Re: You filled your NEIGHBOR'S car with water?

1

Probably actually via Apo.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 7:41 PM
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"it dont make a noise when u eat it that why lil Wayne say real g'z move in silence like lasanya"


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 7:42 PM
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Oh, hey, lurkey should go by "Hustla Da Rabbit". Problem so very neatly solved!


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 7:42 PM
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Do U think he ate Linda?


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 7:45 PM
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What's the lol Wayne supposed to be; as far as I know Bennett may have rendered it correctly.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 7:50 PM
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I think Bennett heard it correctly, but missed the point because he misspelled lasagna.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 7:52 PM
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Gotta watch out for those rockwilders.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 7:55 PM
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It's amazing that he sends these texts to his 30 year old, sedate cousin.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:00 PM
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Who makes fun of him! Apparently Bennett is not put off by an occasional whiff of condescension.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:03 PM
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It's also (just) possible that it isn't real, Heebie.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:04 PM
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If it is real, eventually Bennett's cousin is going to get a car full of water.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:06 PM
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It has that certain realistic something. I choose to believe.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:09 PM
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his 30 year old, sedate cousin


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:19 PM
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14

Fuck, here.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:19 PM
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WOW. That actually explains a lot about why Bennett texts him with this stuff.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:23 PM
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Yeah and a few of the commenters are angry at the designation "internet rapper," insisting that the dude is good at it, has several albums, and a following.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:25 PM
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How many unread text messages does this guy have, anyway?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:43 PM
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14 makes the world way more amazing.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:49 PM
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And parsimon is on the other thread saying the internet is not the best thing ever. Clearly wrong. When did Post-It notes ever give us this kind of awesomeness?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:50 PM
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19: Oh man. Parsi writes some amaaaaaazing Post-Its.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:53 PM
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I have a hard time believing people are this stupid and don't write such things without a bit of irony. And now back to my One Piece and cherry vodka marathon.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:57 PM
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I think Bennett is kind of being intentionally funny. He's being shock-value, right?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 8:59 PM
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The concept of a Chinese buffet with salmon, corndogs, and brownies terrifies me. As does the concept of "oriental lasagna".


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 9:01 PM
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Racist.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 9:19 PM
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Oriental laysana sounds good.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 9:27 PM
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Oriental laysana sounds good.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 9:27 PM
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Oriental laysana sounds good.


Posted by: Will | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 9:27 PM
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The triad.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 9:29 PM
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There are two bands in town staging a rivalry-duel show in January. They're not really rivals (I play in two other bands including members of each), but they're having a laugh. It's astounding the number of people who think they're really beefing.

But, then, people also seem to think the WWF (or whatever it's called now) is real.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 9:29 PM
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OT: I would like to ban the habit of drunk texting. I wouldn't mind if some beloved friend was sending me ill-spelled updates from some crazy event or something, but all I get are passive-aggressive content-free little jabs from the woman who stood me up for plans tonight ("omg we were supposed to go out! i am such a dick!") that culminate in "but i just want to b ur friend! i hope that does not seem creepy!" Well, it would seem less creepy if you didn't make a huge deal out of making plans with me and then blow me off, and then beg to see me at 1am. Just a hint.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 10:56 PM
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31

That doesn't actually seem OT at all in this thread.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:00 PM
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it would seem less creepy if you didn't make a huge deal out of making plans with me and then blow me off, and then beg to see me at 1am.

Respond with exactly that. There's nothing wrong with being blunt about it. You didn't do anything wrong.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:05 PM
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33

I hope you still have some affection for drunk commenting.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:08 PM
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34

Yeah, it's been going on a long time. I had sex with her once, and then we went for a hike a week later, and then she kept showing up in places where I was ("Oh hey you!") and texting me every few days with "How are you?" which I don't really recognize as a very engaging question. I think now she's trying to dramatize her inner conflict at me or something, which has fuck all to do with me. If she just asked me a question I could answer it, but it's like she wants me to jump in and say, "OMG ME TOO I cannot wait for us to be best friends/lovers/whatever come over right now and let's talk about it!!!" So not in the mood for this shit. Lesson: never have sex with anyone for any reason.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:09 PM
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I thought about doing 32, but that would imply that I actually wanted to go out in the first place. Instead I said that it's perfectly fine; I had way too much to do to go out anyway. That's what is making her nuts, I suppose, since she seems to be trying to get a rise out of me instead of doing, oh, anything that would communicate friendliness or even sincere interest.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:14 PM
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Lesson: never have sex with anyone for any reason.

