Re: Tattoo You

1

I like how he laughs a bit at his joke. Also, the use of the word "swain".

I forgot: Becks!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-20-10 10:15 PM
horizontal rule
2

Via heebie.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-20-10 10:18 PM
horizontal rule
3

Andy Rooney is so off his game. Yesterday, he was on about people selling celebrities' possessions, such as a glove once owned by Michael Jackson. So lame. And yet, we watch him every week at my house.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-20-10 10:24 PM
horizontal rule
4

I am shuddering at the evident conclusion that Paul Harvey's evil withered spirit is roaming the earth and has taken possession of Fred Fiske's mortal frame.


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 12-20-10 11:35 PM
horizontal rule
5

Becks!


Posted by: David | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 6:16 AM
horizontal rule
6

Distilled:

I don't know why a trend is trendy in a country we think of as a trend-setter. I don't understand why anyone gets a tattoo. I understand why sailors get tattoos. Tattoos used to mean something dangerous; now they only mean that a gang member has committed murder. Technology is more sophisticated than it used to be. Wouldn't it be funny if someone got a name of a girl tattooed on himself and then broke up with that girl? Fred Fiske out.


Posted by: mark f the occasional delurker | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 6:28 AM
horizontal rule
7

Wouldn't it be funny if someone got a name of a girl tattooed on himself and then broke up with that girl?

Wino Forever!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 6:49 AM
horizontal rule
8

I'm feeling curmudgeonly. My aunt, my cousin.. his wife and their 2 kids were supposed to be flying here from Toronto tonight. But I've just seen that their flight is now marked as Cancelled on the Pearson website. Looks like it's because we can't get the planes back out of Heathrow quickly enough - a morning flight from Toronto has departed, but the evening ones are cancelled.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 6:53 AM
horizontal rule
9

Several of his tattoos are understandable and symbolic specific to Depp himself. On one ankle is a skull and crossbones with the phrase "death is certain."

Only Johnny Depp is certain to die.


Posted by: mark f the occasional delurker | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 6:58 AM
horizontal rule
10

Who the hell can afford tattoos? I consider them a waste of money, but I consider shoes a waste of money. I have a peace sign on my ankle I put on in 1967 with India ink and a sewing needle, but that was probably simple masochism, and free. I know I will regret that youthful indiscretion someday, as the polluted spot on my body becomes melanoma or something.

She has seven or something, and has upgraded a couple from black to color. I think they are all tiny dragons or Celtic swirlies. I would never say anything about the expense. She at least doesn't buy inutile shoes.

I get her gimme t-shirts from the bloodbanks, dog and breast cancer charities, because she wears v-necks to show off a dragon, so there are compensations.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:08 AM
horizontal rule
11

dog and breast cancer charities

We never let our dog smoke or use asbestos chew toys.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:12 AM
horizontal rule
12

10:s/b " " ", "


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:15 AM
horizontal rule
13

but I consider shoes a waste of money.

This approach is probably viable in Dallas. Those of us who live in the frozen north find that putting a layer of rubber or leather between our feet and the snow provides measurable utility in terms of days not spent in hospitals.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:16 AM
horizontal rule
14

Yes, I am very fond of shoes. I agree that tattoos seem like a waste of money. But, I'm not big into making myself look distinctive.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:19 AM
horizontal rule
15

If you tattoo your feet the color of leather it'll be the last pair of shoes you'll ever need. It might be more costly up front, but in the long run you'll save.


Posted by: mark f the occasional delurker | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:22 AM
horizontal rule
16

She has seven or something
"One, but it's not finished yet".


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:26 AM
horizontal rule
17

I liked Ratatouille. Is that what we're talking about? I struggle to keep up.


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:29 AM
horizontal rule
18

Or maybe just the LA Gear logo.


Posted by: mark f the occasional delurker | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:35 AM
horizontal rule
19

#15:

'Oh dear, dear!' said Milligan , getting to his feet. 'I've scratched all the paint off the toe of me boot,'

'Is dat right den, you paint yer boots?'

'True, it's the most economical way. Sometimes I paints 'em brown, when I had enough o' dat I paints em black again. Dat way people tink you got more than one pair, see? Once when I played the cricket I painted 'em white, you should try dat.'

