Re: Shameless Self-Congratulation for a Minor Personal Accomplishment

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Pacing?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 8:45 PM
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Very nice pacing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 8:46 PM
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1: Sure, I tried to pace myself, using that same song as last time, but I also opened up and really turned on the gas a few times, in addition to trying for longer strides. Thanks for asking!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 8:46 PM
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I can hurl tennis rackets at small animals with deadly accuracy.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 8:47 PM
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I put up some pegboard in the kitchen this weekend. Took me 30 minutes and has already probably saved the household two hours of rooting around and going to other rooms for utensils.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 9:01 PM
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Go Stanley! I've been leveraging my ornery knee and desk job to accumulate doughiness at an impressive clip.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 9:02 PM
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Also I ran a mile in 5:40 last month. Going to switch to swimming next week and see if I can't snap my hips to a similarly speedy (now I don't mean swim a kilometer in that time) kilometer by Christmas, maybe.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 9:03 PM
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7: Holy shit that's fast! Nicely done, sir.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 9:05 PM
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I was really happy with it myself. Had been doing windsprints and interval-type training to complement the pacing runs. It works, but windsprints are several kinds of unpleasant.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 9:09 PM
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7,8: How's that 7:29 sounding now, dude?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 9:56 PM
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I have short legs, Coach.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 9:57 PM
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Doesn't mean I can't make you feel bad about it. I'm just playing the role of motivator here, Sporto. I studied those guys closely in Jr. High School. "Every man has a temple to build called his body."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 10:06 PM
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I felt bad about discovering the typo in the post title just now. That's about it. Your powers are useless against me, old man bad-at-live-blogging-the-meetup!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 10:40 PM
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7:29? That's at about the pace I was topping out at doing fartleks recently. I've got the :29 part down; I think if I tried to do it for the 7 part my heart might explode.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-21-10 11:32 PM
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||

Not an accomplishment of mine, but I'm glad that NPR fired Juan Williams. Minor, I know, but it still brought a smile to my face.

|>


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 4:26 AM
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Wow. I can do that pace for a minute on the treadmill doing intervals, but keeping it up for a mile would kill me.

This isn't my minor accomplishment, but I did reap the rewards: my mother, queen of Long Island's yard sales, scored a brand new looking Kenneth Cole leather jacket in my size for six bucks. That approaches her prior yard sale triumph, a sterling cream pitcher for a dollar.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:23 AM
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My only recent minor accomplishment: I officiated at the world championships for the sport I do, and was selected to judge the finals.*

My peering face in the bottom of these:
http://mondiauxdesavateparis2010.com/squelettes/photos/2010/600/sbf_d3c7974_bd.jpg
http://mondiauxdesavateparis2010.com/squelettes/photos/2010/600/sbf_d3c8367_bd.jpg

* they select a subset of the qualified officials, based on recommendations from the ring directors who've seen them working.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:40 AM
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That's not minor!

Alternatively: I bow before your major accomplishments.


Posted by: beamish | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:49 AM
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old man bad-at-live-blogging-the-meetup

Oh, snap. And you'll note that I actually did the *best* liveblogging of anyone there.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:08 AM
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I'd just like to note that John Williams has been fired by NCR.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:15 AM
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My exceedingly minor triumph occurred a couple of weeks ago. I was in a client meeting in a foreign country with a group of senior people. They were chatting in their foreign tongue, and the most senior of them -- a very important muckety-muck in the company -- made a small joke at my expense (a good-natured and not malicious one).

I had managed to acquire just enough knowledge of the local language that I thought I understood what he said. I leaned over to the person next to me and whispered "Did he just say [...]?"

She sat up straight and, beaming with pride (for she had been teaching me some phrases), announced "[Muckety-muck], you must be careful what you say from now on. [Knecht] can speak [local language] now!"


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:17 AM
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15: He's an idiot. I know people who've worked with him and they all think he's basically a dumbass. The fact that he gets nervous seeing someone dressed as a Muslim is just one example: Exactly zero terrorist attacks in the US have been carried out by people dressed in a manner that clearly identifies them as Muslims. Someone who is clearly Muslim is just about the last person you ought to expect mischief from.


Posted by: togolosh | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:25 AM
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ttaM, that is really cool.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:31 AM
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I know people who've worked with him and they all think he's basically a dumbass.

Ditto. The irony of his becoming a conservative hero is that back when he was more identifiably liberal, conservatives used to cite him as an example of the dangers of affirmative action in the newsroom.


Posted by: KR | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:32 AM
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FoXRepublicanPAC just signed him to an enhanced deal

.Williams - who just got a $2 million deal for three years with Fox News - said it is making him rethink his previous beliefs about the left wing.
"I've always thought the right wing were ones that were inflexible and intolerant and now I'm coming to realize that the orthodoxy at NPR, its representing the left," he said.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:39 AM
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NPR's replacing him with Larry Wilmore, right? Please make that be true.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:42 AM
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Let me be the first to suggest that I was a bit of a dick to Stanley in 10 and 12. I apologize. You go, boy!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:59 AM
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You bit off a dick? What?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:01 AM
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28: No big deal, he's got 29 left.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:11 AM
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15, 22: I know we all hate him for good reasons, but it wasn't smart of NPR to fire him for this offense.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:26 AM
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Congrats, nattar, Stanley, turgid, and KR. (Did I miss anyone?)

My marathon training has been sidelined due to a hip flexor issue. The race isnt until Nov 13th so I still might be able to do it. I ran a 10k in the spring which was my longest run at that point, and decided to try a marathon. Prob not a smart idea.

But, my minor accomplishment is that I weighed 197 pounds on Tues. I think that means that I am no longer in the Clydesdale division!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:48 AM
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Regarding Juan Williams, I am glad to see him gone.

However, like Jon Stewart said, fire him because he is bad, not just bc of this incident.

Where were all of these outraged people when Nasir or Helen Thomas or Rick Sanchez were fired?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:50 AM
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Josh Marshall gets it exactly right:

Bagging the lucrative new contract with Fox News is only part of it. It's also become a moment where Williams can come out of the closet as a full-on wingnut cartoon character. No more living a lie as a one-time journalist playing a fake liberal on Fox News. I'm feeling an "It Gets Better" video coming soon.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:51 AM
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I think that means that I am no longer in the Clydesdale division!

