My roommate and multiple friends were really into playing "Butt Slap" a few years ago. It's not a drinking game; you just stand in a circle and try to slap each other on the butt. Also you try to prevent other people from slapping your butt.
I like the post title; I would hate that game.
I've never understood drinking games. If you don't find drinking to be its own reward, there are plenty of other things you could be doing.
And this doesn't even lead to more drinking than without the game, which I would at least understand.
How can you possibly stand to get shitty over the course of two hours? NEED DRUNK NOW.
I do get how there'd be some glee inherent in taking a shot and then slapping the hell out of someone. But I, along with most of Unfogged, would not personally enjoy it much.
It sounds like a hitting game. As with baseball, the drinking is there to make it more palatable.
(ducks, runs)
I'm pondering what a pot-smoking equivalent to any drinking game would be, and I've got nothing. Maybe see who can pretend to like Phish with a straight face the longest? Seems too hard, though.
I like the idea of combining Jammies' brother's game with Messily's. I mean, butt slapping and drinking are each their own reward, but they would go so well together.
I recently learned that (some) scientists very much enjoy drinking games. I still find this a bit weird, although the way I explain it to myself is that they've basically always been in college.
I'm ok with the hitting but strongly disapprove of the drinking.
You could say "whoever loses drinks the bongwater."
As added incentive.
How is this technically a game?
I think there aren't pot games because either no one remembers the rules, or no one remembers the rules.
God I miss pot.
15 is...so...so....evil.
10- I think you'd need everyone to wear beer hats. Or those backpack things. Butt Slap is a two-handed game.
Also, 10 just makes me think of a room full of childishly squealing and glee. Slurred glee, but glee. It's a happy thought.
Butt Slap is a two-handed game.
There could be a one-handed variant, come on.
19: Oh, God, I couldn't follow that and I'm (reasonably) sober. That just seems cruel.
16: Can I tell you how much I love California?
I'm pondering what a pot-smoking equivalent to any drinking game would be, and I've got nothing.
I think this (from the link in 19) probably explains why there are few pot-smoking games:
Warning: If you're stoned right now and new to this game, you'll probably have to read this page 3 times before you understand it.
Which is basically what dq said in 16.
22: I think about it frequently, and I don't even live there.
I think a lot of the appeal of drinking games is that many simple games are more challenging and therefore more fun when you're drunk, and your attention narrows to the immediate task at hand. So the drinking makes the game fun, instead of the reverse. A couple of office parties ago, a crushed water bottle and a table were sufficient athletic equipment to support a tournament.
The problem with drinking games is that unless you have a population with homogeneous responses to alcohol, different people need different amounts to get optimally happy. The correct way to do it is for everyone to get adequately drunk first, and then play a game.
The best rule is this one:
"If you "space" and it's your turn, you get zonked. An average time is 10 seconds. So if it's 10 seconds into your turn and you're sitting there picking your nose and humming along to Terrapin Station, you zonk. If you have a valid reason and announce it, you can delay your roll. (Like if you're packing the bowl)."
multiple friends were really into playing "Butt Slap" a few years ago. It's not a drinking game; you just stand in a circle and try to slap each other on the butt. Also you try to prevent other people from slapping your butt.
Sounds French.
I moved here 6 months ago, and the first time I walked into a dispensary was like finding God.
The real challenge is combining Face Slap, Butt Slap, and gay chicken.
was like finding God
On the corner of First and Amistad?
27:
"Hey! ZONK! YOU ZONKED!"
"Dude!"
"You Zonked!"
"DUDE. I was...goddammit. I was this close...look, relativity and quantum mechanics, they aren't unified...FUCK, dude. FUCK. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!"
"Dude...it's your turn."
"FUCK."
And so on.
Developing the rules to 30 is the perfect match for the frustrated philosopher physicist in 32.
Combining threads, one of my friends, an American girl, would sometimes go up to quiet, unassuming boys at parties (in America) and say "have you ever been French slapped"? The boy would say "no.". She would then slap him as hard as she could in the face, and say "now you have been."
That was pretty awesome.
I moved here 6 months ago, and the first time I walked into a dispensary was like finding God.
On a scale from 1-10, how totally bogus is your "medical" need?
36:
"Doc, I'm worried that you won't prescribe me medical marijuana!"
"Sounds like you've got a case of anxiety. I prescribe you medical marijuana."
38: Dammit, I knew I was quoting something, didn't realize it was something Googlable or I would have just linked.
I am mildly horrified by this entire thread, including the descent to GUT jokes. Off to change a lightbulb.
