My owl's breath smells like owl food.
Didn't we just have this thread? Is there really a competitor to the Eurasian Eagle-Owl?
Watching the pregame show with the sound off is hilarious. Right now they appear to be doing a segment about how patriotic people don't have to be white after all.
4: The fucking reading of the Declaration of Independence if you were watching Fox.
My sound off now. I guess I hate America or something, but there was something very, very disturbing about that segment.
Was that all-day Reagan worship ceremony on CNN part of the pregame show?
5: The fucking reading of the fucking Declaration of Independence
When in the course of erotic events, it becomes necessary for one person to unhook the straps which have connected one part of the lingerie to another, and to assume among the erogenous zones of their partner, the separate and equal pleasure to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect for the opinions of their neighbors requires that they should shut the windows, or a at least not moan so loudly.
We hold these breasts to be self-evident...
That woman from Glee is weird looking in HD.
Xtina is just the worst. Christalmighty.
Thank God for Terminator 2 on AMC as a quick cutaway when it gets too over the top.
Is there really a competitor to the Eurasian Eagle-Owl?
What about those tiny owls that can sit on your palm? They're pretty cool.
This is completely fucking unwatchable. Jesus fuck, my wife and I are in stitches here. "This so much bigger than a football game?" If you exist God... come and kill us. Now.
11: Passing up the "Xtalmighty"? It was just sitting there!
"Coming Up: Kickoff!"
Gee, d'ya think?
How do they determine which team is the visitor?
9: now do the Federalist Papers!
I like to think I'm the only person watching the superbowl while in the other room people have an exercised discussion about Kafka.
17: it's coin flips all the way down, Estanley.
17: Follows even and odd years, but I had to look it up.
"This so much bigger than a football game?"
Dood, John Kerry said today that it's SuperBowl Day. That's like Christmas Day, or New Year's Day, you see. It's the first time I've heard that locution.
11: Speaking of Xtina, Bill Simmons' Twitter feed reports under and over, respectively, for the prop bets regarding the duration of her rendition of the anthem and the time she held "brave."
In related news, if you are making prop bets on the Super Bowl, you are hanging out with the wrong crowd.
I like to think I'm the only person watching the superbowl while in the other room people have an exercised discussion about Kafka.
That's just because the Eagles didn't make it.
9: Natilo, if you ever want to fund some anarchist activities (like a festival? theater?), you have a future writing highbrow porn. Which is good, because I'm pretty sure the only people who still pay for porn are also the type to place classified ads in the New York Review of Books.
Turned on my TV with the sound off. Just saw what looked like an animation of a Cylon dancing around at the left side of the screen. Given how Caprica ended, this has me worried.
I bet the under on the anthem last year. Coincidentally, I just realized I haven't hung out with those people since. GET OUT OF MY LIFE.
I was guessing that Dallas is NFC makes the NFC team at home.
(That was a reference to Flippanter, being in my head. Except I said "my life." I don't know why.)
It's the first time I've heard that locution.
"Superbowl Sunday" is heard a lot, though. (I was born on a Superbowl Sunday, so maybe I should count today as a pseudo-birthday.)
What's the over on Fergie pissing herself during the halftime show?
The Jewish Superbowl Saturday never caught on.
"Fast Five"? Was that the best they could do?
This is completely fucking unwatchable. Jesus fuck, my wife and I are in stitches here. "This so much bigger than a football game?" If you exist God... come and kill us. Now.
Would you like a salve? (Just imagine the accent different.)
39: No, not yet. Busy setting it up to be more exciting when they do at the moment.
38: Thanks. For some reason this year I was unable to adequately suppress the realization that I am contributing to the decline of human civilization by participating. But I'm better now. David Bowie song in a BMW commercial--see how nicely things work out for nice people.
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for some reason i clicked on this link (it's sort of on topic because i'm websurfing instead of watching the superbowl??):
http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Ask-E.-Jean/Ask-E.-Jean-I-m-Married-But-Still-a-Virgin
it bums me out! that's a lousy situation! a lot of the time when i hear people talk about arranged marriages, i pretty much agree that they can work well since hey, your parents know you (in theory) and hey, all it really takes is commitment. and maybe cultural support. but it would suck to find out your man wasn't actually into the ladies, and have little recourse.
ok i guess that's happened a lot throughout history.
