Surely you can catch the server's attention shortly after you walk in the door and say "Hey, [server], sorry to be a pain, but can I change up my regular order and try the migas mexicanas this time? Thanks!" There must be a moment between when the order is put in before the cooks start making it when a change like that is still possible, right?
Probably. This past two weeks, shuffling in the door with the kids and the chaos and the hunt for the high chairs has meant that I haven't gotten her attention until she has come over with the coffee, and already placed the order.
I could certainly say "Hey, I want to change it up next week. Heads up!" I've been not-saying that, because the implication is possibly "I wouldn't have ordered the stuff you assumed I wanted today, and you screwed up."
If they're agreeable enough to remember your regular order, they will almost certainly be happy to change it, as OY outlines. It's what "waiting on" means! If you still inexplicably feel you're inconveniencing them, surely you can leave a larger tip.
I don't know that I've ever been anywhere that a server didn't at least check in with "are you having the usual this morning?" before just placing your damn order. In that case, I wouldn't feel the least bit bad telling her that you want something different, even if they've already started cooking something else.
Yeah, if it's that hard to change your order then by normal standards they're inconveniencing you. Ask them to check with you next time.
It's a fucking restaurant with a goddamn menu. You're supposed to be able to choose what you want.
2 Right, you'll have to change the task sequence, at least once. Attention first, then high chairs and seating.
Hmm. You all make it sound so easy.
Throwing the plate of black bean and egg breakfast tacos on the floor and shouting "I wanted migas mexicanas breakfast tacos!" would be over the top, but only slightly.
Oh, I'm sure I would have the same hesitations as you if it were happening to me.
If you want to be touchy-feely about it, you could start by looking at your just-arrived plate with a slightly disappointed rather than eager expression, and then when paying, do the polite "sometimes I want to try other things on the menu, so can you check with me first?" Of course that first step might not help if it's a very busy place.
It is completely cracking me up that while I can't remember clear enough search terms to find it, Ogged had this same problem in 2005 or so -- he was dealing with a deli where the counter guy had weak English, so once his usual order had been established it was very hard to change.
Bribing HP to throw the plate of black bean and egg breakfast tacos on the floor and shout "Mommy wanted migas mexicanas breakfast tacos!" would actually be perfect. While you pretend to be surprised and apologize for her outburst (but note that what she says is true). If you think you could get HP to cooperate.
I agree that it would be hard to signal your desire for something different after the food arrives. The fun of being a regular is feeling like the server knows you and is comfortable with you (you're not one of *those* people, it's a pleasure to see you every Friday!) and you don't want to give that up.
That said, you could also wait until the food comes and then say "I'm sorry, it looks like I got somebody else's order--I always get the migas mexicanas, remember?"
13: Sublime:
14.2: Only if she wants to have the same problem henceforth ordering anything other than migas mexicanas.
I could certainly say "Hey, I want to change it up next week. Heads up!" I've been not-saying that, because the implication is possibly "I wouldn't have ordered the stuff you assumed I wanted today, and you screwed up."
Because I'm non-confrontational in these matters, I would likely, while enjoying my black-bean taco, ask the server a question about the migas taco. Then react to the answer by saying something like, "Hey, that sounds very good. I'd like to try that one next week."
Might not work. But it might. Or just do what 7 says.
When you get to the restaurant, greet the server (by name?) as soon as you come in, and make it clear you're happy to see her. Then, ask if you can try the other doohickey.
Or, after the food arrives, say "thank you! You know, I worry that I'm getting boring with my food order. How are the other-doohickey? Maybe I'll get that next time!"
Then you've primed her to ask you next time.
Huh, I was pwned. Go figure. It's like Stanley knows me!
(contented sigh)
I like urple's overly-elaborate solutions to trivial problems.
Agree that 13 is a fantastic solution. You don't even have to acknowledge that it's your own wish, though--you could just say that HP's in a phase where she'll throw any black bean and egg tacos on the floor, so you'll just have the migas mexicanas to keep the peace.