I am mildly horrified by this entire thread, including the descent to GUT jokes. Off to change a lightbulb.
The only potting game I ever played was "How High Can You Get?" which had all the airs of a game, except for any rules or winners.
I mean, clear single winners. Obviously everyone's a winner.
I can't change, but maybe the lightbulb can.
I'm really perplexed that my brother apparently got his prescription for... asthma. Seems like smoking would be the worst possible answer there. On the other hand, he's gainfully employed in that industry, so I figure he knows enough people who know what they're doing.
36: I have legitimate, documented medical conditions for which marijuana is prescribed. I don't know that efficacy as high as proponents claim, but it's been a lot of fun trying different regimes.
36: who cares?
Come on, some of those 'scrips are funny.
43: MY GARDENERS PLAY THAT GAME ALL THE TIME
49: I don't think Heebie meant what you seem to think she meant by "potting".
48: For phobia of men in uniform? Then you could light up when they pulled you over.
Seems like smoking would be the worst possible answer there.
You'd think that, but THC is a bronchodilator.
34: It took me a minute to realize why I had a strong negative reaction to that story. I think it brought me back to when I was young and didn't have enough social intelligence to understand the difference between play/teasing/roughhousing and gratuitous cruelty. I didn't like being hit (or insulted or tickled or having some personal item temporarily withheld, &c., &c.), but also worried that if I tried to defend myself I would miscalculate and overreact, since I didn't know the rules, such as they were. I still don't.
Not that I was ever beat up or anything. I was good at getting strangers not to notice me, and my friends were pretty decent AFAICT. But I didn't understand where the boundaries were, and that scared the heck out of me.
I got really high on cough syrup in college and punched a good friend right in the face. It took three men to pull me off him and stop clocking him in the nose.
Lesson: Do not do drugs with me. Don't let me have drugs if I am with you.
Yeah, the behavior described in 34 sounds seriously assholish to me.
On the other hand, he's gainfully employed in that industry, so I figure he knows enough people who know what they're doing.
Your brother is a dealer?
56 gets it right. If that happened to me and more than zero people laughed I would just leave instantly.
I was laughing more at the combining threads bit. I didn't think people were actually being beaten? Like, beaten? Not play slapped? What's going on here?
This is like that time I ate too many brownies, then smoked because I didn't think they were working. Except there are no police. But I am confused.
Seemingly related? My neighbor just came over to tell me and my housemate, both of us standing on the front porch, that we should come join them in their back yard, because, "We're burning shit." When I pointed out that it was wet out, she said, "Yeah, we had to use a lot of lighter fluid to get it going."
This sounds not-fun to me. I'm clearly getting old.
He works on the legitimate (as far as I understand it), prescription-centric end of the growing industry in California.
I would be interested in the boundaries of female chivalry, although for obvious and unfortunate reasons that never IME makes male victims feel better.
63: I ran into this problem when I tried to help a 60 yr old man move furniture. DID NOT HELP. I mean, physically, I helped. But did NOT help.
The "French slap" joke is definitely in the "don't try this at home without professional help" category, but with precisely the right timing, context, and personality was hilarious and genuinely not assholish. It helped that my friend was a tiny, 5 foot Philippina and she was doing this to men she knew well (and wasn't in some kind of dominance game with) (and, OK, I saw this twice) while drinking.
When I was youngish, I slapped a friend lightly in what I thought was a playful way (after he had playfully bent me over a couch and spanked me, hard, in front of people) and I got a serious LECTURE about my BEHAVIOR. I have only slapped anyone since when I was trying to stop actual sexual aggression.
60: Don't let me overwrite what Robert Halford actually said. I was just sharing my own, personal reaction, based on experiences that I am quite sure are unusual.
65: I find it quite plausible that most people would react better to this sort of thing than I would.
This sounds not-fun to me. I'm clearly getting old.
Are you sure you're not getting hit on, you old grouch?
It helped that my friend was a tiny, 5 foot Philippina and she was doing this to men she knew well (and wasn't in some kind of dominance game with) (and, OK, I saw this twice) while drinking.
Oh! From 34 it sounded like she would just seek out a quiet, unassuming boy, not someone she'd met before.
61: Now that it's warm enough to go outside again, my neighbors have fires like 3 or 4 times a week. No reefer though, just cigarettes. Because they're Christians.
68: "We're burning shit" is a pretty funny pick up line.
66: Someone needs to write the goddamn manual for this stuff. I wouldn't have been able to predict whether a slap was weak, adequate, or excessive reciprocation for a spanking.