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Natalie Portman is in Thor? Hitler would be pissed.
I note that this is the 7th year since Janet Jackson and still no female musicians have been featured for halftime.
I mean "featured" in the sense of billed, so not members of billed bands.
"Sweet Child o' Mine"? Is there nothing that the Blackeyed Peas will not destroy?
31: It used to be that if my bday were a Sunday, it was the Superbowl. But now in our fallen world everything has been moved back.
The crowd where I am is currently rooting for electrocution.
48: The Greek Orthodox Super Bowl is a week sooner.
49: For the interception or the alleged sexual assault.
44: Has it been 7 years? In any case, halftime is supposed to be anodyne, isn't it? Janet Jackson was a one-off, and ... who would be an appropriately non-threatening female halftime performer? Maybe that blond woman, Taylor Swift. Does she put on a rilly big show, though? The couple of times I've seen her perform, she mostly stands in front of the microphone gesturing coyly, without much striding around. Doesn't really work for halftime.
I always wonder how these ridiculous halftime shows look from the cheap seats in the stadium.
The thing on PBS about the history of football was so much better than the pregame. I had to flip away for a while to maintain my sanity.
Does anyone remember a commercial from 2008 (the year that the Patriots didn't manage to be undefeated) that was kind of amazingly racist? I was trying to think of it earlier in the context of a discussion of disturbing Superbowl ads.
... who would be an appropriately non-threatening female halftime performer?
There's no modern-day equivalent of Shania Twain, Christina Aguilera, or Gloria Estefan? I couldn't say myself, but I find it doubtful.
There's no modern-day equivalent of Shania Twain, Christina Aguilera, or Gloria Estefan?
Has Madonna never performed at the SB? At her peak, that could have been ... quite something.
Christina Aguilera
To make up for the anthem?
58: The working title for the next Farrelly brothers project?
A nice bit of irony in having Colin Powell take the lead (w/ the NFL commissioner) on the Declaration of Independence thing in the pre-game. This weekend is the anniversary of his speech to the UN on that nuclear outlaw in Iraq.
63 written before the last 2 plays of that drive.
63: Is that still the line? I thought it had fallen a little during the week.
I think 2.5 was generally the last.
This weekend is the anniversary of his speech to the UN on that nuclear outlaw in Iraq.
I'd like to think that Powell regrets that day.
Googling for "racist 2008 superbowl ad" all return the salesgenie Chinese panda ad so I think there's consensus on that one.
I'd like to think Powell regrets *any* of the various cover-ups he has been involved with, from My Lai forward, but I've yet to see any indication that the man possesses the tiniest bit of shame or integrity.
I'm holding out for the day when we see a Janelle Monáe halftime show.
(Was chatting with my dad on the phone during the halftime show, when he asked me who was on. His zero pop music knowledge meeting my epsilon, I guess. I recognized will.i.am and Fergie. Was unable to explain who Slash was without using Wikipedia. At least I could explain Autotune.)
Super Bowl XLV confuses me, Roman numeral-wise. I keep thing of it as -35. 10 + (5 - 50).
On further reflection, my dad probably has more knowledge of actually-popular popular music than I do, just not when it has any overlap with anything that might be considered hip-hop.
I'm fairly certain that my dad doesn't know a single Beatles song.
Pittsburgh should definitely try and keep possession next time it comes up.
P'burgh by 3 points ... you heard it here. Maybe.
75: Possession is so last century, Woody Hayes.
Possession is so last century
And the Randolph Henry Ash and Christabel LaMotte parts are even the previous century.
There is an endowed professorship in security studies or something named after Woody Hayes.
82: They just miss the extra point and get a FG later.
Well, congratualions tiny, socialist community where nobody lives. This is a very proud moment for Kalmuckia.
At least they name-checked Greenfield.
In, Wisconsin! In, Wisconsin!
Grand old Badger State!
