Re: Advice

1

Second date, OK?


Posted by: jim | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 5:56 PM
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Third date. If you set the bar too high, she'll never be happy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:00 PM
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Goddamn Jesus.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:11 PM
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4th date?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:12 PM
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||

Only Tom Brady can defeat the Jesus now!

|>


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:17 PM
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Tebow got a posse.


Posted by: Goddamn Jesus | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:17 PM
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So, not good for the Steelers.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:18 PM
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First play of overtime, an 80-yard touchdown pass.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:20 PM
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Twitter said Steelers were behind by a ton, so at least they made it close.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:21 PM
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Moral victory.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:24 PM
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Jesus hates Big Ben. Fact.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:27 PM
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Tom Brady must stomp Jesus hard.


Posted by: oudemia | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:30 PM
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13

To this day, I remain impressed with the Applebee's that, ten or fifteen years ago, managed to cook a steak "medium rare" by leaving half of it bloody and making the other half well-done.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:33 PM
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Chargrill tartare.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:34 PM
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Jesus is small-minded about shit.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:34 PM
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I read that as chagrin tartare. Regret is a dish best served raw?


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:37 PM
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14: I'm glad I hit refresh before making a stupid joke.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:37 PM
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17: It would have been retartareded?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:39 PM
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Disappointed with the explanation for 3.


Posted by: David The Unfogged Commenter | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:39 PM
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Sorrow must always be carefully chopped (but never ground) and moistened with raw egg yolks in order to be palatable.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:41 PM
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Okay, so Applebee's is out for first dates. But was the implication that it was too fancy and they should level down to Cracker Barrel, or that it was not fancy enough and they should be hitting the Red Lobster?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:41 PM
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The parking lot of the Red Lobster by my in-laws was the site of a murder-suicide last month. Now I don't want to go back, even if they have Thirty Shrimp again.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:44 PM
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You can just follow their Twitter feed instead.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:53 PM
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24

That won't get me a greasy biscuit.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 6:55 PM
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Tim Tebow got a greasy biscuit.


Posted by: Goddamn Jesus | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:02 PM
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There's greasy biscuits at Red Lobster if you go there?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:04 PM
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Garlic cheese biscuits, I thought. My mom used to make similar ones. (Red Lobster is fine dining, as far as my parents are aware, I'm afraid.)


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:08 PM
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See what you're missing by not following the Twitter feed, Stormcrow?

redlobster Red Lobster
What's better than a Four Course Seafood Feast? A Four Course Seafood Feast with freshly baked Cheddar Bay Biscuits!
6 Jan


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:08 PM
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There's a twitter feed if I follow it?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:10 PM
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"Do you have what it takes to be LobStar?", it asks.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:11 PM
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Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. Or assistant manager, if you work out.


Posted by: Goddamn Jesus | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:13 PM
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This isn't a sports thread, is it?

Applebee's, no. One must always engage (in) a first date at an independent -- non-chain -- restaurant. Geez.

I don't know why people seem to lose track of this independent/non-chain line of thinking: a friend recently told me that I should bring my car for repair to Sears. Is that significantly cheaper than the local independent place down the street? I asked. Well, no. So, uh, why would I do that, since I prefer to give my business, such as it is, to small independently owned places? (No particular answer was forthcoming.)

Anyway, no crappy chain restaurants.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:13 PM
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33

I should have been a pair of ragged claws.


Posted by: LobStar | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:14 PM
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34

Eli, Eli, Lama Sabachtani!


Posted by: Goddamn LobStar | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:14 PM
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One must always engage (in) a first date at an independent -- non-chain -- restaurant. Geez.

No coffee or drink instead?


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:15 PM
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35: Yes, there's that. What is a date, really? Is it merely coffee or drink? Or is it not really a date date until it becomes dinner?

Dinner could be in the home, house made. It's still difficult to tell whether it's a date, even then.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:19 PM
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Lee's coworker friend just did a dramatic public proposal at "their" restaurant: The Olive Garden! I said I wouldn't mock it on unfogged but then this thread was here, so oops.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:21 PM
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My parents ate at Red Lobster today. They traveled to visit an old classmate in the hospital. Apparently my dad is the last member of his high school class who is ambulatory.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:25 PM
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My mom liked to go to The Olive Garden. She and I did kvetch about food quality the last time or two that we went.

