to sleep in the living room.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:04 AM
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48

It was just a semantic satiation kind of thing, but I always encourage singing post titles.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:05 AM
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48: Sham-sham-shaaaaaaam! Having mental backup singers is definitely improving my day.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:07 AM
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50

The lose-lose thread is bringing me way down. I think I may need to hire real backup singers to follow me around and harmonize everything I say. That would definitely pick me up and make teaching more interesting.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:17 AM
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37, 39: You so crazy, Oudemia. Murder Must Advertise over Gaudy Night, and it's not even close.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:22 AM
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52

51: You, you boy, you.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:27 AM
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53

Gaudy night is certainly the best one, but it's a damn close run thing with Murder Must Advertise.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:31 AM
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Are we supposed to sing the title of this one to "Chain of Fools"

Oh good. I thought it was just me.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:36 AM
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55

I actually wound up with "Woolly Bully" in my head, so thank you for the upgrade.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:45 AM
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I thought it was a [deprecated] Monty Python, and thought it needed at least one more "Sham".


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:50 AM
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I found the mystery/dastardly plot aspect of Murder Must Advertise pretty stupid, but otherwise enjoyed it. I'm pretty sure I enjoyed Gaudy Night more though.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:52 AM
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It's too cheerful for our bedroom

Your bedroom is a grim and foreboding place?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:53 AM
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59: I did put that in there deliberately, yes, to give that impression, but in reality it's merely a color scheme issue since the bedroom still has the paint and wallpaper borders the previous owners chose 7+ years ago. Clearly the time spent not updating the house would be better spent rereading Wimsey novels.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:57 AM
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59: Clearly.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:58 AM
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I'm glad to see that Chris Y likes Sayers. I've wondered if Peter Wimsey is one of those things loved by US anglophiles but ignored or disliked by actual Britons.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 10:59 AM
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Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 11:01 AM
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And while I enjoy imagining Aretha's backup singers perfoming the post title, I'd like to suggest that KC and the Sunshine Band is also an awesome choice. And really, whose booty couldn't use a bit of chamoising?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 11:03 AM
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Gaudy Night is so great, but it seems like it would not be the best place to start.

My grandmother (an Englishwoman, for Halford's information) once went to see Dorothy Sayer give a talk and said she was a little... odd about Peter Wimsey, talking about him rather more as if he were a real person than seemed entirely sane.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 11:34 AM
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neb's mom is so shammy, she ain't that shammy.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 11:39 AM
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It's too cheerful for our bedroom, but it'll be fine for visitors who have to sleep in the living room

One person's cheer is another's bane. I can't deal with visual noise. Please, brightly colored patterned fabric, go away and let me live in peace.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 11:39 AM
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Please, brightly colored patterned fabric, go away and let me live in peace.

SCREW YOU TOO!


Posted by: OPINIONATED SUNSHINE BAND | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 11:51 AM
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66: It's also reversible, so it could be the one pop of red in an otherwise tan room. Or if you ever come to visit, I'll just find an alternative!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 11:59 AM
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As for the OP, I'm withholding judgment until occasional commenter Shamhat offers certified expert guidance on the combination of shams and heads.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 12:11 PM
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69: Sham on you, Stanley.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 12:29 PM
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70: No, it's just a regular pillowcase today. I didn't feel like getting all tarted-up on a Monday, ya know?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 12:33 PM
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71: You're too cheerful for the bedroom, but you'll be fine for visitors who have to sleep in the living room


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 12:49 PM
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Gaudy Night is so great, but it seems like it would not be the best place to start.

What would be? I'm sure (absolutely positive, actually, since I remember reading it) that this has been asked and answered in the archives, but I'm too lazy to look it up. But I could use some cheer.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:46 PM
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The only ones where the internal order is really important are the Harriet books: Strong Poison, Have His Carcase, Gaudy Night, and finally Busman's Honeymoon. There's some continuity in the other books, but nothing earthshattering.

The two best other than Gaudy Night are Murder Must Advertise and Have His Carcase. But mostly you can start anywhere, although I thought the first, Whose Body, was a little weak, so if you started there and didn't like it, you could give the next one a shot.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:56 PM
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75

Or anything by Josephine Tey works too, if you're looking for some amusement along these lines.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:00 PM
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76

But I could use some cheer.

