Re: Eww.

1

Oh man. I hate those realizations. Life is always better before you realize you're living in shit.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:43 PM
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Your office needs kittens!


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:46 PM
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Then I read all about how I'm going to die from the hantavirus now.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:51 PM
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1: Yeah, the first time I lived in a place with mice it took me forever to figure that out. Another vote for office cat.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:53 PM
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The technical term is "doots", heebie.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:53 PM
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Also, pacing!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:54 PM
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There used to be courtyard cats with adorable courtyard kittens. Then they were removed as unsightly, and I was made sad.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:54 PM
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Counterpoint: A few months ago, my roommate's cat was doing some sort of emotional flip-out over the roommate's (soon-to-be-ex-) husband moving out. We eventually figured out that the cat's primary form of demonstrating this emotional state was converting the lightless dirt-floor/crawlspace-y part of the basement into his own personal 10' x 20' litterbox. Cleaning up several months worth of cat crap, while crouched in a dank, darkened dirt crawlspace ≠ fun.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 1:57 PM
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8: How can you be sure it wasn't the (soon-to-be-ex-) husband using it as his own personal 10' x 20' litterbox?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:00 PM
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Then I read all about how I'm going to die from the hantavirus now.

That link seems overly inflammatory (though I clicked through, because I just had a mouse in a trap at home this weekend, which is, thankfully, an unusual occurrence).

Hanta virus fact sheet

Since infected deer mice live throughout the state, human cases of hantavirus pulmonary syndrome can occur in any part of Washington. Typically one to five cases are reported each year.

That isn't nothing, but doesn't make it sound like an epidemic.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:01 PM
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11

Instead of a mouse, it might be a rabbit with an unfortunate digestive condition.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:13 PM
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Yeah, hantavirus is pretty rare, and not transmitted by the most common types of mice. Here's the CDC's take.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:14 PM
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I'm pretty sure 11 is alluding to a mouse-rabbit centipede.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:15 PM
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During the big hantavirus scare in the Southwest a while back, I remember hearing that it spreads mostly through urine rather than droppings, but that doesn't seem to be confirmed by any of these links.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:16 PM
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13: Eww.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:17 PM
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15: M/tch is a purist and supports only centipede-centipede centipedes.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:19 PM
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Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo-centipedes.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:23 PM
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14: Do mice shit and then walk a fair bit before taking a leak? Baring evidence for that, I think mice droppings would be a very excellent marker for mice urine.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:24 PM
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I'm trying really hard to find a parsing of 17 that's grammatical.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:26 PM
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18: Does the Pope shit in the wood?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:27 PM
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^s


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:28 PM
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21: Just how many Popes are we talking about?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:29 PM
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Buffalo which are buffaloed by buffalo in turn buffalo innocent buffalo-centipedes what never harmed nobody.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:29 PM
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24

Minimum of three popes for a papal bullipede.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:30 PM
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20: I know people who shit while sitting on wood. In fact, I expect oak toilet seats will soon be hip in the same retro kind of way as trucker hats were.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:31 PM
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24: At long last, have you no sham, apostropher?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:32 PM
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25: Then next: corn cobs.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:33 PM
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Do mice shit and then walk a fair bit before taking a leak?

I have no idea.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:35 PM
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29

It's called the "volta".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:36 PM
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30

YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING: DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU PISS


Posted by: OPINIONATED MOUSE | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:36 PM
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31

I like to imagine the mouse does a fist-pump every time it finds heebie's desk unoccupied.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:39 PM
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32

This is both useful and topical (kind of), but I still wouldn't open before eating.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:39 PM
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33

So based on 32, what can you tell us about the health of the mouse in question, heebie?


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 2:56 PM
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33: Yeah, seriously, anything you could tell me would be great, heebie. We got totally ratfucked on Health Care Reform, so I can't afford to see a medical doctor.


Posted by: The Mouse in Question | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 3:21 PM
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35

Glue traps seem to be effective against mice but may be objectionable to bleeding heart liberals.


Posted by: James B. Shearer | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:33 PM
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36

I'M STILL HERE AND FEEL I HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN SOLVING THIS PROBLEM


Posted by: OPINIONATED SNAKE IN PARSIMON'S CLOSET | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:35 PM
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Glue traps are entirely not effective enough if you want the mouse dead dead dead.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:36 PM
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38

but may be objectionable to bleeding heart liberals

Oh for crying out loud. Did I miss the announcement that today was supposed to be troll day on the blog?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:37 PM
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38: I mean, there *was* a sign posted.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:40 PM
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37: Yes, and I don't think it makes me a bleeding heart liberal to not particularly want to consign a mouse to death by thirst.