'Oh no,' said Murphy solemnly. 'Oh no, I don't like inteferring wid nature. Der natural colour of boots is black as God ordained, any udder colour and a man is askin' fer trouble,'

'Oh, and what I may ask is wrong wid brown boots?'

'How do I know? I never had a pair.'


'Take my tip, Murphy, you got to move wid der times man. The rich people in Dublin are all wearin' the brown boots; when scientists spend a lifetime inventin' a thing like the brown boots, we should take advantage of the fact.'

'No, thank you,' said Murphy's eyebrows, 'I'll stick along wid the inventor of the black boots. After all they don't show the dirt.'

'Dat's my argument, black don't show the dirt, brown ones don't show the mud and a good pair of green boots won't show the grass.'

'By Gor', you got something dere,' said the Murphy. 'But wait, when you was wearing dem white boots, what didn't dey show?'

'They didn't show me feet,' said Milligan,


Posted by: dsquared | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:36 AM
horizontal rule
20

I consider shoes a waste of money.

I always thought of bob as a hobbit, actually.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 8:06 AM
horizontal rule
21

20: I like this. Sitting around smoking his pipeweed, ranting at the neighbors that the orcs are their natural allies in the fight against the Gondor.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 8:12 AM
horizontal rule
22

I am filled with Jesus' love. And trail mix!


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 8:20 AM
horizontal rule
23

The "straight man" is the key to comedy.

Da-dum. Another set-up for y'all.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 8:32 AM
horizontal rule
24

That's why the guy who played Frank and the guy who played Henry were the best actors in M.A.S.H. But Alan Alda got all the glory.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 8:38 AM
horizontal rule
25

10: I have a peace sign on my ankle I put on in 1967 with India ink and a sewing needle, but that was probably simple masochism, and free. I know I will regret that youthful indiscretion someday, as the polluted spot on my body becomes melanoma or something.

My Ojibwe teacher in 8th grade had a funny story about that. Seems that one of his friends was in Vietnam, and he went on a bender and woke up the next morning with a largish peace sign tattooed on the back of his hand. His company commander saw it and asked what did he think he was doing getting a peace sign tattoo? So the fellow said "Oh, it's not a peace sign, it's a wagon wheel, but it's not finished yet." So the commander said "Next time I see you, that wagon wheel better be finished." So ever since he's had a wagon wheel tattoo on the back of his hand.

Also, a friend of mine was involved in a wager in which the loser had to get a tattoo of the winner's choice. She lost, so now she has a tattoo of an anthropomorphic banana in prison stripes on her right leg.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 8:57 AM
horizontal rule
26

I do regret getting this tatoo.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 8:58 AM
horizontal rule
27

So ever since he's had a wagon wheel tattoo on the back of his hand.

Wait, is he the one to blame for that awful "Wagon Wheel" song?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:03 AM
horizontal rule
28

Pauly's comments on this thread are particularly delightful. (Though not delightful enough that I'd get his name tatooed on my body -- any commonly visible part, anyway.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:06 AM
horizontal rule
29

Confession: I have a picture of an ear tattooed on each bicep. I am well qualified to mock. Or in no position to, depending on your point of view.


Posted by: mark f the occasional delurker | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:10 AM
horizontal rule
30

26: That guy left a comment on my site once.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:11 AM
horizontal rule
31

JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE BELLS! JINGLE ALL THE WAY!


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:16 AM
horizontal rule
32

30: Wow! A brush with greatness!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:17 AM
horizontal rule
33

(Though not delightful enough that I'd get his name tatooed on my body -- any commonly visible part, anyway.)

I'm imagining a Pauly Shore tattoo on standardly-concealed body parts, and giggling.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:18 AM
horizontal rule
34

30: You know, I had been trying to rack my brain for how I had originally found out about such a demented picture. Now it makes perfect sense that it was from your blog.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:18 AM
horizontal rule
35

YO QUIERO TACO BELL!*

*But you guys are still the best. The best!


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:19 AM
horizontal rule
36

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas... with all of you lovely, smart people. It's a dream so beautiful, I'm tearing up just a little. God, you guys are great.

