Re: The Polite Avoid?

1

"Brush-off", maybe? Sounds a bit rude, but nothing truly polite comes to mind. I'm not sure we need a specific term for not having a conversation, anyway. I gather that you had a brief exchange of pleasantries ("Hey, what's up, long time no see, how you doing, that's great, I've got to get going, I'll see you around") but deliberately avoided sitting down and catching up for a while?


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 10:52 AM
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The cut indirect.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 10:52 AM
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3

Are you hiding under the table so he doesn't see you, or are you saying,"Hi, great to see you! we should talk! Gotta go! Bye"?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 10:57 AM
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1: Nope. No conversation at all. Eye contact. The half-smile acknowledgment thing. And then each go about our merry way. (Er, or in my case, keep sitting here in a café with earbuds in.)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 10:57 AM
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I once had the catch-up conversation with a guy who knew me well but I didn't know who he was because he lost over 100 pounds in the 6 months since I'd seen him. I think it went O.K. because the fact that I couldn't recognize him was an indication of his accomplishment.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:00 AM
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4: Hadn't even considered that possibility! Is this something you feel is cooperative, or are you controlling the situation with a fierce "Do not talk to me!" vibe?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:03 AM
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6: I felt it was cooperative. In a "yeah, we could have an exchange of pleasantries, but let's just not" sort of way. Maybe it's entirely imagined, though.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:06 AM
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I'm looking at you.

You don't see me.

I could call out
And you would turn your head and see me
And we would talk
And talk and talk
Like we had nothing to say
Like my call to you was only a polite gesture
And not the last desperate plea
Of a dying man.

But I'm not polite,
And, no, I'm not dying,
So I think I think I'll stand here and look at you a little while longer,
And then walk away.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:15 AM
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9

See #2 in the last ATM?


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:18 AM
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10

CockTalkblock


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:20 AM
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11

9: This number two?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:21 AM
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Your question made me think of an evocative Japanese word すれ違う surechigau, meaning "pass by one another," but with a "two ships in the night passing silently" dramatic ring to it (and indeed it's apparently common in romantic songs about lovers unsuccessfully trying to meet up). I guess it doesn't imply deliberate avoidance, though.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:21 AM
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11: I think this one would be a more effective means of avoiding conversation.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:24 AM
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7: The other person is probably thinking, "That Stanley! Now, that he's a rock star, he thinks he's too cool to even talk to me! Well...that's cool. I'll pretend I don't want to talk to him either."


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:25 AM
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15

The ol' Miss n' Thrope.


Posted by: Mo MacArbie | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:26 AM
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16

Boy, 4 sounds way more awkward than 1.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:43 AM
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"two ships in the night passing silently"

Or, as a different experience, "So we passed very fast like ships in the night / Or cars in a contraflow system."


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:44 AM
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You definitely don't want to catch up with someone you never knew very well to begin with. I think I've told the story before about the Resident Head of a friend's house at the U of C, who I was only sort of casually acquainted with, who ran into me on campus and started telling me the story of how his wife left him. DO NOT WANT.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:47 AM
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16: Awkward? It was exactly my preferred outcome. Though it's funny to imagine that the acquaintance is off in some other corner of the Blogosphere Facebook commenting on it being awkward.

I should probably add that it was actually the former roommate of an ex-. That is, a roommate who moved out before the ex- became an ex-.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:54 AM
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20

Boy, Stanley sounds way more awkward than me.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:57 AM
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21

Have you guys seen heebie around? Tell her I'm not here.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:58 AM
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20: But not nearly as awkward as me!

More awkward than heebie, but less awkward than peep, probably describes 99 percent of the human race.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 12:00 PM
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"The Human Being Lawnmower"?

I just like that name.

OT: An older man was removed from the gym this morning by EMTs, sitting upright but wearing an oxygen mask. The aplomb of the second and third wives who are my usual midday gym cohorts was quite impressive, but I suppose they ought to be used to that sort of thing.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 12:03 PM
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The trouble with #1 is that sometimes you get tripped up at that's great, I've got to get going, I'll see you around by the fact that you'd actually both like to stay right where you are, but not talk to each other. IME, anyway. Apparently I'm also more awkward than heebie.


Posted by: Osgood Yousbad | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 12:13 PM
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25

Apparently I'm also more awkward than heebie.

Welcome to the Land!


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 12:15 PM
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"The Human Being Lawnmower"

So much more disturbing than The Human Centipede.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 12:24 PM
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27

Awkwardian mannerisms.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 12:38 PM
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28

The Hail-Fellow-Better-Off-Unmet?


Posted by: cubert | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 2:32 PM
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29

I obviously got this right in 2.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 2:42 PM
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30

The "so long salutation"


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 2:45 PM
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31

The "fleeting greeting"


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 2:45 PM
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32

Or "fleeting greeting; no meeting"


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 2:47 PM
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33

It already has a name. "Chickenshit".


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 3:39 PM
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34

There should be a German word for it. And speaking of German, does anyone who has spent time in Germany remember a fast food product called Pants Pocket Pizza? I have a friend who swears it exists but has no proof.


