A fuse started to light up inside me. As he starts to move his cart back to the right side of the lane, I throw my shoulder into him and knock him off balance. He says "hey" but in a very non-threatening way, so I glace back and he looks away.
This was my favorite.
I give him five years before he's waving a rake and yelling about kids in his yard.
I then ask myself, "What will these people do when civil unrest and social breakdowns occur in the not so distant future?
The unrest hits so quickly that no one has time to close a quotation.
3: I was really surprised when he revealed he was only 30. I figured he was already part of the get off my lawn generation.
Also, I wouldn't mind visiting a "cereal isle." Do you think the cereal boxes grow off of trees on the island?
2: I really love that line a lot.
I give him five years before he's waving a rake and yelling about kids in his yardchoking his coworkers.
Why does my filter at work not allow me to view this rant? Have these web-filters gotten so sophisticated that they can detect excessive stupidity?
Maybe they just block craigslist so you don't buy a boat during working hours.
10: Makes sense. Working hours constitute one of the two time periods in which it's very important to not buy a boat.
10: I considered that possibility, but I was able to get in to craigslist and see bikes for sale
They probably want you to see bikes for sale so you can learn 100 different polite ways to say, "My ass hurts so I'm selling my bike."
A while back I was in the grocery store looking to buy a bowl that happened to be on the bottom shelf, almost blocked by one of those little kids car cart things. The cart had a top so I could not see into it. As I reached down to pick up the bowl I came face to face with a little girl about two years old. She yelled "BOO!" and scared the living shit out of me, which caused her to burst out in peals of hysterical laughter. Her mom was completely oblivious. It made my day.
11: The other being non-working hours?
I think a kayak is a reasonable item to purchase during non-working hours.
Plus, after the oil runs out and social breakdown starts, I want to be able to loot stores that aren't within walking distance.
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Are websites that sell term papers to students now using spambot technology to generate untraceable papers? I have a paper from a student that reads exactly like it was produced by a spambot.
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Maybe spambots are teaching those Kaplan classes now.
18: That's what you get for assigning a paper on banking in Nigeria.
I first made the observation as a joke: this paper is so bad it could have been written by a spambot. But now I'm really thinking that it might have been written by a spambot.
Or write a long rant about it on Craigslist.
The pattern of mistakes is consistent with the student constantly using a thesaurus and not looking up the words the thesaurus recommends in a dictionary. But it is so persistent, it really seems like a machine is doing it. For instance, he keeps referring to end of life decisions being made in consultation with physicians and "utilities"
The court did fall short by letting the utilities and their physicians intercede if they were compelled, but did leave the family open to solicit a doctor that would act on their wishes.
This is usually is concert with pre- set terms of diagnoses instead of personal liberties, moreover decided by attending physicians or utilities.
It's as if the family has to consult with the electric company before unplugging the ventilator!
What's the reasonable word that 'utilities' is a synonym for? "Providers", maybe?
Another possibility is they've found an essay in another language and run it through a translation program or google translate to generate English text.
Or found it in English, and ran it through a translator and back again.
I think your comments to your student should list all these possibilities.
The vodka is good but the meat is rotten.
That looks like better grammar than I usually see from translation programs.
"Providers" sounds right. There are other warning signs for plagiarism. The paper doesn't site any material we have gone over in the course. It could easily have been written for another course or as a generic euthanasia paper.
Or found it in English, and ran it through a translator and back again.
An innovative, yet entirely pointless, approach to plagiarism detection prevention.
"You can't prove I copied this essay!"
"Maybe, but that I can prove that it is gibberish."
28: They do.
I should move on to the next paper, but this is bugging me. Even if this paper was not created using these tricks, I'm certain some term paper mill out there is using them. The genius of it is that if no cached copy of the paper is kept, the plagiarism won't show up on turnitin.com or seesources.com. The student might get a failing grade on the paper, but they can't automatically be failed for the whole course.
If I were an unscrupulous business man, I'd set up both a paper mill and a plagiarism detector.
Just wait for his ratings of your performance at the end of the semester.
"Very interesting class! If every class is like this you have yourself a regular reader. I also think (random phrase from syllabus) is very worthwhile.
The day is rapidly approaching when decent papers can be generated completely automatically. There will be no way to prevent plagiarism because the papers will not only be reasonably well written they will also use the individual style of the student based on his or her previous work. The only way to ensure that the student is doing the work his or her self will be to make them do it with pen and paper while monitored by proctors, and to forbid any and all electronic devices.
I suppose you could require real-time keystroke logging and video of the student writing the damn thing, since they'll most likely be doing it on a computer with a camera. You'll be able to watch the thought process evolve in time, and see the concentration on the student's face. It'd be hell to grade, though. Also it'll only buy you about ten to twenty years before computing power is good enough to fake the whole thing.
There will be no way to prevent plagiarism because the papers will not only be reasonably well written they will also use the individual style of the student based on his or her previous work.
I think when that time comes, we will just all be replaced by machines.
Oh go with the pen and the proctors. How did Bertrand Russell write his exams? How did Richard Feynman write his exams? How did Barbara McClintock write her exams? I do not think they used a word processor.
Never did them any harm.
No computer can half-ass support for a conclusion as well as even the stupidest human.
31: The paper doesn't site any material we have gone over in the course.
This comment was obviously plagiarized.
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Barney Frank has introduced a bill to legalize marijuana.