Hooray for the Christmas spirit! It's almost Jesus' birthday, y'all!


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:20 AM
horizontal rule
37

Sitting around smoking his pipeweed, ranting at the neighbors that the orcs are their natural allies in the fight against the Gondor.

But none of us Hobbiton elites take him seriously because he lives in a sketchy part of The Marish.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:20 AM
horizontal rule
38

26: That guy left a comment on my site once.

Did he invent a new use of the word 'dawn'?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:30 AM
horizontal rule
39

I love this place.


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:31 AM
horizontal rule
40

I'm enjoying Mark F's contributions to this thread.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:33 AM
horizontal rule
41

These kids need to get off my lawn.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
42

LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! Now can somebody give me a ride to Radio Shack? My manager says I'm gonna get fired if I'm late again. He kind of a grouch, but I think down deep he's actually a decent fellow. I mean, he hired me, right? And lord knows I'm not qualified for the job.

Well anyway, have a holly, jolly Christmas, amigos!


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:37 AM
horizontal rule
43

But none of us Hobbiton elites take him seriously because he lives in a sketchy part of The Marish.

Bree, rather. Cheek by jowl with the Big People. Very suspicious. All sorts of queer folk there nowadays.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:48 AM
horizontal rule
44

I had a dream last night that Pauly Shore was leaving crazy garbled comments on my blog.

41: I will always want the kids off my lawn when it comes to texting. I have a very strong aversion to it even though it's so popular. Maybe it's because I'm charged 15 cents per text. I get like 5 texts a month so it's a negligible charge, but just knowing that I'm being charged must bother the Yankee in me.


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:51 AM
horizontal rule
45

44: I get unlimited free texts and unlimited free data. Just thought I should boast about that a bit.

I'm off to download the Human Genome now.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:56 AM
horizontal rule
46

45: Is that what the kids are calling it these days?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:58 AM
horizontal rule
47

That article is really bad:

The numbers testify to the trend. The number of total unique visitors in the United States to major e-mail sites like Yahoo and Hotmail is now in steady decline, according to the research company comScore. Such visits peaked in November 2009 and have since slid 6 percent; visits among 12- to 17-year-olds fell around 18 percent. (The only big gainer in the category has been Gmail, up 10 percent from a year ago.)

So, Hotmail down 6%, Gmail up 10% - the shittier webmail services are getting used less, and the good one is getting used more. But that doesn't fit with the with the writer's thesis, so instead its presented as another sign that email is in terminal decline.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 9:59 AM
horizontal rule
48

No, no, you guys should stick with talking about tattoos. I was waiting until we needed a post to post something altogether too similar to a conversation about kids and texting and chatting.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:02 AM
horizontal rule
49

Or hell, maybe I should just go write it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:02 AM
horizontal rule
50

You could always write a grumpy post about how those kids these days are always showing off their skivvies and really ought to pull up their pants, I tell you what.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:05 AM
horizontal rule
51

48: I got a tattoo when I was 19. I don't regret it at all. Now that I dress conservatively and all my piercings have closed up, it's the only evidence I have that I used to be a rebel. But the tattoo is also the size of a silver dollar and on my hip so there are no societal repercussions.


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:05 AM
horizontal rule
52

49: That would be my suggestion.

I don't have any tattoos.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:06 AM
horizontal rule
53

The popular thing in Salt Lake City is to expand your earlobes. This is the most disgusting thing that a person could do to themselves in my view. Is this popular everywhere? I don't remember it being a thing in California, but in my trendy SLC neighborhood it's all the rage.


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:07 AM
horizontal rule
54

I would often see tattoos of...sorrow? When I lived in williamsburg. Examples: A detailed - I mean DETAILED - diagram of a fixed gear bike; a large, scripty "Brooklyn" on a young, white, female transplant's shoulder; full sleeves or legs composed entirely of "ironic" things along the lines of, like, childhood cartoon characters doing stupid things. The word "tattoo." "I am shy." Things of that nature. I may have said this before, but it was kind of like living in a Dr. Seuss book.