We'll miss you.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:54 AM
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NPR's replacing him with Larry Wilmore, right? Please make that be true.

Just what I was thinking.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:56 AM
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ttaM looks cute in his bow tie.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:57 AM
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Is it possible that J-Will is actually telling the truth in #25? It's possible, right?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:59 AM
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37: sure. As noted, he's an idiot.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:00 AM
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Possible that NPR hews a rigidly orthodox left wing line? No, that's not possible, unless there's some sense in which a rigidly orthodox left wing line is compatible with the right-of-center pap that comes out of my radio on a number of NPR shows.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:01 AM
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I just passed my 24 hour urine test! The 24 hour urine test requires an an extraordinary amount of purpose, dexterity and artful concealment. Obtaining a complete sample of course requires some careful aiming as well, so it's kind of like a biathlon. Basically you have to carry around at least one gallon jug, and by late afternoon you're probably into the second, wherever you go, on the subway, in the office, etc. And you have to keep the lid on tight. And you need a shelf in the office fridge and a bag that no one can see into.

By the next morning you have two jugs, quite heavy, to get to the doctor's office, sloshing around in the extra size briefcase on the subway. A spill anywhere along the way (including inside the doctor's office when someone else is responsible) and you have to start over. This has happened over the years.

So I successfully navigated the entire path! I passed, too! My wife's kidney is still doing its job properly, three years post-transplant!


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:34 AM
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And you need a shelf in the office fridge and a bag that no one can see into.

Just label it "APPLE JUICE". No one will be disgusted by the sight of a jug of apple juice in the fridge.

And if they try to drink some, serves them right.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:36 AM
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At first I was reading 40 as if unimaginative had successfully cheated his way into passing a drug test on 24 hours notice, and I was utterly perplexed at his explanation of the logistics involved.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:37 AM
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Wait a second. I had thought you were in CA, but now I know it's PA... was your kidney transplant done by the S/tar/zl Institute? And if so, any contact with a tall grey-haired woman surgeon?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:39 AM
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40: Congratulations, unimaginative!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:39 AM
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I too read it that way, and was thinking of the relevant bit in "Withnail & I".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:39 AM
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40: Hooray for unimaginative's urine and his wife's kidney! And their correspondingly low BUN and creatinine levels!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:41 AM
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40: Good news on the test. But, it wouldn't be an extra burden for me since I always save my own urine for tax purposes.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:44 AM
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Congratulations to all!

I'll deserve congratulations on Sunday for having driven a 15 person van full of undergraduates to a conference six hours away and not falling asleep on the way home in the middle of the night on Saturday.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:45 AM
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I remember this happening last pregnancy. Erm... I'm sure school rules absolutely forbid this, but if you're worried about staying awake in the moment, you would be driving around a vanful of licensed drivers, some of whom should be alert, despite their undergradness. (I'm assuming help from another real adult is absolutely unavailable.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:50 AM
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I would make some comment about how totally weird 48.2 seems to me but I think I've made it before.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:58 AM
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48: also for not rolling it.

49: see the first part of this comment. I have no idea if heebie's been trained to drive school busses, but she's probably better equipped than the undergrads for the task.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:59 AM
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43: Not a match--surgery was at jefferson Hospital in Philly.

42: Urine drug tests are a particular problem for dialysis patients, because many of them don't. When my father ran a dialysis patient support group many years ago (my condition is hereditary), he was called on to explain to someone's boss that the guy wasn't trying to hide anything, he really hadn't taken a piss in years and wouldn't be able to produce just to meet some corporate directive.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:03 AM
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wouldn't be able to produce just to meet some corporate directive

"That doesn't sound like a team player! Fire him!"


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:06 AM
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52: In any case, congratulations on your functioning kidney.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:15 AM
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To get liscensed to drive the van, I just had to watch a long video and take an online test, but I didn't have to actually take a driving test. So in a pinch, a competent, wide awake student could take over.

Alternatively, if I feel too sleepy and don't trust anyone, I can spring for 3 hotel rooms and cram 4 undergrads per room, and try to retroactively see if I can find some reimbursement, or just eat the cost.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:17 AM
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Congrats on everyone's running times! I despise running, so I'm very impressed.

I've been trying to reduce my time biking to work. The best way to do this is to stay ahead of the bus. This is a very good motivator because the bus driver is always driving into the bike lane to cut me off and frequently starts back up by driving into the space when I'm biking on the road (as a result of him blocking the bike lane). So avoiding the bus is actually a very legitimate concern.


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:18 AM
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To get liscensed to drive the van, I just had to watch a long video and take an online test, but I didn't have to actually take a driving test. So in a pinch, a competent, wide awake student could take over.

Well, or it's not a particularly good idea for either of you to be driving it while it's fully loaded. But oh well, nobody asked me to run the NHTSB.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:22 AM
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57: That's because I haven't become Secretary of Transportation yet.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:23 AM
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56.2: indeed, buses suck like that. There was an accident here recently where a bus forced a guy biking on to the trolley tracks, where he got stuck and run over. On the other hand, drafting behind a bus traveling at speed is good fun.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:24 AM
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Williams - who just got a $2 million deal for three years with Fox News - said it is making him rethink his previous beliefs about the left wing outraged over Chappaquiddick.

Dude catches on quick. I predict a marvelous future for him at Fox News.

fire him because he is bad, not just bc of this incident.

Can't we do both and call it comity?


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:28 AM
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Um, is it too prying of me to ask: dialysis patients don't pee?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 10:07 AM
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The dialysis machine pees for them.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 10:09 AM
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That is, it removes excess fluid and various waste products from the blood.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 10:10 AM
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55
if I feel too sleepy and don't trust anyone, I can spring for 3 hotel rooms and cram 4 undergrads per room, and try to retroactively see if I can find some reimbursement, or just eat the cost.

That sure looks to me like it would require a lot of trust.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 10:20 AM
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I COMMANDED TWO BATTALIONS OF TEA BAG PARTY ACTIVISTS AT FIRST AND SECOND MANASSAS!


Posted by: OPINIONATED STONEWALL | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 10:27 AM
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I just made French toast.


Posted by: text | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:13 AM
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I just voted.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:20 AM
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It's not even a Tuesday.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:30 AM
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I had a dream wherein I went to see Stanley's band and he took a victory lap around the stage to celebrate his new running time.

