As long as the shells aren't white or blue or brown, you'll be fine.
We're going to need urple. And a microwave.
Because you might have a jordan almond infestation.
Hmm. From the photo Jammies took, maybe a bit smaller? Why, how scary are those?
THE PHONE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE. GET OUT.
I think you guys might be ova-reacting.
It's human babies, isn't it. Last goddamn thing we need.
Actually I'm a bit confused, they're still intact?
11: I don't approve of your new "if you can't beat him, join him" strategy.
Those are parakeet eggs. MAN-EATING parakeet eggs.
Oh oh here she comes, she's a man-tweeter.
So either it's a little bird or a big insect. Unless it's snakes.
Could there be mother-fucking snakes in my mother-fucking attic?
18: Don't worry they'll eat the fluffy little chicks before they make too big of a mess.
I'm pretty sure we can rule out Suriname toads, so that's good news.
18: Are the shells hard or a bit leathery?
Maybe it's a tiny little triceratops.
Most of the snake eggs look a little bigger.
That comes disassembled, one part per egg.
Most of the snake eggs look a little bigger.
Because they're not to scale.
Here's the photo that Jammies took.
Maybe it's attic C.H.U.D.
C.H.O.D.
Oh crap that's huge. Let me go tinker with that.
Jammies is a giant! Look at those fingers!
I think you guys have worse things than the eggs to worry about. Those big pinkish worms look scary.
Ok, now the photo is perfect sized.
34: Are some of those eggs still intact? Incubate and weaponize them against the others.
Some of these look about the right size.
There are, in fact, translucent geckos all over the place. But they're too tiny to have produced these eggs, we decided. That's not to say there aren't other friendly lizards.
At least I know that what I have to worry about is rats and mice and cockroaches! With your squirrels and raccoons and mystery eggs, you do make me feel better about urban life.
Maybe the tiny translucent geckos came out of the eggs. Maybe soon they will be less tiny. You can always invite Moby for a visit.
Hate to disappoint you jm, but I have an endemic squirrel problem. They fight, they frolic, they fornicate, all across the interiors of your walls, ceilings, and ducts. And they scratch, do they ever scratch. No rats (knocks on wood hard enough to hurt) and other than a serious infestation when I moved in, the roaches have generally been kept at bay with copious amounts of boric acid. Mice are more of a pain, but they eventually all fall for the temptation of the glue trap, and thus the mallet. The worst: meal moths. Hate those fuckers.
The back tenant found the cutest little mouse in the compost pile. Nobody tell Mrs. K-sky, it was all I could do to get her to watch Ratatouille with me and she hid her eyes through most of it.
So what recipe did you use? souris farcie au compote maison? Or did you serve it as a very authentic looking poire souris to some kids?
We need more info, I think. Hard shell or sort of leathery? Even hummingbird eggs aren't that small (unless Jammies has a huge fingernail), plus there's no nest visible, so probably we're looking at some sort of reptile. Gecko eggs are that sort of size if it's a fairly big gecko. But I'm betting on snakes.
It appears that various coins are the standard size comparisons--so get back to us on that.
Snake eggs that I've seen are nearly the same circumference as a snake, and I don't know any snakes as small as that. But Texas is a whole different ballgame, I suppose.
Gecko sounds like the cutest, friendliest answer, and small translucent geckos definitely seem like newly hatched babies. I wish I had geckos in my house.
Pest of the Month!
http://bexar-tx.tamu.edu/IPM/Pest%20of%20the%20Month/2007/December%20Geckos.htm
Scroll down for egg shot. Looks right to me. God, SO ADORABLE.
You know what else would be cute would be a mini-T-Rex infestation.
Hey, geckos are cool. They keep the flies down. IME of living in gecko filled houses, the important thing to remember is to look before you piss, as they sometimes go looking for a drink... Otherwise, they're good to have around.
Geckos I'm totally fine with, although I don't love it when the cat gets the tail off one and it wiggles, disembodied.
The worry isn't the geckos themselves, but their food source, as noted in 47: "If you have geckos, you have insects of some type."
Semi-relatedly, a squirrel family has taken up residence in my chimney. I'm not sure whether this is something I should be concerned about. We don't use the fireplace, although we theoretically might some day.
If you used the fireplace, I'd think the squirrels would move quickly. Of course, if squirrels can live in your chimney, you'd likely burn down your house if you used the fireplace before cleaning the chimney.