I have my own tattoos - something I got at 18 while really emotional and...18, and something else I got while on a temporary medically induced bender in a foreign country. I don't regret either of them, but they're also pretty innocuous.

Still, I very much look forward to touring retirement homes in fifty years.

That, or think it's worthwhile to invest in any improvements in tattoo removal. There's no way all those trustafarians are going to keep those things once they move to the UW, right?


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:07 AM
horizontal rule
55

46: nicely done.

...Perhaps I should have said "upload".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:08 AM
horizontal rule
56

54.1 A tattoo that says "tattoo"? That's awesome! I hope someone has a tattoo in Chinese script that means "tattoo." That's even funnier.


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:12 AM
horizontal rule
57

When I got my tattoo at the age of 18, I figured that if I ever regretted it, than having it would be my punishment for getting old.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:24 AM
horizontal rule
58

57: Not realizing how many other punishments there would be?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:27 AM
horizontal rule
59

Although, in retrospect, getting this tattoo was probably not a good idea.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:28 AM
horizontal rule
60

What would really frustrate my younger self is that, now that I've reached a point in my life where I can afford some really nice tattoos, I'm too mature to actually want one.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:32 AM
horizontal rule
61

Daughter's tat in flickr group. I don't think she regrets it yet. We're pretty used to it.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:42 AM
horizontal rule
62

61: What's the full quote? "...beautiful and nothing"? Did you completely freak when she came home with it? It's so conspicuous.


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:45 AM
horizontal rule
63

61: At the moment I'm trying to figure out how my daughter is going to get used to mine (in addition to the aforementioned ears I have an idiot deer from a Gary Larson sketchbook on a forearm). I never really thought about parenthood when I decided to get them, I guess.

40: [Sheepish blush]


Posted by: mark f the occasional delurker | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:46 AM
horizontal rule
64

Andy Rooney, the one newsman who is not working on the breaking hot stories and should have time for a distraction,
is the only person I've seen kick out that Ali G character.

15/19: Dsquared is both a fashion house and blog commenter.

When I want to send you a message, I just click on your name under your last unfogged comment. hotmail 0, unfogged 1.
I did not mean to out myself as the lurking supporter though.


Posted by: Econolicious as OPINIONATED LURKER | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:51 AM
horizontal rule
65

62 -- The canonical response is RTFA. But, having been something of a jerk recently, I'll just link. See also comments 132, 139.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 10:54 AM
horizontal rule
66

expand your earlobes. This is the most disgusting thing that a person could do to themselves

Wrong!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:03 AM
horizontal rule
67

That thread also contains a great suggestion from Emerson for anyone who still needs to buy Christmas gifts:

Tattoo parlor gift certificates are a great gift for teenagers. The age of consent is probably the same as for sex.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:04 AM
horizontal rule
68

66: No! I didn't want to be proven wrong about that. How completely horrifying!!!


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:07 AM
horizontal rule
69

Oh, I can link much, much worse.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:08 AM
horizontal rule
70

Hmmm... maybe I should put a fake tattoo parlor gift certificate in niece's Christmas stocking, and see if my sister freaks out.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:09 AM
horizontal rule
71

66 notwithstanding, I agree with 53 to the extent that it's bizarre-looking enough that I'm shocked by what seems to be its near-mainstream level of popularity. It seems like something I'd expect to see on the fringes of the body-mod crowd (like the guy in 66), not on every damn kid I see.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:12 AM
horizontal rule
72

69 For the love of God, no.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:14 AM
horizontal rule
73

72: +1.

I wonder the point at which body modification becomes self-mutilation and if 66 has cross that line and if I'm old for thinking that the answer if "yes."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:17 AM
horizontal rule
74

Lower gross-out factor, but probably a higher cringe and long-term medical risk factor: eye tattoos. On the upside, if facing an enemy that has been ordered not to shoot until they see the whites of their eyes, these guys are golden.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:22 AM
horizontal rule
75

I'm interested by the changing fashions of neck tattoos-- something that can be covered with long hair seems acceptable for young women now. Nicknames in elaborate script on the side of the neck are another popular genre, though not with the same people. Leopard spots or stars behind the ear are the corner case.