(Ok, the last part didn't actually happen, but I did have a dream about Stanley's band. I blame reading Unfogged directly before bed; I dream about all you characters.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:34 AM
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I got my Metro card to register after just two swipes rather than my usual embarrassing three.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:39 AM
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"Every man has a temple to build called his body."

If I told you "Your body is a temple," would you invite me to worship?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:42 AM
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I dream about all you characters.

I don't think I mentioned it here, but I recently had a dream that I was in the Netherlands with Knecht and McManus (who were like best friends) as part of an international liberation/resistance movement


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:45 AM
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Free the management consultants! They have nothing to lose but their access to business lounges.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:50 AM
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"We will not rest until every man has two dogs and every woman is wearing that special kind of blouse—oh, you know which kind we mean!"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:53 AM
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Dirndl?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:56 AM
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The real news in 72 is that Di skipped a period.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:04 PM
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Dirndl?

This kind.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:05 PM
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Today I was able to hold off internet slacking (specifically, commenting on unfogged) until 2:28 pm.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:08 PM
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Just read up a bit. Yay unimaginative! Yay everyone!


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:13 PM
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76:

Immaculately!


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:13 PM
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KR:

Were you in Ouagadougou?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:20 PM
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How in the world does one kick properly when swimming? You know the drill where you float facedown and kick your way across? I can't do it. I just make no forward progress.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:23 PM
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81: Is Ouagadougou also a band?


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:25 PM
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82

Ankle flexibility.

Also, try doing it underwater first.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:26 PM
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||

I've thought a lot about it, and I think my very favorite line is the one that refers to the plane's "aboriginal administrator", but there's an awful lot to love.

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:27 PM
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try doing it underwater first

Universally applicable advice, this.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:27 PM
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85:

didnt that croc walk away from the plane crash only to die from a machete blow?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:29 PM
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82: I was on a swim team as a kid and the kick for the crawl was something I never got. One day, when I was well grown-up and hadn't tried to swim a lap for a decade, it just clicked. The secret is that you need to move your legs like you are pedaling a bike.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:33 PM
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Immaculately!

Maybe not.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:33 PM
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85. Pretty fancy translating, Sifu. Engrish ?


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:34 PM
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89:

Dont doubt the fertility powers of the redhead.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:46 PM
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The even was again beatific asymmetric "despite the atrocious efforts of the pilot", said the report.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 12:47 PM
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91: I don't doubt the fertility powers. I do doubt the immaculateness.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 1:05 PM
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OK, I think that 7:23 is a pretty good time. I've always been slow. I have been doing mostly sprinting for a mile, but I'd guess that I'm at least 30 seconds over that time, still.

So, the gym just posted the below as this evening's workout. Note: I have trouble doing three unassisted pullups in a row. Even assisted will be tough.

1 mile run
100 pull ups
200 push ups
300 squats
1 mile run

I'm semi-seriously afraid that I will die tonight.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 1:50 PM
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s/b 7:29, but what's the difference.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 1:50 PM
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And "mile" s/b "while" in the place where it makes sense for mile to be while. If you see what I mean. Basically, fear is making me go insane.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 1:51 PM
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94: Do you need someone to call your cell phone at a certain time with a "legal emergency"?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 1:53 PM
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How do you break up those pushups/pullups/squats? I can imagine doing 100 pushups if I had a really long time to do them in and could take long breaks (pullups, on the other hand, while I can do three chinups, I can't do a single pullup. 100 sounds ridiculous regardless of rest breaks). But how does that work?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 1:56 PM
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Congratulations, unimaginative! Good kidneys are a truly good thing!!

My accomplishment isn't accomplished yet, but in 1.5 hours I'll be meeting the little one for the first time. I'm thrilled and terrified.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:05 PM
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I think you can divide them up how you want -- e.g., do 10 pullups, 20 pushups, 30 squats and then repeat. There's no set time limit, but the workout starts at 6:30 or so and the gym closes at 8, so more than 1 1/2 hours is impossible. Oh, and it's a competition for time, so everyone else will be trying to do these as quickly as possible.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:06 PM
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99: Yay! Good luck with the first meeting, and of course even if it goes badly, that doesn't mean anything (see the 'three year olds are assholes' theory).


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:08 PM
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100: Boy, that still sounds rough. And then you go run a mile.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:09 PM
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99: Exciting! Don't bring cake.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:11 PM
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Oh man, I'm genuinely excited for you, Thorn. One thing about sharing your stories with random strangers on the internet is that random strangers on the internet get invested in your stories!


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:14 PM
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I think you can divide them up how you want -- e.g., do 10 pullups, 20 pushups, 30 squats and then repeat.

Your gym may do it differently, and in fact I think many crossfit gyms encourage people to break the workouts up however they need to (or just flatly modify them) in order to get them done (and that's a bear of a workout, so all's fair), but standard crossfit protocol requires you not break them into shifts like this. I.e., You can break the 100 pullups into as many sets as you need, and take as much time as you need between sets, but you have to get through the 100 pullups before moving on to the 200 pushups, and then through those before moving on to the squats.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:15 PM
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I'm not entirely sure I could do 100 pullups in 90 minutes, even if I weren't doing anything else.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:17 PM
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99: So excited for you, Thorn!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:17 PM
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do 10 pullups, 20 pushups, 30 squats and then repeat

To clarify 105, CF writes this as "ten rounds of 10 pullups, 20 pushups, 30 squats"


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:18 PM
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106: I am entirely sure that I cannot and will not do 100 pullups in however much time remains in my life.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:19 PM
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Yeah, 108 is right, but I think in this case they may let us move things around. Or not! Who the hell knows!

Anyhow, if I die tonight, I just want people to keep saying "hone in on." Keep the faith!


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:26 PM
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If you think that's going to work...


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:27 PM
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I could wear 100 Pull-Ups® (not concurrently, of course), but they don't make the damn things in my size.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:28 PM
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112:

Sure they do.
I buy them for my daughter regularly. You are about her size. They are very absorbant.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:34 PM
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Yay, Thorn and partner! Yay, Mara!

Anyhow, if I die tonight, I just want people to keep saying "hone in on."

I'm relying on one of you legal types to use the Rule against Perpetuities to invalidate this wish.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 2:37 PM
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112: I could eat 50 pull-ups.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 3:17 PM
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115: Surely, you mean Push-Ups®.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 3:27 PM
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What's the difference in a pull-up and a chin-up?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 3:34 PM
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Supination vs. pronation.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 4:12 PM
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Fruit Roll-Ups®.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 4:23 PM
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From the link in 119:

The unique promotions, bright colors and intense fruit flavors of fruit-flavored snacks from General Mills make snacking fun.

