Let's all spare a thought for my husband, who for a moment thought I was telling him our younger daughter had drowned, and I was being deadpan because I was in shock. I told him to sit down and have two stiff triple-bourbons, because honestly he's had a way worse day than me.
What I meant to say in 2 is that you have all my sympathy.
Er, but I don't mean by 3 "specifically you and not your husband". You know what I mean, I'm sure.
Owee! Sorry about your nose, alameida. Good luck with the tits and the Demerol.
Sorry. On the other hand, if you ever want to hook up with a hott UFC fighter, you now have the perfect icebreaker.
Good outside-the-box thinking, Halford. Now I'm at the fanciest plastic surgeon's ever, listening to smooth jazz. Possibly too smooth.
Ouch! Sorry to hear about the nose. And shouldn't the post say "Narnia"?
The canonical response would be "Titties! Hooray!" but maybe under the circumstances it's best to just sympathize. If I still had a large stack of pain meds I'd send you some, but turns out hospices don't give them back.
Would that the rest of Unfogged had this passion!
If the new tits are big enough they could be like a safety feature, causing you to bounce away from things before your face could impact.
Ow. Commiseration and sympathy.
I am impressed by the one-stop shopping. Narnia's plastic surgeons are quite efficient.
Shit Alameida, that must have hurt like a motherfucker and then some, and I don't even want to think about the chlorinated water under pressure part oh god ow. I send you morphine vibes from across the ocean. Sympathy is yours.
I once only almost broke my nose when I was a teenager, standing underneath the bell in a temple during a very crowded ceremony with a lot of singing and dancing and no room for me to move away from the big heavy brass bell. Some unwise tall person next to me was reaching over my head and pumping this bell (really meant for the ocassional light tap upon entrance) for all its musical worth, in tempo to the fast drumming, and must have hit the DIY mounting hardware's resonant frequency: I looked up, noticed that the bell seemed much larger and then was down on my knees. I'm very proud of myself for having the presence of mind to tilt my head up and quickly exit the room before the gushing fountain of blood could hit and dirty the recently ceremonially cleaned floor. I spent the rest of the weekend with bags of frozen peas stacked on my face, guzzling ibuprofen.
The point is, that wasn't even a break, it wasn't under water, and it wasn't #5, and it still hurt like a motherfucker, so yeah, Alameida---I send you totes sympathy.
ow that sounds horrible, saheli. this hurt, but not that bad. more like BONK CRUNCH OW. oh, hey, my nose, shit. the first time was the worst, blood everywhere and all, I think it just weakened it somehow so now my nose breaks easy. not that I don't still want lots of demerol and sympathy. the fancy plastic surgeon has got awesome teardrop-shaped silicon boob inserts that felt great. he let me play with them. they're not in him, though, they're on a tastefully lighted shelf. having boobs that didn't feel nice would seem to defeat the purpose.
even if I did get new boobs I wouldn't do it in the same surgery. we're going to wait till this fracture heals, and then fix it all in November/December. it's a shame I don't drink anymore, that really helped last time. actually, I had to clean my sinuses with water before going into surgery, because I had just done up a dime bag of heroin. I was worried when they gave the the valium pre-surgery I'd freak out at realizing the mortal danger and tell them. luckily, that's not how I roll. luckily? um, something. characteristically, maybe.
Yee-ow!
You should certainly get your nose fixed, if you can afford it. But how many tits do you need?
Five times? Wow. Maybe you should have an operation to replace the bone/cartilage in your nose with rubber.
Or 'adamantium'. For added fictional nasal invulnerability.
Ouch, and sympathy, btw.
This reminds of a Rugby League player who broke his nose (or rather, the other guy broke it for him), went to see a doctor, who X-rayed it and remarked that he'd broken it 5 times in all. Says yer man: "I thought it was 3...."
I hit a sledge head on, once. Sliding downhill and went head first into a sledge being dragged up the hill. Right on the bridge of the nose. Swollen and painful for days, bruised, slightly black eyes etc but it looked exactly the same after the swelling went down as before. I have had similar injuries twice since. So far the nose seems immune to any changes in appearance via injury.* So no idea if I've broken it, or just bruised the shit out of it.