I think my first unfogged post was about the leg extension surgery so popular in China. Plastic surgery ads in Brazilian and Hong Kong magazines take some getting used to.

That's to say that fiddling with one's body seems like a pretty deep-seated impulse, even if kids and foreigners aren't doing it right.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:23 AM
horizontal rule
76

Lower gross-out factor

Definitely false.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:25 AM
horizontal rule
77

That's to say that fiddling with one's body seems like a pretty deep-seated impulse

Which is why Jocelyn Elders was right.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:27 AM
horizontal rule
78

76: I dunno, Ben. If you're walking down the street, colored sclera versus being able to peer directly into somebody's sinus cavity?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:28 AM
horizontal rule
79

I meant those pictures, you know, with the needles in the eyes.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:29 AM
horizontal rule
80

68, 69: I was going to say. That's not even remotely close.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:29 AM
horizontal rule
81

This is visually compelling.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:31 AM
horizontal rule
82

When I got my tattoo at the age of 18, I figured that if I ever regretted it, than having it would be my punishment for getting old.

Iexpect I'll regret you / But the skin graft man won't get you.

Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:33 AM
horizontal rule
83

73: well, that depends.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:33 AM
horizontal rule
84

This is visually compelling.

As is this.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:34 AM
horizontal rule
85

And this, though I can't tell what they are exactly. Barbell things?


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:40 AM
horizontal rule
86

The surprising thing I learned when I briefly dated someone with big-gauge ear piercings was that they sometimes smell bad. Ew.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:41 AM
horizontal rule
87

You mean Fontana Labs?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:45 AM
horizontal rule
88

For years now I've been seriously considering getting a tattoo of this symbol, but my gradual leftward drift has me a bit ambivalent about how closely I want to have such a right-libertarian-associated symbol etched into my skin. Hmm.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:48 AM
horizontal rule
89

86: The holes in the ear smell bad or the kind of person likely to get big holes in their ears tends to smell bad in general?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:48 AM
horizontal rule
90

You mean Fontana Labs?

As if I'd be looking at his *ears*.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:49 AM
horizontal rule
91

89: The holes and maybe the earrings, too. A very distinct pungent smell. DO NOT WANT.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:50 AM
horizontal rule
92

It has been a while, but I remember when my sisters got their ears pierced I seem to remember that they were supposed to disinfect the piercing for so many days after. Maybe she forgot and you should have just given her a big bottle of rubbing alcohol.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:53 AM
horizontal rule
93

88: Allow me to warn against getting anything used as a logo. When I got my tattoo, it was just a cool graphic that I liked that also happened to be the logo of a little boutique winery. Now it's a honking huge grocery store staple and I have the equivalent of a DIET COKE or BUD LIGHT tattoo on my back. Sigh.

On the upside, I get complimentary tastings at their winery for life.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 11:58 AM
horizontal rule
94

93: My brother got a Rocket from the Crypt tattoo, explaining that it was worth the money because it meant he got into RftC shows for free for life. And then they broke up before he even went to a free show.

Tattoos: not a great investment model.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:01 PM
horizontal rule
95

That's why I only invest in subprime mortgages.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:03 PM
horizontal rule
96

I have a Fannie Mae tattoo on my ass.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:07 PM
horizontal rule
97

You know who had a cool tattoo? Hitler's son.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:10 PM
horizontal rule
98

"Whoah, I can't any other dude was stupid enough to get 'CUNTY' tattooed on his dick. Were you drunk, too?"

"Oh no man, mine says 'COUNTRYWIDE'. Free mortgages in shitty neighborhoods for life."


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:13 PM
horizontal rule
99

At one point I almost got the Chevy bow-tie logo tattooed. Glad I didn't, now that I drive a Honda.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:14 PM
horizontal rule
100

I certainly regretted getting that giant Cool Colt tattoo across my back. Thank goodness they were able to change it to "Cobol Cottage".


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:16 PM
horizontal rule
101

This tattoo, however, will never go out of style.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:18 PM
horizontal rule
102

Corporate tattoos.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:19 PM
horizontal rule
103

Corporate tattoos done right.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:20 PM
horizontal rule
104

The most attractive word for tattoo in Chinese is probably 刺青, pierced blue. Aesthetic value doesn't make character tattoos any less ridiculous: this gentleman has implemented a striking presentation of the word "vegetables."