Fortunately, without trying, I somehow manage to give off "if you slap me, I will slap you back" vibes. I've actually been told this more than once. So people who don't want to be slapped, hard, don't slap me. Which so far appears to be everyone.
The penultimate sentence in 72 was intended as indicative, not imperative.
Being a real grown-up is so much less stressful. People don't slap people at work. Not even in jest.
Unless you work at a slappery or something, I guess.
"We're burning shit" is a pretty funny pick up line.
It would probably work on me.
Much better than, say, slapping me would.
75: YOU'RE GONNA LOVE MY NUTS!
I've been slapped flirtatiously. In junior high.
I feel like I've been in class and teaching when a student thought it would be funny or interesting to verbally slap me. One such fellow this semester wanted to see what I'd do if he announced, during a class discussion of gender norms and performances, that he (pointedly) rather thought if a woman teacher expected him to pay attention to her for 75 minutes, she'd better work out a lot. Because that's how the world works and she'd better take care of her body, etc. I considered whether to respond that if he'd like to be graded on how sexually attractive I find it to look at his ugly fucking face for 75 minutes, that could be arranged, but I've learned better.
I'm imagining the Slappery on the same block as the Ministry of Silly Walks.
In fact, I'm imagining they all go to the same pub after work. It's starting to get out of hand here, in my imagination.
I hope they don't bring home too much work! From the office that is. Because they work in a Slappery. And that would mean that they had to slap people at home, in their off hours. Which would be unfortunate, and painful.
76: it would probably work on me, too. Though at this point "I don't feel particularly murderous tonight" would also probably work.
This slapping thing might inform politics. Paul Ryan's plan? Palms for the poor.
Indeed, Josh Marshall has been pushing the "bitch-slap theory of politics" for a while now.
Stanley, if I haven't said it lately, I love you.
Stanley and donaquixote, sitting in a tree, b-u-r-n-i-n-g s-h-i-t.
"We're burning shit" is a pretty funny pick up line.
It would probably work on me.
I'd have to inquire about couch availability and roof height before I made any commitments.
83: This is why I could never do what you do. Because if I were teaching that class, the rest of his assignments would have been measured in sets and reps, and his exams would have been conducted with a scale and a measuring tape. And he gets a 100 if he matches the ideal female form. Since that's what makes someone worthwhile, after all...
83: Was this kid French, perchance?
94: that's a silly question. Of course he was.
I'd have to inquire about couch availability and roof height before I made any commitments.
Yes, well, I'm young and spry. I even helped a girl move today.
"Remember, your essays are due next Monday. Except for you, Billy. You will submit the logs and videos of your cycling workouts, as usual."
I've been slapped flirtatiously.
…
She moved to Tennessee.
This is country song material right here.
OT: How would one know if one had torn, rather than merely strained or sprained, one's hamstring? It's, uh, for a friend.
Other OT: Please stop leaving me messages telling me how awful I am and asking if I can over tonight. My A friend's hamstring hurts too much to come home to a baker's dozen of crazy voicemails.
96: Excellent! You be in charge of hauling the couch up to the roof, and I'll bring the matches and accelerants.
There was a fellow on the bus the other day loudly declaiming that Kobe was going to shoot himself in despair. We ignored him.
How would one know if one had torn, rather than merely strained or sprained, one's hamstring?
Is seeing a medical professional an option?
99: aw, shit. I'd tell you to drink, but then your hamstring might actually kill you in your sleep. I am v sorry about your ex, dude. I did not enjoy that one bit, and it sounds like you have it way worse.
101: Don't shoot yourself, Natilo! Everyone misses the 100 mark sometimes.
This is country song material right here.
Her family up and left right in the middle of the school year, too.
(It wasn't all that big of a deal, actually. We'd been flirting, but weren't actually friends enough for me to know she was moving.)
102: Well, it's a bit late. I'm just wondering whether I ought to bother the quacks my very nice primary care physician tomorrow, assuming that I won't lose mobility overnight. I can walk quite well, albeit more slowly than usual. Buying a compression bandage at Paragon and then ducking into a men's room stall in the Union Square Barnes & Noble to slap it on made me feel like the subject of the least imaginative Bourne Identity fanfic ever.
103: I got my broken filling repaired, though. Baby steps away from the crazy.
The really serious hamstring pulls leave you unable to walk. I pulled a hamstring, or strained it, I can't remember - it was in 6th grade - and it hurt a lot initially, but I was able to walk. Took a few weeks to recover. It was apparently fairly mild, as these things go.