I'm pretty sure I don't need swarms of geckos to alert me to our swarms of insects.
I thought that if you lived far enough south, you had to pick between swarms of insects or toxic chemicals. Not that you can avoid them completely in the north, but except for the stupid stink bugs, my insects stay in the basement where the spiders and millipeds eat them.
I'm not sure whether this is something I should be concerned about.
I'm not sure what latitude you live at (or what your pseud is, or anything), but you should be worried if you have any insulation in your loft or in your wall cavities, because the little bastards will tear it out to make nests, and then their population will increase on a geometric curve until you have no insulation left.
54: If they are in the chimney, he doesn't need to worry about his insulation, but I certainly agree that you shouldn't ignore squirrels in your house.
54 doesn't sound good. How do I get the squirrels out? Mousetraps baited with nuts? Maybe I just need to have the chimney professionally cleaned.
56: Yes, get a professional cleaner, especially if you've never had it cleaned since you don't know when. And have him put a bars on the chimney.
They make squirrel traps, but you can't use a mouse trap as it is too small. You might be able to use a rat trap, but I've never tried.
56. IME, you get a man in. You could try poisoned grain if there are no benign animals around to eat it, but it's not guaranteed to work.
60: You should clarify that the poisoned grain is for the squirrel.
IME, you get a man in.
How do you get rid of the man? Is this where the poisoned grain comes in?
Obligatory monkey link: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7055625.stm
[Deputy mayor of Delhi] SS Bajwa suffered serious head injuries when he fell from the first-floor terrace of his home on Saturday morning trying to fight off the monkeys.
The city has long struggled to counter its plague of monkeys, which invade government complexes and temples, snatch food and scare passers-by.
The High Court ordered the city to find an answer to the problem last year.
One approach has been to train bands of larger, more ferocious langur monkeys to go after the smaller groups of Rhesus macaques.
Of course. If you have a problem with fierce monkeys, the obvious solution is to acquire more, larger, fiercer monkeys.
Brock: you should get hold of some cobras and let them take care of the squirrels. Then you can use a mongoose to get rid of the cobras.
HTML fail - the quote goes from "Deputy" to "macaques".
When will people learn to wear basic climbing harness before they try to deal with the monkeys?
I remember reading somewhere once when I was a kid that kids somewhere in SE Asia (Vietnam, maybe?) tied strings around geckos and lowered them from roofs to steal the hats off passers-by. So look at the bright side here. You don't have a plague of geckos, you have a cornucopia of hats.
I very much want my own gecko, now.
66: a similar trick was used in 18th century theatres, except using kittens to steal wigs.
I very much want my own kitten, now.
The good thing about this is that even if your wig-thievery plan fails you still have a kitten as consolation.
People will give you kittens, often for free. The kittens can eat free geckos and when the kitten gets too big, just take them back to where you got them.
I very much want my own gecko, now.
Excellent. [makes a finger tent]
I feel it should be said, ajay, that you have been reliably cracking me up for some time now. Keep up the free entertainment, please.
The squirrel infestation has reached PDBS.
Fleur noticed a few days ago signs of one or more squirrels in our basement (specifically, acorn shells on the washing machine and bits of chewed up insulation). I just had a confirmed sighting of the little varmint.
I had to shovel six feet of accumulated snow and ice off of the bulkhead door to open it. Now I'm hoping the little bugger will be enticed to escape to the sunlight. But I have a feeling I'm going to need to go get a trap before this is over.
On the bright side...
Heebie-geebie, from a quick check - they're not warbler, house sparrow or wren eggs. They're the right colour for pigeon but too small. If you've seen any birds around your house (I don't even really know what the common birds are in your area and in Texas (is that right?), there can be some weird birds), I can make more checks.
I don't even really know what the common birds are in your area and in Texas
Lady Birds.
YOUR MOTHER WAS COMMON.
even if your wig-thievery plan fails
Wig-thievery is what you embark on after lulling the masses into complacency using wig-history. After it all goes to hell you let loose wig-fascism.
Libya, wtf?!
Although there's something very nice about lines like: "it [the border] is currently in the control of people's committees"
"it [the border] is currently in the control of people's committees"
Giving Arizona ideas, eh?
79: WTF is right. Apparently there's a call out there for US military intervention. Um. Can we not? Uhhh, is there another approach?