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:25 PM
horizontal rule
105

Um, someone very close to me has pretty sizable plugs, and they don't smell bad at all. Also, I know a lot of people with heroically large plugs and I've never noticed any odor worse than patchouli oil coming from any of them.

My tattoos are totally awesome. I've had the first one for 5 years now and I am still very happy with it.

But it's all so mainstream now. When I worked at the brokerage house, probably 20% of the people on my floor had visible tattoos. It's just not that big a deal if it's not a swastika or an eye tattoo or whatever.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:27 PM
horizontal rule
106

someone very close to me has pretty sizable plugs, and they don't smell bad at all.

Yes, I feel uncharitable having seemingly maligned all plugs wearers. I suspect, as Moby suggests, there was some upkeep not being kept up in this particular case.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:31 PM
horizontal rule
107

Um, someone very close to me has pretty sizable plugs, and they don't smell bad at all.

I once briefly worked with a guy who had sizable hair plugs. They didn't smell from the other end of a table, but getting giant earrings would have been less conspicuous. Maybe it is like with grass and the plugs of hair spread out? At least, that must have been what the doctor told him.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:31 PM
horizontal rule
108

104: I actually think that it's the Raistlin eyes from Dragonlance that will be the greater source of shame.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:34 PM
horizontal rule
109

105: Now I'm imagining the cast of, say, Boiler Room decked out with tats that show what bad-ass sellers they are. "Always Be Closing" or something.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:35 PM
horizontal rule
110

I've never noticed any odor worse than patchouli oil coming from any of them

Talk about low standards. There are probably a half dozen smells in the world that are worse than patchouli oil.

And would a smell comparable to patchouli oil smell be in any way inconsistent with Stanley's assessment of a "very distinct pungent smell"?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:38 PM
horizontal rule
111

A friend has a tattoo of the Triforce on his arm. He never gets tired of me "mistaking" it for the Mitsubishi logo.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:39 PM
horizontal rule
112

Patchouli itself isn't so bad (though I wouldn't consider it a pleasant scent). It's patchouli laid over a thick layer of unwashed hippie body odor that really rings the bell.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:41 PM
horizontal rule
113

62 -- The canonical response is RTFA. But, having been something of a jerk recently, I'll just link. See also comments 132, 139. And 253; we shouldn't let Ben's perving go forgotten.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:42 PM
horizontal rule
114

This would be punk rock patchouli oil. It's different.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:44 PM
horizontal rule
115

I have a triskelion tatoo, which is a fancy name for three spirals attached to a triangle. Sometimes it looks a little too much like a biohazard symbol.


Posted by: LizSpigot | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 12:45 PM
horizontal rule
116

93.2 -- I hope you're collecting on that. Nice to see Constellation honoring this: do you suppose they do it with any of their other brands (e.g., St. Pauli Girl)?


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:07 PM
horizontal rule
117

On the upside, I get complimentary tastings at their winery for life.

FWIW it's also a beautiful thing to have a tattoo of, supposing it's the design at the top of the linked page. I'd never seen it.

I used to want a tornado tattoo because I had a lot of tornado dreams and I figured if I were to get anything emblazoned permanentishly on me, it should be something from my unconscious. The dreams were scary but somehow also comforting, something about their recurrence. And then I mostly stopped having those dreams and started having a lot more about airplanes, which I don't want on me so much. It's probably fine. It's hard to find a picture of a tornado that would work well as a tattoo.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:12 PM
horizontal rule
118

I'm on Santa's naughty list because I'm totally gonzo. Watch this: POOP!

HA HA! I SAID POOP!

Come on guys, it's okay to laugh. I'm a professional comedian, after all.


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:12 PM
horizontal rule
119

117: combine your obsessions!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:15 PM
horizontal rule
120

As long as we're talking about appearances, here's an ATM on sartorial vs. feminist integrity. I had an informational interview today as part of my job search. (An I-would-like-to-have-a-new-job search, not an oh-shit-I-don't-have-a-job search.) It was with an academic and wasn't going to morph into a job interview; whatever impression I made on him matters, but is less crucial than in a real job interview.