On reflection, we mostly went because we were in a town/city unknown to us, and we (she) didn't want to gamble on some unknown place.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:26 PM
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33: Too sentimental.


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:28 PM
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41

Dinner could be in the home, house made. It's still difficult to tell whether it's a date, even then.

If it were the early days of dating someone and dinner in the home were suggested, I would take that to have a particular meaning.

Yay, third date!


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:28 PM
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42

It's still difficult to tell whether it's a date, even then.

Granted, if this is a friends-moving-toward-more thing, the situation is different. But if it's someone that definitely started out as a "date," especially someone you met online, then dinner at someone's house can be a big deal.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:30 PM
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43

Also, 37 is something that I would have a great deal of trouble not laughing at were the happy couple to tell me in person.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:31 PM
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44

I would take that to have a particular meaning.

Cheap bastard?


Posted by: Mr. Blandings | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:31 PM
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45

Cheap bastard?

I suppose my perception of these things is skewed by having dated a lot of fellow grad students throughout my 20s.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:32 PM
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46

45: Heteronormative much?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:33 PM
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47

On reflection, we mostly went because we were in a town/city unknown to us, and we (she) didn't want to gamble on some unknown place.

Indeed, this is one of the major selling points for chains as opposed to independent places.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:33 PM
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42: Yeah, even as I typed that, I realized that the kinds of dates people are talking about probably start out as dates. I've said it a million times before: what pressure!


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:33 PM
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49

didn't want to gamble on some unknown place.

That's what franchises sell, predictability and standardization. And a neutral, non-threatening atmosphere.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:34 PM
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50

If a conditional falls in a thread and no one notices it, does it exist on standpipe's blog?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:36 PM
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51

48: If the date doesn't start out as a date, how do you know to wear shoes that don't smell and to not be a huge asshole?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:38 PM
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51: That's what's so confusing about it all.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:41 PM
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It is entirely possible that all my shoes smell and nobody but me can tell when I'm trying to be less of an asshole.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:42 PM
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I'm going to come down firmly on this one: you should minimize, or even get rid of, shoes that smell. It's sad when you have to do that, but let's face it: you don't like it either, do you? There are shoe inserts and all that, and they can go some way, but eventually you just have to give it up.

It's sort of like dusting/sweeping/vacuuming the house that way: you'll be happier for it.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:47 PM
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43: Luckily I'm not the one who had to be supportive rather than giggly about hearing about the ring being placed on top or a slice or cheesecake and so on, just the one who laughed a little but also is happy for how happy they are, which is big.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:53 PM
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It's sort of like dusting/sweeping/vacuuming the house that way: you'll be happier for it.

hmmh... not borne out by empirical data.

Cheap bastard?

God I hate that fucking social convention. Not even the cost. It just feels weird.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:54 PM
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55: It would have to be the cheesecake. In the salad, it might look like a small onion.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 7:58 PM
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56: Really? You don't feel better and happier when there isn't a layer of dust all over the place? Granted, I live in a house that's not very airtight, and in a more sealed environment there might not be much accumulation to be cleared away.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:00 PM
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59

Chain buffets are first date places. You get to share food!


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:04 PM
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60

You can share food at any place. Thundersnow and I generally order an app and an entree and just share everything.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:05 PM
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61

After four years not cleaning, it doesn't get any dirtier.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:06 PM
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I have to make an effort to see the dust (e.g. if guests are coming). Even then I won't notice a lot of it. So dusting doesn't do anything for me. Vacuuming a bit, and I don't mind it, but it requires tidying up which I detest with a passion.


Posted by: teraz kurwa my | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:07 PM
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Thundersnow and I generally order an app and an entree and just share everything.

And that's enough food for the both of you?