We, your loyal sons and daughters,
Hail thee, good and great.
In, Wisconsin! In, Wisconsin!
Champion of the right,
"Forward", our motto,
God will give thee might!
[Note: Actual state song except or On->In.]
I am in Dallas but the Super Owl seems to be over so I guess I won't go.
Seriously. I'm in Dallas. Hi, Bob.
I've connected through the airport a couple of times, but that's my entire experience of Texas.
People go to Dallas? Huh.
Hi, I'm in Dallas.
It's on the way to Austin, the way I travel. And I have family here.
I played a show in Dallas once. Maybe it was Fort Worth. We had an extra day to kill and played some rather gnarly frisbee golf, too. Five dollars was had by all.
Yay. I somehow once again managed to get through the Superbowl without watching the pregame show, the halftime and whatever comes afterwards.
I even saw some of the game!
max
['The Packers won, right?']
I spent a week in a terrifying hotel in Fort Worth once. Maybe only a couple of days. But it had an artificial canyonscape with a pit of flames.
I'm gathering from Twitter that people found the Groupon ad either offensive or at least tone-deaf.
Actually, I rather enjoyed watching the Superbowl, despite not having a dog in the fight. I decided, on not much, to root for Green Bay, and waddyaknow, they won. Plus it was a nicely close game, so held interest till the end.
Also, en route to the SB viewing destination (six houses down at SK's brother & sister-in-law's house) I got to see Kris Kristofferson in the flesh. They're filming this movie on our street. Apparently Willie Nelson was not around, as his scenes will be shot later.
It's unfortunate that most of my "Oh, yeah. I know that city sort of" stories are based on being in a broke-ass band touring on a shoestring. I end up saying things like, "Buffalo? Why, golly. There's a bar there that does Porn 'n' Chicken Mondays. Order a drink, and you get some chicken. The porn's free on the TVs."
And then I pretend we can have a serious conversation.
It's unfortunate that most of my "Oh, yeah. I know that city sort of" stories are based on being in a broke-ass band touring on a shoestring. not coming to Austin yet.
Unless you watched Austin Stories.
101: Better than, let me tell you about the Radisson, Morton's and the airport that I get from some colleagues.
104: You watched that? I was friends in undergrad with one of the leads. We're probably still friends, we're just very out of touch, although I know she's in L.A. and does stand-up and sketch comedy still.
You know what city said, "Hello."? Savannah. It probably helped that we played a SCAD party.
I did indeed. Let's just say I was pretty handy with the MTV in the late 90s. And you knew Laura! I think I knew that.
I just did a little googling and notice that she bills herself as "the Rosie O'Donnell of female comics".
108: Yeah, now that I think about it I think we've had this conversation before.
You probably didn't know that she was the first person to ever give me a chance to use a car phone. A car phone in a JEEP, motherfuckers.
No more masturbating to Tura Satana.
I saw a flyer that there's a theatre troop in Austin called Delta Burka. I don't know anything about them but I think it's a great name.
A car phone in a jeep! You could pick it up to perpetrate like you were talking.
I'm gathering from Twitter that people found the Groupon ad either offensive or at least tone-deaf.
This reminds me of a conversation I overheard a few days ago in a restaurant, which I kept thinking must be some kind of joke or the result of a bet or something. Every sentence anyone said for, like, at least a couple of minutes straight named some sort of social networking website. "Did you see A's Twitter?" "Yeah, she finally went with B to that restaurant we were reading about on Yelp!" "Yeah, some of us got a Groupon, we should go with C." "Oh, great, I just got a Facebook message from D about C's new job!" "You mean at LinkedIn?"
112: I'm sure it's a well-designed burka.
113: Word, bitches.
I didn't really know what do do with it, it just felt rad, at the time, to be able to call someone while inside a moving vehicle. I called my friend Jimmy, and the converstion went a little sumpin' like this:
Jimmy: Hello?
M/tch: Hey Jim, it's Mitch!!!!1!!1
Jimmy: Hey.
M/tch: Guess where I'm calling you from!!!!1!!1!!!!!!
Jimmy: Uh . . . .
