I will go to Five Guy's and just get fries and I'm not a vegetarian if I'm not hungry enough for a burger and fries.
That could have probably used a comma or some parentheses or something.
Stanley, you could not be more wrong about the fries. How did you order them? You can get them extra crispy, if you ask.
Extra crispy fries aren't potato-y enough and they don't absorb malt vinegar.
Five Guy's fries are ok if you want to eat something and not be hungry for a while, mostly because there's so much of them. Not good for much else, though. But not bad either.
I like that there's variety in fries so I hope people keep disagreeing about them and having strong opinions and stuff so you can continue to get different styles at different places. I probably used to have strong opinions about them, but honestly, this is like bagels for me: if they don't make me sick and I'm not hungry soon after, they're fine.
It's pretty clear why I'm not a foodie.
Stanley is completely right about the fries. Completely.
I agree with Stanley and ()thetical. I mostly got them extra crispy and that was just barely okay.
I've never had the fries at In-N-Out because I've never been to one.
That's the spirit! Well, except Moby. Go to one and form an opinion!
The nearest one is over a thousand miles away.
It isn't fries, but I really don't like not being near a Skyline Chili. And not just because I enjoyed asking a waitress for a four way with onions.
Fast food burger chains are pretty much boring and culinarily unsatisfying. You heard me!
I pretty much agree with 12.
But, if you want to expand your chain knowledge and happen to be in Vancouver, Vera's is a lot like Five Guys. I don't think they give you as much in the way of fries, though. There's also a Fatburger in Vancouver, which seems odd, as I don't think Fatburger is even in all of California yet, unless they just did some big expansion. I haven't been to the Vancouver one yet.
I didn't mean Stanley's post is boring; far from it! But fast food burger joints exist in a narrow, proscribed region of the food taste/quality continuum. Instead, let's discuss BONE MARROW or FIDDLEHEADS! Or um ELEPHANT SEALS.
Shake Shack > Five Guys > Habit Burger > In-N-Out.
Maybe. I have low sample sizes for most of these.
The best fast food birder is made of MOON ROCKS.
My sample size on elephant seals is even smaller.
Catholics can have elephant seal on Friday because the rules were codified before biology had gotten far.
I saw some pinnipeds* in California! But I didn't attempt to eat them. Nor they, me.
*I learned this word at one of the meetups; attend your local chapter today.
I'm biased, but I think In-N-Out as a burger beats Shake Shack handily. I agree the fries at I&O suck but, really, fuck french fries. Never had Five Guys or Habit Burger.
I thought of an ELEPHANT SEAL through the OVERTON WINDOW.
Are elephant seal the kind of seal that isn't technically a seal?
Wikipedia says I must be thinking of something else.
My sample size everywhere but Habit Burger is actually 1, so I could be very wrong. Anyway, as I have read many times on the internets, the trouble with In-N-Out's french fries is that they are not actually french fries.
We were getting prank calls from an elephant seal one night and I reported it to the phone company and they told me that the calls were coming from INSIDE THE ROOM. But no one wanted to talk about it.
There was an influential book about how a superior East Bay burger chain amassed great riches. It's called The Wealth of Nation's.
Elephant Seal is better Animal Style.
Anyway, as I have read many times on the internets, the trouble with In-N-Out's french fries is that they are not actually french fries.
Why not? I can't readily find such assertions.
I seriously dislike Habit Burger's fries, too. Like a bad version of In-N-Out.
I probably can't be trusted, though, as my favorite fast food french fries are from McDonald's.
They're actually tiny little people.
28: It built upon the earlier Theory of Moral Condiments.
27: How did it dial? Some symbiotic relationship with a bird?
30: Something about being fried once, when proper fries are fried twice at different temperatures, or something.
The problem with Malthus Burger is that if you don't get there early enough, the line gets so long they can't serve everyone.
Elephant's Eel is a not very good name for a band.
The best elephant seals are fried in caning wax.
34 Some symbiotic relationship with a bird?
With a birder, if I'm understanding the thread so far.
This is truly a fast food chain that, while culinarily unsatisfying, is not boring! Two hot dogs, wrapped in a tortilla with thin pastrami, chili and cheese! Plus, teriyaki! All served on a frisbee, with a bonus side of desperation and street hookers.
A google search for "caning wax" is informative and alarming.
39 Elephant's Eel is a not very good name for a band.
They could be part of Elephant's Icks.
LA does have some laudably nutbar fast food.
Here are some more Oki-Dog images for your viewing pleasure.