Bourne bit slowly into the Double-Decker Taco. Who was he? Why was he eating this taco? Could they be, even now, watching him through the Taco Bell security system? Were they INSIDE THE TACO? Bourne dropped his half-finished meal and, gathering speed as he raced through the aisle, launched himself through the plate-glass window. He was alone again now, covered with shards of broken glass and limping through the parking lot. The warm Connecticut sun suffused his scarred body with new vigor, and he resolved to determine his identity and get some payback from the people who had stolen it from him.
8 is, I think, correct in every way. Leo is in love with Phish. As in, choice between sex and a Phish show, Phish would win. Phish would win Every. Single. Time. I'm not entirely sure why that was worthy of semi-coming out of semi-retirement to say, other than, perhaps, asshole neighbors bitching about my landscaping, and ill defined health issues, and the drinking game of how many sips of Guinness does it take to find my center? I should be sleeping.
christ on a bike, if you like drinking, and you like hitting people, just move to fucking scotland already.
re: 34
Yeah, I'm with the others who think that's asshole behaviour. I expect it'd not end well for the person doing the slapping. Teenagers are cruel when drunk, mind. You need to define some clear boundaries early on so everyone knows you are a humorless fuck who doesn't enjoy being pranked. I've known friends who've been set on fire, another friend who had waist-length hair who woke up to find it shaved off, and so on.
Some of us don't have the privilege of only living a train ride to Scotland. We keep trying to save up enough money to buy plane fare, but it tends to disappear over the course of a beer run.
I'm telling you, in context, "Have you ever been French slapped" is the funniest thing ever. I am laughing about it right now. Don't try it in the office, though.
115: The correct rejoinder would be: "You know, that seemed more like a pimp slap. I believe this is a French slap," followed by gently and daintily tapping the other party in the most cultured fashion you can muster.
Then you can have a long acrimonious debate about what constitutes French culture, cf. a certain prior thread. But you'll be drunk, so it'll be even more awesome.
if you like drinking, and you like hitting people, just move to fucking scotland already.
You mean that's not what Carnegie had in mind when he endowed all of those public libraries?
'The French call this a crochet bras avant.'
re: 117
The key thing is well-educated violent drunks. And now the threads converge ...
I'm really perplexed that my brother apparently got his prescription for... asthma.
Used to be in the British Pharmacopoeia as a specific foe asthma and bronchitis. Smoking dried rosemary helps those as well, but it doesn't get you high.
No, French slaps are actually Belgian. In French, they're called "palms vites".
I think the Finnish are getting a raw deal, here. There ought to be a "Finnish slap."
A Finnish slap would be to hit yourself as hard as you could.
I am hoping that someone decked the woman in 34 at some point. Mind you, I suppose if she was a tiny puny Filipina then "as hard as she could" probably wasn't that hard.
I wouldn't put any bets on that last. I have a class-mate -- well under 5ft, maybe about 45kg -- about whom I've had complaints from 6ft+ blokes that she hits too hard in training.
A Finnish slap would be to hit yourself as hard as you could.
Or to hit the other person as hard as you could with a branch
124: good point. Definitely needs decking then.
124: To some extent that might be a function of smaller feet/fists. For the same force the pressure at the impact site will be higher with a smaller contact patch, and presumably it's pressure that's involved in causing pain.
I rode a carousel once. How do they get the horses to stand still like that? I wonder.
Technically it's a recommendation, not a prescription, as prescriptions are federally regulated.
Chronic bronchitis is indeed one of the conditions studies suggest marijuana use can bring on - but only as a result of the smoke.
re: 128
In this case it's just good technique. She's wearing 12oz boxing gloves, so the smaller fists make no real difference. She has very crisp technique with good body mechanics, and I expect higher force-to-weight than some of the much bigger people, and also doesn't pull her contact as much as the bigger people. She might not hit as hard in absolute terms, but it's impressive/surprising nonetheless.
130: That's why some people use a Neb™-ulizer. Safer on the lungs, and it corrects your grammar, which is always nice when you're high.
130: You could always just have some toast.
"We're burning shit" is a pretty funny pick up line.
Have I mentioned? The only pick-up line I have ever been on the business end of, that I can recall, was "whatcha lookin' so sad for?" And that more than once.
I've been trying to think of a catchy 2030 PSA slogan telling teens to eat, not smoke.
OT: So, before court this morning, I walk up and see opposing counsel (who I've met) starting a conversation with another female lawyer under the mistaken impression that she's me. No actual resemblance -- she's about my height, but quite a bit younger and gorgeous.
Do I get to be flattered by the error, or do I just assume that it's a case of "all you people look alike" applied to female attorneys?