Because, as everyone knows, the problem with snacking in general is that it's insufficiently fun.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 4:39 PM
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Good grief, I don't see how the routine in 94 is even possible unless you're in very seriously good shape already. You could hurt yourself trying to do all that in 1.5 hours! I doubt I'd be able to lift a pencil the next day. Well, frankly, I'd not be able to do the routine in the first place.

Not to make Halford anxious or anything.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 4:43 PM
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She s exquisite! I'm the luckiest girl in the world!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:02 PM
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Man, why do they need every drop of your urine over 24 hours? If they need a lot to test reliably for certain compounds, couldn't you just fill up some jugs at home over the course of a week?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:03 PM
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122: Yay!!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:05 PM
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123 to 122?

(And yah for 122)


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:05 PM
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"yah" s/b "yeah". I'm cheering, or trying to.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:06 PM
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122: Awww. Yay!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:07 PM
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That would have just been an emoticon, but I don't want to get banned.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:07 PM
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Wonderful, Thorn! Very happy for you!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:08 PM
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Huzzah!


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:13 PM
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Man, why do they need every drop of your urine over 24 hours?

It's not quantity they need. They want a full 24 hours' worth because your output contains more of this and less of that at different times of the day. Testing just a morning sample, or an afternoon or evening sample, doesn't cut it for certain purposes.

(I had to do a 24-hour urine collection a few months ago as well, and will again next month. Lugging the jug around, keeping the collection in the fridge, etc. is a trip, yep. I only got one jug and was concerned that it wouldn't be big enough ....)

Congratulations, unimaginative, at it coming out well!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:14 PM
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Kiddies! Hooray!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:20 PM
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Thorn, that's great!


Posted by: Mary Catherine | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:27 PM
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131.last: The test or the urine?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:28 PM
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Congrats, Þ.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:29 PM
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That's wonderful, Thorn!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:32 PM
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Teo made a nerdy alphabet joke. Yay!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:32 PM
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122: Maybe tied for luckiest with the kiddo, I think. Congrats!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:33 PM
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I only got one jug and was concerned that it wouldn't be big enough

How low your fruit hangs, milady.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:34 PM
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139: How low your fruit hangs, milady.

Said Clarence Thomas to the intern.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:35 PM
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137: Þanks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:36 PM
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My floor has a separate refrigerator just for urine, so I suppose that would be nice if the need ever arose and there was space in the pee fridge.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:37 PM
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139: Heh. I was far too distracted wondering why unimaginative received two receptacles, considering that I should demand two myself, imagining a fight with the clinic over this, etc.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:41 PM
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Hurray, Thorn!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:43 PM
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I've seen a three year old fill a potty chair to within an inch of the top in one sitting, so I could see why you'd worry about running out of jugs.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:49 PM
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145: Well, if you must know, I needed only 3/4 of the jug as it turned out, which surprised me a bit.

Oh the things we don't know about ourselves.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:55 PM
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Nothing says "I'll skip the coffee" quite like knowing you have to cart it home even if you finish it in the store.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 5:58 PM
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I know! There's something peculiarly, erm, exposed about knowing that the lab folks are going to know everything tomorrow: hm, this person drinks an awful lot of caffeine [I don't, myself], and whoa, what's with all this dilution, the person is chugging water all day long or something?

Of course they're making no such judgments, and are just going to test for whatever's been ordered. It's still slightly nerve-wracking; I understand unimaginative's sentiments completely. Or those of anyone who is routinely plugged into the medical testing mill. It's a sharp reality check.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:09 PM
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Sometimes I'll save my piss for a couple days in jugs just for the endorphin rush.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:29 PM
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Those tests don't sound like fun. I tend to drink a lot of water.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:31 PM
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If you have enough, I think you can tan leather with pee. Or maybe that bleach cloth.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:37 PM
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150: I normally do as well; for that test I tried not to. Only one jug, you know.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:47 PM
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TWO JUG ENTER. ONE JUG LEAVE.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 6:55 PM
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THE ONE JUGGALETTE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET

[Actual graffito seen in 2008 in Mpls.]


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:01 PM
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2 kidneys 1 jug


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:09 PM
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153: That's why you watch your salt intake.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:10 PM
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151: you can tan leather with it I think


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:13 PM
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155: Really? I wondered if that might be it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:14 PM
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Don't just stand there. Go skin a cow, piss in a barrel, and learn.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:15 PM
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Don't just stand there. Go skin a cow, piss in a barrel, and learn.

You were in FFA too, Moby?


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:24 PM
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No. If I'd have known about barrel peeing, I would have joined.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:27 PM
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You were one of those 4-H pussies, weren't you? Couldn't pee in a barrel if their life depended on it.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:32 PM
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Also there's an old saying that every animal has enough brains to preserve their own hide-one way or another.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 7:32 PM
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Yay Thorn!


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:09 PM
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Congratulation, Thorn! Please don't hold back on the exquisitely cute stories. What a beautiful moment, when a family is born.


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:13 PM
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To the thread.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:14 PM
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Oh, and congrats, Thorn! Any plans for a whimsical pseudonym for her, like Briar?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 8:49 PM
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166: I keep wanting to read that like, "To the battlements!" as if we are needed somewhere to wield our comments in the defense of all that we value.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:02 PM
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To the (original subject of the) thread, my most recent personal victory was seriously impressing a girl last night with my knowledge of the difference between polyandry and polygyny.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:11 PM
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Provide context please.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:14 PM
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It was at a bar.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:19 PM
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So you're thinking of becoming a brother-husband?


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:20 PM
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It's a little premature for that at this point, but we'll see what happens.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:22 PM
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167: Every Thorn has its Rose.

Also, of course, congratulations!


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 9:51 PM
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Consider this a free zone for boasting about your own recent personal victories, be they minor, life-altering, or otherwise.

I rode my bike home from work. This still feels like an accomplishment. Oy, especially today, because it was chilly and I was riding into the wind and it took for-damn-ever. Can I whine about a personal victory instead of boasting?