Maybe Thorn can send you one of her pillow shams?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:14 PM
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Try as she might, Thorn can't hide her sham.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:25 PM
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I have a special waterproof cover that I put on my pillow when I'm in a very sad mood. It's a crying sham.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:27 PM
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47: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVm8NgXv_G0


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 6:36 PM
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Here I sit, broken-hearted
Paid a dime but it was a sham poo.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 6:45 PM
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77, 78: I feel that if we don't acknowledge all attempts at bad puns, then bad puns will vanish, like the passenger pigeon or Disney movies without men getting injured testicles. So, good job.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:38 PM
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like the passenger pigeon or Disney movies without men getting injured testicles

Not to mention Sham-u, PBUH.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:40 PM
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81: It hurts to think that could happen. OK, not really; it's just sham pain.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 7:43 PM
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bad puns will vanish

Wanting to do away with painful experiences is a mistake - life only has meaning through enduring adversity. Before no-fault divorce, people understood this. They stuck with a bad marriage and only very rarely tried to evade the law by, say, arranging for one party to fake an affair involving the unnatural practice of mutual oral stimulation - a tactic known as the Sham 69.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 9:43 PM
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Turns out that you can have a sham and have your cake too.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 3:44 AM
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74, 75: Thanks, LB! I appreciate it.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 10:13 AM
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75. Or Ngaio Marsh.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 10:24 AM
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87: Ngaio Marsh wrote a lot of books, so if you find you like her stuff then you're sorted for some time to come - but I rate Sayers above her. Alleyn isn't quite as visible a character as Wimsey.

No love for the Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club? (52, I suppose.) Or Busman's Honeymoon?


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 10:45 AM
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89

It's unfortunate that "Greedy Night" is unavailable online.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 10:59 AM
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90

I remember liking Unnatural Death a great deal, but it's been so long since I've read it that I'm blanking on the plot. But IIRC it has a lot of Miss Climpson, who I'm very fond of.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:01 AM
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And Marsh is fun too, although I wouldn't put her on a level with Sayers or Tey. But throughout my teenage years I cherished an irrational fondness for either Rory Alleyn or Archie Goodwin, depending on which I'd been reading last. Wimsey, OTOH, never stirred a heartthrob, despite how much I enjoyed the books.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:04 AM
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I was toying with recommending Bellona Club as a starting point, but then I thought it might be too culturally alien for an American unfamiliar with Wimseyworld. Some of the others are set in less aggressively upper crust Englands. So I thought Nine Taylors instead.

I thought Busman's Honeymoon was a bit of a let down after Gaudy Night, tbh.

Alleyn is certainly no Wimsey, but Troy almost makes up for that where she appears, and they're arguably as well or better plotted than Sayers.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:11 AM
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90: Unnatural Death is the one about inheritance law and murderous women in sensible shoes. It is indeed Climpson-heavy.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:17 AM
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Is Nine Tailors the one about the church bells and f&*king change ringing? That was absolutely my least favorite, although at least now I know what people into mathrock did before mathrock was invented.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:24 AM
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92: I'm definitely unfamiliar with Wimseyworld, but I did live in the UK* for awhile so that might help ease some of the transition.

*which came with a certain level of Anglophilia.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:24 AM
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which came with a certain level of Anglophilia.

Racist.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:26 AM
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94: yes. You didn't like the descriptions of the flood and the general flat dankness of the Fenlands? I thought that was great.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:26 AM
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97: Those parts were fine, but overall I found it tedious, plus Dorothy was apparently in a preachy mood while writing it.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:29 AM
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I also didn't particularly like many or maybe even any of the Wimsey short stories very much.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:30 AM
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99. Agreed. I wouldn't recommend the shorts. I wouldn't recommend any short crime fiction in fact, except Conan Doyle. It's almost always forced and artificial; a mystery story needs space to play out in. In the case of Sherlock Holmes however, nobody cares.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:41 AM
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Yeah, the only good mystery short stories I've read have been not detective stories, but O Henry-style twist-ending crime stories. Things like Roald Dahl's story about the leg of lamb.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:44 AM
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The Scottish one (Five Red Herrings?) was good, IIRC (I've read all of her books and short stories but only once each).


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:51 AM
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I started with Gaudy Night, given to me when I was in high school by a grown-up who thought I would appreciate Harriet Vane in particular. I remember him quite fondly as a result.

Starting with Strong Poison would have made more sense narratively, but I don't know if I would have gotten as hooked. I love Strong Poison, now, though: the ridiculous London artiste scene, the born-again lockpicker, major Miss Climpson action, and sympathetic lesbian characters.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 11:55 AM
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Also, contra 92.2, I'm very fond of Busman's Honeymoon, partly because I like to see characters advance past the "happily ever after" moment. The plot works well enough and it's got some great characters. I'm delighted by Peter's mother.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 12:00 PM
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94: When I was a little girl, my parents and I used to listen to Lord Peter Wimsey radio dramas of some sort (fun with no tv!) and I remember being absolutely terrified by the scary bell stuff and having nightmares about it for years after.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 12:21 PM
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I wouldn't recommend any short crime fiction in fact, except Conan Doyle.

I woke p last night and thought, "What am I saying? Edgar Allen Poe."


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09- 1-10 1:46 AM
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