If you aspire to be like Ben, step one is to know your verb conjugations.
From time to time, even the steadfastest of vegetarians may find him- or herself facing a backyard replete with ravenous omnivores.
The steadfastest vegetarians you know must be less steadfast than the steadfastest ones I know, because I definitely know vegetarians so steadfast that this would never be true.
1: I figured I was bound to screw something up. Maybe even many things!
But seriously, what verb(s) did I conjugates incorrectly?
The rambunctious backyard inhabitants had already risen to the occasion.
Now that that's out of the way: bravo!
rise, I think. "had already risen", not "had already rose"
I admit that at first I thought the rambunctious backyard inhabitants were going to be raccoons or some such who had stolen the tightly formed patties. Because I skipped over the "indeed" there, and because I'm obsessed by rambunctious backyard inhabitants.
8: I'm not sure what a raccoon with no hair looks like, but I suspect any raccoons attempting to climb the grill to steal the burgers would have been royally singed.
For future reference, I find that ground beef with a fat content of 20% makes for a juicy burger without falling apart like leaner burgers, or shrinking completely or seeming overly fatty, like those with larger fat contents.
I performed an arduous task of great importance today! I delivered my first talk at a (non-hacker (science-y)) conference. Not only was I not drunk, I wasn't obviously nervous. Next time maybe I'll have (1) more than five minutes, (2) actual data to report and (3) the foresight to start working on my slides more than four hours before my slot and (5) a better handle on how to add error bars to a graph.
I'm not sure what a raccoon with no hair looks like
9: But, but, the burgers weren't on the grill as yet. Maybe they were sitting out on a plate in the back yard. I thought.
I'm just in protect your food mode: groundhogs have been doing a job on the garden here. First I thought it must be deer (that was kind of stupid of me), then I thought it was raccoons (because they're serious pests around here), and now I have witnessed the critters with my own eyes, munching on ripe beefsteak tomatoes on the vine. Anyway. I'm muttering about backyard inhabitants.
No more performing arduous tasks of great importance to Bubba Smith.
In my backyard right now sits a dump truck full of dirt formerly under a corner of my house. It was sitting in some decent sized ruts a few hours ago. It is now sitting somewhat atilt with its one back wheel mired in a 3-foot deep mudhole and the other in one about a foot or so deep after a man who purported to be a dump truck driver spun the wheels for a half hour or so.
E. Messily speaks for me.
Hypothesis: the pepping-up of burgers is a well-understood process, but nevertheless somehow the norm is to just form patties and slap them on the grill, possibly out of some fetish for simplicity.
There's nothing for it but to wait for the mudholes to dry out, JP. Ommmm.
3-foot deep, you say?
the pepping-up of burgers is a well-understood process
My sainted mother, in an apparent attempt to emulate Sandra Lee, tosses in A1 and a bit of that French Onion soup powder.
17.2: I did not measure precisely. Deep; nearly the whole tire and it is big tire. On reflection maybe 2.5'.
19: You could fill in the hole in with some of that, you know, dirt.
My dad used to add bread crumbs to hamburgers -- not a lot, not to make them entirely like meatloaf, but to, I don't know, cut the fat or something? As a kid and teenager, I thought it was normal hamburger treatment.
One fears that JP's dump truck is going to have to be towed out, by a big-ass towing rig.
To give the dump truck tires some pep, sprinkle breadcrumbs around the hole. This will lead to some delightful traction that will leave your guests wanting to come back for more.
JP should dig the truck in deeper and use it as an in-ground pool.
20: Yes, many commonplace as well as creative solutions come to mind. However, I am leaving it to the contractors and the dump truck driver to assess their worthiness and execute the appropriate one. (Although the driver on his own is admittedly not off to a glorious start.) The truck can stay for awhile as far as I am concerned**; I'd just like them to get the footer poured. Protip: Only buy an old house if it was originally built for/by rich people.
*I suspect partial unloading***/winches will ultimately be involved (on preview 22 is most likely).
**The truck driver is the impatient one on this.
***There is some sort of "Dirt Exchange" and when they checked it turned out my next door neighbor who has been working on his house yard for eight years was registered and willing to take the dirt**** (and already has received one load).
**** He is uphill, so I expect I will get that dirt back over the course of the next decade.
May I ask where you have gotten to, teo?
Chillicothe in what state? I know of at least two, both plausible.
Did you do the Serpent and backtrack? Or is that for the morrow?
My dad used to add bread crumbs to hamburgers -- not a lot, not to make them entirely like meatloaf, but to, I don't know, cut the fat or something?
My mother did too. And also a beaten egg or two (as per 26). I think this used to be the norm, before grilling became more of a foodie thing. Partly for economy, no doubt: to get more burgers out of a pound of meat.
31: There are apparently five. I only knew of the one.
My Mom used to add various things, I don't remember what aside from onions and probably soy sauce, and we'd call it "Chinese hamburgers." She'd probably still make them that way, if she and my dad hadn't changed their diets to include less ground beef.
34: The Ohio one is located right in the center of the Ohio Hopewell cultural area.
38 is correct. I believe it's also the original one after which the others are named.
Furthermore, the Ohio one is where I am, which I now see is not explicitly stated in 38.
Did you do the Serpent and backtrack? Or is that for the morrow?
For the morrow, along with Mound City and other sites in and around Chillicothe. I spent most of today in Newark, then a while in Columbus. After tomorrow I'm going to start covering a bit more ground each day.
In Columbus, there was a movement to get a replica of the Serpent as decorative canopy over a bridge. It was apparently too stupid to succeed but a hockey team was somehow a good idea.
the Ohio one is where I am
Make sure to be round on the ends and high in the middle while you're there.
Confidential to Stanley:
If at some point you decide to get married, don't have a hobo wedding.
I understood that Americans had something called "hamburger helper" to raise the IQ of their patties. I learned this from Fran Lebowitz, so it must be true.
Last few times I've made burgers with pork I've added an egg and some breadcrumbs, minced onion and garlic, and also a load of berbere, which makes nice spicy burgers. I'd probably get away without the eggs or breadcrumbs with fattier cuts of meat.
45: That's to turn ground beef into a noodle dish.
Tuna Helper, on the other hand, is an environmental advocacy group working on issues of habitat and over fishing.
That's to turn ground beef into a noodle dish.
Some kind of Pastafarian sacrament?
Go too far, though, and this will turn into a patty-shaped piece of meatloaf. Japanese distinguishes between these two in its borrowed-words lexicon: hambāgā is the hamburger as we know it, and hambāgu is the kind admixed and served without a bun, the name meaning "Hamburg" as in "Hamburg steak."
Stanley@20: 19: You could fill in the hole in with some of that, you know, dirt.
Despite my semi-dismissiveness in 25, this was closest to what they ended up doing; they shoveled in some relatively rocky, shaley dirt and after several iterations managed to drive it out.