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 10:00 PM
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yay thorn! congrats! in other thread-related news I was a) confused by the fact that carrying around milk jugs (of water, to drink) is in fact a way to beat a drug test (you take b vitamins and stuff to color the pee), and b) thought of knecht while wearing his favorite short, in black. I realize this information is useless without photos, but...


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:06 PM
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My most recent personal accomplishments were mailing off a job application (which required only a cover letter and a cv), and making a positive impression on Ph—p Pet—t.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:27 PM
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I too mailed off a job application this day. Also, I collected my three delinquent paychecks.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:30 PM
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I baked a challah today, my first yeasted bread.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:32 PM
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122 -- Second luckiest, imo.

Not much to report here. Took the wife to and from colonoscopy appt, took dog for 90 min walk (during which she again demonstrated strong babe magnetism), sat around doing nearly nothing. Tomorrow, the height of the ridge on the southwestern horizon. Petty Mountain still doesn't sound like a very big deal. Hope we don't get shot.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:41 PM
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Petty Mountain still doesn't sound like a very big deal.

It wouldn't, though, would it.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-22-10 11:44 PM
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167: Online she's Mara, short for Maryam, just because that's long been a favorite name of mine. And you will be guaranteed some cute stories, starting with the day she comes here and no longer sleeps on a mattress in the floor while the other two (white, already adopted) kids have a princess bed and a racecar bed. Oh wait, I said no more ranting about the foster family's deficits until we have secure placement, right? I'll try to stick with that.

But now I'm going to work on dissassembling the Ikea bunk beds I put together this summer so the bottom one with the rail can be her bed. That'll be an accomplishment of sorts. And then this afternoon we see her again!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 2:45 AM
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This must feel a bit surreal.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 6:21 AM
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177: Do you need to make a negative impression in plaster or something first?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 6:29 AM
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182. Thorn, I'm just not saying anything until the kid and the documentation are all together under your roof, cos I'm totally superstitious like that, but when is go live scheduled for?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 6:29 AM
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Chris, I hear you and we're not making formal announcements until she's with us full-time. The plan is next weekend for that, maybe even Friday night since the foster family doesn't seem to want extra time with her.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 6:57 AM
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Wow, that's really quick. Amazing.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 7:06 AM
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182: Yay!


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 7:32 AM
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Well it isn't my accomplishment, but my toddler hasn't had any accidents yet today, and just pooped in the toilet unbidden (first time)!


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 7:55 AM
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Oh hey, I thought of one. I've had my current phone for 16 months without putting it through the wash.

177: Tightrope-walking demonstration?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 10:50 AM
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Tightrope-walking demonstration?

That Janelle Monáe song is pretty played-out at this point, isn't it?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 11:17 AM
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I had to Google it, so not for me, apparently.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 11:31 AM
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168: McManus left us, remember?


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 3:46 PM
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My "accomplishment" for the day:
http://www.filedropper.com/13songsforhalloween


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 4:20 PM
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Didn't get shot!

Didn't quite make the main summit -- we were on a south summit, about 3/4 mi away (and maybe 100 ft lower) when the southwestern sky looked a little dark and wet, and the wind picked up. So, turned around. Got soaked. Saw triple rainbow. Dog took off after deer, managed to shed her hunter's orange outfit, and probably lost 500 feet of elevation, before coming back. People walked maybe 13 miles all in, up and then down maybe 2,500 ft. Stopped for a shot of RoughStock at the Lumberjack Saloon on the way home.

Snow tonight, maybe.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 6:55 PM
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RoughStock

"The First Best Whiskey in the Last Best Place!"

I bet the penultimate best place's whiskey distillers are pretty pissed about that slogan.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 7:17 PM
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I went running today for the first time in almost two months. I mailed off a package of used clothes to my sister. These are my accomplishments.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 7:57 PM
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I'm almost caught up on Mad Men. Wait, that's not really an accomplishment, is it? (I'm like 15 minutes from the end of the last episode and finding it actively painful to watch.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:09 PM
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Wait, that's not really an accomplishment, is it?

Not until you actually catch up, no.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:18 PM
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I scored a red Members Only jacket at Goodwill today for $3. Hot shit!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:20 PM
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I read about half of the National Renewable Energy Laboratory's Solar Technologies Market Report today.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:23 PM
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I signed up for Netflix.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:25 PM
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I finally, with much nudging, got this particular piece of code that I downloaded a week ago to compile. Then I ran it, and it silently crashed everything. Also, I just realized that even if it did work it wouldn't quite do what I need, so I have to start over and write everything myself.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:26 PM
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202: Don't start watching Veronica Mars on Instant. Unless that's all you want to accomplish ever again.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:27 PM
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Okay, that scene with Joan and Peggy in Joan's office totally made the whole thing worthwhile.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:33 PM
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204: Nah, first up in my Instant queue is La Grande Illusion. I watched a fair chunk of VM when it was actually broadcast, and will probably go back to it at some point, but there's a lot of other stuff that comes before it.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:35 PM
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205: oh hell yeah.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:35 PM
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Oh wait, another accomplishment: I actually got my TV/TiVO/PS2 setup to display the highest resolution it can. So many different places you can set that...


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:36 PM
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||
¡Uribe! ¡Arriba!
|>


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:36 PM
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there's a lot of other stuff that comes before it

Understandable. Zardoz being on Instant is pretty damn tempting.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:37 PM
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210: Nah, Hudson Hawk.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:38 PM
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||
"When you're not worried about potential dangers, the world can be a far less threatening place."

Thanks for that pearl of wisdom, Travelers Insurance!
|>


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:40 PM
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198: instead of "watching Mad Med" you could just "watch Jessica Paré."


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:40 PM
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208: PS2?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:51 PM
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210: That is tempting.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:53 PM
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I didn't even have to use my A.K.


Posted by: Ice Cube | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:54 PM
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The most advanced gaming console in our house is a fully functional Sega Genesis. The game Road Rash is currently loaded and ready to play at any moment.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:54 PM
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214: I assume this gadget.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:54 PM
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214: Yeah, I'm old-skool like that. Up until this week I was watching TV on a 21-inch CRT, so upgrading the console didn't seem like a high priority.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:55 PM
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Ah I see, Sifu knew and was merely scoffing in his usual bullying manner.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 8:56 PM
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For a brief moment I thought it might have been this.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:00 PM
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21-inch CRT

I have a CRT HDTV. Weird.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:01 PM
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182: Oh wait, I said no more ranting about the foster family's deficits until we have secure placement, right? I'll try to stick with that.