I put my thumb in a Coke bottle and now I can't get it back out and I'm starting to get scared!
Do I get to be flattered by the error, or do I just assume that it's a case of "all you people look alike" applied to female attorneys?
Maybe he's prosopagnosic!
134: Lee and I are together because she told me she was getting so desperate that men were starting to look good, and I figured I had to be at least a half-step up from that dire fate.
One day I hope to find some one who will look deep into my eyes and say, "You'll do."
140: Awww, Thorn! I'm sure you're much more than a half-step up from a man!
142: As long it's not "You'll do, pig."
(does anybody get that reference?)
144: Wasn't it, "That'll do, pig."
144 corrected: 142: As long as it's not "You'll do, pig."
(does anybody get that reference?)
145: Yeah! Somebody got it!
I knew I was getting the quote wrong, but I was trying to make the joke (?) work.
136: I am always making mistakes like that. I guess my usual mistake is the other way (assuming I don't know somebody I do know), but in my defense I only have so much attention to give.
Babe! Google tells me. I've been saying it for years, having never seen that movie. I have no idea where I heard it.
||
Heard this repeatedly on the radio a few months back and finally found out what it was:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP11r5n5RNg
>
141: "Wanna come back to my place and watch me put a popped balloon in an empty jar?"
147: That scene was in my head as the same actor shot Kevin Spacey.
149: Hurray for pig sheep dogs! Hurray for dq! Hurray for the Big G!
I've been on the business end of "you'll do" several times. I cannot recommend it.
151: Awesome! That Eeyore! What a slut!
||
Hold the phone. NYT:
The laws of the United States do not apply inside [the IMF's] walls...
Can this be true? I knew IMF employees are tax-exempt. But its Articles of Agreement, after giving the Fund a lot of corporate immunity, only say:
All... officers, and employees of the Fund: (i) shall be immune from legal process with respect to acts performed by them in their official capacity except when the Fund waives this immunity;
So what's an act performed in their official capacity? Have they decided it's anything done on the clock, allowing them to think of their headquarters as a free-grope zone?
Incidentally, I looked up whether the US had enacted this article in any more detail, and it hasn't (22 USC 286h).
|>
154: Well, I'm thinking the tone in which it is said is probably crucial.
151: We're going those stories for bedtime reading. I'm not sure I need that thought in my head.
157: Really? I can't think of a sense in which I wouldn't be deeply insulted. Even as a joke, that shit isn't funny to me.
It might be funnier in contexts other than the NYC dating scene, in which "you'll do" is about the nicest thing you can hope to hear. Everyone's too busy pretending they're really too good for each other. I cannot fucking wait to get out of this town.
So what's an act performed in their official capacity? Have they decided it's anything done on the clock, allowing them to think of their headquarters as a free-grope zone
I don't know about the IMF, but the way it works in Geneva for UN and other international organizations is that it's up to the senior management to decide, and it can be anything from blanket immunity for anything, anywhere, to narrow use of the immunity to protect employees against harassment for doing their jobs (not an issue in Switzerland itself, but it can be abroad).
Babe: Pig in The City (which is the sequel) is a genuinely great movie. The director's other work includes both Mad Max and Happy Feet.
I never saw the sequel. The first Babe was damn charming and I didn't think it was possible for sequels to be good.
159, 160: I don't know what I'm talking about. I haven't "dated" in well over a decade, and I'm pretty sure I've never been part of a "dating scene."
I do not think that the usual Hollywood dynamic, where an idea's owner hires bland technocrats to make a movie, obtains for these essentially Australian movies.
He directed the Mad Max series, which also managed the modest goal of not decaying from the initial film, actually probably difficult with larger budgets and larger egos.
God, James Cromwell in an action movie based around him taking out badguys execution style with that line would be so great. "That'll do, Pig! BLAM BLAM BLAM"
The third Mad Max was kind of terrible. In, admittedly, a pretty awesome way.
Huh. Yeah, I've heard "You'll do" in the context of everything from "I can stand to sit across from you for an hour while we drink a beer and then never speak to each other again" to "I'm pretty sure we should marry and reproduce even though I can barely stand to be civil in your presence." It also could be a heterosexual button-pusher more than a gay one, because it implies that the man goes around giving his base-line approval--you are just barely good enough to receive my attention.
It's a sore point. I look forward to moving somewhere where someone might actually say aloud that they like me, not that they don't hate me too too much.
"You'll do"
I once had a series of discussions/arguments with a friend about that one line in that one Springsteen song "you ain't a beauty but hey you're all right" and whether we would be pleased or angry if someone said it to us.