So...I have 2 pairs of closed toe shoes. One pair is bright red and flat and one is black with like 2" heels. I wear the red shoes with all sorts of things, but they really wouldn't go with the olive and pink shirt that I was planning to wear. I was suddenly hesitant about wearing the black shoes since they would potentially make me tower over this guy and that might have some subconscious effect on him. People I see on a regular basis remark on how extra tall the shoes make me seem. (For those of you haven't experienced my imposing presence, I'm 6' and a woman, my pseud notwithstanding.)

And then I felt ridiculous for worrying about such B.S. but I also still sort of worried about it. And then I found 5 dollars and wondered what you all would think about it.

(In the end, I wore sandals because the temperature was going up to the high 70's.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:15 PM
horizontal rule
121

I was suddenly hesitant about wearing the black shoes since they would potentially make me tower over this guy and that might have some subconscious effect on him.

Is there a gendered difference that I wasn't aware of where being tall doesn't affect implicit power relationships the same way when you're a woman? Because for a man I would see towering over the dude as sort of a benefit in that situation.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:19 PM
horizontal rule
122

Well, it all depends on whether the outlines of your nipples were visible through the shoes.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:20 PM
horizontal rule
123

I mean, in a networking-y kind of interview, you want to be 1. extremely coherent about your goals, 2. personable and 3. memorable, right?


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:21 PM
horizontal rule
124

120: I don't think you're ridiculous for worrying about it, because that kind of BS is real. I also think chucking the worry aside with slight irritation, as you seem to have done, is the right thing to do, bc really, what else can you do. If some dude is gonna be threatened by a woman, he'll find a way to be threatened by a woman.

Also, as an aside: 6'? Awesome. For years I persisted in the belief I was going to be 5'10" or taller. I never made it north of 5'3". Like, I bought pairs of shoes in anticipation of some sort of late in life growth spurt. Several pairs of shoes.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:22 PM
horizontal rule
125

124: Were your feet going to be getting bigger as you got taller, or is there some other reason those shoes can't still be worn, as you seem to imply?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:24 PM
horizontal rule
126

123 to 121. Lots of times guys seem to translate "this woman threatens me in some uncomfortably gendered way that has little to do with her and lots to do with me" into "she's a fucking bitch." I think feeling emasculated by a woman who's significantly taller could probs fall into that category. But in my (admittedly limited) experience, it's only really short guys who are nuts about this.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:25 PM
horizontal rule
127

I think finding $5 is 100% pretty cool.


Posted by: mark f the occasional delurker | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:25 PM
horizontal rule
128

Also, what does ATM mean to you all? To me it means "at the money" and I can't shake it.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:26 PM
horizontal rule
129

120: Yeah, I don't know this stuff firsthand, but Dr. Oops (your height or a bit taller) does, and I've never heard her worry about backlash from looking too tall professionally -- I'd wear the shoes without fear.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:27 PM
horizontal rule
130

93, 115: The first time I saw that logo, I thought: "Hey! They stole my sister's tattoo design for their wine!"

A more pertinent question would be: "What is the name of the third raven?" The first two must be Hugin and Munin of course. I think the third one's name is Shecky.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:29 PM
horizontal rule
131

(Not that yours and donaq's worries aren't reasonable, but I think it just doesn't tend to work exactly that way.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:30 PM
horizontal rule
132

128: RTFA A clue!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:32 PM
horizontal rule
133

For years I persisted in the belief I was going to be 5'10" or taller. I never made it north of 5'3".

I persisted in believing I was going to get taller too. Both my older brothers are 6'3", so there was no way I was going to stop at 5'8". I finally realized it wasn't going to happen on my 30th birthday.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:33 PM
horizontal rule
134

130: I prefer to think of them as crows (Badb, Macha and Nemain: the Morrigan).


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:33 PM
horizontal rule
135

121: Some version of 126 is what I was thinking of. Gender differences in reaction to height show up in various places, most obviously with men who won't date women taller than they are (and vice versa for women). I don't generally think about it in my professional context -- I wear those shoes all the time -- except for getting tired of people remarking on it.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:35 PM
horizontal rule
136

Also, what does ATM mean to you all?