As for 15.2, you're assuming that this approach can't be redeployed as needed. "No, I always get A" followed the next week by "No, I always get B" and then "No, I always get C" would likely change your reputation in the kitchen, but would also probably lead the server to ask you what you want instead of continuing to make faulty assumptions.
The fun of being a regular is feeling like the server knows you and is comfortable with you (you're not one of *those* people, it's a pleasure to see you every Friday!) and you don't want to give that up.
And being someone who comes every week but occasionally orders something different would make the server uncomfortable? Maybe servers can't recognize a face if it isn't paired with the correct food?
No, ordering something different would be fine. The only thing to avoid is making the server feel like he/she overstepped, which would lead to overcompensation and re-formalized interactions.
The only thing to avoid is making the server feel like he/she overstepped, which would lead to overcompensation and re-formalized interactions.
Exactly.
Tell them on your way out. "Well, that was great as usual. I was thinking maybe I'd try something different next week, maybe the migas. What about that? See you around."
I would likely, while enjoying my black-bean taco, ask the server a question about the migas taco. Then react to the answer by saying something like, "Hey, that sounds very good. I'd like to try that one next week."
This is also a good idea.
I've definitely been a regular at places where I always got the same thing but then decided at some point to switch up. The server went back to asking me what I wanted every time, which actually felt like a bit of a loss -- it's fun when they know already! -- but didn't, like, hurt anybody's feelings or make anybody less friendly.
Yeah, I just typed almost exactly 25 before seeing chris y's version on refresh.
I love being a regular. Our regular ethiopian place here gave us a free meal for being their best customers. About half the time they remember our order there. I also eat a falafel place twice a week, and the staff turnover there is high but it only takes a month or so for people to learn my order. There I run into the problem where people start putting in my order, but because I'm on my 10th spot on the loyalty card they have to enter it a different way. It's no biggy, they just reset the order. You just ask.
28: That was a better thread.
One lunch place I went to pretty often in a place where I once spent several months seemed distinctly less appealing when I went back a few years later and no one there knew my name or my order.
We're regulars at the vaguely pan-asian sushi place down the street. We always sit at the bar because the bartender's super nice and unobtrusively competent. I went in there alone and he automatically put out a napkin for Blume and asked if I wanted my usual drink. Then he took my order and then left me alone to fiddle with my phone. So great.
We're sort-of regulars at another place that I won't describe in very great detail because it would sound a lot more mockable than it is. The hostess greets us by name, and last time we went in she brought over a bottle of unavaiable-in-massachusetts liquor from her "personal stash" because she thought it would be an interesting counterpoint to the after-dinner drinks we usually ordered and we can't get it anywhere else. So great!
But were they always glad you came? Could you see that your troubles were all the same?
32.1: just based on DE's pun in 15.1 alone.
I used to go to this cheap chinese place all the time before I moved to California; always got the same thing. Two or three years later I was back east and went there with my then-girlfriend. The owner-guy was thrilled to see me and said to my then-girlfriend "he's a good man. Don't let go!" Thanks, owner-guy, although I'm not sure how you divined that from my heroic ability to eat shrimp with lobster sauce seven days a week.
overcompensation and re-formalized interactions
I was once a regular at a burrito joint where everyone knew me and my order. One day when I went in they had put up new menu boards, but the food seemed to be the same, so I ordered my regular bean burrito with extra sour cream and handed over the money in exact change, as I always did. The guy who had previously been friendly and always addressed me by name got all stoneyfaced on me and barked "It's $4.23!" (Or whatever the new price was.) I had completely failed to notice that the prices had gone up. But why was he so mean about it? Why didn't he just say, 'Hey our prices went up'? Did he somehow think I was trying to leverage my regular-hood and continue paying the old price? He was never friendly to me again.