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:07 PM
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59: Why pay for all you can eat when you can't stuff your face?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:08 PM
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60,63: His cute ferret doesn't eat much.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:09 PM
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63: In general. I feel like we eat often (4-5 times/day), but in small-ish quantities.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:10 PM
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OT: Stanley, I just emailed you re: piano at your unfogged address. Don't know if that works. If not I can make my way toward your blogspot address.


Posted by: parsimon | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:15 PM
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67: Hm. Nothing doing. Try stanleysparks at the google mail service.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:17 PM
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56.4: I hated it too, but not following it made all but two of my dates anxious & cranky.

I dated one for two or three years & am at 18+ years with the other. We both agree we should vacuum more often.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:18 PM
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Well that was a fun game (just finished watching on DVR). I guess I'm culture-war obligated to hate Tebow, and like all right thinking people I think he's a lousy quarterback who has gotten lucky, and it's horrible bet ...but OMG the satisfaction of pissing of Boston sports fans with that particular loss is too great not to hope for. Most likely ersatz Jesus gets crushed next week but sometimes dreams do come true so go ersatz Jesus go.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:19 PM
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OT: Air Supply is still touring and, to judge from their ad, one of them looks like Newt Gingrich would look if he took better care of himself.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:26 PM
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Thundersnow and I generally order an app and an entree and just share everything.

iPhones are great.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:36 PM
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63 gets it right.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:37 PM
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60: Oh, you mean with each other.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:44 PM
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On Tebow.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 8:52 PM
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I think Tebow's an unconventional QB who gets the job done. Haters be hating.

Peyton Manning has objectionable politics, too, but he's good at football.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:00 PM
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I think Tebow's an unconventional QB who gets the job done.

Hard though it might be to figure out what job that is.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:02 PM
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I dislike being obligated to dislike Tebow. He's entertaining, although you have to think Belichick will solve him.

I had recent meals at both Red Lobster and a very expensive, somewhat famous restaurant and although the latter was clearly far better than Red Lobster (RL food had lots of vaguely rancid fat, while the somewhat famous place had lots of delicious fat) but I didn't feel like I was engaging in a culturally superior experience eating at the latter.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:05 PM
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I think Tebow's an unconventional QB who gets the job done.

A brave stand, Stanley. You should call him "gritty" and "a winner". But really, he's awful. The only reason the Broncos won tonight was that they played Pittsburgh's second string. Rapey Ben was hurt, Pouncey and Mendenhall were out, and the sickle cell dude, what's his name, was sidelined so he didn't die. And then, once the game actually started, they lost half of their defensive line.

you have to think Belichick will solve him

He already did, quite recently. The only thing keeping me from saying that the Pats will win by a gazillion points is their recent abysmal record in the playoffs. Still, the Pats are going to win by a gazillion points. Or maybe more.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:11 PM
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80

Did anyone notice Tebow had precisely 316 yards?


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:13 PM
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Tebow pisses people off for completely irrational reasons. Roger Federer seems like a dick, but he's good at tennis.

There are probably a million examples of professional athletes behaving badly. They're not people you want to be friends with.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:18 PM
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Tebow doesn't piss me off at all. But I think he sucks at football. Now, sportswriters/casters who fellate him in print and on the air? They piss me off.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:20 PM
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I've found it difficult to get interested in the AFC this year. Which means that the Superbowl champ will probably come from there. If it's not New Orleans.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:21 PM
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But, even if Tebow doesn't piss one off (you know, they're mostly all terrible; he fits in fine culturally) he's definitely not a good quarterback,


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:22 PM
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Pwnedy!

During the Pats-Broncos game, the broadcasters did a side-by-side QB comparison in an attempt to prove that Tebow knew how to throw a football? ("Look! His back foot comes off the ground!") It... was not so successful.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:24 PM
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Tebow is definitely not a good qb, but he's an interesting one. The Broncos have gotten a playoff win running basically a 1940s NFL/high school football offense. It's totally unsustainable and badly designed to exploit NE's weaknesses, so they'll probably lose, but it's been fun/weird to watch.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:40 PM
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I don't understand the criticism that he's not a good quarterback. He scores points and wins games as a quarterback.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:48 PM
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88

I don't even own a Tebow.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:48 PM
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badly designed to exploit NE's weaknesses

You mean like the linebackers, defensive line, and secondary?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:49 PM
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89 -- yes.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:50 PM
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I haven't seen Tebow much, but he strikes me as OK given how little experience he has. He has real strengths (running, ball control/avoiding turnovers, general composure), although they are foreign to the modern NFL passing attack. But he is young enough to improve and he did have some impressive completions today.