I said pleased. It seemed nice that someone would recognize my finer non-skin-deep qualities even though they did not consider me "a beauty". She said angry because it's insulting and implies being settled for. I don't think we ever reached a consensus.
168: come to Knifecrime Island, AWB. I guarantee you won't get people saying "You'll do". We tend more towards slurred drunken remarks like "you're really gorgeous... what was your name again?"
"you're really gorgeous... what was your name again?"
I say this kind of shit all the time. My soul is English.
I know this comes up like every time AWB brings up her dating life, but, seriously, who are these losers?
"you're really gorgeous... what was your name again?"
In drunken student days, someone once suddenly demanded, mid-deed, 'what's my name?'. I didn't know. She laughed it off, but I expect it was a minor black mark against me.
169: I've wondered about that line too. Also, "And I know you're lonely for words that I ain't spoken
But tonight we'll be free, all the promises'll be broken"
Actually until now I thought it was "..I know you're longing for words..." I think my version is better.
173: Honestly, it's just how single people talk here. Even when they really like each other or really feel something, everyone's trying to maintain control. So you can't express a need or a feeling. Smearcase told a funny story on FB yesterday (sorry! violation!) about asking a guy if he needed help getting a giant stroller down the subway stairs and the guy shrugs, "If you want to." Not "Sure, I need help" nor even "Thanks." But like "If that's what you're into, I guess I could indulge you in that."
172: well, exactly. Embrace your inner English person. Then get yourself on a transatlantic flight and embrace lots of other English persons.
I'll be back again someday, probably next summer, and I'll make an effort to sample the local produce.
In drunken student days, someone once suddenly demanded, mid-deed, 'what's my name?'
At first I read this as her actually having forgotten her own name.
re: 180
Heh, no. I got it sort of right, and in my defense I'd heard it once in a very loud club.
134: How Eeyore gets laid!
You would not be the first to make the comparison.
"It's probably on your student ID card. Let's have a look."
The story in 177 affirmatively enrages me. I'm not sure why.
183: You've mentioned it before. I don't think you are particularly Eeyoresque in your commenting.
134: Tigger, on the other hand, just asks people if they want to Bounce.
189: Pooh asks, "Can I come over to your place and lick your honey?"
(sorry Moby!)
I'm better in writing than in person.
186: I found it at once profoundly dispiriting/off-putting and, well, funny enough that I knew I was going to post it later on facebook. I was sufficiently stunned or naturally slow that I went ahead and helped the guy instead of saying, as I should have, "I was just being polite. Enjoy your ride on the subway" and flouncing down the stairs. (Can you flounce on stairs?)
"Hmm, eleven o' clock. Just about time for a little something."
186: because the guy was affirmatively a dick? It is funny, though. I'm taking it to natural extremes, like said to a subway hero - "I mean, yeah, shield my body from a train with your own, if you want. Like, if that's your thing. I'm just gonna lie here with a bored look on my face."
191: I think stair flouncing is only slightly more sophisticated a technique than the floor flounce. I know a number of masters of the stair flounce. It's easier going down than up, of course.
177, 186: I'd think something like "It's not like carrying your stuff would slow me down any more than being stuck behind you, so I might as well."
I mean, I don't know the logistics of that incident or anything, but it reminds me of people blocking walking on the escalator on the metro here. Maybe they have suitcases too big for people to walk around, maybe they have strollers or wheelchairs, maybe they just aren't aware of the social convention of walking on the left and standing on the right.
One time I saw a guy holding a wheelchair on the metro and a teenage girl on crutches standing below it. I hope all the elevators at that station were broken that day, because if that family could have taken an elevator but choose to use an escalator in that situation, then christ, what a bunch of idiots.
Oh, further to pickup line story, something I have definitely heard more than once in a bar setting, presumably intended, however idiotically, as a come-on...this was long enough ago that when asked where I was from, I would say Texas without dithering about it. So he says "where are you from?" and I says "Texas," and he says with a clumsy, abortive leer, "I hear everything's bigger in Texas!"
I have long wanted to go back to that moment and say, deadpan, "yeah, except for my penis" and see what he did.
How many rounds of this game does it take to go from slapping to closed fists?
196: What about "Especially my asshole"? Too much?
I'd like to think he had a line prepared for every state.
Smearcase, take off work and come hold my haaaaand.
167: The third Mad Max movie makes Burning Man possible. You don't need to go to the desert to take drugs and have inappropriate sex, after all. People make the trip for one reason, and one reason only.
I think "too much" is exactly what I should have gone for but I rarely go in for the kill in these situations. Which is sort of fine--more fun to tell stories about it later.