44: Was the alarming stuff on the second page or are you afraid of paraffin?
44: You also told google that no, you weren't interested in "canning wax"?
Apparently correct spelling has ruined me again.
Huh, speaking of West Coast-y things: Fat Tire is now available in ol' Virginny. So that's beer.
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This job I'm interviewing for has given me two 200+-question personality tests to complete prior to my interview. They've also given me paperwork to fill out that asks me for my starting and ending salary at every job I've ever had.
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43. I've been back one time since the last time (at cmt 13), and yup, definitely too old to digest the food.
I agree with what you say about Pinks. I've gone there a few times, but it's mostly been just a go there to go there thing, not for the hot dogs specifically.
I'm still partial to Top Dog (telegraph version, at least), but it should be no surprise that I also think Costco's sold-at-the-counter hot dogs are - what's that word? - oh yeah, fine. Some street vendor hot dogs have made me sick, so they don't quite meet my exacting criteria.
Costco used to sell Hebrew National kosher hotdogs. Now they don't. Antisemitism is on the march.
58: I was disturbed to learn on my recent, first-ever visit to Costco (in scenic Petaluma) that they sell caskets.
More of a cremation guy, are you? Figures.
I confess that I have no idea who makes the Polish sausages, which are the ones I usually get rather than regular hot dogs, that Costco sells. Also, somehow, I've never tried the food at the Costco in Richmond (BC, not CA).
60: My Catholic mother frowns on cremation.
61: Richmond (BC, not CA)
The Old Dominion weeps.
55: if only you could just tell them to fuck themselves.
I actually like In'n'Out fries, though I know they're supposed to be terrible, and—while liking them—recognize them to be not very good. Nevertheless!
I experienced Five Guys once in exciting Pocatello, ID. It was ok.
LA does have some laudably nutbar fast food.
Way to ignore the narcissicsm of small differences, Sifu.
Mobes, I'd be happy to mail you a fourway-onion, though I'm sure it couldn't live up to your hopes. And maybe they'll expand your way. I know they're all the way to Indianapolis, plus apparently Florida.
And Stanley, I'm so sad you didn't have the Pinnipeds of the World map from a National Geographic on the ceiling above your bed when you were a kid like I did. Must be because you're such a youngster.
62: Is there Costco in Richmond (VA, not BC or CA)? Because there's one in each of the other two places.
if only you could just tell them to fuck themselves
Oh, there's no chance in hell they're getting my salary history. I briefly considered telling them I wouldn't do the personality tests, but it's not worth starting a fight over just yet.
Oh hey I went to Shake Shack so I'm full of commentary. They opened one in the theater district and if you go at 6 nobody's there yet because 1) tourists aren't on their way to a show yet and 2) New Yorkers can't eat dinner before 8; it's like feeding Gremlins after midnight. So you stand in line for like five minutes (compare to Madison Square Park, average wait time: 72 years) and get your hamburger and go.
I'm actually not full of commentary. I really enjoyed my hamburger, but I had this moment two years ago where I was thinking about the two non-descript pizza places in my neighborhood and which should I walk to, when I decided there are some things about which not having much of an opinion makes life less stupid. It's probably a slippery slope to saying "oh, maybe we should just go to the new Transformers movie," but I'm willing to risk it. Anyway I may have assigned hamburgers to this category. I'm not sure.
Some years ago -- never mind how long precisely -- having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular about me that was interesting, I thought I would walk about a little and see the asphalty part of the world. It is a way I have of drowning out the voices, and regulating the masturbation. Whenever I find myself growing grimy about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my pants; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before clown shoe warehouses, and hanging around the rear of every funeral home I see; and especially whenever my meds get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically squeegeeing windshields for a dollar (just a dollar! please?) -- then, I account it high time to get to McDonald's as soon as I can. This is my substitute for peanut butter and jelly.
I decided there are some things about which not having much of an opinion makes life less stupid
Yes, this category grows and grows for me as well. From trivial things like toothpaste and fashion to important things over which I have no say like U.S. foreign policy.
When I visit New York next month I am getting Moishe's Falafel. That is all.
This job I'm interviewing for has given me two 200+-question personality tests to complete prior to my interview. They've also given me paperwork to fill out that asks me for my starting and ending salary at every job I've ever had.
AFAICT it's a common practice. Well, maybe not the personality questions but the salary thing sure is.
55: I hate that crap, because I don't remember exactly how much I was paid at each place or the name of every supervisor I've ever had.