I thought the deprecated thing about Tebow was the whole born-again/political thing, not so much personal dickishness. IMO he gets to have his politics so long as he doesn't claim that God is actively fixing football games for him.


Posted by: PGD | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 9:52 PM
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I went out to dinner just now and caught a bit of the GoDaddy Bowl. Northern Illinois was beating Arkansas State 28-13 in the third quarter when I left.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 10:25 PM
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87: are you trolling? In case you're not, he's not a good quarterback because he can't throw the ball. Yes, he occasionally gets lucky. But it's just that: luck. His mechanics are abysmal. As for winning games, he doesn't do that against good competition.

That said, PGD is right: he's very, very young. So maybe he'll develop into a good player. I'd say the odds of that happening are very long (see above re. throwing mechanics). Unless he becomes a strong safety, in which case he'll be a killer.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 10:27 PM
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Also, his completion percentage is laughable. In the modern NFL, quarterbacks must complete at least 60% of their passes to be considered competent. Tebow was, unless I'm mistaken, well under 50% this year. Yes, he runs well. But again, the reason you don't see great running quarterbacks is that this is modern NFL. The rules have been changed so that offenses have a huge comparative advantage, an advantage that is particularly huge when it comes to the passing game. Relying on running, then, is counter-productive in today's NFL.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 10:31 PM
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Skill at throwing the ball isn't as important for QBs in the modern game as it used to be.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 10:32 PM
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96

Sorry, one more thing: so it's clear that I'm not a hater, I actually like the Broncos. We lived in Denver for five years. And during that time, I came to like most of the Denver sports teams. I'd very much like to see the Broncos return to their glory days*. I'd even like to see Tebow succeed. But I think the chances of that happening, so long as he remains a quarterback, are vanishingly small.

* Though I'm more interested in seeing Halford agonistes enacted, so I'll be rooting hard for the Pats next week.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 10:33 PM
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Neb makes an excellent point. Well made, too.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 10:34 PM
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ball control/avoiding turnovers

What now? He fumbled more than all but two other players in the league. And he got picked off a bunch too.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 10:43 PM
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Interceptions were actually not that bad--6. I every 45 attempts, a bit better than league average.

What he really lacks is touch for the short game.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 11:09 PM
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Tebow threw so many wounded ducks in that game. You really start to notice how nearly all passes in the NFL are tight spirals, when looking at the wobbly monsters that Tebow throws. And most of Denver's big gains came on plays when the Pittsburgh secondary got burnt badly or missed multiple tackles in a row. After all, Tebow only completed 10 (!) passes, but they went for 316 (!) yards. A competent secondary would a) not allow the receivers to get behind the safeties and b) intercept a few of those terrible passes.


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 11:17 PM
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Is Tebow really that much worse than, say, Trent Dilfer? Mechanics are one thing, but with the right team make-up, you can be a caretaker and win. Denver's defense doesn't seem good enough, though.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 11:21 PM
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100 - Ryan Clark literally lost his spleen the last time he played in Denver, so he sat. (I had no idea sickle cell anemia interacted so horribly with athletics at high altitude.)


Posted by: snarkout | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 11:29 PM
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Tebow's completed passes:

51, 30, 58, 40, 17, 15, 6, 10, 9, 80

The first two led to the first touchdown. The 58 yarder led to the second touchdown. And the 80 yarder was the game-winning touchdown.


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 11:47 PM
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102

Wimp. It's not like he could lose another.


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 11:51 PM
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His last 3 games before the playoffs (losses to New England, Buffalo, and Kansas City), Tebow was a combined 30-73 for 439 yards, 1 TD and 4 interceptions. His QB ratings in those games were 80.5, 37.9, and 20.6.