Posted by: Dill Pickles | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 3:47 PM
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you'd actually both like to stay right where you are, but not talk to each other.

Isn't that, like, being cool?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 4:15 PM
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36

I wish this thread would go past 500 so I could chime in near the end and say, after catching up on it and considering all the input, 2 gets it right. But now I've ruined that chance forever.

4 makes perfect sense to me, though it doesn't mention the all-important little "s'up" nod. Awkwardness being, apparently, my natural habitat.


Posted by: persistently visible | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 5:13 PM
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37

(Er, or in my case, keep sitting here in a café with earbuds in.)

It's taken me several years, but I think I've finally figured out why I'm really not much of a fan of my ipod: most of the music I own annoys me.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 6:21 PM
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38

I guess that was OT.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 6:26 PM
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39

Does explain why you aren't in the mood to talk to an old acquaintance.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 6:30 PM
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40

"Welcome to the Land of Nod!"


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 7:14 PM
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41

And speaking of German, does anyone who has spent time in Germany remember a fast food product called Pants Pocket Pizza? I have a friend who swears it exists but has no proof.

See here.

There's a ringing endorsement there. "Pro: schmeckt wirklich ein bisschen nach Pizza!"


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 7:21 PM
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42

29 made me laugh.

But! What Stanley describes in 4 might be something that happens more when you live in a smaller-ish town / community. If you're running into people you sort of know, or knew, with some kind of frequency, because you've lived in a group housemate situation for years, with a semi-parade of people drifting past, you sort people: this person is at three degrees of separation, and I remember that we all made dinner together one night before my ex-roommate broke up with her (or whatever), and I think she was into rock-climbing, and what's her name again?

I lived in group houses (3 or 4 or 5 people) for quite a few years, with probably 20 roommates having rotated in and out over time, and yeah, after a while, in a smallish community, there's a kind of "Oh, hey [nod, carry on]" interaction that's more or less acceptable.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 7:43 PM
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It's taken me several years, but I think I've finally figured out why I'm really not much of a fan of my ipod: most of the music I own annoys me.

Try getting the non-Shuffle iPod.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 8:16 PM
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44

41 Along those lines I figured that Taco Bell should adopt the slogan of the freeze dried steak I once had while backpacking 'real meat included'. And related, anyone traveling in Europe should be very careful with juices, many of which are mostly sugar water and flavorings rather than real fruit juice.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 8:16 PM
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45

Parsi understands.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 9:20 PM
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46

this is just what i do for most people, unless i manage to start an interesting kalaidescope-brain-fuck conversation


Posted by: yoyo | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:17 PM
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47

I'm late to the party, of course. But where I'm from, willfully avoiding someone is expressed by the verb "to dog." Are you dogging me?


Posted by: jp 吉平 Villanueva | Link to this comment | 02- 4-11 11:28 PM
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48

Nosflow is sort of right as pointed out above (including by several who aren't nosflow himself), however I'm partial to the "cut sublime" or even the "cut infernal".

To Cut
(Cambridge.) To renounce acquaintance with any one is to cut him. There are several species of the cut. Such as the cut direct, the cut indirect, the cut sublime, the cut infernal, &c. The cut direct, is to start across the street, at the approach of the obnoxious person in order to avoid him. The cut indirect, is to look another way, and pass without appearing to observe him. The cut sublime, is to admire the top of King's College Chapel, or the beauty of the passing clouds, till he is out of sight. The cut infernal, is to analyze the arrangement of your shoe-strings, for the same purpose.
--The 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, Francis Grose.

Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:31 AM
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49

The cut infernal, is to analyze the arrangement of your shoe-strings, for the same purpose.

Another favorite! Although, I guess the modern-day version is to fiddle with your smartphone, or if you're truly a terrible person, as am I, pretend you've gotten a call.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:37 AM
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49: Yes, and I think "&c" gives us free hand to add new ones. The cut electronic. Or when exercising--the cut aerobic (like when someone goes to the trouble of hitting you with their car and you just keep on running).


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:47 AM
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47. If that's what "to dog" means where you're from, have some friendly advice. If you ever visit Britain, find a synonym.

(Yes, it's derived from the same source, but...)


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:54 AM
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Dill Pickles!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 9:34 AM
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53

The ol' Miss n' Thrope.

This was insufficiently appreciated above.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 9:34 AM
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48: I was not actually aware of any of those except the cut direct (which I have been led to believe is rather different).


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 9:44 AM
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48 is quite a find.


Posted by: donaquixote | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 10:11 AM
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56

Actually, in light of 37, maybe it's a good idea for me to download the music from all the mix threads, which for some reason I've never done. Are those threads archived somewhere? (I know apo's mixes have generally been cross-posted to his site, and are easy to find there, but I don't know about anyone else's.)


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 11:00 AM
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57

You probably can't get most of the sendspace ones anymore.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 11:02 AM
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58

I don't even own a sendspace player, so that's probably no loss.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 11:03 AM
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59

You probably don't know what sendspace is, as it turns out.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 11:06 AM
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re: 57

I have some of mine. Well, I can find three, anyway. Re-uploading them now.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 11:16 AM
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Sad mix:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/q0etxb

Dsythmic mix:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/hql99y

Guitar mix [16th century to present day]:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/gukxao


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 12:19 PM
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I've been looking through Google Books for uses of "cut indirect," and so far all of them are in dictionaries or explications of idioms, most either directly or disguisedly copying the Grose text in 48. However, most of the others define "cut direct" as nosflow does.

