Re: First they came for the puppies.

1

Will nobody think of the houseplants?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 6:47 AM
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How about about a "no puppies or kittens in pet stores" rule? They're not acquired from nice places, and reputable breeders don't sell through stores.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 6:52 AM
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2: I'd add any bird larger than a parakeet. If it isn't kept in a flock with space to fly, it shouldn't be kept.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 6:55 AM
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When I buy goldfish at a pet store, it's because I'm going to feed them to my turtle. I don't know whether the people writing this proposal would frown on that.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 6:59 AM
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I think that birds are exempt from the rules if you intend to eat them. I'd guess that they don't follow you home to make sure you've consumed Polly. Just putting that out there for people who want a way to keep a parrot.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:01 AM
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4: They would frown. I read the article and they aren't happy about what snake owners do with small rodents.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:01 AM
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And the pet rocks, which I understand are native to SF...

Actually, I'm more down with a ban on fish than Great Danes at first thought. Dogs and cats are intelligent enough to form some kind of bond with their humans and clearly enjoy interacting with them, besides appreciating the free snap. A well looked after dog or cat seems to me generally to be a happy beast.

Stupid animals that have to be locked up in cages or small tanks to stop them running away, causing havoc or just dying don't have a relationship with the people that feed them. Hamsters don't want to be scratched if you let them out of their cages - it raises their stress levels to dangerous degrees. Fish swim round and round, which in large mammals is diagnotic of mental distress (though we probably shouldn't make too much of this). I think my point is that if you want to take on responsibility for an animal, you should take on an animal that's bright enough to adapt to the situation, and you should adapt to it yourself, not see the creature as an animated ornament.

Hard cases: rats - bright as a button and quite affectionate, but they have to be shut away when you're not interacting with them, for safety reasons. Parrots - probably more intelligent than cats or dogs. Responsible parrot keepers give them the run of the house, but in the wild they'd fly for miles.

I'm rambling.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:03 AM
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2: The measure started as a ban on kitten/puppy mills but has since expanded.

4: The article doesn't cover that particular scenario but does address live vs. frozen rats for captive reptile consumption, with live being frowned-upon.

5: Yes, animals intended as human food are exempt.

(It's as though no one clicks through to the articles!)


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:04 AM
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Partial Mobwnage.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:04 AM
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You think pet stores are bad? I've been in grocery stores where every last animal is dead.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:05 AM
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Fish swim round and round, which in large mammals is diagnotic of mental distress

Nosflow's laps are explained by dissertation-related stress.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:05 AM
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10: You think that's bad? I've been in grocery stores where only 90% of the animals were dead.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:06 AM
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12. Are you counting the caterpillars on the lettuces?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:08 AM
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8: Yes, but I don't know if my turtle would eat frozen goldfish. I'm mostly being obnoxious. I haven't actually fed him fish since Mara moved in, since he lives in her room and I'm afraid it might both her. He just gets regular turtle food and sometimes carrots and whatnot.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:08 AM
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Stupid animals that have to be locked up in cages or small tanks to stop them running away, causing havoc or just dying don't have a relationship with the people that feed them. Hamsters don't want to be scratched if you let them out of their cages - it raises their stress levels to dangerous degrees. Fish swim round and round, which in large mammals is diagnotic of mental distress (though we probably shouldn't make too much of this). I think my point is that if you want to take on responsibility for an animal, you should take on an animal that's bright enough to adapt to the situation, and you should adapt to it yourself, not see the creature as an animated ornament.

What if you have multiple dumb animals (three hamsters, a bunch of fish) that can interact with each other?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:09 AM
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15. Much better, but they're still in jail.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:10 AM
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13: At the deli, they were feeding whole pigs into the slicer.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:13 AM
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15: Do hamsters eat fish?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:13 AM
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14: You should try feeding the turtle a frozen goldfish cut into two pieces, with the first piece named Pes and the second piece named Cado.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:14 AM
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13: I assumed he was referring to lobsters.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:16 AM
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20: I was actually trying to make a joke about a rat infestation but it was just too subtle.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:20 AM
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21: Good one!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:21 AM
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16: Hamsters have criminal temperments. It's for the best.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:21 AM
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A friend has a couple of meerkats. They are hard pets to keep. For much the same reason a chris y raises for rats, in 7. Plus, more devious and much sharper teeth.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:22 AM
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24. Are they actually legal in Britain? Or is s/he specially licensed?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:25 AM
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Hamsters have criminal temperments.

Orangutans are skeptical of changes in their cages.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:27 AM
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Hamsters have one goal in life: To die somewhere out of the way enough that you can't find them but in the way enough that you can smell them. (They also want to reproduce, thank you very much Mr. Darwin.)


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:30 AM
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re: 24

Legal, but hard to get and those few people who breed/keep them don't tend to make it easy for others to get them. My friend has a website where she talks about some of the problems, but basically they are extremely social, but don't like strangers. Need constant company, are very intelligent and have a serious bite on them.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:34 AM
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8.1: Nooo! Where will I get my puppy flour now?