I suggest you stick to that forever. It's not good for you and not good for the kid.

Meanwhile, I cleaned the cat's water fountain, diagnosed the internet outage, replaced the cable modem, and figured out yet another tiny and obscure icon on the new camera's dial and menu screen.

Really, I do not need a special setting for short white guys on pogo sticks at dusk near the ocean. Sometimes the Japanese can be seriously silly.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:02 PM
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I have a CRT HDTV

IYKWIM.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:08 PM
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||
God, this game is a nail-biter. Are you people not watching? One out left!
|>


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:13 PM
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225: Yeah, I just read all about that pitcher's beard. I figured it was a gimmick.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:14 PM
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Full count!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:17 PM
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WOOHOO FUCKIN A GIANTS WOO


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:19 PM
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And my neighbors let me know that I was watching the game on a 5-second delay!


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:19 PM
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Sorry Witt.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:20 PM
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Man, caught fucking looking, too, on a solid pitch. Ouch.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:20 PM
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228: What body part is the woo?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:23 PM
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232: I was referring to Beethoven's Werke ohne Opuszahl, of course. Truly he was a giant.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:27 PM
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How does one fuck an opus number?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:30 PM
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Miscatalog it.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:33 PM
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WOOHOO MISCATALOGING doesn't have the same ring to it, I admit.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:41 PM
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To a rogue musicologist it might.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 9:42 PM
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And it's too late at night for me to be deciphering German, since I clearly shouldn't have said "fuck an opus number" but "fuck a work without an opus number".


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 10:04 PM
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I chose to overlook that, essear, but I suppose others might not have.

Another minor personal accomplishment: brewing pals and I just divvied up what promises to be a very nice IPA into kegs. At last, beer on tap at home.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 10:55 PM
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I spent my day subciting for a journal. This is a particularly silly practice in legal academia that's fed by a lot of egos, and probably it reflects badly on me that I even got involved.

It was fun, though, to learn how to cite Israeli statutes (the official English publication is Laws of the State of Israel, abbreviated LSI, volumes divided by Jewish year), and even more fun to go down tot he basement of the international law library and retrieve some volumes. It struck me as a great place to have sex, if you ever needed someplace untrafficked on campus.


Posted by: Bave Dee | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 11:20 PM
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It struck me as a great place to have sex, if you ever needed someplace untrafficked on campus.

Noted.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 11:23 PM
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How things have changed.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 11:30 PM
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I'm mostly kidding. There isn't even a law library on this campus.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-23-10 11:43 PM
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I congratulate myself for making it safely home, with all little undergrads presumably tucked snugly in their beds.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 12:36 AM
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Seven hours after leaving the conference.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 12:37 AM
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It's so good to be home. Goodnight.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 12:38 AM
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I am halfway through the weeks' grading.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 1:35 AM
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243: Decent train service from where you are to Boston in a pinch though, right?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 2:52 AM
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I didn't shit my pants for about 20 years now.


Posted by: Earnest O'Nest | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 3:48 AM
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Nah, first up in my Instant queue is La Grande Illusion.

I think that is one of the movies that has helped define my category of "things that sit on my queue to make me feel like a more well-rounded person in potentiality, but are always pushed down the queue in favor of something a little less taxing." The Treasure of the Sierra Madre sat on the ol' queue for years before I admitted to myself that I had no desire to watch it.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:38 AM
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250:Treasure is entertaining, if somewhat machismo. Huston is terrific. A double feature with Dodsworth would be neat. I don't like Grand Illusion it meanders for me. Rules OTOH, is great fun, until it isn't.

Thesis:Extending the concept and including the corporation, free market, and the nation/state as patriarchy, Ozu is always always about a failed patriarchy and the sacrificed (not! sacrificing) woman and abandoned/abused children. This is not at all dependent on biography, although doesn't matter the origin of the metonym.

(Ozu:Only women's anger can be justified.)

Question:Does this extend patriarchy too far, since for a moment so much modernism seems about failed patriarchies and the absent father? Joyce, Buddenbrooks, Gide, Rhys.

Question:If a common modernist metaphor, has it, why has it, become so much less common in our post-modernist age of 3rd wave supposed feminism? Is this based on agency and liberation, or based on delusion? Sexualized, particularized, violent, materialized and vitiated even trivialized as metaphor. The difference between the arranged forced marriage and cup size/10% pay difference.

Bordwell on Ozu is available at Umich for online reading, apparently with permission from before a recent reprinting. Probably a classic.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:37 AM
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I adore La Grande Illusion -- it isn't taxing at all! And I am . . . kind of a wimp about taxing movies. CA rents (or whatever we call it with Netflix these days) a constant stream of what I call "Heilige, Heilige, Heilige" films (based on the opening -- and closing! -- lines of Bergman's Winter Light): dire, depressing, devastating, incitements to suicide. No, honey -- a hungover Saturday is *not* the time I want to watch the 5-hour Fanny and Alexander.

Bob -- Have you seen any Catherine Breillat? Romance, Fat Girl, and Anatomie de l'enfer are all worth watching.

Also, everyone in the world should watch Les enfants du paradis, even though I have not been the same since I learned that Arletty is wearing a turban throughout the second half of the film because her head had been shaved as a "collabo horizontale."


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:53 AM
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Go back to bed, oud. CA and I are going to hang out and watch a double feature of Nostalgia and The Sacrifice, and maybe listen to some Gesualdo.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 10:01 AM
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Decent train service from where you are to Boston in a pinch though, right?

Decent by American standards, sure, but expensive.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 11:33 AM
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You'd put a price on love?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 11:34 AM
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This is America. We put prices on everything.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 12:04 PM
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I didn't shit my pants for about 20 years now to be dismissed out of hand as a crank!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 12:15 PM
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253: Don't even joke. Also, are you in the tenor range? CA is more like a bass-baritone. You guys may as well sing a mass while you're at it.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 12:19 PM
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Bass-baritone myself. That's okay, we can rock some plainchant.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 12:45 PM
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Speaking of singing a mass, let me heartily disrecommend the 2009 movie called Pope Joan, which is basically a ham-handed Mary Sue. (However! The main character is very pretty!)