Noted.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:17 PM
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37

Seriously, though, that sucks.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:17 PM
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38

So I assume the premise of "texts from Bennett" is that Bennett can text but doesn't read anything on the Internet?


Posted by: Lord Castock | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:20 PM
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37 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:20 PM
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38: Seems reasonable if he's in jail a lot.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:23 PM
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On the hike, I explained to her that I was not interested in dating anyone at all, or in developing any kind of ongoing sexual relationship if I can help it. But I was the first woman she'd slept with (and we had a very mature and thoughtful conversation about what that would mean for her beforehand! I was very mature and thoughtful!), and, well, I'm really good at having sex with girls. That does not mean I want to do it more than once.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:24 PM
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Similar to the OP (and yet different), but not as timely, this is pretty great. Ah, the brave new algorithmic world we live in.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:29 PM
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43

I rather like the absurd MOTTSAPPLESAUCE one.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:31 PM
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44

Clearly the solution to AWB's problem with this woman is to create a tumblr full of her texts without telling her.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:31 PM
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Ugh, it would be too sad and repetitive. How are you? How are you? Doing good! Beautiful weather today hope you're enjoying!!!


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:31 PM
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46

Well, you'd have to include commentary mocking her.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:32 PM
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I don't want to mock her! I like her; I just don't like the weird passive-aggressive thing she's trying to do to attract me. I've gotten almost exactly the same shit from three different guys from town too. They seem kind of interesting maybe and then they turn on the charm, which, to locals, apparently means acting vaguely hostile and then getting really upset when you don't attack them with desire.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:34 PM
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Hm. If this keeps happening with multiple people it sounds like a clash of cultural norms of some sort, but it's hard to tell what those norms might be.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:36 PM
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On rereading 34, though, it sounds like in this specific case she's super into you but maybe kind of conflicted about that and/or not sure how to interpret your behavior.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:41 PM
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The way I met this girl was that I had a blind date with her ex-boyfriend, who refused to make eye contact and mocked me repeatedly for an hour while staring at his phone, and then she shows up at the bar asking why he kept texting her to meet him there. When she and I got to talking, he started texting me claiming to be getting a blowjob in the public restroom. Obviously hostile and hateful right? Then the whole next week I'm getting texts from him asking how I am, wishing me a beautiful morning, wondering what I'm thinking about, hoping I am interested in seeing him again. It's insanity.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:43 PM
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49: I'm not sure how much clearer I could have been, other than saying, "Please don't contact me; I don't want to be your friend." I did want to be her friend! But she's acting all weird. God, people.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:44 PM
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The way I met this girl was that I had a blind date with her ex-boyfriend, who refused to make eye contact and mocked me repeatedly for an hour while staring at his phone, and then she shows up at the bar asking why he kept texting her to meet him there. When she and I got to talking, he started texting me claiming to be getting a blowjob in the public restroom. Obviously hostile and hateful right?

Certainly sounds like it from the way you tell it, but it's really hard to tell what he was thinking.

Then the whole next week I'm getting texts from him asking how I am, wishing me a beautiful morning, wondering what I'm thinking about, hoping I am interested in seeing him again. It's insanity.

This makes it sound like his overall interpretation of the night was very different from yours, but again, hard to say why.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:49 PM
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I'm not sure how much clearer I could have been, other than saying, "Please don't contact me; I don't want to be your friend."

Sounds like you might have to actually say that.

God, people.