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:35 AM
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27: Don't get me started on the zebras.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:36 AM
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Dammit. 30 to 26.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:37 AM
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32

Sardines have no morals.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:39 AM
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33

Unfogged: not yet banned in china. Shameful.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:39 AM
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32: They're constantly shoaling.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:44 AM
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I don't think people should keep fish in a tank unless they are going to include either an underwater castle or a sunken pirate ship.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:51 AM
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This is the end result of movies like Finding Nemo. I'm not opposed.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:56 AM
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IIRC the end result of Finding Nemo was a bunch of goldfish getting flushed.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 7:58 AM
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The fish in Finding Nemo that were purchased from pet stores were relatively sanguine about their condition, I seem to recall, and made no effort to free themselves. Even the efforts to free the title character were in service of 1. a family reunion and 2. saving that character from death at the hands of a small child. Life in the dentist's tank was portrayed as weird, but basically okay for the bulk of the fish who lived there. Also, really? What's the end result of movies like Cars going to be?


Posted by: Beefo Meaty | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:03 AM
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A bunch of cars getting flushed.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:03 AM
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I don't see the need for pet stores, anyway. Any animal shelter will have an ample supply of refurbished pets begging for homes. I hear they cut a pretty sweet deal if you buy in volume.


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:03 AM
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Would animal shelters have an ample supply of refurbished pets if pet stores weren't selling live animals to any fool?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:06 AM
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Animal shelters here will offer you your choice of pitbulls or chihuahuas, neither of which suit my taste, since I only ever love hounds. On the other hand, I'm not getting a dog, so it doesn't turn out to restrict me much.

Hadn't the scarred angel fish spent his entire life scheming to escape? And that other fish had gone nuts, thinking her reflection was her sister? It certainly wasn't a positive portrayal of keeping live animals. Don't know what Cars will lead to, but isn't it commonly held that Bambi led to a decrease in hunting?


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:11 AM
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but isn't it commonly held that Bambi led to a decrease in hunting?

Whenever my dad went deer hunting, my mom would say he was going to shoot Bambi. I've never hunted deer, but I did do a fair bit of hunting.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:15 AM
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Do falcons and other raptors count as pets? They shouldn't, traditionally, but who knows what history those crazy hippies are throwing over this time.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:16 AM
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Hadn't the scarred angel fish spent his entire life scheming to escape? And that other fish had gone nuts, thinking her reflection was her sister?
The angel fish was caught in the wild, and that other fish was a starfish, so she didn't even have a central nervous system.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:19 AM
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[S]he didn't even have a central nervous system.

Speciesist.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:20 AM
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41: I've heard that animals will... you know.. do it if left without adult supervision.


Posted by: W. Breeze | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:25 AM
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47: Around here, that only works for cats.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:34 AM
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At the deli, they were feeding whole pigs into the slicer.

"An animal that special, you don't want to eat him all at once."


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:44 AM
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Any animal shelter will have an ample supply of refurbished pets begging for homes. I hear they cut a pretty sweet deal if you buy in volume.

Unless you can get them down to less than $2 per cat, it's not going to change the conclusion arrived at here.


Posted by: Knecht Ruprecht | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 8:52 AM
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An animal shelter is more of a pass-through than a feed/fattening operation. Assuming a total lack of ethics, the only expenses would be a staff that can keep a straight face and storefront where you can't see the loading dock from the street. The actual feed and housing costs to get the cat to marketable size are sunk costs paid by somebody who isn't expecting reimbursement.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 9:01 AM
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I assume there's a codicil (little fish humor there) banning the circumcision of goldfish; elsewise the whole thing's a bit meaningless, isn't it?


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 9:06 AM
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I'm going to set up a gigantic ass reptile store just over the border in Burlingame. It will be like the Mexicali of snakes.

(actually, this is classic bay area liberal insanity: take a basically good idea, e.g., shut down puppy and kitten mills, and stupid it up).


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 9:28 AM
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At the very least, Bob Barker could start asking people to spay their goldfish.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 9:36 AM
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54: That's how you make geldfish.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 9:41 AM
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I hate myself for liking 55.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 9:42 AM
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Really, it's a situation that lends itself to proper organizing and collective bargaining. You know, guildfish.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 10:03 AM
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Please, Stanley. If you let unions in, they'll be quickly taken over by the mob and then, before you know it, everything is being run by John Ghoti.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 10:06 AM
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Soylent Green is people!


Posted by: Charleton Heston | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 11:28 AM
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gigantic ass reptile store

I'm pretty sure that there's not much of a market for gigantic ass reptiles.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 11:33 AM
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Somebody is selling a house in Pittsburgh with an 11' fish tank as a backsplash in the kitchen.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 11:34 AM
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I suppose using fish for a shower wall would have made them too shy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 11:37 AM
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An 11 foot fish is pretty big, but they're still not reptiles.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 11:38 AM
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I'm pretty sure that there's not much of a market for gigantic ass reptiles.

No, but Michael Bay doesn't know how to haggle, so you can make a decent living.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 11:40 AM
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63: If your fish has eleven feet, it's pretty darn close to being a reptile.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 11:41 AM
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¡Yo soy una luciérnaga brillante!


Posted by: Pauly Shore | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 11:45 AM
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How about just applying it to all pets in general and making it only legal to own cats or dogs if you're raising them for the stewpot. Sorry SF'ers, but our deep commitment to animal rights means you must slaughter, skin and gut Rover. Try to make sure that you get the order right.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 06-28-11 3:56 PM
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