Re: FML

1

If you'd gotten to work earlier, you might have gotten your person sprayed.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 6:46 AM
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2

The good news is that skunks eat mice. After a week or so, once all the mice are taken care of, you just need to release a bobcat in the building to get the skunk.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 6:49 AM
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3

Bobcats love watching mice have sex, so that won't work. They'll just bring more in.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 6:50 AM
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4

Someone dunk heebie in tomato juice!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 6:51 AM
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5

Someone dunk heebie in tomato juice!

Give her a stalk of celery and we can make Bloody Heebies.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 6:53 AM
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6

How to you get skunk stink out of a building? I'm guessing you don't wash the walls with tomato juice, but maybe vinegar. I'd think the carpets and drapes (if any) would need burned.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 6:59 AM
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7

I would LOVE to know. I said "Let's call maintenance!" and everyone said "They can't do anything." But I cajoled so they should be swinging by at some point. Right now we're airing out the hallway. I have my office door closed, AC blasting and windows open.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:01 AM
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8

I'm so grossed out.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:01 AM
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9

I packed up all my stuff and wandered throughout the building, but it's everywhere.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:01 AM
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10

There are probably other buildings.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:02 AM
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11

Oudemia and apo are correct. The only way to save your office is by drinking Bloody Marys.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:03 AM
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12

It became necessary to destroy the office to save it.


Posted by: Vietnamese Skunk Correspondent | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:07 AM
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13

The only way to save your office is by drinking Bloody Marys at home.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:10 AM
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14

The good news is that skunks eat mice. After a week or so, once all the mice are taken care of, you just need to release a bobcat in the building to get the skunk.

my Uncle Sol's farm
failed because the chickens
ate the vegetables so

my Uncle Sol had a
chicken farm till the
skunks ate the chickens

when my Uncle Sol
had a skunk farm but
the skunks caught cold and
died and so
my Uncle Sol imitated the
skunks in a subtle manner


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:12 AM
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15

I use an enzyme based product called

"Nature's Miracle"

on the dogs. Liquid, guaranteed or money back, safe for use around children, removes skunk odor from well everything, odorless itself, maybe ten dollar a quart. Test color fastness, then apply full strength. Wter, Isopropyl alcohol, Nature's Enzymes, Citrus scent. Safe on most colors. Etc. Think I got it at Pet Smart. Works like a charm on dogs.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:16 AM
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16

I know that stuff - I've used it on cat pee before. Good idea.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:18 AM
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17

Oh look. We drenched the building in a repulsive quantity of perfume. Think I'll go retch now.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:25 AM
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18

We drenched the building in a repulsive quantity of perfume.

Ah, the Deadhead patchouli strategy.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:27 AM
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19

I'm so grossed out.

Ugh, yes. Skunk smell when you drive by skunk roadkill on the highway is one thing; but when you get closer to it the smell is complex and stomach churning on a whole different level.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:30 AM
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20

"Give me your stink, your odor,
Your huddled math-heads yearning to breathe free."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:30 AM
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21

Surely the brush fires will take care of it.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:44 AM
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22

We set the brush fires to chase off the bobcat, but then we had to bring in elephants to stamp out the fires.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:49 AM
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23

And then the mice to scare the elephants which leads back to the skunks, and thus is the great circle of childhood animal behavior mythology maintained.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:57 AM
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24

22 -- You silly, everyone knows you battle bobcats with grizzlies.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:19 AM
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25

First world problem. Maybe you can rinse off the smell with gold dust in your new home addition?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:19 AM
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26

You need to oxidize the sulfur atoms in the spray. Dilute bleach works quite well. (cap in a gallon of water)


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:20 AM
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27

That probably isn't enough bleach to ruin most paint. I suppose "Nature's Enzymes" is basically some type of bleach in terms of its chemical composition.

The important thing for the college is to figure out if the skunk has an ID badge or if somebody let the skunk in.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:30 AM
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28

FIRST THEY CAME FOR TEH SKUNKS...


Posted by: OPINIONATED PETA-PERSON | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:35 AM
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29

Honey Badger dont care. Send in the Honey Badger.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:37 AM
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30

27.1:No, I would not bleach my dogs. Enzymes. Safe to lick, does not change colors.

And odor "eaters" work better than maskers or perfumes.


Posted by: bob mcmanus | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:48 AM
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31

Dilute bleach better be safe to lick since they use that for food preparation items.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:54 AM
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32

One cannot help but feel that Heebie is not expressing sufficient gratitude to god for making her late to work, relative to the skunk.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 8:54 AM
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33

|| A dude I went to college with -- an all-around straight-up good guy -- dropped dead from a massive coronary on Friday. He was maybe 41. WTF kind of bullshit is that? Christ. |>


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:00 AM
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34

Obviously, I was advocating dilute bleach for the building, and it's something that people have on hand (cleaning supplies.)

But for dogs, the typical solution is a mixture of dilute hydrogen peroxide and soap water.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:01 AM
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35

One question to the OP. Did somebody the skunk leave the building?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:12 AM
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36

Try that again. Did somebody see the skunk leave the building?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:12 AM
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37

massive coronary on Friday. He was maybe 41.