Word.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:50 PM
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52: Huh, I thought tags didn't carry over hard returns. Anyway, only the odd ones should be italicized.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 1-11 11:51 PM
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I'm trying to avoid the usual Unfogged interpretation that AWB lives in an alternate universe where everyone is insane, but in this case it's pretty hard.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:00 AM
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Yeah, I am getting the sense that there are a lot of people who think being bitchy or annoying is a good way to flirt. One guy I met here got along really well with me until he started overtly flirting, which I think was intended to be really irritating until I (I think?) was supposed to express interest by batting at him and telling him to like shut up omg that's so gross/weird/whatever. When people are annoying, the way I respond is to give them zero attention for that behavior. He's since gotten quite serious with some woman and was posting on FB about some fight they're having in which she screamed at him for watching a football game and he's all "How can this relationship problem be solved?" and I was about to say, wow, that sounds like some really psychotic behavior before I realized it was some joke conversation about you know how ladies are.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:01 AM
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55: I appreciate it.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:01 AM
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I am getting the sense that there are a lot of people who think being bitchy or annoying is a good way to flirt.

Well, maybe it is for them in most circumstances, but you find it annoying (and indeed, it does sound annoying to me too) and thus it doesn't work. This is what I meant about cultural norms above.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:04 AM
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Yeah, I wonder if it's some kind of prolonged adolescence thing. I can remember flirting that way in high school, and I was a really developmentally delayed high school student, flirtation-wise. These are people in their 30's, which seems alarming to me. But they're living in the town they went to high school in. It seems to encourage a sort of arrested sexual maturity, maybe.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:06 AM
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Could be. I dunno; it's like whatever is going on in their heads is mostly inscrutable to you, and then we here are getting it secondhand through you, so it's even more garbled.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:08 AM
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Is it just people who grew up there that act like this? Or is that basically the extent of the dating pool, in which case you wouldn't be able to tell?


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:12 AM
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62

AWB doesn't want to sleep with her twice because that would be queer.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:16 AM
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63

One interpretation would be that while AWB is really good at having sex with girls, this girl is, um, not.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:19 AM
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64

There are other possible interpretations, of course.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:19 AM
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61: There isn't much of a pool. As far as I can tell, the social spheres here are the college, and the townsfolk, who can, I suppose, be divided into more and less awesome townsfolk. I like some of them a lot. But dating here would be incredibly grim. I had an ex visit a few months ago and my women friends still talk about it as the only time they've met an appealing man here. I think they exaggerate, but I know what they mean. There isn't exactly a large pool of fashionable single smart good-looking easy-going people here. We crashed a 10-year high school reunion by accident last week and ended up making friends with some nice cool-seeming lesbians, who of course live in Baltimore.

Anyhow, I am not fretting, as I'm about halfway through my time here. Or at least I will be if I get a job. I have heard nothing and am starting to despair. Alas. Bedtime! Night night.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:21 AM
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62: OICTIQ, yes. 63 is true only in that it was her first time. She was really into it, which was nice, but it's much easier for me to do things I do well than patiently instruct a one-night-stand partner in the finer arts.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:24 AM
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I blame 56 on Hollywood. If you haven't got much experience dating and you look at how the media tells you to get the interest of a woman, you get the impression that you're best off being an asshat because all the ladies like a bad boy and apart from sex and that there's nothing else much you can get out of her anyway, so it's not like you have to be friends with her.


Posted by: Martin Wisse | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:59 AM
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67 makes sense, but I am curious what flirtations look like there when they're going well -- who gets to choose to be the pissy one? Are they both pissy? Is the big change of heart a fight, or does someone buckle, or is there a smoldering kiss a la Frank Yerby?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 1:04 AM
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69

Smoldering kiss, surely.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 1:10 AM
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70

I've certainly done my fair share of 'being a minor asshat' teasing/flirting, but not for, what, 20 years? It does seem like a thing that people grow out of. Although I think people misread things sometimes. A female friend of a friend was being an arse one night when we were in the pub, so I was mildly insulting to her. I think to this day she thinks I was flirting with her. Which, er, no.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 1:18 AM
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71

You big lug.

(??)


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 4:01 AM
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72

AWB's one-night-stand that can't let go doesn't sound at all like a crazy AWB story. People are weird about sex, and I could see if it was her first time with a woman, even if you had been very mature ahead of time, her .... well, not being mature after the fact. She wants more of AWB, knows if she directly asks AWB she'll say no, and so, voila - passive-aggressive behaviour that she seems to hope will somehow endear her to AWB even though she knows it won't. (I mean, aren't there entire films where this is the plot, albeit generally with a woman and a man?)