M/tch: I'm inside a JEEP!!!!!
Jimmy: Really? Cool!
M/tch: Well, gotta go. This shit's expensive!
Jimmy: Um, okay. See ya!
M/tch: Bye!!!
It was pretty epic.
"The Orkut": choosing not to join into a group game in public.
My too-clever-by-half joke about that Groupon ad was, "We've had too much of this Free Tibet. It's time we paid for it!"
117: Modern Humorist used to do a thing like "Free Tibet (with purchase of Tibet of equal or greater value)".
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AOL just bought The Huffington Post. Someone's supposed to stop masturbating.
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120: The your-grandparents-don't-know-that-they-can-read-email-independent-of-AOL model won that part of the race.
Someone's supposed to stop masturbating.
Or so I recall grandmother shouting in the hallway during those slow summer evenings. But nobody ever did.
There was a New Yorker article about some new AOL ceo that had grandiose plans of changing the site into a big popular newspage*. I read it and scoffed: "Oh, right, like the Huffington Post!".
*Though I take it from 121 everyone already knew that.
My owl's breath smells like owl food.
dsquared might think it's intimidating to have a couple of owls riding along on his shoulder platforms, but I bet that having owl crap on his back and nasty owl pellets in his beard would really just make him look crazyWelsh.
I like to imagine d^2 realizing it's an impossible dream and settling instead for a couple of Hooters franchises on the outskirts of Cardiff.
OT: Am I going to cancer of the lap from constantly having my laptop on my lap? I'm kind of serious.
If you have testicles, you can cook your sperm, but that I think that is about it for laptop damage.
127: for a second I was worried I was reading that comment on the recipes thread @!!!
Someone's supposed to stop masturbating.
I've been waiting for an announcement from this blog that just reads "No more masturbating." Or maybe "No more masturbating!"
you can cook your sperm
Wrong thread, Moby.
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Is it a Southern thing to call a wake a "viewing"? Also, is it just my Catholic upbringing, or is holding a funeral on Saturday for a passing from the previous Sunday kind of a long time?
Also: I'm not really ready for a bunch of my friends' parents to start shuffling off, so that can go ahead and stop happening.
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I don't think "viewing" is specifically Southern. I do, however, think of a "wake" as being specifically Irish.
133, 134: My experience is the pretty much the same as apo's. In my part of the eastern Midwest, things were almost always billed as a "viewing"*. And Sunday -> Saturday is towards the long end, but not that unusual, especially if the family is far-flung.
*And specifically Irish or not, I always thought of wakes as wet and viewings dry although I have encountered folks who use the two interchangeably.
129: What would that be -- the last post before the asteroid hits?
I've never heard "wake" used and I'm Irish. I've heard "viewing" or "visitation." My own family uses "Rosary," which I'm guessing doesn't get much use in the South.
Ah yeah, "visitation", those too in the land of jell-o and white bread.
136: Leonard Cohen dies. Except for Sifu Tweety.
is it just my Catholic upbringing, or is holding a funeral on Saturday for a passing from the previous Sunday kind of a long time?
Well, the weather's been pretty cold recently; should be fine.
I bet that having owl crap on his back and nasty owl pellets in his beard would really just make him look crazy Welsh. like Merlin in "The Once and Future King".
Wouldn't he have to put on his robe and wizard hat for that?
I simply assumed that he wore them routinely anyway.
I've been waiting for an announcement from this blog that just reads "No more masturbating." Or maybe "No more masturbating!"
Masturbating's changed a lot since I were a lad, Brian. In my day, we masturbated for the sheer love of it. Day and night we did it, all the kids on our estate, masturbating on the old waste ground, masturbating up against the wall of the house … I remember me mam coming out and shouting, "Stop that masturbating and come in for your tea! You'll never amount to anything if all you think about is masturbating!" Masturbating crazy we were. Your young masturbators today, though, it's all about the money, it's all about agents and endorsements. Sometimes I worry that masturbating's in danger of being squeezed out altogether.
(an excerpt from Skippy Dies.)
AOL just bought The Huffington Post.
Is there any way this doesn't end in disaster for both of them?