Here are some variants from another source:

Many degrees of cutting occur to the mind: if slightly known as a fellow-traveller, the cutter insists he was never was at the place, nor sailed in the vessel mentioned; and finally denies his own name. This is the cut obtuse. To look an old friend in the face, and affect not to recollect him; this is the cut direct. To look any where but at him; is the cut modest or cut indirect. To forget names with a good grace; as, instead of Tom, Dick, or Harry, to address an old friend with-- "Sir," or "Mister-- What's your name?" This is the cut courteous. To dart up an alley, dash across the street, slip into a shop, or do any thing to avoid the trouble of nodding to some one; is the cut circumbendibus.

Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 2:17 PM
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I've now found it used often enough in novels, magazines, etc. to confirm it's not just a fancy of lexicographers. Anyway, for Stanley's type I propose "the cut amiable."


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 2:29 PM
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I prefer "cut amiable" to "cut indirect", because I really think the one I'm talking about is mutual. But I guess there's no way to know for certain what the other person's thinking.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 2:56 PM
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61: thanks! I just downloaded all three. They look interesting.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 3:17 PM
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The "cut mutual". Although that might not be amiable. Or the "cut agreeable"--scans better to my ear.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 3:25 PM
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64: Given where it happened, a place where it likely happens frequently, I propose "the café cut".


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 3:37 PM
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The 19th century variants on the cut are marvelous. It strikes me that they have chiefly to do with cuts made to an acquaintance of some sort, but there are surely all manner of cuts one might make to (against?) those with whom one's not acquainted.

I found myself in an indoor food market this morning; as my friend occupied himself at a meat counter, I wandered around the purveyors of produce. The produce was all more or less awful, but I paused to consider a large bowl of cilantro one guy had out, and he wanted to know if he could help me. "Oh, well, I was looking at your cilantro, but let me look around a bit; I'll probably be back for it."

Except, no, not really. Cilantro? In February? Friend, if you had fresh parsley, I'd be all over it, but cilantro?

This is a long-winded way of saying that I'm getting tired of bean soups and stews and chilis this winter and am looking for a segue. Potato-leek soup? My friend suggested potato-corn chowder. (I have in hand quite a few small red potatoes.) I like the idea of parsley! Especially if I didn't have to pay five dollars for it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 6:16 PM
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Lent is coming up, parsimon. Perhaps you could just fast.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 6:22 PM
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Huh?


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 6:26 PM
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I was suggesting facetiously that you use the formality of renunciation in the lean season to forgo hard-to-find food, even to the point of going without all manner of food altogether. As my parents used to advise, just ignore me.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 6:39 PM
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Well I was just trying to start a food thread, Jesus!

Of course I don't expect to have parsley (or cilantro) in February, and indeed I eat seasonally and am in winter food mode, but there are transitional foods, are there not? Kale! I want some greens. I'm tired of starches. Bleah.

(/grumpy)


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 6:48 PM
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A goal in designing new types of "cut" seems to making sure the adjective is French, or at least Frenchy. That's why I chose "amiable" rather than "amicable." But maybe cut mutuel?


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 6:53 PM
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A food thread, of course. We used to have those, didn't we? I too am tired of starches, but it didn't stop me from having moules frites last night. I will repent with kale tomorrow.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 6:54 PM
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moules frites

I had to google that. I'm on record as being against bivalves, but I'm sure it's delicious.

I intend to make a variation on tabouli (spell however you like) tomorrow. Grain salad, basically, with bulghur wheat, red onions and red and green peppers, garlic, calamata olives, a red wine vinaigrette, sprinkled with feta cheese, and I might throw some shredded kale in there or something, or maybe some corn. I have really had enough of lentils and black beans and whatnot.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:08 PM
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You eat moles and spell poorly?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:08 PM
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I love to eat cooked bivalves. Maybe I should google it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:16 PM
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seems to be


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:26 PM
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THEY COOKED IT AND IT WAS GOOD IT'S MOULES!!


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:47 PM
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there are surely all manner of cuts one might make to (against?) those with whom one's not acquainted.

Wouldn't that just be indifference or everyday dickishness?


Posted by: Populuxe | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 7:49 PM
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The 19th century variants on the cut are marvelous. It strikes me that they have chiefly to do with cuts made to an acquaintance of some sort, but there are surely all manner of cuts one might make to (against?) those with whom one's not acquainted.

I agree with Populuxe, and would elaborate that "cut" has the sense of cutting, or severing, a prior acquaintance. The OED has: "To break off acquaintance or connection with (a person); also (as a single act) to affect not to see or know (a person) on meeting or passing him."


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 8:10 PM
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79 is excellent.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 02- 5-11 8:39 PM
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83

Cut Off!


Posted by: Guido Nius | Link to this comment | 02- 6-11 3:55 AM
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