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 4:47 AM
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|| OT Networking question.

There's a guy at my church who just retired from the Social Security administration. What he was doing was helping a notoriously corrupt state learn how to manage its Medicaid program.

Now he's got a part-time job as a consultant for a healthcare financing non-profit consulting group to states.

He's a very active gardener, and I'm going down to help out tomorrow with the greening of the church. He also likes to go to New York for the opera and the museums, the latter are most of what I've talked about with him.

I'd like to ask him about informational interview possibilities, but I feel like I'm violating a social/professional boundary--a feeling I need to get over. Any thoughts on how to do this.

The priest's wife introduced us once, and at that time he suggested a couple of websites for information. I don't know whether that was a blow-off or whether, because he worked for the Federal government for so long, he's out of touch with how people get jobs.

Tips for how to approach this, anyone? I'm too outspoken once I know someone, but otherwise I'm quite shy.

|>


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 6:07 AM
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74

Ask him if you could get together later, or if you could call him. It shouldn't be a problem.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 6:50 AM
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75

Then text him at 1 a.m.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 6:51 AM
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76

The way I met this girl was that I had a blind date with her ex-boyfriend, who refused to make eye contact and mocked me repeatedly for an hour while staring at his phone, and then she shows up at the bar asking why he kept texting her to meet him there. When she and I got to talking, he started texting me claiming to be getting a blowjob in the public restroom

It's posts like this that make me grateful for being in a long-term relationship.


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 7:14 AM
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72 gets it right. This sounds like normal behavior for the situation where one person wants to keep hooking up and the other doesn't. It hurts to be rejected and that hurt plays out in people's post-rejection behavior.

I never really grokked the one-night stand thing. I've only ever had one and I never understood how you want someone one night and then you don't anymore.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in." (9) | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 7:26 AM
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78

What if the person you had for one night killed your dog on the way out?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 7:29 AM
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79

Maybe AWB is seeing our insanity for what it is and the rest of us are deluding ourselves. I wouldn't bet much against that possibility.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:14 AM
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79: Oh, I think the woman's behaviour is mildly insane (in the non-technical sense, of course), I just don't think it is a case of, "Oh, that AWB, the craziest stuff happens to her!" and instead is something that is relatively common.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:19 AM
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81

I never understood how you want someone one night and then you don't anymore.

RTFA, Unfoggetarian.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:20 AM
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77: Honestly, if this girl had ever asked me out in any way, or said she'd like to hook up again, I would have considered it. The option that will not ever work is sending a bunch of text messages over three months offering and asking nothing. This is the first time she's actually asked me to do something with her. I said yes. She didn't follow up with a plan, but then says at 1am that she just wants to be my frieeeeend. What the fuck? That's not friendly.

I do not prefer one-night stands, but they are a lot better than getting woven into someone's insane psychodrama


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:36 AM
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I've only ever had one and I never understood how you want someone one night and then you don't anymore.

I can't imagine this is really that hard to understand. Not everyone wants to do it, and not even the people involved always want to do it. One of the things you can never, ever predict when sleeping with someone is how it will change their behavior afterward. People change a LOT after sex, and often for the worse. I've seen it happen with too many people I've cared about, watching them become dismissive, cruel, stony, violent, possessive, whatever, that I'd really rather sleep with strangers or no one at this point. You simply can't trust that the person you went to bed with is the person you wake up with.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:49 AM
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84

I think she took you seriously when you said you weren't interested in an ongoing sexual relationship. As a result, you've ruled out the one thing she wants now more than anything else, so she's sputtering around looking for something else to ask for.

I sympathize, really. When I know I can't say the one thing I want to say, I wind up saying all sorts of stupid shit. Also, I bet she's brimming with excitement about her new orientation. "I'm a LESBIAN now! I want to go be a lesbian some more! With the same lesbian I was a lesbian with the last time, because that was les-tastic!