John Fox, on the other hand, should be on every short list for Coach of the Year to have gotten Denver into the second round with Tebow under center, rickety Willis McGahee as his primary RB (380 yards in 15 games in 2010), and a no-name receiving corps, all while running an offensive scheme that hasn't worked at the pro level for four decades.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01- 8-12 11:52 PM
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106

105.2 gets it right. If he doesn't get Coach of the Year it's a travesty.


Posted by: F | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 12:04 AM
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I'm with von wafer, all in. except for liking the broncos. because I'm a skins fan. and just...I dunno, they're hatable as a franchise.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 12:55 AM
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108

I find it hilarious that halford's hatred for boston is genuine and not just an idle put on. show us on the doll where boston touched you, halford. it's ok, you didn't do anything wrong. no one's going to be mad at you.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 12:57 AM
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109

On reflection, we mostly went because we were in a town/city unknown to us, and we (she) didn't want to gamble on some unknown place.

There's this amazing thing called the internet where you can look up restaurant reviews.


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 1:40 AM
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Thundersnow and I generally order an app and an entree and just share everything.

Only works if you're running the same OS. The entree might be OK.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 3:22 AM
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101: Is Tebow really that much worse than, say, Trent Dilfer?

No, the difference is that it was universally recognized at the time that the Ravens won despite having Trent Dilfer at QB. There was absolutely no Trent Dilfer hype--the complete opposite in fact. (*I* argued at the time (and since) that they should have kept him the next year, but only on contrarian-in-your-face-we're-so-badass-we-can-win-with-a-terrible-QB grounds.)


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 4:33 AM
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109: Until Saturday I did not own a smartphone, so not everyone has the internet in the back of their pocket. Sometimes when you're driving somewhere, you have to stop and eat somewhere.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 4:49 AM
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I'd like an answer to apo's question too. Was the speaker saying that Applebee's wasn't nice enough or that it was too fancy for a first date?


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 4:51 AM
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111: To be fair to Tebow though, Dilfer never had a playoff game performance as good as Tebow's last night.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 7:15 AM
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115

My son uses the words "Olive Garden" and "Applebees" as insults.


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 01- 9-12 9:18 AM
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A little late, but:

Long ago, when I visited Notre Dame to go to a winter dance with a girl who'd had a crush on me in HS (I've told this before), she chose where to go for dinner. You know it: Olive Garden. I wasn't a huge snob yet, so I rolled with it, but it wasn't much later that I thought, "Really? There's no place in South Bend that serves Italian food, doesn't cost $20/plate, and isn't a chain?"


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:26 AM
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JRoth, you're desperately needed in the Sudoku thread. Look for Urple's first comment and read down.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:29 AM
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Related story: For my first "anniversary" with my HS GF, I took us out to what was, AFAIK, the fanciest restaurant in Morris County, NJ - The Wild Orchid or something. There was some sort of confusion with the reservation, and there weren't cell phones yet, and somehow my mom ended up calling the restaurant to clarify things. Which meant that the maitre d', in full cockblocking mode, told me upon our arrival that he'd gotten the message from my mom, and that things had been taken care of.

Christ.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:29 AM
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My son uses the words "Olive Garden" and "Applebees" as insults.

"Hey, Olive Garden, learn to drive!"


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:38 AM
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I should have used that this morning. Somebody nearly ran turned into me while I was crossing the street. I yelled at the top of my voice. She said, "I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose you know." I couldn't find any rocks nearby.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:41 AM
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On reflection, we mostly went because we were in a town/city unknown to us, and we (she) didn't want to gamble on some unknown place.

A few things:

This, of course, is the entire raison d'être of mediocre chains. And it's reasonably legit. What blows my mind is going to chains in your hometown, assuming that your hometown has non-chain options. Again, I bring up Olive Garden; there is certainly no town in the Northeast above 2500 people that lacks an Italian restaurant at least as good as Olive Garden and at comparable (or better) prices.