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 1:00 PM
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259 made me smile.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 1:05 PM
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||

Motherfucking Bears.

|>


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 1:41 PM
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260 -- Have you seen North Face?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 1:46 PM
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The Wind That Shakes The Barley has totally ruined Michael Collins for me. Oh well.

Also, the sequence in the denouement of Almost Famous, where Billy Crudup's character goes to visit the Cameron Crowe character? Fucking brilliantly shot. In a very subtle and unassuming way, but it captures the narrative of disorientation perfectly.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 1:54 PM
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264:Besides an Ozu, I watched Brick for the nth time last night. This time, having learned a little, I noticed things like jump cuts and other displacing effects.

252:Seen Fat Girl, Last Mistress, and Sex is Comedy. SiC is pretty much a commentary on FG, and I found it devastating. FG makes a point about film voyeurism, but our voyeurism is still mediated by the lead (and darkness etc). SiC puts us in the director's chair, one step closer to responsibility.

I think Breillat is saying in SiC something like either a filmed sex (simulated or not) scene is erotic, consensual, exhibitionistic etc on the part of the actors...i.e. pornography...or it is some kind of rape or simulated rape.

I was aware that FG was, in possibly the more important way, about actors and film. Breillat says she isn't making pornography. Don't imagine there are many safe and tame alternatives.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 2:27 PM
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I painted the dining room red today, not in the sense of actually having painted it, but in the sense of having paid someone to do it. But they also serve who stand and create jobs, right?


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 5:04 PM
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^only


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 5:05 PM
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I finally finished my sister's Cthulu-themed birthday card. It's totally awesome! and only two months late...


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 5:19 PM
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My only accomplishments in the last few days have been to let myself be bullied and/or guilt-tripped into agreeing to do extra work or go places that I don't want to go. Sigh.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 5:43 PM
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Sorry, essear. My bad.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 5:46 PM
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Listen, essear, yeah. Mm, huh. I know it's getting kind of late on a Sunday, but I was talking with a bunch of the other front-page posters, and, well, yeah, here's the thing: we're gonna need some extra commenting out of you tonight. I mean, if it's not too much trouble. We'd hate to put you out or anything.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 5:51 PM
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I almost let myself get talked into an unwanted ski trip to Aspen, but I had to draw the line somewhere. Commenting I can probably manage, though.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 5:59 PM
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How much extra work do you have to do to get out of a ski trip to Aspen?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 6:08 PM
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I'll be really happy when I achieve the incredibly momentous achievement of sleeping through the fucking night. I've suddenly acquired - according to people in the know - a menopausal woman's sleeping habits.

(Also, I cooked a very yummy and well-received meal last night. That made me happy.)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 6:09 PM
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I painted the dining room red today

A more solitary party than painting the town red.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 6:36 PM
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I have been vocally humorless on Facebook, because I'm a feminist. That counts as an accomplishment, right?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:38 PM
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I threw a birthday party attended by 10 two-year-olds with remarkably little stress, and the baby-sat three-month-old twins. Although I'm now sitting in the ER waiting to be seen for, essentially, the smallest possible health complaint, so the day isn't a total win.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:52 PM
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A splinter?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:55 PM
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No, a hangnail?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:55 PM
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An inflamed mitochondrion?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:55 PM
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Split ends?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:56 PM
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A wayward farandolae?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:56 PM
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I like to imagine the typo "the" in 277 is best corrected as "they"; emdash arranged a party game where the ten two-year-olds babysat the two three-month-olds.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:56 PM
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278 et seq.: glumness.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:58 PM
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Were not being systematic. Is it bigger than a breadbox?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:58 PM
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How can a typo be bigger than a breadbox?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:58 PM
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My bread is very small. ... laydeez


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 7:59 PM
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286: breadboxz


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:01 PM
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That sounds crumby.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:01 PM
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All good guesses! I'm also inexplicably in the largest exam room on the floor, so while I sit here pointlessly people keep coming in and out for medical supplies.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:02 PM
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I'm trying to reconcile "ER" with "smallest possible health complaint". So it's an emergency, but a very tiny one. Maybe he's been infected by a single, tiny ebola virus, and has to root it out before it multiplies.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:02 PM
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A stray eyelash in a basketball court with two pairs of twins, none of which belong to you?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:03 PM
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Did emdash inhale nanobots?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:03 PM
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so while I sit here pointlessly

Sympathies. Although losing your point is a small complaint, it can be painful.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:03 PM
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Ohhh quark trouble.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:04 PM
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Like in Innerspace? Emdash, did you inhale mini Martin Short and now you're suffering from terminal amazement at how unfunny he is?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:05 PM
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Although losing your point is a small complaint, it can be painful.

Are we talking about circumcisions again?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:06 PM
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I'm feeling mildly uncomfortable about my humorlessness, especially after the recipient didn't really back down, but it's not so okay to call a public intellectual a "milf", is it? I mean, all in good fun, whatevs. But... erm.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:07 PM
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Milf is not okay, and I find it particularly unfunny, so good job.

The other day I heard that 90s song with the line "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow! Everybody needs a bosom!" and boy did I get extra humorless over that stupid line. For some reason it irritates me on many many levels.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:11 PM
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299: maybe emdash misheard it as "boson".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:13 PM
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Because of the nanobots in his ear-holes?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:15 PM
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Did someone say "earhole"?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:17 PM
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Why did the nanobot cross the road?

Because it was doing some incredibly complex task that no one has thought of yet, but which was way awesome and will like totally change everything forever.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:19 PM
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It wasn't a road. It was a canal. An ear canal.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:21 PM
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but it's not so okay to call a public intellectual a "milf", is it?

So it's good enough for Emerson but not good enough for you, is what you're saying?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:21 PM
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Granted, he used the word primarily to refer to attractive heads of state d'un certain age, IIRC, but that's just splitting hairs.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:23 PM
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MILF is stupid, but I don't think it's inherently any more objectionable than any other reductive comment about appearance. It depends on context; who was the lucky lady?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:23 PM
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it's inherently any more objectionable than any other reductive comment about appearance.

It depends what you have in mind, but it grates on me way out of scale with the casual manner in which it's tossed around.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:25 PM
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but that's just splitting hairs.

To the ER!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:25 PM
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308: what about HALF, or NERF?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:27 PM
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Tossing around nerf balls is less grating than tossing around the word MILF.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:29 PM
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Alternatively, I don't know who we're dying to fuck when we use the words HALF and NERF.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:30 PM
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I'm guessing "How i'd love to fuck ALF, the lovable alien from outer space, and NERmal, the Feline from garfield"?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:32 PM
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Sore throat, basically. Although I've learned a new word: hemoptysis. Finally home, with a referral to a ENT. Joy!