Here's a link to the drug policy alliance's action center. It won't pass, but I think it's worth writing to your representative all the same.
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The day approaches quickly when decent papers can be produced completely automatically. It there no manner will have to prevent plagiarism because papers will be not only reasonably well written they will also employ the individual model of student based on his preceding work. Only manner of to ensure that student carries out work his individual will be to make them to do it with the pen and for to pack up while supervised by of Proctors, and to prohibit and all the electronic devices.
I suppose that you could need the notation of striking and the video in real-time of student writing the rotten thing, since they the most probably does it on a computer with a camera. You the can observe the process thought of evolving/moving in time, and sees the concentration on the student face of. It is hell to be evaluated, however. Also it purchase of only you approximately ten to twenty years before computing power is enough good to fake the subject together.
Oh go with the pen and the proctors.
Money is likely to rule this out. Classes are being taught online precisely to avoid paying for buildings and people to sit in them. Also, every administrator wants to serve that new demographic, the one that for whatever reason can't get to a campus regularly during normal school hours.
There isn't much room in the current marketplace for the system of education that served Russell, et al.
It seems to me there's something in the air on the illegal intoxicant front. Only the other day Britain's only Green council announced that they were planning to introduce the Portuguese solution in one seaside town, with the connivance of the local cops. And everybody didn't go batshit crazy about it.
The pattern of mistakes is consistent with the student constantly using a thesaurus and not looking up the words the thesaurus recommends in a dictionary. But it is so persistent, it really seems like a machine is doing it
Isn't there some tool in Word now that basically does this for you?
45: If you were at Comfest in Columbus, Ohio over the weekend, there was definitely something in the air.
43 Is insightful, thought provoking, and original. A+
And it's a commonish student trick to take a stolen paper and try to make it ungoogleable by thesaurasing the heck out of it. I remember I got one once about the "travesty" (farce) The Importance of Being Earnest.
I will become a regular reader of 43 with ease.
My real fear is that machine generate writing will meet machine generated grading and the whole process will devolve into automated senselessness.
In fact, I frequently have Orwellian nightmares about bullshit completely overwhelming meaningful discourse causing the end of human society as we know it.
I frequently have Orwellian nightmares about bullshit completely overwhelming meaningful discourse causing the end of human society as we know it
Have you listened to people lately? The machines can't make it much worse.
On the OP, my favorite line: "What happened to these people? Is it the fluoridated tap water?"
Yes. It's the fluoridated tap water.
Rob Helpy-Chalk, have you read Harry Frankfurt's On Bullshit? I didn't pay attention to it when it came out, but read a reference and partial explication of it recently which gave me pause.
Yes. It's the fluoridated tap water.
That's why they only drink cola now. For the safety.
Predictive typing and search indexes allow for a lot of central control of language. My Czech spelling is rocky, but IOS devices have good but not great multi-lingual predictive typing. So I now will reword sentences to type them more quickly. Between this dictionary and search, there's central control of word choice.
54: I started to read it, but realized that it was just a very dry joke, when what I really wanted was a serious treatment of the issue. I also realized that I had just paid like 10 bucks for, like, a 3,000 word essay.
There is a volume in the Wiley/Blackwell pop culture and philosophy series called "Bullshit and Philosophy" that I've been wanting to read.
57.1: Yeah. I thought there might be more to it than that, but having looked at a couple of write-ups, it seems limited to: Bullshit operates outside the realm of the true and false, by obfuscating, repainting the scene, generating gobbledygook, and it is in that way worse than lying.
Right.
Don't sweat the march of the machines, rob. In 20 years, the only people taking courses in silly little non-marketable subjects like philosophy will be rich enough to buy ghost-written papers individually crafted by artisans who don't use thesauri anyway.
I grabbed some Wegmans brand cereal with almonds (it's really good).
Awesome; thanks for the tip!
Hateful foodies give the best advice.
Hate, brood. Not too much. Mostly rants.
I frequently have Orwellian nightmares about bullshit completely overwhelming meaningful discourse causing the end of human society as we know it.
Me too. Then I wake up and read stories like these in the NYT.
62 was actually slightly good. Doesn't make up for all the previous horrors, though!
Wegmans is a terrific supermarket; it's pretty likely that I've been to the one described. Rochester would be a decent place to be during the coming social and political collapse; near a nice body of fresh water, nice housing stock of abandoned buildings to camp out in, far from likely major combat centers. Too cold, though.
The coming ecological collapse should help with the coldness problem.
Not to mention: all the burning shit down will be a great source of at least temporary heat.
I found 37 fantastically implausible.
On the other hand, plagiarist hunting is becoming a sport. The Germans have knocked off four significant politicians this year for cribbing their PhD theses. Hint: Diff helps a lot and Wikia.com seems to be the industry standard tool.
There isn't much room in the current marketplace for the system of education that served Russell, et al.
More room than there was in Russell's day. Not sure what it was in the UK back in the late nineteenth, but most places I've seen stats for have it at 1-2% of men graduating from college.
This is exactly how I remember America, and it's what makes me shudder at the thought of returning. No, not the parade of defective people the author sees; the author himself, who is not only self-contented but proud that he knows exactly what every person in the world is doing wrong. He is fairly restrained about enforcing these rules that he made up in his own head, only committing a little mild assault, but of course that's the victim's fault, not his.
It's kind of a shame that the author doesn't have any actual problems to occupy his mind and instead has to become the self-appointed Emperor of Whole Foods.