* the most painful was catching a hook from a girl in our class, right on the underside of the nose. The lower 'orbit' of the nose was painful for literally weeks. Blowing my nose hurt for about a month to six weeks [longer, maybe]. I'm pretty sure that was a minor fracture or damage to the vomer/cartilage/maxilla around the base of the nose. Hurt like fuck, no visible damage.
The canonical response would be "Titties! Hooray!"
Perhaps it's time for a new tradition:
Nosebreaks! Boo!
the most painful was catching a hook from a girl in our class, right on the underside of the nose.
I knew Northern girls were famously aggressive manhunters, but I had no idea they were using hooks now. What sort of bait did she use?
Haggis dipped in curry sauce, on a little stick.
Oh, man that sucks. Possibly you could start wearing little hats with veils, to conceal an armored glass visor protecting your nose? Or start a Narnian fashion for football helmets.
Maybe you'll like the shape the break heals into? I mean, if you have to wait until November anyway.
Hats with veils are fun things to have an excuse to buy anyway!
Good luck with the pain medications.
25: This: http://pyleoflist.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/rip-hamilton.jpg
Ghetto fabulous.
27: Well, no, it just hardly seems sporting is all. Like shooting fish in a barrel.
On the OT, Narnia should just pass a law. I'm sure the right level of fines would provide proper incentives for people to refrain from autorhinofracturosis.
Ow! That sounds awful, Alameida. You have my sympathy.
31: It's just a throwaway comment. Rip wears that mask 'cause he broke his nose multiple times, has a working class (if not ghetto) background, and as basketball player is a part (to however small extent) of the hip-hop scene from which the phrase arose.
I realize that ER docs have a difficult job, but I am surprised that there are not more of them mowed down in drive-by shootings.
Good luck with the pain.
The unveiling of the new nose should be live-blogged. Or maybe a Narnia meet-up excuse!
A former college roommate to lobbying for me to visit him in Narnia.
I'm sorry about your nose, alameida. If I may, how does pain management in a medical setting work with sobriety?
The unveiling of the new nose
Way to aim high, will. Where's KR when you need him?
Well, geez. If she gets new breasts, she is going to show them off to everyone. Isnt that the first thing women do when they get them?
Showing off the new nose takes more courage.
If she gets new breasts, she is going to show them off to everyone.
Parts of them, anyway.
41: Nope, that's you.
I don't even see nipples.
The link at 39 contains one my favorite phrases:
the dear things even nommed the color off
37: All I could think when I read this was: "Say goodbye to these!"
Huh. Smearcase's blog name is an anagram for "The Mustard Bath", which is the name of apostropher's fantasy synchronized swimming team. Coincidence?
I am so, so ready for football season to start.
48: The Mustard Bath disappointed this year, huh?
the dear things even nommed the color off
So that's what happened to the fresh green breast of the new world.
50: No, that was the deer things.
43: After I read that I wanted to go apologize to my mom.
Sympathies, al!
Speaking of Cee-lo: Cee-lo covers Band of Horses.
Her color's still okay, Eggplant.
I feel like my nomming power is being insulted.
55: You and apostropher should have a nom-off.
Wow, that sucks. I hope the nose heals quickly!
55: Not at all. She simply made a phenom-nom-nomenal recovery.
56: My mom, at dawn?
I'm not worried: you should see what I can do with a flan.
My mom, at dawn?
After I read that I wanted you to go apologize to your mom.
Fair enough: she's been through enough already. We'll have to supply our own. I think I can take him.
This thread is starting to make me uncomfortable.
62: It's really starting to nom your tits, huh?
OT ethical question:
If I have fairly recently bought a new copy of a book which Sally needs to read over the summer for school, and which she's read in the past but needs to refer to, but we can't find our copy, am I doing anything wrong by downloading a pirated pdf of the damn thing? I can't see how, but maybe someone can talk me out of it.
OF COURSE YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG! YOU MISPLACED A BOOK!! WHO DOES THAT???!?