Maybe she should find a different girlfriend. At the very least, there needs to be a conversation where she can say what she really wants.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:54 AM
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85

On the one-night-stand front, there's also being generally misanthropic about dating people, but nonetheless being attracted. There's a very small percentage of the population I'd want around on an extended basis, because I'm difficult and cranky like that. There's a fair number of people who don't fit into that percentage who nonetheless look like they'd be fun to have sex with. Were I single, this seems like a pattern of preferences that would support one-night-stands, and I doubt that it's that unusual.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:55 AM
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86

84 is an interesting reading, and possibly true.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:57 AM
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nonetheless look like they'd be fun to have sex with

OOH! OOH! PICK ME! PICK ME!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:59 AM
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People change a LOT after sex, and often for the worse.

You mean flaccidity? Don't go blaming guys for needing a refractory period.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:00 AM
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When I know I can't say the one thing I want to say, I wind up saying all sorts of stupid shit. [...] "I'm a LESBIAN now! I want to go be a lesbian some more! With the same lesbian I was a lesbian with the last time, because that was les-tastic!"


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:00 AM
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90

I have many, many times been the girl who thinks we had a nice time and wants to see the other person again, having been led to believe that this would be a welcome offer, and have been surprised by never getting a reply, or the surprisingly frequent "wow, I had such a great time with you it reminded me of how much I loved my ex, so I got back together with her today! thanks for showing me how great it is to be with someone!" It's not like I haven't been on the other side of this table. But, being on the other side, I always just wanted to know if we were going to see each other again and asked the person out. I didn't pester them with pointless questions for three months and then blow them off.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:02 AM
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84 is basically how I read the situation, trying to put myself in her shoes. This - if this girl had ever asked me out in any way, or said she'd like to hook up again, I would have considered it - surprised me (perhaps based on selective reading above), as I thought it sounded like you were pretty clear that it was to be a one-night only thing.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:03 AM
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92

I'm just saying, if she's trying to make a case that we should date, against my proclivities against dating, she's doing an incredibly shitty job. I am weak and can be tempted into sex, but not by this kind of behavior. It's not attractive.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:09 AM
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92: Right; I think she thinks you'd reject her if she really came out and said what she wants, and so instead she's being really weird about it. Then again, most of the time I've got no clue what goes on in people's heads, so I might be totally off-base.


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:11 AM
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94

Yeah, I can make up all kinds of stories why she'd be doing the weird text message thing rather than straightforwardly asking you out (she's always been the askee, never the asker, and is too inhibited about it to do anything but flirt weirdly hoping you'll chase her?) but when you've actually got plans with her, standing you up makes her too weird to bother with (barring a sane explanation and request for reschedule).


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:13 AM
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95

Then again, most of the time I've got no clue what goes on in people's heads...

The home fMRI machines will be the hit of Christmas 2014.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:13 AM
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93 underpins a lot of this weird passive-aggressive "flirting" I've been subjected to here, which could possibly say more about how people react to me than about how they are to one another. I don't come across as the easiest nut to crack.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:14 AM
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94: We should at least consider the argument that having dated the guy described in 50 more than once might make her too weird to bother with. Who goes to a bar to see their ex on a date after the ex keeps texting them?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:16 AM
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98

I think Moby has it!


Posted by: Parenthetical | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:17 AM
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99

Just last evening I listened to two hours of St/eve P/nker trying to explain why people do things like this. Turns out Parenthetical's right on the money! Except P/nker was a lot more fascinated with the "would you like to see my etchings" come-on than Parenthetical seems to be.


Posted by: STUDENT PRESIDENT | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:19 AM
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97: Believe me, I wondered the same thing. On our hike, she explained some about her relationship past, having been married to some psycho who locked her in the basement with a broken leg as a "joke" and then 10 minutes after letting her out couldn't remember that he'd done it, and then dating some other psycho who wouldn't let her go out with her friends, and then the guy in 50 seemed really nice, I suppose in comparison? I'm also taking for granted that he behaved shittily to me because I bring out the worst in people. Or he behaved shittily to me because this girl broke his heart and he's taking it out on women. But the racist impersonations of ghetto folk were a step too far. I told the girl about that and she did the usual rural-PA racist shuffle about how it seems like it might have been "inappropriate on a date."


