Re: An incomplete list of trends that can stop already:

1

You would not do well in my line of work.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 12- 8-10 11:23 PM
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2

Yeah, those trendy Percy Shelley fans.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 8-10 11:29 PM
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3

I lament the passing of the pwnership society in favor of pwnage as a service.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12- 8-10 11:35 PM
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4

It took me a while to figure out who essear meant. Who says just "Percy Shelley"? Bysshe, please.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12- 8-10 11:36 PM
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5

I still hear "grid computing" a lot more often than I hear anything about clouds, but what do those CERN people know about the internet, anyway?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 8-10 11:37 PM
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In philosophy we're still smarting from and talking about that scurrilous piece of work Aristophanes perpetrated.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12- 8-10 11:39 PM
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7

I was about to write "scurrilous s/b cuckoo", but then I thought "oh shit! this comment is for the birds."


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 8-10 11:42 PM
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8

The future of hobo consulting is in THE CLOUD.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 12- 8-10 11:50 PM
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9

The Cloud Appreciation Society. Because we're all about being Fair and Balanced.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 2:13 AM
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10

||


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD7niFFEzWo

One for Apo.

I didn't know this existed, the Chi-Lites, covering Marvin Gaye. Epic.

>


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 4:13 AM
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11

Sweeeeet.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 5:33 AM
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3 is awesome. I recently explained to my coworkers the concept of software as a service rather than something you download, only to learn (from my friend who does enterprise software sales) that people in the enterprise software world actually honest-to-god still say "the cloud". My mom says "the cloud". She has no idea what it means.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 5:43 AM
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That Microsoft ad campaign would be much better if, right after the setup, when the one person said "TO THE CLOUD!" somebody offscreen slapped them right in the face.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 5:48 AM
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that people in the enterprise software world actually honest-to-god still say "the cloud"

Yes, Yes they do and it hurts. I think mostly it is because trying to explain IaaS,PaaS, and SaaS gets old fast and most people just don't care so you just say it's "In the Cloud" and they are happy because they've heard of that.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 5:55 AM
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I can think of very few ad campaigns that would not benefit from something similar. Even those pharmaceutical ads with the disembodied voice listing a billion symptoms. It wouldn't have to be pictured, just around symptom 322,481 you'd hear what sounded like someone being slapped and the soothing voice would be all "ow! Hey, I wasn't done! Violent hemmorhaging from the ears, permanent loss of several senses, or uncontrollable sexual urges, you should consult with OW!"


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 5:59 AM
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14: wuh, gah.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:03 AM
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17

I guess I would need to watch more TV or read more tech and/or business news to get why the cloud is annoying, then?


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:07 AM
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The Wikipedia article on Cloud computing is a pretty hilarious adventure.

Private cloud and internal cloud have been described as neologisms, however the concepts themselves pre-date the term cloud by 40 years. Even within modern utility industries, hybrid models still exist despite the formation of reasonably well-functioning markets and the ability to combine multiple providers.

Take that, nattering nabobs of neology.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:07 AM
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17: you only need wait until a basically tech-phobic friend or acquantaince gets Windows 7 or MobileMe and starts babbling about how now their passwords are all in the cloud.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:08 AM
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20

I'm actually a huge fan of The Cloud. Beats the hell out of maintaining your own physical servers.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:09 AM
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20: the concept, when well-defined, is perfectly fine. It's the overuse of the ill-defined concept as a buzzword that grates (in the cloud).

Look, we're cloudsourcing griping!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:10 AM
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Of course, I'm in enterprise computing, so I'm uncool like that...


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:10 AM
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19
starts babbling about how now their passwords are all in the cloud.

This sounds like a very bad system.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:11 AM
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I had a conversation about the cloud recently. My friend said, "What is the cloud?" And I said, "I dunno." And she said, "Huh. Hey look! Five dollars!"


Posted by: mcmc | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:34 AM
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25

If I get a cloud, will it be like the Mlife I got from AT+T back in 2002 or 2003?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:38 AM
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26

Is an Mlife sort of like a Milf? If thats the case then no, the cloud is not like that.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:43 AM
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27

It's the overuse of the ill-defined concept as a buzzword that grates

If it wasn't "cloud", it'd be something else. There was a time when management couldn't shut up about "object-oriented solutions," yet that worked out just fine.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:50 AM
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27: it's not the end of civilization or anything. It's just stupid.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:52 AM
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29

Object oriented solutions are also great. But they are a programming concept, and should mean fuck-all to management.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:53 AM
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30

Don't you remember all the mLife commercials? [sorry, I got the stupid spelling wrong/right] Here's the response from the public.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:53 AM
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31

I'm still stuck on the information superhighway.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:57 AM
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32

THE MILFCLOUD is pretty awesome, to be honest.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:02 AM
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33

I'm the one at work who uses the phrase THE CLOUD. Because we have a perennial debate about which online homework system to adopt, and somehow our elder faculty members were wooed by the ad rep for a TERRIBLE system that requires each student to download a bunch of software onto their computer.