It began as "...at the Mineshaft" used in the same double-entendre-identifying fashion as "if you know what I mean." This originated with a since-deleted comment (from the sadly missed Fontana Labs during a penis-related discussion) along the lines of "everything I know about this I learned from the guys who pound my ass in the back room at the Mineshaft". More recently, it's short for "Ask the Mineshaft" where a commenter submits a question for the collective wisdom of this fine establishment.

Also, ass to mouth.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:35 PM
horizontal rule
137

I mean, in a networking-y kind of interview, you want to be 1. extremely coherent about your goals, 2. personable and 3. memorable, right?

Damn.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:36 PM
horizontal rule
138

126: I mean, in a social situation, or one where you actually have authority over the guy (or are peers with mutual responsibilities) I could see it, but in an informational interview it seems like there's plenty of room to undercut that with lots of cheerful obsequiousness and use the memorableness of your height to your advantage.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:37 PM
horizontal rule
139

lots of cheerful obsequiousness

I really should have posted an Ask Sifu Tweety yesterday.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:43 PM
horizontal rule
140

(The interview in fact went well and he seemed to like me just fine.)


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:48 PM
horizontal rule
141

Someone (darB gnoLeD, maybe?) speculated that The Mineshaft was derived from the German Gemeinschaft (community). I like to pretend this is true.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:49 PM
horizontal rule
142

Just don't walk up to short, bald guys and do that thing where you play the bongos on their head, and you'll be fine.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:50 PM
horizontal rule
143

141: Homophobe.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:51 PM
horizontal rule
144

132, 136: Palm to forehead.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 1:59 PM
horizontal rule
145

144: that's not quite right, but could be used to prevent ATM.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:06 PM
horizontal rule
146

141: Homophobe.

Hrm? I thought the claim was that the original Mineshaft was derived from Gemeinschaft, which would make sense, since it was a real institution within the leather community.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:12 PM
horizontal rule
147

Oh, and hey! Along with tattoo parlor gift certificates, another great Christmas gift would be these retro Mineshaft t-shirts.

Note: "All proceeds from the sales of these tee shirts and other items are going to help me raise moneyfor activist activities and to go to Washington and lobby Congress with a REAL gay mans perspective and not the HRC's namby pamby one. (I also plan on visiting Solmonese and give him a piece of my mind!)"


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:18 PM
horizontal rule
148

127: Thanks for your support!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:19 PM
horizontal rule
149

146: Is that what you meant, Knecht?

If that is the case, I most humbly apologize.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:26 PM
horizontal rule
150

148: Finding $5 when your eyes are way up at that altitude is really quite a feat.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:26 PM
horizontal rule
151

I got skillz.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:41 PM
horizontal rule
152

Aie, I have a potential roommate interview this evening on my way home from work! Should I be wearing flat shoes?! Too late!


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:43 PM
horizontal rule
153

Someone (darB gnoLeD, maybe?) speculated that The Mineshaft was derived from the German Gemeinschaft (community).

As opposed to Gesellschaft, which is a term from African animal husbandry.

Don't blame me for the execrable pun. Blame Stanley.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 2:59 PM
horizontal rule
154

Update to 152: yes, I towered over the interviewer but didn't want the room, so it was a wash.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 6:28 PM
horizontal rule
155

I want to give the world a hug. But I want to start with you guys. Because you're the best.


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:54 PM
horizontal rule
156

Have only two people shouted out "Becks!" on this thread?

Becks!


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 7:57 PM
horizontal rule
157

Because I ain't no Holla-Beck Girl.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-10 8:05 PM
horizontal rule
158

120. There remains a small category of short-arse male managers who don't hire tall women (or tall men) through personal insecirity. That is only one reason why you don't want to work for such people anyway.

Mrs y, who is 5' 11", realised that she wasn't going to get a job with one such from his facial expression when she walked in. After sitting through the interview, she came home and said, "Fuck me, that was a lucky escape." So don't worry, be happy, wear the heels.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12-22-10 1:01 AM
horizontal rule