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:22 AM
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They're going to be on Cops someday. If you're next to them during the filming, just remember not to sign a release so producers will have to blur your face.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:25 AM
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Until I read 100, I was going to recommend that you sleep with her again, just because that always sounds like good thing to me. But now I'm thinking that she is a vortex of insanity to be avoided.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:27 AM
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Until I read 100, I was going to recommend that you sleep with her again, just because that always sounds like good thing to me.

In what world is this true?!! I guess if you only ever slept with non-crazy people to start with.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:33 AM
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104

One thing is: I had a coastal friend move into the interior, (to his birthplace in fact, where he met some cousins and half brothers), and what he said was that people there were stand-offish and hard to get to know, but that once you knew them couldn't get rid of them. (More favorably, from a different person: in the Midwest people are hard to get to know but they make good friends, but on the West Coast people are easy to meet and hard to make friends with). It's a transience and fluidity difference.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:36 AM
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I like to err on the side of offering to sleep with people again, even if the first time wasn't all angels blowing horns from heaven, as long as they don't act crazy or mean afterward. I don't mind being rejected.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:37 AM
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104 makes sense. That was definitely my experience with friends in/from Cleveland.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:38 AM
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In what world is this true?!!

In the world where crazy people are often great in the sack.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:53 AM
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108

You can always go buy a new bunny.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:56 AM
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IME, crazy people are often on heavy medication that makes it difficult to be truly great in the sack.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 9:57 AM
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104: And on the East coast we get the best of both worlds.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 10:06 AM
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People will leave you alone if they don't know you, and if they do know you they'll still give you some space.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 10:07 AM
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112

And you can tell if someone's trying to sell you something or scam you, because they're smiling and acting friendly.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 10:17 AM
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113

usual rural-PA racist shuffle

I don't doubt that there's plenty of racism there, but I find it difficult to accept any sweeping characterization as "usual" when you've lived in one part of semi-rural PA for a few months.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 10:19 AM
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114

113: Oh, sorry, I forgot to inform about my qualifications to make that statement, which far, far exceed four months of residence.


Posted by: AWB | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 10:46 AM
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Rural PA often scenic. That's what I always say when asked about it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 10:47 AM
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because that always sounds like good thing to me.

In what world is this true?!!

The actual one. People having sex always sounds like a good idea to me, at least at first. That is both how I actually am, and, I think, not that weird an attitude.

It is especially easy to recommend promiscuity for other people.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 10:49 AM
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It is especially easy to recommend promiscuity for other people.
Getting them to take you up on it is harder.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 10:56 AM
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114: My apologies if I was wrong. You often seem to me to universalize your own experiences, so I guess I unfairly generalized from that.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:03 AM
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usual rural-PA racist shuffle
I don't doubt that there's plenty of racism there, but I find it difficult to accept any sweeping characterization as "usual" when you've lived in one part of semi-rural PA for a few months.

I also don't like over-generalizations of racism, because populations are far more complex than that.

My guess is that rural-PA, as a group is very used to being around racism, and thus has these shuffling-habits, which you develop if you're living in a place where a critical mass people have offensive views.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:04 AM
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Typical central Texas apologist!


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:06 AM
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You often seem to me to universalize your own experiences
Don't we all?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:07 AM
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But, being on the other side, I always just wanted to know if we were going to see each other again and asked the person out. I didn't pester them with pointless questions for three months and then blow them off.

This actually strikes me as the kind of hard-earned experience one gets from dating around in a big city.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:09 AM
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This actually strikes me as the kind of hard-earned experience one gets from dating around in a big city.

Or even just dating around. I could, literally, count every girl/woman I ever went on even a quasi-date with on my 2 hands. And I didn't meet AB until I was 28. My range of experience was incredibly narrow, and way too informed by 1 or 2 major experiences, for me to be a really functional dater. I basically lucked out with AB, because otherwise there would have been a lot of badly communicated quasi-dates in my late 20s.

And while I may be at one end of the spectrum, I don't think I'm an outlier.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:22 AM
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121: Speak for yourself, nightshade. We crustaceans do not.

(I regret that eggplant is not a legume. It's a much better epithet than "nightshade.")


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:24 AM
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No, Nightshade is awesome. It sounds like a veggie-based superhero. "Nightshade and Cruciferous join forces to battle the well-known gang of tiny but deadly thieves, the Petit Fours!"