My sad story recently about being a regular is that the last time I went to my regular bodega there was a bug in my breakfast sandwich... I can't really go back, but it also feels weird to start going somewhere else, and I feel like when I run into the guy I'm going to have to explain why I don't go there anymore. Awkward.
33: I wonder if that's the same vaguely pan-asian place we used to be regulars at. They redecorated and renamed while we were living in western mass, and I can't prove it, but it definitely seemed like the food changed, too.
"Migas," he typed dreamily.
There is (to the best of my knowledge) one restaurant in all of the city of the Manhattoes that makes migas and now I want awfully to sneak off and get some for lunch.
Shorter this comment: SOME OF US DON'T EVEN HAVE MIGAS OK?
What a sad, deprived place Manhattan must be.
36: It sounds like this may have been a compressed form of "[he] don't let go [of one fucking menu item, ever]" or "don't let['s] go [there, girlfriend! Try the fucking double cooked pork!]"
39: The place where we have regulars status is relatively new; there used to be I think a Thai restaurant there. We get takeout from the other vaguely pan-asian place pretty often, and dine there occasionally, but have never sat at the bar.
I used to be a regular at, um, a bar in New York that's a pretty good venue for meetups. I really liked being a regular -- easy conversations with the bartenders and the other regulars. I never had a set drink order, though.
I would just console myself with the fact that the new dish isn't going to be any better (if it was, you would likely have ordered it first), and the novelty will wear away quickly.
This thread is reminding me of this thread.
Well, I have a question about another sort of interaction. It deals with blog commenting and real-life interactions. Someone suggested to me that I use blogs written by professionals as a way of networking. Read the blog, comment for a while and then follow up with an e-mail. Has anyone done this successfully?
That's how I got this job. Well, there was showing up and drinking beer involved as well, but blog connections were how it started.
Not planned, mind you. I'd been bitching about law firms and needing a different job for a while, and then Scott Lemeiux mentioned that Seth Farber, (The Talking Dog) worked in an office where I'd mentioned to Scott I was applying, and could probably get my resume pulled out of the stack. And after a few emails, I got called for an interview, and only eight months or so later (government hiring processes are slow) got hired.
Yay, networking! Such a hassle. So helpful.
I'm trying to think if I've ever gotten a job via blog contact. I don't think so, but almost every job I've ever gotten has been through somebody I knew, and most of the more recent ones have been via people I know online.
Yay, networking! Such a hassle. So helpful Not helpful yet!
Seriously, I have been schlepping all over this @#$%ing metropolitan area for the better part of five months, "networking." I CAN HAZ JOB NOW? PLZ?
We're regulars at the vaguely pan-asian sushi place down the street. We always sit at the bar because the bartender's super nice and unobtrusively competent. I went in there alone and he automatically put out a napkin for Blume and asked if I wanted my usual drink.
I've been going to the same place for brunch almost every Sunday since I moved to the Bay Area 15 years ago. Being a regular is awesome... except that going in the first time after Magpie and I broke up was a little awkward. (Amusingly, all of the staff had the same reaction when I told them we'd broken up: "This is why you should never ask where the other half of a regular party is!")
I got an indexing job via this very blog.
This blog has also gotten me saffron, vanilla, and brandy.
I wasn't thinking about the kind of thing where I would get a job straightaway. I just want to be able to build my network up. I have been thinking about rearranging my work schedule so that I work on Saturday and taking a day to volunteer for someone at a school of public health so that I can have relevant work experience on my resume. There are some professors who blog, Fr/a/kt is one. I'm wondering whether commenting on his blog and following up with an e-mail might be useful. This would be under my real first name.
Through my first blog I got a boyfriend and some opera tickets. Then I tried to blog in my field, half for the hell of it and half for vague networking purposes, but there's not enough of a bloggic presence in my profession and it mostly felt like blogging into the void and I ditched it. Also I was probably too stridently negative about my first job in that blog for it to have attracted potential employers, come to think of it.
on the OT, you could wait a few weeks and then make it a New Year thing to try something new.