64: what a strange question. "I don't think X is wrong, but I think that thinking X is not wrong is wrong. Can someone persuade me that I am right (in other words, wrong)?"
I probably won't be able to find a site I can download it from that won't do terrible things to my computer, so eh.
It's not this book, is it? That'd be too easy.
Sure you're doing something wrong. If you lost the physical copy of the book, and then stole one from a bookstore, you'd feel bad about that, right? If you think that book piracy is wrong in general, getting that additional copy is wrong, too.
Note: Many of us do things that are wrong, all the time.
There's no way I'm reading this thread, because I'm sure it's all about people describing the grotesque ways they've injured themselves.
I'm very sorry about your nose. Also I'm sorry I read the word "crunch" in your narrative.
Note: Many of us do things that are wrong, all the time.
Sometimes even with our non-dominant hands.
If you lost the physical copy of the book, and then stole one from a bookstore, you'd feel bad about that, right?
Not analogous!
If you lost the physical copy of the book, and then stole one from a bookstore, you'd feel bad about that, right?
But that's a rival good -- if I steal a physical book, the bookstore loses the money it would get from selling it to someone else. Different, no?
No, he's just saying that's how much guilt you owe. Download the book, but feel a little bad.
A library visit would solve it (and is not wrong), but is really inconvenient in the timeframe.
The fact that a library visit would solve it is what seems to me to make a pirate download unexceptionable.
As I read LB's case, she can download the .pdf and steal a pastry from the bookstore where she got the physical copy of the book.
There's no way I'm reading this thread, because I'm sure it's all about people describing the grotesque ways they've injured themselves.
Actually, the last one of those is in comment 22, and the rest of thread was mostly about boobies before LB started in with the morality quiz.
I probably won't be able to find a site I can download it from that won't do terrible things to my computer, so eh.
See, nosflow knew what I really wanted -- a link to a nice reputable pirated-book site.
I don't think the rivalrous/non-rivalrous enters into it at all. You lost the physical book, and are now seeking to replace it with a PDF copy. The physical book you bought entitles you to review the content of that physical book; it does not entitle you to automatically view, for free, all other republications of the books contents on the web. The rivalrous/non-rivalrous might make the price you should pay for the PDF copy cheaper, but, assuming that you think that book piracy by PDF is wrong in general, the fact that you previously bought a physical copy of the book already is neither here nor there.
Indeed, a physical copy of a book is really only barely a rivalrous good; the problem with stealing a replacement book from the bookstore doesn't really hinge on the rivalrous/non-rivalrous distinction, but on the fact that your purchase of the book only entitles you to one copy of it.
I mean, just to be clear, I would totally look for the PDF. But if you think that IP piracy is generally wrong (and I generally do) this qualifies as a very, very venial sin.
80: That might not be the ideal comment to stop the g//gle-pr//fing on.
81: You're right that my having bought a copy of the book before really is neither here nor there. What's swaying me is that I don't want to own the book, I want to refer to a copy -- something that, if I can find one in the possession of someone who will let me look at it (e.g., a library), I may do regardless of copyright. The corner-cutting involved in downloading rather than schlepping the kid to a library on the weekend seems to me to be de minimus.
But the shoplifting a copy really does seem different to me, because there's injury to the bookstore.
Okay, Halford, but what if LB builds a time machine, goes back in time to the pre-book-loss days, and makes a .PDF of the owned book?
After pirating the plans for the time machine from the author of the book.
Well, you could minimize the ethical (but not legal) consequences by immediately deleting the PDF after you've referred to it.
And of course this is de minimis -- everyone reading this thread has probably done three things worse than downloading that PDF already this morning.
88: Plus, many of us voted for Obama.
90: Twice, if you count the primary.
But I brought it up mostly because I'm kind of interested by how broken my ethical intuition gets around IP issues. Anything where I try to get a feel for what would be wrong (as opposed to just what would constitute a copyright violation), makes all sorts of perfectly legal things, like library usage or buying used books, feel wrong as well.