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:27 AM
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126

Any family that makes Tomacco possible is okay by me.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:28 AM
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Also, I bet she's brimming with excitement about her new orientation.

It's like vampires. AWB has to return her texts because she's the one who turned her. Also, she sparkles in the sun now.


Posted by: gswift | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:46 AM
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I thought AWB just got a toaster. Isn't that how recruiting works?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:49 AM
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129

It's like with Amway. Every lesbian you create has to give you a cut of all future lesbian sex she has.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 11:54 AM
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I've never thought about it before, but the only way Amway makes sense is if they are all having sex with each other.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:08 PM
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The solution is clear: AWB should kill everyone she has sex with, immediately after the sex.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 12:19 PM
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I think it's a bit strange to think "Sure I already preemptively rejected her, but if only she'd open herself up to being more explicitly and painfully rejected then maybe I would sleep with her again." I don't think it's reasonable to expect people to treat rejection in a dispassionate way.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 1:16 PM
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133

There is no Bennett. I'm sad.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 4:13 PM
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134

131: Praying-mantis-style, or black-widow-style?


Posted by: MAE | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 4:45 PM
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135

I would be sadder if Bennett were real.


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 5:07 PM
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I bet Bennett's cousin is gonna have some words with his dad next time they see each other.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 5:29 PM
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133: "You try to ruin the fun for everyone." He then added, "We're trying to protect the storyline."

HUSTLA DA RABBIT is still real! He's real in HERE [points defiantly to chest] where it counts!


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 6:18 PM
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Aren't we supposed to applaud if we want HUSTLA to live? I get these things mixed up.


Posted by: Biohazard | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 6:21 PM
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138: throw a sign, yo.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 6:35 PM
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140

I'm pouring out a 40 on the sidewalk for Bennett.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 7:20 PM
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133: Hah! I knew it!


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 7:32 PM
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142

I'll never doubt you again, Tur.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 7:36 PM
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143

Sometimes your name reminds me of Mr. Bell, the lady teacher from Someday Angeline


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 7:37 PM
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With a name like "Hardlick" I can see the association... laydeez.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 7:45 PM
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142: Or your sidekick, Tuga.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:14 PM
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You mean his wife, Mr. Tuga?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12- 2-11 8:17 PM
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Gotta be careful with those one night stands.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12- 3-11 1:54 AM
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And you had such a fantastic meet-cute, AWB! What a shame.

I suppose I agree with Moby and others that this isn't all that weird; fear of rejection makes people act oddly. And maybe she just felt like it would be wrong, or at least rude, to just never contact you again, despite not really having a reason to contact you again. I'd only add that I don't think most people are very reflective about what they really want in terms of sex and relationships. And even those who do put lots of thought into it are sometimes quite mistaken about what actually works for them.


Posted by: trapnel | Link to this comment | 12- 3-11 2:45 AM
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||

Achewood is back!

|>


Posted by: Awl | Link to this comment | 12- 3-11 3:41 AM
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lurkey still has to be hustla da rabbit, anyway, though. sorry lurkey, we had a committee meeting and everything. it was that or wry cooter, so, you know.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 12- 3-11 5:34 AM
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I'd only add that I don't think most people are very reflective about what they really want in terms of sex and relationships. And even those who do put lots of thought into it are sometimes quite mistaken about what actually works for them.

I think people are very reflective, they are just generally wrong. It is part of the general truth that people are very self-obsessed but not very self-aware. I don't blame them, though. Self-knowledge is hard.


Posted by: rob helpy-chalk | Link to this comment | 12- 3-11 6:13 AM
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152

I'm sad.

Never mind. Have this tumblr instead.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 12- 3-11 7:29 AM
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5: The line likens the silence of "Real G's" (whatever that means) to the silence of the silent "g" in "lasagna." Which makes the argument over how to spell "lasagna" even funnier.


Posted by: Benquo | Link to this comment | 12- 3-11 8:44 AM
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Achewood is back!
One strip, and then nothing for ten days (and counting)? I'd like it to be back, but I don't think this counts, yet.


Posted by: Nathan Williams | Link to this comment | 12- 5-11 8:52 AM
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