The "advantage" is that if the student doesn't have internet access, they can still work on the homework, and then upload their answers when they go somewhere with internet. Of course, who the hell has a computer but no internet, and why can't this slim portion of students use the computer lab?

My argument is that we'll be stuck trouble-shooting if the students have to put stuff on their actual computer. The elders went back to the ad rep who reassured them that this was not the case.

Anyway, I use the phrase "in the cloud" a lot to make the alternative online homework systems sound fancy and modern.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:03 AM
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34

32: "Oooh! Look! That one's shaped like a cougar!"


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:04 AM
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35

Per usual, pornography drives technology.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:06 AM
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36

Don't you remember all the mLife commercials?

There's a hilarious commercial airing right now for UTI.EDU which keeps talking about UTI PROFESSORS and your UTI ACADEMIC CAREER and your UTI BASED PROFESSION and UTI UTI UTI, and without fail it cracks me up. I think it's supposed to stand for Universal Technical Institute, where you can learn all about cars and mechanics. All these bearded grubby He-Men are becoming certified by UTIs, is all I know.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:06 AM
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37

I've halfheartedly attempted to expunge "cloud" from our discourse here (at some point in the past I took the same stance with "thin client"). "Private cloud" is the one that really irks me, though.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:14 AM
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38

Hey, you, get off of my cloud.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:16 AM
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39

Anyway, I use the phrase "in the cloud" a lot to make the alternative online homework systems sound fancy and modern.
This is the wrong tactic to use with the elderly, as it introduces worries about the ephemeral nature of information not written on paper, and reminds them of their own mortality.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:19 AM
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40

Hey, you, get off of my MILF.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:19 AM
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41

Hey, you got your peanut-butter in my MILF. No, you got your MILF in my peanut-butter. Hey.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:20 AM
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42

A private cloud is like the PASSING LANE on the information superhighway! Leave all the other web surfers in your dust!


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:20 AM
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43

I have a private cloud in my pants.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:24 AM
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44

I'm trying to introduce the concept of Clod computing, where instead of downloading software and running it off of your own computer you throw lumps of dirt at each other.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:43 AM
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45

I'm still waiting for the dawning of the era of C.H.U.D. computing.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:45 AM
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46

The future of hobo consulting is in THE CLOUD. Wisconsin.

starts babbling about how now their passwords are all in the cloud. Wisconsin.

I'm actually a huge fan of The Cloud. Wisconsin. Beats the hell out of maintaining your own physical servers.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:47 AM
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47

46: Dude, St. Cloud is in Minnesota.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:51 AM
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48

I'm ashamed to admit this, but I've never really known how to pronounce "Bysshe."


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:53 AM
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49

I've always assumed, on no basis at all, that it's the first syllable of Bishop.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:56 AM
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50

I'm sick of the cloud as well.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 7:57 AM
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51

I've always assumed that it had a long I. My attempts to say the poet's full name have usually involved some uncharacteristic mumbling.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:06 AM
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52

I've always assumed that it had a long I. My attempts to say the poet's full name have usually involved some uncharacteristic mumbling.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:06 AM
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53

Poo.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:06 AM
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54

Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe.


Posted by: Scotsman | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:07 AM
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55

54 is the first funny pun here in months. Except for my "To Predate a Catcher" jape.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:09 AM
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56

I guess I'll have to keep trying more and more puns until I get one Ned likes.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:19 AM
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57

||

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-11566509

>


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:21 AM
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58

Not rue Scotsman such punnery made.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:30 AM
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59

One interesting point about the term "cloud computing" is that Dell tried to get a trademark on the term even though it had been around for years.

The Patent and Trademark Office (PTO) issued a notice of allowance (NOA) and then realized how badly they messed up, so they withdrew the NOA a few weeks later. I don't do a ton of trademark work, but this is the only instance I've heard of where they withdrew an allowance. I can only imagine the conversation at the PTO, "You granted Dell a trademark to prevent all other companies from referring to their cloud computing services?!!!"


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:34 AM
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60

Of course, who the hell has a computer but no internet, and why can't this slim portion of students use the computer lab?

Is it really that tiny a minority? The internets say that about a fifth of 18-29 year olds don't have broadband.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:34 AM
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61

re: 60

But does that 5th also tend have no computer? Or just smartphone/XBox type kit?


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:37 AM
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60: Isn't that the same percentage of 18-29 year olds that are in prison?

But maybe some prisoners have broadband. I'm not sure.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:42 AM
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63

62.last: Research opportunity!