AWB: I'd love to but this entire week has been me slipping out for this or that or coming in late. Go a few hours later!
I'm actually more afraid of getting bored/awkward during my tattoo than being in pain.
People make the trip for one reason, and one reason only.
And that's Jim Morrison.
Thunderdome is a thing at Burning Man.
208: I'm sure you will in fact be okay. I was really shocked at how little my first tattoo hurt. Of course, I got it on the bicep, and I hear that other areas of the body are significantly more sensitive.
It's the ribcage, which I hear is the worst. But it's going to look neat, I think.
It's the ribcage, which I hear is the worst.
I'll bet the taintoo is worse.
shocked at how little my first tattoo hurt
Mine too (between the shoulder blades).
Bicep wasn't bad, chest hurt a lot. Solid fields of color require much more investment than line drawings.
A friend who was tattoo'd basically everywhere -- it was a 'thing' he got into, late teens -- used to say his feet, shins and head were the sorest.
I bruise like a peach, too, so it's going to be a bloody swollen wreck for a while.
Deutsche Nachwuchsforscher kann eine Juniorprofessur leicht in die Sackgasse führen. In den USA dagegen winken feste Stellen und gute Gehälter.
Professor rather than unemployed Article blurb on the current front page of Der Spiegel. Go west young academics, the academic job market in the US is great and the pay is even better.
Yeah, i've heard shins are pretty bad -- anywhere close to the bone, basically. Which sucks 'cause I have a good idea for all-around-the-leg tattoos that I'd like to get, but I don't know if I want to commit to it before I figure out if I can stand it. Given that my tattoo artist is a close friend, I could probably negotiate with him to tattoo me while I was drunk, which I think he ordinarily refrains from doing. But I dunno, that seems like cheating.
I bet it hurts less than a Brazilian.
Even a small Brazilian can punch surprisingly hard.
219: From Wikipedia: As of 2010, Der Spiegel was employing the equivalent of 80 full-time fact checkers, which the Columbia Journalism Review called "most likely the world's largest fact checking operation".
I suppose everyone has an off day sometimes, but this sounds more like an industrial action.
I'm led to believe you shouldn't drink before a tattoo because it thins the blood and makes the color weak and spotty.
...because otherwise, believe me, I'd get blotto in the grotto.
I've got a tattoo that I'm planning to get over the future mastectomy scars. I assume tattooing scar tissue hurts like a bitch.
220: Don't do it! As far as I understand, the reason tattoo artists don't ink while their clients are drunk (other than regrets, etc etc) is that the alcohol thins the client's blood, leading to a lousy looking tattoo.
I got my first tattoo in between college and grad school when I was in Poland. Except that my language skills didn't include measurements, so communicating the desired size of the tat with the artist involved finding a comparably-sized object. In other words, my tramp stamp is precisely the diameter of the bottom of a medium-sized McDonald's cup.
I'll be getting my second tattoo the day after my PhD defense (which, gods willing, will occur on July 15).
The third tat will be for tenure. I go for piercings for less significant professional events (becoming ABD, publishing first book, etc).
I am a dork. And not a beauty, but hey, I'm alright.
the reason tattoo artists don't ink while their clients are drunk (other than regrets, etc etc) is that the alcohol thins the client's blood, leading to a lousy looking tattoo.
This sounds dubious. Alcohol doesn't thin the blood.
Although alcohol promotes surface vasodilation (which is why your face flushes), and that would probably make you bleed more during tattooing, which would be bad too.
used to say his feet, shins and head were the sorest.
All of my tattoo ideas are for the soles of my feet :(
Professor rather than unemployed Article blurb on the current front page of Der Spiegel. Go west young academics, the academic job market in the US is great and the pay is even better.
I guess it's possible it seems that way from the German perspective, but what a rosy picture!
"Sogar nach meinen Hobbys haben sie sich erkundigt und mir gleich ein paar Angelplätze in der Wüste gezeigt."
Uh huh.
I have tattoos on my belly, on my shoulder, and on my head behind my ear. The first two didn't really hurt much at all. The last one (which is actually three small filled-in ones) felt like someone was drilling into my skull and I might have cried a little bit. It was still worth it though; those ones are my favorites.
I have no tattoos, but I bruise easily.
Ladies.
You are now, officially, flourishing. (That thing is a flourish, right?)
He flourishes his cane that way, yes.
Not painful at all except a few little spots where he was filling in a bit. But that was just a few seconds at a time. A coochie wax is worse.