So what if you have a legally purchased eBook in ePub format on your drive, and you backup your drive, and then the drive crashes and you restore, creating an identical but nonetheless distinct readable copy of the eBook that you lost in the drive crash?
Trick question! The answer is: copyright is fucking stupid.
Actually let me rephrase that: intellectual property per se is a broken metaphor, and leads to all kinds of fucking stupidity like copyright. There!
95: But, what about the writers, Sifu? And what about the writers' descendants? http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/20/opinion/20helprin.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=mark%20halpern%20copyright&st=cse
95: I'm not ready to throw out the idea of intellectual property altogether, just because the patent office is like issuing patents for things like masturbating with your nondominant hand.
Or you could use the Hammer of Phor.
97: you bend it to make it fit a situation that it manifestly does not fit.
Topically, a fun article on possible early negative consequences of copyright.
99: They've issued that patent? FINALLY! I'll be sending bills to the lot of you.
101: And then they ended up burning books. Seems awfully inefficient, especially for Germans.
||
Orrin Hatch isn't a GOP power player anymore and I doubt it's a political risk for him (though apparently he may face a right-wing challenger in his next primary), but it's good to see any Republican senator come out publicly on the right side of the Cordoba House debate. Despised religious minorities gotta stick together, knowwhatimean?
|>
Since apparently I didn't comment this morning even though I thought I had, condolences on the broken nose, alameida. Eek!
Eek!
Are there mice on this thread too now?
106: There weren't until you brought them in here. (Actually it was my mistake, but blaming others is more fun.)
So where should we eat brunch on Sunday?
I recommend the chocolate sprinkles.
Afterwords we can all go swimming and do some nosebreaking in alameida's honor.
Someone I know who wrote a famous textbook once got an email that said something like "Dear Prof. X, I'm a student in China and I want to learn from your book. The copy of it that I downloaded doesn't include the figures. Can you email me PDF files of all the figures?" He refused. I think I would have just sent them.
Don't worry about all the crumbs you leave behind. Me and the other guys will be on clean-up duty!
I'm still trying to figure out how heebie's office ended up in my pants.
115: Personally, I'd be more concerned with the mouse infestation you got going on down there.
There was a commenter with pants full of mice,
It's not very nice, to have pants full of mice.
He stuffed down a cat, to catch the mice . . .
Speaking of things in pants, it seems unfair that if you had your gun tucked in there and happened to shoot yourself in the testicles, leg and foot, the newspaper headline would neglect to mention the leg and foot.
Speaking of things in pants, it seems unfair that if you had your gun tucked in there and happened to shoot yourself in the testicles, leg and foot leave the safety catch off, the newspaper headline would neglect to mention the leg and foot safety catch.
A pants infestation would have to get pretty bad before I resorted to firearms.
Know what you people need? Wolves.
(Oh, and sorry Al. Hope you're feeling better already).
A pants infestation would have to get pretty bad before I resorted to wolves.
A WOLF INFESTATION WOULD HAVE TO GET PRETTY BAD BEFORE I RESORTED TO PANTS!!!
A pants infestation would have to get pretty bad before I resorted to wolves.
No ferrets worked to repeal Prop 8.
Sorry about your nose, Alameida, but you do the best rage ever. If it makes any difference, this post cheered me up tremendously.
118: I sure hope that was all with one shot.
IP intutions work very well if you realize all the rentier class trying to get money for blow and hookers are fucking sellouts
tho, another of my intuitions is taht lo-fi is preferred.
tho, another of my intuitions is taht lo-fi is preferred.
Fidelity in any of its guises is a flawed way to judge recorded sound, but I'm not sure why hi-fi per se would be dispreferred?
Dammit. I thought I posted a comment asking Alameida to see if she could snag one of those inserts as a 'take home sample' and test my (totally speculative) theory that they'd make great carry-around stress relievers. Always wanted to see if that was true. Hope you're feeling better, Alameida.
Atta boy Sifu, this thread should have more bewbies.
Instead, the summer of 2010 might be more properly measured in more subtle ways.
For Sal Medina, a newsstand operator from the Bronx, it could be measured by the number of frozen water bottles that he slipped into his pants this week to stay cool (three).