Unless I've had a string of bad meals on a road trip, I don't really see a problem with gambling on a meal - you might win! With Olive Garden, you can only lose. Maybe not a big one, but a loss.

My personal model for road trips is to go cheap on breakfast & lunch (whether diners, bakeries, or bread & cheese or PB&J from a grocery), and then go to a "nice" place in whatever town. It may not actually be great food by cosmopolitan standards, but it will most likely be better than Olive Garden, the experience will be nicer (experienced adult servers vs. HS kids), and most of the time the "nice" places are interesting, whether because they're kitschy or actually good or in a historic structure.

I do get the "I can't take another crappy meal at another small town shitbox restaurant" thing. When BOGF and I drove cross-country, we made a no-chain pact, but after 8 or 9 days of diner coffee, she got Starbucks in SF (this is so long ago that there weren't Starbucks every 5 miles between Pgh and SF).


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:56 AM
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You know there's a big plumbing thread going on under Sudoku?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:57 AM
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Not a euphemismistic big plumbing thread either.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:59 AM
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Big Plumbing got us into Iraq.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:03 AM
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there is certainly no town in the Northeast above 2500 people that lacks an Italian restaurant at least as good as Olive Garden

You'd have to at least your population for me to agree with this.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:04 AM
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ˆdouble


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:05 AM
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Probably depends on how you feel about Olive Garden. A bottom-end Italian restaurant would be the sort of place that's basically a pizzeria in a strip mall, but has tables and a smallish sitdown menu. Usually, I'd bet on the food there to be better than an Olive Garden, even if the selection is more limited.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:07 AM
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2500 does sound low - sort of one shop, one pub size. Of course, if by northeast you mean Veneto, Trentino/Alto Adige and Friuli, you're probably right.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:09 AM
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127: plenty of towns that size don't have a pizzeria in a strip mall.


Posted by: Sifu Tweety | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:12 AM
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Are there large areas of the northeast that didn't have many Italians settle there? Maybe the agricultural parts of central PA and NY? You probably will have trouble there. But near the industrial and mining areas, there's generally enough of an immigrant-based memory to get you something fairly good.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:13 AM
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129: Or a strip mall. They probably do have a pizzeria.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:14 AM
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I don't get a feeling for this Olive Garden hate. Is it actively nasty (cf. Brit. Pizza Hut) or just dull and predictable (cf. Brit. Ask).


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:16 AM
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I liked (but have never really done) William Least Heat Moon's strategy in Blue Highways, which was to ask the local librarian. Not always practical, of course.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:19 AM
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132: It's just dull and predictable. Olive Garden hate is a form of mild snobbery.

A bottom-end Italian restaurant would be the sort of place that's basically a pizzeria in a strip mall, but has tables and a smallish sitdown menu. Usually, I'd bet on the food there to be better than an Olive Garden, even if the selection is more limited.

I would say the food there would be worse than an Olive Garden. They would probably have pizza, calzones, a few baked pasta things, and a bunch of fried appetizers.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:19 AM
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132: Olive Garden would be Stuff White People Hate, were it not for the fact that white people actually like it quite a lot.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:22 AM
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135: Those Other white people.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:24 AM
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My vote is with Cryptic ned in 134.


Posted by: Annelid Gustator | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:25 AM
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Olive Garden kind of hits my 'actively nasty' sense, but it may be because its worst aspects are things I like and tend to order (and I've only been there once or twice). I like non-tomatoey cream or cheese based pasta sauces, but the OG version of them tastes and feels heavily laden with non-food thickeners; I don't know exactly what guar gum is, but like that.

The 'just barely more than a pizzeria' place I'm thinking of may only have red sauce and some kind of baked ziti thing, with fried appetizers, but it's unlikely that you'd order anything and get that "Oh, god, what are my teeth coated with" moment.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:25 AM
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Wait, I've been to an exact equivalent of the Olive Garden in Britain. Bella Italia. Large amounts of generic pasta-type food, for the price of something that should be somewhat better. Kitschy wall art. Frequent attempts to get customers to buy a low-end bottle of wine.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:26 AM
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OTOH, I could see picking an OG over the imaginary strip-mall pizzeria on the grounds that it's probably a more comfortable place to sit for an hour, and you could probably find something not too unpleasant to order.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:27 AM
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Yeah, I think I can calibrate this. Not a first date venue, then, unless neither of you give a shit about food and just want to fuel up for dancing later, WHICH ACCOUNTS FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE.