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:47 AM
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64

Shelly: "Bish" as in bishop or "Beesh" as in leash say the authorities. I guess nobody really knows which any more.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 8:57 AM
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65

64: Why do we bother with his middle name, anyway? He wasn't a serial killer or assassin, was he?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:03 AM
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66

60
Is it really that tiny a minority? The internets say that about a fifth of 18-29 year olds don't have broadband.

Internet != broadband. Modems and wi-fi and stuff may be painful for gaming with but they're probably sufficient for submitting homework. So how many of that fifth have some kind of Internet connection that doesn't rise to the level of broadband?

Also, like 61 and 62 allude to, how many of that fifth are in college?


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:03 AM
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67

how many of that fifth are in college?

And how many in college have a fifth in them right now? Binge drinking severely limits homework-submitting abilities.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:05 AM
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68

And how many of that fifth have a computer? And it would have to be a laptop, because the premise of the "advantage" is that they can work on their homework offline, and then easily upload it when they do come into internet service.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:11 AM
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69

I know a couple young lawyers who are using an ipad and The Cloud as their primary computing vehicles.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:13 AM
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69: Do they hook up a physical keyboard to the iPad? That's the biggest problem for me. I can only stand to use a virtual keyboard for quick emails.


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:16 AM
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71

69: Does mean they need to request an adjournment if its a clear day?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:17 AM
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72

64. Who knows. He was named Bysshe after his grandfather who was, incidentally, an American from New Jersey. A hundred years earlier it was fairly rare to have two given names, so if they did they commonly got known by both. But I would have thought that was a bit passe by Shelley's time.

Fun fact for revolutionaries and anarchists: Bysshe is apparently originally an alternate spelling of Bush.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:19 AM
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73

He was named Bysshe after his grandfather who was, incidentally, an American from New Jersey.

What exit?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:33 AM
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74

because the premise of the "advantage" is that they can work on their homework offline, and then easily upload it when they do come into internet service.

You could try to convince them that git would offer the same advantage.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:51 AM
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I didn't know this existed, the Chi-Lites, covering Marvin Gaye. Epic.

Awesome. As a token of my appreciation, I give you The Temptations covering Fiddler on the Roof.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:52 AM
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76

Also, I don't know nothin about no cloud, but MobileMe can go suck it.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 9:54 AM
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77

72: Grandpa seems to have been a pretty interesting character. Wikipedia says he was born in Newark (returned to England as a boy, however) and he built Castle Goring in Sussex. He apparently had an illegitimate child born 8 days after Percy Bysshe who was also named Bysshe (his 4th illegitimate child with his mistress Nell following 10 legitimate children). He then wrote his son (Percy's father), "I'll Back Nell's Stoned Colt Against F.P. for £1,000" (F.P.=Filed Place where Percy was born).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 10:10 AM
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78

I figured there would be more attempts to make for a less-incomplete list than the OP supplied.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:11 AM
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79

||
Hey, eject that videotape! No more masturbating to John Leslie.
|>


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:14 AM
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80

Then we've failed you, yet somehow we will go on.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:16 AM
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81

Moby will not be stopped from masturbating to John Leslie.


Posted by: CJB | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:17 AM
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82

We don't want to risk listing everything and making the title of the post into a lie.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:23 AM
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83

You have to think that Leslie would want it that way, I guess.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:23 AM
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84

Hey, that makes two guys named Leslie (well, one's a surname) in two weeks. WEIRD.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:26 AM
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85

Er, a "stage" surname.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:26 AM
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86

Nom de poon, perhaps?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 11:27 AM
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87

Way to disappoint Ned so quickly.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 12:17 PM
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88

The cloud is a series of tubes. It rains when the tubes leak.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 1:15 PM
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89

77. Speaking of ancestral English poets, I am related to John Keats through his brother George, who had emigrated to America. No five dollars or anything else left in the will to me.


Posted by: Tasseled Loafered Leech | Link to this comment | 12- 9-10 6:33 PM
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90

An incomplete list of my reactions to this post:

Hell yeah
Sing it, sister.

I'm all in favor of having people out there on the internet do stuff for you, but describing every such thing as cloud drives me batty.

And in any case, things in clouds are: a) damp and b) liable to come crashing down. Neither of which are what I look for in computer services.

and here endeth my infinitesimal variation on the rant.


Posted by: Iain | Link to this comment | 12-10-10 1:32 AM
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91

This article might help you to flesh our your list further, Stanley.


Posted by: Merganser | Link to this comment | 12-10-10 7:58 PM
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92

I am skeptical of the cloud because it will use high quality AI algorhythms to realize i am uploading gazillions of pirated shit and send me a bill for one million dollars.


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 12-10-10 10:02 PM
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