Screwed up the tags, that was all a quote from tomorrow's Times on the Hottest NYC Summer Evah.
A pants infestation would have to get pretty bad before I resorted to wolves.
When this comment was posted this afternoon, I started googling for an easily linkable version of the old joke about killing crabs with a razor, a lighter, and an icepick. So, predictably, one of our female medical writers walks into my cube while this page of search engine results is on my screen.
I got a funny look.
135: Eggstand operator Sal Monella had a brutal summer as well.
101: Seems pretty tendentious to me. It's not like England's science, literature, military, or industry declined following the invention of copyright in 1710. Nor was that the case for Germany after it adopted copyright law (I guess that was in the 19th century). Plus, this response says that Prussia adopted copyright in 1837.
Plus, this response says that Prussia adopted copyright in 1837.
The original article mentions that as well.
It's not like England's science, literature, military, or industry declined following the invention of copyright in 1710. Nor was that the case for Germany after it adopted copyright law (I guess that was in the 19th century).
No and no, and there are all sorts of other variables that you'd think would play a role, and it's an article in Spiegel. So definitely don't take it as dispositive. I stand by my use of the words "topical", "fun" and "possible", though.
it's not like England's science, literature, military, or industry declined following the invention of copyright in 1710 ...
Well, you see, around 1707 England unified with Scotland, which produced a rapid influx of epic bad-ass know-it-alls. Thereby compensating for the copyright induced atrophy of the English intellectual powers ...
139. It's not like anybody paid any attention to copyright in 1710. IP owners' problems with the internet are pretty trivial compared to the prevalence of pirate editions in the 18th century.
the fancy plastic surgeon in going to wait 3 months for this to knit, and then fix my nose to where it's back to its pre-mugging shape. which was kick-ass. I think I'm going to go for the boobs, what the fuck. just a generous C cup we're talking about here. I will have to bring my husband in to fondle the various implants, a project he seems quite willing to undertake, in the interests of science.
T
Shouldn't he be fondling already implanted ones, just to keep the scientific enterprise as accurate as possible?
I think I'm going to go for the boobs, what the fuck.
If I had a dollar for every time I'd said this to myself...
I have fondled already implanted ones and they felt . . . not so great, actually. Looked fantastic, though.
This might be an age or UK versus US thing, but I don't think I've ever known anyone who had implants.
I don't think I've known anyone with implants either.
Well, I wish I could say my experience was due to something sexier, but in NYC at least it is not uncommon for mommies in their early 40s to get their tits done and their tummies tucked once they are done with the babies.
I don't think I know anyone with implants -- not to know that they have them, anyway.
Isn't there still a fairly substantial risk of loss of sensation, though? Boy, does that seem like a lousy tradeoff. I suppose if I were more selfless about it, it wouldn't seem so bad.
Implants are strange. It seems as if they're designed more to be fun to fondle than to be particularly realistic-feeling. Like toy boobs you'd buy at a store, which, come to think of it, makes good sense.
I don't think I've known anyone with implants either.
I'd wager that just about everybody here has known somebody with implants, probably just not the giganto-hydraulic ones prevalent in porn. Breast cancer rates are sky-high, after all.
Well, yeah, that was what my 'not to know about it' meant to address. I don't know anyone who did the "Check it out, I just bought myself new boobs" bit.
re: 154
I don't think so, at least not among friends and acquaintances. I do have a friend who was planning a pre-emptive mastectomy* followed by porn-boobs** but I don't think -- and we aren't close enough friends for me to just ask -- she's actually had it done yet.
I suppose I do sort of know someone about whom there was malicious gossip to the effect that she'd had new boobs for her 18th birthday, but, tbh, I always dismissed that as just nasty gossip.
* her family has the gene, and the incidence of the disease in her family is very high.
** she was kidding that since she was getting them done she might as well get her money's worth.
-- and we aren't close enough friends for me to just ask --
Idle speculation can be more interesting, if not actually informative.
I'm planning a pre-emptive masectomy. But I'm not getting implants afterwards.