There are Italian chains, or at least franchises, here which I'd take a date to (Strada, Zizzi), though maybe not first date. If she thinks she's too good for those (mid price, reliable, well cooked and served, one or two quite imaginative menu items, decent wine), we aren't going to have a lot in common.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:32 AM
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In my experience, the pasta is better at the pizzeria but if you want a salad, think about going elsewhere.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:32 AM
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141: And if the options were really limited, I'd probably move it slightly higher up the list for a date than for a non-date meal; it rates better against the small-town America competition for comfort than it does for food.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:35 AM
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139. Oh, right. So the prejudice is a class thing as much as not, no?


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:36 AM
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Olive Garden is really not very good. The salads are fine only because of the huge amount of cheese dumped on them. Most of the chains are better. It isn't Ruby Tuesday bad, but it isn't a nice dinner like the Red Lobster either.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:39 AM
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144 to 135/6.


Posted by: Blume | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 9:41 AM
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RE: 2500 people. I had specific, small towns in bumfuck western PA in mind, but if you all want to insist that Saltsburg (pop: 960), Clymer (1400), and Rural Freaking Valley (920) are culinary meccas compared to what's near you, have at it.

On a professional basis, I have been to ±40 mediocre Italian restaurants of no class standing whatsoever. All but one or two have been better than Olive Garden. Olive Garden's pasta is mushy, their sauces uniformly oversalted, and their cream sauces inedibly gross. Oh, and the chicken is mushy as well.

Finally, to be clear, what I'm talking about is a (modest) step up from the strip mall pizzeria stuff described in 127. I'd say that what 127 describes will have some food better than just about anything in an Olive Garden, but that it will also have some pretty dismal stuff (e.g., a salad of white iceberg lettuce, a pale cherry tomato, and canned black olives, all with a viscous dressing). I wouldn't blame someone for picking Olive Garden over a strip mall pizzeria - OG would be more relaxing, with more options, and less fluorescent tube lighting.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 10:34 AM
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138 captures my take on OG perfectly. It's not clear to me how it is that "WTF is sticking to my mouth!?" is the sign of a snob, but an important part of proving that you're not really SWPL is proving that you're down with the gente, and sometimes that means claiming to tolerate godawful food.

Note: Bahama Breeze, run by the same company, is perfectly fine. I've eaten there on my own dime.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 10:40 AM
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I should add:

The popularity of mass mediocrity chains precisely tracks the latest in risk aversion research, right? People are extremely risk averse, and would rather take a small, guaranteed loss over a higher stakes bet, even if the latter is a distributionally better bet.

Also, too, if OG is your go-to Italian, then you order whatever it is that you like, and you don't deal with the stuff that tastes worst to you, and you also don't go to better places (often). I'm sure that, to a lot of OG customers, there's good Italian that costs a fortune and you go for your anniversary (or a wedding), and there's local Italian, that may or may not be good, and there's good old, reliable Olive Garden, where the Tuscan Chicken is just how I like it.

It occurs to me that the profusion of better Italian chains is probably a direct attack on the mediocrity of OG. There aren't other national seafood chains*, because Red Lobster is OK for what it is, and so there's not a big opening to provide better product for a competitive price. But OG? Anyone who tries can beat their product and match their price, and so you get Bravo! and Magglione's (?) and the profusion of other Italian chains.

IOW, the market agrees that I'm not being a snob, and that OG is sub-par. Suck it, socialists.

* out at the mall; there are some other chains, but most are targeting a high price- and swank-point, e.g. McCormick & Schmick's


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 10:57 AM
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I hope people are clicking on the link in 147. The tiny little pic of a dark, somewhat worn dining room makes me want to drive up there for dinner tonight. I'm so assimilated.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 10:57 AM
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Bravo is much better, but not nearly as common. We (my not-yet-wife and I) used to go to the original one very frequently back in the day.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 10:59 AM
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Of course, it went down in quality when it was enchained.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:00 AM
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147, 150: Perogie are Italian?


