Re: A great post-coitus conversation piece

1

Embroidery=scratchy


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 11:29 AM
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When I first glanced at them, I read the "USD" next to the price as "USED".


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 11:32 AM
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3

2: Waste not, want not.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 11:35 AM
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4

Notice the seller is in Austin......

I think we know who is making these.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 11:36 AM
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Embroidery=scratchy

That's what I thought at first, until I noticed that there are both 'decorative' and 'functional' tidy cloths.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 11:44 AM
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There used to be these little, plain, nigh disposable towels for 99c at Ikea that seemed like they had to have been designed as, what are we calling them?, tidy cloths. It goes without saying we made up Scandinaviesque obscene-but-for-the-umlaut names for them.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 12:17 PM
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6: Spüj? Såntørüm?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 12:20 PM
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8

We were less creative but spüj for the win. As a name I mean. I mean nevermind.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 12:26 PM
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9

Newman's Art Blog. Via the very wrong jwz.org.


Posted by: Charlie | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 12:30 PM
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10

NSFW, of course. Sorry about that: I'm at at home already but you might not be.


Posted by: Charlie | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 12:35 PM
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11

Yep. That brought a swift end to that thread. I'm available for hire, incidentally.


Posted by: Charlie | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 1:01 PM
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11: I'm available for hire, incidentally.

Are you soft and absorbent?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 1:03 PM
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Will Arnett's 30 Rock gay corporate shark Banks, on having children: "I was trapped in a world of wet wipes and rectal thermometers. Then the babies came along and changed everything."


Posted by: k-sky | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 1:07 PM
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Embroidery = scratchy indeed, and don't seem like they'll hold staining well. Not going to use something that costs >$10. I suppose it is handy to have them clearly marked, though I find color coding works just fine.


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 2:35 PM
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15

I feel like I should be ashamed to admit that I have no idea what these are supposed to be used for.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 2:43 PM
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16

Wiping your bean thing.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 2:44 PM
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17

15: "Hand embroidered cum rags" isn't sufficiently descriptive? You did have your kids via the normal process, right?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 2:47 PM
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18

the normal process

Considering what we know about Urple's diet, I'm suddenly disturbed by this concept.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 2:50 PM
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17: it wasn't sufficiently descriptive the first time I read it, but I think I may have figured it out now.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 2:56 PM
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20

I don't really know exactly what 18 means, but I'm offended.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 3:02 PM
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21

I don't know exactly what 18 means either.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 3:03 PM
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12: I am nothing but firm in all the important places, and not soft, excuse you very much.


Posted by: Charlie | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 3:04 PM
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15: Maybe the low spelling of "come" threw urple off.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 3:19 PM
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I am guessing at the embroidery, but I hope they come in days-of-the-week sets, possibly with suggested activities and Holly Hobbie bonnets.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 6:10 PM
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No, it's just that I didn't realize many people, um... did... that... with any sort of regularity. So I misunderstood the idea.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:11 PM
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25 to 23.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:11 PM
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27

urple uses a generous dousing of citrus degreaser to keep the linens hygienic.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:18 PM
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I believe in Urple's confusion on this issue as much as I believe in the nose stuck in the elevator door story tooth fairy.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:21 PM
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29

Urple, surely in most cases "that"= "mitigate the natural consequences of sweet sweet lovin coupled with gravity." not necessarily the more uh hydraulic(?) displays.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:21 PM
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30

Eventually, the couch becomes saturated, and thus rendered infirm, it is sent to a special farm for old, jizz-stained couches.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:23 PM
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31

I don't know about urple, but do people really keep cloths specifically for this purpose?


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:25 PM
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32

I always thought the concept of the "cum rag" was strictly related to masturbation, so I share Urple's confusion.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:30 PM
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33

Despite having had three longish-term relationships (4-7 years), such that you'd think I'd have heard of this, I'd never heard of a dedicated cum rag in those terms until a few years ago. It hadn't particularly occurred to me. You'd just use, well, whatever, I guess I thought. And then throw it in the wash.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:32 PM
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My wife goes to the bathroom after sex. I thought this was pretty common. I guess a hand-towel would work instead; I'd just never heard of that method.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:32 PM
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Or, what 31 said.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:34 PM
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36

Exactly! Ideally, a warm, clean washcloth in the hands of your loved one, but a t-shirt or whatever would do. A dedicated linen seems so...bourgeois.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:35 PM
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37

A dedicated linen seems so...bourgeois.