(I came home yesterday to discover that one of the cats had very precisely skinned a toy mouse. I don't want to see what they'd do to a real one.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:44 PM
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LIBERAL GLUE TRAP HATERS I AM HERE FOR YOU.


Posted by: OPINIONATED SNAKE IN PARSIMON'S CLOSET | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:46 PM
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40: The last mouse I caught in a glue trap died twelve hours after I set the trap (probably, as I didn't see that it was dead with my own eyes for another 8 hours). I'm guessing he waited at least a few hours before stepping in the glue. Maybe he was already in bad shape or maybe he died of something besides thirst or maybe mice get thirsty very quickly.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 8:54 PM
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42: Ah. I'm mostly familiar with them from my movie theater job; they were very good at catching our vermin but then we always had to dispatch them. The people who set the traps (hired exterminators who came by...once a week? something like that) told us just to chuck them in the trash still alive but none of us could stomach that. Not my favorite job.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 08-30-10 9:14 PM
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44

When Mrs y's workplace was infested by mice, they came down hard on leaving any kind of food around, which sounds obvious, but made a lot of difference quite fast. No apple core in waste bins, no biscuits in the communal area for people to help themselves, sweep up your toast crumbs and dispose of them underseal or down a drain. And so on.

Anyway, the little buggers disappeared after a while.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 3:46 AM
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We had mice last year - including while I was cooling my heels with the Peabody ducks - and basically, what 44 says, with more cats. Traps will kill a mouse now and then, a cat is better.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 4:00 AM
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Glue traps seem to be effective against mice but may be objectionable to bleeding heart liberals.

A very large glue trap would also be effective against bleeding-heart liberals. As would a very large cat.

Also, with reference to mice and cats: Toxo!
http://www.edge.org/documents/archive/edge307.html
Absolutely fascinating and a bit scary.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 4:12 AM
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47

We *may* have a mouse, and our downstairs neighbors have a cat that I was absentmindedly thinking of borrowing for a day or two. Will just any cat do for catching a mouse, or does the cat have to have experience and skillz?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:33 AM
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A glue trap, paper towel, and a hammer are quite effective at making sure your mouse doesn't get to shit on your desk ever again without any unsightly blood to trouble your bleeding heart.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:38 AM
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49

Many cats totally ignore mice. It's not so much skill as whether they've been bred to it. You can only try and see.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:41 AM
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50

a cat is better. Not if you're allergic.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:56 AM
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Has anyone else noticed that the mouse-poop-on-heebie's-desk problem first came into existence AFTER January 21st, 2009? Anyone apart from Bob, I mean.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:44 AM
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I have thrown a living mouse into the trash, but that was years ago and I now feel bad about it. My old boss once faced a live mouse in a glue trap and solved the problem with a sheet of heavy plastic and an unabridged Webster's. At meeting with him, I would never sit by the bookshelf.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:29 AM
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53

I have dispatched glued mice with a horseshoe to the neck.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:33 AM
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54

I have glued a horseshoe to the neck of dispatched mice. And the fucking Tate still won't return my calls.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:44 AM
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54: You need video.

53: That's actually a line from an early draft of Folsom Prison Blues.


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:56 AM
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The dead squirrel that was on the road this morning is gone. We either have a neighbor who is thoughtful or has an unrestrained dog.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:11 PM
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47, 49: While a cat does need skillz to actually catch mice (prior experience or natural aptitude will do), IME even a useless bozo of a cat will usually scare the mice away for awhile. So it's helpful regardless.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:19 PM
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I think heebie should get drunk, wait until dark and blast the mouse with a .45 like John Wayne in "True Grit". Well, I guess it was technically a rat in the movie, but still. And then of course she couldn't say that she served the rat with a writ, like the Duke had to just to win an Oscar.


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:31 PM
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even a useless bozo of a cat will usually scare the mice away for awhile

Sez you. I know all about that phony Warren T. Rat, and we got a plan!


Posted by: Fievel | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:36 PM
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So what's the most humane sort of trap to purchase for mice capture? We had mice, or a mouse, in the closet (you know which one) which seems to be gone now that the closet has been cleaned out, but it may well be back at any time. I confess I found droppings on my desk, and one or two near the kitchen trash can as well. Ew.

The whole thing is surely due to the absence of cats in the house, but I'm not up for another cat yet. We had four, then three, then two for another year or two, then they passed in rapid succession. I'ma take a breather on that for a while.