Ummm...could you phone them right before you leave the house and tell them your new order?
This blog got me breakfast burritos hand made by Matthew Yglesias.
33: Is there a decent sushi place in New England? I mean, other than $250 omakase at O-Ya.
58 -- How was Yglesias in bed?
I got my current job because one of the faculty members here and I had started reading each other's blogs, and Chris saw this post and told me to apply to CMU. (I wouldn't have otherwise, since I wouldn't have thought I'd have had a chance.)
60: Not bad, except for all the panting and moaning about congestion pricing.
Did you leverage his unpriced externality?
Bonds ... wouldn't have done steroids if they weren't necessary for him to keep up with the worse juiced players.
I'm gonna need some evidence on that one. "Necessary for him to keep up" seems a little much, no? He hit 73 fucking home runs in a single season of his 762 home run career. "Necessary for be a consistent home run leader in a juiced era, or to shatter all those records"? Sure, I buy that. But those things weren't necessary at all. He could have remained gainfully employed by MLB (and could probably even have continued to be a perpetual all-star) without the steroids.
Aw, this thread died.
37: The guy who had previously been friendly and always addressed me by name got all stoneyfaced on me and barked "It's $4.23!" (Or whatever the new price was.) I had completely failed to notice that the prices had gone up. But why was he so mean about it?
I'm familiar with this from the Italian deli I once frequented; it changed hands but kept the same menu, prices changed, and procedures changed.
Some of the previous staff (the older true Italians) were still there, and they were suddenly a little hostile, with the barking: "No, we still have feta cheese, it's in the back, how much you want?!" and "No more small fresh mozzarella balls now, just the big!"
I think they were a bit miffed and defensive about fielding customer questions about the changes. I'm always a little wary when I go in now. The new owners also started stinting on certain ingredients -- probably doing cost analyses or something -- grr.
Maybe you can put the question mark in scare quotes"?"
Or perhaps try an interrostop?.
There's a coffee place across the street from my office where everyone I work with goes every day, so they learn people's orders pretty quick. The first few times I started going there I vacillated a bit on what to get, and they unfortunately memorized a regular order for me before I had settled on one. They would sometimes make it right when they saw me come in, mostly just when it was really busy, but usually they would ask to confirm and I gradually said that actually, I would have something slightly different this time, and eventually they shifted to seeing that as my regular order. Seems to have worked out pretty well.
68: My regular coffeeshop in town has memorized my order from when I was ordering quad-shot redeyes. I've since toned it down to a regular redeye on most occasions, but it's a bit embarrassing if I'm with a guest and the barista says, "Hey, Stanley. Quad redeye?" And then the guest recoils at the amount of caffeine I consume.
It also warms my heart that the folks at the shop know if my order is for here or to go based on whether I'm wearing my backpack (which signifies "for here"; I've brought a laptop/newspaper).
Being a regular extends a commercial transaction into the realm of social relationships with all of the fraughtness which that entails, Tom said earnestly.
I at times struggle a bit with my status as a regular at the small, somewhat eccentrically-run "Greek" deli in the lobby of my building. I go there quite a bit through convenience, and appreciate the ability to stop by in the morning (like I did yesterday) and ask them to hold back a fish sandwich for me since I won't get down before 1 and they'd otherwise be out, but it comes at the price of them questioning about my whereabouts if don't meet my usual quota over a week, and I find that I sneak in and out the doors at the other end of the lobby when I get lunch elsewhere.
69: Ha! I became well known for this same order, myself. They called it a "black eye" though. And always, always made a giant deal about it.
it comes at the price of them questioning about my whereabouts
"One word, Mr. Papandreou: austerity."
28: Everything is in the archives.
I do find I've begun to use them* as a go-to opinionated SWPL database. For instance my wife was debating whether to go fight the crowds at an All-Clad factory sale (it is made locally) and I just knew there would some opinions on it available on Unfogged--and so there were.
*Now that the hoohole seems to have been filled in (for Google at least).