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:32 PM
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Cheese graters vs. the word MILF: the tossing around of which is more grating?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:33 PM
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314: I bet that was some next-level Exorcist-style hemo-expectoration.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:34 PM
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I'd rank from worst to least worst:
William Saletan
The word MILF
Tossing cheese graters
NPR


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:35 PM
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314: Ah. I had a somewhat similar ER trip recently.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:35 PM
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The real answer to 291 is the unavailability of after-hours care in anything other than an emergency department setting.


Posted by: emdash | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:37 PM
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307: It was a case of someone I knew in high school talking about someone I know (albeit not well) but he doesn't, about whom a similar question has come up here before. (And the fact that I can find this with a search engine worries me, despite the misspelled name.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:39 PM
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And on a questionably related note, this blog post irks me for a number of reasons.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:42 PM
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Oops. This one.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:42 PM
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317: Ranking may vary if at a nudist colony.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:43 PM
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322: not least the misplaced apostrophes.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:45 PM
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Yes, 322 is a stupid blog post.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 8:50 PM
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299 - But it's a song about filmi music (the "Asha" of the title is Asha Bhosle) and escapism. I don't think it's particularly sexed, even.


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 9:16 PM
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Who's getting all pissy about the Moro Islamic Liberation Front?


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 9:20 PM
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I don't think it's particularly sexed, even.

Yeah, it's more "everyone needs to regress sometimes."


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 9:21 PM
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"Milf" is dreadful, though, I can certainly agree.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 9:22 PM
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Thinking about this, and about 'middle age' in a recent Edge post, I wonder just what exactly MILF signifies when used by someone over 15. I suppose that if I regard anyone younger than .5x+7 as a kid, maybe then someone who is approx 2(.5x-7) is at about MILF age? Or is it simply x+25? Or y>25?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 9:39 PM
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The other day I heard that 90s song with the line "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow! Everybody needs a bosom!" and boy did I get extra humorless over that stupid line.

Who on your breast pillows his head now,
Jubilant to have won
The heart beneath on fire for him alone,

At dawn will hear you, plagued by nightmare,
Mumble and weep
About some blue jewel you were sworn to keep.

Wake, blink, laugh out in reassurance,
Yet your tears will say:
"It was not mine to lose or give away."

"For love it shone - never for the madness
Of a strange bed -
Light on my finger, fortune in my head."

Roused by your naked grief and beauty,
For lust he will burn:
"Turn to me, sweetheart! Why do you not turn?"


Posted by: Robert Graves | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 9:46 PM
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what exactly MILF signifies when used by someone over 15

Has a kid.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 9:49 PM
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I think there's another element too.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 10:01 PM
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According to 322 I guess I have a "feminine intelligence" (intuitive, prefer working on multiple problems at once, prefer collaboration). If only I had known this before, it would have been much easier to write a diversity statement.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 10-24-10 11:00 PM
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333: is divorced?


Posted by: Earnest O'Nest | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 2:06 AM
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332: Moro Islands Liberation Front?

Finally home, with a referral to a ENT.

"Drink some of this draught, young hobbit, and call me in a couple of years if it hasn't cleared up."


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 2:11 AM
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336.1: Almost.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 3:43 AM
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OT: Anyone going to the Jon Stewart rally in DC this weekend?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 4:54 AM
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I don't think it's particularly sexed, even.

Yeah, it's more "everyone needs to regress sometimes."

No, I don't think it's sexual, either. I get that it's about comfort.

It irritates me because I assume they're talking about getting the mommy-comfort from your heterosexual partner (but hey, maybe not), which means that "everybody" is "male people". And female people get to be bosoms. Win-win.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 5:45 AM
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I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT ONCE UPON A TIME WE MANLY MEN HAD THE CORNER ON THE BOSOM BUSINESS


Posted by: OPINIONATED ABRAHAM | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 6:02 AM
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340: MAYYYBE.


Posted by: OPINIONATED ABRAHAM LINCOLN | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 6:05 AM
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I assume they're talking about getting the mommy-comfort from your heterosexual partner

I think they're talking about Bollywood movies.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 6:19 AM
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http://www.kuro5hin.org/story/2003/8/7/12518/77483


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 6:40 AM
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I didn't know the backstory of the song; just assumed they were being catchy. I don't know that I'm conceding that there's not an everybody=male bent to it still, though.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:05 AM
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Maybe it's an everybody=child bent. That is, the bosom is not the female lover but perhaps the mother. Still sexist about reducing the woman to a bosom, but more inclusive in terms of everybody.


Posted by: A White Bear | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:18 AM
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bosom is not the female lover but perhaps the mother

Definitely. Everybody needs [a childhood experience they can retreat to for comfort], mine's [the music of this soundtrack singer from my parents' generation who I grew up listening to on 45 rpm records].


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:25 AM
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FINE.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:28 AM
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You can rest your head on my man-bosom if it would make you feel better.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:29 AM
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Sounds hairy.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:30 AM
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Bosom used to be less of a gendered term. I remember the "bosom of Abraham" from the Bible and nobody was saying he had moobs.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:31 AM
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You try living to 175, Moby, and see what gravity does to your perkies.


Posted by: Abraham | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:34 AM
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I will try living to 175. I can haz LipItor?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 7:39 AM
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Back to the topic!

I called my department to start the officially-getting-the-MA process started, went grocery shopping with my roommates, and went to a literature lecture because it sounded like it would be fun. (And it was--it was on 'contamination,' and the prof played songs by The Pogues, some Irish band, and some northern Italian band that does Irishy-folk music, and he quoted from China Miéville.)

Woo! Tomorrow, I shall go to the gym, and mail things.


Posted by: x. trapnel | Link to this comment | 10-25-10 2:36 PM
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Three miles in 26:52 this morning. Not fast by any objective standard, but fast for me.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-29-10 8:34 AM
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Woo! Hook 'em, LB!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 10-29-10 8:50 AM
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Running after a spring and summer of biking is nice. The biking was never hard exercise -- I kind of loafed along for an hour each way -- but the sheer volume of it did a lot for my fitness level.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 10-29-10 8:53 AM
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