Over the ribs hurt most. But a lot of it just felt like getting scraped with something kinda hard. No big whoop. No tears or moans of pain, just a few moments of lip-biting.
233: First in the history of the world to have gotten that particular tat? I'm thinking, probably yes.
237: just a few moments of lip-biting.
"What part of don't touch the tattoo artist didn't you understand?"
Oh probably not. Surely some 18c nerd has thought of this before.
It's pretty big. I was worried if it was too small it would look out of scale or weeny. It's a bold flourish without taking over my whole torso.
The guy who did it was awesome. He's very sweet and calm and sang Smiths songs under his breath while he worked.
Is it discreetly enough located that you can put up flickr pictures when you're healed up?
How did you explain what you wanted to make sure you got it? Did you give the artist a template to work from or just talk it through? I've been watching Carl Zimmer's collection of scientific tats grow for a while and thinking about the possibility of total disaster due to miscommunication.
242: I think I can cover the boob enough to post pictures when it heals. It's not obscene.
244: I showed them the book, and they photocopied it, blew it up to the size I wanted, and made a transfer. He applied it once, and I said I wanted it a little higher, so he applied it again, and then traced it. It was really easy for them, and probably a waste of their creativity; these guys like to design, I think. But they agreed it was a great design already.
It was also really important to me that it looked just like it does in the book because the author drew it himself.
Now if we can just find out how urple's balls are doing.
I was there when Bave got his done and it was basically the same process. He showed a picture, the guy drew it up slightly differently to make it fit the spot, and made a transfer. So you get to see the outline of it on the place before they go ahead with it.
247: Didn't you sign up for the twitter feed?
243: Done, and thanks for reminding me -- I hadn't set it up since we changed servers, and I'd missed a couple of emails.
I hadn't set it up since we changed servers, and I'd missed a couple of emails.
Boy, it's a good thing this exchange happened today, and not yesterday, prior to which mail would've been inaccessible. (There was an apparently spontaneous server reboot a few weeks ago, and it turned out that I never arranged for postfix and other mail-related services to be started automatically, and port 110 was still blocked on the firewall, whose state hadn't been saved. All better now, though!)
It's not obscene.
There goes my motivation to get a flickr account.
245.2 Wow. Technology. Now I want to read some Sterne fanfic about a tattoo parlour.
This is some kind of intense tattoo.
254. Yes, that must have been a long afternoon.
Those thin lines don't hurt as much as the thick areas. I do like that one.
238, 240.1: Via my mad research skillz (rhymes with doogle) I've changed my mind. Here's another nice Sterne one being contemplated. And here are some, generally more literal, literary tattoos.
257: I have actually seen that Sterne one done. It really doesn't seem as obvious a choice as mine, so I'm surprised that it is more frequently undertaken.
I'm going to get a tattoo of either the all-blank pages from Tristram Shandy, or something by Mallarmé.
Or one of Cégeste's poems from Nudisme.
257.Link(end): I'd prefer something from Zork.
245: probably a waste of their creativity; these guys like to design,
My friend, the tattoo artist, actual geeks out about fancy pinstriping designs, like you'd see on hot rods or something, but just drawn.
No accounting for taste, I guess.
I'm going to get this as a tattoo this year.
Looking through my dude's work, it mostly seems to be cartoon ladies holding guns while almost showing their vaginas, but they're particularly pretty! I bet they have nice personalities.
In the category of less literary fiction, this one is just puzzling. All that work and that's is what you end up with.
Every time someone brings up the issue of meanings and tattoos, I remember this post from the Diary of Indignities.
Every goddamn tattoo you see on those shows is so fraught with meaning I expect the skin holding 'em up to implode under the metaphorical load. It's always, "This tied-up naked lady represents female empowerment," or, "In Mayan culture a one-eyed frog with bat wings symbolizes wisdom," or, "This way whenever I look at my tattoo I'll always remember my dead baby." Holy shit, are you really in that much danger of forgetting your dead baby? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd do a fine job of remembering Devo without my (totally sweet) new tattoo.
268: Theodore Dalrymple wrote a more-than-usually dyspeptic essay in his unending series on why he hates the British working class, the kernel of which was the gulf between the pride that the men whom he encountered as a prison physician took in commemorating their offspring with tattoos and their incredulous reactions to the suggestion that they support said offspring financially, at least.
The documentarian Blair brothers set the bar for tattoos very high in their documentary about Indonesia, Ring of Fire: freehand symbols of "Aping, the tree of all life," administered with nails and char-ink by elderly women, in the jungles of Borneo. [See around 2:40 in the linked video.]
264: You've got the serve the market, I guess.