I'm starting to wring my hands over things, both domestic and foreign, to tell you the truth (not that it's all about me, obviously). Thank fucking god we don't have a Republican US president, at least. We really need to make sure we don't as of 2012 either.
79: I assume that is mainly in the east? Unlike Tunisia and Egypt there is not a notion of a historical Libya and my understanding is that Cyrenaica in the east has been the least comfortable under Tripoli.
it [the border] is currently in the control of people's committees
-Giving Arizona ideas, eh?
There's a joke here (that I'm too lazy to construct) about the Union of Soviet Socialist Republicans.
Something about how it sounds both evil and oxymoronic until you remember what "NSDAP" stood for, after which it only seems evil and moronic.
If you've seen any birds around your house (I don't even really know what the common birds are in your area and in Texas (is that right?), there can be some weird birds), I can make more checks.
We haven't had any birds in the house, but maybe they're happily entering and exiting the attic. In which case, no harm no foul. (No foul! Just for you, Stanster.)
So you think they're bird eggs? Because they look more crumbly than leathery? I wasn't sure if leathery would still seem very leathery on such a tiny egg, (let alone just based on the picture.)
"Leatheriness" might also give way to "crumbliness" after a bit of baking in the attic.
I'm going to go a short way out on a limb here and say they are not bird eggs (from size and the look of the "nest"). I'll even go further out on a limb here and say they are Mediterranean (translucent) Geckos. Apparently they (and some other geckos) independently developed a hard calcified egg.
Mediterranean Geckos have a long breeding season of about 4-to-5 months. Each adult female may lay several clutches of 2 hard-shelled eggs per year. Eggs are often laid in communal nests*. Eggs are about ΒΌ inch long and are initially soft-textured, but harden quickly.*From the picture it looks like some had hatched and others were intact, correct?
I vote for reptile eggs, though I know next to nothing about these things, and I'm not sure I'd be freaking out about the eggs.
Why were geckos ruled out again? Per 50, there would be a potential insect issue there, I guess.
On preview, JP beat me to it.
my understanding is that Cyrenaica in the east has been the least comfortable under Tripoli.
Apparently, it didn't help that Sennusi hails from there, so Gaddafi has never exactly been falling over himself to do things like develop the region.
Er, "hailed" would be more accurate, I guess.
and I'm not sure I'd be freaking out about the eggs.
You were rather hunky-dory about the snake in the closet.
The thing about the geckos is that, while this area is covered with geckos, Ms. Queen Gecko would be seriously distended by carrying one of those eggs.
Oh, are they leathery? I missed that in the excitement of researching. Then I agree with lizard of some sort. I was kind of leaning towards a garbage pile some mammal left after they raided a bird nest. Which would be bad/worse.
91: Nature making reproduction hurt for the female? Unpossible.
gravid gecko pic: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/__Dq5_ABpFrs/SkByP5-J79I/AAAAAAAAHw0/r6JuXh0C2aI/s1600-h/Cat-eyed+Gecko_Fraser's+Hill_200609_IMG_4542.jpg
91: This is apparently a photo of a gravid female Mediterranean gecko with two eggs. As you can see they do seem to occupy a fair bit of interior space, but you're in a better position to judge the comparative size of eggs and animal
but you're in a better position to judge the comparative size of eggs and animal
No kidding! I mean have you seen the pictures of Heebie gestating? Like she was smuggling a Ming vase in there.
Oh, are they leathery?
They don't seem to be leathery, but I'm just basing that on the photo in 29.
Good point, all, about the distension of reproducing women.
The distension may be required, but sun screen will avoid the leathery issue.
And a son screen (or daughter screen!) of suitable material can make the whole process statistically unlikely.
My feet are leathery, but not in the way that would help make a nice sofa.
100 Bad flashback to the one orals question I flubbed "Discuss Gombrowicz's use of 'sonland' vs. 'fatherland' in Transatlantyk. Oh well, we were allowed one 'give me another question' and this was towards the end. But I literally didn't understand it until he said 'synczyzna vs. ojczyzna'
73 has made my morning. (glows with pride)
Wig-thievery is what you embark on after lulling the masses into complacency using wig-history. After it all goes to hell you let loose wig-fascism.
Well, that's one wig-interpretation, sure.
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Timesink: how brainlessly clicking a mouse button can consume ten minutes before you know they're gone.
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