N.B. The snake resides in the basement now, OPINIONATED SNAKE IN CLOSET.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:36 PM
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the closet (you know which one)

The … water … closet?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:42 PM
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60: Are there options beyond gluetraps and the cartoon-style snap trap? As between those two, I think the latter is more humane.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:45 PM
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There are traps that close them in so that you can drive them out to country and release them, but you lose the satisfaction of snuffing out their filthy little flames.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:47 PM
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There are traps that close them in so that you can drive them out to country the nearest math department and release them.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:51 PM
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62: Not always immediately lethal though. This winter I was in the kitchen at work and I heard a gentle scraping sound. Took me a few minutes to realize it was a mouse, partially imobilized by a snap trap that he or she had triggered while backwards, so that his or her tiny little front paws could, with much difficulty, drag him or herself along the tile floor. I think I just threw it in the trash, figuring the end would come soon enough. But I felt bad afterwards.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 5:52 PM
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the satisfaction of snuffing out their filthy little flames.

Nah, I don't hate them. Rats would be a different matter. These are just little mice, basically field mice. This house is in the country, sort of, in the first place. Cats are the most obvious solution to a struggle over territory. I don't really have a problem with poisoning with respect to the mice, as long as it doesn't involve a lengthy and painful death. I was hoping there might be something that would, I don't know, make them pass out from asphyxiation before dying.

||

I paused to listen to Obama on Iraq. Hm. Segment on the importance of domestic investment.

|>


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:04 PM
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So what's the most humane sort of trap to purchase for mice capture? We had mice, or a mouse, in the closet (you know which one) which seems to be gone now that the closet has been cleaned out, but it may well be back at any time..

NO IT AIN'T COMING BACK AND JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE SOFT FUR AND WHISKERS DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T GET THE JOB DONE, LADY


Posted by: OPINIONATED SNAKE NOW IN THE BASEMENT | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:09 PM
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SNAKE wants out of the basement, m'kay? It was apparently sighted just today trying to push open the basement screen door, but when said door was opened for it, it freaked out and snuck away inside again. Oh, SNAKE.

It's my birthday! And people are calling.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:19 PM
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These are just little mice, basically field mice shit factories for your silverware drawer.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:24 PM
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Happy Birthday, babe.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:34 PM
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I field mice the kind you can eat?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:41 PM
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71: Hanging out a shingle in the restaurant industry, Mobes?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:43 PM
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72: After peak oil.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:44 PM
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(Also, feliz cumpleaños, parsimon.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:44 PM
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68: Yes, happy birthday and thank you for the reminder because I forgot about a family member's birthday until you mentioned it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:47 PM
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Happy birthday to you!

And you should get a tin rat and leave the glue trap out of it. Then you can just the little sods go, free to freeze or fry or whatever.

max
['Or you could feed it to the snake.']


Posted by: max | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 6:59 PM
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you should get a tin rat

Is that like the scale version of the union inflatables? MICE RUN A RAT SHOP, SAY VEIU SPOKESVOLES.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:05 PM
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68: Hey! Happy birthday!


Posted by: DS | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:06 PM
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Wszystkiego najlepszego, parsimon.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:12 PM
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Happy birthday, crazy snake lady.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:22 PM
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Hey! Happy birthday, parsimon!

(And heal quickly, Alameida, although I know I have this in the wrong thread.)


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:24 PM
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60.1: Havahart traps 'r' the traps bleeding-♥ libruls luv.

Although you need to check them regularly for the ♥ part to work. (For instance if you don't go out back of your garage for a few days in the middle of dry spell during the summer and a squirrel gets into your groundhog-sized one it will die what looks like it must have been most gruesome death evah.) Sorry Mr. Squirrel--if there is a trans-species afterlife please don't chew my eyes out.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 7:38 PM
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Thanks for birthday wishes. I don't know about the crazy snake lady part. Not as far as I know.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 08-31-10 8:14 PM
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my dad favors the "sit up all night on the sofa, smoking killer weed, then taking the mice out individually with a .22" plan. surprisingly effective, but you have to be a damn good shot. he leaves a big hunk of parmesan on the table or counter, and they are eventually overcome and climb up to get shot. a little hard on the other sleepers in the house, though. if you factor in that my dad looks quite a bit like jack nicholson the whole thing will make more sense, in a steven king way. I must have told you this before, but when my mom was on the phone with her parents discussing getting divorced, he hacked the phone out of the wall with an axe. luckily, my godfather was there to physically restrain him from hacking her up too. really, like grabbed the axe handle below the head and wrestled it away from him. my family is stupid.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 09- 1-10 6:52 PM
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Alameida:

Does Pat Conroy know your family?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09- 1-10 6:54 PM
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Happy birthday, parsimon!!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09- 1-10 6:55 PM
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