So I just got back from a mostly-family vacation in CZ. One day we went for kiddie rides, the equivalent of go-karts there are rickety slides for overgrown roller skates that you sit in loosely modelled on bobsleds. Hugely fun. Anyway, the rental chick was fortyish, deadeyed, blond, tanned, fit, lovely, and had the most rigid looking implants I have ever seen. I decided against asking her if she worked out as an entree to discussing their mechanical properties. Just as well, as a wasp stung my finger moments later.
Myriad's BRCA1 patent got substantially weakened last year. The cost of getting your copies of the relevant gene (which of course is not responsible for all breast cancers) sequenced should drop quickly as a consequence; sequencing had cost about $2500 in the US before the verdict, variable coverage by insurance companies.
Isn't there still a fairly substantial risk of loss of sensation, though?
Yes there is. I was guessing this wasn't an issue for alameida given her previous comments about the dear things nomming the color right off and permanent high beams.
I was guessing this wasn't an issue for alameida given her previous comments about the dear things nomming the color right off and permanent high beams.
I'm not following this at all (as someone with a similar breastfeeding history). You think she's lost sensation entirely from all the breastfeeding already? Because it doesn't work like that. Or, what?
161: Not breastfeeding per se, but I thought loss of color and permanent erection might go with loss of sensation. I'm happy to admit I don't know anything, though.
Can't speak for Al, but not true as a general rule.
Quick googling says the rate of permanent sensation loss following augmentation is 10-15%.
A good general rule is "Men shouldn't express opinions on some topics if women have any projectile-type things within reach."
164: If you took your time, it might work better.
Men shouldn't express opinions on some topics if women have any projectile-type things within reach they're going to perceive offers of relevant information as hostile.
Not that rob does.
I had heard of a preventive mastectomy but until hearing this story yesterday, I didn't realize that removing the ovaries sometimes goes, er, hand in hand, and that, moreover, ovarian cancer is apparently much harder to screen for. Or, at least, that was my take-away from one news story about science I'm not familiar with.
I know a number of women who have had them done - all for, uh, recreational purposes (as opposed to breast cancer) - and a good friend's mom worked for one of the best plastic surgeons in California. My verdict from casual observation is that they look nice but rarely feel great (and this is noticeable to the women but the guys they date don't seem to care). I haven't known anyone who's had the loss of sensation.
169: Yeah, I'll be getting a preventative oophorectomy too.
Ouch. Good luck with that, heebie.
Not for another 5-6 years, though.
I had a colleague who had, in a previous job, done quite a bit of implant defense work. Obviously a skewed sample, but she told me that what she found most striking in deposing plaintiffs was the seeming belief on the part of many, before surgery, that implants would solve their problems, and an uncomprehending (and blame-shifting) response when it seemed not to work out that way.
It sounds convenient, of course.
153: Implants are strange. It seems as if they're designed more to be fun to fondle
I suspect they're designed for the visual effect and their being fun to fondle -- which, yeah, but then so are natural breasts -- is mostly incidental.
implants would solve their problems, and an uncomprehending (and blame-shifting) response when it seemed not to work out that way
Also a common reaction among people receiving gender reassignment surgery.
Or so my spotty reading suggests, anyhow.
Certainly, a female to male reassignment surgery wouldn't be improved by implants.
To save money, you could probably just get the testicles they make for dogs.
If you *really* want to save money, you could even go for the glow.
erk, loss of sensation would...um...suck. they're perfectly sensitive now, they're just changed by long-term nursing. such that I am always flashing my high-beams to warn approaching chicks of the boob police. also the tissue is notably softer even though their shape hasn't changed much; before there was a sort of solid mass of fatty tissue but they are now quite soft and malleable. it's not like I think it'll solve all my problems, I just think it would be fun to be stacked. narnia never banned silicone implants and has actually got much better fake boob technology than the us and a. ditto thailand, etc. they will leave the nipples pointing out and down in a natural way rather than hiking them up into that tragic dartboard/target effect.
Well, Al, 10-15% chance is either pretty low or pretty high. You're a risk-taker though, right?