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:00 AM
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The way JRoth talks about Olive Garden is the way I feel about Red Lobster. Order something, and you get the thing you want, surrounded by a disturbing pool of butter. Everything is either surprisingly small or surprisingly big.

Meanwhile, others will just have to decide for themselves whether I am a non-snob whose roughhewn palate does not detect the mysterious texture problem that turns snobs off from Olive Garden, or whether I am a double-bluff reverse snob who finds the food inedible but chokes it down to maintain my fantasy of being in touch with the common man.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:07 AM
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Perogie have been taken into the local cuisine in general.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:07 AM
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147: Saltsburg

Way, way back in the day, the Saltsburg Inn used to be pretty good--no idea if it has held up. Saxonburg (Roebling's town) used to have a decent place as well.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:10 AM
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Sorry to say, the Saltsburg Inn is gone (unless my memory is playing tricks). PD Browns is still going strong, last I heard.

153, 155: I did think that was funny to be on the front page. I wonder where they get theirs.

Rural Valley, btw, is right at the edge of Amish country - we go through it every year on our way to the Smicksburg Fall Festival.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:19 AM
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Sometimes at the Smicksburg Fall Festival it is possible to observe AWB in her native costume.


Posted by: John Emerson | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:22 AM
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158: Wrong Amish country - we have a pocket in Western PA. It's sort of a way station for Amish traveling from Lancaster to Ohio, I imagine.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:31 AM
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No, wait, the Saltsburg Inn is still there. I was thinking of The Point Cafe, or whatever it was called, down near the river.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:37 AM
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Chain I like that I foolishly did not realize was a chain when I first went: Cheddar's. Chain that I liked pre-chain and even post-chain, but which has been very hit-or-niss of late: Quaker Steak and Lube.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 11:42 AM
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BTW, I want to thank you guys for giving me an angle on this week's review: how food service companies and general foodie culture have made decent food more generally available, and what it takes to rise above the average, when the average has improved.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 12:22 PM
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I have no idea what Cheddar's is.

The only time I've been to Quaker Steak was a couple years back, and it was disappointing. I didn't have high expectations, exactly, but I thought it would be better than it was.

Actually, thinking about what I was saying in 162, I wonder if the competitive advantage of chains is not economy of scale so much as the tradeoff of brand recognition for quality: if they advertise enough, and produce food of satisficing quality, then they can prosper with food that's 45% of the quality of their competitors. A local joint will have to be significantly better to steal business away, but a certain number of people will always choose the chain (as long as it doesn't suck).


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 12:27 PM
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163: I have no idea what Cheddar's is.

A Max & Erma's-type place. Originated in Texas, closest are at the Cabela's plaza off of I-70 outside of Wheeling and Morgantown. I'm apparently just playing my part in their grand scheme. Cheddar's does not advertise in any medium, instead relying on word of mouth.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 2:18 PM
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164: Interesting. I may have seen a sign for one somewhere, but it certainly wasn't familiar. I was going to be surprised if it was at every local mall.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 3:11 PM
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I've also eaten at the original Max & Erma's. Very nice.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 3:17 PM
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We are spoiled in Kansas City by a plethora of Italian restaurants founded by real Italians as well as the blessing by Lydia (Felidia's and something else in New New York City) of a Lydia's Kansas City, where I like to go if I'm feeling a bit well-funded.

Olive Garden is kind of trite but in a weird way. Their food is good, as I recall (I'v'e only eaten there twice, once fairly recently). Some of it is their approach to 'creating' Italian dishes and convincing the public that this is real Italian food. No, sorry. I've eaten in Rome, I've eaten in the better restaurants in Kansas City and Lydia's. No.

When i go out of town, I try to eat at local restaurants, not the chains. You get a better, more affordable meal.


Posted by: dragonet2 | Link to this comment | 01-11-12 8:52 PM
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