Eesh. I sure do wish people would stop doing that. I'm already sufficiently unsettled that, at 42, I'm one declining grandfather away from being the oldest man left (by blood or by marriage) on my dad's side of the family.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:17 AM
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38

37: See??? When apo is the patriarch, what happens then, people? What happens then?!


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:22 AM
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39

All our L's are F'ed anyway: Skynet is taking over our spare computer cycles.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:22 AM
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40

36 is a good question. Also, what was its method of entry and what scared it enough to spray? Does you building have owls?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:23 AM
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41

I was just thinking that if nobody has confirmed the skunk left the building, it would probably be worth the cost to go buy a few stuffed skunks and leave them in the backs of closets and behind desks and such.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:34 AM
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42

33. That's a bugger. But what it is is the tail of the curve we all live on. Can it really be the first time one of your contemporaries has gone and died on you?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:35 AM
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43

Moby is an evil genius.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:37 AM
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44

All our L's are F'ed anyway: Skynet is taking over our spare computer cycles.

Skynet (a different Skynet) already has flying killer robots under its control.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skynet_%28satellite%29


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:42 AM
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45

41 would be a good idea. It would make the skunk feel less lonely and thus less likely to spray again.

Alternatively, it would make the skunk think it had wandered into the lair of some sort of terrifying Silence of the Lambs-type killer with a specialism in skunks, and cause it to run away.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:44 AM
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46

42: Well, it's mostly been tragic accidents.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 9:44 AM
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47

They're currently fogging the building. And they said "Sure, go on in! It's perfectly safe." Also they said that the skunk is still somewhere inside the building. (The spray...it's coming from inside the building!)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:06 AM
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48

They're currently fogging the building.

While you sit inside reading Unfogged?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:12 AM
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49

47: well, I'm sure the fogging will calm it down so it doesn't spray more.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:13 AM
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50

29: YOU SPELLED MY NAME WRONG


Posted by: OPINIONATED HIPPOCLEIDES | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:15 AM
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51

I recall an Encyclopedia Brown story where somebody needed to know if a skunk had left a building and nobody wanted to go around looking for the skunk. He put a line of flour outside an open door. That way, the skunk could get out unspooked, but not unmarked.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:15 AM
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52

A stuffed version would probably just confuse the skunk, as it wouldn't smell like another skunk. A quick search tells me skunk vision is worse than most mammals'.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:17 AM
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53

How would we be able to tell the stuffed animal footprints in the flour from the real thing?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:18 AM
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54

A quick search tells me skunk vision is worse than most mammals'.

Minivet was blind, but then a skunk donated its eyes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:19 AM
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55

Fogging it with what?


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:19 AM
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56

I think I'll go ask.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:21 AM
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57

Have you considered getting an attractive black cat and painting a white stripe down her back?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:21 AM
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58

55: Faulty logic, dubious facts, poor argumentation, strident ideology, rampant falsehoods, characters of ill repute and many other things harmful to one's mental well being


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:23 AM
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59

A stuffed version would probably just confuse the skunk, as it wouldn't smell like another skunk.

At the risk of being over explaining, I'll just point out that I intended the stuffed skunks to confuse the people in the building.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:24 AM
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60

55, 58 -- In a word, analogies.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:24 AM
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61

I went and found the jug of industrial strength Spic-n-span, and I took a photo of the ingredient list, although now my phone is resisting joining the network.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:28 AM
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62

Hard to read. Probably available online.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:31 AM
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63

industrial strength Spic

Totally racist, even for a Texan.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:33 AM
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64

I think it's this, which is mostly quaternary ammonium salts and solvent, etc.

Nothing to be really super concerned about, but it's not going to kill the odor (not an oxidizing agent.)


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:49 AM
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65

...just cover it up.


Posted by: Klug | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 10:49 AM
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66

57 wins the internet.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 11:06 AM
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67

It's actually very pleasant to run the AC and have my window wide open, and my door to the rest of the building shut tight. I like this combination.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 11:09 AM
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68

59: Yeah, I think I took 41 as such, but was then led astray by 45.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 11:34 AM
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69

67: But what song are you playing, "Hotel California"?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 2:38 PM
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70

I think it's funny to try to sing the guitar solo to Hotel California and pretend you really mean it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 5:28 PM
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71

Reading this over, I do hope we get an update.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:40 PM
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72

Ok: I'm at home right now where it doesn't smell like skunk.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:41 PM
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73

Me also.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-13-11 7:42 PM
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74

It smells mostly fake fragrance today. They did a decent job masking the intermingling skunky oil that was everywhere yesterday.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09-14-11 8:07 AM
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75

Do they know the skunk is gone?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-14-11 3:16 PM
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76

Someone should introduce the skunk in heebie's building to the snake in parsimon's closet.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 09-14-11 4:00 PM
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77

Unless you have a specific reason, I see no call to out the snake.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09-14-11 4:06 PM
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