It seems fastidious.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:40 PM
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38

I doubt dedicated linens are common. Modern laundrotechnology allows one to multipurpose cloth items.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:46 PM
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39

Fastidious? Call it what you will, but a gentle cleansing wipe is a nice thing for my dick or my rod or my Johnson. It's the notion of a dedicated cloth that's bourgeois, leading as it inevitably will to a market for artisanally-crafted pads of virgin cotton gathered by virgins.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 8:58 PM
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40

For what it's worth, I was understanding the cum rag to be used for masturbation clean-up, not post-coital. When I heard of this a few years ago, I just figured this was something I hadn't particularly thought about, since I wouldn't have been there at the time anyway.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:00 PM
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40: No, that's what I meant: the dedicated cloth seems fastidious. Except! That if it's to be used for private masturbatory exercises, I can see how a person might wind up with a dedicated cloth or two. I think.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:05 PM
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42

Everything else is just a cum rag.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:07 PM
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43

Allow me to suggest "having socks" as a euphemism for masturbating.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:34 PM
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44

Having embroidered socks.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:39 PM
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45

In days of old when knights were bold
...


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:45 PM
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46

this really is an area in which disposable baby wipes excel.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:46 PM
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47

Darning socks.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:47 PM
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48

Hand-stretched socks...laydeez.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 9:52 PM
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49

Rubbing against grandma's dirty gardening bootshouse slippers?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04- 5-11 10:01 PM
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46: "disposable baby"... is that what the kids are calling it these days?

And you should really save your excel file before making the disposable baby, lest it be "wiped" by aforementioned mechanical interference with the keyboard.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 12:18 AM
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this really is an area in which disposable baby wipes excel.

Yeah, maybe this marks me as an enemy of the enviroment, etc., but I've always found the idea of the washable cum rag, as with the washable hankerchief, kind of icky. I mean, unless you have a huge number of such, you're throwing them in the washing machine with lots of other clothes, right? And then... everything else gets bodily-fluid cooties!

You can tell I'd be great with infants and diapers and all that.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 5:55 AM
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52

You can tell I'd be great with infants and diapers and all that.

Also, dishwashing by hand seems right out. And showering using bar soap. And having your naughty bits attached to the rest of your body.

Seriously, germophobes, seek perspective. There's poop inside you.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 5:57 AM
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53

There's poop inside you.

It's impolite to mock the constipated, AG.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 6:46 AM
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54

aaah. That is why Stanley keeps those baby wipes by his desk.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 7:34 AM
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55

I mean, unless you have a huge number of such, you're throwing them in the washing machine with lots of other clothes, right? And then... everything else gets bodily-fluid cooties!

What do you do with your underwear and sheets?


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 7:40 AM
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What do you do with your underwear and sheets?

Sell them, of course.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 8:43 AM
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I suppose that the extension of all of this merchandizing is that you won't be considered serious about sex until you have a towel ring mounted to your bed frame.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 9:57 AM
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58

Also, I believe the legislature is considering mandating helmets.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 10:00 AM
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59

And goggles.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 10:23 AM
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60

Personally, the goggles I wear for fun.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 10:24 AM
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57:

Only the bed frame? Attached to the front door, in the kitchen, on your bike, etc.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 10:26 AM
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61: But you wouldn't need one at the pool. Snap your hips!


Posted by: Di Kotimy | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 2:12 PM
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63

Is "serious about sex" really the vibe that most people are aiming to give?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 2:16 PM
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Only the ones who have already purchased their helmets and goggles.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 2:17 PM
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64: You'll want a jaunty scarf to keep those goggles clean.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 2:21 PM
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66

For some reason, I find 62 really salacious.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 2:27 PM
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67

Now picture it being delivered by Esther Williams in a fetching swimcap.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 2:34 PM
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68

67: And situationally adept body posture.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 4:15 PM
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57: I suppose that the extension of all of this merchandizing is that you won't be considered serious about sex until you have a towel ring mounted to your bed frame.

I assume this hearkens back to the thread (later deleted? or was that another one?) on having/not having condoms at the ready (something like that)? IF not it seems to be in the same vein.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 4:29 PM
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55: What do you do with your underwear and sheets?

What? Well, I try not to blow my nose in them, or masturbate into them, so there isn't exactly the same sort of body-fluid-yuckiness going on there.

I mean, I basically agree with 52 that this is irrational, but I must still be missing something about 55.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 6:22 PM
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Your underwear is going to come into at least a bit of contact with your bodily fluids. I guess your sheets could stay relatively pristine if you wear pajamas, don't sweat in your sleep, and don't have sex in your bed.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 6:30 PM
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I think the difference between the use-case-scenarios you're mentioning, as opposed to dedicated cum- and snot-rags, is one of those times where quantity has a quality all its own.


Posted by: x.trapnel | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 6:31 PM
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LB is cracking me up in this thread.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 04- 6-11 6:38 PM
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